Chapter Text
The turtle in the orange mask was sitting on an old New York rooftop; it was a dark night. A light breeze played with the ends of his mask, but the turtle himself seemed to pay no attention to it, too absorbed in his thoughts.
To be honest, he didn’t know how he had ended up like this. He had always been the happiest and most cheerful turtle in the world! It’s just that the last couple of months had become too… empty? I don’t know how to describe this feeling; I’ve always been bad at understanding emotions. I would probably say… tired. I really used to treasure and love this life! But now everything seems so meaningless and gray. I love my brothers, my sensei, and my friends very much. But I think things would really be better for many people this way. Without me. After all, I usually just fool around and lift everyone’s spirits. Oh, I feel so sorry for Klunk… My kitten, who loved me so much, and whom I took such good care of… I still remember how I found him on Christmas Eve!
I just don’t see a reason to live. Yes, I even saved the world a few times, but my brothers could have done it themselves, without my help… Yes, maybe I feel guilty for what I’m doing, and for feeling this way, guilty for being annoying, for not being able to focus, for not taking many things seriously, for bragging that I’m the Nexus Battle champion.
I’m very ashamed of all that.
Maybe there was another way out, maybe I could have just talked about this with my family, but I was too scared to talk to my loved ones about something like this.
But hey! At least I left a final note with goodbyes and a request that they not blame themselves for my death. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how they might blame themselves. And I wouldn’t want that to happen.
A relaxed smirk spread across the turtle’s face for a second in response to his own thoughts.
Now I’m sitting on the roof, consumed by my stupid and obsessive thoughts, thinking over my actions and decisions. I probably look quite pathetic from the outside.
And still, I would like to apologize to everyone now and thank them for everything.
To apologize to Donnie for constantly distracting him from his work, and thank him for putting up with him and building the things he wanted.
To apologize to Raph for constantly pestering and pranking him, and thank him for protecting him despite all that.
To apologize to Leo for the inconvenience caused by teasing and jokes, and thank him for always supporting him. Oh, I still remember how he helped me in the Nexus Battle rematch when I had almost lost hope.
To apologize to Master Splinter for being inattentive during his ninjutsu lessons, and thank him for always loving him.
To thank April and Casey for accepting them and loving them like family.
And poor Klunk — I hope my Sensei, Leo, Raph, Donnie, and April with Casey take care of him.
Maybe my brothers have already figured everything out and are already running after me — if they even care, of course. And so, I think it’s time for me to finish what I started.
Tears were already glistening on the turtle’s cheeks, and he smiled. A kind and warm smile. His last smile.
He stood up and allowed the wind to take him as he began to fall. Thoughts raced through his mind — everything he had seen in life, all the happy moments, all the sad ones — and now, happiness was about to come. He would finally find peace and maybe, someday, meet his brothers on the other side, though he hoped that moment would be very, very, very far away for them.
He felt so light, both mentally and physically.
He was in seventh heaven! He hadn’t been this happy in months.
But, to his misfortune, someone grabbed his wrist just before he fell completely.