Work Text:
Feng Xin doesn't know when it happened. He's sure it hasn't been like this from the beginning, but now, with Mu Qing pinned under him, his sweet angry omega scent wafting all around him and his body's solid presence, the truth reflects in Mu Qing's eyes.
"Get off of me this instant." Mu Qing snarls, confused by Feng Xin’s unreadable expression.
Feng Xin keeps staring into Mu Qing's obsidian irises, as if he hasn't spoken a single word, caught up in a daze.
Taking advantage of the other’s haze, Mu Qing frees one of his arms and hits him on the side of his head, hard. However Feng Xin is fast to react, capturing his wrists in a bruising grip and pinning them above Mu Qing's head, expression still unchanged.
"Let me fucking go!"
Mu Qing's scent is sour, angry, as every time they get into a fist-fight and Feng Xin finds himself basking in the familiarity of it. 800 years and it hasn't changed. He can sense the shift, when it's more like sour black cherries than the red juicy globes he has seen Mu Qing eat for as long as they have both lived.
More intense, penetrating, stinging and sharp like Mu Qing's Zhanmadao, his true essence.
It was like this before Xie Lian's first ascension and it is the same now, always the same.
Always.
"Have you turned deaf?" Mu Qing spits out, struggling to break free. Feng Xin doesn’t budge and, contrary to the countless times they’ve found each other in that situation, he doesn’t berate Mu Qing, nor insults him.
In an attempt to elicit a reaction from the other God, Mu Qing tries hitting Feng Xin's groin with his knees but fails. Instead, all he gets in return is Feng Xin dropping his whole body weight on top of him.
Mu Qing stops writhing, stunned by the sudden outcome and that's when he notices something's different. Feng Xin's scent is strange.
He still smells of dry leaves but, instead of the typical suffocating burnt wood, Mu Qing finds a sweeter, almost forgotten scent oozing from him.
Loquat.
Mu Qing tries lifting his head and examines the surrounding area in search of Xie Lian’s face but he’s stunned to find out they’re completely alone.
Why does he..? Why with..?
"Feng Xin, are you alright? What's wrong?" Mu Qing can't help but ask, for once unable to hide his concern.
Feng Xin's eyes are still in his.
And then his lips curve into a sad smile.
It has been a while since the last time Mu Qing has smelled loquat on him, although in the past the archer often carried that sweet scent whenever he was around Xie Lian.
"What's the matter?" Mu Qing presses on. He's aware his scent is losing the sour notes, reshaping itself to soothe the Alpha on top of him without his own volition.
"You know what's the problem, Mu Qing?" Feng Xin finally says, voice calm and resigned, before adding.
"One day, when I was Taizi Dianxia's bodyguard, he talked to me about a quiet hard working young man he wanted to introduce to his Guoshi, so they could train together."
Mu Qing feels a knot forming in his throat.
"I met the frail little thing and I saw how Dianxia's eyes sparkled when he was around. I didn't like it. I didn't like him. His whole demeanor, his weakness and his determination. I hated him, the way he stayed quiet when it was convenient for him, but also when others bullied him."
Feng Xin's look is serious as he carefully stabs Mu Qing with each and every word.
"But occasionally, with me.. he talked back. He opposed me, always. He was my enemy. Later on, when Dianxia ascended, despite his modest background, in the heavenly capital, we were equals. During the war against Yong'an, we fought side by side as Xie Lian's right and left arm. As part of the same thing."
Tears sting in Mu Qing's eyes, threatening to fall, but he's a God and he wills himself to hold them where they are. He doesn't know why Feng Xin is pouring out all his centuries-old hate for him now, what he has done wrong this time to deserve the extra harshness. He doesn’t even remember why they were fighting in the first place. And most of all, why he’s smelling of loquat right now. So he stays quiet.
"For a short period of time, he was my team-mate. There was no where I would go without him and no where he would go without me. Not because we cared about each other but because we had no choice. Because we both followed Dianxia. I hated him, because I knew he was there for power, using the crown prince as a stepping stone."
The more Feng Xin talks, the more Mu Qing looks defeated. He doesn’t reply, doesn’t shout, doesn’t try to punch Feng Xin anymore. His wrists relax under Feng Xin’s grip and he lets all his weight sink in the dust, becoming one with the ground beneath them.
"And then,” Feng Xin continues after a pause, “the prince fell and we fell with him and we shared struggles, hate and fear. We shared so much there was no line dividing us anymore. We were again equals in status, except he cooked and mended clothes like a servant while I became everyone's joke around the streets."
Feng Xin's grip on him loses its power but Mu Qing doesn't have any strength, or will, left in him to move.
"We shared so much and I still hated his guts, how he constantly forced Xie Lian to try and cultivate himself so he could benefit from Dianxia's second ascension, again. And when Xie Lian, always right, always sweet Xie Lian who had always tried to make us get along didn't listen to him, that boy left. He betrayed us and followed his own path. And I hated him. I hated him so much, for so long. Even after I found the both of us ascended, I thought of him as my worst enemy."
Any other day, Mu Qing would have accused him of leaving Xie Lian as well, that they were not that different.
"Please, stop.." Mu Qing pleads in a whisper, instead. It's too much hate to bear.
Like this, he’s finally hit rock bottom, he knows he can't take it anymore. It's not as if he doesn't know Feng Xin has always despised him, but hearing him spitting out all his hate like this is unbearable, for that heart full of love for the alpha is too much.
He’s always been used to everyone’s hate and ill opinions but Feng Xin’s hatred for him has a different weight.
Feng Xin, as he has been doing for the whole time, ignores his words despite his eyes never leaving Mu Qing's.
He instead brings a thumb under Mu Qing’s eye and wipes away a stray tear.
"Even after everything" he starts again "After all we've gone through, after all the unresolved misunderstandings.." Feng Xin smiles.
"Even after I've heard his words, his truths. Even now when he and I fight. In the worst moments and in the times of peace, there's something that, in 800 years, highs and lows, hasn't changed."
Mu Qing turns his head to the side, averting his gaze. He doesn't understand, doesn't know why Feng Xin's words are harsh but his scent is sweet. He feels as if he doesn’t know him, them, anymore, so full of contradictions they both are.
Tentatively, Feng Xin cups Mu Qing's cheek in his damp, dusty palm, forcing Mu Qing’s face in his direction.
"Mu Qing, look at me." The archer whispers.
He doesn't, too tired to fight his tears, Mu Qing lets them flow freely in a silent cry. He has never felt this powerless in all his life, nothing could have made him feel as defeated and broken as Feng Xin’s words right now.
"Please?" Feng Xin says as he rests his forehead against Mu Qing’s.
Feng Xin had always hated him. He knows what’s coming. In the end, Feng Xin’s problem, the thing that has never changed in 800 centuries, is his hate for Mu Qing. So what’s the utmost tenderness in his hands? At the unexpected plea in his voice, despite everything, Mu Qing can’t help but do the thing that, for HIM, has never changed in 800 years, HIS problem.
Turn his eyes in Feng Xin’s direction.
Mu Qing has never considered himself a true masochist but he must be one, to still fold like that at Feng Xin’s request.
The archer lifts his head and frowns, as if he’s trying to find the words, as if he hasn’t been talking freely, sharing his unfiltered feelings for enough time. Then, as he rubs his thumb under Mu Qing’s undereye, he breaks into a smile.
"From day one, the thing that has never changed is that..that boy, he has alway been "MY" something."
At those words, Mu Qing's stuttering breath gets caught in his throat. He has no words, no strength. No thoughts. He can't do anything but stare, cry, hope and drown in Feng Xin's calming Alpha scent.
The loquat scent Feng Xin was releasing for him.
"That boy, he has always been mine. Be it my enemy, my equal, my team-mate. But always mine. Mine, mine, mine. Do you understand?"
Feng Xin drops his forehead against Mu Qing, nuzzling their noses together while Mu Qing stays frozen, stunned by the sudden revelation.
"All I have left of my life, the one who knows my past, my present and I hope will know my future. Because even when I misunderstood him, even when I said I hated him, he was there, he was something mine. YOU are something mine, Mu Qing."
And so, Mu Qing finally drops all pretense and throws his arms around Feng Xin's neck, wrecked by unstoppable sobs and tears. Him, the great General Xuan Zhen, is a mess of snot and tears as he pulls Feng Xin against himself, shaking like a leaf.
"Alpha.." he whispers, after 800 years and more of keeping his feelings locked in the deepest part of his heart.
"Your Alpha" Feng Xin answers, burying his nose in Mu Qing's sweaty, dirty hair.
Mu Qing holds him tighter, his happy omega scent enveloping the both of them, finally living the life he has not even dared to dream before this day.
They stay like that for a while, scenting and nuzzling each other until they both calm down.
"Only an idiot like you could insult me before confessing." Mu Qing accuses, sniffling while trying to put himself together and get back to his usual dignified demeanor.
"I was not insulting you! It’s more like I was insulting myself for that distorted view I used to have of you. If it hasn't passed through your thick skull, I meant I love you." Feng Xin grumbles, as he snakes an arm around Mu Qing’s waist and sits both of them up.
"And what has prompted your only brain cell to figure it out while I was rolling in the dust?" Seeing how flustered and pouty Feng Xin looks, Mu Qing can’t help but tease him for a bit.
"Your scent, the way it has always soothed me..." Feng Xin crosses his legs and nervously tucks his fringe behind his ear. He suddenly looks smaller, similar to the young man he was before presenting, when Mu Qing first met him.
He snorts and buries his fingers in Feng Xin’s hair, combing it.
"I thought you've always found it infuriating and disgusting like its owner.” Mu Qing prods. Feng Xin almost gasps and, really, it’s an endearing sight, an occasion Mu Qing cannot waste.
"Never!” The archer hurries to deny.
"Liar."
"Okay maybe at first but just because I thought I hated you and it annoyed me that I actually liked your scent." Feng Xin mumbles and then, in a firmer tone, as if he has just realized something, he adds.
"But hey, don't you have anything to say to me?" He asks, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Me?" Mu Qing, ever the annoying little thing he’s always been, tilts his head to the side. Feng Xin has killed and brought him back to life countless times during their centuries together. Mu Qing thinks it’s finally time to make him go a little bit through it. He deserves it, after all the suffering he’s gone through.
"Yes, you." Feng Xin says, stubbornly looking at the Omega.
"Mh.. something to say"
"Yes." The archer presses on. He knows Mu Qing’s playing dumb on purpose.
"Like what?" Mu Qing asks, the picture of innocence and confusion. Feng Xin wants to strangle him and then squeeze him in his arms forever. That’s the effect Mu Qing has on him, has always had, now that he has figured out his own feelings.
"Like, I don't know, I love you back? Something along the line?"
"How are you so full of yourself.." Mu Qing snorts, faking disgust at Feng Xin’s self confidence.
"You're literally combing my dirty, sweaty hair with your bare fingers!" Feng Xin finally snaps, exasperated.
Mu Qing rolls his eyes, he can’t deny he would have never done this with anyone but the man he loves. He just doesn’t want to admit defeat so soon and, most of all, now that he has properly calmed down, he wants to know where Feng Xin’s confidence comes from.
After all, Mu Qing has been harboring those feelings for Feng Xin for so long, mastering the art of controlling his content Omega scent around the Alpha whenever they were together, so how has Feng Xin figured it out just now? What has given him away?
"But before that?" He asks. Because Feng Xin looked so damn sure of himself and Mu Qing’s feelings for him while he kept the latter pinned under him.
Feng Xin seems to hesitate, a tender blush spreading even more on his tanned cheeks and ears. Then, eyes darting everywhere but on Mu Qing, he says, "..I saw it in your eyes".
Mu Qing feels like his whole bones are melting at the sweetness of it all. He’s so happy, his Omega so satisfied, his heart so full that he thinks he’s about to lie there in a puddle and die.
"Ah, after 800 years he finally sees!” He blurts out, in the giddiness of the moment.
"Shut up!" Feng Xin groans, totally embarrassed, before realization hits him.
"Hey, what do you mean 800 ye-"
"Shut up you fucking idiot."
Not giving Feng Xin time to react, Mu Qing grabs Feng Xin's face in his hands and smashes their lips together.
One day, later or in a hundred years, Mu Qing will tell him of when he had started loving him. He will confess he also did not realize what those feelings were at first, that he also shared, although for a very short while, the hatred Feng Xin had once felt for him. It goes back to way before Xie Lian’s first ascension, after all, he’s really loved the archer for 800 years. However, that’s a tale for another time.
For the time being, he shifts his weight on Feng Xin’s lap, pouring all his love for the Alpha in their kiss and basking in the warmth of his Alpha’s touch.
In the air, their mingling scents smell like home, like they’ve always done.
THE END