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So hello there :)
I for one am having a interesting day, considering it is indeed 12 in the morning.
But that's beside the point, although do to the fact that my mind will not shut up, or shut off I have found you.
I will most likely regret this later on, as I do most of my spontaneous decisions, but anyway I have decided that I have a *great* idea! Then again I believed jumping off a ledge was a *great* idea and then ended with me tearing my ACl.
Sorry to ramble on, i am getting to the point. I think...
So I have an idea for a blog. The blog shall be "An inside look into the suicidal mind of a teen"
Catchy right? Now I am not confirming nor denying that I am either a teen, suicidal, or even human, because if do that puts some weird obligation on some people, something about morals, I don't know what they are, but to my understanding it's the opposite of fun.
But the following is the basic premise i guess.
Hey look you got this far so why not just keep going?
"Hey there Buddy, how's it hanging? I wish I was :) but hey let me tell you a thing or two.
When you want to die you stop caring about safety. Knives and pills are your best friends, even if it's an abusive relationship. You wonder if today is the day you truly stop giving a fuck and put a bullet in your head. Maybe it is. That be great
.
But life's a bitch as my uncle says "one day you'll have the gun, but no bullets. Then you'll get the bullets but you lose the gun. Even with death life fucks with you." He's a great man.
You wonder how you want to go, gun? Eh too messy. Drink filled with cyanide? Nah. Stomach filled with pills? Ha been tried that. That one was fun to explain to the docs. Maybe roof jumping, or suicide by cop. That be fun. Something crazy and fun, that's how i would. Well want.
You look at the world differently when you want to die. Like a smashed mirror put back together, it's never quite the same as before.
Ever wonder why a child is so fucking happy? Because they live in their own reality. But once you enter the reality of suicide and fuck yous' that happiness dissipated.
So this is a insight to the delightful world of the pessimistic and unhappy. So pull up a chair and open your ears I got a lot to say about everything"
So any how that's my *great* idea. Did you like it?
No, maybe, yes?
Get back to me with your thoughts if you feel like it, if not have a great life.
Signing off now,
J.H.W