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I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
The tunnel was a dark abyss. The brown dirt and grey rocks creating shifty figures through the passage. The cold air was filled the cavern like smoke and the dirt and dust kicked up with every step.
Still, that wasn’t enough to stop either of them. Or… well it didn’t stop Spensa and certainly didn’t stop her from dragging a nervous Rodge alongside her.
The area in front of the two 13 year olds was lit only by a weak flashlight found in a cupboard from Rodge’s house. But, as weak and old flashlights tend to do, the battery died.
“Uhhh,” Rodge paused his walking to look around the enclosed space. Anxiously twiddling his fingers in front of him. “…I- I think we should head back.”
“Why?” Spensa asked. “It’s just a little less light. Your eyes will adjust.” She shrugged him off and took a few more steps forward. Rodge knew his eyes were already adjusting to the dark, but still.
He took a step back and yelped when he stumbled on a lifted rock.
Spensa turned back and rolled her eyes. “Rodge, stop being a wuss. I do this all the time.” The insult felt unnecessary, but she kept her tone light so he knew she mostly didn’t mean it. Key word; mostly.
“Yeah, but it’s also close to dinner.” He told her. “Your mom is going to want us back, especially since she’s hosting me for dinner as well.”
“Ugh, yeah you’re right.” Spensa replied. “Let’s go.” She grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him towards where they were before.
After walking for a solid 10 minutes, they realized that they had made a wrong turn. Scud.
“Scud.” Rodge breathed. “We’re lost.” He started freaking out, pacing back and forth in the darkness. When suddenly, Spensa said, “Eh, even if we are, I found us some dinner.”
Put off by her chipper tone, Rodge began to back up. “Spensa… what do you mean—“ He cut himself off by shouting.
“What?” She asked innocently and tilted her head with this shit-eating grin. As if holding a scudding wolf spider in the palm of her hand was normal.
“It’s so cute, isn’t it?” She brought it closer to her face then brought it closer to Rodge. “Look!”
“Oh no, no no no no no. No!” He began running in the opposite direction while shouting, “Scud no, Spensa!”
“Rodge, come back!” She shouted back at him while laughing hysterically. “You don’t know the way back!”
Oh, simple thing, where have you
been gone?
I’m getting old, and I need something
to rely on
The weird blue and yellow slug was repeating whatever noises came from Rodge’s tools again. But it didn’t annoy him as much as Spensa’s fancy-ass scudding ship was. Running his mouth about different kinds of mushrooms and how weird humans are. It was like the fourth time M-bot had called humans ‘squishy piles of meat’ that day.
“You know!” M-bot’s voice came from inside the cockpit. “I’m shocked that you are fixing my ship. Especially since you have been so mean to me!”
Rodge sighed and pulled away from his work. “I’m doing this Spensa, that’s all.” There was a pause, then M-bot continued his tangents.
It was true though. The only reason he was doing this was for Spensa. Sure, he got training out of it and yeah, maybe Spensa stilled owed him for many things in the past. But he loved her(Platonically! Don’t get it twisted!). With how different they were, it would shock anyone with how close they are. And how long they’ve been friends. But they somehow always just understood each other.
Rodge still remembered the day they had met. It was Kindergarten and some kid had pushed him to the side, calling him weird. Rodge was about to start crying when all of a sudden, the kid was shoved to the ground.
A small yet somehow very strong voice told the kid to be nice. That there was no reason this and that Rodge had done nothing wrong. The kid ran off and looking up, he saw a girl his age with short, messy and wavy hair and bright purple eyes standing before him.
‘Come on!’ She said excitedly, ‘Let’s go do something!’
Rodge smiled thinking back to that day the leaned forward to continue his work. His smile grew wider when a voice broke through the noise. Spensa was back from flightschool for the day and was once again complaining about the flight leader kid.
Rodge couldn’t remember his name but he knew that the guy’s callsign was ‘Jerkface.’
“Listen, I know you need to vent but could you help me hold up this was piece?”
So, tell me when you’re gonna let
me in
I’m getting tired, and I need
somewhere to begin
Other than the sound of drills and screws, the cavern was silent. Not even M-bot. Nothing
A traitor. Rodge had been shocked when he heard it. He had come in like it was any regular(ish) day and Spensa was there. He knew she should be at flight school and wouldn’t miss it for the world. Why was she still here? And asleep?
M-bot ended up explaining what had happened. Everything from Hurl’s death, to the one week leave, to the recording, and now.
It had been two days watching Spensa barely do anything besides lay in M-bot’s cockpit and clutch Doomslug in her arms. As much as Rodge understood that her whole world had just been flipped on its head. This was getting out of hand.
She wasn’t eating and barely drank anything. Just saying that she felt nauseous before slipping back into sleep.
On day three, Rodge brought extra of his normal meals for the day.
“Okay,” He stated, hands in his hips while standing on M-bot’s wing. “Spensa, you know I care about you. I’m not letting you die in my watch especially doing something very unspensa like. Like moping.” In the back of his mind, he knew there was a good chance Spensa would beat the shit out of for saying she was moping. But she was.
Eventually, Rodge managed to drag Spensa out of the cockpit and sit on the cavern floor. He placed the extra food and water for her in between them and just waited. Waited for what felt like hours while Doomslug nudged Spensa’s arm a few times.
Finally she began eating. She only got through about half the meal and 2/3rds of the water. But it was enough to satisfy Rodge for the day. He moved everything out of the way and moved closer to her.
They sat shoulder to shoulder for a few minutes before Spensa slowly grabbed his hand in hers. Rodge let out a silent sigh and squeezed her hand.
It was nothing romantic. They had their ups and downs. But it was a simple, warm reminder that they were here for each other. No matter what happens.
I can across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at
me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?
They were hiding out in a storage closet. It had been about four months since Battle of Alta Second, but Spensa was still high on discussion. She wanted to breathe and eat her lunch in peace.
Who would’ve known that someone who once wanted everyone to look up to her and be great would end up hiding in a storage closest to get away from the crowd.
The dark and cold closed space sort of reminded them of back when they would explore the caverns. Spensa joked that she had found a wolf spider in the closet and Rodge gave her a look.
Looking back on it now, that situation was rather hilarious.
After some silence, Rodge broke it with something had been a common discussion within Skyward flight recently.
“So…” He started. “How’s it going with Jorgen?” He smirked as Spensa choked on her drink. A blush creeping onto her face.
“What are you talking about?” She spat, though it sounded more embarrassed than threatening. “I have no idea what you mean or where you guys have gotten this idea that we like each other!”
Rodge raised his eyebrow and decided to tease her more. “Liking each other? That’s not what I meant.” Oh, this was fun. “I was just wondering how your friendship with him has been going. You know, since you used to hate one another.”
She whipped her head around and stood up quickly. “Come on, we should get going.”
“Oh should we?” He was trying to keep in his laughter. This was too much fun.
“Yes, yes we should! What if there is a Krell attack?” Even in the dark, Rodge could see how red her face was. Maybe spending all that time in those dark caverns really did help.
But before he could respond with something else, she was already out the door.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I’m getting old, and I need something
to rely on
Something was wrong. Okay well, they were in war. Something was always wrong. Especially with Spensa. But this time was different.
Ever since returning from the Nowhere, she’s been distant and quiet. It was off putting and really worrying.
She would have her arms wrapped around herself almost 24/7, she was skipping breakfast, barely ate, she was pushing herself more than usual, and sometimes it looked like she had been crying when she left her room. Not to mention the constant dark circles under her eyes.
The last time she had been like this was when her and Rodge were 15. He isn’t too sure what had happened. But all of a sudden she “couldn’t hang out because of personal reasons for a little while” or whatever that would say. Which was bull because they knew everything about each other.
What could have been that personal? Rodge later overheard their mothers talking and one of them had mentioned something about Spensa being suicidal. There was his answer.
Now here he was, worried again with a similar situation. Except this time, Spensa was harder to keep track of.
They were currently sitting in Spensa’s room eating lunch as she hadn’t gone to the mess hall. They were also shit talking a new girl on the engineering team Rodge was on.
“Mari is conceited as scud if she thinks she can do that.” Spensa said. “I haven’t seen her yet, but from what I’ve heard. She sounds like Jorgen back in flightschool.” She chuckled at the last part. Probably remembering how much they hated each other then.
“Yeah sort of,” Rodge replied. “But I’m not pulling a Spensa and almost breaking her nose.” He looked at Spensa with a dead stare.
“I was not even close to breaking his nose!”
“Mhm, sure.”
~~~~
As Rodge was getting ready to leave, he noticed Spensa had gone quiet. Seemingly dropping her mask a little.
His hand was on the door handle when he asked, “Are you okay?”
Spensa looked up from the floor, “What?”
“I asked, are you okay?” He repeated. “Because I know you aren’t.” She didn’t respond so he continued. “You can tell me anything, you’ve helped me through so much. Let me help you.”
There was silence for a moment before Spensa whispered, “I will, I promise.” She offered him a small smile and with that, he left.
He wasn’t too confident that she was telling the truth. And he got it confirmed when learning she was planning to die in the final battle or do it herself if Detritus won and she still survived.
So tell me when you’re gonna let
me in
I’m getting tired, and I need
somewhere to begin
“You owe me.”
“…what?” Rodge asked.
“You. Owe. Me.” Spensa said again. “I got you an amazing girlfriend and I saved the world.” She had this smug smile on her face, he could tell by her voice.
The two 18 year olds were lying on the ground of Detritus, staring up the stars. The post-war world had been busy, peace was not actual peace in politics and not to mention; all of Skyward flight had been the forefront of the end of the war. Especially Spensa.
“I don’t owe you scud.” Rodge told her with a smile. “You barely played a part in me getting a girlfriend. You owe me so much more.”
“I do not!” Rodge turned his head to look at her. “Ugh okay fine. What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing, I’m too much a wuss to do anything.” It was his turn to be smug now.
“Rig, that was years ago!” Spensa flew her hands into the air. “Years ago! And you’re still bringing up the fact I said that.”
“And I always will.”
“Rude.”
“You also owe me for being your therapist.”
“I do not need a therapist!”
“What multiverse is this? Spensa Nightshade not needing a therapist? Who would have thought!” Rodge was laughing at this point and Spensa was doing her best not to smile alongside him.
After a few minutes of silence, with the stars watching overhead. Spensa finally found the courage to speak up.
“Thank you for always being here with me.” She whispered, clearly hesitant.
“You’re my best friend,” Rodge told her. “You always will be. And it’s what best friends do.”
Blood is always family. But not all family is blood. Spensa and Rodge had no idea what the future of Detritus held. But standing with all their friends, they knew they had each other.
And if you have a minute, why
don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only
we know?
This could be the end of everything
So, why don’t we go somewhere
only we know?