Archive of Our Own

"That does look really good, maybe I should have had my notifications on"

"Aww Mira, aren't you the biggest sap today"

Demon cuddles?!?! Zoey was definitely going to need food to survive that.

Their penthouse kitchen was surprisingly sparse. No wonder they went out for ramen. The only thing in the fridge was a bell pepper, some leftover rice, the last bits of Celine’s kimchi and in the very back of the fridge imported American hot dogs with buns.

Hot dogs?

It’s been forever since Zoey last had a hot dog. These must have been sitting here since their 4th of July party. It wasn’t really a party. It was just Mira, Rumi, Celine and Bobby but it was still fun. She still wished Bobby would have let her set off the fireworks from the Huntr/x Tower roof though.

“These will have to do” Zoey sighed as she grabbed the hot dogs and their buns. Zoey could have cooked the hot dogs a normal way, on their grill or the stove, but the ever growing grumble of her stomach forced her to do something faster. She could eat them straight out of the fridge, they were already fully cooked, but Zoey decided she wasn’t going to be that much of a menace tonight. She would microwave them.

Within a couple minutes the industrial smell of slightly overcooked hot dogs filled the kitchen. Did the hot dogs explode a little in the microwave? Yes. Does that matter to Zoey? Hell no.

Three bare hot dogs laid on their buns staring back at Zoey, like Rumi’s muscular back but without her beautiful patterns. Something was missing.

Just then a short chime filled the kitchen and the slight glow of the honmoon shined behind her.

“DERPY!” Zoey squealed, wrapping her arms around his fluffy blue fur. “You think my hot dogs are missing something too? What should I add buddy?”

To Zoey’s surprise, Derpy actually seemed to respond to her question and turned his big head to look at one of the top cabinets, if you could call what his misaligned eyes were doing looking. Zoey has never opened that cabinet, one of the many burdens of being the short one. Without much regard for her own safety Zoey jumped up onto the countertop.

Curiosity never killed the cat, right?

“Okay Derpy lets see what you think should be on my hot dogs!” Zoey announced to the mute tiger below her. And all that was in this cabinet was… peanut butter? Where did this even come from? Zoey hasn’t had peanut butter in years, and she knew for sure Mira and Rumi never touched the stuff.

“Derpy why in the honmoon do you want me to put peanut butter on my hot dogs?” Zoey giggled out. He just stared back at her with that blank expression. His last brain cell was probably used up just picking out the peanut butter. The honmoon sent him for a reason though right? It didn’t lead her wrong with Mira and Rumi so of course it would be right about food.

After taking a quick moment to decide how she would add the peanut butter to her hot dogs, she chucked it into the microwave to make a crude peanut sauce. The, now considerably more runny, peanut butter glistened in a strangely captivating way as Zoey poured it on top of her hot dogs. Maybe it was her stomach withering away from starvation or some honmoon hallucination, but it actually looked good, she could feel the saliva building up in her mouth.

“Derpy, Honmoon, I’m trusting you with this one. You better not have ruined my only food” Zoey threated the animal/magical barrier she would never actually hurt. She cautiously took a bite of her hot dog.

And…

It wasn’t actually that bad. The peanut flavor mixed surprisingly well the salty beef(?) of the hot dog and its saucy texture was actually working.

“You know what Derpy it’s not bad, it’s a little rich though” Zoey admitted while scratching behind the tiger’s big soft ears. “It needs something to cut through, something to freshen it up you know?”

She knew Derpy had long stopped thinking as his brain was already fried from finding the peanut butter. Zoey quickly scanned the counter tops looking for something to salvage her late night experiment.

“Soy sauce?”

“No, too salty.”

“Sesame oil?”

“No, too oily.”

“Sussie sitting on top of a bottle of balsamic vinegar?”

“No.”

“Wait…”

“Sussie how long have you been here?”

Sussie rolled her six eyes and audibly sighed.

“Hold on… BALSAMIC VINEGAR! THAT’S JUST WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR! Sussie you’re a genius!” Zoey squealed as she ripped Sussie’s bottle perch out from under her. Sussie, in a definitely annoyed but still nonchalant fashion, made her way over to Zoey’s shoulder.

“This is going to be perfect! I can feel the honmoon buzzing in my bones already!” Zoey was already sprinkling drops of the balsamic onto the hot dogs. The droplets sparkled like a newly discovered oil pool against a sandy desert; it made her feel weirdly patriotic.

The first bite was everything Zoey expected and more. She felt like she was Emile learning about actual food from Remy for the first time! The nuttiness of the peanut melded beautifully with the strong beef flavor and the smooth fruitiness of the balsamic. Salt, savory, sweet, and sour danced around her mouth in perfect harmony, like their choreography for “What it Sounds Like”. The creamy velvet of the peanut butter coated her mouth in flavor. She could swear she could see fireworks explode in front of her and the honmoon warm her the same way Mira and Rumi did. She was in heaven, a hot dog supernova.

“Thank you honmoon I will never doubt you again” she practically sang out to the magical barrier with tears in her eyes. Before Zoey could even walk to the kitchen chairs, she had already down two of the three hot dogs. She was definitely addicted.
Before she took the first bite of her last hot dog a thought popped into her mind. She should troll the shit out of Mira with this.

“Mira is going to have an aneurysm when she sees this.” Zoey laughed as she took a quick photo of her remaining hot dog. She mindlessly opened twitter to post the picture to her private account with the caption:

“Since my girlfriends have abandoned me this is what I have to resort to to survive😭”

Zoey cleared off her plate like a vacuum; the last hot dog was just as good as the first one. Her rebellious stomach now satisfied, Zoey turned to go relax.

“Come on food baby its time to go take a nap on couch until your mamas come home” She giggled affectionately rubbing her now slightly bloated stomach. She curled up underneath Mira’s fuzzy pink blanket on the couch. Derpy quickly joined her, loafing right next to her legs. Zoey put on her sleepy turtle playlist on the tv and closed her eyes. She couldn’t wait to see Mira and Rumi’s reactions to her private tweet.

At least she thought it was private…