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the cat's no good for talking to

Summary:

Daichi would have loved to be a cat, but being a human turns out to be what's best.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Daichi wishes he had been born a cat.

If he had been a cat, their sizes would have been the same and it wouldn’t always have been him doing the cuddling. He also wouldn’t have had to be as careful to restrain his movement around Kuroo. His worst fear had been to accidentally hurt him. He was so small.

If he had been a cat, he would have talked cat too. Then he could have understood Kuroo better. He could have understood some of his complaining or his jokes. He had never gotten his jokes and it had made him mad whenever Kuroo would look at him as if he were an idiot. If he had been a cat, Kuroo could have understood him too. He wouldn’t have been able to ignore him every time Daichi had confessed his feelings to him.

If Daichi had been a cat, he wouldn’t have had to watch Kuroo slink outside at night to try to find a mate. He would have already had one at home. He would have stayed inside, safe, with Daichi. He wouldn’t have come back hurt from fights against other males or smelling of garbage too many times. Daichi had tried to beg him to stay. Even Master got angry at Kuroo whenever he would flee outside. But he kept doing it.

If Daichi had been a cat, Master wouldn’t have brought him with him to look for Kuroo when he didn’t come back home. That… He wasn’t certain if he was glad to be a dog for once or not. He’d been worried sick. Kuroo had always come back, meowing in front of the patio door, with the sun rising. Not that morning. Master and him looked everywhere. They found him on the side of the road a few streets from their home. He had been so small, so fragile, so broken there on the asphalt. Daichi cried. Other dogs joined him in his hurting as solidarity. Master had let him howl for once. The human had been busy picking Kuroo, what used to be Kuroo, from the ground. Pitiful sobs humans do when they are sad escaping his mouth.

Life had been too sad without Kuroo. Master had gotten over it faster than Daichi. How he had managed, Daichi had no idea. Kuroo with his beautiful shiny black fur, his perfectly fluffy tail, his velvety-soft ears. His tiny, so tiny, paws with claws sharper than his smile. His all knowing golden eyes. Master always told Daichi he was a smart boy, but Kuroo was the smart one. Master had never caught him disobeying the rules so Daichi was always the one who was blamed when he found something broken or stolen.

His loyalty. His caring heart. His stubbornness. His stupid adventurous spirit.

He misses Kuroo so much it hurts. He still loves him so much it hurts.



Daichi sometimes wishes he was a cat.

Cats can sleep anywhere anytime. They can be capricious but they are still loved. They are smart and agile creatures. Unlike dogs, they can play alone with practically anything. He would like to be a cat if there is at least another cat with him, though. He doesn’t believe it when people tell him cats are independent and stressed with other cats around. He’s pretty sure those who have two or three cats have happier cats than those who have one only.

When he was a kid, his grandmother had four cats. They couldn’t have cats at home because his mother was allergic so Daichi enjoyed those visits immensely. His dad said the cats were ungrateful and wild because they would hide whenever they would visit, but Daichi knew where to find them. While the adults were busy talking in the living room, he was busy napping with the cats and playing with them in the basement, closets or under the beds. He liked how they always treated him like one of them, though he felt like maybe they thought he was a bit of an idiot. He loved their mewing and purring and wet-nose-kissing. His parents always had trouble convincing him to go in the car when it was time to go back home.

He told Suga and Asahi about how he wanted to be a cat as a kid during a training camp in their first year of high-school. He thankfully couldn’t tell them he sometimes still wished he was a cat because they had laughed at him before he had the time. Which he has to admit is normal. But what shocked him was when they told him how funny that was because he reminded them more of a dog. That offended him slightly. Dogs are nice. He likes dogs too of course. But given the option between being a dog or a cat, he wants to be a cat. Being offered the option between being a human or a cat…

He also likes being a human. He loves volleyball. Cats, for all their acrobatics and jumping prowess, can’t play the sport. He likes his family, his school, his town. He enjoys reading books and listening to people. He has friends that make being a human worth while. Cats are fascinating, but humans are so much more.

Also there’s Kuroo Tetsurou.

Suga just had to remember how Daichi had admitted to wanting to be a cat back in first grade with Nekoma coming over on Golden Week. And he just had to remember out loud in front of Nekoma’s lineup, as if waiting a bit were impossible, “they all are a bit cat-like! You should have gone to that school, Daichi, seeing you used to make-believe you were a cat as a kid.”

What is he supposed to do? It is true. Suga doesn’t know he still kind of wishes he were a cat so he’s safe. Kids do stupid stuff. Everybody around them has been a child before. So he keeps his face as stoic as possible and hopes Suga shuts up.

Nekoma’s captain does not stay stoic. Before Suga, his back had been straight and his face had been serious and focused on meeting the team that were their team’s rivals. Now, he has a crooked smirk and is leaning towards Daichi, “Karasuno’s captain is into kitten play?”

Daichi is shocked. He can feel the heat rising from his neck to his face. He knows he’s going to be blushing a bright red in any seconds. He tries to compose himself, but all his mind can do is mentally scream. Suga chortles next to him. Nekoma’s captain stares at Daichi in shock, apparently he’s surprised he said that too. But it’s too late. Every teen and maybe some adults heard him. He’s starting to blush too.

Nekoma’s number three raises his voice “Kuroo, you shouldn’t provoke people with their sexual preferences.” Suga is now holding his middle because he laughing too much. He’s trying to tell Daichi he’s sorry, but the words are hacked by wheezing and guffawing.

“Woh, I’m so sorry for that, I don’t know what went into me,” Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo, says. “I don’t know why I blurted that out. And I was so sure you wouldn’t get it. Not that I mean you wouldn’t know about it because of being innocent or something, you look like you could know a thing or two. Just that… I’m making it worse, I’m so sorry. This is bad, now everyone will think you actually are into it,” he babbled.

Daichi coughs to regain composure, then looks at his teammates. He gives them the look that lets them know that what happened will be forgotten or they will suffer. By their shifty eyes and fearful poses, they already knew before he even looked at them that he would ask that of them. All except Suga who is failing to breathe, tears in his eyes. "Greet your opponents!” He leaves no time for things to get out of control again, “Let’s have a good game!”

Thankfully, everybody answers loudly with “have a good game!!!”

Kuroo’s face looks a mix between shame and hilarity and Daichi gives him his brightest fake smile. They shake hands, both smiling brightly as if the previous awkward moment never happened. “I’m looking forward to our match today,” Kuroo says.

“Same here, I’m looking forward to it too.”

It dawns to Daichi at that moment, while their hands are locked, while they are smiling so much his cheeks hurt, that this guy’s the cunning type. Maybe Suga was right about the Nekoma players being like cats. Maybe after he forgets their bad first meeting he might start to like them as much as he likes cats.

But first, they are here for a volleyball match. He’ll have the time to be mortified all over again once he’s back in his room at home later. And maybe he’ll be panicking then too that a guy as handsome as Kuroo flirted with him in such an outrageous way. But only once the day would be over, not before.

Notes:

Kuroo the cat had always been frustrated that Daichi the dog never understood his puntastic flirting.