Chapter Text
It's at the worst possible time that Jonathan proposes, he is down on one knee, covered in sweat and blood holding open the cassette from which he holds up the shiny ring.
Nancy is shaking, too much has happened. Dustin and Steve are trying to get to the cemetery to join Hopper and El, they stayed behind to kill the Demo and now that it's done Jonathan is looking like a lost kitten in the red lightning strikes.
“I–” Nancy holds back, she brings a hand to her mouth and she turns her back from him, “Jonathan.” she says, shutting her eyes closed as she tries to breathe. She just shot a Demogorgon and he just sliced it up and she is supposed to be okay with the fact he is asking to marry her right now.
“Nancy, say something. I know it's bad timing but I love you and I need you to know in case– well–”
“No!” Nancy turns around to face him, Jonathan was reaching to place a comforting hand on her shoulder but he steps back seeing the anger and fear settling on her face.
“You can't just ignore me and suddenly make me feel like that. You can't give more attention to Steve and then think that I will say yes to this. I will die before I let either of you two idiots ruin my life when it's already falling apart.” Nancy is crying and she is not crying because Jonathan looks heart broken but because she let him make her feel so miserable for so long.
“I'm done. I'm sorry but we have to go! We'll talk about this later alright but it's not happening Jonathan.” Nancy finishes the discussion, Jonathan gets up, defeated.
***
After finding Hopper, Eleven – and her sister – Steve and Dustin they make their way out of the Upside Down. They go through the only open gate and they can't believe their eyes. Everything is burning, everyone is dead–
Every soldier is dead. But the Demos are too. Eleven looks at Kali but they haven't done this. They all run to find answers, towards the sounds of people arguing.
Mike is holding Will in his lap and Joyce is on her knees in front of Will. Dipshit Derek and some other kids are hiding a bit further away, breathless. Joyce looks up straight at Hopper, “Joyce. What in the world happened here?” He shouts, Eleven runs to Mike and Will, followed by her long lost sister.
Nancy looks over at Jonathan who is– Jonathan is smiling? Yes. He is. She frowns, then looks in the direction of what he's smiling at but he's looking at Mike, Will and Joyce.
Nancy focuses on the scene, Mike is…
Mike is running his hand through Will's hair.
Then it clicks, Nancy blinks, how could she have not noticed? How could she for all these years have never noticed? Something breaks inside of her.
Neither Steve or Jonathan will ever love her the way she wants to be loved. Everyone is talking amongst each other, Eleven is trying to check on Will who looks like he just died and came back to life. Hopper is arguing with Joyce who is explaining in unnecessary details what just happened. So Will tapped into Vecna's mind and accessed his powers which saved everyone from being killed by Demogorgons. Nothing makes sense.
Robin.
Robin.
Robin.
“Where is Robin?” Nancy finds herself asking out loud, she was with them but she's not here. Steve looks at her, Dustin too. Soon everyone is silent and they're all looking at her.
“She was with Murray.” Will answers, “I killed them all Nancy, she's fine. The kids are too, Lucas is safe, I did it.” Will looks up proudly at Mike who is smiling down at him.
“Are you sure? I mean, are you sure they're all fine, how do you know?” Suddenly Nancy is overwhelmed with the fear of losing her only friend and flashbacks of Barbara come crashing down on her.
But she isn't listening to Will, she's already running past all of them. Nothing matters, Jonathan cares but he can't love her right and she doesn't love him enough. She tried, for the longest time she thought he would come around, that he would make her feel loved. Steve's incessant flirting and ridiculous attempts at gaining her back may have been entirely obnoxious, it made her at least feel important. But now seeing Mike holding Will with such love carelessly she wonders if she hasn't been searching for answers in the wrong place.
She thinks back about high school and everything that happened and almost all her memories are of Barbara. It's not fair that she is still mourning when she is at fault for her death. Now she knows she can't ever let it happen again. She won't let that annoying and loud and sickening girl die alone like Barbara. Robin deserves more than that. So, she is going to get the last slice of Erica's pie and she'll give it to Robin one way or another and she'll have Murray drive her to a far away town. Robin and Steve don't belong here, although Steve somehow does: he has his children. Dustin can't be left alone, not now. But Robin has no ties to them, she is Steve's weird friend who never shuts up and sure she has seemingly become friends with everyone in a way. Once you're in it, you can't escape it. But Nancy can save someone, she can't risk it now, she won't.
***
She asks Steve to steal the nearest military truck and drive her to where Robin and Murray were headed. It takes far too long and she begins losing her temper. But at least she is glad Jonathan stayed behind to stay with his brother and the rest of the team to go over the details of what happens next.
“Can't you drive faster?” She asks, switching the radio stations nervously trying to land on any news broadcast to make sure the rest of the military isn't on their tail.
“I would if I knew where we were headed.” Steve replies, “So what the hell happened with Jonathan earlier? He looks like you've just pinched both his nipples–”
“Shut up! Steve. I didn’t ask you to come so you could rub this in my face! I just needed you to help me with something.” Nancy admits but she can't look at him because she knows she hurt his feelings. But she doesn't have time to care for Steve's feelings right now.
“We need to get Robin and Murray out of Hawkins.” She says after long minutes of silent driving. Nancy looks up at Steve who looks extremely confused.
“And why would we do that, mmhm?” He asks, pressing his lips into a thin line.
“Because– Because I lost Barb. I lost her because I didn't know what was happening. But now I know and I can't let Robin die for nothing. She isn't connected to this, she doesn't deserve to die for our cause.”
“Oh… But I do? Okay. Alright I get it.” Steve looks like he's either about to cry or throw a tantrum.
“No I didn't mean–”
“I know exactly what you mean. You feel bad, you feel bad because you just told Jonathan to fuck off and you're using me to fulfill your dream of saving Barb. Barb who died God knows how long ago that was. But Robin isn't Barbara and you would know if you actually cared about her–”
“You don't know the first thing about how I feel Steve! You never have! That's why I couldn't love you, you don’t listen.” Nancy is screaming now and she hates herself for purposely hurting him but she needs to focus on the road.
The silhouette of the white truck appears in the deep night, at first she doesn't think that it's the right one because it looks like a car accident but then she remembers Will saying he stopped the Demogorgons from killing all their friends. Steve stops the car when they're close enough. Only now is Nancy realising she doesn't have a clue how she's going to handle this situation.