Work Text:
“Why don’t you get your own life and stop following me around all the time, huh?” said Denji with his arm around his new girlfriend, Reze. His cruel words still stung Beam to his core even as he was remembering them now. All the shark fiend wanted was his idol’s praise and affection. But all Denji ever seemed to care about were girls. Beam thought that maybe if he got a girlfriend too, Denji would respect him more.
“Yeah! That’s it!” Beam decided, “I will get my own life!” He swam through the streets like a shark in the open ocean, hunting for his prey, the perfect woman to be his girlfriend. He’d have to pick a beauty with a heart of pure gold. That would surely impress Denji, Beam thought.
After searching and searching, at last, Beam found her.
“Ahhh!”
You were just waiting at the bus stop, minding your own business when suddenly you noticed a small blackish devil looking up your skirt! And you sorely reprimanded him for it too.
“Pervert!” you cried. Abased, you stomped your heel right into the creature’s thick skull.
“Ouchie!” he whined pitifully. “I-I wasn’t peeping! I swear!”
“Hold on… You can talk?”
Before your eyes, the devil grew taller, then he emerged from the solid pavement as if it were made of liquid. It had just rained an hour ago but you didn’t think the puddle he was standing in was that deep!
“That really hurt,” said the devil sorely. He was towering over you, shirtless, feeling the sizable bump on his eye-less, torpedo-shaped forehead. Your anger and confusion quickly turned to abject horror.
He was the shark fiend!
You stared at him, at his musculature. He was built like an Olympic swimmer! You’d never been this close to a devil—fiend, whatever. And this one could kill you in an instant and feel no remorse at all! You knew you should run but your legs wouldn’t budge. You had a deathly fear of sharks, ever since you were a little girl and had seen Jaws at the cinema with your parents. You were scared to death of the ocean too, of swimming, of scuba diving. Then you remembered something. A trick that divers sometimes used to distract sharks. You were dead either way so why not try it?
“Stay back…!” Bravely, you reached out your hand and flattered your palm against the shark fiend’s pointy snout, surprising yourself by how rough and coarse his skin was there.
“Wha…?” The fiend appeared taken aback by your physical touch. He stood completely still. It was working! But you were trembling all over. You’d gotten a look at his sharp teeth, his bulging muscles—glistening with wetness.
Actually…
The shark fiend was kind of hot.
“Gah!” You withdrew your hand almost as soon as you felt him lean into your touch more, afraid he was going to bite you.
“Hey, why’d you stop?” asked the devil, his voice gentle. “You’re scared of me, aren’t you? I can smell your fear.”
You looked at him, puzzled and a little embarrassed. “You can smell it?” you asked quietly. “Is it that bad?” You gave your pits a discreet sniff.
“No…!” the fiend said at once. “Not really. It's just the electrolytes in your sweat.”
“Electrolytes?”
“Yeah. You know, like salt and chlorine…”
Rather than let yourself be further unsettled, you were actually kind of fascinated to know this. A dog’s sense of smell worked much the same way and you loved dogs. Weren’t sharks also called dogfish?
“Hey, that’s pretty cool you can smell that,” you said, warming up to the devil some more.
He staggered back a bit, saying, “Really? You think so? Wow…” Seeing as you were smiling, the shark fiend smiled back, showing off his rows of pearly whites. “I’m Beam! What’s your name?”
You gave Beam your name and he repeated it back to you as a question. Then he cleared his throat and said: “Will you go out with me please?”
“Huh?!” you exclaimed in confusion. “Like… on a date?”
“Yeah,” said Beam, rubbing the back of his neck. You watched shamelessly as his muscles flexed in the process. His hairless chest and arms were impressive to say the least. What were you saying? He’s a devil!
“Uhh… that’s a little forward. Anyway, I'm a human!”
“Yeah but…” muttered Beam, “I think you’re cute…” You blushed at his flattery, making Beam grin with confidence. “You’re super cute!” he declared more assuredly. “Just wanna carry you around and show you off to all my friends!”
“What the heck?” you laughed, cheeks burning.
“So you wanna go out with me?”
“Okay, sure,” you relented at last.
“Yes!” Beam cheered with both fists in the air. It was really cute seeing how excited he was that he’d gained your favor. Sharks really were just like water puppies.
“C’mon,” said Beam, coming closer to you, “I know the perfect place!”
“Wait, you mean like now—!?”
Beam suddenly grabbed you around the waist, lifted you effortlessly to his shoulders. Then he sank beneath the surface of the sidewalk and swam off with you in tow.
“Are you crazy?!?” you yelled. Your thighs reflexively clamped around the shark fiend’s neck, hands grasping for purchase—you settled on using Beam’s hair as reigns, his shark skin felt scratchy like sandpaper and was unpleasant to touch.
“Slow down! Where are you taking me?!” you shouted admonishingly.
“Fish!!” Was all Beam said.
You would end up at a tiny little seafood bar. Some hole-in-the-wall, rinky-dink place tucked away near the docks. It was a nice shop though, clean and the seat cushions were soft. You were seated comfortably while Beam ordered off the menu. He was clearly a regular here as the staff were not bothered by his devilish appearance. You’d heard of “good” devils being indentured by Public Safety and wondered if perhaps Beam was one of them.
“And what will you have, Miss?” asked the waitress. You hadn’t so much as glanced at the menu.
“Um. Just water for me,” you replied meekly.
“What? You sure?” asked Beam, offended. “I’m buying, so order whatever you want!”
“Okay… uh, what do you recommend?” you asked the waitress. She was an older woman in her golden years. You looked toward the bar while she spoke of today’s specials. An older man was there busy chopping fish. They must’ve been a couple.
“Sounds great. I’ll have that. Thank you very much!” You quickly handed the lady your menu and she went away bowing.
“So, do you come here often?” you asked Beam, making conversation.
“Yeah,” he said. “When they give me money to spend. I like to spend it on food.”
“They? You mean Public Safety?”
“Woah!” exclaimed Beam, mystified. “How’d you know that? Are you psychic?”
“No,” you laughed, “just a wild guess... Thank you.” You thanked the waitress who had returned with a glass of water for you. You took a sip from it and continued on. “It was pretty obvious actually,” you told Beam, “since you didn’t immediately try to eat me and all...”
“Oh. Right,” Beam said thoughtfully. “But still! You’re really smart. You remind me of Denji a little…”
“Who’s Denji?“ you asked.
Beam went on to tell you about his partner Denji, how he’s the “great and powerful chainsaw man.”
“He’s got chainsaws for hands and one coming out of his head too!” Beam said with great animation. “He can fly and he can slice through anything. Even whole buildings! This one time we were fighting this devil—oh, thank you!“ The old lady had appeared with a plate of fresh sashimi “on the house” for Beam. You thanked her as well and Beam continued on after the lady had gone. “It was a huge devil! Strong too. But Denji took it down no problem! I helped too but he’s so awesome.”
“Sounds like it,” you agreed idly, watching Beam tip his plate back and gobble down all the raw fish. “Wow. You must be hungry,” you remarked at the spectacle.
“Starving,” corrected Beam, chewing.
You laughed some more at the mess he was making of himself, charmed nonetheless.
“I’ve never met a devil like you before,” you said. “You’re kinda...” Beam stopped chewing for a second. “I dunno,” you went on, “you just seem to really enjoy hunting devils even though you are one,” you said, getting serious all of a sudden. “Doesn’t that bother you? Killing your own kind?”
“Nope,” said Beam, itching the crown of his head near his dorsal fin. “I kill who they tell me to. It’s easy!”
“Here you are. Enjoy.” The old lady had returned with your plate of onigiri.
Both you and Beam thanked her, then proceeded to laugh at yourselves.
“You’re very polite, you know?” you pointed out. “At least, for a devil. Hey, you were born out of people’s fear of sharks, right? Isn’t that how it works?”
Beam thought for a moment then nodded.
“I see. Seems I was wrong about sharks this entire time…”
“Huh? What do you mean?” he asked.
“I always thought sharks were just these mindless eating machines that terrorize the seas.”
“Well—”
“But you’ve proven otherwise!” you interrupted resolutely.
“Oh…” Beam blushed a little.
“I mean, just look at you! You’re a total cutie-pie!” you said, making Beam giggle in embarrassment and delight of your praise. It was adorable.
“Hehe… Does that mean you like me?” he asked, bashful and smiling.
You nearly choked on a piece of seaweed. “Yeah, I guess so,” you said after recovering.
Beam beamed at you.
“Cool! I like you too!” he said. “Wanna be my girlfriend?”
“What?!”
Now you really were choking.
You didn’t expect Beam to ask you that so soon. Especially on a first date! Having known each other for a solid twenty or thirty minutes at most. And yet here he was attempting to give you the Heimlich.
“Is everything alright here?” asked the old lady with only mild concern to see Beam with his arms around you, squeezing the air from your lungs and dislodging the piece of pickled plum stuck in your throat. You coughed fiercely and Beam gave you room to breathe, scowling at the old woman.
“You tried to poison my adorable girlfriend!” he accused with misdirected anger at your self-inflicted distress.
“Oh my.” The old lady didn’t seem phased at all. But you were inclined to apologize for Beam’s rudeness.
“It’s my fault, I swallowed too soon. We’re very sorry to trouble you, ma’am.” You bowed to the older woman who started clearing your plates unbothered.
“No trouble,” she only said with a calm smile on her wrinkled face. This old lady was tough as nails. She must've been used to serving all kinds in this rough part of town.
“You sure you’re okay?” Beam asked, facing you.
You pacified him by placing a hand gingerly on his cheek. “Yes,” you said. “And yes, I think I will be your girlfriend actually.”
“What? Really?!”
You nodded with a smile.
“Yippee!” Beam leapt for joy. “Haha! I did it! I got a girlfriend! My very first one! Haha!”
Beam’s happiness was contagious. You’d taken the bait and now your heart belonged to him.