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Cecilia did not sleep. She couldn’t, she was never made to do so. She could have been using that time that no human ever got productively. She could be working on the forms piled up on her desk, or organised Liz’s papers after she had recently gone into Emberfall… Instead, she lied in her bed. Her emerald eyes trained on the reason she could not bring herself to leave.
Honestly, she believed it to be a great shame how Gigi would never get to see herself like this. So dreamy, at peace. She reached a hand out to intertwine their fingers. Then again, she’d probably tease her half to death if that gremlin knew the thoughts that raced through her head every night. If only she knew the soft smile that broke out on her dolllike face as she felt her lover’s arms, so scarred by war and burned by forging, relaxed fully in her grasp. How her inky tail would unconsciously wrap around the both of them, refusing to let Cecilia leave the bed.
Gigi probably knew already, she reasoned. There was no way that girl didn’t know she didn’t actually have to lie here every night. But, how could she not stay? How could she miss seeing the soft surprised smile that always graced Gigi’s lips every time they woke up, early in the morning, to find her lying next to her? How could she not bear witness to Gigi at her most vulnerable, at her softest most unguarded point? The side only the morning could bring? No, she could never have left.
Course, she’d never say it aloud. Thinking about it was already embarrassing enough. But, she did hope that Gigi knew. She hoped that they knew, knew that they were the reason she never worked throughout the night. Knew that they were the reason she could, for a couple of hours, feel… human. She chuckled quietly at that. Her, an automaton forged from the ancient kingdoms guided by the Guardian herself, feeling human? Gigi was a terrible influence on her.
No, she’d have never traded her nature for anything. Not when it meant she could take the hits meant for Gigi, or by extension Raora and Liz. Not when it meant she could lighten the burden the kingdom lies on their shoulders. Not when she was the only one that could do what she does. She squeezed tighter, taking in the warmth of her lover as her mind calmed down. She would never trade being an automaton for being human. But on nights like this, where she could lie and memorize every detail of her lover. Staying awake while they slept. Despite feeling her lover’s warm breath and rhythmic heartbeat against her own quiet whirring. Despite the fact that her skin was porcelain, that her eyes were glass and her hair never grew. She felt more human, than she ever did.