Chapter Text
I remember that letter clearly; it arrived on September 8th, a day before his birthday.
The house was filled with oppressive silence, only the quiet sound of the kettle breaking it. Every evening I spend sitting alone in the kitchen. Once, we used to gather here as a family, but after my father’s death, everything changed, leaving only me and the silence.
And then there was a knock.
Reluctantly, I approached the door; whoever it was, I wanted them to leave as soon as possible. Behind the door was a familiar postman; he quickly handed me the letter and disappeared into the night darkness. I immediately recognized the letter; it bore the seal of a black raven – the symbol of the Blackhall School, where my brother Rin studied. He used to send them to me every week, which was more than allowed. But for a month, my mailbox had been empty.
The Blackhall boarding school for troubled children... Someone had called it a paradise on earth, but that person clearly didn’t know what paradise was. Rin wasn’t supposed to be there; it was... a mistake. Yes, it was a mistake...
“It doesn’t matter, just open the letter.”
Taking a deep breath, I finally opened the letter.
September 8, 202X.
Dear Mrs. Itoshi,
I would like to inform you that due to the fact that Rin Itoshi can no longer continue his studies according to the standard program, a place has become vacant for your eldest son Sae Itoshi to take. He should start classes as soon as possible, tomorrow the staff will be sent to accompany Sae to our school.
Sincerely,
Ego Jinpachi, the headmaster."
I threw the letter aside as if it had burned my fingers. He can no longer continue his studies. What does this even mean?
More and more questions were arising in my mind. I had stopped receiving letters from Rin a month ago, and now I was being asked to take his place. Picking up the letter, I ran out into the garden, where my mother was sitting on a bench. After my father’s death, she seemed almost unlike herself.
"Mom."
"Ah, it’s you, Sae. I didn’t notice you come in, dear."
"You got a letter from…"
I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence before my mother interrupted me.
"It’s from Rin, isn’t it? How I wish I could take him from there. If only that were possible."
A sad smile appeared on her face.
"No, they want me to go to 'Blackhall' and take his place."
The smile instantly vanished from my mother’s face; now I could see only the growing despair with each passing second.
"What? But why, what happened to Rin? Sae, you must not go there, I won’t let you!"
I handed her the letter.We both understood that we couldn’t refuse, but in reality, I was more worried about my brother. If he had been suspended from classes, why wasn’t he home yet? With these thoughts, I silently left the garden and headed to my room.
I pulled my white suitcase out from under the bed and hastily began packing my belongings, of which I had very few: a comb, metal hairpins, and a thin chain with a pendant in the shape of half a heart, the other half was with Rin. We had bought them about ten years ago when he was very little. Then I threw some underwear and my best suit into the bag, understanding that I would most likely not need it, that at Blackhall I would have to wear the school uniform,I took it anyway.
That was all.
Sitting on the bed and staring at the floor, I tried to convince myself that everything would be fine.
“Everything is all right. You have absolutely nothing to fear. The place you are going to is a school. Just a school.”
September 9
Inside the car, there was the smell of leather seats and the cigar the driver was smoking. Outside the windows, dark fir trees loomed, as if pressing closer with each passing meter. I sat in the back seat, clutching my knees with my fingers and trying not to think about what would come next. During the entire ride, night had fallen, and the car slowly approached the destination along a long driveway.
The driver smoothly stopped the car.
“Don’t tremble; Blackhall is the best place for instilling discipline. It will do you good,” he said coldly, without even turning his head. I had nothing to reply.
I observed the man’s profile—motionless, as if he were a wax figure rather than a living person. He wore an impeccable black suit, and the collar of his shirt was sharp as a knife.
At that moment, a terrible screech of metal sounded, so prolonged that it sent chills down the spine. Heavy metal gates adorned with an image of a black raven slowly creaked open, revealing a massive building with dark towers and windows as narrow as slits. It seemed too large to be a school and too isolated to be an ordinary building.
"Welcome to Blackhall," said a short young woman with short brown hair, opening the car door.
"My name is Anri Teieri, I am the administrator of this school. Come on, I will show you your room."
The moment I stepped onto the path leading to the main entrance, I felt a gaze that seemed to fall from every tower at once. The school had a strange property—it felt as if it were watching. It seemed that every stone there had eyes.
The corridors inside proved to be even gloomier than the building’s exterior. I could barely make out the ceiling; it was too high, and the wall sconces could barely provide any light. Old photographs of graduates hung on the walls—stern-looking young men, all with identical expressions. Expressionless, like masks.
“You will be accommodated in his room on the third floor,” said the administrator, walking briskly, her heels echoing sharply on the floor. “Since you arrived after the main group, we have no spare rooms.”
I tried to walk calmly, but my heart was racing. Several times my gaze caught the cameras. They were everywhere.
The administrator noticed my anxiety.
“It’s for safety. Children sometimes... break the rules.”
The tone of her voice suggested that the breaches here were not just reprimanded.
Room 307 was at the end of a long hallway, which was too quiet. Even for nighttime.
"Your roommate, Shidou Ryusei, is already inside."
The administrator slightly lifted the corners of her lips, but it didn't look like a smile, and she left without waiting for any questions from me. I watched her go for a long time. Her walk was straight, almost mechanical. As if every movement was pre-programmed.
I opened the door.
Inside, it smelled of something chemical. As if everything had just been wiped down with disinfectant. Across from the door, behind bars, was a small window. On each side of it were two beds, and a boy was sitting on one of them. When I entered, he looked at me. Blond hair fell in straight strands over his forehead. His unusually bright pink eyes looked at me intently, examining, as if he had been waiting for me for a long time.
"You're Sae."
He didn't ask. He just stated it as a fact.
"Yes, and you are..."
"Ryusei."
He smiled slightly, but the smile didn't look genuine. Something twitched in my chest. The feeling was strange, but I couldn't explain why. No one here smiles for real.
"I've been waiting for you," he said, as if reading my thoughts. "The administrator said you'd be arriving late."
"And she... is always like that?"
Ryusei tilted his head, showing with his whole demeanor that he didn't understand what I meant.
"Like what?"
"As if she's watching over you."
He chuckled softly, but the laugh sounded somehow sad.
"You'll get used to it."
We talked for a short while, but there was a hidden tension in every word he said. He asked clarifying questions. Where I was from, what my habits were, what I was afraid of, and what I dreamed about. It seemed strange to me, but his voice was captivating, making me answer.
When I started unpacking my things, Ryusei came closer. Too close. I felt the warmth of his hand on my elbow and an inexplicable heat under my skin.
I stepped back. He looked at me as if studying my reaction.
"Sorry, sometimes I forget that not everyone is used to contact."
"It's okay," I said, even though I couldn't really believe it.
We went to bed around midnight. For a long time, I couldn't fall asleep. In the darkness, I could hear his breathing. Sometimes it seemed to me that he wasn't sleeping but listening to every movement I made. And when sleep finally overcame me, I heard in a half-dream him whisper
"Welcome back."
Back?
I wanted to ask, but then I sank into the darkness.
September 10
I wanted to open the window as much as possible to let in the fresh morning air. But my attention was caught by a piece of paper wedged under the windowsill. The handwriting was sharp and uneven, barely readable, but somehow it seemed familiar to me.
If you’re reading this—I’m no longer here.
Don’t trust them.
Especially those who are close.
R.
Rin. The name hit my memory like a hammer.
“What’s this?”
Ryusei stood behind me so quietly that I didn’t hear his footsteps. His gaze flicked to the paper. I crumpled the note; for some reason, I instinctively knew I shouldn’t show it.
“I don’t know, just trash.”
He stared so intently that I held my breath, afraid to reveal the truth. But in a moment, that same fake smile touched his lips.
“Alright. Shall we go down for breakfast?”
I nodded.
But all the way I kept thinking about the strange note, about Rin, and about what Ryusei had said last night.