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“Eddison Watts, keep your hands off of me while I’m in the kitchen or there won’t be anything for dinner tonight.”
“Since when have we had a ‘no sex in the kitchen’ rule, my queen?” Eddie whispered into the skin at the nape of your neck, brushing away some of the hair there to press his lips directly to the spot he’d been nearly obsessed with since you’d keened over it a few weeks prior.
“Since you and Volt distracted me last time and that beautiful cod I caught was left on the counter,” You reminded with a whine and a few flicks of your hand back at his chest. Your attempts at fighting him off were weak and done without the true intention to battle him away; the sensitive patch of skin being loved for a very clear reason that was incredibly difficult for you to ignore at the moment.
“Eddie, stop tormenting our wife,” Volt teased as he stepped out of the office, though he made no moves to end your ‘torment’ himself. It did serve to give Eddie another spouse to playfully bicker with while you moved through the motions of chopping the roots that would take up the bulk of tonight’s stew. Leaving those on to boil allowed you to return your attention to the pair of overgrown children you decided to fall in love with, the taller of whom was presently giving chase to the former king of Lumireign with ink-spotted hands under threat of ruining the latter’s pale undershirt.
It was incredibly freeing, how well the three of you had taken to this simpler life. Rumors in Lumireign had died down now according to Dolly’s most recent missives; stories of the Widow Queen reduced to ghostly tales of the ruler who lost the love of her life and disappeared into the mist, never to be seen again. It was close enough to the truth that the three of you had laughed about it and teased making suspicious returns to Lumireign as spirits during next All Hallows’ Eve.
Though you also had a much more present trip to Lumireign upcoming at the behest of the king herself, there was nowhere that you would rather be than in this home with the pair you’d chosen. The men in question had apparently caught you basking in the moment- which happened more frequently than you’d readily admit- considering a moment after the ruckus had quieted, you found yourself being swept into a pair of strong arms. Your head tipped back out of pure habit to rest against Volt’s chest, and you were able to live peacefully in that moment for all of three seconds before you recalled exactly why Volt had been chasing Eddie around the main level.
A glance down confirmed that hands which were very recently liable for staining whatever they touched were now settled on the spot where your apron met your cotehardie.
“You better have wiped these off before you came over here or this is the last time you touch me for a fortnight.” You warned in a joyful singsong voice, taking a certain amount of twisted glee in the way Volt’s eyes went wide as he nodded frantically and you stepped out of his hold to verify he’d told the truth. Thankfully, there was no ink to be found. Good. There was no way you would have been able to hold up that threat.
Dinners had become a casual but important ritual for the three of you over the years. The boys reported to the Tipsy Tumbler just before the sun set for their shifts, and you were done with your early morning responsibilities at Stefan’s just as it began reaching its peak in the sky. This window of time where the three of you were all home at once? That was sacred. Only inclusive of other souls on the few and far between occasions that you collectively decided to invite over a friend from town or- even more rarely- when Tony, Dolly, or Rowan made an appearance. Though you considered yourself lucky to have seen each of them at all since your departure from Lumireign and your father’s first visit to Caskwell.
The ability to sit down for a meal with the men you loved was your favorite part of the day. Not to mention that each of you had significantly built up your culinary skills since leaving the palace. Well, Volt still had a ways to go, but you and Eddie had picked up the art of finding the balances of whatever spices you could get your hands on and the best ways to stretch meats and vegetables in ways that meant you were never left unsatisfied with a meal. Which was why today felt so odd. This recipe was one of your favorites; Kopi had given it to you when you’d brought her extra carrots from the garden behind the cottage and it had, in no uncertain terms, changed your life forever. It was a frequent joke between you and your husbands that you may one day leave them for Kopi for bestowing it upon you.
So why was it making your nose crinkle and sending signals to your mind that there was something wrong with it? You were determined to push through; despite your household being incredibly comfortable between all three of you working, there was still no room for wasted food when you were no longer living in much more regal circumstances. Yet only a few bites in- still puzzled by the concept of the stew tasting just the same as always, but continuing to pull that thread that screamed wrong- you sat back in your chair and gave the bowl what you hoped was a small enough push away from you that your husbands wouldn’t see.
For what it was worth, it wasn’t the movement that gave you away, it was the lack of it.
“You feeling alright, sparkler?” Eddie asked from one side of the circular table, eyes jumping from the barely-touched bowl to your frustrated expression.
“Just not feeling the stew tonight, I guess,” You answered as casually as possible, but it had about the opposite of the intended effect when Volt clattered his spoon down to gawk at you with his hands flush on the table. He shared a momentary look with Eddie before the pair was on you like mother hens. Volt stood at your side with the back of his hand laid lightly across your forehead while Eddie knelt next to your chair, lacing your fingers together while he looked you up and down as if he’d find some malady by sight alone.
“I’m fine,” You whined under their attention, which only earned you a scolding look from Volt as he turned his attention to using a thumb and forefinger to tip your head this way and that by your chin, “Is it truly so unfathomable that I’m just not hungry for it today?”
“Yes.” They called irritatingly in time, with twin tones that warned against any continued contradictions from you. When they had seemingly found nothing outwardly amiss- obviously-, you were met with narrowed eyes and raised eyebrows that relayed their continued suspicion, even as your trio shifted from the dining table to the kitchen to clean the dinnerware later in the evening.
Eddie and Volt would have to be off to work soon, but they were dragging in their usual routine because they kept checking up on you. It would be genuinely aggravating if you didn’t know that they were only trying to help. When the time finally came for the pair to head off to the tavern, and you had been asked how you were feeling no fewer than a dozen times between them, you had concocted a bit of light revenge for the night. They wanted to think about you so frequently? You’d make sure that they couldn’t keep their minds off of you.
The pair knew good and well never to leave without kissing you goodbye, and even with their fretting, tonight was no different. As Volt shouldered his satchel that hung near the door- the last step of their routine- you found yourself in your usual spot by the stairs as the picture of innocence.
That is, until Volt leaned down for his embrace and your sweet, familiar kiss was replaced by a hand encouraging him down onto the stairs by his shoulder. Ever the obedient knight to his Majesties, he followed your silent instruction without complaint beyond a look similar to a confused puppy dog. You slid into the position that both of you knew well, a thigh slung over each side of his hips, fast enough to draw a gasp from those pretty lips of his before you captured them with your own. One hand traced down his chest until it laid right over his thundering heart as the other knotted itself in that impossibly pristine white hair, giving the tiniest tug so the breath Volt took in response would part his lips enough for your tongue to slip between them.
The ensuing moan that tore from Volt was filthy, to say the very least; his hands- roughened from years of training and combat- finding a perfect purchase on your hips as you devoured him. You got lost in that honeyed tongue so easily every time, but you weren’t here to finish the job. No, tonight you were here to leave your doting husbands thinking of you through every moment of pouring meads and mixing the exotic cocktail ingredients that Beverly bought with each new season. And the moment you felt Volt’s interest stirring, you were springing up off of him with a turn on your heel to his former Majesty, who had apparently watched the entire scene play out dumbstruck with labored breaths.
It was easy enough to walk Eddie back against the wood of the door until there was nowhere for him to go except closer to you. He was leaning in to kiss you before your work could really begin, and you were happy to meet him halfway for a moment, but only just. Because Eddie’s tipping point was not his lips, but his neck. The spot right next to where his pulse thrummed faster and faster as proof of your success, where you let your lips trail down to so that they could work in tandem with your teeth to leave a dark, wretchedly visible mark of your ownership on his skin. All the while, your husband’s wrecked little groans and gasps only spurring you on. You were almost tempted to drag the pair of them upstairs and send them to Bev truly done in and tragically tardy. There was a certain amount of pride within you that you managed to peel yourself away from Eddie even as he tugged lightly at your dress.
“Have fun at work, my loves,” You chimed, stepping past a still-recovering Volt on the staircase as you scampered off to the office, comfortable in the knowledge your husbands would not be thinking you ailing any time soon.
***
“I won’t lie to you, girls, I think that working at the bakery is getting to me,” You admitted to the duo outside of the building in question one day not long after the incident at dinner.
You were incredibly thankful for the camaraderie you’d found in Kopi and Beverly since you’d settled into Caskwell. The pair had thrillingly variant takes on life and the world compared to you, having always lived in this town just far away enough from Pantreia’s capital city to be disconnected from the political discourse you spent a life embroiled in. They chatted idly about the village gossip; which farmers’ daughters were fooling around and whose crops were looking best for next harvest season. It was an easy conversation to fall into regardless of how many times you would cycle into the same topics.
Having gab sessions like these about trivial matters rather than economic policies that would impact the lives of the whole kingdom made you feel as though you had truly become part of the community, and- more importantly- had truly escaped the life you were living before.
“Oh please,” Beverly rolled her eyes at your comment, pointing her half-eaten croissant at you like a weapon, “You look stunning as always, and those boys would say the same thing even if you looked like a rotten plum,” She teased, taking a rather violent bite from the pastry as her sweetheart shook her head fondly at the tavern lady’s actions.
“That’s an interesting image, love,” Kopi laughed with a sip of her tea, “She’s right, though. You look lovely, I wouldn’t put too much stock in what your head is telling you about it,”
Kopi had a good head on her shoulders. You were inclined to trust her judgement, but it didn’t settle the nagging thought in your head that had spawned from your stays getting tight a bit too quickly this morning. You’d gotten very used to your morning routine- you had to, often rising earlier than the sun to get to Stefan’s in time and relying purely on the familiarity in your other senses-, and the minor disruption paired with your reflection carrying just the slightest bit more weight than usual had sent your mind spinning.
It was easy enough to blame the baked goods; Stefan kept you fed well in those early mornings because he knew you tended to arrive at the bakery without having had a meal yet. Even thinking back on your time in the palaces you’d grown up in before Caskwell, you had a hard time believing you had put away as many pastries as you had since you’d started working at Stefan’s. But the thought didn’t bring as much comfort to you as you wished it would. Beverly’s sharp groan snapped your revelry in twain, and your eyes jumped to her in an instant.
“I think I’m about to start my courses, my guts are killing me,” She harped, leaning back limply in her chair and rousing a round of laughter from you and Kopi at her dramatics.
“If you’re there already, I’m not far behind,” Kopi noted with a look at you. The three of you hadn’t discussed your menses before outside of letting each other know if you anticipated them leaving you incapacitated on the day of your meetings. In truth, it had never been you who would send such regards.
It was hard not to relive the agony of the knife Keith had plunged through your skin any time the topic arose.
“I am not as,” You searched for a word that wouldn’t raise alarm to the pair yet was an accurate depiction of how you had come to view the event that was a fairly regular occurrence for other women your age, “reliable in that area,” You settled on. The concept was met with twin looks of confusion that would have been humorous to see if the continued conversation on the topic didn’t make heat flare in your face.
“It comes and it goes. At present, I don’t think I’ve run through my times since winter turned spring,” You explained as carefully as you could. You did your best not to bring up events during your reign; there were those in Caskwell who were entirely unfamiliar with who you, Eddie, and Volt had been to Lumireign, and the last thing you wanted was an overheard conversation sparking rumors about your pasts. So conversations in such public settings could never near topics related to your former queenhood. Beverly, bless her, had no such qualms with being blunt and unforgiving in her questioning no matter the location. Unfortunately for you, you chose to raise your teacup to your lips for a long drink as she decided to unleash hell upon you.
“You’re sure you’re not pregnant?”
You choked on your drink, only just recovering with enough time to force it down before it could instead infiltrate your lungs or be sprayed onto the table. Kopi had a similarly violent reaction, it seemed, as her eyes turned murderously to her lover and a grunt from the redhead left you with the understanding that someone had just received a swift kick under the table.
Your eyes flashed with memories you’d done your best to push far away. Hiding away in a stone room that was nearly your final sight, the chill settling in your bones as blood drained from you, listening to the screams and cries of the ones who died that day and feeling the sick drag of iron slicing through your organs. But it was the final memory, in the light of the morning in the palace infirmary, where sweet Farya sealed your fate. Your hand traced over the place on your stomach where you bore a thick scar that, despite Farya’s best efforts, had healed into something ragged and ugly.
Kopi had found out about the wretched thing one late night relatively soon in your friendship, when you’d spilled your wine over your dress and she’d offered one of her own. She’d walked back into her bedroom with the garment just a touch too early, and had seen the scar in all its glory. The conversation that followed had made Kopi the newest addition to the small group of souls who knew the truth of the once-rulers of Lumireign. Even more so than most, she knew the story of how you’d lost the chance to ever be a mother, and had found solace and comfort in the life that you’d led with Eddie and Volt which felt just as complete as it would have with a child factored into it. Beverly’s comment did fill you with a renewed confidence in Kopi, who clearly hadn’t even shared the secrets you’d granted her with the one she loved.
Yet even still, the question felt eerily similar to the dagger.
“I’m sure,” You answered succinctly with the hopes that it would finally bring an end to this particular conversation.
“Well with how much my bartenders are on you, you’d think-”
“Beverly!”
As the innkeeper recited her scolding that held no true heat behind it, you couldn’t help but let the hand that had been running back and forth over the scar move instead to the center of your stomach in the brief reprieve you had from their attentions.
Your excursion to Lumireign was coming up within the fortnight, perhaps a stop to see Farya was not so out of the picture. If only to affirm what you knew to be true.
There was no hope to be had for a family.
***
Dolly was positively radiant, even in the casual gowns she was draped in when you were escorted to her chambers. The feeling of her arms wrapped tight around you was such a comfort, though a twinge of pain did shoot through you at the sheer stealthy strength she bore as she pulled you in.
She’d taken up your chambers as her own- citing a love for the balcony that the king’s chamber didn’t feature during her singular visit to Caskwell many moons ago-, and you were particularly grateful for the changes she’d made to the room under her reign that had made it nearly unrecognizable as what had once been yours. You weren’t sure you would have been able to step out of the room with a sound mind if she hadn’t. Thankfully, she did also warn you against entering the old king’s chambers, explaining that other than light housekeeping, the space had gone unchanged. You kept your distance from the door.
It had been hard enough returning to Lumireign at all. Memories both tragic and beautiful rocked you with every familiar step towards the castle that was once your home. But with your purpose here now two-fold, there was truly no excuse to postpone your travel. And you had been wanting to see Dolly desperately. You’d barely had a moment to sit with her on the bed before a knock sounded from the main entrance. She called for the visitor to come in, and you could scarcely fight the unbridled joy that shot through you as a familiar head of black curls shuffled into the room.
“Penelope!” You called out as you dashed to her, and the laugh you shared with girlish glee as you took her into your arms- remarking to yourself again on how strong she, too, must be compared to you now at the tick of pain you felt in your torso while hugging her- filled your heart with such love. So long had passed since the three of you were in this room together.
“Oh sweetie, look at you! You’re positively glowing!” The maid squealed, looking you over at arm’s length while one of her hands fiddled with a few loose strands of hair. Some things never change, after all.
“So are you! Oh, Pen, I’m so glad to see you!” She had been the one you’d truly been missing the most dearly. There was no time in a maid’s schedule to make the long journey to Caskwell- which was especially inconceivable with her being unaware of the fates of your husbands- and you hadn’t set foot within the bounds of the kingdom since you’d left that first time after Dolly had been elected. There were years between the two of you that had needed to be stitched back together, and you were happy to start now.
The conversation had flowed between the three of you like not a moment of time had passed at all. Dolly thrilled you with updates on the kingdom that you had been anticipating throughout the entire journey here. Tales of the people’s response to her leadership and the changes that had been made that left the kingdom with more thriving trade routes than ever. The most surprising of which was a direct line to Hearthwyn, which had been created with an agreement Rowan himself had proposed roughly a year after your leave.
You did your best to feign surprise at that information, but there was no fooling Dolly.
Penelope filled you in on all of the castle drama. Explaining how well Duncan had been doing as the new captain of the guard and noting that he had mentioned wanting you to stop by the training grounds to say ‘hello’ at some point during your visit. There was apparently a new advisor who had joined the board that she saw sharing some sparks with Sir Chance, and the three of you spent quite some time giggling over the notion of Chance stumbling besotted over an advisor.
Eventually, it came time for you to provide stories of your time in Pantreia. You debated opening up to Penelope about the fact that you had been living with two people she believed to be long dead, but decided it might be too much of a shock before you’d properly had time to catch up. Instead, you talked at length about the cottage and your paintings and your time working at the bakery. How you’d reconciled with your father- a story that answered several questions for Dolly on the king’s renewed interest in Lumireign-, and how you were happy to be in Lumireign again for more than a few reasons.
“Is our sparkling company not reason enough for you, your Majesty?” Dolly teased, and you shook your head playfully as your shoulders rocked with laughter in time with her own.
“Oh it certainly would have been, but I need to see our dear Farya while I’m in the kingdom, as well,” You would have thought it had begun to snow in the room with how cold the conversation turned in so short a time. Within an instant, the pair were fretting over you just like they’d used to; just like Eddie and Volt had not two weeks prior.
“Are you ill, dear?” Penelope questioned softly, and it set your heart to aching to hear the way her voice was so flooded with fear for your wellbeing.
“No, no, nothing like that,” You assured Penelope, and you had sincerely hoped that would have been enough for them, but neither made a sound to accept that as enough of an explanation. Really, you shouldn’t have said anything at all. That would have been the easy way out of having to discuss what could be and likely was absolutely nothing at all. Just too many sweets and changes to your palate. Nothing amiss, nothing to really indicate what Beverly had implied. Lord, you didn’t even want to think it. Yet it was the only thing that would get you out of this now that you had started down this road.
“I’m going to see Farya because,” Knotting your hands in your dress came naturally then, holding onto that fabric that served to keep you grounded to this earth, that prevented your hands from trembling as you wrapped your voice around the words you hadn’t dared to say aloud, “I think I might be with child,”
It was there. Out in the open. The three of you tucked away in the place where it all started as you looked between their expressions of open-mouthed shock. It was an admission you never imagined yourself having to make after the attack that nearly put you in your grave just on the other side of this room, down a set of stone stairs that would figure in your nightmares for an eternity.
When the shock had passed, you found your ears under a new pointed attack by the sheer volume of Dolly and Penelope’s shared shrieking as they each hugged you close, your trio tipping over onto the bed proper in a fit of excitement that was certainly not befitting of the stations you and Dolly held. You let yourself press into their comforting presence, giving time for the idea to wash over you as well as you stared up at the ceiling that used to greet you each morning and night. The chandelier was the same as it had been. It was much more comforting of a sight than you had thought it would be.
“Oh, Eddie and Volt are going to be so exci-” Dolly, in her infinite wisdom, started until the realization dawned over both of you, and you jolted forward to clasp a hand over her mouth. Penelope sat straight up to stare at you from across the bed.
“What?!”
***
It was a bit more difficult to keep the speed of your heart in check when you were laying in the same bed, in the same too-large nightgown, with the same white, billowy curtains all around you as there had been the last time you were in the palace infirmary.
Even more so when you could actually feel Farya performing her exam on you. You never realized how much of a blessing it had been to have been unconscious the first time you’d had such invasive medical work done. You couldn’t imagine what pain that would have been if even this was damn near torture.
“Farya, I don’t mean to rush you, but how much longer do you need?” You cringed as a pinch of pain shot through you, “I’m anxious enough as it is.”
The doctor finally rose to stand, hands on her hips as she stretched her back out from being in such an odd position for so long. Her tools clanked against the tray she’d brought them in on as she laid them down. Farya made a quick motion with her hand that sent relief flooding through you as you let your knees fall closed and sat up properly in the bed. When she said nothing for a long minute, you felt your anxiety rising all over again.
“I know you said that I wouldn’t be able to have children-”
“I believe I said it was unlikely, your Majesty. Not impossible. Just a moment,” And she turned back to the long strip of parchment she was writing feverishly upon.
You kept telling yourself not to get your hopes up. For all you knew, nothing had changed, and you were still too damaged internally to carry a child. Of course, you would still be happy in the life that you were leading, but wasn’t the thought so beautiful? To rock a little soul with your eyes and shocks of white hair to sleep while the pair you loved like breathing watched from the doorway or swayed alongside you with arms around yours. Or spending warm summer days in the garden as Volt taught a gorgeous little girl with long black hair and steely gray eyes how to battle with wooden swords. You’d love to name your daughter after Eddie’s mother. Or hear the footsteps of a rowdy little boy trailing all around the house after his fathers.
Eddie and Volt would be such great fathers. Better than any the three of you had experienced, with that home so overflowing with love and joy.
“Alright, all done. Congratulations, your Majesty, you are pregnant! I would expect labor in mid-autumn-”
Everything else Farya said faded into the background. All the details, the advice, it all scrambled into nonsense as you wrapped your mind around the life-changing notion she had just presented you with. The freedom that she handed you in only a few simple sentences and a long length of parchment.
You were going to have a baby.
***
The journey home felt at once shorter and much more treacherous. Dolly had arranged a carriage for you- arguably the safest possible way you could be transported back to Caskwell- and yet every minute bump or jostle had your hand jumping to the stomach that you had come to understand had only just started to grow when you’d had tea with Kopi and Beverly.
It was still almost imperceptible from your previous frame, as Dolly and Penelope had told you in earnest after you’d confirmed your previously-shared theory with them, given how early it was yet in your pregnancy. The thought stirred nausea deep in your stomach, although now you weren’t entirely sure if that was the concept of just how much your body was going to change or the being doing the changing that was to blame for the feeling.
Your mind raced with how you were meant to go about revealing this to your husbands. They had been under the same impression as you had ever since the morning after the attack, and it had never been a conversation since. It had been a foregone possibility. Something to move past and accept you would live without, and you had accepted that for so long. So long that now you had to wonder, as you closed the distance between your former life and your current one, if it were even something that either of them still wanted. Hell, if they’d ever wanted it at all. You’d certainly never had the discussion between running a kingdom, planning the escape of the men you loved, ensuring no one found out about the latter issue, and coming to terms with your feelings for them that may never have been acted upon.
You cringed for your past self and questioned how she’d survived it all. Sickened again at the way the carriage came to a stop, the footman opened the door at its side to allow you to step out only moments later.
There was no more time for pondering the future, for it had arrived on your doorstep in the form of you opening your front door.
“Sparkler?” Eddie called, his footsteps echoing from the kitchen. Oh, you’d missed him. And the elation in his voice from the mere idea of your return was setting your heart to beat the same way it had the first time he’d pulled you close in that ballroom. He rounded the corner, and the pair of you met in the middle with the kind of embrace you’d share with someone you hadn’t seen in decades, not a few days. Eddie peppered kisses up and down the column of your neck where he’d buried his nose, and the fond little laughs that sounded from you did so of their own volition, you being equally overcome with happiness at being home again.
Eddie’s eyes rose from you to somewhere over your shoulder, and he raised an eyebrow with a smirk at that place even as he kept you firmly in his arms.
“Are you just going to watch or are you going to say ‘hello’ to our wife, lover boy?” He teased, and you didn’t even need to crane your head back to know that Volt was taking careful steps towards the two of you. Eddie’s hands loosened their grip on your waist so that Volt could turn you to face him, dipping his head to sweep you into a kiss. A gentle one; slow, smooth, like he was happy to take his time with you to properly welcome you back home. And Eddie’s hands were working steadfastly to undo the ties of your dress, a task he’d become rather good at over the last few years. Before you knew it, your petticoat was joining your dress in a pile on the floor and Volt was sweeping you into his arms completely. You weren’t sure the three of you ever got to the bedroom at such a speed.
Well, maybe you could take a little time to tell them your news.
***
When the three of you had finished readying for bed, Eddie and Volt were happy to tuck you between them on the mattress. There was no surprise there, the two of them having had it all to themselves for the last few days. Even you were starting to miss the fire’s level of heat that you felt when pressed between them. Everything about the scene made you feel soft. All warm and comforted and safe in this little space that the three of you had made together. This was the moment. And though your hands had begun to shake as the trepidation crept back in, you knew that there was not more waiting.
You had hardly laid down by the time Volt’s eyes were closing, and you practically jumped on him to keep him awake, leaving him jolting to look at you with a start while Eddie chuckled at the pair of you.
“Yes, darling?” Volt asked, voice lightened by the laugh that laced through it. You sat up quickly, spinning to face them with a shaky grin on your face.
“I have something to tell you,” You whispered like a secret, though you were sure your smile was shining bright in the darkness and making the whole scene much more worrying than you were looking to. These two knew what you looked like in every single mood you could experience. They’d seen you thrilled beyond belief and weeping brokenly in memory of the horrors you’d all lived through. But you were fairly certain they’d never seen you genuinely nervous.
You curled your hands into fists, attempting to halt the trembling as you drew in and released a slow, deep breath, “Do you remember that thing that happened that we don’t talk about?” You let your voice peter out, hoping that the vague notion would still be enough for them to understand, though the wholly confused expressions they were slowly putting on crushed those hopes swiftly.
“You’re going to have to be more specific, darling,” Volt encouraged, his voice an equal softness to yours as a smile was added to his perplexity. Your concern had to be showing fiercely on your own expression, then, for him to be trying to show his support.
“With the-” You gently tapped the side of one of your fists against where your scar was.
“Are you-” Eddie started as he locked onto the movement, “describing the brutal rebel attack that nearly killed you as-” He mimicked the movement slowly. This was certainly not your finest moment.
“Yes?” You dropped your head into your hands, tenting your fingers over your mouth and nose and blinking your eyes a few times in a thinly veiled attempt to keep the tears that were threatening you from falling. The line item ‘mood swings’ on Farya’s parchment of potential symptoms burned like fire in your mind. “I’m sorry, this isn’t how I wanted this to go-” Eddie and Volt immediately shifted into full-blown care mode at the sight of unfallen tears. You were not someone who got visibly emotional easily. It had only happened a handful of times in your former kingdom and even less now that the three of you had found this life for yourselves with far fewer subjects to stir negative emotions.
“No, no, sparkler. It’s alright. Is something wrong?” Eddie and Volt moved together to take one of your hands into each of theirs, and the smile that fought its way forward only added to the emotional thunderstorm you were experiencing. They were so sweet, always jumping to ensure you were cared for. You prayed to whoever was listening that it didn’t end when you shared this with them.
“No, nothing’s wrong-” You paused. Inhale, exhale, wipe your eyes, hands back in theirs. It repeated in your mind like a mantra for what felt like far too long until your heart rate had come back down and your eyes had dried, “Dolly wasn’t the only reason I went back to Lumireign. I also went back to see Farya,” You shot Volt a pleading look as he opened his mouth to express his worry, and thankfully the former knight stifled it to allow you to continue uninterrupted. You weren’t entirely sure you wouldn’t start into another fit of emotional turmoil if he hadn’t.
“And she determined that,” Inhale, exhale. You let your eyes fall shut, “I’m pregnant.”
The room was silent. And with your self-limitation of your sight at the moment, the only thing you truly had to work off of was the rhythm of your trio of offset breaths against the night and the gentle tug of Volt’s hand away from yours. Had you been correct in your assumptions that this was not something they wanted anymore? Was Volt pulling away to no longer have to touch you now that you had trapped him in a scenario he never wanted? There was no telling what would happen if that was the case. You didn’t want to ever be without them. But you would never know until you risked looking at them.
You cracked one eye open, and when you got very little information from that movement, you resigned yourself to the fact that you were going to have to look Eddie and Volt properly in the eyes.
If you had thought you were a bundle of emotions, your boys seemed to be no better.
Shockingly, Eddie’s cheeks looked wet even in the dark as he stared at you with eyes so big they almost eclipsed the whites around them completely. Volt had- it seemed- pulled his hand away so it could join the other in its position over his mouth, though his eyes were as wide and shining as Eddie’s.
Then you felt the gentle pull on your hand. Eddie was drawing you closer to him, and you weren’t one to ever argue with that notion. Not even the very day you met him twirling over the ballroom dance floor in what would be only the beginning of your story. You slipped slowly into his lap, and you lived there for a moment as his touch moved to your cheeks, a hand on each keeping you firmly within his sight that flicked over every inch of you as if he hadn’t seen you every single day for several years.
The sound of fabric shifting against fabric gave away Volt’s movements before he came into view beside Eddie, draping an arm around him as he tucked his body as close to the two of you as he could get.
“Are you going to say anything or just keep staring at me?” You teased, anxious for some form of real confirmation of how this discussion was going to go. Truthfully, you wanted as much time as possible to collect yourself if the silence and shock were born out of fear or worry or-
“I didn’t think it was possible for me to love you more than I already did,” Eddie whispered, and those hands you adored so much pulled you close to him so that he could press his lips to yours. It said everything you’d needed; all the care he had for you shining through in the delicate way his touch fell to your waist and all the pure, unfathomable adoration he felt for the life he’d made with you and Volt showing in how he easily separated from you when Volt’s hand slipped under your chin. You were made to look at the once-knight for a heated instant before you were a hair’s breadth from your lips connecting. He took that minuscule separation to whisper against you.
“There are truly no men on this earth more fortunate than Eddie and I, my queen.”
When he captured you in his kiss, you let yourself melt into his touch as the tension you had felt evaporated from you in its entirety. They were happy. They were happy and you were happy and you were going to be a family, and didn’t that just light you up in a million different ways?
Late into the night, when the three of you had wasted hours discussing the plans to add a nursery to the cottage and your thoughts on whether the baby would be a boy or a girl- you were vehement that you were carrying a girl, despite having only known of ‘her’ existence for a mere handful of days- and the boys had fawned repeatedly over how this child was sure to be the greatest possible combination of their parents- referencing your mind and Volt’s charm and Eddie’s compassion- you laid your head back in the bed with a smile as you stared up at the ceiling.
And there was no chandelier to be seen above you. There was no light streaming through nearby balcony windows. There was no safe room hidden in a nearby fireplace or patched cracks from damage done during a night you’d never forget.
But there was the scratch of stubble against your neck and long white hair draping over your forehead.
The child you were carrying would not grow up roaming the halls of a castle or taking lessons to one day hold a throne and a heavy crown on their head. They would not be the heir that Lumireign had wanted so desperately. But they would be able to run free like you’d always dreamed, and feel the salt air in their lungs in ways you couldn’t have when you were a child.
All of your choices, all of the pain and the sorrow and the unbridled joy, it had led you here. And you were certain of your future for the first time in your life.
Because you knew- sweltering under the sleeping heat of the pair who looked at you like you hung the moon and her stars- whoever this child grew to be, they were going to have parents that loved them with everything they had.