Chapter Text
Waiting drives people mad. Waiting too long numbs you to the core. Some wait in places where even the stars forget to shine, while others forget the concept of it. Nothing will change, they say. Everything will forever remain the same, they say. Waiting does not exist.
“I’ll wait as long as I need to.” Ena had stood on the rooftop. That same rooftop that remained empty, save for the silent presence of Mizuki and Rui. Mizuki wasn’t sure what it entirely meant. She had waited all her life. She had given up when she realized it was all going to be a waiting game. Waiting just for acceptance.
The roles were now reversed. Ena would wait, and Mizuki would be the one making her wait. She wasn’t sure for how long. Maybe it would be a couple weeks, maybe some months, a few years, or maybe forever. Would Ena ever stop waiting, Mizuki wonders. Ena is impatient, Mizuki knows, but she wants her to keep standing by as long as Mizuki is here. She doesn’t want to tell Ena, but she also doesn’t want her to find out by herself. It’s weird how one person can make everything so complicated even when it’s supposed to be smooth sailing.
Here in this school festival, all Mizuki has to do is speak the simple words. Mizuki has to spend the day with Ena, and end it with what she has been keeping in all this time.
Mizuki sits in her class, thoughts crashing around the walls and coming back right into her head. Ena will be free of her class duties any minute now.
The clock ticks. The sound of footsteps, and Mizuki feels sweat drip down her forehead. It’s hot. Way too hot. The footsteps get faster and a student runs by. Mizuki lets out a sigh of relief. A sigh of relief? Relief towards the fact that those footsteps weren’t Ena? Relief towards the fact that she doesn’t have to see Ena just yet? Mizuki curses herself a bit at the thought. She drowns out the noises, but it’s all water through a sieve.
Another set of footsteps, and this time the class door opens. “Mizuki.” The ever sweet voice calls out. The same voice that has been waiting so long. The same voice who doesn’t know what to expect. The only voice that will know her today. “You don’t have any more duties, right?” Ena speaks, and Mizuki breaks out of her thoughts. She shakes her head, putting on a smile.
“Nope. All done for the day!” The voice in her head comes out cracked, but she stands up nonetheless, stretching her limbs with a tired hum. She looks up to see Ena leaning against the doorframe, smiling. “Are you done now?” Mizuki can’t help but give her own smile in return.
“Yup. All done.” Ena moves away from the doorframe, making way as Mizuki makes her way next to her. “Did it all go well?” Mizuki asks, closing the door and turning back to Ena.
“Good enough, I’d say.”
“Just good enough?” Mizuki repeats, eyebrow raised to get some sort of reaction from Ena.
“Yes. Just good enough.” She bumps Mizuki’s shoulder with her own, laughing. “I still can’t believe this is the end, though.” Ena lets out a small yawn, looking at Mizuki from the corner of her eye.
“I wouldn’t call it an end.” Mizuki looks briefly towards Ena before turning her eyes back to the empty hallway. “I’m still here for another year anyway. And we can go to festivals together once you’ve graduated.” She turns again to look at her again, flashing her the same smile that always manages to come out.
The hallways are empty now. The craze of indoor activities has long since died down. Some students still sit in empty classrooms, and it’s kind of odd to look at. A classroom that’s supposed to be a haunted café is now occupied with three girls dressed as animals. The decorations peel off from the ceiling, and the cheap lights flicker a bit more before finally meeting their end. There’s still some lingering scent of coffee and cakes, with the rest of it smelling like…nothing. It’s weird; how all of it is already ending.
Ena is talking about something, and the dying, aureate light from the huge windows is resting on her face. Occasionally, posters hung from them block the sunlight, and Mizuki squints her eyes to readjust herself to Ena’s face. The sunlight then pours again, and Mizuki slowly gets used to it.
She’s not sure what she’s replying with, now aware of the fact that Ena’s braid has come undone and how her hair looks fuller and messier than usual. Strands poke out, and Mizuki does her best to not disturb the flow of conversation.
It’s getting chilly as the sun goes lower. Mizuki lets her eyes wander down to Ena’s arms; her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, her fingers and palm covered in different shades of paint. They look awfully cold and dry. “Where’s your blazer?” Mizuki speaks once Ena has finished, and it’s like Ena finally realizes the thing she had been forgetting.
“Ugh right. I left it in my classroom.” Ena grumbles, pulling her sleeves down as she feels the slight chill. Mizuki feels a bit disappointed. She looked nice like that.
“Should I go get it for you?” Mizuki suggests, but Ena is quick to decline the offer.
“It’s fine, I’ll get it. Wait for me.” Ena runs off into the other direction. Mizuki laughs to herself with the way she does more of a speed walk rather than running.
The hallways have gotten awfully orange-ish. But this too is nice, in a way. Almost everything is nice in some way. She pulls out her phone and points it towards one of the windows, focusing it on the sun that looks like it’ll fall down any second now.
It all seems fine like this. Maybe she can keep it like this forever. Maybe, once again, she can wait for Ena to get back as she’ll take pictures of the sunset. Maybe Mizuki doesn’t have to tell anyone anything.
“Hey, look at him taking pictures again.” Snickers a voice from somewhere next to her. A voice she doesn’t want to recognize. Multiple voices she never wants to hear. She quickly shoves her phone back in her pocket, plastering on that same smile that fools everyone but herself. She turns to face them and speak something, but all that comes out is a crooked “Huh?”
Something rises in her throat, threatening to spill out if she opens her mouth again.
“What? Going non-verbal on us?” One of the boy speaks, turning to his friend to laugh for a moment. Mizuki wants to speak. She needs to speak something, anything that will make them go away, but the only thing she can do is feel her stomach turn on itself, feel her organs forcefully displace themselves into places they’re never meant to belong in. It’s all in her throat. She coughs, and it rises again. A single movement, and she’ll be left with nothing else to do.
It’s all spinning. Some student is getting closer to her, but she can’t see who they are. She can’t hear their voice. “Don’t tell us….friends with…that guy…” The boy speaks again and she wishes to do something to shut him up. “Huh? What are you…” Another voice answers the boy. A much more recognizable voice. Mizuki is clutching her stomach, but before Ena can finish her sentence, she grabs onto Ena’s hand, running away with whatever speed she can find in herself.
“H-hey, Mizuki!” Ena pulls her hand back from Mizuki’s grasp, concern washing over her as she sees the colour that has all but completely left Mizuki’s face. She quickly strides towards Mizuki, grabbing Mizuki’s shoulders. “Mizuki! Are you alright? Did something happen?” She’s louder than she’d like to be when talking to Mizuki, but it’s all she can do for an answer.
Mizuki brings her hand up to her mouth, forcing herself to swallow whatever is in her throat. It really isn’t getting better. It can never stay the same, Mizuki has now realized. Something will always change. Something will always take a turn for the worst, whether she likes it or not.
She nods, and Ena slowly lets go of her shoulders. “What were those guys even talking about...” Ena turns back to look at the hallway, making sure they hadn’t followed them.
“It wasn’t…it’s not something that…” Mizuki looks Ena in the eyes. For the first time since the day started, Mizuki actually looks her in the eye. Ena isn’t waiting anymore; she’s concerned. There’s concern in her beautiful sun kissed eyes and it’s all Mizuki’s fault.
The speaker rings out in the hallway and it tells the students to start packing up. “We…we haven’t gone around yet.” Mizuki changes the subject, but every inch of her is aching. She hasn’t even done much, but her body aches like it’ll break down with a single gust of wind. If Ena keeps looking at her any longer, she’ll break down.
Her face is hot, her sweat is cold. She feels cold and it’s so awfully hot. “You’ve gone pale, Mizuki. You aren’t in a position to go around the school right now.” Ena reaches out her hand and takes a step closer, letting her hand rest on Mizuki’s. It’s too much in too little time.
Mizuki takes a step back and pulls her hand back towards herself—much harsher than she had hoped.
Ena must have figured it out. She’s not stupid, Mizuki knows. Mizuki knows Ena must have heard those boys back there. Why is Ena not saying anything? Why is she just standing there, hand clutched close to herself?
“What those boys said back there…is that what you wanted to tell me, Mizuki?” Ena is still looking at Mizuki, and Mizuki is doing the exact opposite. Anything other than Ena will keep her going right now. She can’t raise her eyes, but she has to answer soon. Ena won’t leave without an answer now, not this time.
“That’s…” Mizuki mutters, gulping again, but it’s all useless now. “It’s true.” She manages to speak out, and still their eyes never meet. “I’m not…what you think.” Then she looks up at Ena, and it all comes back up. Mizuki brings her hand back up to her mouth, coughing into it. Something wants to come out, but it’s too stubborn. It makes Mizuki wait, and then it never comes.
Ena takes a step closer on instinct, but Mizuki has pulled away. She has pulled away enough so that Ena doesn’t reach her. She has pulled away enough so that she can’t properly see Ena’s eyes.
Once Mizuki has pulled away enough, she turns her back to Ena, and runs.