Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Doug?” Buck said in confusion when he opened his motel room door. He was in Virginia Beach, wanting to see the ocean to try and think over why Maddie would agree to run away with him but then ditch him. “Uh, what- what are you-”

“Shut up.” Doug said angrily, shoving him back into the room and slamming the door behind, latching it shut before advancing on him and only stopping when Buck backed into the wall. “You don’t get to speak. I don’t know where you got the balls to talk to your sister when she cut you out years ago, but I’m here to correct that. You don’t speak to Maddie, and you sure as hell don’t approach her while she’s at work. Is that clear?”

“I was in an accident.” Buck’s voice cracked. “I was in the ER because of an accident.”

“No, you were seen at another ER for your accident, you came to my hospital to talk to your sister, my wife.” Doug snarled, stepping closer. Buck may have been the same height, but he felt hilariously out matched. He was only 18 and Doug was already 30. “Did I not make it clear to you, almost nine years ago, that your sister is mine now?”

“She’s not an object.” Buck argued, jumping when Doug slapped his hand on the wall by his face. “Sh- she’s not a po- possession.”

“She’s mine.” Doug growled. “You clearly need a reminder.”

“Ho- how did you f- find me?” Buck asked, swallowing thickly.

“It’s almost cute that neither you or Maddie thought I would have a tracker in her car.” Doug grinned wickedly. “I gave her a reminder about why she shouldn’t cross me. Now I’m here to give you one.”

“Wh-” Buck grunted from the fist that was punched into his stomach, dropping him to his knees. 

He grabbed Buck by his hair and pulled him, stumbling, to his feet and shoved him face first into the wall. He twisted Buck’s bad arm, the one that had been hurt the most in his accident, that he’d only just taken the sling off of, behind his back, making him scream in pain. Buck’s face was smashed into the wall, and he could taste blood from his lips being cut by his teeth. His shoulder made a loud popping noise and Doug pulled him back and threw him on the floor between the wall and the door. He’s not proud that he tried to crawl away, but he had to. He had to try to get away. Doug caught him by the leg easily and dragged him further from it, pulling a whimper from Buck. He rolled over and kicked Doug in the knee causing the man to shout in pain himself and let go of Buck’s leg. So Buck scrambled to try to get to the door again, but he’d only gotten to his knees (it wasn’t easy to get off the ground using only one arm) when Doug punched him in the face, hard. He didn’t stop with one punch, either. He hit him a few more times, making sure Buck was seeing stars before he was sitting on Buck and strangling him. 

There was a banging on the door, or at least he was pretty sure he heard something, maybe shouting, but it was hard to tell with the oxygen being cut off so firmly. The noise might have just been the blood rushing in his head. He reached up weakly, and found the fatty underside of Doug’s arm and pinched and twisted as hard as he could until the man shouted and let go of his neck, long enough that Buck could twist so Doug didn’t have a clear shot to strangle him again. He managed to get back to his knees somehow, but then Doug was there, wrapping an arm around his neck again and pulling him stumbling to his feet, making sure to use his other arm so it was by Buck’s dislocated shoulder. Buck was feeling close to passing out again, and he knew if he didn’t do something he was probably going to die in this random motel room in Virginia Beach, at 18 years old. He used the last of his strength to propel him and Doug back through the window, crashing them both to the ground in a shower of glass. 

When hands were on him again, he whimpered and tried to shove them away before he realized it wasn’t Doug’s voice, but a woman’s. He blinked his eyes open and found a woman that looked the same age as his parents. He vaguely remembered her from the back office when he checked into his room, but she had a phone to her ear and Buck couldn’t make out what she was saying. He turned his head and found another couple of guys pulling Doug further away from Buck. Doug wasn’t moving. But that might be difficult to do with at least a five inch piece of glass through the neck and the amount of blood he was losing. 

“You’re ok now, honey.” The woman said gently. “We tried getting in the door when we heard the fight, but it was latched. Thank god you thought of the window.”

“Wasn’t-” Buck croaked, swallowing to try and speak, “thinking. Just- survive-”

“Ok.” She said gently, putting his hands over his stomach to keep him still. “Ok, don’t you worry. It’ll probably be hard to talk from the looks of the bruising around your neck. Can you tell me if or how you know him, though?”

“Brother- in- law.” Buck choked out, coughing as the words scratched his sore throat. “Said- had- to- stay- away. From- m’sister.”

“Asshole.” She muttered, glaring at Doug’s body. “Over here!” She yelled, waving an arm and then there were more people there. “From what I understand that man was his brother-in-law, so you might check to see if his sister is ok or if she has any signs of anything, too. I didn’t get his name, but Carlos got the log from the office.”

“Evan Buckley.” A new voice said, definitely male. “He checked in yesterday, was set to check-out tomorrow. Eighteen years old, paid in cash. None of us told this man where he was, though, so he must have been watching for a while to figure out what room he was in.”

“Alright, kid, is that all correct?” Someone asked, shining a light in his eyes that made his head hurt. 

“Yeah.” Buck croaked, coughing some more. 

“Let’s get you to the hospital. You’ve got some bruising and scratches that look a few days old at least. What happened a few days ago?”

“On my bike. Ran over.” Buck croaked out. “Hershey. PA. ER.”

“Ok, kid. Got it. We’re gonna try to get you out of here without injuring you more, so hang on for me, ok? You’re gonna be fine.”

Buck nodded and grimaced or winced when he was put on a board and then a gurney before he was in an ambulance. There were a lot of lights from other emergency vehicles there, including police. Everything was a blur the rest of the day. He was in and out of consciousness while he was poked and prodded and his arm was reset. He was in the hospital for two days before police officers came by. They took his statement, which they said matched up with the statements from the hotel staff who’d tried to intervene. So that was good. They believed him, at least. Plus his injuries matched up with a pretty insane beating. 

He’d had to be sedated when he was told that his sister was coming down. He’d had an intense panic attack. He didn’t want her to see him or blame him for what happened, even if it wasn’t his fault. When he’d calmed down, they told him she was only coming to collect the car and claim Doug’s body, essentially; verify his identity. They wouldn’t tell her where Buck was if he didn’t want her to know, which he didn’t. Since he was legally an adult they didn’t have to notify his parents, either, which he definitely didn’t want. He healed up for a few more days, doing some physical therapy before he was released with copies of the exercises he would need to do so he could keep full range of motion in his shoulder. Which he wanted to maintain. Or rebuild. Whatever. 

He was still in a sling, and had to wear it for a few more weeks, just to make sure he didn’t stress the muscles too much while they were healing. He went back to the hotel and the woman behind the desk, Gladys, asked if she could hug him, which he found odd, but he really wanted a hug, so he nodded. She had a really nice hug. It was like those motherly hugs he always imagined as a younger kid. She had his things set behind the counter for him, which was nice too. It was just a single duffle bag, but it was all he needed. He had enough money he could get a bus to somewhere, or even take a train if he wanted. 

Gladys had him sit and have some soup for lunch with her as she helped him look for different routes to take and where he might want to go. He honestly wanted to go as far from the east coast as he could, so they found a train that went to El Paso and from there he could get a bus through Mexico, if he wanted. Which he did. She helped him book the tickets and then Carlos was there, and also wanted to give him a hug, Buck only smiled bashfully and nodded. Carlos’ hug was something similar to those he got from the guys on his high school football team. Bery brotherly. When he saw where Buck was going, he gave him some numbers of some family he had in Mexico so Buck would have somewhere to stay that was safer than a random motel because ‘pretty white boys traveling alone’, in his words, were easy targets for traffickers and other gang types. 

So Buck took off after trading numbers with Gladys and Carlos so they could check in with him now and then. The train to El Paso wasn’t so bad. He was enjoying the scenery and chatting with people near him every now and then once they got past staring at his appearance. When he got off the train, he wrinkled his nose at the heat. It wasn’t the same type of heat he was used to, but he was trying to find something new. Something different. He managed to get something to eat from a food truck before finding his bus and hopping on, storing his bag at his feet. He texted the number Carlos had given him, letting them know he was on his way through the border and would be there in a few hours. 

“What brings you to Mexico, amigo?” A man probably close to his parents’ age asked from across the aisle.

“Just … getting away.” Buck shrugged. “Someone helped me out of something, said his family would take me in for a little while. What about you?”

“Visiting family.” The guys grinned. “One of my sisters is in LA, while another sister and brother moved back to our parents’ hometown. Never liked driving, though. Easier to just take a bus.”

“Going alone?” Buck asked curiously.

“Aye. My wife is helping our daughter-in-law with our first grandson.” He pulled out a phone and showed Buck a picture of an adorable baby. “He was a surprise, both her and our son were only 19 when they found out they were expecting. They turned 20 just before Christopher was born, though.”

“He’s adorable.” Buck smiled. “I can only imagine how crazy it is having a newborn around. Little to no sleep, barely time to shower. Man, I’m hoping I have several more years before I have to worry about that.”

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen.” Buck shrugged. “Turn 19 next month, though.”

“Not much younger than my son.” The man smiled. “I’m Ramon.”

“Evan.” Buck reached over with his good hand and shook his. “Were you born in Mexico or in Texas?”

“Texas. First generation Mexican-American for my family.” The man said proudly. “Mama got her citizenship well before I was born, and it was nice staying near enough to the border we could charter a bus back and forth like this when we wanted to visit. How long will you be around?”

“Not sure.” Buck sighed. “Still don’t really know what I’m doing. Hoping to get a sign or something while I’m traveling.”

“I’m sure you will.” Ramon nodded encouragingly. “I’ve spent my whole life working the oil fields, but my daughters are still in high school and my son went and joined the Army.”

“That’s cool.” Buck nodded. “I thought about doing something like that for a while, just to see if I could do it, but I don’t think it’s for me. Besides, now I can improve my Spanish so I’m not one of the millions of Americans who barely know English.” Buck smiled as Ramon cracked up laughing. “Having two languages is better in the grand scheme of the US. And Spanish may as well be the secondary unofficial language with as many people know it. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get better and be able to work as a translator somewhere like LA when I’m done wandering. Always wanted to go there.”

“That’s not a bad plan.” Ramon nodded. “Just remember, Spanish may be primary in a lot of places, especially in Central America, but the further south you get, the more you get some Portuguese as well as local dialects.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Buck smiled. 

“So. No parents to worry about you wandering around the world?” Ramon asked curiously.

“I mean,” Buck frowned, looking down at his lap and biting his lip, “maybe? I doubt it, though. The last time I was home they just … yelled a lot. I’d been in an accident, was run over on my motorcycle, and they just started yelling as soon as I was home from the hospital. So I took off. They haven’t called or anything, so I guess they aren’t worried since that was weeks ago. I just … I felt like- like I was this annoying pet to them. Nothing I did was good enough, and they made sure to tell me repeatedly. I wanted to play football, they wanted me to be a doctor. I was happy as a mechanic, but they wanted me to focus more in school. No matter what I did, it was never good enough.”

“I’m sorry you went through that.” Ramon said gently, but he looked thoughtful.

“We just all want to make our parents proud, right? Only we have no idea how to do that and actually still live for ourselves, for the families we maybe have one day. We see what they do, and maybe we try to do the same thing, only we suck at it.” Buck smiled when Ramon snickered. “It’s hard living up to expectations that we try to decipher because no one tells us what they want for us. Even if it’s something simple.”

“Like what?”

“To be happy.” Buck smiled as Ramon looked at him in confusion. 

“Do … do your parents not want that for you?”

“I had a few friends that came over a time or two, friends who had parents that came to pretty much any and every school activity. They saw what I had and stopped complaining about their families around me. They invited me out more, knowing that I was … neglected at the least. My friends wanted me to be happy, but my parents forgot I lived with them a majority of the time I was there. So sometimes, with the right people, all they want is for their kids to be happy. To have a full, fun life. To make amazing memories of summers at the lake or beach or whatever. To have them remember those things instead of just disappointment or resentment. I had some memories like that with my sister before she left. But she’s almost ten years older than me. So after she moved out, I don’t really have any happy memories that I didn’t create myself. Summers working at the garage, probably learning the worst parts of Spanish I could, and summer training camp for football. I wish … I wish my parents had helped or contributed even with part of that. But maybe I have those memories because they chose not to care, right? Maybe by not caring what they thought, by doing what I wanted to do for me, I made the right choices? I dunno, not really. I’m seriously just winging everything right now.”

“You’re a very smart man for someone so young.” Ramon said with a smile. “Let me give you my number, si? You call if you end up back in the US and let me know where you are, I can see if there’s anything I can help with.”

“Sure.” Buck shrugged, pulling his phone out and passing it over. The man put his name in as Ramon Diaz, and Buck made him lean over and take a picture with him to save as his contact ID. Buck sent him a text with a copy of the picture. “So how is your daughter-in-law actually doing with everything? Having a new baby and a new husband who’s not really home?”

“Helena, my wife, said she seems fine.” Ramon made a sort of constipated face. 

“Right.” Buck nodded. “But neither of you really know because you’re both still pissed that your kid was more or less a teen dad.” 

“Something like that.” Ramon sighed. 

“I’ve known a lot of teen parents.” Buck said carefully. “Sometimes the families helped out, sometimes the kids left or ended up giving the babies up, unable to take care of them on their own without any support. I know I’d have probably quit school and worked full time if I’d had a girlfriend that I knocked up. But, do you remember what it was like to be a new parent? How equally terrifying and exciting everything was? Like, sure, you lost a shit load of sleep, but then this little person that you helped create would coo or gurgle or scrunch their face up as they wrapped their tiny fingers around yours and you felt like, for that moment, it was all worth it?”

“You describe it all very well.” Ramon grinned. “It has been a long time since my children were so small.”

“We grow up pretty quickly.” Buck nodded. “And before we know it, we’re out and on our own with no fucking clue what we’re doing, just that we’re doing what we can. I’m … not a good example. I just … you love your kids, right?” Ramon scowled at him. “I know, I’m a dick, it’s my default setting. But do they know? I know my parents don’t love me, never have. They made sure I understood that. And … I’m coming to terms with becoming an adult on my own, without any support. I think … I think your kids would appreciate you telling them, in whatever way it is you show you care. Whether it’s watching a sunset together, getting an ice cream, or, in the case with your son and daughter-in-law, maybe just helping them wash dishes without telling them they need to do better. From personal experience, and being close to their age, I can tell you they are doing everything they can not to fall apart in terror of everything that’s happening. I’m not telling you what to do, I’m not. I am probably the worst person in the world to offer any kind of advice that doesn’t involve running away from a problem.”

“You are saying we all handle stress differently.” Ramon said. “You are saying that the way I handled stress as a young man is not necessarily the same way my children will handle it. It is not the 70’s or 80’s anymore, after all.”

“God no.” Buck snorted laughing when Ramon huffed a small laugh.

“Aye. I know. You kids are growing up in a world that I watched explode in front of us. The internet, the military, it is all so different from when I was young. But your challenges are similar enough in the … emotional sense.”

“Emotions suck ass.” Buck grumbled, smiling sheepishly when Ramon burst out laughing. “I wish I could be even just a little less emotional. But I’ve never hidden how I felt; whether I was happy, sad, angry, or just thoughtful. It puts extra stress on your brain to try and moderate or hide it all. Just let it out, even if it means driving out in the desert in the middle of the night and screaming your lungs out. It’s cathartic.”

“You’re a good kid, Evan. I will try to consider what we’ve talked about.” When they reached their stop, they shook hands before Ramon pulled him in for a hug and told him to be safe. 

Buck found Carlos’ family waiting for him, checking him over before ushering him into their truck and taking him home to feed him, telling him he was too thin. Carlos video called and was able to see that he’d made it and helped give them some rough instructions for making sure he did his stretches and kept his range of motion in tact. Buck ended up working with them in their auto shop for a while, just getting used to being on his own. He eventually got tricked into helping the kids and some of the adults learn English. He also helped a few people study for their citizenship tests for the US since they were heading north to find work and just travel a little like he was doing. Sort of a ‘ships passing in the night’ or ‘strangers on a train’ thing where they were near each other long enough to share a little before moving on. 

He stayed in the area for about seven or eight months before deciding to move on. He’d used the pay he’d earned to buy an old jeep that he worked on in his off time. Explaining what the parts were in English and Spanish to help teach some of the kids who were curious about him. He didn’t like the idea of having a gun, but Carlos’ family had taught him how to use one along with a knife, just in case he got into some trouble again. So he always had a knife in his belt and the gun was tucked under the seat in case he needed it. He was really glad he had a passport, even if he’d only gotten it when some friends had wanted to go up to Canada for Spring Break. So he had Canadian stamps as well as several throughout Central America from driving around for most of a year after he left Carlos’ family. 

He texted with Ramon frequently, same with Carlos and Gladys, just letting them know updates of what he was doing and where he was. When Buck had stopped in Panama, Ramon had sent him an update saying that Christopher had been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. It was heartbreaking, but Buck was Buck. So he found as many resources as he could and emailed them to Ramon, including applications for the National Cerebral Palsy Foundation. 

“Hola.” Buck answered his phone without looking as he stood over a cliff that looked out across the Pacific Ocean. It was a breathtaking view. 

“Uh, hi. Sorry, please tell me you speak English?” A woman pleaded.

“Yeah, I do,” Buck chuckled. “Just been a while since I’ve had to. Who, uh, who are you?”

“Shit. I’m Shannon. Diaz. Ramon is my father-in-law. He gave me your number and said if I was feeling overwhelmed to call. I have no idea what he expects, but I’m seriously at my wits end.” She took a shuddery breath, sounding very close to tears. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear my problems-”

“Nah, I don’t mind.” Buck shrugged. “I’m Evan. Just so I’m officially introducing myself, too. Evan Buckley. As a distraction, I guess, did Ramon tell you how we met?”

“No.”

“Well, we were on the same bus when he was going to visit family in Mexico about … fuck, I think it was a year ago. Longer, actually. Something like that. I think he was worried that a kid that looked barely legal was going to another country. I was still pretty decently bruised up and had a sling on from my arm being dislocated. He told me a little about how he’d had his first grandkid.”

“God, that’s all they seem to care about!” Shannon exclaimed frustratedly. “They, well, maybe not Ramon, since he’s not around much, but Helena keeps pushing and telling me everything I’m obviously doing wrong and I’m doing it on my own since Eddie’s deployed and I’m just tired. I didn’t sign up to do this by myself.”

“Sounds fucked up.” Buck said bluntly, smiling when she laughed wetly. “Sorry you’re dealing with all that. How are you doing, though? Sounds like you’re hella stressed and that’s not gonna be good for you or Christopher. If you’re stressed, he’s gonna sense it and be stressed too. Kids pick up weird shit. Kinda like dogs pick up on anxiety.”

“It is a lot like that, yes.” She chuckled. “You sound like a kid, though. What are you doing in Mexico?”

“Mexico was a year ago.” Buck snorted. “I’m in Panama now. And I’m 20 years old. Met Ramon when I was 18. That puts you and Eddie around 22 or 23, if my math is right.”

“I turned 22 a few months ago.” She sniffled. “Eddie called, so that was nice for a minute. Fuck, hold on,” Buck heard her set the phone down as he heard a baby crying before it got closer to the phone, “I’m sorry, I should probably stop bothering you and-”

“Switch it to video.” Buck said easily, looking down at his phone and turning it to a video call. A pretty woman, who was obviously tired, and a chubby toddler came onto the screen. “Hi Christopher!” Buck said excitedly, unsurprised that the baby blinked at him and smiled a little. “Wanna see something really cool? I’m down by Panama, and the canal is going. Wanna see a cargo ship going out to sea?”

“I do.” Shannon said, kissing the little boy’s head as Buck held his phone up and turned to face the canal instead of the ocean and flipped the video around. 

“Right now there are four ships set to go through with a long ass line waiting on their turn. So the canal is pretty amazing to witness. A section opens up and fills with water and the ship sails through to the next section, while it fills, and then the barriers lower and raise back up once it’s past. Once they reach the end they slide into the ocean and take off for their next destination.”

“It looks so beautiful.” Shannon said, laughing when Christopher babbled something incomprehensible. 

“Sometimes, we need to treat ourselves like this incredible engineering feat. We need to take in what we can, the stress and frustration, let it fill us up and keep moving forward, one section at a time until the stress and frustration has melted away and all that we’re left with is joy and awe of being alive and getting to experience these incredible things. We can’t trap these feelings in separate boxes, hoping to get past them without issue, because that’s not how we process shit as human beings. Each section leaks into the next, just like the canal. We pick up extra things as we go too, like barnacles, and we also lose things as we go, like delivering a shipping container or 2,000. We can’t carry it all with us all the time, or it will weigh us down. I’m … working on losing some of my own baggage. Maybe I’ll find it further south, or maybe I’ll end up turning back around and hopping a flight to LA. Hard telling. I’m … I’m not ready to come back yet, though. I … can’t.”

“Can I ask what you’re running from?” Shannon asked carefully. 

“I … had an accident.” Buck said cautiously before sitting on the ground and watching the ships from that position. “I found out the college I was at was kicking me out, which was fair. I never really went to class and spent my tuition on fixing up my bike. But I got run over by someone backing out of their driveway too fast. I didn’t want to go home when I was discharged, so … I went to my sister. She was an ER nurse at another hospital. I hadn’t seen her in years because of her hu- husband.” Buck swallowed thickly.

“You didn’t like him?”

“He didn’t like me.” Buck shook his head even if Shannon couldn’t see him because he still had the camera pointed at the ships. “He isolated Maddie from everyone in her life. She wasn’t allowed to talk to me or our parents. She never left his side, not for anything.”

“Did- Evan, did he hurt your sister?”

“I don’t know.” Buck sniffled. “I asked her to run away with me, but she said she couldn’t. So I went home. Mom and dad screamed at me, told me I was basically a reckless idiot, even if the crash wasn’t my fault. But then Maddie’s jeep was there. She’d come to get me. She stopped a few blocks away and gave me her keys. And she said she’d run away with me. So I dropped her back off at home and went to pack up my dorm room. As well as I could, anyway, with my arm fucked up from the wreck. Except when I went to meet her at the hospital the next morning, another nurse just handed me a note she signed, saying she couldn’t come with me. I was upset and sad, and all kinds of things, so I drove off. Went to Virginia Beach. And then … then her husband f- found me. I don’t … I don’t really remember much of what happened other than I got my ass kicked, bad. I thought he was going to kill me. I think he would have. But I didn’t want to die, not yet. So I used the last of my strength to shove us through the window. A- a piece of glass got him, though. He nearly killed me and instead I killed him.” Buck wiped his face, hating that he was crying. Doug was a piece of shit, he shouldn’t be upset about it. “I was in the hospital for a week because he’d dislocated my shoulder and nearly crushed my vocal chords completely. Had to answer a lot of questions from the police, but the staff at the hotel vouched for me, saying he attacked me and showed surveillance of him barging into my room and then the staff trying to get in before we crashed through the window where he was obviously choking me.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that.” Shannon said, sounding choked up. “Where’d you go when you were released?”

“I went back to the hotel it happened at.” Buck shrugged. “The manager there, she kept my things for me and helped me figure out what to do next. Helped me find bus and train tickets. One of the other guys, his name is Carlos, hooked me up with his family in Mexico. I stayed with them for around seven months. Getting my strength and range of motion back and working in the auto shop, using my paycheck to buy this hunk of crap behind me.” He flipped the camera around again to show his rusted out jeep. “I helped some of them learn some basic English, but I needed to move on. So I drove south, keeping them updated as I found myself in another country or on another beach.”

“And you’re doing it alone like I am.” Shannon said softly. 

“Except you’re not alone.” Buck grinned. “You have your very own Superman with you. So, Ms. Lane, it’s important you remember this, ok? Superman was nothing without Lois Lane. Neither was Clark Kent. It might feel that way, it probably does, and it’s gonna fucking suck. But saving the world is a thankless job.”

“I’m not saving the world.” She snorted.

“Aren’t you?” Buck tilted his head. “Christopher doesn’t know anything different. You are his world. And he and Eddie are yours. Eddie’s doing what he’s doing because he … I don’t want to talk shit about Ramon, but he was gone for a lot of his kids growing up. So Eddie is emulating that, forgetting the important distinction that he is Eddie, not Ramon. He’ll figure it out, but you might have to beat him over the head with it.” Shannon laughed and Chris smiled and babbled at her happily. “See? Already better, even if it’s only for a minute. I get that things are hard. But I bet you that kid you're holding probably is going to have a better hour, at least, because you were happy. Who cares what anyone else thinks? If Helena wants to tell you to do better, remind her that she had Eddie to help her with her daughters. That for a little while, it was just her and Eddie. And it probably sucked for her during that time. And if she can’t accept it, get the fuck out of your house. She’s not paying for it.”

“It’s my dad’s old house.” Shannon snorted.

“Even better.” Buck scoffed. “Remind her that you were your own person before you married Eddie. Show her the other half that made Christopher the amazing little boy that he is. And if you tell Ramon I told you to say that, just warn me so I know what to expect when we talk next.”

“I can do that.” Shannon laughed again, Christopher laughing as well as he reached out and held his mom’s face, smiling like a lunatic at her. “Can’t we baby? Yes, we can. We’ll tell grandma to eat shit the next time she says I’m feeding you wrong or not loading the dishwasher the right way.” Christopher babbled something in response, but Shannon just smiled wider at him.

“Why don’t I let you both go enjoy this happy moment? And feel free to call again if you need reminding that Lois Lane was a bad ass before she was married to Clark Kent.”

“I will. And, Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you find what you’re looking for. Thank you.”

“Bye.” Buck waved as the call ended and he leaned against the jeep. “Well. Let’s move along.”

Getting into South America took forever because Buck was constantly wanting to stop and just marvel at the rainforest and everything there. He sent pictures and videos to everyone he could. He only really had maybe a dozen contacts saved in his phone, but they all were pretty adamant about wanting updates from him about how he was doing. So he joined expeditions to plant new trees, he went cliff diving, he learned how to work on a coffee farm, which was incredible. He didn’t stick out as much as he thought he might with his blonde hair. There were actually a lot of other blondes around, so he mixed in pretty well. Granted he was also over six feet tall. When he had a small accident with a machete, they measured him at six feet two inches in the medical office. He got several tattoos along his journey, too. Something to commemorate each place he stopped in. 

Brazil was absolutely incredible, even if he’d had to learn Portuguese. And Carnivale? Unparalleled fun. He went hang gliding, parasailing, surfing, all of it. Just marveling in the amazing world that existed. When he got a picture of Christopher with his new glasses and first set of crutches, Buck sent one of himself in front of the massive Jesus statue outside of Rio. Buck traveled to the west coast of South America when he was turning 23, wanting to see as much of the continent as he could. Almost as soon as he landed in Peru he was in an accident. And … it was bad. Worse than Doug, bad. His jeep had been knocked off the narrow road and landed on some rocks on its side. On the driver's side. He’d passed out as soon as the medics got to him, though. The next time he was really cognizant, he was in a hospital. 

Doctors came in and explained what happened as gently as they could, offering him resources to get back to traveling let alone walking again. It was all really hard to hear, but they were definitely right. There was no way he was going to be traveling around anytime soon. Not … not when he’d lost his left leg below the knee. When he was released, he pretty much just found the first place that would rent to him and got to work making his phone calls to tell everyone that he was going to be there longer than expected. There were a lot of tears all around. Ramon had threatened to fly down there and bring him back to at least El Paso, but Buck managed to talk him down to just visiting him in LA in about two years. He wanted to get better, physically, and then maybe come back and be close to people who cared because they knew him at least through a phone call or video call. 

When he got his crutches, he sent a video to Shannon of him learning how to use them along with his prosthetic, so she could show Chris. He was getting so big and he wanted to talk with ‘Eva’ since he was still working on sounds and names and just kept dropping the ‘n’. Shannon often set the phone up and let the boys work through PT together. Chris was a real pro with the crutches, for sure, so Buck wanted to get better to be able to be as steady on his own as Chris was. And then he was working again at another auto shop, along with working as a bartender part time at a resort nearby. He got a pretty awesome running blade when he was turning 24 because he missed running, and Chris was super excited about it. As excited as a pre-k kid could get, anyway, which was actually a lot.

When he would run in the mornings, some of the neighborhood kids would run with him and ask him a million questions that he would answer and then ask his own. He volunteered at the local shelter a lot of kids were at, spending time with them and keeping them happy and entertained while the social workers worked to find good homes for them. The other kids that had disabilities loved playing games with him because he was a lot like them, needing to modify the game so he could do it. He was surprised to get a phone call when he was getting close to turning 25, though. 

“I’m sorry.” Shannon said without letting him speak.

“For what?” Buck frowned. 

“I just- I le- left them.” Shannon gasped, sounding horrible. “I shouldn’t have, I know that, but I need to see my mom. I need to. And Eddie needs help. He wouldn’t listen to me, wouldn’t call the VA to set up counseling, just said he could handle it. But I need to see her.”

“She’s sick.” Buck frowned deeper. “Obviously you should go see her. But why didn’t you just take Eddie and Chris with you? I know you’ve been waiting for Eddie to get back, worried about how he’d be.”

“It’s bad.” Shannon sniffled. “He’s barely sleeping, and only if he’s on the couch. We’re fighting about everything. But Chris needs the stability that I built for them there. I think Ramon was going to talk to Eddie, I don’t even know. But my mom called, and it’s getting worse.”

“Hey, it’s going to be ok.” Buck said, looking around his apartment. “Look, my plan was to come back in the next year some time anyway, why don’t I change my plans? I’ll come up there and … try to help you figure things out. Maybe talk Eddie into following you.”

“He was talking about the fire department yesterday. Which … yeah, it could be great for him. But he’s still running into danger! He is putting himself in dangerous situations on purpose!”

“Take a breath, ok? Maybe pull over since it sounds like you’re driving, and just focus on me. I’ve got some money saved from working so much out here anyway. And I know a guy who said he’d hire me easily in LA. At the rate I drive, even if I left tomorrow, which, yeah, probably not gonna happen, especially since I don’t actually have a car currently, it’s gonna take me probably two weeks to get there. Why don’t I swing through El Paso and tell Eddie to pack his shit and bring him and Chris to LA? I know things are hard, but LA is gonna have a better VA system than freaking El Paso, Texas.”

“I really appreciate the offer,” Shannon snorted, sounding a little calmer, “you have no idea how much I do. You’ve … you’ve been my best friend these past few years, ya know? I am so grateful that you somehow ended up on a random bus to Mexico with Ramon Diaz, of all people, and you were able to be my friend, even if we’ve never met.”

“We’ll meet someday.” Buck said gently. “We will and you can call me a modern day pirate to my face.” Buck smiled when she laughed. “You, uh, you were the first person I told out loud, uh, what ha- happened to me; why I le- left.” 

“I was?”

“Yeah.” Buck nodded to himself. “I’m … not completely better, not yet. But I’m getting there.”

“Good.” Shannon sniffled again, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Ok. I, uh, I’m going to get to LA and call Eddie. Try to convince him to come out, too. Maybe even get some pamphlets or something for the fire department there. We can … if he won’t get help, if he won’t try to get better, we’re pretty much done for.”

“I’m sorry you’re going through that.” Buck sighed. “I guess … let me know when you make it? I’ll … I’ll figure something out and start heading back that direction before too much longer. It won’t be before my birthday, so let’s make a deal. Next year, on my birthday, we meet in person for the first time? You pick a coffee shop or something and I’ll meet you there. You’ll be 28 by then, so … so that’ll hopefully give you the time you need with your mom and for you and Eddie to figure something out to work for Christopher? We’ll celebrate your birthday and mine together. And if you bring Chris, we’ll celebrate his early?”

“I’d love that.” She said, sounding like she was smiling. “God, you have no idea how much I’d love to finally meet you in person. You’ve … you’ve pretty much saved my sanity since we started talking on the phone and over video. Ok. So in 15 months, we’ll meet. I will keep you updated on how my mom is doing and what Eddie ends up doing. And in 15 months we’ll meet and get to say hi in person.”

“Can’t wait. Drive safe, ok? And text me when you get in and tell your mom hi for me.” 

“I will. Thank you, Evan.”

“You’re welcome.” Buck smiled as he hung up, biting his lip and debating on calling or texting Ramon, but he’d probably hear from the man sooner or later if Shannon straight up left like she was making it sound like she did. Honestly, the idea of her leaving gave him an insane amount of guilt and anxiety, because the last time he’d talked to a woman about leaving her husband had been his sister. He knew Eddie wasn’t violent, though. Never had been. But it didn’t stop his anxiety. 

He’d been doing PT so much with Chris, that he’d kind of forgotten that Shannon had been the one to call him when they were at the office so they could do it together. Until the day of Chris’ normal appointment came and Ramon called. Buck smiled when he answered, though, waving as Ramon tried to figure out the camera with his phone super close to his face. 

“Hola, Papi.” Buck called, laughing when Ramon rolled his eyes. 

“This phone is impossible. I did not need an upgrade that is smarter than I am.” Ramon huffed. “I’m going to set it down so he can see you, hold on.” Buck snorted when Ramon turned the phone and leaned it against a chair until Chris was in view. 

“Eva!” Chris cheered, waving at him, Buck waving back just as enthusiastically. 

“Hey Superman!” Buck laughed as Chris’ face took up the whole screen. “You’ve gotten fast, kiddo!”

“Walking’s hard.” He whined. “But we’re gonna do it together.”

“It definitely is hard.” Buck nodded. “Alright, let’s get into it.”

They worked through the exercises together, the physical therapist staying out of Buck’s way since they knew Chris liked to see him doing the same thing as him. It wasn’t too bad, and it was obvious Chris had been working on his exercises, wanting to get stronger. When they were done, Ramon let Chris keep the phone and chatter away to him. Which meant Ramon was still dealing with Shannon leaving and potentially dealing with Eddie not really working through anything and didn’t want to talk about it yet. Which was … going to be rough if he just planned to bury it. Shannon hadn’t told Buck much, only what she knew. And that was that Eddie’s team was pinned down after their helicopter was taken out by an RPG and he’d been shot at least three times. Buck had been in therapy for the past two years because he still hadn’t dealt with what happened with Doug and then he was dealing with his leg. Not even mentioning what happened with his parents that made him leave to begin with. 

“Eva, my dad’s home!” Chris said excitedly as they reached the house and he rushed inside as much as he could.

“Oh yeah? You excited to spend time with him?” Buck asked curiously. “Hope he got you lots of ice cream.”

“Why does Chris have a phone?” A new voice called, sounding frustrated in a controlled way. 

“He is talking to a friend.” Ramon said gently. “I told you about Evan, remember?”

“Evan? The random kid you met on the bus six years ago?” 

“Si, the same. He does physical therapy with Christopher. Has for the past few years, especially after his accident.”

“I can’t believe you’re still in touch with him, let alone letting Christopher talk to some random kid!”

“Not a kid!” Buck called out, hoping to let them know he could hear them, which meant Chris could hear them. “Turning 25 soon, so not a kid. Not like the 18 year old that met Ramon. Currently in Peru, though. Been here for about two years already. Chris, weren’t you going to show me your new toy?”

“I’ll grab it and be right back.” Chris nodded to him. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t, Superman.” Buck snorted. Chris had set the phone somewhere and Buck was looking at the ceiling until a face appeared, looking down at him. “Jesus, you’re beautiful.” Buck slapped a hand over his mouth and groaned. “Oh my god, pretend I didn’t say that.”

“Were you talking about me?” 

“Beautiful and oblivious, got it.” Buck nodded to himself. “Cool. Uh, hello. I’m Evan. Evan Buckley. You, uh, must be Eddie.”

“Why does-” Eddie frowned before shaking his head with a fond smile, “he couldn’t say Evan, could he?”

“Not at first, no.” Buck shook his head. “He still says it mostly right, he just dropped the last letter. Was in the market for a nickname anyway, so Eva seemed as good as anything.”

“Not Buck?”

“Not in a while.” Buck shrugged. “My teammates in high school called me Bucky or Buck, one of the two. So feel free to call me Buck, if you think it fits me more.”

“I got it!” Chris said, crashing against the table. “I’m ok!”

“Slow down turbo.” Buck laughed. “Alright, show me what we got?”

Chris spent about half an hour telling him everything about his new fire engine toy that had actual lights and sirens you could run. So Buck watched and listened and even asked questions occasionally while Chris played and kept chattering away. When he yawned and kept yawning, he realized it was getting late and the kid needed to eat. 

“Hey buddy, why don’t you go have dinner and we’ll talk again sometime, ok?” Buck asked after the fifth yawn. 

“Can, Eva, when can we actually see you?” Chris asked sadly. “It’s always just on the phone.”

“I know buddy. I know, and I know it sucks.” Buck smiled when Chris giggled. “But I think I’m … I’m gonna come back. To the US. I’ve been gone for six years already, so I think I’m ready to come back. Maybe. I’m gonna work on some planning over the next year and see what I can figure out. Flights, a place to stay, all that. And I sorta made plans with someone for my birthday next year. So I’ll make sure to save time to get to see you, too. As long as dad’s ok with it.”

“Dad! Eva’s gonna come back next year! Can we have a playdate?” Chris yelled excitedly. 

“How about we figure that out when it’s closer to him being back, ok? Go wash your hands for dinner.” Eddie said, leaning down and kissing the top of Chris’ head. 

“Ok. By Eva! Love you!” Chris blew him a kiss and disappeared before Eddie was there. 

“Pretty sure you’re never gonna be Evan again.” Eddie chuckled.

“There are worse things to be called.” Buck snorted. “Never really liked my name anyway. Too many negative connotations. It, uh, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I’d say you too, but I honestly thought Eva was a girl or something. I did not realize the ‘Evan’ my dad met on his trip to Mexico and Chris’ ‘Eva’ were the same person. Gonna take some … rethinking now that I see who you are.”

“Yeah?” Buck asked with an arched eyebrow. “We don’t know each other, not yet, but we will. And I will probably become Buck instead of Eva in your house. Look, just to put it out there, yeah, I’m a guy, yeah, I talked to Shannon a lot while you were away, and I obviously talked to Chris a lot, but I’m just a friend. A rando that offered a listening ear to someone who needed a friend to deal with a lot of conflicting emotions. And as … as someone who has had a few near death experiences themselves to another,” Buck saw Eddie’s eyes widen, “it doesn’t get easier if you just pretend it didn’t happen. I should have gotten help six years ago rather than running away. But I didn’t. Instead I ran. And I’ve … I’ve been more or less running ever since. Running can help, to a degree. So just … don’t do what I did the first time someone tried to kill me and bury it down.”

“I have so many more questions.” Eddie wiped a hand over his face. 

“Your dad has my number. Call any time. I keep a weird schedule, so if I don’t answer it’s because I’m behind the bar or under a car. One of the two. But I’ll call back when I’m free. You’ve … you’ve got a really amazing kid, Eddie. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll talk again. If not, I’ll bitch your dad out for not giving you my number.” Buck smiled when Eddie laughed, quickly covering it so he didn’t disturb something. 

“See ya around, I guess, Buck.” Eddie said, still chuckling. 

“See ya, Eddie.” Buck hung up and let out a slow breath. Man, maybe he should go to college again and get a psychology degree. As often as people kept calling him for advice or random blabbing, he might as well have something to show for it. 

The next few months were busy with work since it was a good tourist season, and Shannon kept him updated with her mom, even when she passed away, and Eddie started texting him about him or Christopher. Eddie had decided that he would go to LA, with Chris, to see Shannon and look at the fire academy there so they could at least both try to take care of Chris like he needed, together. Neither one of them was sure about continuing their relationship, but neither of them was voicing that to the other, only to Buck. So after months of being caught in the middle, Buck called both of them. 

“Alright, listen,” Buck said when they both answered, looking surprised, “we’re gonna hash this shit out, because you two aren’t fucking talking to each other. Shannon, you don’t want to leave LA because you like the life you’ve created, cool. Amazing, even. Eddie, you are getting ready to move to LA to start the fire academy and do some really cool shit. That being said, you both want these things as well as being able to parent Christopher. So I’m gonna let you in on a secret; people get divorced and raise their kids with their exes amicably all the time. No, a majority of religions don’t like divorce, but they also don’t like premarital sex. You can’t pick and choose which parts of your religion matter. Let Helena and Ramon be pissed you split. It’s not their relationship, it’s yours. Get back to being friends, like you were before Chris came along. Go to counseling together, virtual or in person, whatever. But you two need to talk and figure this out. As a team. Quit fucking putting me in the middle.”

“Was he this bossy when he talked to you while I was gone?” Eddie asked, arms crossed.

“You have no idea.” Shannon snorted, before they were both laughing. “Ok. Um. Right. I love you and Christopher, Eddie. I do. But I think … I think this separation has been what we needed. I’d consider therapy if you can do it and take it seriously.”

“I can try.” Eddie scowled, shifting his shoulders. “It’s not really my thing.”

“I had some when I got to LA. And I’m really glad I was already in it when my mom passed away. Otherwise I’d be a complete mess. Neither of us grew up thinking of divorce as an option. And we rarely saw anyone who went through it and came out unscathed. I think, with mediation, we can figure out a solid plan between us. And Evan will be back before too long, so we can even use him as a babysitter. We may just both lose our son to him anyway.”

“It’s always ‘Eva this’ or ‘Eva that’, I swear.” Eddie shook his head, but he was smiling, so Buck didn’t frown too much. “We’re supposed to be there this weekend. Let’s … let me get the house set up that Pepa got arranged for me, and we’ll meet and figure things out between us to see if we can talk without a mediator first.”

“Eddie, we’ve each been without a partner for a while now.” Shannon said with a sigh. “If we meet up without a mediator, we will inevitably end up in bed together. Which is how this whole mess started. That was the only thing we could do right together, consistently. The only way to prevent that is with a mediator or even Christopher present.”

“Mediator it is.” Eddie sighed. “We’re … really bad at this shit.”

“So bad.” Shannon laughed. 

“Oh nice!” Buck stood up quickly, looking out over his balcony. “Fuck yeah, there’s a bloom right off the coast! You guys gotta see this!” Buck flipped his camera around. “A bloom is a massive group of jellyfish. They make the water look like a stormcloud under the surface, sometimes reflecting different colors so it looks purple or green.”

“Nice topic change.” Eddie laughed. “But that is seriously cool, Buck. You sure you’re ready to give that up?”

“LA’s got a beach and ocean views, too.” Buck shrugged, turning the camera back around. “Probably nothing close to my price point let alone accessible, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Why do you need accessible?” Eddie asked, frowning. 

“Do- wait. We talked about me having an accident, but not what happened. Right.” Buck nodded to himself. “Ok so, obviously I’m ridiculously handsome and fit,” Buck smiled as they both laughed or rolled their eyes as he set his phone down on the table and backed up so his full body was in view, “but I’m also a pirate. When I got to Peru I was in a super shitty car accident and woke up an appendage down. I’ve got crutches like Chris, and if I’m gonna be at home, I’m gonna use them instead of my leg. I mean, I can do a few steps with my prosthetic, but they’re still annoying.”

“You … you lost your leg.” Eddie said intelligently. Buck shifted his shorts up a bit, not that he needed to since he was wearing his running shorts and they were already pretty short, and moved closer to show his scarring that was fairly well hidden in the sleeve.

“They did a good job.” Buck said, pointing out the smaller scars around his thigh. “So when Chris was doing his physical therapy we did it together because I had to … well. I had to relearn a lot of shit, basically. I was learning how to walk with a prosthetic and crutches and he was learning more about his crutches at the same time. So it worked out for us. He was pretty happy to have someone going through it with him, so I can’t be too upset about it. Plus, it was two years ago now.” Buck shrugged and picked his phone back up. “I’ve had a shit load of therapy, like I said, so it doesn’t bother me. Actually, I was pretty thankful for the paramedics and firefighters that got me out of my crushed car. So … so I’m weirdly supportive of people going into that field. As someone who has relied on paramedics, more than once, to save my life, I, uh, anyway.”

“I went to war and walked away with a few scars, but I still have all my limbs.” Eddie said, looking conflicted. “And here you are, acting like it was just something that happened. Like you didn’t almost die.”

“I did almost die.” Buck argued. “Twice. Once when I was 18, and once when I was 23.”

“Eighteen?!” Eddie exclaimed in shock. Shannon gave him an encouraging nod, though, so that was something. 

“My, uh, my sister’s husband didn’t like me.” Buck shrugged. “And she gave me her car so I could run away from home. But … we didn’t know he’d low-jacked it. He showed up to emphasize that I was never going to see my sister again, but … he took it pretty far. My voice gets all weird sometimes because my vocal chords were nearly crushed when he tried strangling me. But, uh, he was killed when I sort of threw us through a window to try and get away. Piece of glass right in his neck. Anyway. That’s my tragic backstory and why I ran away to Mexico when I was just shy of 19 and met Ramon Diaz.”

“Shannon, can, uh … can you,” Eddie took a deep breath and buried his face in his hand, trying to get through something, “the VA?”

“I’ll talk to some people and get some references for you to check out when you get here.” Shannon agreed easily, already knowing what Eddie was trying to say without saying it. 

“How- Buck- seriously, how are you still so …” Eddie gestured frantically, but Buck only smiled. 

“Still so awesome?” Buck asked, smiling wider when Eddie snorted before his shoulders shook as he laughed, Shannon was grinning too. “Two solid years of therapy, fresh ocean air, a ton of crap, really. I’ve planted trees in the rainforest, worked in coffee fields, went hang gliding over Rio, and before that I worked on the docks in Panama for a couple weeks since they needed a heavy equipment operator and mechanic. I’ve been a mechanic, unofficial English teacher and study guide for people planning to get their citizenship when they went to the US; bartender, even a caregiver for a few shelters for kids waiting on homes, or who were domestic abuse survivors. I’ve … had a wild life since leaving home, man. We can talk about it in person when I get to LA, though. I’ve got a coffee date to keep.”

“You sure as hell do.” Shannon agreed. “You can meet Eddie and Christopher later, after we’ve met.”

“Alright, I’ll let you guys go since you’re being nice and not snapping at each other, which I was about 70 percent positive we could do.” Buck smiled when they laughed again. “Call or text if you guys need anything.”

“Bye, Evan.” “See ya, Buck.” They both waved as Buck ended the call, letting out a breath. 

“That went well.” Buck nodded to himself. 

He was planning to be back about a week before meeting Shannon, so he still had plenty of time. Both Eddie and Shannon kept him updated about how mediation was going and how excited Chris was to be in LA. Ramon was upset that Eddie had left, but he also seemed to understand more than his wife did. Buck didn’t have anything encouraging to say to that, which Ramon got and always rolled his eyes at. Carlos and Gladys were both happy to hear Buck was ready to come back, wanting to plan their own trip to LA to visit him once he was settled. 

The time he had left he spent visiting the shelter kids as often as possible and cutting down his time at the bar before he was done with his final shift three months before he was leaving. The auto shop he worked at threw him a going away party, telling him how much they’d miss him, which was really an epic night. Buck wore shorts and a hoodie when he was going to the airport finally. He’d never actually gone through one before. So the fact that the past several months had sort of flown by distracted him from any anxiety he might have until he was waiting to go through security. He gave the security guy an apologetic shrug when he looked at Buck’s obviously metal leg. 

He still got through ok, regardless of the slight discomfort from everyone having to scan him. They were definitely more uncomfortable than he was. Especially when he offered to take it off and hop through. One person had laughed, so that was something. Buck had fist-bumped him. He’d gotten a seat he could stretch out in, because even with one leg, he was still really tall. He had a few books that he read and even took a nap since the flight was insanely long. He’d had to massage his thigh before he could stand, the pressure having made it ache more than he’d expected. It was honestly surreal to get into the terminal in LA and see everything in English again. It had been seven years, basically, since he’d been around it. He was from the US but he felt like a tourist in his own birth country. 

He checked in the hotel he’d booked and made sure the appointments for apartments were still on his phone so he knew where he was going the next day. Once that was done, he was exhausted. He took a quick shower and sent a text off to everyone to let them know he was sleeping on an American bed again. The realtors he met with all looked confused when he asked about the accessibility before they showed him anything. One woman actually laughed and said a strong young guy like him shouldn’t be worried about that. It was his own fault for choosing jeans, he supposed, because he’d had to lift his pant leg up and show her the prosthetic, which had her looking mortified for her initial reaction. Buck definitely wasn’t going to rent from someone who made assumptions so fast. When someone showed him an apartment that was accessible and in a very affluent Spanish neighborhood, Buck was sold. The guy that showed him the place even spoke Spanish with him, apparently realizing Buck wasn’t a random white kid looking for something in a place he had no business being. Buck told him he was just coming in from South America, and the guy was glad he could help him out.

Buck and Shannon had been texting the morning they were set to meet. They were both very excited, too. Buck wore jeans and a somewhat nice short-sleeved button up and made sure his hair was behaving before heading out. He was going to look for a car eventually, but not yet. He’d only just gotten his apartment and got furniture delivered, so he was trying to do just one thing at a time. When he got to the coffee shop, he recognized her immediately. He smiled as she looked over and saw him, too. She put her hands on her mouth, tears gathering in her eyes, and even Buck felt his get watery. 

“Evan.” She rasped, rushing over to him and throwing her arms around him.

“Hey, Shannon.” Buck said, hugging her tightly. “Oh my god, it’s so incredible to meet you finally.”

“Hi.” She sniffled against his chest. “Holy crap, you’re even taller in person than I imagined.”

“Yeah, I’m kinda tall.” Buck laughed, rubbing a hand over her back as she laughed a little. 

“Reunion?” Someone asked, looking between them curiously.

“First meeting.” Buck chuckled. “Been phone friends for over five years.”

“Cool. Cool. You mind, uh, moving with the line?” 

“Shit, sorry.” Buck laughed, finally letting go enough to just wrap an arm over Shannon’s shoulders while she hugged his waist and they stepped forward with the line of people that had moved without them realizing it. They ordered coffee and sat down at a table outside, just looking at each other. “Bit weird without a screen.”

“A little bit.” Shannon laughed. “But in a good way. Your eyes are more blue in person.”

“You’re prettier in person, too.” Buck grinned when she snorted, shaking her head. “I gotta tell you, traveling through an airport was a whole new experience for me.”

“Good or bad?” 

“Just different.” Buck shrugged. “I, uh, I offered to take my leg off and hop through security so they wouldn’t have to offend me. One guy laughed while the others looked incredibly uncomfortable. I got to load first since I’m a pirate and all, so that was nice. The weirdest thing was deboarding and seeing, just, so many signs in English. Yeah there were some in Spanish and some announcements looped in different languages, so that was nice. But yeah. Weird.”

“I bet that’s gonna be the biggest adjustment you have to make.” Shannon chuckled. “How’s the new place and when can I see it?”

“Was thinking of inviting you guys over next weekend or something. Give me time this weekend to check out the hiking trails and see what the city has to offer while I stock up on groceries and shit. Maybe call my friend and see if they need a mechanic or just see what I can figure out. Maybe just join the fire academy myself and be a firefighting pirate.”

“Or paramedic.” Shannon shrugged. “I bet you could do it, but I also am not sure how you’d do on the shifts they work, not having the time off to wander and explore.”

“Yeah, that part would suck.” Buck sighed. “I could always get an actual certification to teach for citizenship shit. I dunno. I’ll try as a mechanic for a little while, see where that gets me while I try to figure out what I want to do. I know my buddy will hire me in a heartbeat.”

“Probably a good idea to wait.” Shannon agreed. “Give yourself time to adjust to being back in the northern hemisphere and all. So. Where are you on the dating scene? Eddie and I got the divorce taken care of, finalized about four months ago, which you know, but I honestly have no idea where to start.”

“Fuck, man.” Buck blew out a breath and Shannon smiled. “I haven’t dated since … since high school, kinda like you guys. And even then it was just a few dates here and there. I slept with people pretty much everywhere I went, but those were always with the understanding that it was a one night thing. The last time for that was before my accident, so three years ago. I haven’t even thought about dating while trying to work my shit out.”

“I can believe that. Well, maybe the three of us can get out together or hit up some speed dating or something where you and Eddie inevitably leave me to do shots at the bar together and I eventually join you because everyone is so pretentious.” Buck laughed as Shannon shrugged, sipping her coffee. “It’s true. So what do you need, or what all do you have, for your apartment? Clothing or furniture?”

“All of my clothes can fit into a single duffel bag.” Buck snorted. “Hazard of learning how to live with what I can carry. I got some furniture delivered yesterday, and it seems ok. I honestly expect everyone visiting me will tell me if it sucks or not since I don’t … it’s not that I don’t use furniture, it’s more that I usually pace around the kitchen and dining room areas when I eat. And I can maybe sit still for five minutes if the tv is on. Then I need to do something. So I’ll work out or clean while it plays and come back a few hours later and have that screen up asking me if I’m still watching. I can’t tell you the last time I sat through a movie or even one episode of a tv show. I’ll use the bed, obviously, gotta sleep some time.”

“Alright.” Shannon laughed. “Alright, we’ll come over next weekend and test it out. And by ‘we’ I mean Christopher will test it out.”

“I’m so excited to meet him.” Buck smiled. “God, I just- I can barely believe I’m actually getting to meet all of you.”

“And we’re all excited to meet you. As much as Ramon talked about you, you’d think you were his son.” Shannon added.

“I guess.” Buck shrugged. “Still have a severely skewed perspective on what a parent is meant to do with their kids as far as talking about them.”

“How long has it been?”

“Never got any calls.” Buck sighed. “Seven years and not a word from them. I don’t even know anything about my sister either. I asked the doctors in Virginia Beach not to let her see me. I didn’t … I didn’t want her to blame me or be angry or anything. And if she was just sad, I don’t think I could have handled that any better. I kept pulling her contact up over the years, wanting to call her and tell her about a million different things. I did call but the number was disconnected. So … I don’t know. As far as I know, the only family I have is you guys. Which I’m not disappointed about, just to be clear.”

“I know you’re not.” Shannon smiled at him and patted his hand over the table. “We’re happy to be your family. Pepa and Isabel are very excited to meet you.”

“Probably as excited as I am to meet them.” Buck snorted. “I heard about Isabel a lot and Pepa occasionally. I told Ramon I’m gonna find out if he’s my favorite Diaz or not, as far as the originals go.”

“I’m sure he loved that.” Shannon laughed happily.

“Nah, he knows he’s the reason I’m meeting any of you, and I’m sure he’s going to hold that over all of your heads for the rest of his life.” Buck chuckled. 

They sat and talked for a few hours, neither one of them wanting it to end. But Shannon did have a life and had work the next day and was meant to be seeing Christopher later. And Buck was going to check out LA a little more. Maybe meet his neighbors more officially. They hugged for a long time before they parted, heading opposite directions with a fresh drink to keep them refreshed for their walks. 

Except Buck made it a few blocks before realizing his keys weren’t in his pocket. He groaned and turned back to the cafe. He found his keys under the table he and Shannon had been sitting at and picked them up before spotting an accident a block the direction Shannon had gone. He … a pit formed in his stomach and he couldn’t stop himself from stepping toward it. The trucks- they were the same station that Eddie had gotten assigned to. And Eddie was at work. He got closer and saw that a car had run through a crosswalk, crashed into a sign with a woman being looked over by a paramedic. 

“Evan?” A small voice called, and then Buck saw her. Shannon was on the ground. 

“Shannon!” Buck screamed, running for them, but then Eddie was there, looking at him with wide eyes and standing up to catch him. “Shannon! No, no, we just- we-”

“Breathe, Buck.” Eddie said gently, but Buck couldn’t breathe.

“No.” Buck shook his head, looking at Eddie pleadingly. “No, I- please.”

“Say what you need to.” Eddie said, and he let Buck go. 

“You can’t- no, we just-” Buck gasped, holding Shannon’s hand and shaking his head. This couldn’t be happening.

“I’m sorry.” Shannon said weakly, holding his hand. “I’m so- sorry. I looked, I did, but-” She sucked in a breath, clearly deteriorating rapidly. “I got to meet you. I did.”

“You did.” Buck nodded, hardly able to see clearly. “You did. And we were supposed to have time. We were supposed to trick Eddie into speed dating before ditching it for shots at the bar and judging everyone together.”

“I’m sorry.” Shannon sucked in another breath. “Take care of Chris for me, Evan. Ok? He- he’s gonna need you. Just like I did.”

“You’re my best friend.” Buck sobbed. “Please. I just- I just want m- more t- time.”

“Me too.” Shannon gave him a small, heartbreakingly sad smile. And then the paramedics were taking her away and Buck could only watch as she was loaded up. Until he was shoved into the back with her, another person guiding him inside to sit and hold her hand. “I just- wanted more time, too. I love you.”

“We need to intubate her.” A guy said, but Buck was just holding her hand and knowing she was already basically gone. Buck held her hand and pressed it to his face, crying and hating that here he was, falling apart, when Eddie had been at the scene where his ex-wife was killed. Except Eddie was beside Buck and was gently taking Shannon’s hand from him and putting it on the gurney since they were at the hospital already. Someone must have said something or done something, because then the doors were shut, and Buck couldn’t stop the sob that tore out of him if he’d wanted to. 

“We- we were-” Buck hiccuped, hating that he was basically having a panic attack, “time. We we- were sup- -posed t- to have t- time.”

“I know, Eva.” Eddie said gently, making Buck cry harder. Eddie hugged him, though, and that helped a little. Eventually, Eddie helped him wipe off his face and helped him step down out of the ambulance since he knew Buck had trouble with steps and his leg was pretty obvious since he’d torn his jeans when he slid to the pavement to see Shannon. “I need to talk to the doctors. But you’re coming with me. This- this is not even close to how I wanted us to meet, but here we fucking are.” Buck lunged and hugged Eddie again, not able to stay back and he felt Eddie shudder and grip him close. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this is your first and last meeting.” Buck whimpered and buried his face in Eddie’s neck. “Come on. Let’s get you to sit down so … so I can say my goodbyes, too.” Buck nodded and finally stepped back, following Eddie who took his hand and led him inside to the seating area. He made Buck sit down and put several tissues in his hands before taking a breath and going to the back. The staff all did a weird tunnel sort of thing when Eddie came back holding her things in a bag before he approached an older man and hugged him. He wasn’t in uniform, and Buck didn’t have the capacity to ask or care. 

Buck got up when Eddie took his hand and pulled him up to his feet. He didn’t really process where they were going, but he wasn’t leaving Eddie right now. They’d both just lost her. And Eddie had had her longer. Or maybe they’d had her the same amount of time, since she’d left them and Eddie had been gone a lot. Whatever. It didn’t change that she was gone. They stopped in another parking lot and Eddie opened his door and pulled him to another truck and put him in the front seat, setting the bag of Shannon’s things in his lap gently. Then he got in the driver’s seat and they were headed somewhere else. 

“Chris is still at my abuela’s.” Eddie said when Buck looked up and realized they were stopped. “I … I’m going to shower and change and go get him. Do- do you want to come too?”

“I sh-” Buck cleared his throat, trying to figure out why it was so hard to get anything out.

“You should either wait here or come with me.” Eddie said gently. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Buck couldn’t vocalize and just nodded, opening the door and looking up at a cute little bungalow. Eddie unlocked the door and waved for him to follow, so he did. Inside was really homey. There were toys still sitting at the coffee table and even some at the dining table, Chris having left them out apparently. Buck sank into the couch when Eddie went down the hall. But Buck didn’t really want to be alone so he followed the sound of the water and sat on the edge of Eddie’s bed, right outside the bathroom. Eddie didn’t seem surprised to find him sitting so much closer. 

“I never lost someone like this.” Buck swallowed. “Someone close. That I cared about.”

“I lost my abuelo when I was Christopher’s age.” Eddie said quietly, sitting next to Buck. He was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. “But it’s … not the same as a friend.”

“We were supposed to have time.” Buck felt his lips wobble again. “We were supposed to harass you for us getting along so well. Go out, the three of us, so- so many things.” Buck sniffled, wiping at his face. “Maybe I should have stayed gone.”

“No.” Eddie said firmly, grabbing his wrist and making Buck look up at him. And, Jesus, did Eddie have to be so infuriatingly beautiful in person? “No, you would have regretted it forever and maybe never come back if this happened and you weren’t here.”

“Yeah.” Buck croaked. “Probably.”

“I’m sorry this is how we got to meet in person.” Eddie said more gently.

“Me too.” Buck ducked his head down. “Let’s … let’s go get Chris. I could really use some of his infectious happiness until … until we tell him what happened.”

“I can tell him.” Eddie said quietly.

“We’ll tell him together.” Buck argued, wiping his face again. “I want to tell him what we talked about before … everything.”

“Why were you there, anyway?” Eddie asked curiously.

“My keys.” Buck pulled them out of his pocket. “I got halfway to the bus stop only to realize I didn’t have them, so I turned around and they were under the table we sat at outside. When I looked up … it was just … a gut feeling. The pit in your stomach kinda thing. I knew the number was for your station, but my first thought when I saw the crash was that I had to get over there.”

“I’m glad she got to see you.” Eddie said, wiping his own face quickly. “I’m glad we were figuring out how to be friends again and taking turns with Chris to make sure he knew he was supported. You’ve been with all of us the last year and a half, but for them a lot longer.”

“Five years.” Buck agreed. “Not quite six, but close, I guess.”

“All because you met my dad on a bus.” Eddie sighed. 

“Here.” Buck pulled his phone out and went back to the picture of him and Ramon from when they met and held it out. Eddie chuckled and smiled at it. “He just asked me what I was doing going to Mexico. I think he was making sure I had a plan, really. I looked like crap.” Buck pointed out the bruising that was visible around his neck in the picture and the healing bruises and scrapes on his face. “A week in the hospital and a few days on a train across the country didn’t really do much for my healing. He seemed frustrated and … just lost; Ramon, I mean, when we talked. Like, he wanted to help you, to let you know he was there, but he had no idea how to do it. So I ran my mouth.”

“Yeah.” Eddie snorted, wiping at his face again. “Yeah, he said you called yourself a dick.”

“I am.” Buck agreed, smiling a little. But it fell away pretty quickly. “I don’t really remember what all I said, since we’ve talked a lot over the years, but I guess it made an impact.”

“Adriana and Sophia kept asking when they would be meeting their adopted brother.” Eddie grinned, making Buck laugh a little. “Dad was … he was helpful, to a degree. After that trip he stopped being so … demanding. He started offering help more often when he was around. I was seriously confused, but didn’t want to question it and have him revert back. It was nice. He even helped distract mom so Chris and I could make a clean getaway.”

“How do you expect they’ll react when they hear?” Buck asked softly.

“Mom will use it to try and get us to move back, dad might even give it an attempt; depends if he knows you’re here or not.” Eddie sighed. “With us, I mean. He knows you’re in LA, all of El Paso probably knows by now.”

“What?” Buck asked, trying not to sound too incredulous.

“Between him and Shannon and Chris, a lot of people knew your name.” Eddie shrugged, offering a small smile. “The doctors Chris had to see, the people who worked at the supermarket and listened to you and Shannon bicker about what to buy for groceries before you both decided something else was a better option. The mailman who brought postcards or boxes with trinkets that you saw and thought dad needed to have. I’m … I’m glad he was there for you when you needed it. And I’m glad he met you first, so you could … affect his outlook.”

“He still wants to find my parents and talk to them.” Buck snorted. “No matter how many times I said it wasn’t worth it, he hasn’t let it go.”

“He kept muttering about there being a difference in stern parenting and emotional abuse. I honestly didn’t know dad knew what emotions were.” Buck cracked up while Eddie shrugged. “He, uh, pretty much taught me from an early age that the man of the house is strong and sturdy, that he doesn’t get emotional. Which, yes, we know is bullshit. And he figured it out eventually and started trying to fix it. I’ve … been seeing the VA therapist for pretty much all the time I’ve been in LA. Through the fire academy and even throughout my probationary year.”

“That’s good.” Buck nodded. “I’m gonna have to research and find someone to pick up my shit or I’m gonna end up doing international virtual appointments.”

“Might see if they know anyone in LA you could transfer to.” Eddie suggested. “So. Think you’re ready to meet your number one fan?”

“Yes and no.” Buck sighed. “Yes, because I’ve been dying to meet him in person. He helped me through a really rough time.”

“And no, because now you’ll be helping him through a rough time.” Eddie finished for him. “Let’s go meet my abuela, dad’s mom, and see how much she smothers you.”

“I’ve never had grandparents before.” Buck stood up with Eddie. 

“It’s pretty easy to be a grandkid.” Eddie hummed, still holding Buck’s wrist. “Just be prepared to be the favorite.”

“We’ll see.” Buck snorted, shaking his head. He realized he was still holding Shannon’s things and her phone was on top. “Hold on, I wanna check something really quick.” Buck set the bag down and pulled his phone out and called Shannon’s. He showed Eddie that his phone had her saved as ‘Lois Lane’, and sure enough, on Shannon’s phone, the cracked screen said ‘Jimmy Olson’ aka Eva. Buck ended the call, not wanting her voicemail to pick up. “Knew she was doing that.”

“I’m listed as ‘Clark Kent’.” Eddie commented. “Guessing she got that from you?”

“I, uh, man, I don’t even know where to start, really.” Buck let out a breath. 

“Why don’t you tell me on the drive?”

“Yeah, ok.” Buck nodded and followed Eddie back down the hall and out the door before he was back in the truck. He spent the drive talking about the first time Shannon called. How confused and tired she was and how he talked about the canal and made it a video call, showing her what was happening and how happy it seemed to make Chris seeing the massive ships passing back before heading into the ocean. He talked about how Superman couldn’t save the world without Lois Lane and that even Clark Kent needed reminding that Lois was a badass before they were together. That made Eddie laugh pretty hard. So apparently not only did Eddie have an amazing smile, but he had an amazing laugh as well. Buck was definitely screwed with Eddie Diaz. Because he could and probably would break Buck’s heart.

“Wait here a sec.” Eddie parked the truck and headed up to the house where an older woman that had to be Isabel Diaz was waiting, and so was Christopher. He was sitting on the step and Eddie just immediately dropped down to his level. It was so sad to see the bright smile slowly slip away as Eddie explained what happened before Chris was hugging his dad around the neck. Eddie had his hand behind his back and waved for Buck to get out and join them. So he took a breath and opened the door, drawing attention when it shut louder than he expected. Isabel had her hands on her mouth and rushed off the porch as fast as she could, arms out and reaching for him. Buck couldn’t help but smile as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down into one of the best hugs he’s ever had. 

“Eva?” Chris’ voice called, cautiously. Buck looked up and saw the surprise and joy fill the little boy’s eyes as he stood up. “Eva!”

“Christopher.” Buck whispered. Isabel let him go and gave him a shove toward Chris who was moving fast, just like Buck knew he would. So he crouched down and caught the little boy as he crashed into him and knocked them both over in the lawn, making them laugh. “Hey, buddy.”

“Hi.” Chris mumbled against his chest, a lot like his mom had. “I’m sorry about mom.”

“Oh, hey, no.” Buck shushed him gently, kissing the top of his head and sitting up with Chris sitting in his lap, still clinging to him. “Your mom and I had coffee and sat together for hours before. We talked and drank coffee and just enjoyed the famous California sunshine. But she was my best friend aside from you. So- so I might need some help some days not to be sad she’s gone.”

“Me too.” Chris nodded against him. “We can be sad or not be sad together.”

“Good plan.” Buck agreed, kissing his head again. Just because he could finally. “But we should probably start by going inside and maybe help dad with what he needs to do. So we can give Lois Lane a super cool celebration that would show everyone how great she was and how much we’ll miss her.”

“Can you help me pick out good flowers?” Chris leaned back and looked up at him. A smile slowly spread across his face as he reached up and touched Buck’s birthmark. “This looks cooler in person.”

“Thanks. And of course I can.” Buck chuckled. Eddie came over and helped Chris stand up before pulling Buck to his feet as well. Except he used more force and Buck fell into him. Luckily, Eddie was pretty sturdy and caught him. He snorted and laughed lightly, shaking his head a little.

“Guess I didn’t account for you being down a leg.” Eddie shrugged, patting Buck’s arms.

“Yeah, makes the weight distribution a little weird.” Buck agreed, grinning back. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting in Spanish, because Buck was used to it over English. Even Chris pitched in now and then, but mostly he just sat in Buck’s lap, one hand wrapped around Buck’s finger as if holding him in place. It worked, Buck was not going to get up or leave any time soon, but it was the cutest thing to be part of. Eddie took a couple pictures of them together, and even Buck and Isabel, who told him he would call her Abuela as well since Ramon pretty much adopted him seven years ago. When it was time to go, Buck didn’t even know what they were going to do. Because, yeah, he should go to his apartment, but also, he didn’t think he could leave Eddie and Chris, either. In the end, Chris decided he was staying with them, so Eddie drove to Buck’s barely-lived-in apartment and they all went inside so he could get a few things. Eddie frowned as he looked around, and Chris had a matching frown. 

“Guys,” Buck said, chuckling as they finally looked at him, “I’ve only had the place for like a week. And I didn’t own anything but a bag of clothes when I moved in. So it’s gonna look bland or sparse. You can help me make it more homey.”

“I’m gonna make you some pictures to hang up.” Chris said, looking at the plain, boring walls. 

“Ok, buddy.” Buck smiled and shook his head before going to the bedroom and digging his bag out that was just at the top of the closet anyway. He always kept it close in case he would need to leave again. He put a few things in it, including some toiletries, but frowned again. “Hey, Eds?” 

“Hm?” Eddie hummed, leaning into the bedroom.

“I, uh, I don’t have anything to wear for … for a funeral.” Buck admitted quietly. “I’ve never needed anything for one.”

“We’ll figure something out tomorrow.” Eddie said gently. “I’ve gotta go into the station to fill out a request for time off, so you’ll probably go with Abuela or Pepa. Probably both. And Christopher.”

“Ok, but what are the odds they’re gonna help me with something for a funeral and then stop there? Because I’m pretty sure they already know I don’t have a lot, because Shannon was trying to get me to set up a shopping trip with her anyway.” Buck pointed out before heading for the living room. He snagged his crutches from the hall closet and set them on top of his bag. 

“Those are great!” Chris said happily. “Mine are red, but you got blue! I couldn’t really tell the color in the videos.”

“I liked the blue-green ones.” Buck chuckled. “They reminded me of the oceans and rivers around Central and South America. The trees reflecting in the water. I bet you got red because dad’s a firefighter, huh?”

“Yeah!” Chris answered excitedly. “They match the trucks! But with both of our crutches together we match Superman’s colors!”

“Do you have any food you need to worry about?” Eddie asked, nodding toward the kitchen.

“Groceries were on my list of things to get today.” Buck sighed. “So it’s all still pretty bare.”

“Well we went grocery shopping the other day, so we have plenty.” Eddie nodded to himself. 

“Then let’s head over there and I’ll fix us something for dinner.” Buck agreed, ruffling Chris’ curly hair before picking up his bag and crutches, only for Eddie to snatch them out of his hands. 

Buck rolled his eyes and Chris giggled before they were leaving and heading back to their house. Buck felt good getting to speak Spanish with Chris and Eddie. He was so accustomed to it, that English felt weird anymore. He’d spent the past seven years pretty much speaking Spanish and English only when he talked to Shannon or Gladys (not including when he was teaching other people basic English). Sometimes Chris, because he was still learning. 

The shopping trip with the extended Diaz family was actually more fun than he expected. Chris wanted something to wear similar to Buck, but Buck wanted to make sure he was comfortable, not just handsome, which made the little boy giggle and roll his eyes. Buck didn’t want to damage the pants he was trying on, so he’d had to take his leg off and use his crutches to move around, which made Chris pretty happy. The problem was that Buck had really long legs, even if one was metal. They told him they could hem the pants the same as the other leg, which was good because it would sit the same way with his prosthetic on. 

They managed to get the arrangements made in most of a day, so that was something. Even if it sucked, majorly. Buck wasn’t fully prepared to be at the church with Eddie and Chris a few days later and to see Ramon Diaz again. As soon as he saw Buck, though, he ran over to him, Eddie and Chris smiling as the man wrapped Buck in a hug. Buck chuckled and let him fret for a little while, before telling him to sit down already, they could talk when it was over. Buck was officially introduced to Helena, Adriana, and Sophia, but they were more reserved and promised to talk to him later, too. The girls did, Helena did not look like she cared at all. Which was fine. Buck didn’t care. He’d agreed to speak for a bit, even if he hated public speaking. But Shannon had been his best friend when he’d needed one, so he agreed.

“Hi.” Buck said, wincing when the mic screeched as he’d tilted it up a bit. “Fuck, calm down.” He muttered, pursing his lips and flushing when several people laughed, including Eddie who put his head in his hands and his shoulders shook a little. Chris just smiled brightly at him. “So. I, uh, I’ve known Shannon for almost six years, give or take. We started talking on the phone. I was in Panama the first time she called, actually. Ramon gave her my number and she called. She was stressed and overwhelmed and had no idea who I was or why she was calling me, but she just needed to talk to someone. I switched the call to a video call and got to meet her and Christopher at the same time, because Christopher was being grumpy.” 

“Hey!” Chris said indignantly, giggling when Buck winked at him. 

“He was … I think he was two, or around there. They’d gotten the CP diagnosis recently and she was … she was struggling with it, with taking care of herself enough to take care of her son. So I did something I’m pretty good at and just talked. I showed her the ships passing through the canal. So I want to share what we talked about. I told her sometimes we have to process shit like the canal. When a ship enters, a section is filled with water, before the barriers ahead slowly lower and the ones behind close. We take in so much crap; good, bad, everything. And we do everything we can to stay afloat and sail through it. But as we go, with each new challenge that opens, like a barrier, we keep moving with it. We leave things behind as we go, too. We lose some of the stress and emotional turmoil that we had, and we pick up joy and happiness. Kinda like barnacles. Things that stick with us through our struggles. And then we make it through and suddenly we’re in an ocean of possibilities again, free from the confines we thought would trap us forever. 

“That started a chain of events I didn’t really anticipate. We started talking once a week on the phone as I traveled further south. I even got to see Christopher’s PT sessions with his crutches while I was in Rio. And then … then I had my accident. The rusted out, piece of crap car I’d bought outside of Guadalajara was hit and knocked off a cliff and I … I lost my leg. I was 23 and alone in a foreign country and trying to figure out what to do next. Shannon made it more bearable, though. She set it up so Chris and I would be able to do physical therapy together. She encouraged me and just … she was a really good friend. Even if we hadn’t ever met in person, she became my best friend. She was … she was the first person I told about what led to me traveling to Mexico to begin with. 

“Fifteen months ago, she called me, crying and freaking out. Telling me she left everything. Her mom was sick, and it was one of those shitty situations because Eddie had just gotten discharged and she was completely torn up, emotionally, about what to do. So she left Christopher with Eddie and went to LA. And she was able to be with her mom when she passed away. Our calls, after that, sort of became a cat and mouse game where I would talk to her and then Eddie would call and suddenly I felt like a marriage counselor.” Buck smiled when Eddie laughed. “A few months after that I called both of them on a group call and told them to figure their shit out together. Since they’d both gotten to know me, at least a little, since I didn’t really know Eddie very well yet, they laughed and started talking about me like I wasn’t there before making plans for them to move forward and take care of Chris together. When we talked, 15 months ago, we … we made a plan. We were finally going to meet. In person.” Buck sniffled and wiped at his face. “I was turning 26 and she was already 28. So a little over a week ago I got on a plane, the first time in my life, and … and I left the places I’d come to think of as my home for the past seven years. Getting to meet her, finally,” Buck took a breath again and tried to remember how to breathe, but his voice still came out croaky, “i- it was the b- best birthday present I’d ever gotten.” 

“Dios.” Eddie whispered, getting up and joining Buck, putting an arm around him to steady him a little. 

“We made the plan to meet on my birthday.” Buck wiped at his face again. “And we did. We had probably way too much coffee and just … talked for hours. When I left the cafe, I was still pretty elated. Until I was halfway to my bus stop and realized I didn’t have my keys. I’d dropped my fucking keys, and that is the only reason I was there. Right after the accident happened. I don’t know how Eddie did it, staying so calm, because I was losing my shit.” A few people chuckled, but there were a lot more sniffles. “I got to meet my best friend officially and lose her in the span of five hours. But … I wouldn’t trade the time we had for anything. Shannon was stubborn, independent, beautiful, and completely out of Eddie’s league.” Buck snickered when Eddie pinched his side lightly. His sisters laughed and cheered, though. “Thank you all for coming today. To celebrate the life of a stressed mom, a control freak, a complete mess of a human being, and an awesome friend. Thanks for letting me share with you.”

Buck let Eddie help him back down the two steps back to the benches where they were able to finish off the ceremony and head to the cemetery. When they were standing at the graveside is when Buck actually looked at his feet for the first time all day. He blinked a little confusedly at what he was looking at though. He looked over and saw Eddie watching him, his head tilted adorably, as if asking ‘what?’. 

“Now is a really bad time to laugh,” Buck said quietly, which only had Eddie’s lips lifting at the corners, “but what the fuck? I didn’t change the shoe on my prosthetic.” Eddie looked down and snorted, before covering his mouth and trying not to laugh. “What the fuck, Eddie? You let me walk around all day with two different shoes?” But then Buck snorted, and then Eddie couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out and then Buck was snickering and they were trying to calm down together while getting weird looks from everyone close to them. “Oh my god, I should just throw my shoe in with her so I don’t have to deal with it anymore and no one notices.”

“Don’t do that.” Chris said, watching them with a smile. “Mom would get mad that you gave up a shoe for her.”

“Probably.” Buck said, still chuckling as Chris leaned between him and Eddie. “This is definitely something she would laugh about for hours.”

“She would.” Eddie agreed, still laughing. “We’re going to Abuela’s for lunch, so let me go talk to my firehouse and thank them for coming and we’ll get out of here.”

“Ok.” Buck nodded, “Give me your keys and we’ll get the truck ready for a getaway.”

“Ok, Buck.” Eddie laughed, passing them over easily. 

Buck and Chris headed for the parking lot, waving to the Diaz families with promises to see them in about an hour. Just long enough for everyone to get comfortable before gathering together. Eddie jogged over and got in the passenger seat while Buck drove them back, all of them still snickering occasionally about Buck wearing mismatching shoes. Eddie put jeans on and a t-shirt while Chris and Buck both wore shorts and t-shirts. Buck put his other shoe on that matched his prosthetic, sticking his tongue out and making Eddie and Chris laugh again. Chris cheered for him matching this time, which only made Buck roll his eyes. 

When they made it back to Abuela’s, Ramon was waiting on the porch for them. He hugged Chris, then Eddie, before pulling Buck in again. Buck and Ramon kept an arm around each other as they went inside, just smiling at the weird twist of fate that had them reuniting a little over seven years since they’d first met. This time Ramon made them take a picture together. Buck loved being around the Diaz family. He’d really enjoyed getting absorbed into their midst like he’d been there all along. He eventually got free of the adults and went to play with Chris and the other kids in the yard. They were all fascinated by his metal leg and started calling him Bucky Barnes. 

It wasn’t a surprise that Helena tried telling Eddie Christopher should stay with them for a while. She didn’t give them a time frame, just that he should. Ramon gestured to Buck and Chris sitting in the grass saying they would be fine. And after he retired in a few years they’d visit more often. He started talking about dropping in and visiting all of his kids and the girls groaned at the idea. Complaining that they used to get away with things before he befriended a random gringo on a bus. Buck had laughed. Eddie had rolled his eyes. Ramon sighed disappointedly. Buck looked at Eddie’s schedule for the firehouse that evening and talked to his auto friend and made sure he could work opposite shifts to a degree so he could be there for Chris when he needed him. 

Slowly, over the next month Buck’s apartment filled with drawings and pictures that Eddie and Chris had made or printed of Buck from when they’d finally met to pictures Buck had taken and sent to them over the years. Some were definitely from Shannon’s phone, which was fine. One of the pictures they’d printed was from the morning Buck and Shannon had met for coffee. Buck picked Chris up from school a few times and took him to the auto shop and taught him about the cars he was working on, speaking in Spanish the whole time so Chris could get more comfortable with it. 

It had been a surprise when after Buck had been working through the new routine with the Diaz boys that Eddie had pushed him into a wall and kissed him. A good surprise, completely good, but still a surprise. Buck was pretty sure Eddie wouldn’t be interested and have too much guilt to work through, but he’d been doing well in his therapy for a while. So Buck didn’t argue about Eddie’s tongue being in his mouth. Not when Chris was already in bed sound asleep. Eddie was a phenomenal kisser, and Buck felt like he’d probably get off from that alone since it had been a very long time since he’d had that kind of contact.

They took it slow while they figured things out together. It was a lot of experimentation for Eddie and a lot of remembering how to move or learning how to move again with a limb missing for Buck. It had been a little emotional for Buck the first time they actually had sex. Because he hadn’t done that with anyone after he’d lost his leg. Eddie never knew him when he had it, though. So he was happy to reassure Buck that they were fine. More than fine as Eddie kissed him passionately, pushing everything he felt about Buck into it. After that, Buck barely ever stayed at his own place. His original lease had only been for six months, anyway. He’d wanted to see if he liked it before signing for longer, but when the time was up, Eddie and Chris happily packed up the things they’d left over and moved Buck in with them. 

Buck wanted to help Eddie find a better helper, though. Someone who could work between their schedules when Chris would inevitably end up with his grandmother or Eddie’s aunt. So Buck and Chris went out for coffee while Eddie was at work and brainstormed different ideas before a woman interrupted them. 

“I’m sorry for cutting in, but did I hear you right? You’re trying to find someone to help out with getting this angel taken care of here and there?”

“Yeah.” Buck agreed, clearing his throat. “Sorry if we disturbed you-”

“Not even a little.” She chuckled. “My name is Carla, Carla Price. Now I typically work with older folks, not having the energy to chase after young kids anymore, but I am a certified home aide. Maybe I could help you find something?”

“Evan Buckley.” Buck reached out and shook her hand. “Chris’ dad calls me Buck, so do the guys at the shop I work at, but Christopher calls me Eva. We’ve been best friends since little man was only two years old.”

“And now I’m eight!” Chris said excitedly. “Well, almost nine, but dad looks like he has heartburn whenever we bring up that I’m almost out of single digits.”

“Nice to meet you both officially.” Carla shook Chris’ hand too, making the boy giggle happily. 

“Our biggest problem, really, is that Eddie is a vet and all the different things he can apply for are tricky. Between that and the CP foundations, it’s a lot of red tape bullshit. I’m not a lot of help because I learned how to file crap and navigate it in South America. I forgot English was so confusing sometimes.” Buck sighed. “You’d be a life saver if you could help us even with just this part.”

“I don’t mind, seriously. The last long term client I had passed away a few years back, so I’ve only had a few short term folks here and there. I’m happy to look through what you have and maybe even put my name in the ring for consideration. I know you’re probably a pro on those things, but if Ms. Carla is hanging out with you, I hope you’ll stay close.”

“LA’s kinda big.” Chris scrunched his face up. “Eva can keep up with me if he’s on his crutches or if he has his running leg on, but dad always ends up jogging after me. I can stay with one of them, even if I’m excited, most of the time. So I could stay with you, too.”

“If you have time now I can take a look at all this?” Carla offered, gesturing to the papers Buck was trying to look through. 

“This was our only plan today.” Buck grinned. “Why don’t I grab us a few more snacks from the counter and maybe a refill of drinks and we’ll jump into this?”

“Can I split a brownie with you?” Chris asked hopefully. 

“Only because you ate all your carrots earlier.” Buck smiled, reaching out and bumping fists with Chris. “Please, have a seat, I’ll be right back. Actually, what do you want to drink? So I don’t guess and bring you something you barely tolerate?” Carla laughed and rolled her eyes, making Chris giggle too.

“Just a latte for me, I don’t want to overdo the caffeine.” She patted his arm. 

“Be right back, superman.” Buck grabbed his crutches and made his way to the counter. He hadn’t wanted to wear his leg that day, and Chris liked when they matched with their crutches so it wasn’t a chore. He ordered a few more drinks and a few pastries that the barista said she’d bring over shortly, since he couldn’t exactly carry the drinks without hopping. He sat across from Chris and Carla and she was honestly amazing. Buck was able to fill out everything they needed for Chris to have the school and health support he needed without completely breaking the bank for any of them. Buck pulled up Eddie’s schedule and set up so she could meet them at the Diaz house and get properly introduced. Buck still called to check her qualifications, just to make sure he hadn’t made an error in trusting her. Which he hadn’t. She was overqualified, actually, but she wanted to help. Eddie looked like he was in shock the whole time they went over everything together and he signed where she told him to before taking copies of his stuff to be submitted. 

“You’re amazing.” Eddie groaned, kissing down his neck nearly as soon as Chris was in bed that night, having crashed incredibly hard after the amount of sugar Buck gave him and then worked out of his system at the park. 

“You’re my family.” Buck whined when Eddie leaned back. “Hey, why’d you stop?”

“Marry me?” Eddie said it so seriously, but Buck couldn’t do more than blink at him before his sight was too blurry from the tears welling up in his eyes. “I love you so much, it’s honestly stupid how much I love you, Eva. I want you as part of our family, permanently. Legally. Be my partner.”

“How long have you wanted to ask?” Buck sniffled, wiping at his face.

“At least two months.” Eddie chuckled, leaning over to his nightstand and pulling out an actual ring box that had Buck crying more immediately. “I was pressured into marrying your best friend when we found out about Chris. But you helped us be friends again after we failed horribly at being married. I never felt this way about her. Like I can’t breathe when I don’t know where you are. Like my heart is going to burst with how incredibly in love I am with you when I see you and Christopher together. I know we haven’t been in a relationship long. But you’re it for me. I feel it.”

“I feel it too.” Buck whispered. “God, I hate that I’m being such a mess right now!”

“You’re my favorite mess.” Eddie hummed, kissing his nose. “So what do you say?”

“What will Chris think?” Buck asked, feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“He picked the ring out.” Eddie grinned. “He was so damn excited about it, and I wasn’t going to make this decision without his input.”

“I love you.” Buck croaked. “Yes.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, looking like he hadn’t actually believed Buck would say yes. 

“You asked, I answered, give me my fucking ring already.” Buck grumbled, leaning up and biting Eddie’s lip lightly. “Because you’re never getting rid of me.”

“It- Eva, it’ll mean you’re done running.” Eddie said hesitantly.

“I’ll be with you.” Buck shrugged. “You and Christopher. I won’t run from you. Ever.”

“Ok.” Eddie grinned before taking the ring out of the box and slipping it on Buck’s hand. 

When he finally kissed Buck, it felt brand new all over again. Chris noticed the ring during breakfast in the morning and cheered and hugged Buck tightly around his neck, bouncing around like crazy, making Eddie cheer and laugh with him. They called the family on video and showed off the ring and started planning. They were going to take a few months to get things figured out, get into a more solid routine now that Buck found a stable home aide for them. Ramon was hilarious, to Buck. He was cheering and running around to tell everyone who would stand still long enough to get the words out. Eddie had rolled his eyes, but was still pretty happy about it. 

He’d started being bullied by both Eddie and Chris to get tested for ADHD, and when Carla heard? She joined in without hesitation. He didn’t really care if there was a name to what his issue was, but he finally agreed that he’d do it if they would leave him alone about it after. He hadn’t actually expected to be diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety, but he also wasn’t entirely surprised. The anxiety he expected. Since he’d started running, when he left Pennsylvania all those years ago, he’d definitely been too anxious to stay in one place for very long. It was a little weird adjusting to meds, especially when he realized how much easier it was to focus and that he could actually sit still during a movie night. 

Eddie tried to join Buck on his runs now and then, especially after they were engaged, but he always complained Buck was too fast. Buck got a little lost one day, though, and somehow ended up in a running club of some kind. He’d just sort of been running and then looked up and realized he was in the middle of a group of people who were all running as well. But they seemed to be training for something because there was someone telling them when to put on bursts of speed, and when to resume their normal pace. Which he only realized when he ended up next to the guy leading everything. He asked Buck to do another lap with him while the main group was dropped off at the entrance to some fancy looking gym, so Buck and the guy had ended up sprinting and racing each other at the end. 

“You’re good.” The guy gasped, watching Buck as he tried to catch his breath again before ending his run on his watch. He’d managed to go over 12 miles somehow.

“Thanks. Sorry for sort of crashing in. I have no idea how I even ended up wherever the hell we are.” Buck looked around, hoping there was a sign or something.

“How long you been runnin’ on that?” He gestured to Buck’s running blade, though he didn’t really need to.

“Somewhere around three years.” Buck shrugged. “First year was mostly just the regular leg, but got a running blade close to the end of that and started running a lot the next few years.” 

“Really?” The guy looked surprised.

“Don’t like staying still.” Buck shrugged. “My partner and his kid kinda tricked me into getting tested for ADHD, and the meds help, don’t get me wrong, I can at least focus for longer than an hour now, but running is still my go-to thing for decompressing.”

“I believe it.” The guy nodded. “I’m Jeremy. Why don’t you come inside, we can talk and you can see what you think of our gym?”

“Might as well since I’m here.” Buck said, still unsure where he was. “I’m gonna let my partner know I got lost, though, so maybe he can come pick me up when he gets off his shift.”

“What’s he do?”

“He’s a firefighter.” Buck said enthusiastically, dropping Eddie a pin and asking for a ride. “He’s in his second year of it, so still kinda new since the first year is always probationary.”

“Good job everyone.” Jeremy said, walking through the crowd of recovering runners and giving high-fives and fist bumps. “Same time next week.”

“Thanks for joining us.” A woman said, bumping fists with Buck. “It’s nice to see a new face, even if it’s just someone who got lost.”

“Sure, no problem.” Buck chuckled. When he really looked at her, he saw she had a prosthetic on her forearm, because her hand was gone. So he looked around and saw that everyone in the group had some kind of prosthetic or missing limb. “What kind of group did I end up in exactly?”

“Some of us are just wanting to run with others who are similarly impaired.” She held up her fake hand for emphasis. “Others, well, others are doing a sort of summer training program for their chance at the paralympic games. I’m here because I’m more comfortable running with a group like this instead of on my own. No desires or goals to be a pro athlete. I like my day job.”

“What’s your day job?” Buck asked curiously. “I’m a mechanic. Some days, anyway. I’ve done lots of things.”

“I’m a lawyer.” She chuckled. “Estate law. Katharine.”

“Buck.” Buck shook her hand, the real one. “Nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll, uh, see you around. I’m pretty sure Jeremy is going to try tricking me into officially joining your cult.”

“You already run,” she laughed, “so you’re halfway there. See you around, Buck.”

The gym was really cool, actually. The equipment and stations were set up for people with prosthetics or in wheelchairs, giving them plenty of room to maneuver around and set up however they needed. The owner, Jeremy Jones, designed it in honor of his brother who had been deployed and came back without a leg but still determined to be fit. He wanted him to have a place he was comfortable in and not feel self conscious about people working out around him without a problem or having to make adjustments. His brother did the javelin throw for the paralympics, which was really cool. As soon as Buck was introduced to Jensen, he called his coach and said they should meet and see what Buck could do on a track. Eddie came in when they got off the phone.

“How the hell did you end up in Hollywood?” Eddie asked with a laugh, walking over to him. 

“I have no fucking clue.” Buck snorted. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

“Of course. Hi, I’m Eddie.” He reached out and shook Jensen and Jeremy’s hands. “What all did you talk my fiance into doing?”

“Jeremy.” Jeremy laughed. “This is my brother Jensen, who is on the paralympic track team.”

“I see.” Eddie nodded. “So you convinced Buck to give it a shot.”

“He agreed pretty easily.” Jensen shrugged.

“He’s been looking for something more physical to do, and we talked about the team as an option to help with his wanderlust.” Eddie agreed. “This place is pretty great, even if it’s way outside of where we live.”

“I’m telling you, I have no idea how I ended up here.” Buck sighed. “I took an uber to that trail that I always take, but I took a different path this time and somehow ended up in a group of other people that were running that all had different types of prosthetics. So now I have a running club schedule and potentially a training schedule. It has been a wild year.”

“How long you been in LA?” Jensen asked curiously.

“About seven months, maybe closer to eight.” Buck shrugged. 

“Where were you before?” Jeremy asked.

“Peru.” Buck smiled when they looked at him in confusion. “Long ass story, guys. Sort of ran away when I was 18 and went south, through Mexico and South America for a while. Came back around eight months ago to meet a friend and stuck around. But I have Eddie and Christopher, so I figure LA might stick since this is where they want to be.”

“I look forward to hearing the stories people come up with about you for the games.” Jensen snorted. “Where were you?” He nodded to Eddie.

“Kinda depends.” Eddie wobbled his head. “Texas or Afghanistan.”

“What part of Texas? I was in Fort Sam for a while.” Jensen asked interestedly.

“El Paso and Fort Hood. Came out here to join the fire academy after I was discharged. My ex-wife was here, and she was waiting for her best friend to get to town.” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand. “When she was killed in a car accident, we managed to convince Buck to stick around for us.”

“Sorry that happened.” Jensen said apologetically. “Also wanna know more about how you got with your ex-wife’s best friend.” Eddie laughed and Buck snickered, too.

“We get that a lot.” Eddie nodded. “If Buck ends up on your team, I’m sure we’ll see each other more often and get to tell you more random stories.”

“We’re getting married in a couple of months, just waiting on the final flight itineraries from a few other people.”

“Congrats.” Jeremy said happily. “We’ll see you soon, no doubt. Take care, guys.”

“Thanks for picking me up.” Buck smiled as Eddie rolled his eyes and gave him a quick kiss. 

“Let’s try to get home before my exhaustion catches up to me.” Eddie said, climbing in after opening Buck’s door for him. “How was your run, other than joining a random running cult?”

“Good.” Buck chuckled. “It was crazy to realize I was in a running group with other people with prosthetics, though. Kinda nice. I’ll get to know some of them and see about carpooling or something.”

“Still no luck on the car?” Eddie asked, changing lanes.

“I mean, yes and no.” Buck wobbled his head. “So I can keep the car we pulled out of the lot, but it’s gonna take me a few weeks, at least, to get it running. Javier already called dibs on painting it, and has been conspiring with Christopher about what color or design to do. So I might have a car by the time we get married, but it’s also kinda up in the air.”

“I bet the guys’ll help you get it done in time.” Eddie reached over and patted his thigh, letting it rest there for the remainder of the drive. “That or they’ll have it done by the time we get back from our short honeymoon.”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked me to marry him when he didn’t have all that much time off saved up.” Buck lay his hand over Eddie’s, linking their fingers. “But I think the four days we have set are gonna be awesome and we are going to be beyond annoyed when we get back and have to wear clothes again.” Eddie snickered and shook his head before he pulled onto their street. 

“You know you were interested in a hedonistic honeymoon, too, don’t even try to lie to me.” Eddie said, still smiling as he put the truck in park in the driveway. “Nothing but the two of us, unlimited drinks and sun and a private beach.”

“And probably dozens of other people doing the same thing as us.” Buck snorted. “But it’ll be great. Never did the whole nude beach thing, but I’m pretty excited to have our time together that way.”

“Good.” Eddie leaned over and kissed him quickly. “Now let’s go shower and you can wear me out before I pass out.”

“Ok.” Buck laughed, kissing him once more before they got out and headed inside.