Chapter Text
Nothing about this house felt like home anymore. Not a damn inch felt like it belonged to her anymore. Every item had felt as if it was placed there by an intruder, as if she hadn’t decorated it to perfection a year after the wedding. Wanting nothing more than to take a bat to every trinket and decorative plate. Take a knife to the couch cushions and leave Harwin with nothing but the clothes on his back and his unnecessarily expensive briefcase. Jace skipped and hopped down the front step every time he brought a load of his things to the car. She craved his blissful ignorance of the gut-wrenching pain she felt. There was a relief in it, though; the fact that he was unaware of it meant she was doing fine. A pile of Harwin’s newly ripped shirts was building to her right. It wasn’t the decorations or the couches, but it was a small victory.
He was a fucking coward. Acting as if he was staying away while she packed for her sake. No, if he gave a shit about what was good for Jace and her, then he would’ve kept it in his pants. He certainly wasn’t thinking about her when he slept with her friend. Just a coward that was living in the shell of the man she’d married, unwilling to even tell his son goodbye. He used to treat her as if she was the center of his universe; it dwindled over time. Jace was four when she noticed the change in the dynamic of the relationship. Chalking it up to settling into the comfortability of domestic life. Blind to the way the women at office parties ignore her very existence and how suddenly he was quick to get frustrated with her. In hindsight, it was all warning signs.
God, it hurts. How much she loves him still claws at her chest. This wasn’t how she envisioned her life. When Jace was placed in her arms, she could’ve sworn she could see forever. A perfect little family. There wasn’t a single reality in which she had pictured doing this alone. Now, no matter how hard she tries, the road ahead just seems so bleak. She feels guilty for it, knowing she should keep pushing for Jace.
“Rhaenyra, are you even listening to me?”
“Wh— Yes, Mom.” Having no idea whatsoever, but assuming it was another rant on the best way to take the trip.
“When are you leaving? Just want to make sure the rooms are tidy.” There was an excitement in Aemma’s voice that honestly pissed Rhaenyra off.
“Soon. Next hour, probably.” It wasn’t her mother’s fault. She had every right to be excited that her daughter and grandson were coming to stay with her.
“Perfect. Well, sweetie, I love you. Don’t want to keep you any longer.” There was a loud bang in the background, meaning she was already busying herself with useless cleaning. As if Rhaenyra hadn’t spent half of her life so far in that house.
“I love you too, Mom. Bye.”
Letting her phone slip from her hand as she hears the call end, letting it smack against her thigh before landing on the couch beside her. Resting her face in her hands, a shaky breath filled the sudden silence. Everything felt worse the quieter it got. Usually filling the space with TV or a YouTube video about pointless drama. Background noise. Not knowing if Harwin being here to share the silence would be worse than facing it on her own. He was right, though; seeing him would only make it harder. It would consume her thoughts more than it already did.
It had been difficult to make friends when they first moved here. How does someone make connections in their mid-20s so far away from the place they grew up? No shared experiences, not an ounce of shared culture. Amelia had been her saving grace, their connection instant. From the moment they ran into each other in the nearby coffee shop, literally running into each other, they had been quick friends. Finding out how much they had in common as they mutually helped clean up the mess. She just wasn’t aware that fucking Harwin would eventually be one of the things they shared.
She had dropped Jace off at his friend’s, and later Harwin would tell her that he’d thought she’d gone to the store, making sure to add on that she always took forever when she went. Rhaenyra knew the moment she walked through the door. It was quiet, just like the house always was, but everything felt off. She didn’t cry or make a scene. Just opened the door to make her presence known and turned toward the kitchen. She had dinner to make. Jace had to eat when he got home. Ignoring any explanation that Amelia had tried to give as she rushed from the bedroom, not responding at all. Harwin hadn't even tried to go after her.
She ended up blocking her number; one could only ignore phone calls so many times before it started to get annoying. Not caring for an apology or anything else Amelia had to say. Harwin, on the other hand, she laid into him. Using any moment Jace wasn’t home, she told him how she felt. She assumes it’s the reason why he hadn’t come home or bothered to see them off. Jace didn’t deserve that. He deserved to have his father hug him and say goodbye.
“Mom, everything’s packed up!” Jace breaks the unbearable silence. He wasn’t completely aware of what was going on, but he knew enough to know that his mother and father weren’t exactly fond of each other.
Pushing herself up from the couch and grabbing her purse, running her fingers through his hair as he leads her out the door.
“Such a big help, buddy. Thank you.” Force a smile; she’d gotten quite good at making it seem genuine.
Letting the door latch but not bothering to lock it. The fucker deserved to get robbed. Letting Jace climb into the passenger seat as she started the car, hoping that the pain would subside the further she got away.
“Don’t look back; it’s bad luck.” Turning to look at her son for a moment. Little arms wrapped around the headrest as he watched the only place he’d known as home disappear as they drove. “Put your seatbelt on.”
“I don’t care about luck.” For as smart as he was, he was equally as fussy. She supposes that he got both from her; she couldn’t be mad.
“Oh, you will. When all the bad luck comes for you, I hope you remember this moment.” Teasingly pinching his cheek, still plump with baby fat.
“Whatever.” Crossing his arms over his chest after slamming the seat belt together. The dramatics were from Harwin; she won’t take the blame for that.
“Keep it up, and we won’t stop once for McDonald’s.” An empty threat—she had been looking forward to it. They never got fast food, and she would take any excuse for comfort food right now.
“Yeah, right.” Busted.
—————
Jace had fallen asleep about an hour into the ride. A blessing, really. Rhaenyra adores him; he was truly the cutest, but he could get dreadfully annoying fast. Especially when she didn’t have much to entertain him with. Her current mood makes it incredibly easy for anything and everything to get on her nerves, so she couldn’t fault him entirely. Mostly asking curious questions about buildings, species of birds, and what would happen if all the tires fell off a car at once. Just things that she didn’t understand why he thought she’d have an answer to.
They had, in fact, stopped for McDonald’s, twice actually. The trip was long, and Rhaenyra didn’t want to make any long stops. No sit-down restaurants, just quick eats and bathroom breaks. As they pulled into the driveway, all she wanted was to rush inside and fall face first into the bed. Feeling as if she could sleep for at least 16 hours. With Aemma as a mother, she knew that wouldn’t be possible. The moment they stepped out of the car, the peaceful drive here would feel like heaven.
“This is where you and Dad grew up?” Jace looked like he was taking a tour of the sewers. Glancing around at everything with a look of judgment. “These people are aware electricity was invented, right?”
“It’s a small town, not an Amish community.” Chuckling as she turns the car down Main Street. “Yes, this is where we grew up. It’s got charm.”
“Yeah, to old people it might be nice.” Mumbling under his breath. “Will my computer even work here?”
“I’m sure it will; Grandma has wifi.”
“I wasn’t sure she’d know what that is.”
That erupts a full laugh from her. A sound no one has heard in weeks. “Grandma is 68, not 103. She knows what the internet is.”
The gravel that covered the long driveway must’ve alerted Aemma to their arrival, because she comes rushing out of the front door before Rhaenyra even has the car in park. Baelon right behind her, absolutely beaming with excitement. He wasn’t much older than Jace; there was only a 2-year difference between them. She never did think adopting him was a good idea. Her father was already declining at the time, but they’d taken him in anyway. Almost positive that he’d paid off the agency to look the other way. He always did want a son.
“It’s about time you got here; Baelon’s been waiting at the window for hours.” Aemma practically rips Jace from his seat, pulling him into a tight hug.
Her brother tugged at her door handle. “Hurry, Nyra. I only have 2 hours before bed!”
“Alright, alright. I’m moving as fast as I can.” Protesting as he pulls on her hand, rushing her from the car.
“He’s been dying to show you his room. Says you’ll be impressed with the remodel.” Her mother informs her, forcing a serious look. “Go on and see; I’m sure Jace and I can handle unloading the car.”
“I let Dad pick the colors the last time I went to visit him.” Baelon tells her as he drags her up the porch steps.
“Do you not visit often?” They didn’t live far from the senior home; she assumed they would’ve gone often.
“Mom does, but she says my germs from school could get him really sick. So I can only go on school breaks. Says I'm cleaner then.”
For the next hour she’s dragged to nearly every corner of the house, trying her best to seem entertained as if she didn’t grow up in it. Their mother tries and fails to intervene multiple times. Rhaenyra can’t be too upset; she adores Baelon just as much as she does Jace. Even if he’s much more talkative and over-explains nearly everything. Nearly crying out in relief as they are called for dinner, but stopping herself. Instead, she ushers her brother to the table and smiles as Jace helps his grandmother bring out the food. Aemma makes sure not one of them dares to make their own plate, holding the serving spoon hostage as she serves each one of them before focusing on herself.
“Thank you, Mom.” Rhaenyra knows better than to fight her on this. She was doing way too much for them, worried that her mother would stretch herself too thin.
“Of course.” There is something in the way she smiles that makes Rhaenyra uneasy. It feels like pity, and that’s the last thing she wants. It’s almost like Aemma could see that she caught it, quickly moving the conversation along. “I was thinking we could go see Dad tomorrow. He’d love to see you three.”
Everything else she feels is forgotten. Viserys was the one person that could make everything better. In the past it would’ve been with comforting words, not that Rhaenyra took his advice or even cared for it at times, but his mind was failing now. His presence would be more than enough for her. Even if he didn’t recognize her fully, she knew he’d still sit with her.
“I’d love that.” Quickly shoving a bite of spaghetti into her mouth, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. She was so sick of crying, and she wasn’t willing to do it in front of anyone.
“Nyra was telling me about your computer, Jace. Could you show me once it’s set up?” Baelon asks through a mouthful.
“Not if you don’t use your manners.” Aemma gently scolds, shooting him a look. Earning a quick apology from him.
“Sure, we can take turns tomorrow. It’ll probably take Mom a while to get it running. My dad was always the one who worked on it.”
Rhaenyra opens her mouth to defend herself; she absolutely knows how to set it up, but the sharp knock on the front door cuts her off. There’s a stupid smile on her mother’s face, one that tells her that she’s up to something.
“Could you get the door, sweetie?”
“Mom, who’s at the door?” It was her first night here, and she couldn't have a moment of peace. Not one damn moment.
“Just a friend, that’s—“
“Who, Mother? Who is it?”
“Oh, Baelon, would you just get the door for me?” Trying to glare at her daughter, but the one she got back was much worse. “Alicent Hightower.”
“Mom—“ Running her hand over her face. “I don’t want to see Alicent Hightower.”
“She’s my friend, and she’s helped me with a lot of things around here. If I want to invite her for dinner, I will.” Aemma says firmly.
Baelon rushing back to his seat stops her from arguing back. Forcing herself to smile, earning a nod of approval from her mother. Oh, she was going to hear about this later.
“Rhaenyra Targaryen.” It took everything she had not to roll her eyes. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“It’s Strong. Rhaenyra Strong.” Jace tells Alicent firmly, shooting the woman a scowl.
A smile tugs at her lips; that’s her boy. Turning to greet Alicent and having to stop herself from making a comment about the stupid cowboy hat that she was wearing.
“You must be Jace. You’ve got your mom’s eyes.”
And he rolls them just like she does too.
“Hi, Alicent. Nice to see you.”
“Why don’t you sit down, Ali? There’s plenty of food.” Aemma says, reaching for another plate.
“Thank you, but I’ve already eaten. Should really finish up the porch now that there are two boys here. Don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
“Of course, I’ll send some iced tea out.” Rhaenyra shoots her a look; she won’t be doing that.
The moment that Alicent is out of earshot, Rhaenyra makes her feelings known. It was clear that her mother had this planned. Probably from the moment she’d asked to come home. For years Aemma had boasted about Alicent, conveniently anytime Rhaenyra had complained about Harwin. It wasn’t like they were ever close; she’d always found the woman annoying. Always so polite and helpful. With her stupid cowboy hat and boots. It was also quite clear that she had told Alicent about what Rhaenyra was going through with Harwin.
“Don’t start, Mom. Don’t.” She says firmly, holding her hand up. Making it clear that there was no room for arguing. “I don’t want to see anyone, let alone Alicent Hightower.”
“Oh, don’t be like that. She’s lovely, and she’ll be doing work for me, so you’ll just have to get used to her being around.”
“That’s fine, but we don’t need to be friends.”
—————
After a couple of minutes of back and forth, Jace volunteers to take out the tea. Baelon had to go to bed, and Rhaenyra downright refused. She had nothing to say to the woman and didn’t feel like being roped into a conversation. So Jace went, carefully balancing the tray of tea out to the porch with the intention of dropping it and running. He wasn’t fond of Alicent either, not with the way she looked at his mom. In his mind, his father was going to come back. His parents were just upset with each other right now, but they’d be okay in the end. That’s what always happened.
“Thank you, little man.” Alicent says as he sets the tray down beside her. “How are you liking Hansville?”
“It’s fine.” He grumbles. “How long is this going to take?”
“Probably about 30 minutes. Why?” She asks, looking up at him with a grin.
“My dad’s going to be here soon, and I don’t think he’ll like you.”
“Is that so? I’d better be leaving then.” Her chuckle clearly didn’t sit well with him.
Quickly he moves to start packing up her tools, lazily tossing them into the bright red toolbox. Kicking away sawdust with his shoe. He was much more outspoken with his dislike for Alicent.
“You know, we had this pet skunk once. Mom named it Alicent, and all day long she’d yell, “You stink, Alicent!” One day she finally had enough. ” Picking back up the tray of untouched tea. “Picked up a hammer and killed it.”
“That’s quite a story, Jace.” Alicent’s smile never falters, only growing bigger as Rhaenyra comes to usher him away. Clearly having heard at least the end of his tale.
“That’s enough; go brush your teeth.” Waiting until he’s gone back inside before turning toward Alicent. Offering an apologetic smile. “He’s not always like that.”
“I’m sure he isn’t. It’s probably been hard on you both.” Instantly regretting the words as Rhaenyra’s smile fades. “Your mom told me. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Not your fault Aemma Targaryen is Hansville’s biggest gossip.” Running her hands over her thighs, wishing for an out to this conversation. “It was less of a problem when my life wasn’t the topic of conversation.”
“Forget I even brought it up. We’ll start over.” It’s a hurried response. It’s clear that Alicent wanted to talk to her; it almost makes Rhaenyra feel bad, but she didn’t owe anyone anything. She definitely didn’t owe Alicent a conversation. She hadn’t seen the women since high school.
“Look, I’m sure you’re doing great and want to catch up. I just—“ Rhaenyra sighs, taking a step back toward the door. “I honestly just want to lie face down in bed for at least 2 days. I don’t want to talk to anyone; half the time it takes everything I have to talk to my own son. I—“
Alicent holds up her hand, taking her own step back. “We don’t have to talk, Rhaenyra. Not right now.” Smiling again at the confused look she received. “We’ll be friends eventually. I’m annoyingly likable.”
It’s annoying how proud she looks as Rhaenyra smiles; there’s less malice in the way her eyes roll. “I’m sure, Hightower. I don’t ever remember you being close to likable.”
“No offense, but you were a bitch.”
“I wasn’t a bitch; everyone just annoyed me. You especially.” She bites back, more annoyed that she can’t seem to stop smiling. “Get off my porch.”
“Unfortunately for you, I am kind of employed on this porch right now. Your mom pays me pretty well.” Glancing behind Rhaenyra into the house, making sure Jace was gone before setting down her toolbox.
“Unfortunate. Guess I really won’t get a moment of peace around here.” There’s a pause before she turns back toward the door, as if giving Alicent a chance to keep the conversation going. “I’ll bring the tea back out.”
“Don’t worry about it; I won’t be long anyway.” Taking her seat back on the porch, studying the wood plank for where she’d left off. “Goodnight, Rhaenyra.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Perhaps she wanted the women to look at her. It kind of felt nice. “Night, Alicent.”
Rhaenyra finds it hard not to look back as she enters the house, which only makes it easier to never want to be in Alicent’s presence again. Moving as fast as she possibly could, casually of course, toward the stairs. Determined to tuck Jace in before going to rot away in her bed. She’s thought about it ever since they arrived. Terrible romance flicks and as many snacks as she could smuggle from the kitchen. Alicent Hightower would soon be the furthest thing from her mind, just as it should be. Her heart didn’t flutter at the thought of a girl; it never had. Never. Not in high school, definitely not when Alicent would show up in those stupid boots that seemed too big for her feet and that even stupider hat. No, Rhaenyra liked men. The strong and tall type. That’s what she had told herself over and over at 16 in her bedroom mirror, and it'll remain true.
Rhaenyra Targaryen was not gay.
____________________
The moment her eyes cracked open, she knew it was far too early. Absolutely way before she intended to be awake. The sound of an electric saw overhead screeching in her ears. Throwing the blankets off her body and reaching for her robe, letting it fall over her form before wrapping it around herself. Bare feet stomping against the floor as she moves through her door and flies up the stairs. Hell-bent on putting her mother in her place. Aemma knows she isn’t in the mood and should know she needs as much rest as possible, and here she is.
”Mom!” The sound of the saw overpowers her voice as she continues to climb the stairs to the attic. “Mother! For gods sake! Must you—“
She stops, suddenly aware of every inch of herself. Clad in only her underwear and a T-shirt, covered in a robe loose around her, hair still a mess from sleep. Running her hand through silver locks in a hopeless attempt to look somewhat put together. Debating if fleeing was an option, it was painfully obvious that it was too late for that. Eyes already on her, saw being switched off to welcome an uncomfortable silence.
“You look like death. No offense.”
Oh, that shit-eating grin was getting really fucking old already. In fact, it was pissing her off. Reaching over to pull the cord from the wall. A far different interaction than the friendly one they had the previous night.
”Well, I’d love to see what you’d fucking look like being violently woken up, Alicent.” Teeth pressed tightly together. “Don’t you have a real job to get to?”
”This is a real job; you’d know that if you ever had one.” It’s the fact that Alicent is joking that pisses her off the most. Stupid joke while wearing that stupid hat.
Stepping into the other woman’s space, a well-manicured nail poking against her chest. Playing off the way her breath hitches as she truly sees the way Alicent looks in a sweat-soaked white shirt. Just an annoyed huff, nothing more. Rhaenyra’s movements cause her to smile, and it sets her off.
”You piss me off, you know that?”
”I do.”
”You get a kick out of it? Payback for me being such a bitch in school?”
”No, you’re pretty when you’re mad.”
Rhaenyra softens for a second, gaze flickering up to brown hues. She doesn’t remember the last time she was told that. Pretty. That hasn’t felt true for a while now. Hand falling back down to her side as she steps back, suddenly feeling far too close and needing distance. Alicent seems to follow for a second, feet carrying her forward, an action met with further retreat.
”Come back later; I’m sure my mom won’t give you a hard time. I need sleep.” Turning to climb down the stairs. “Preferably when I’m not home.”
”You’d have to actually leave, which you don’t seem to have an interest in doing.” Alicent’s tone is serious, which catches Rhaenyra’s full attention. “You can’t just hide away and expect things to get better. You’ll wallow away in your own pity, and the world will pass you by.”
How dare she stick her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong, offering an opinion no one asked for. Alicent spent her whole life in this small backwoods town, and she wants to lecture her about the world passing someone by.
”You’ve got some nerve, you know that. Where do you get off?“
”No. You know what, if you want to spend the rest of your days in bed, moping about some brute that peaked in high school, go right on ahead.”
”You don’t know a goddamn thing about me. You’ve got it in your head that I’m the same girl you knew back then, but I’m not.” She could feel how red her face was, seething.
”Oh, you are.” Alicent says through a breathy laugh. “You hung off every word that Harwin Strong uttered. Guess the word “divorce” is no different; it brought the great Rhaenyra Targaryen to her kne-“
She doesn’t realize that she’s even moved until the sting of her palm brings her back to reality. Alicent cradling her cheek inches in front of her. Demeanor faltering for a moment before correcting herself again. The apology forms on her tongue before she quickly swallows it, straightening her shoulders as she turns. Finally making her descent down the steps.
”Get the fuck out of my house.”
A few minutes later, the saw starts again.