Chapter Text
James Potter hated Igor Karkaroff, since the Bulgarian arrived at Hogwarts he detested him. Karkaroff an exchange student from Durmstrang came to study in the sixth year and he was perfect in everything, as soon as he arrived at school he became the subject of the moment and was soon showing that he was great in the subjects, us dueling and Quidditch, the teachers loved him and Igor was the type who wasn't afraid of the so-called Marauders - and he had that damn accent. The boy was sorted into Slytherin, and just after 3 months he became captain of snake Quidditch, everyone around him was fascinated by the young player - the very existence of the Bulgarian pissed off James Potter.
It all got worse when he saw Karkaroff with none other than Severus Snape, that was the last straw for Potter and he didn't know why just looking at the two of them TOGETHER hurt so much. Severus and Igor ended up becoming close and it irritated him, they walked up and down the castle and always together with Snape's friends: Regulus, Narcissa, Lucius and Barty. A while later, a rumor started at school that Snape and Karkaroff were dating, the gossip started after someone saw the two kissing in the stands of the Quidditch pitch. After that event James began to notice the couple much more than he should, where they appeared the boy stared at them - in classes, in games, in the great hall, in the garden. They were there, cuddling, kissing, whispering and flirting. Just seeing the lovebirds together made him feel queasy and wanted to fly on top of Karkaroff and take his damn smile away, it all got worse when he saw Severus's smile and laughter and his sighs for the stupid Bulgarian. His friends told him to put all that aside and that it was just rivalry, but the worst since he appeared Snape stopped paying attention to the Marauders and mostly ignored the existence of James Potter - this pissed him off to the core and he didn't know why, he doubted it. it was in his head.
But it was in one of the potions classes that James and Severus ended up being paired with that Potter realized why he hated Igor so much. He wanted to be Karkaroff, he wanted Snape all to himself. All those years of teasing him was simply to get his attention - the jokes and anger at being with Lily was pure jealousy. James remembers when he first met Severus Snape, he had never seen anyone like him, black hair, pale skin and red lips. Snape was the first to ignore him, the boy wasn't afraid to say that Potter - he was annoying and all his attempts at friendship were failing and that pissed him off, so he saw the only way Snape paid attention to himself was through the pranks and irritation. He never liked Evans, it was always Severus Snape. Now he knew about his obsession with Lily, the girl was everything to Sev and James WANTED to be that everything to the boy - he wanted to be Lily Evans, this obsession blinded him to what was in front of him and he ended up missing the opportunity.
Butts. James, what's up. We're all worried about you. What's going on, please stop crying. - asked Remus Lupine, a long time ago he had noticed that James was distant. But when I found him there crying with the Map in his hands and in tears, I knew that Potter had finally come to his senses.
Do--- to --- please---please. Take this pain out of me, this damn love - said James crying, the only thing Lupine could do was hug his friend.
It's okay, Jay. Cry is good cry.
No, it's not okay. It hurts so much, it's not fair. I'm an idiot, an imbecile. Because I haven't seen it before, because. - Potter reciprocated Lupine and cried on his shoulder.
James Potter didn't hate Igor Karkaroff, he wanted to be Igor Karkaroff. He wanted to be the one Severus would love, the one he would kiss, hug, laugh, love.
He would never know what it was like to kiss Snape, what it would be like for him to smile or the beautiful sound of his laugh and how it would feel to touch him.
It took him so long to realize that he ended up missing opportunities, wish he could go back in time and go to the day they recognized each other and change everything.