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Three To Tango

Summary:

Steve is sure he's made a mess of things

Notes:

1) There are a total of ten words of dialogue in this fic.
2) I wrote this fic because I felt like it.

Work Text:

Disclaimer: Must I? Y'all know they're not mine, because if they were, I would be posting the vids on YouTube

**********

It begins when Steve McGarrett hits puberty and his libido can't decide if it likes boys or girls.

It comes to a head in adulthood when he discovers he is torn between Catherine Rollins and Danny Williams.

He loves Catherine. Yes, they begin as fuck-buddies, using each other for physical release, but over time it's grown into something much more.

And then Danny enters his life, all ties and button-downs, waving his hands when he speaks and ranting about everything that comes to his mind. Steve is enamored of the mainlander and it isn't long before he falls in love with him.

It takes Steve months to admit it to himself and one day they're watching football, and Danny is on a major rant about the Jets and Steve kisses him just to shut him up. Danny responds by staring at him as if he's insane and Steve is sure he's made a mistake.

And then Danny kisses him back, and suddenly they're in Steve's bedroom and they're naked and touching and moaning and fucking, and finally, they're confessing their love for one another.

But Steve is not ready to give up either one of them - they each fill a part of his life in a different way. He knows it's wrong, that it might backfire on him, but he takes that chance and manages to date both of them by juggling his schedule. It's killing him physically, and he nearly gets caught more than once, but he's a stealthy SEAL and covers his tracks like the pro he is.

It's by pure accident that Danny and Catherine discover they share the same lover.

~~~~~~~~~~

They're in the card store a few days before February 14th, and they recognize each other. After they make their purchases, Danny asks her to lunch.

As they sit at an outdoor cafe, Catherine congratulates him on his recent promotion to Lieutenant. She tells him that she is no longer serving on the Enterprise and has taken a full time position at Pearl.

Danny in turn asks if she's a full Commander yet as she deserves it, and, nodding to the card she bought, casually mentions that he's glad she's found someone new, and adds that Steve has been well.

Catherine is confused; she hasn't found anyone else. She and Steve are still going strong and are very happy. She knows he's busy with 5-0, and that's why he only sees her on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and every other Sunday.

Danny chokes on his beer and Catherine pats him on the back, asking him what's wrong.

Danny tells her that he and Steve have been seeing each other for almost four months, but now he knows why they only get together on Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and, yes, every other Sunday.

They proceed to curse him, but that doesn't last long. Before they know it they're waxing poetic about him, everything from the standard (his smile, his tats and his love for all things that include pineapple) to the sexual (his muscular biceps, that lewd thing he does with his tongue and his filthy mouth).

Neither wants to give him up, they both love him, and both narrow their eyes at the same time, deciding on the same thing; they begin to conspire.

They're going to fuck with Steve's head, but not for too long...maybe a couple of days. That's more than enough time to make the SEAL into a complete wreck.

Oh yeah, this is going to be fun. Before they part ways they discuss one other thing and agree to meet the next day.

Danny returns to HQ and mentions that he ran into Catherine and leaves it at that.

Steve stands in the middle of the 'war room' for a few minutes before his legs will work. He enters Danny's office and asks what they talked about, but Danny just shrugs - "This and that." He isn't worried; if Danny knew, he would have no problem telling Steve off. Steve sort of laughs, and backs out of Danny's office, not seeing his partner send a quick text. Danny is rather smug - Steve's laugh is clearly nervous.

Steve returns to his own office and gets a call from Catherine, who is rather chipper, and tells him the same thing Danny did - they met, had lunch and talked. Since Danny mentioned that he's seeing somebody, she suggests they double-date. She then asks if she can see him that evening, even though it's Wednesday. Steve quickly tells her no, that he has a meeting with a Captain at HPD and hangs up, the cogs in his brain beginning to spin.

Danny enters Steve's office and tells him that they can't see each other that night because of something with Grace's school. He sits in Steve's lap, facing him, and nuzzles Steve's neck, blowing in his ear, grinding his crotch down and softly moaning. Danny wants to know if they can get together the next night, even though it's Thursday, and he'll make it worth Steve's while.

Steve's more than a bit surprised as Danny has always made it a point that personal and professional lives are to remain separate - at work, they are Commander and Detective. But rules can be broken and Steve whimpers as he feels himself getting hard. He can't help the moan of, "Oh fuck, Danno," when Danny twists his nipple through his tee and meets Danny's lips in an open-mouthed, wet and completely salacious kiss. He does manage to squeak out, in between breaths, that he can't, because he has a meeting with an Admiral at Pearl. In reality, he's afraid Catherine may show up unannounced. Pushing Danny away, he further explains that he has paperwork to catch up on, and with great reluctance shoos Danny from his office, closing the door and lowering the blinds. Once hidden, Steve buries his face in his hands and wonders how he got himself into this mess. No, he knows how and blames his heart, along with his dick.

And now that he's in it, up to his eyeballs, he has no way to get out of it. They both know, he knows they know, and as to why they haven't told him, he hasn't a clue.

Steve goes home alone and paces throughout his house, before taking out a 6-pack of Longboards, a bottle of Johnnie Black and a shot glass, and sits out on the lanai, staring out over the ocean, his brain running a mile a minute, wondering how badly he has fucked things up. In the span of 2 hours, 41 minutes and 17 seconds he finishes the beers along with a few shots, and then he experiences a never-before-felt sensation: pure panic.

He's sure he's going to be: A) dumped by both of them, B) beaten to a pulp, C) humiliated, or D) A, B, and C. Steve is so certain of one of these options happening that in his inebriated state, he composes a letter to the Governor, resigning his position from 5-0, and then emails his (ex) superior at Pearl, advising him that his resignation was a mistake, that he wants to be reinstated, to go back on active duty and ship out to Bora Bora or Fiji or, even better, take a post on a submarine under the Arctic Circle.

Following this he goes to the bathroom and makes love to the porcelain God before passing out, half on the bed and half on the floor.

On Thursday morning Steve is not only hung over, but he's also an emotional disaster, and he arranges his schedule so that yes, he does have meetings all day and can avoid Danny at the office and Catherine on the phone. At the end of the day he feigns exhaustion (and is surprised Danny believes him) and manages to get home where he can hide. He doesn't even realize that he has not mentioned his (supposed) meeting at Pearl.

Danny and Catherine meet for dinner that evening and decide that it's already enough - Steve is walking on glass. They discuss their plan in detail, knowing it will work if they approach it the right way.

~~~~~~~~~~

Catherine is on duty Friday morning when the message for Admiral Greenway comes in; it somehow gets lost before it is forwarded to her superior.

Steve's resignation letter to the Governor ends up stuck in a stack of folders which he leaves on his desk, where it is found by his partner, who shreds it.

Danny sends him perverse emails (with naked photos no less) and Catherine makes obscene phone calls.

Steve goes home at four o'clock and doesn't give any excuse; he flees like a bat out of Hell.

At 7pm there's a knock on his door and he opens it to find Catherine and Danny there.

Danny and Catherine confront Steve, who admits that he's forgotten what it's like to be loved and he doesn't want to lose that. In running away, he can keep that feeling in his heart and mind and at least pretend it still exists.

Needless to say, his lovers are nearly floored by that admission from the (usually) reticent SEAL - the key word being nearly.

They have a few drinks (the hard stuff - Danny takes out the tequila) and Steve is called every name in the book and then some, including "fool," "imbecile," "jerk," and "asshole."

Steve apologizes and hopes they can someday forgive him and learn to love him again.

Catherine and Danny casually shrug, sit down on the couch...and start making out right in front of him.

Danny gets aggressive and literally rips Catherine's shirt off, holding a piece in each hand before he tosses them aside. He goes for her bra next and after fumbling with the clasp for a minute, simply pulls until it snaps.

Catherine grabs Danny's shirt by the lapels and pulls; the buttons scatter all over and she's pushing it from his chest, her hands grabbing wherever they can reach.

They both kick off their shoes and Danny pushes her on her back, takes down her skirt and gropes her through her underwear, feeling the wetness beneath the silk fabric.

Catherine in turn grabs his crotch and squeezes, undoing the button of his pants and lowering the zipper so she can fit her hand inside.

Danny stands for a moment so he can get them and his boxer-briefs off, but once he's naked he doesn't even get a chance to move back to the couch - Catherine is kneeling before him and swallowing his cock to the root.

She's feeding on him as if he were her last meal and he's holding her by the hair and fucking her mouth and she's grabbing his ass and urging him to come with her soft moans.

Steve is dumbstruck, his mouth hanging open. He's frozen in place, but gets so turned on that he comes in his pants like a horny teenager.

Danny's shooting his load before he knows it and Catherine is swallowing what she can and when he lets her go she gasps for air, licking her lips of his come like a cheap whore. She then wipes her mouth on Danny's underwear, picks up the bottle and takes a deep drink.

Catherine and Danny explain that they have had a long discussion and have come to a decision.

Steve prepares for the worst.

Catherine and Danny tell him that they're going to share him and that he has no choice in the matter. They also inform him that they are both moving in.

Danny tells him that he ran it past the Governor, who doesn't give a flying fuck, and Catherine handed in her resignation to the Navy, because even though there are no military rules about this sort of thing, with her luck they would make one.

Then they attack him, pulling him off his feet and he lands on the couch, flat on his back. Steve is stripped of his clothes in less than 60 seconds and Catherine is riding his face while Danny is sucking him deep, getting him hard again. Steve's vision blurs and his head swims and he's spurting all over Danny's face and drinking Catherine's sweet come, while Danny is coming by his own hand.

Danny kisses Catherine and then he kisses Steve, and then Catherine kisses Steve and begs for more.

The two men are (almost) down for the count, but Catherine isn't at all. She moves to the recliner and swings each of her legs over an armrest, one hand spreading herself, the other teasing her clit. She rubs at it, her come glistening in the light of the room and she gradually pushes her fingers inside as deep as she can and brings herself off again.

Steve's now ready to go one more time and he drops to his knees before her and tears her hands away, burying his face as he eats her out.

Danny kneels behind him and his fingers join Steve's mouth, slicking them with her come, using it to open Steve for his newly swollen cock. He's never had three erections in such a short time frame, he didn't know it was possible, and if things keep up like this he'll be dead by the age of 40. But he's not 40 yet and Steve's ass is ready for him and he's inside, fucking Steve hard and deep, and Steve's feeding on Catherine's pussy and pinching her breasts and the three ride the crescendo of another orgasm before collapsing in a heap.

It's Danny who finally moves, stumbling to the kitchen and returning with a wet towel, cleaning them off and suggesting that they all move somewhere more comfortable, like Steve's nice, big California King.

Steve gets to his feet and gathers Catherine in his arms, carrying her upstairs.

Danny's distracted by Steve's ass and walks straight into the wall, but he's thankful they don't notice.

They're all in bed, Steve and Danny on the outside, Catherine sandwiched between them.

She's reaching around and fondling both of them, but they each take hold of a hand tightly, advising her that they are done.

Steve's resting against her back, Catherine's lying against Danny's and that's how they fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

When they wake in the morning, Catherine wants some more, but Steve needs caffeine and Danny needs to get Grace. He is more than agitated when he realizes he has to explain his new living arrangements.

As parents sometimes do, he underestimates his child.

Grace has wanted a Step-Steve forever and a Step-Cathy is cool, too, and since nobody has ever told her that a polyamorous relationship is not the norm, she accepts it without a second thought.

Danny worries how his ex-wife will take it, but as with most things, Rachel takes it in stride, there are worse things that could happen - in fact, they have recently. She's always liked Steve and when she finally meets Catherine, Rachel warms up to her immediately.

Danny and Steve wonder why Rachel is so readily accepting, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and then Rachel tells them about a few of her own family members, the ones Danny never met. When you have an uncle who lives on a nude commune, a great-aunt with three husbands, and a cousin who's an S&M porno queen, nothing shocks you anymore.

Chin, Kono and Jenna think it's great also - Steve's a little more mellow now; he only threatens to fold, spindle or mutilate perps once, maybe three times a week instead of the usual 5-6, he hasn't dangled anyone off a roof in nine days and he's only caused one explosion since they all moved in together.

Secrets are no longer kept by Danny or Catherine, but they know Steve still has some, and over time they discover a few things that Steve has kept to himself....

FIN

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