Chapter Text
Breath heavy. Heart pounding. Palms clammy.
There was a tremble in her hands as her eyes locked on the door. Nothing there. Nothing there. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as she worked to level her breaths.
It was okay.
Robin glanced back towards Vickie. Vickie who was frozen in place, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.
“There’s nothing there.” Robin stated to no reply. “Vickie?” No reply. “Vickie?” Robin’s voice heightened in pitch as the panic sank in. She outstretched her hand to brush her girlfriend’s shoulder.
Vickie violently flinched back, eyes snapping onto Robin. “We should get back out.”
And she left Robin there in that music room, both still tasting the other’s lip balm.
* * *
“–and then she just left.”
Robin’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet as she rambled about that day’s events. The car went over a speed bump, jostling the two and knocking Robin’s band hat from the back seat onto the floor. She brushed her hair from her face as she glanced over at Steve to gauge his reaction. His face twisted with annoyance but he kept his eyes trained on the road. He scoffed and Robin sighed.
“I get it, it’s just…” She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know.”
“I thought it was going well with Vickie.” Steve looked over to Robin for a second. “You said you two were super happy.”
“I was – I am.” She pulled up one of her legs so that she could rest her chin on her knee. Her shoe pressed against the chair, something Steve usually scolded her for. He let it pass for now but if there were any scuffs left on the chair when she got out she knew he’d have her head. “It is going well. Y’know, we love each other and all but it’s like as soon as we started dating she can’t be seen within five feet of me.”
She turned the music off.
“Rob–”
“I get it! I get it!” She suddenly said, accidentally interrupting him. “Like this is terrifying but… I thought we’d at least be going through it together.”
The streetlamps flickered as they drove past. Robin followed them with her eyes until her head hurt but no, it was just regular flickering lights. The sun was setting early, bathing the whole of Hawkins in soft orange light.
“She’s fine when we’re on our own but as soon as there’s other people around it’s as if she hates me.”
“Robin, are you sure you two are ready to be together?”
No.
“Are you giving relationship advice with that track record?” She laughed.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just so desirable that every girl wants to give the others a chance too.”
“You’re chronically single.”
“I’m available.”
She laughed at that and then, upon seeing the glare he gave her, laughed even more.
Steve pulled the car into the Wheeler’s driveway, switching off the headlamps and parking.
“What’s the bets that Dustin’s actually ready to leave for the time I asked him to be?”
“I’m thinking… absolutely not.”
The two got out of the car together (a testament to how long they expected to be there waiting for Dustin’s D&D game to reach its so-called ‘natural pause’. Apparently that existed but Robin and Steve were yet to see the evidence). Their shoes crunched against the Wheeler’s drive. Steve was the one to knock, his fist echoing against the wood. Once. Twice. Thrice. Robin stood behind him, glancing around the neighbourhood. Her band shoes were pinching her toes but there was no point in looking for another pair this late into the year so she would just have to make do. She bounced her weight between each foot to try and take the pressure off. Steve knocked again and the door swung open.
There, stood in the open doorway, was Nancy Wheeler.
She had pinned her brown curls back out of her face with a hairclip. A multi-colour skirt twirled around her legs as she moved. Her blue college t-shirt was basically covered by her cardigan. There was an exhaustion behind her eyes that could only be developed by having to hear a younger sibling and his friends shouting over some game in another room. She stepped aside so that Robin and Steve could enter. Steve beelined right past and down to the basement, shouting a ‘hi’ to Mr and Mrs Wheeler as he went. At least, he assumed he was, he didn’t actually know if they were there… and the car wasn’t there… so he had probably just spoken to air.
“He does know they’re not here, right?”
Robin’s mouth curled into a grin. “Oh he’s got no clue.”
“I think the campaign’ll take a while more so, do you want a drink?”
“Campaign?” Robin huffed out a laugh as she followed Nancy into the kitchen.
“That’s a very basic Dungeons and Dragons term,” Nancy defended, her own voice soft with laughter. “Also, we keep letting kids name things from the Upside Down after things from the game so we should probably all get a little aware… just in case.” Her voice hushed. There wasn’t any risk of the kids hearing but it was probably best to be cautious, they didn’t deserve any more reminders.
“Yeah…”
There was a new quiet in the air at the reminder. There hadn’t been any new… incidents since Vecna was defeated. And ‘defeated’ was a big term. Max had been hurt, Eddie and so many others had died. Sure, they had killed Vecna, but he had won in his own way. Why couldn’t it have been their turn to win?
Nancy interrupted the silence by moving into the kitchen, Robin following behind. She took two glasses and filled them with water before offering one to Robin. They both nursed their glasses in the kitchen as the silence droned on. Robin took a sip from it, and then a gulp. She hadn’t realised how thirsty she was and soon she was half done with the drink.
“You look like you have something on your mind.”
Robin met Nancy’s eyes. “Other than the crushing reminder of our time in hell?”
Nancy huffed out a laugh, soft and melodic. “Yeah, other than that.”
“I…” Robin chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought about what she should say. “Do you think Vickie likes me?”
“Yeah.” Nancy’s answer was immediate and reassuring. “Why?”
Robin huffed out a sigh. There were so many things she wanted to say but somehow she didn’t quite have the words to say them. Was it really such a problem? Was she overreacting? She loved– loves – Vickie. Is it mutual? Of course it’s mutual. How could she be so cruel as to assume it wasn’t? She was awful, wasn’t she? Truly horrid. She really did want to be with Vickie but…
“I love being with Vickie, it’s just that I don’t know if she loves being with me.” Robin took another sip from her drink, pressing the cold glass against her lip. The condensation was icy and damp as it dripped down her fingers. “If she’s not ready for us to be together, then maybe we shouldn’t be.”
“Shouldn’t you try to fight for it?” Nancy’s voice was quiet, contemplative.
“It hurts, Nancy.” Robin fixed her eyes on the ceiling light. “It really hurts loving someone and wanting to be with them but knowing that they don’t feel the same.”
There was a wistfulness in Nancy’s gaze but before Robin could ask about it, Steve and Dustin approached, bickering as they walked. Nancy picked up her drink. It left behind a ring of condensation on the smooth surface of the counter. She watched the water splash against the edge of the glass. Robin placed her own glass into the sink.
“Bye Nancy.” She gave her a wave.
“Bye Robin…” Her voice trailed off as she watched the trio leave – as she watched Robin leave.
* * *
Robin stared at the ceiling of the Harrington’s spare bedroom, thinking, contemplating. Moonlight peaked out from behind the curtains, bathing the room in light. It was cool, not too warm, not too cold. The ceiling was smooth and most importantly, intact. No red hell dimension splitting it in half. She was safe here. And with safety came time to think.
‘If she’s not ready for us to be together, then maybe we shouldn’t be.’
Robin loved Vickie and Robin had no doubts that Vickie loved her back. It hurt though. When she’d pull back. It hurt. It hurt that everything was so perfect and then as soon as they started dating, it was as if Vickie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near her. Hawkins wasn’t safe for people like them. Even just pretending to be friends wasn’t safe. All it would take was one whisper, one rumour, and they would both be town pariahs. Vickie didn’t deserve that.
‘Shouldn’t you try to fight for it?’
Robin Buckley loved Vickie Dunne.
‘It *really* hurts loving someone and wanting to be with them but knowing that they don’t feel the same.’
And so she knew what she had to do.