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“It’s a boy!” the doctor exclaimed as instant relief washed over Donna. A high-pitched wail filled the room, and she felt the weight of their son being placed on her chest as she heard a chorus of “Happy Birthday, William!” and “Welcome to the world, mister!” from the nurses.
Tears spilled onto her cheeks. She felt Harvey’s hand in her hair at the back of her head grip a little tighter, and his lips came into contact with her forehead. Immediately, she pulled the infant closer against her—an instinct more than a conscious thought. The short, strong, and almost deafening cries of her son continued as he got acclimated to this new place called Earth. She felt Harvey’s head bob slightly, his tears falling onto her face as she heard sobs coming from him.
All of it was nothing less than absolute sensory and emotional overload, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.
“He’s here, babe. He’s really finally here,” Harvey whispered between kisses, lips still touching her forehead and cheek resting against her hair.
“He’s perfect,” she stated. Donna had feared she’d be a little freaked out by all the fluids and goop—as Harvey called it—that would be on Will when he first joined them, but all the other moms she had talked to about it were right. In the moment, you just don’t care. Everything personal about her had been on display for what felt like the whole world to see. What’s a little fluid and goop covering the most perfect and precious gift she’d ever receive?
As William felt her familiar heartbeat against him, his wails turned to whimpers, then to little exhales with a frown plastered on his face. He knew his mom was there, and he started to calm.
Harvey lifted his head from on top of Donna’s, looking toward her with tears still in his eyes, and lifted his hand to rest on Will’s back. “It looks like he knows his mom is the best at keeping the Specter emotions in check,” he said with a smile.
“We just had quite the experience together,” she said. “He can show as many emotions as he wants. Now and always.”
The nurses cleaned Will up a bit, Harvey cut his umbilical cord, and Harvey and Donna watched as his eyes opened for the first time. Will’s frown started to disappear, and peace washed over the boy.
Donna heard a nurse’s voice break through the sheer bliss. “I hate to interrupt this moment, but Dad, would you like to join me while we get this guy checked out?”
Donna saw Harvey look to her, and she gave him a reassuring smile—an okay for him to follow the nurse’s suggestion and get Will checked out.
As the nurse picked up the boy and wrapped him in a blanket for the walk across the room, Harvey brushed his knuckles against Donna’s cheek and gave her a kiss. He then moved to join Will across the way as he was already in a bassinet under a heating lamp.
Donna watched in awe as William wiggled around and wrapped his hand around the finger Harvey had offered to him. Her two guys were getting acquainted, and the phrase about having your kid ‘wrapped around your finger’ seemingly came to life in front of her. She knew it was a cliché to say her son was a “perfect baby” and her husband the “perfect dad,” but she had reason to think that was true.
Donna had always liked the classic names, the names everyone knew from their grandparents, and luckily, it seemed like Harvey did too.
The first time she asked him what sort of names he liked, it was purposely when they were getting out of the car and heading into the house. She didn’t want to make a big deal of it but wanted to wonder what he was thinking.
Harvey replied very matter-of-factly, without hesitation: “Whatever Maverick, Stella, Huxley, and Luna aren’t. Those names aren’t for a future lawyer or doctor. They’re names for a dog.”
“Our son can be whatever he wants to be, but your point is taken,” Donna replied with a smirk as Harvey unlocked the front door and asked her what she was in the mood for dinner, seemingly unfazed by her question.
For many weeks, Donna felt like they had only ruled out names and not gotten any closer to deciding what would be right for their son. They both agreed he should have a family middle name, partly because they both had family middle names and had grown to recognize their importance, but he should have his own first name. He also couldn’t have a name starting with H or D—that Donna was adamant about. Harvey had sensed a bit of her impatience, since she was due in seven weeks and their son was still nameless. As the process of pouring through baby name lists together got nowhere, Harvey suggested they each put together a shortlist of favorites and see if they had any matches in hopes of getting closer to a decision.
“Grant?” Donna asked. It wasn’t at the top of her shortlist, but she was strategically—or more accurately, hesitantly—safeguarding her favorite in fear that Harvey wouldn’t have it on his list.
“Nope,” Harvey replied. “Theodore?”
“No, I’ll just think of the chipmunk,” Donna stated. “Matthew?”
“I don’t hate it, but it’s not on my list. What about Edward?” he suggested.
“Same for me. I don’t hate it, but it’s not on my list,” she replied.
“It’s a shame you dated a Thomas because that’s really one of my favorites, but that’s been tarnished and not an option now,” Harvey stated. “What about William?”
Donna froze. She wasn’t sure if it was shock of amazement or shock of sheer joy that he had brought it up. “YES!” she nearly exclaimed but tried to keep it together, as she didn’t want to get too eager for fear he might change his mind. “William is my #1 choice. I hadn’t shared it yet because I was worried you wouldn’t have it on your list,” she eagerly said.
“William is the last one I had on my list you haven’t shot down yet. It wasn’t my #1, but it’s up there. I like it. I like it a lot,” he replied with a grin.
“William Specter,” Donna said aloud in front of her husband. She’d done it privately plenty, but this was the first time she muttered her son’s potential name aloud for anyone to hear other than herself and the boy in her belly.
“It’s strong, reverent, sophisticated, and normal,” Harvey replied, smile still plastered on his face. Donna had heard him describe names as “normal” and “weird” in recent weeks. Normal seemed to be his highest praise, and she was relieved he felt that way about her favorite.
“Does that mean he has a name?” Donna asked hesitantly, trying to keep her composure while soaking in the moment.
“I think it does,” Harvey replied. “What about his middle name, though? Because I have thoughts,” he said quickly, seemingly glossing over the fact that their boy had a name.
Donna smiled, replying, “And what are those thoughts?”
“I think I’d like his middle name to be Paulsen. He’s getting my last name, but you’re doing all the work. Plus, it’s not like there are other R family names to choose from to match ours, and we’re not cursing him with Reginald,” Harvey stated. “If that’s okay with you, of course,” he added quickly.
“Hey! I happen to like Reginald,” Donna said in complete seriousness, grabbing his arm. “But you have more experience with it than me, so I’ll trust you on that one.”
“James is also an option, but I worry your dad will view it as me just sucking up to him and buying his love through his grandson,” Harvey replied.
“He might feel that way about you and his grandson no matter what his middle name is, but I understand,” Donna said, laughing and shifting her hand from his arm to atop her belly. “I had Marcus and Gordon in mind personally, but I do like the idea of him sharing a name with me too,” she replied, smiling.
“So William Paulsen Specter?” Harvey asked.
“William Paulsen Specter. It just feels right,” Donna stated matter-of-factly, shifting her gaze from her hand on her bump to her husband’s eyes with a small smile.
“Will is okay. But never Willy or Billy, or even worse, Bill,” Harvey half-joked.
“I’m in full agreement, honey,” Donna replied.
She watched one of the grandest smiles she had ever seen on Harvey spread across his face as he reached his hand down and placed it next to hers on her belly. Fingers spread wide, he started rubbing his thumb back and forth across the surface as he slowly leaned his head down toward her bump, his face only a few inches away.
“Hey, Will,” he started slowly in a tone bordering on baby talk, but clearly filled with emotion and love for his son growing within her. Tears started to form in Donna’s eyes—seeing her husband become the best dad before their son was even born had been one of the greatest gifts she had ever received. “I’m so happy I finally get to call you by your name, buddy. It just got even more exciting that you’re going to be joining us in a few weeks,” he continued.
Donna watched as his eyes closed slowly and his lips made contact with her belly. She shifted her hand from her bump to his head and rested her fingers within his hair, playing with it slightly. She felt Harvey’s head turn to face her, eyes still closed, cheek pressed up against her, and their son. A tear fell down her face as she watched one of the most magical moments unfold, doing everything she could to commit every bit of it to memory.
“Harvey?” she said in a shushed tone to her husband across the room. He was sprawled across the hospital sofa, almost too tall for it, half asleep. His head turned slightly to face her, and his eyes slowly creaked open. “This isn’t William,” she continued in the calmest, most even tone he’d ever heard from her.
Harvey sprang up and rushed to her side—half unsure he actually heard what he thought he did, half to inspect the few-hour-old baby tucked in his wife’s arms. Donna saw his face go pale in the two seconds it took him to go from horizontal under a blanket to standing next to her.
“What do you mean?” he questioned. “They lost our son?” he emphasized with longer pauses between every word in a nearly panicked tone.
Quickly, Donna reached for his hand, and with a soft smile said, “No, no. Honey, no. This is our son. He just doesn’t look like a William.” Perhaps her original statement wasn’t her most graceful wording, she thought.
Donna watched the color slightly come back to her husband’s face as he let out a slow exhale. “Babe,” he started, “you know Specter hearts aren’t the best, and you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re already in a hospital then,” she smirked.
“Haha, very funny,” he said sarcastically. “But what makes you say he’s not a William? Was the Donna Paulsen Specter wrong? I’m making note of this,” he quipped, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s the most perfect and precious boy in the entire universe, but as we’ve been sitting here together getting to know each other face to face, there’s just something about him that doesn’t feel like a Will,” Donna explained. “I guess I’m having second thoughts on our choice,” she said almost shyly, looking up toward him.
Donna watched as her husband’s mind processed her statement. His face went from concern to a look she maybe recognized as relief. She wasn’t entirely sure how to read his emotions before he spoke—that was unusual.
“Well, if I’m being honest with you,” he started, “I had the same thought earlier when I was looking into his eyes while you were getting cleaned up. Something about him tells me William isn’t the name for him. And exclusively calling him Will, or even God-awful Bill like a 75-year-old man, won’t change that feeling, I don’t think,” he explained.
Donna felt a wave of peace wash over her. This wasn’t going to be as difficult as she feared. All her stress over how to share this revelation with her husband the last hour wasn’t necessary.
“What does he look like his name is then?” Harvey questioned. “Because William was the only first name we had agreed upon, and it took us 32 weeks to get there.”
“I know we said we wanted to only use a family name for his middle name, but I think I’ve changed my mind. He is the most Specter-looking boy I’ve ever seen, and I’ve had the pleasure of seeing many baby pictures of the Specter men,” she stated. “He deserves a name that reflects that.”
She paused and continued to look at the infant nestled in her arms. He had the most perfect round cheeks, the most wonderful button nose, and the softest downy blond hair peeking from underneath the hat he had on. He was better than her wildest dreams, and she couldn’t imagine loving him any more.
Harvey shifted slightly and rested his hand on top of their boy, swaddled tightly and sleeping soundly in his wife’s arms.
Donna shifted her gaze from their baby to her husband, tears once again filling her eyes. Harvey’s eyes were still locked on their son, but she could tell he noticed that she was looking at him now.
“I think I want to name him Gordon,” she nearly whispered.
She watched as Harvey’s eyes slowly rose from the baby to her. He had another look on his face she couldn’t read. She started to wonder if she had lost her ability to read him—if Will, or whatever his name should be, stole it from her when he became his own person a few hours prior.
As Harvey’s eyes met her own, she saw they were glassy, and he was clearly holding back tears. “You’d really want to name him after my dad?” Harvey questioned, sounding more in shock than anything else.
“I do,” she replied sincerely, trying to keep her tears at bay. Seeing him tearing up made her tear up, even without all the hormones coursing through her body. “I can only hope that he’s going to love you half as much as you’ve loved your dad. And I’m sorry your dad won’t ever get to meet this little guy,” she said, stroking her son’s round cheek. “I personally can’t think of a better way to honor him.”
“I’d still want his middle name to be Paulsen. That way he has some of you, some of me, and some of the man who was rooting for us like no other,” he replied. Hand still resting on the baby’s swaddled chest, he started to squeeze just slightly, almost like a cat making biscuits in a blanket. “Just when I thought this boy would be the greatest gift you’d ever give me,” his tears started to flow, “it somehow got better. If that’s really what you want, and you think he looks like a Gordon, I think it’s perfect.”
“He definitely looks like a Gordon. Do you agree?” she asked.
“Yes. I think he does,” he smiled. Donna watched as he looked back toward their son, and a smile lit up his face through the tears. “Hey Gordy, sorry I’ve been calling you Will all this time, bud. But your mom and I apparently needed to see your cute little face to be sure we knew who you were,” he spoke toward the boy. Donna brought her other hand to her husband’s cheek, pulling his focus from the boy back toward her.
“I love you, honey. And so does little G here too,” Donna said, bouncing Gordon slightly in her arm, making sure to emphasize just who she was talking about, even though there was zero question.
A while later, as Donna’s eyes were closed in an attempt at sleeping for a few minutes after nursing Gordon, she heard mumbles from Harvey. She peeked her eyes open and saw him leaning back on the couch, knees up and their son nestled against his legs, looking up at his daddy—they must be having a conversation. She quickly closed her eyes again, hopefully before Harvey noticed. Not that she was trying to spy, but if she was lucky enough to observe the beginning of this father-and-son relationship, she was going to take it.
“Well, Gordon, I’d keep you to myself forever if I could get away with it, but I think others will get jealous,” Harvey spoke in a hushed tone to the boy.
“I texted your Uncle Marcus that you had arrived, and he’s been messaging me ever since, asking when he’s going to get to see your face. I think maybe it’s time for you two to meet. How does that sound, buddy? Like the idea?” He paused as if waiting for a response. “I do too.”
Donna heard shifting and figured he was reaching for his phone. A few moments later, she heard the FaceTime ringing sound.
The ringing stopped, and she heard an almost immediate, “There’s Dad!” Her eyes didn’t need to be open to know Harvey was beaming.
“Hey Marcus, how are you? What’s up?” He played dumb and spoke with a teasing tone with his little brother.
“Harvey! C’mon! I’ve been patient! Let me see the little guy! It’s been hours and I’m dying to meet him,” Marcus said over the phone in a tone that could only be described as begging.
“Jeeze, okay, okay. Glad to know I’m worthless to you now,” he joked. It got silent for a moment or two—she figured he must have been switching the camera off selfie mode to the one on the back of his phone.
“Oh my god! Harvey, he’s perfect. Like literally perfect,” she heard her brother-in-law say, and right he was. “You and Donna did so well. How is she doing? How does she feel about the fact she carried him all that time and he has your entire face?”
“She’s sleeping right now, or at least trying to. She was incredible, and today just showed me another way I can be amazed by her. Her patience and strength were unlike anything I’ve ever seen in my life,” she heard her husband say. He had told her that at least 15 times the last few hours, and she was beginning to believe him. “It’s hard to look at this face and not want 100 more, right? And thanks for, in a way, calling me perfect with the whole ‘you have the same face’ comment,” Harvey said with a laugh.
She heard, “Are you going to finally tell me his name? I’ve been waiting two months now!” from Marcus.
“Well, it’s good we didn’t tell you because he got a new name about two hours ago,” Harvey said. “Marcus, meet Gordon Paulsen Specter. Gordon, meet your Uncle Marcus.”
The room fell silent. Donna heard a heavy exhale from her husband and a matching one from his brother.
“Harvey…” she heard, along with a sniffle over the phone. “Dad would be so happy,” Marcus said.
“I know. He would,” she heard her husband say with a shaky voice.
“So if his name changed, what was it before?” Marcus asked.
“It was William, but Donna and I decided he didn’t look like a William,” Harvey replied.
“No, you’re right. He has a Gordon face, not a William face. But I thought you guys weren’t doing a family name?” Marcus questioned.
“We didn’t plan on it, but Donna suggested it when we decided he didn’t look like a William, and I know better than to question my wife,” Harvey replied with a chuckle.
“You’re a smart man, Harvey, and Gordon is beyond fitting for him. I can’t wait to meet him in person. And I know his cousins are very, very excited to meet him too,” Marcus continued.
“If Donna’s asleep, I’ll let you go. Don’t let me be the reason you wake her,” he added.
“I’m awake, Marcus,” Donna replied across the room, and Harvey’s head turned to meet hers, a slow smile creeping across his face.
He stood and walked toward her, phone in one hand and Gordy in the other, getting into the bed in the space Donna had shifted over for him.
“Oh Donna, I’m so happy for you guys! He is perfect!” Marcus stated, elongating the spaces between the last three words.
“That he is. We’re very lucky he chose us,” she replied. Their son started to fuss, and Donna took that as her cue that he was hungry again.
“Oop—I know what that means,” Marcus started. “I’ll let you guys go and deal with that. I’ll plan to talk to you soon, Harvey. Good job, Donna. Love you guys.”
“I’ll plan to call you tomorrow, Marcus, but I’ll send plenty of pictures between now and then,” Harvey promised.
“Thanks, Marcus,” Donna replied with a smile.
As Harvey hung up the phone and Donna got herself and Gordon situated, Harvey tried to start to stand and give her some room.
“Don’t. Stay right here. I want to snuggle with my guys,” Donna said with a squeeze to his side.
This was what she had been waiting her whole life for.