Chapter Text
It’s late, almost midnight when they arrive, but she’s waiting on the porch for them.
When Leo had comm’d her, asked if it was okay if he and some of his friends could come and stay for a few days, she’d thought for a few beats he was joking. She knew he’d eventually make his way back for a day or two, most likely with Jim in tow, but that was all she ever saw of his Starfleet life.
But there’s a shadow in Leo’s eyes, a darkness that wasn’t there before, that tells her this last mission was unlike anything that had come before.
The shuttle craft lands on the pad at the edge of the property, and she stands as the door creaks open. Then he’s there, Leo, her baby boy, and she holds out her arms as he jogs down the dirt drive. “Hey, Mama,” he says softly as she wraps her arms around him and holds him tight.
“Leo,” she says, her voice cracking a little.
“I’m okay, Mama,” he responds immediately, and she huffs out a disbelieving laugh against his skin. “Well, I’m back on solid ground at least.”
“That I’ll accept,” she teases, mopping at her watery eyes and taking his face in her hands to really look at him. He looks worn down, uneasy, and fundamentally tired, and she can’t help but remember back to when David was sick. What happened up there, she almost asks, but holds her tongue, because even if Leo wants to tell her, this isn’t the time. Leo seems to sense the question anyway and steps back out of her arms. She lets him move away.
“James Kirk, you get up here this instant,” she calls, and Jim steps out of the group with a bashful grin, ducks his head like a teenage boy, and lets himself be pulled into a tight hug. If Leo feels tired, Jim feels far too frail under her arms, not just in weight but in attitude, and she wonders again what the truth is about what happened up on that ship. Not important, she reminds herself. He’s here now. Eleanor McCoy may not know everything about Jim Kirk, but she knows how her son looks at him, and anyone that can put the light back in Leo’s eyes like that is family to her.
“Thanks for letting us stay,” Jim says quietly, and she scoffs at him, like it was ever a question.
“Introduce me to your friends,” she says instead, but keeps him secure under one arm. She knows their names already from the news feeds, where they’re hailed as heroes of the fleet, but in person and out of uniform, they are look so young and, like Leo and Jim, so tired. She hugs each in turn and leads them inside the house, out of the public eye.
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She’s standing at the kitchen counter the next morning, absently stirring a bowl of pancake mix, when she senses movement behind her. Then a soft kiss lands on her cheek and she smiles. “Good morning, Leo.”
“Morning, Mama,” he says, his voice still rough from sleep. He reaches around her into the cabinet for a coffee mug. She hadn’t had any time to talk to him, barely had time to show them all where the bathrooms were before they were falling asleep in their assigned bedrooms: Leo in his old bedroom, Jim on the trundle beneath him; Spock and Nyota sharing the queen in the main guest room; Carol on the couch in David’s office; and Scotty on the couch and Sulu and Chekov on the floor of the den.
“Thought you’d be sleeping late, or I’d have breakfast ready,” she says, watches as a dark cloud moves across his face before he gives his head a short shake, offers her a brief smile.
“I’m sure everyone else will be sacked out for a few more hours, but I’m used to being up early to check on –“ His sentence comes to an abrupt halt and he looks down at the counter.
“To check on Jim?” she guesses quietly, gets her answer when his eyes shut for just a moment. “Leo, what happened up there?”
He gives a listless shrug. “You saw the feeds, Mama. You know what happened.”
She would scold him for lying to her if he didn’t look so damned tired. “I know what Starfleet says happened,” she says. “I don’t care about the top-secret details, Leo. I want to know what happened to you.”
His laugh is thin. “That’s the problem, Ma,” he says, his face twisting into a sardonic smile. He sits heavily at the kitchen table. “What happened to me is the top-secret details.”
She sits down next to him, lays a hand on his.
“He died, Mama.” Her eyes narrow, and she looks at him, confused. “Jim,” he says, and his voice cracks at the memory. “He died. They brought him in my Medbay in a body bag.”
She blinks at him. “Leo, Jim is upstairs, asleep in my guest room.”
“Which is where the top-secret part comes in.” He looks down at their joined hands, at the wedding ring she still hasn’t taken off after all these years. He takes a deep breath, thinks fuck it all to Starfleet and their security clearances, and tells her the whole story, about Marcus and Khan and the warp core and the serum he culled from a genetically-modified super-soldier so he could bring his best friend back from the dead. Tells her about the falsified report he and Spock submitted to Starfleet and the admiralty that doesn’t believe them and the Section 31 agents who have come to haunt their steps.
When he finishes his story, Eleanor reaches for him, holds him tight. He shakes under her arms, his breath coming in short sobs as the pain of it all comes pouring out at once. She realizes he’s whispering something against her shoulder.
“He was dead, Mama,” he whispers, and her heart breaks for him. “He was cold in a body bag and I never got a chance to save him. I never got a chance to say goodbye.”
“But you did save him,” she comforts him, soothing a hand through his dark hair. “Leo, you saved him.”
“But violating the most important oath I’d even taken,” he rejoins, a bitter note seeping into his voice. “For the second time.”
The memory of David’s death rolls through her and she shudders from the weight of it. “Don’t you dare, Leonard McCoy,” she threatens. “Don’t you dare bring your father into this. What you did for him was a mercy and you know it.”
“They’ve got it partially figured out, that there was some sort of serum,” he says hollowly, and she realizes suddenly the bigger implications of it all. “Section 31. They know the report is a lie and they want the serum so they can use it to create unkillable soldiers. So they can make themselves immortal.”
“But you said –“
“I destroyed it all, yeah. My notes and the samples and everything they might use. But what right did I have to do that? What right did I have to use it for my own good and mine alone?” He pulls away from her but she grabs his hand, forces him to stay at the table. “Who the hell am I to do that?”
“You’re a damn good doctor and a wonderful son and a friend,” she says firmly. “That’s what you are. You’re right, it’s not fair that you were able to save Jim when no one else will be able to do the same thing for their loved ones.” Leo winces against her words and she grabs his face, forces him to look at her. “But you were right to destroy it. You were right to lie. There’s no one that could be trusted with that sort of power.” She sighs. “That’s why you came back home? Why you brought them all here?”
He nods. “It’s my fault they’re all under investigation. I needed to get them out from under the spotlight for a few days. I’m sorry, Mama.”
“There ain’t nothing to be sorry about, and you’re not at fault for anything,” she says firmly. “I’m just glad you felt you could. You know your home is always open to anyone calling themselves your friend, Leo.” She sits back, looks at him with a critical eye. “But I think you’re using all this Section 31 mess to hide from something else.”
He gives her a sharp look that lets her know she’s hit a nerve, but just says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You didn’t get a chance to say goodbye,” she quotes back to him, and he looks away. “Leo, when are you going to tell him?”
“We’ve been over this, Mama,” he says, a sharp edge to his voice. “It’s not what you think.”
“Leo –“
They’re interrupted by the creak of a door and the sound of footsteps coming down the hall, and Chekov rounds the corner, clad in running gear. “Oh,” he says, clearly surprised they are there. “I was just going for a run. I didn’t realize anyone else was up.”
“It’s fine,” McCoy grunts, and Eleanor smiles.
“There’s a trail around the property,” she says, pointing out the window. “It should make for a good run without getting you lost. Back door will be unlocked.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
She watches from the window as he stretches for a moment, then takes off in a full run and disappears around the corner. “How old is he?” she asks, fascinated.
“Nineteen,” Leo says with a sigh. “Nineteen years old and at the helm of the Federation flagship.”
“You’re all so young to be where you are,” she says softly. “So young to have so much responsibility on your shoulders.” The ceiling creaks again as someone else rises and Eleanor sighs, shelves their conversation for another time. “Get me the butter, Leo. Time to make breakfast.”