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It all started with Control Freak. That was why everything went wrong - or well, wrong in the loosest sense. No, nobody got hurt, died, or anything close. Control Freak was being himself.
No one really understood what his objective was as a villain - or even if he counted as one. To be honest, he was the type of villain the Titans never had to take seriously and had to toy around a bit before sending Control Freak running away.
The “battle” was fairly simple and generic with the couch potato and the most damage he caused was upon the Titans’ patience with Nightwing’s dad jokes, which had been dubbed to a lower category by Cyborg and Changeling as “uncle jokes” due to the monstrosity of the leader’s mere attempt at making jokes.
But how was Control Freak at fault? He didn’t have the time to brainwash Nightwing with classics the couch potato raved about when films were in black and white and lacked dialogues. Rather, he arbitrarily placed the Titans in random films while he purposefully places Changeling with himself in Star Wars to settle who the number one fan is through a lightsaber fight.
Unfortunately for the rest of the Titans, Nightwing and Raven were placed in Storks, a kids movie filled with egg puns that was regrettably their humour. Despite the contrasting image between the dark and stoic birds and the cheerful movie, Raven and Nightwing were having the time of their lives, competing over who made the best egg jokes through a points system.
The only saving grace by the end of this was that Raven didn’t make painful egg jokes like Nightwing - she was more subtle with hers.
The problem however started burgeoning when the Titans were able to escape the labyrinth of movies.
“I’ll get you next time, Titans!” Control Freak spat, flying away in his flying chair and making the others roll their eyes at the unoriginal remark. “And my back-up of my back-up’s back-up remote! Curse you-WHOA!” He shrieked as the flying chair started malfunctioning and started zooming away.
Nightwing turned around, facing his team as he played with Control Freak’s tenth remote. “Well, that was a bit egg-streme of him.”
Raven didn’t respond, but her arms were crossed and she stared back at the leader. He was catching up on the puns. She needed to step up.
“Dude… Was that an egg pun?” Changeling quizzed, looking disgusted.
It wasn’t only Changeling who was giving a repulsed look and Nightwing noticed as he crossed his arms. “I was just trying to egg-spress myself. Geez, guys.”
“Please don’t.” Koriand’r stated, looking down at the leader sympathetically.
Changeling semi-forcefully nudged his arm to Cyborg’s metal chest with a grin. “And you say my jokes are bad, huh? Get a load of this guy.” The shapeshifter mocked, jabbing a thumb in the leader’s direction.
“Yours are bad too,” Cyborg shot back before looking at the Boy Wonder. “But let’s not bring egg puns back, Rob.”
The leader narrowed his eyes - though not as effective as his eyes were masked - before turning the attention onto his girlfriend. “Raven thinks my jokes are funny. See? She’s smiling.”
“No, I’m not.” The empath responded, face returning to its unreadable state.
“Friend Nightwing, she is somewhat obliged to laugh when nobody else is for you as your girlfriend.” The Tamaranean added.
“Yeah, and she’s also got uncle humour too.” Changeling claimed, pointing his finger at Raven as if he were accusing her.
Raven scoffed in response. As if she shared the same humour as Nightwing. “No, I do not.”
“You made more than me in the movie.” Nightwing countered. “I guess I could say you egg-celled my egg-spectations.” He joked, making the sorceress crack the slightest smile.
The green creature slapped a hand on his forehead and groaned, wondering how the birds spent an entire hour just cracking jokes. “This is so lame guys. How do you guys genuinely flirt over puns?”
“Indeed.” Koriand’r added, nodding in agreement. “And why are the eggs so special?”
“It makes it egg-stra funny.” Raven answered, making only Nightwing crack a smile.
“Are we just gonna sit here and exchange egg jokes or are we gonna get a move on?” Cyborg inquired as he crossed his arms over his metal chest.
“Yeah, let us head out.” Koriand’r stated, zooming over inside the T-Car to her seat as the rest of the Titans soon followed.
The puns didn’t stop there though. There was a reason why it was earlier stated that the most damage Control Freak had done was on their patience. Nightwing merely went on a short break before starting again.
It was late and the team gathered around the table in the monitor room where they have their weekly debriefs on petty and unprecedented criminals or emergency meetings over more experienced villains.
The Boy Wonder soon concluded the small crime patterns, upcoming missions, and the Titan on patrol duty for the week once he noticed the tired expressions of his team. Alongside Control Freak today, they had fought two other - much skilled - villains later in the day, making this meeting later than usual and the Titans much more enervated.
“Great job guys.That’s all for today, yolks. You guys can head out.” Nightwing started, palms on the table as he looked down at Raven from his shoulder with a slight smirk. “I think I’m winning now, eh?”
Everybody except the birds groaned in annoyance at the fatuous pun.
“Enjoy the win,” Raven shrugged, nudging his arm with her shoulder as she smirked back. “But it doesn’t mean you're getting cracked tonight.” She added, making the other two boys slightly scrunch their noses up in disgust. Too much information.
“Fair play.” Nightwing frowned as he and Raven high-fived.
Koriand’r, the only one who didn’t get the innuendo glanced between Cyborg and Changeling helplessly. “What does that insinuate and why do the two of you seem so displeased about it?”
“Raven is basically saying that Dick won’t get laid while using another pun.” Cyborg stated, rolling his eyes in irritation.
Changeling grimaced. He's had enough with the jokes. Ironic since he was the one usually telling awful jokes. "Disgusting."
“Yes, and now we’re tied.” Raven claimed, looking up at her boyfriend as a sly grin fell upon her face at his grimace. “Don’t get too egg-ravated.”
Changeling groaned. “If you two wanna keep at this stupid joke, at least take it somewhere private.”
“Oh, we will.” The sorceress claimed.
After all this, Koriand’r still had a perplexed look, trying to understand. “Laid?”
The shapeshifter turned his head sideways, looking up at the Tamaranean with a straight expression. “Sex.” He stated before a yawn slipped out of his mouth and he walked out of the room. “Yeah, I’m going to head out now. Later, dudes.”
“I didn’t know you two were so open about your sex life.” The princess innocently stated with a smile - as always.
The birds glanced at each other, unsure of what to say as Cyborg decided to speak up. “Kory, I think it was meant to be a jok-”
“Well, that’s un-egg-spected.” She added, ignoring what the half-robot was going to say. “Do I get a point too?”
“Yes, you do, Kori.” Nightwing responded, standing up straighter.
“Splendid!” The Tamaranean clapped her hands before also yawning. “I think we should ‘hit the hay’ now.”
With that, the team began gathering their things, the day’s exhaustion finally catching up with them. One by one, they filed out of the monitor room, ready to rest, recharge, and face whatever chaos awaited them tomorrow.
