Work Text:
Aomine Daiki had never thought of learning anatomy. Not once in his whole life time did the human body pick his interest. But on one occasion where he bumped into Midorima and his supposed-to-be-boyfriend(-but-Midorima-is-still-tsun-to-admit) in a cafe near his college, he became slightly more interested.
“Shin-chan, you’re the master of anatomy. You’ve studied this course last semester! You got a perfect A for that!” The boyfriend whined, and when Aomine had stepped inside the cafe, entering the boyfriend’s hawk eye zone, the raven-haired look back and greeted him.
Midorima, being the ever gracious asshole, simply grunted when they had eye contact.
“What ya got there, huh?” Aomine asked, leaning down to look at the… fuck, Aomine really doesn’t have a clue to what the boyfriend’s name is.
“Anatomy! About the face. And everything in it.” The boyfriend responded, not looking up and continued to write on another notebook. “Answer my question, Shin-chan!”
“Yeah, answer his question, Midorima!” Aomine joined in, casually looking at the complicated notes the previous Ace of Shuutoku has.
“I do not need to answer to such a very improper question, Takao!” Midorima’s cheeks flared up and he looked away, avoiding his and Takao’s (Finally, the name of the boyfriend was mentioned!) eyes.
“Why?” Takao leaned forward, grinning. He set down his pen and placed his forearms on the table. Studies ignored.
“What was the question anyway?” Aomine asked, sitting down on the empty chair between the two.
“Why is the tongue the strongest muscle?” Takao repeated the question with a sly smile. Obviously, this was a medical joke and Aomine didn’t want to know any further—but that grin. The tension—sexual tension, if he were to admit, was building up between the idiot couple.
“It is the strongest muscle relative to its size. Nothing more.” Midorima answered, which was probably the same response as a while ago.
“Think green, Shin-chan~” Takao teased.
Aomine wondered. What was with the tongue? What about it being the strongest muscle? And how would anything medical be green?
“As I’ve said—! Aomine, get your hands off my notes!” Midorima slapped Aomine’s hand away.
“Che.” Aomine looked away and took a bite out of whoever’s sandwich was on the table. (He forgot to buy his food.)
“Fine, Shin-chan, and so I could enlighten Aomine-san too!” Takao grinned. “Because with just one sweep of the tongue, a woman’s hips—“, but before he could finish, Midorima’s hand was on the interrupted’s mouth.
“The hips? The hips would what?” Aomine looked at a passing female. (The boobs weren’t big enough to let Aomine’s eyes linger.)
“Idiots, shut up!” Midorima hissed, glaring at the two of them.
“The hips would bu—jiii…“ Takao tried to say, but Midorima had somehow placed the large bread he had ordered on Takao’s mouth.
“Bu?” Aomine urged on.
Takao glared at Midorima. (For a second, Aomine thought of it as a cute gesture.) He chewed on the bread really fast, gulped down, and quickly stated, “With one sweep of the tongue, a woman’s hips may buckle.”
Midorima rubbed his temples and sighed. Aomine had never done the act, even if others presume he already had. This vital information…
“Ei! Takao, you’ll be my physical therapist someday. I’m going to hire you.” Aomine happily said, slowly clapping.
“If this idiot does something Momoi doesn’t like, you’re dead, Takao.” Midorima coughed, trying his best to hide his laughter from the look Takao was giving him.
“P…pleasure is all mine,” Takao responded with a very forced laugh. He picked up his notebook and waved it gently. “A-aomine, we need to study for our exam tomorrow.”
Aomine nodded, stood up, and waved as he continued to walk out of the cafe. “I’ll contact you soon. Tell me more about the human body next time, Takao!”
When he was out the door, he heard Takao start to shout at Midorima, who seemed to be shaking.
“Traitor! Betrayer! That was so uncomfortable! What the fucking hell, Midorima! I thought you were the last to get laid, but fucking hell, that that that guy still hasn’t? He has a freaking beautiful pink-haired, big breasted, childhood friend! You’re a devil, Shintarou!”
“Language, Takao!” Midorima said between fits of laughter. “And stop this nonsense, the other people are looking at us!”
“He’s like a fucking angel trapped in that body!” Takao continued, but Aomine had stopped listening. He continued to walk back to his apartment with the sole information in his head. Maybe he should finally ask Momoi to be his girlfriend and try out what Takao said.
BONUS:
“Dai-chan, where’s my Mocha Latte?” Momoi asked, when Aomine locked the door behind him.
Crap.