Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

They were friends.

Just friends.

And Sana would be first in line in any argument about how alphas and omegas can’t be friends, ready to argue about how that simply wasn’t true; in her life she had maintained friendship with many omegas, just look at Momo, at Mina even!

She and Mina were nothing but friends.

And the fact Mina was the nicest smelling, sweetest, prettiest omega she knows doesn't change that.

Just meant she had eyes and a working nose. It was factual. Her mina was perfect.

Nor did the fact that sometimes, especially closer to her rut, she would sometime will get these waves of emotions, hormone-caused, strong and senseless, the type that made her feel insane, that were always suddenly, somehow, soothed with a long hug from Mina, or cuddling in the couch during one of their nights together.

They were friends. That was all. And maybe Mina being an omega made her body react a certain way sometimes, but it didn’t matter; She wasn’t an animal, biology didn’t dictate how she felt or how she acted.

So, Sana and Mina were friends.

Had been for ages really; she had met Mina in college, during the omega’s first year; she was shy and quiet and Sana immediately took it as her mission to make sure she made friends.

And she had succeeded; Mina who had started with one friend—her roommate, Chaeyoung, a music major who Sana more often than not only saw at the smokers lounge of parties—quickly got integrated into her friend group.

Sometimes Sana wished she hadn’t though.

A lovely as it was to see the omega get more outgoing, more comfortable in a large group of people, laughing at jokes, or just making casual talk; it had also, eventually, come to Sana’s attention that she wasn’t the only one with eyes, and other people in their friend group also thought Mina was sweet and insanely pretty. Sana could see it, the looks that lingered, the blushes…

Not that it mattered, of course, since they were simply friends. That had nothing to do with Sana. And honestly it’d probably do good to Mina to be in a relationship, she deserved it more than anyone.

Even so, Sana kept track of it. Out of protectiveness, of course, after all even if Mina was more popular now, it was a new thing for her, it’d also do her good to have someone looking out for her.  

She didn’t really have much to worry about; there were only a few.

There was Tzuyu, a quiet alpha in college, friends with Mina’s roommate, who tried asking Mina out, but happened to do so in an innocuous way where Sana’s best friend didn't even notice it was a date, and that she was being flirted with.

Then there was Juyeon; an alpha who Mina met at her internship. She had been more direct, more insistent—more pushy, in Sana’s opinion, entitled even—and had actually dated Mina. For all of three months.

It had been the most annoying three months of Sana’s life.

Smelling another alpha on Mina, seeing marks on her skin that had never been there before. It irked her in ways she could not put into words. To her, Mina was too good for a relationship like that; too simplistic. It wasn’t good enough for Mina.

And in a way that probably had been the start of Sana’s downfall; when she started thinking of Mina as an omega with all that the word carried.

Juyeon broke up with Mina after four months; she didn’t really give a reason apart from claiming she didn’t think they’d work out. And Sana had an inkling that it had something to do with the fact that on most days, Mina smelt more like her than like her own girlfriend.

She had almost felt guilty about it. But she didn’t; it wasn’t like she did it on purpose, she’d never consistently sabotage Mina’s happiness, and the omega hadn’t even been that heartbroken when it happened; she had shrugged, said it wasn’t a big deal and then cuddled Sana on her couch while watching a John Wick movie.

After that there were no romantic endeavors in either of their lives for a while. They graduated, got jobs, and their friendship stayed the same—perhaps it was different enough, in the sense that their friendship group changed too much after they graduated; there were people they didn’t see anymore, or people they only say once in a while, it was only them that stayed the same. They were close; they had weekly routines, dinner and movies and sleepovers. And it all felt right; waking up in Mina’s bed, eating her food.

It was good; it was easy.

It made Sana lower her guard.

Park Jihyo was beautiful, strong and smart. She worked at Sana’s marketing firm. They were in different departments but got along enough to often have lunch together, most often than not joined by Chaeyoung. 

She was also chronically single. 

It was a side effect of their schedule really; Sana could relate to it, she knew full well how hard it was to make the time to meet someone; she was all for letting her vent during their quick lunch breaks, nodding sympathetically while the alpha recounted another failed date with yet another omega Chaeyoung set her up with.

They had a little group; the three of them didn't have a lot of alpha friends, for various reasons, but had stuck together at work. Sana had helped Chaeyoung get hired—a favor to both Mina and Momo, more than anything—and then Jihyo found her way to their duo; somehow they had a good friendship.

“Oh, come on!” the youngest of the three complained, somehow looking just as youthful as in the days when she was Mina’s roommate. “She’s not that bad! Sana, tell her!”

She would, but she had not been paying attention to the conversation at all.

“I’m not saying she was bad!” Jihyo interjected. “We’re just not a good match. At all.”

“It was one date!”

“And I could already tell we don't fit!”

“I’m sorry, who are we talking about?” Sana finally asked for clarification, feeling a headache incoming from trying to follow the conversation. She had honestly just lost track of the amount of failed dates Chaeyoung had set Jihyo on; why she still even accepted her help was beyond her.

“Nayeon,” Chaeyoung said, nonchalantly.

Sana stopped, her fork full of salad halfway through her mouth. “Im Nayeon?” it couldn’t be. “Lawyer Im Nayeon?”

The shortest alpha nodded, “Yeah. ”

“What the fuck?”

Im Nayeon was a friend of theirs from university, closer to Momo than anyone else, she, was a party girl, an omega with a with a huge ego and a predisposition for trouble; she was possessive and loved to talk, and as much as she was fine as a friend, or maybe even romantically for some people, Sana had no idea what was going on in Chaeyoung’s mind to set her up with Jihyo of all people.

“What? It was Momo’s suggestion.” Chaeyoung defended herself. “And I’m running out of options here, I don’t know. Opposites attract or some shit.”

That isn’t opposite, sana thought, but was still too aghast to say, that is two fundamentally different people.

“That’s it.” Jihyo sighed, putting down her chopsticks and unscrewing her water bottle. “I give up.”

“Come on,” Sana said, sympathetically, "I'm sure you’ll find someone, have you tried dating apps?”

“I have, but people are so weird,” she pouted, “and it's so impersonal, you never know who you’re really talking to.” She took another swig of water “Not that I even care that much anymore; I'd even take a casual hook up at this point.”

Sana was of the opinion that casual hook-ups would probably be greatly beneficial for Jihyo, she thought so as a friend, and mainly as a coworker. But she didn’t say so, just gave her an understanding smile.

She should have noticed Chaeyoung was too quiet; it was never a good sign. When the alpha spoke again Sana had a mouthful of lettuce with which she almost choked on at the words.

“What about Mina?”

The words seemed to reverberate in the surrounding air, causing ripples. At least Sana thought so, while trying to discreetly cough on a napkin.

“Sana’s girl?” Jihyo frowned, confused.

“She’s not my girl.” It was a habit to blurt it out. They were close friends and people assumed things way too often. It always pissed her off, the assumption that as an omega Mina must belong to the closest alpha she had in her life, as if it was unavoidable.

“They’re just friends.” Chaeyoung said. She had an expression on her face of someone who had made a plan and was determined to see it through. She looked at Sana, dead in the eye. “How long has it been since she dated someone? Momo says it's been a while.”

“It has.” Sana agreed, not liking where this conversation was going. 

“See, two birds one stone.”

Jihyo wasn't all that convinced, picking up her chopsticks again, moving her food around.

“Just try one date, come on,” Chaeyoung kept going, “Can’t be worse than Nayeon.”

“That’s not a fair comparison.” Once again it was instinct that made her feel like she had to defend Mina’s honor. She was definitely not worse than Nayeon.

Her quip made Jihyo look straight at her, eyes full of something Sana didn’t quite recognize, but still it affected her how raw and honest it seemed. 

Hope?

“You don’t mind?” she asked, “Me going out with your friend?”

And what was she supposed to say to that and still seem normal? ‘Yes, I do. Stay away. Hiss’? Wasn’t likely.

“Of course not.” The words tasted like bile in her mouth. She turned to Chaeyoung, trying to rid her eyes of the sight of Jihyo looking at her like she had offered her water in the desert. “Speaking of Momo, where in the world is she now?” it worked quickly, setting the young alpha—with a huge grin—off about her girlfriend, even pulling her phone to show pictures.

On paper, Mina and Jihyo made sense; a little too much sense, really. Jihyo was a serious woman, dedicated to her work, but she was also funny, beautiful and knew how to have a good time, she was a practical joker and very competitive. There was so much she had in common with Mina, so many ways they could fit together, compliment and balance each other out.

It almost felt inevitable.

She told them both, Jihyo and Chaeyoung, that she’d set it up, give Mina Jihyo’s number and all that. Then, in her best I’m-actually-kinda-your-superior voice said that they should probably go back to work, having already extended their lunch break with their talking too much.

That night, Sana showed up to Mina’s apartment, much like she often did, with take out and a bottle of wine.

The sight that greeted her when the door opened was also a familiar one; Mina, hair wet from having just showered, dressed in an oversized white shirt and black sweatpants, having arrived from her office less than an hour before.

Sana lifted the wine bottle, “I’ve got you a date.” She said, pushing her way in.

They settled on Mina’s couch, Sana already digging into her food, more out of nerves, something to do with her mouth and hands, than out of hunger, meanwhile Mina’s sat forgotten on the small table in front of them, while the omega scrolled through her phone, Jihyo’s Instagram profile open.

“I’m confused.” Her eyes were in a picture of Jihyo from a while ago, and Sana could not blame her for the way she stared, it was quite the nice picture, Jihyo was wearing a tight green dress, thin straps exposing her shoulders and her…best assets. “This woman can't get a date?”

“She can get a date just fine.” Sana said, holding back an eye roll from the way Mina seemed to hesitate before moving on to the next picture, as if she had never seen a pair of tits in her life. “She’s just never interested in a second one.”

“And you suggested me?” The omega was clearly still lost in the entire situation. 

“What?” Sana tried sounding humorous, eyes on her noodles. “You’re a catch.”

There was no answer. 

When the silence stretched for a bit too long Sana finally looked up. Mina had lowered the phone and was staring at her, a worried frown in between her eyebrows, her mouth pressed into a worried thin line.

“Sana.” she said, serious, and so she might as well have scolded her.

“Chaeyoung was the one who suggested it.” The alpha sighed, “but honestly: She’s funny, smart, and beautiful; I genuinely think you guys might get along pretty well,” there was no answer or change to Mina’s face. “It’s just a date; and if it goes bad, you can say you told me so and I’ll buy you the new graphics card you’ve been wanting. But, Mitang…” she hesitated, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “I think it might be good for you. To put yourself out there. Meet people. You deserve it. Happiness and love and all that.”

There was silence again for a bit, then Mina spoke again.

“I have you.” It was a whisper, a genuinely tender confession.

Sana shook her head. “You do. And you always will.” The thought of not having Mina in her life, of not being this close to the omega, made a pit of despair appear on Sana’s stomach. “But it’s different.” Mina deserved someone who would be hers.

Mina sighed, finally picking up her box of food. “Alright. But you’re picking my outfit.”

Jihyo had asked, that same afternoon when Chaeyoung came up with the idea, what Mina was like. They were walking back to their offices, and her voice was quiet, hesitant as if she wasn’t sure she was allowed to ask.

There were a lot of things Sana could say, but most of them were about what Mina was like to Sana. Sana’s mina was a sensitive little thing, with a big heart. She was gentle and kind and soft-spoken. She ran like both her feet pointed to different directions, which made her adorable. She could be quiet and introspective anxious and a worrier, but she was also funny and a tease. She was a big nerd. She was Sana's darling, her baby, someone she felt protective over and yet relayed on for everything.

“She’s fine.” was all she said, stopping at Jihyo’s office door. “You’ll get along, I think.”

And so it was decided, Mina would go out with Jihyo. 

That night, once they had taken their plates and takeout boxes to the kitchen, they settled on Mina’s couch, a Netflix documentary played, not muted but almost, as sana put her arms around Mina's torso, and tangled their legs together, head resting on the omega’s shoulder, both eyes on Mina’s phone, whispering under their breath, just for each other, about restaurants and times and dates.

And maybe Sana held Mina tighter than usual, fist bawling her shirt, and maybe she buried her nose onto the cloth one too many times. It was nothing.

Mina was someone she cared about, and here she was venturing into a direction she hadn’t in a while; it was normal for her to be anxious.

In the morning Sana would wake up with Mina in her arms, a good hour before the omega’s waking time, she would shower and get dressed in one of the many spare clothes she had in the apartment before heading to work.

At work she’d tell Jihyo of the plans that Mina had made the night before with her help, day, time and place; she’d try her best not to think about how giddy the alpha seemed at the news. Then, she’d go on about her day.

Mina and Jihyo had met before, of course, there was a reason the alpha had immediately associated the name with it belonging to Sana’s girl. But they had been quick encounters; sometimes Mina would pick Sana up from work, or stop by during lunch, they had seen each other, had greeted each other, but that had been it.

They were two people who inhabited the same city, had acquaintances in common, but had never been significant enough to make an impact in each other's life.

Which was why Sana found silly the way her friend was acting.

Mina had showered a good hour and a half before she should have if she wanted to be early, and a good twenty minutes before Sana herself arrived at the scene. When she finally did what she found was her friend's bedroom in a complete disarray; clothes lying around, more pairs of shoes than she knew Mina owned littering the floor, and the omega herself standing in the middle of the apartment, in only her underwear, with the wild eyes of a terrified cat.

Sana had sighed, dropped her handbag by the door, and walked in for the save.

She chose a few pieces of clothes for the omega to try out, all things that complimented her, leaving it to Mina herself to choose what she was the most comfortable wearing. Then she sat on the bed and watched.

The pants were easy; Mina quickly found a pair of black, form fitting pants she liked; they sat well on her hips; at least Sana thought so, tilting her head as the omega stood still shirtless in front of the mirror, her eyes staying on her friend's ass for a second too long.

Half an hour later any sense of appreciation had been sucked out of Sana by watching Mina pull the sixth shirt she had tried over her head.

She sighed and got up, preventing Mina from walking into her closet once again by stopping in front of her, wordless. She held her by the waist, grip just tight enough, grounding her to touch and watching as she exhaled shakily. 

“Sorry,” Mina said, shoulders slumping forward. The omega swallowed and Sana could see a storm raging behind her eyes, the familiar scent of Mina’s anxiety—fear, bitter, burnt—permeating her nose. She did her best to respond with her own calming scent.

“What's wrong?” She touched Mina's cheek gently, guiding the omega to look her in the eye. “Cold feet? We can cancel it.”

It had been almost a week since the date had been set up, and although Sana had avoided the subject, for her own sake, last time it was brought up Mina had seemed fine about going out with Jihyo.

“No, I—” her voice trembled. “Thought about what you said, about me finding someone, a mate” Sana tried her best not to physically react to the word, now wasn’t the time to give in to whatever alpha instinct still lived in her brain.. “I think I might need that, Satang. I think it's time.”

And she deserved it too; the whole thing; love and romance, candlelit dinners, to be held and kissed, walk holding hands like in the movies, post pictures with cheesy captions on Instagram; to be loved and to celebrate that love.

She knew Mina had not had a picture perfect home life growing up; it was why the thought of romance, settling down, wasn’t one that worried her mind often, it was why she didn't mind perpetual singleness, didn't think of it as a failing; she knew one could live alone when needed.

But at the end of the day, loneliness came knocking.

The first thing Sana felt was inadequacy; a feeling that she—her friendship—was no longer enough for Mina as far as affection was concerned. She needed another alpha in her life, one that could meet her every need like a proper mate. The second one was guilty, for she herself had planted the idea on the omega’s head.

She wasn’t sure why she had insisted so much. She didn’t like the idea. Not really, deep down it made her sick to think of it. And yet she felt like that feeling in itself was wrong. So she went against it. 

She pulled Mina to her, a movement she had done countless times, and the omega went easily, forehead coming to rest on her shoulder as she took a deep breath. They never scented each other, at least not in the traditional scent, nose to scent glands, pheromones responding to each other—that would probably be too much, even for them—the closest they got were moments like this; breathing it in through clothes while hugging or just leaning on each other.

“It's okay to want that.” Didn’t they all want it? Love and affection were the food of the soul, it was something needed to survive. “But it's just a first date. Don't put too much pressure on it.” She took a deep breath; it wasn't in her to be a natural nurturer, but for Mina she’d try. “Just get to know her and let her know you, be yourself, be at ease.” She gently ran her fingers through Mina’s hair. “If it doesn't work out, that's okay too. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“Okay,” Mina whispered, but didn't move away, instead she wrapped her arms around Sana, pressing them together; Sana let her. Sana held her too, feeling the warm skin under her touch. “Promise you’ll be here?”

“Of course, baby.” She kissed her temple. “Like a protective sire, waiting for her little princess to arrive from prom.”

Mina pushed her away. Hard.

She stayed. She put Mina in a taxi—she had suggested Mina drink some wine during dinner, to relax, so driving wasn’t really an option—and then went back up to the empty apartment.

She sat on the couch and thought about turning the TV on; but didn’t. She wasn't a big watcher; the movies were Mina’s thing, and most of the shows Sana was currently watching were with the omega, and she’d never be forgiven if went ahead alone.

Being quite honest, Sana wasn’t sure what to do with herself. It wasn't like she’s never been in Mina's apartment by herself, on the contrary, the place felt as much as home as her own apartment, but there was something different in the air, or maybe inside her own head.

She felt restless, anxious; everything seemed final, urgent. She couldn’t stay still on the couch so she got up; standing in the middle of the living room she checked her phone for texts.

She had thought—maybe hoped—Mina might feel nervous about being alone with another alpha, one who was pretty much a stranger, and texted her for help early on. Maybe to be reassured, calmed, in the way they often did, maybe to be bailed out. 

But none of that seemed to happen.

She almost wanted to send a text herself; just to check in, make sure everything was okay.

But that’d be dumb.

Mina was out on a date with an alpha Sana knew was nothing but trustable; Jihyo would treat her right, she’d be polite and make conversation, she’d try to know more about Mina, her work, her hobbies, her life. Jihyo would be charming, Mina would probably blush and avert her gaze. The date would be fine. She was willing to bet money on it.

So she threw her phone on the couch, as if the distance from the device itself would tear away the thoughts from her brain.

It didn’t. They stayed there, like poison, clouding her head. 

A distraction was needed

Sana went to tidy up Mina’s room. After all, all those clothes had to go back into the closet at some point.

The alpha, alone in her best friend’s apartment, didn’t need a text to know the date went well.

Really, the lack of one was more telling than anything, but even without reading too much into the quietness of her phone, the simple fact that it went on for hours told her everything she needed to know. 

Mina was a homebody; she went out for work and when Sana insisted. 

And yet she went out at seven and stayed out until almost eleven.

Without a call or a text to complain.

Alone, and with a pit of something dark growing inside her brain, the alpha laid on Mina’s bed, on top the sheets and fell asleep hugging a pillow that smelled just like the omega; she wasn’t even all that tired; it had been an easy day in an easy week; and still all she wanted was to sleep, to avoid thinking, existing, just for a bit.

Sana woke up to the sound of the door to the apartment opening and closing. She sat up in a jolt, confused from sleep, not really having meaning to fall into deep sleep.

When Mina walked into her room Sana was cleaning the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand in a hurry, feeling stupid about falling asleep, stupid about how much she felt. 

The omega stopped at the door to her room, her shoes in hands and an eyebrow arched at the sight of the alpha sitting on the middle of her bed, a pillow in her arms.

“Hi?” she approached the bed, most likely intending to sit down. Tough luck; Sana grabbed her arm, pulling her on top of her all at once. “Sana!” she yelped, caught by surprise, but did not fight it, just went with it, laying her head on Sana's shoulder.

“How did it go?” the alpha asked, even though she already knew the answer, even though she didn't want confirmation.

Mina sighed, and her scent, so content, so sweet, filled Sana’s nose. Sana had never felt sad at the smell of it before. “It went pretty well.” She closed her eyes, feeling Mina’s arms around her. “She drove me home.” Yeah. She was doomed.

The first date went well. Sana had not asked for details, and Mina had not willingly provided them. 

It was like they had reached an unspoken agreement on the matter. Mina would do her thing with Jihyo, and they had Sana’s blessing. But they would not talk about it.

Instead, they’d sit on the couch together, watching movies like they always did, and Sana would pretend not to know who Mina was texting, she would pretend like it didn't bother her, like having to share Mina's attention with an alpha she had just become acquainted with didn't bother her.

Jihyo didn’t seem to have reached the same agreement though; after the first dinner she tried approaching Sana about Mina; and Sana knew she wasn’t trying to start anything, but it still pissed her off. She didn’t want to hear it, didn’t need to know how lovely dinner with Mina had been, how she had probably blushed when Jihyo complimented, ducked her head and hid her face in her hand, didn't need to be told how she laughed at silly jokes and had probably gotten excited that Jihyo also enjoyed of computer games; she already knew that, without any of them telling her. Because she knew Mina.

Had for years.

Luckily Chaeyoung seemed to be on her side, probably picking up on her scent change when Jihyo tried approaching the subject, or just knowing from experience how protective of Mina Sana could get.

“Dude,” She had interrupted Jihyo, with a lazy smile, as the alpha tried, during one of their lunches, to tell Sana about something Mina had texted her “Are you sure you wanna gush to her about Mina?” she raised her eyebrow. “That's like her little sister.” Her tone was teasing, but Jihyo still stopped, a blush on her face.

Wrong. But Sana was grateful for the intervention.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cross any lines” She said, sheepish but honestly, and god, Sana felt like an asshole. “It's just—you know her the best; so—” she shook her head. “Nevermind.”

Sana almost apologized, but even the thought of doing so left a foul taste in her mouth. But once again Chaeyoung was on her side, speaking so she wouldn’t have to.

“Hey, technically I've known Mina for longer, and I’m dating her one other friend!” By the count of weeks, but Chaeyoung always clung to that. “We can chat when the big bad wolf isn’t here, I’ll get Momo to give us some tips.”

Sana pouted, playing into the joke and rolling her eyes. But she was relieved. “Sorry I have boundaries.” She said with a dramatic eye roll. Chaeyoung giggled and Jihyo gave her a smile. “Just…” she looked at Jihyo unsure. “Treat her right. She means a lot to me.” Maybe honesty was the wiser route right now.

“Of course,” Jihyo nodded, all too serious.

“And don’t hog her all to yourself.” that made the mood lighter, all three alphas breaking into laughter.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Jihyo said, with a bright smile.

And of course it was inevitable, the first date went well, and they kept in touch. When Mina told her Jihyo had asked out again it did not surprise Sana.

She wasn’t sure how to react; she saw it coming from a mile away. It was lucky for her the news had come through text, it gave her room not to react, to take a deep breath and calm herself before texting back with a “I’m happy for you” with an amount of exclamation points that could not possibly seem genuine.

In person they stayed the same, she’d spend the night in Mina's apartment, sleep in her bed, share her clothes, hug her after a long day, letting her scent seep into her clothes, into her lungs, and calm her down. 

The second date went well; a third was agreed on.

And maybe Sana hugged Mina for longer, maybe she made sure to leave her scent on the omega whenever they spent time together, maybe she made sure Mina's couch smelled like her. 

It was fine; it was natural; she was an alpha and Mina her friend; she was protective of course. 

At least that’s what she told herself to justify why she was acting like a complete fucking creep. What she told Momo when she called, curious about this new couple, and about Sana’s “big bad wolf” behavior, as Chaeyoung had put it. Just her being protective.

Truth was she wasn't sure what else to do; thinking about it too much—Mina and Jihyo, Mina with Jihyo—made her miserable in a way that was almost unbearable.

But there was also a sense of curiosity that filled her after enough dates. The numbers grew. So did their proximity. It was like waiting for something big to happen. The other shoe to drop.

But most of the changes were not really perceptive; Mina still smelt like herself, purely like herself, jasmine and honey, and she still made time for Sana, still hugged her, and cuddled with her, they still laughed together, spent time together; they were still Mina and Sana. 

Mina and Sana.

But Mina was with Jihyo now. She was giddy when her phone vibrated; she was suddenly interested in soccer of all things; she wasn't all Sana’s anymore.

“How’s your girl, Jihyo?” she overheard Chaeyoung asking one day as she approached their usual lunch spot. They had their backs to her, didn't notice, but she saw the way Jihyo took a deep breath.

“Fuck, Chaeng, she’s great.” There was a wonder in her voice, an amazement that seemed to leave her breathless.

“Yeah, Minari is great.” Chaeyoung nodded, laughing.

“I think I’m falling in love.”

Love. that had been the word used. 

Love.

Jihyo was talking about Love and Sana didn't have a single clue about how Mina, her best friend, felt about the whole thing.

She had to ask, had to know. Even if deep down, her alpha instinct or whatever it was that had been torturing her, didn’t want her to. 

She needed to stop running.

It was time.

“So,” she asked, leaning on the passageway to Mina’s kitchen; they were having dinner together as they often did. Sana was barefoot but still in the jeans she wore to work, the white shirt she had on had a few buttons undone and the wineglass in her hand was partially empty. “How are things with Jihyo?”

Mina froze. Sana saw it, she didn't comment on it, just took a sip of her wine, but she saw it; the way her shoulders, covered by one of her many oversized shirts, rose almost to her ears, suddenly tense, on guard. The way the arm which was connected to the hand that was holding the knife cutting the vegetables for their dinner stopped for a second, causing the cut to be rough, imprecise.

The omega looked back; Sana had half her face hidden by the wineglass, but even that wasn’t enough to shield her from the intensity of Mina’s glare.

“What?” she asked, as if she didn’t know exactly what. Sana was shameless.

Mina shrugged, not willing to name the pact that Sana had just broken. “It’s been fine.”

Sana waited for more; there had to be more. Fine wasn't in love. There had to be more there.

Unless Mina didn’t feel the same.

“Just fine?”

Once again Mina froze. The beat this time was longer. She dropped the knife and cleaned her hands on a kitchen towel laying nearby. They were doing this. She picked up her own glass before turning to Sana.

“Why do you ask now?” she tried, voice neutral, not admonishing nor angry.

It was Sana's turn to shrug, “Didn’t think it was any of my business.” That wasn’t convincing; Mina arched an eyebrow, waiting for a more convincing answer. “But it's been a while; and it's still going; I assume it's getting serious by now.”

That elaboration seemed to make her answer more convincing. Mina took a deep breath, closing her eyes; she seemed almost fragile, in the kitchen light, her expression so open, like a picture book, easy to read, vulnerable.

“I assume you just didn’t care.” Her voice was a whisper, so clearly hurt by said thought. 

Sana had an instinct to move forward, hug her, so she did.

Mina’s arms wrapped around her waist as they always did.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, trying to stop the guilt from consuming her. “Was just trying to give you space.”

“You were the one who suggested I went out with her.” Mina said against her chest, voice still sounding a little pointed. “Insisted, really.”

It was okay. Sana could take it. She held Mina for a little longer, letting her breath in her scent, calming down; she was glad that hadn’t changed.

After what it felt like too long and too fast all at once, Mina pulled away, wiping her eyes and turning around.

“It’s been good.” She said, picking the knife back up. Good was miles ahead from fine. “I like what we have, she’s kind to me, and makes me laugh.” Was that falling in love? Was Mina there too?

“When are you going out again?” That's not what Sana wanted to know. She wanted to ask if they had kissed, if they had fucked, where had Jihyo touched her?

She should call Momo; if Mina couldn’t—wouldn’t—tell Sana, there was only one other person she might tell. She had other friends, but Momo was the only one who would tell Sana what was said.

Sana should call Momo.

The answer didn’t come immediately. It had been two months of talking and hanging out; it was all too fast. “Actually.” Mina said, slowing down the rhythm of the cutting. “She asked if I wanted to—” she stuttered, “Make things official.”

“Official?” she knew what official meant, she just couldn't understand what it meant in this context; for her, for Mina.

“Like girlfriends.” Mina’s voice was small, as if afraid of Sana’s reaction.

“What are you guys? 12?” she said too fast, spit balling, meanness covering her voice before she could help it. Mina stared. Sana took a deep breath, coming back to herself. “What did you tell her?”

Falling in love. Jihyo had said. She was falling in love with Mina, because Mina was incredible, funny and smart; she was gentle and quiet; she calmed down whoever was around her, and she was beautiful.

This wasn’t some loser Mina met at her internship whose main hobbies involved playing video games and getting blowjobs. Jihyo was good, the type of alpha an omega might be proud to have, to love.

“I asked her to give me a few days to think.”

A few days to think. 

How many days do you need to figure out if it's love?

Sana had had years.

Love had been the word Jihyo used. And Sana finally understood. Of course it was love, how could it not be. It was Mina; under her gaze, listening to her, smiling at her, who wouldn’t be falling in love?

Sana had years.

She got it now. It made sense. This was why it hurt so much.

They were Mina and Sana, and Sana was comfortable. Had never thought about it, never made the effort. Not like Jihyo did, with the dates and the flowers and the proposals.

Those were all things Mina deserved. Sana had known that before, had told her so herself. But she now realized she should have given them to her. Before this happened and another alpha came along and did it all first.

“You should say yes.” Sana said. A whisper.

Mina didn’t look at her, and for that Sana was grateful.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

So what do you do once you realize you’re in love with your best friend? That you’ve been in love, actually. Probably for a little while?

Well, the answer was nothing, really. 

Not when you had spent the last three months pushing her to date one of your coworkers.

But it was okay. Sana was an adult. Surely she could deal with a crush, right?

All she had to do was make sure it didn’t affect them, and didn't change how things worked. They had to stay Mina and Sana.

Especially now when Mina was to make something out of Mina and Jihyo.

Sana shouldn’t ruin her possible happiness.

Easier said than done.

Sana didn't want them to change, but Jihyo’s presence was a change. It wasn't just dates anymore; they were a couple. It wasn’t something Sana could ignore.

Suddenly Mina actually smelled like Jihyo, even if faintly, and there were signs of her presence in the omega's apartment—beer in the fridge, spare clothes in the close, a third toothbrush in the bathroom—suddenly there were date nights, which meant Sana got sidelined, got their usual nights together canceled because Jihyo was spending the night.

There was even an Instagram announcement: an honest to god post on both of their profiles, and Mina never posted on her Instagram. And yet there it was: their faces pressed together, and a heart on the caption.

Sana hated it. But she hated herself more. Being aware of her feelings made her hyperaware of everything. Suddenly she second guessed everything she felt, everything she wanted to do.

But it wasn't enough to paralyze her.

Not nearly.

Standing at the door to Mina’s apartment on a Wednesday, their day according to their routine, she felt both dumb and ready to do something crazy. The omega hadn’t canceled, hadn’t told her anything, so she—to keep everything normal—had showed up.

Jihyo opened the door. Standing there in loose sports shorts and a white shirt. 

“Sana!” she said, not moving from the door to allow her in. And she had the audacity of sounding surprised, as if she was the intruder. “Come in, come in,” she urged, after an awkward moment of silence. 

For a second Sana didn’t speak; afraid a growl would come before words, denouncing how the presence of the alpha in Mina’s space made her feel.

“Sorry,” she said, suddenly not sorry at all. Even the alphas' clothes, comfortable as if she were in her own house, pissed her off “I’m guessing we got some dates crossed.”

Jihyo chuckled just as Mina appeared from the direction of the kitchen. She was dressed in her usual stay at home oversized clothes. Sana wanted to walk and hug her, hold her against her chest.

She didn’t.

“Oh,” Mina seemed a little dumbfounded, looking from one alpha to the other. “I forgot to cancel.”

And Sana would love for her to clarify with whom she was meant to cancel. But part of her knew she was the one who was supposed to be alone at her apartment right now, and was glad she didn’t.

Jihyo came in for the save, “No this is good,” she said, “I was going to suggest we all get together and stuff.” Sana looked at Mina, wanting to know her thoughts on the subject. But the omega said nothing, just stared at Sana. 

Sana knew this; they were playing chicken, seeing who broke first. Mina wanted her to apologize for something. Sana wanted Mina to apologize for sidelining her for another alpha.

Neither said anything for too long to be normal. They just looked at each other.

Jihyo cleared her throat. “Do you want a beer, Sana?”  

“No. Thank you.”

“She prefers wine.”

Jihyo nodded, “Well…” she seemed lost. Clearly picking up on whatever was going on here, and just like the other two, not sure of what was causing it, “Let's get you some?”

That seemed to wake Mina up, the omega taking a deep breath, as if she had just been woken from a dream.  

“Right,” she nodded, “Come on.”

Sana followed Mina to the kitchen in silence. She felt, now that the moment had passed, like a child who had just thrown a tantrum, even if nothing had happened. She was intruding, and she was not entitled to Mina's attention. Jihyo didn't follow them, and for that moment alone Sana was grateful.

Mina served her a glass of wine, she didn't offer her a change of clothes, didn't step forward and leaned on her shoulder. Jihyo was just in the living room, but they both felt her presence hanging over them.

“Sorry, I should have texted you about—” the omega didn't finish, and Sana knew this was confirmation; she wasn’t expected today, there was supposed to be a cancellation that never came. “I don't want things to be awkward.” She said instead.

“It's our day,” the alpha said in a low voice, she took a gulp of her wine, hoping it’d make her feel a little less on edge. Then, shrugging, off put because despite being in her safe place she was still wearing her coat. “It doesn't have to be awkward; She’s dating you, I’m your friend. It is what it is.”

“You’re overprotective.” Overbearing was what she probably wanted to say. “She tells me you don’t even let her talk about me to you.”

“Did you enjoy hearing girls talking about me?”

“That’s different.”

“How so?” Sana hissed. Her cup had been on her hand for less than two minutes and was already halfway empty. Mina was staring at her like she had in the living room again, this time with something sharper in her eyes. There was danger in the way the omega's jaw tensed, and Sana didn't hate seeing it.

She didn't get an answer; instead Mina looked away, to the door connecting the kitchen to the corridor that led to the living room where Jihyo stood.

“Stay for dinner.” Her tone was flat, she pushed herself off the cabinet where she had been leaning against. “We ordered enough.”

Mina walked past her, toward the living room where Jihyo was probably wondering what was taking them so long to get some wine. But Sana didn't let her.

Her free hand grabbed the omega’s arm, stopping her and pulling her closer. Mina's black eyes stared at her. Her beautiful bare face, expressionless, adorned by moles, the skin so soft-looking.

She didn't want to fight Mina; she wasn't even sure why they were fighting. “I missed you these past days.” Her voice came lower, more vulnerable than she’d like, so un-alpha-like.

But it was true, and it seemed to be received as such. Mina’s expression softened, her shoulders slumped, even her scent was gentler on her nose.

“I missed you too.” she said, and this time she was the one who stepped forward. Sana opened her arms for her to walk in, and just like they always did, suddenly they were Sana and Mina again, hugging in the kitchen. 

Mina’s arms went under her coat, around her waist and Sana held her tight, gripping her shirt, afraid she'd evaporate. She put her nose to the omega's hair, breathing in the familiar shampoo, and the hint of comfort from Mina under it.

“I love you,” she whispered, and never had she meant it so much.

The arms around her got firmer, “I love you too.” Mina had her face buried in Sana’s shirt. “I’m sorry things are weird right now.”

Sana chuckled, kissing her head, “We’ll get used to it.”

She felt Mina laugh, body shaking in her arms, but whatever she might have said next got interrupted as Jihyo walked into the kitchen phone in hand.

“The app says the food is downstairs, but I’m kinda underdressed—” they jumped apart, as if caught red-handed.

They were just two friends, hugging, and yet the guilt was enough to make sana’s hand slack around her cup, glass shattering on the floor while Mina stood suddenly five feet from her, and Jihyo stared at them round eyes wide in surprise.

Mina didn’t let the silence linger too long, “Clean this up.” She said, not looking at Sana. “I’ll go get the food.”

She was gone before either of the alphas could answer. 

They stared at each other for a second; Sana still in her work clothes, shoulders tense from the surprise, standing in her best friend's kitchen, a mess of glass and alcohol on the floor before her. Jihyo, dressed as casually and comfortably as one could, arms by her side, empty beer bottle in her hands.

“We-”

“I'll help you clean.”

Sana was thankful for Jihyo’s louder voice, she wasn’t sure what would come after the ‘we’. She nodded. Kneeling down to try to pick up the larger shards.

They cleaned in silence, doing their best not to leave any shards—knowing Mina had a fondness for walking around barefoot—and wipe the floor properly. It didn’t take long, with both of them working towards the same goal.

Afterwards, Jihyo opened the fridge for a new beer bottle, taking a long drag from it before stepping in front of the cabinets. She offered a new, empty glass to Sana, wordlessly still, she turned around, picking the wine bottle with one hand.

“I haven’t been keeping my promise have I?” she asked, filling Sana's glass.

“What?” she was expecting a treat, something about having to be mindful of her behavior with Mina now that Jihyo was around. A declaration of territory ownership.

“About not hogging Mina all to myself.” She smiled, and her smile was apologetical. Here was the alpha who had been courting Mina for months, dating her for weeks, now, apologizing to Sana. It made her feel like an asshole. It made her ego grow tenfold. She wasn’t even sure how to answer. Jihyo kept going, “Chaeyoung told me how you guys are, and I would never try to get in between that—”

“Good.” The ego won over the guilt; the words left Sana’s mouth with a bite before she could help herself.

Jihyo only laughed. “We’ll work a schedule yeah?” she joked, amused, she put the wine bottle away and gripped Sana’s shoulder. Jihyo looked her in the eye. “I know you mean a lot to each other; but she means a lot to me too.”

Sana had a bitter taste in her mouth, words failed to come to her, so she nodded.

“I know she does.” Love.

Jihyo nodded, “So let's just…get comfortable with each other.” Jihyo nodded at her own words, determined. “You don’t have to jump away from her because I’m around, and I don’t have to wonder if I'm gonna get my teeth punched out for kissing your little sister in front of you.”

“She's not my little sister.”

Jihyo shrugged; she shouldn’t. She didn’t understand what Sana meant; she didn't think of Mina as a sister, and didn't feel for her like that. Sana wanted to be seen as a threat, and she didn’t know if the fact she wasn’t should anger or relieve her “My point still stands.” It didn't. They both heard the door open and close. “Now come on. Let’s eat.”

She wasn't hungry. Her head hurt her teeth ached, and she was sitting in a fucking arm chair while Jihyo and Mina took the couch.

The armchair didn't smell like Mina, nor did it smell like herself, it was a blank, sterile piece of furniture that was rarely ever used. On the couch sat Mina and Jihyo, the alpha telling some story about work Sana couldn’t care less about, but she seemed to be telling it for her sake as if whatever she and Mina talked about would bore her. They were from different departments and she barely knew the faces of most of the people involved in the story, but could track it fairly well. Mina too seemed to follow along though, nodding in between bites and instead.

But the other alpha didn’t have her full attention; Instead of listening, Sana watched her best friend.

Mina was…comfortable around Jihyo, that much was clear; her posture was relaxed, her guard was down. She trusted the alpha, and that should be enough. And maybe if Sana didn’t know Mina, it would be. 

Because the omega had a tell. It was imperceptible unless you watched her closely for an extended period, but Sana had had years to get to know the ins and outs of Mina’s behavior.

As Jihyo talked, casually telling a story just for the sake of providing background noise, she would take breaks to actually eat, when she did that she'd look down, as opposed to when she spoke and looked at Mina or Sana. While she was talking Mina’s eyes were on her and on her alone, eyes narrowed, focused, nodding along, and as Jihyo would lower her head to take a bite, Mina's eyes would stay there, staring at the space, or essentially at the far wall of her apartment.

The omega was bored. But she was trying very hard not to be. And under no circumstance would she look at Sana.

Sana chuckled, which was not what she had planned to do; but how else could she react to the little show Mina seemed to be putting?

However, the sound attracted both pairs of eyes to her, one frowning, one glaring.

“Sorry,” she said, “Just remembered something.” She gave them both her best innocent, clueless look, returning to her food with a polite smile.

Jihyo seemed to accept that, although she was now lost in her own story, but Mina’s eyes were still on Sana.

The alpha gave her a wink. Then asked Jihyo a question about the latest Tigers game, mostly because the only person she knew who gave less of a fuck about baseball than she did was Mina, and it amused her to see the omega trying to play the nice girlfriend role.

After dinner, like always there was a movie, but Sana couldn't handle that; as much as it was funny to watch Mina, it also, still, deep down, hurt.

The casual touches that were usually reserved for her were now being flaunted in front of her, along with genuine effort to care and cater to while she sat there, maybe it was selfish, maybe it was petty; but there was only so much she could handle watching.

So when Mina returned from her bedroom with a blanket in hand, ready to cozy up and cuddle Jihyo on the couch where she had been cuddling sana for years, the alpha decided that enough was enough. 

“I should get going,” she got up from the stiff armchair. “Leave you two lovebirds to it.”

The way Jihyo's face turned red would be hilarious, the way she opened and closed her mouth twice before speaking was too, “Oh, that's not-” it would all be funny if not for what Mina interrupted her girlfriend to say.

“Are you not staying?”

It wasn't just the words, but the tone in which she said them; it was a tone Sana was quite familiar with, she could see the pout on Mina's lips before even turning to her. It was the tone she used when Sana insisted she couldn't sleepover. Usually it was accompanied by her arms getting firmer around Sana, maybe a leg would be thrown over her too to make sure she couldn’t escape.

Sana always thought it would surprise people to know Mina was the clingy one. 

She wondered if Jihyo would find it surprising.

This time it wasn’t accompanied by any of that, just by the omega freezing at her own words.

Sana looked at her, and it broke her heart to see the look there; as if suddenly it had dawned on Mina, finally, how hard it’d be to have it both ways.

She smiled, it wasn't a happy smile, but it was, what Sana hoped it was, a reassuring one.

“At another time, honey.” she said, voice soft as if it was just the two of them. She held Mina's gaze, not daring to look anywhere else. Nothing else mattered either way. When the omega nodded she finally straightened up, dusting off her pants.

She looked at Jihyo who had a distant and thoughtful expression on her face, not really looking at either of them. “See you at work tomorrow?”

The short alpha blinked, looking at her, as if surprised she was being addressed. “Yeah for sure.” she nodded, still lost in thought. Sana wished she care more about whatever the fuck was going on in her brain, she really didn’t.

“Walk me out?” she asked Mina instead, hoping for another moment alone like the one they had in the kitchen.

Mina nodded, silently getting up.

At the door the omega helped her get into her coat, hand running over her sleeves, smoothing it out. “It's late. And it's cold outside.” She whispered, fidgeting with the piece of clothing. “The couch unfolds-”

Sana took her hands into hers, stopping the fidgeting and forcing the omega to look her in the eye, “I’m not sleeping on the couch.” There was an edge to her voice that she never used to talk to Mina. They didn't pull the rank card on each other, but today, on this, Sana felt like she needed to make a stand, at least a little part of her needed to be respected.

Mina looked down again, “I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely there, Sana stepped forward, arm itching to hold her again, but forcing herself to just stand there, now too close together. “Sorry ‘I've been acting weird—I’m not used to-”

“Do you like her?” Sana asked, interrupting whatever train of thought was going on in Mina’s brain. She kept her voice low, but wasn't scared of being heard with how close they were standing now, she only had to whisper. Is she worth it? She wanted to ask, but didn’t. “She makes you happy?”

Beyond pretending to care about sports, beyond the act of a nice, interested girlfriend, was this real?

Mina looked at her, eye to eye, and held her gaze. There was so much her face showed, so much Sana did not understand, her eyes were full of words in a language Sana could not decipher. It filled her with distress. She let go of Mina’s hand and instead held her arms.

“Talk to me Mina.”

The omega finally looked away.

“She’s here to stay.” Sana let go of her. Heartbroken and angry. Mostly at herself. Mina looked at her again, “But I’d like it not to change us.”

It already had.

Jihyo changed everything, Jihyo herself was the second shoe dropping, Jihyo was the key to waking Sana from her slumber. 

She wished she kept sleeping; she wished she didn’t have to think about courting Mina, getting her flowers, shamelessly burying her nose into her neck, scenting her properly, kissing her, holding her hand. And all the other things she should have been doing for years. All things Jihyo could do now.

“Okay,” she sighed. Then, with the weakest smile she ever gave Mina, she opened the door, “Use protection.” she joked, and walked out.