Work Text:
[In Great Lakes City, Ronnie Anne and Sid - alongside Laird, Nikki and Casey - are playing volleyball at the beach. Nikki is the referee and the teams are Ronnie Anne and Sid vs Casey and Laird.]
Ronnie Anne: Ready to fall to the opposite team, Casey and Laird?
Casey: That’s what we should be asking you two.
Sid: I ain’t ready to lose yet!
Laird: Too bad Sameer and Becky are on holiday, otherwise they’d be enjoying this.
[Nikki blows the whistle and the two play the game. It goes on for a few minutes until Casey smacks it towards Sid, which hits her in the face and sends her crashing into the pier, making the others wince]
Sid: You win this round. [slides off the pier]
Ronnie Anne: Sid!
[she and the other kids rush over to her.]
Nikki: Sid, you alright?
Sid: Yeah, just that the ball was thrown too hard.
Casey: It sounded like a bone breaking. Sorry about that, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.
Laird: Well, that’s a relief. It was a lucky break. [suddenly horrified and pointing] BROKEN, BROKEN, BROKEN!
[Ronnie Anne, Nikki and Casey cringe in disgust. Sid looks at her wrist, which is oddly bent.]
Sid: Oh no, it was just my knuckles cracking. Let me fix it. [She forcefully straightens it out, causing a crack and her to wince in pain] See? Nothing’s wrong now!
Ronnie Anne: You sure?
Sid: Ronnie, what kind of person would I be if I always let life get me down?
Casey: If you say so…
Ronnie Anne: Does that mean you’re ready for taking Vito‘s dogs for a walk tomorrow?
Sid: Absolutely!
[The next day, Sid is being dragged by the dogs, who are barking mad. Again, she’s sent hurling, this time into a tree. Her arm looks more broken.]
Laird: Okay, that really sounded like a broken bone.
Sid: Nah, that was just a sprain.
[the others aren’t convinced]
Sid: Or maybe I have the gene that allows me to be double-jointed!
Ronnie Anne: Sid, I don't think that's just a sp-sprain, you-you need to see the doctor.
Skipper: Doctor? Nah, I’ll be okay.
Laird: [uncovering his face] But, Sid, look at it. Arms don't bend that way.
Sid: Again, I might be double-jointed!
Nikki: Great! I guess you don’t have to miss our improv 12 Is Midnight concert!
Sid: Sure, that is a good thing alright [nervously chuckles]
[They’re at Ronnie Anne’s apartment. Ronnie Anne is on a makeshift stage with mannequins whilst the rest of the children are watching.]
Ronnie Anne and her friend group: [singing] Classic magic
No one's ever gonna get past it
If you open yourself to a different sound
No one's ever gonna let you down
Classic magic
This cool is just a habit
Take your time and get it right
This sound is Twelve is Midnight!
Ronnie: Stage dive!
Nikki: Wait, no!
[Ronnie Anne lands on Sid, whose arms makes an audible crack, making her groan in pain.]
Casey: That arm is looking swollen right now.
Sid: Okay, maybe it wasn’t a sprain.
Ronnie Anne: That’s it! We’re taking you to the hospital to get your arm sorted out!
Nikki: Don’t we have to tell her parents?
[Sergio suddenly pops up]
Sergio: Of course, so it does not get infected!
Ronnie Anne, Nikki, Casey and Laird: INFECTED!?
[Later at the hospital, a doctor [carricature of Carlos Casagrande’s voice actor] is looking over an X-Ray of Sid’s arm with her parents present.]
Doctor: Yep, that’s definitely a broken arm. I would recommend avoiding extreme activities for at least 2 months.
[Sid tries to move her arm, but yelps in pain.]
Doctor: Now, I know what you’re thinking. We’re going to use a big and scary needle. Thankfully, we doctors have more than one way to treat a patient. So, instead, we’re going to use a special ointment known as topical cream. [gets out the cream]
Sid: What cream?
Doctor: Also called lotions, gels and foams. This is meant to relax the muscles, thus allowing for enhanced healing. Now, try to relax, this won’t hurt a bit.
[The cream is applied on Sid’s arm. Somehow, this makes her babble gibberish and grin goofily.]
Doctor: See? No need for a needle. [wraps the arm in a sling]
Doctor: [to the rest of the Changs] I've applied a powerful muscle relaxant for the pain. And this sterile wrap should keep her from doing anymore damage until she heals. However, I'd like to keep her under observation for just a few days. But she'll be fine.
[As the doctor and Changs leave, but not before the latter says bye and reassurements, Sid sits up swaying dizzily and still babbling gibberish as she looks around the room with blurred vision before it clears up and she sees an open window.]
Sid: Aha! Woah!
[She tries to get out of bed, but the effects of the cream is making her underestimate heights, and so she stumbles and land flat on her face. The half-Chinese girl then tries to leap towards the window only to smack herself on the wall. Picking up some gauze, she tries to throw it at the top of the TV, but it turns it on instead and smacks her in the face, revealing a show with doctors.]
TV Nurse: Oh, doctor. Did we operate in time? [groans in annoyance]
TV Doctor: Why doctor. You know there's always time... for love.
[The nurse and the doctor both made out through their masks. Sid squees, before she remembers what she’s doing and tosses the roll of gauze and it lands right on top of the TV. Meanwhile…]
Nikki: Man, I hope Sid’s okay. That arm looked really broken!
Laird: Maybe to the point where they have to-
Ronnie Anne: Don’t think like that. We mustn’t judge a situation until we have all the facts! We just need to see how she is.
Casey: You do realise we’re trepassing on hospital grounds?
Ronnie Anne: It’s only because we want to see how Sid’s doing. We won’t be long.
[The kids sneak over to where Sid’s room is. Once they reach the window, they stand on top of each other with Casey at the bottom, Laird and Nikki standing on top of him, and Ronnie Anne standing on top of Nikki.]
Casey: All right, Ronnie Anne. Now describe to us exactly what you see.
Ronnie Anne: [staring at the wall] Um, wall. Possibly brick.
Casey: We're one kid short. How are we supposed to get intel on Sid’s condition, if we can't-
Ronnie Anne: [cutting off Casey] Wait! Listen!
TV Nurse: But, doctor, we can't just give up on her!
[The kids gasp]
TV Doctor: I'm afraid the infection is just too far along. It's reached the brain…
[Ronnie Anne gasps unaware that it's on TV]
TV Doctor: It's done things. Horrible things.
[Sid tries to crawl up the desk as she coughs and groans as if he was dying.]
TV Doctor: There's simply... nothing we can do...
Nikki: [remembering what Sergio had said earlier] The infection!
TV Doctor: I'm so sorry. It's over.
[Sid throws a gauze yet again, but it just switches the TV off. She loses her grip and falls onto the ground, knocking over a bucket with a mop, which tilts over and causes a bottle of white powder to fly into the air and hit her in the face and begin coughing and wheezing harshly. Back outside, Ronnie Anne looks horrified as she listens to Sid coughing until he hears her gasp raggedly and lets out one last cough, before he hears something fall over and then he immediately assumes the worst.]
Casey: I can’t believe it. Sid’s dead?
Nikki: [makes a sad noise]
Laird: I’m afraid so. The doctors never lie.
Ronnie Anne: Sid is... gone. It... it can't be. What are we going to do?
Laird: We'll honor her the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like heroes.
[Smash cut to Ronnie Anne’s house where they’re all bawling their eyes out over Sid’s “death” (not really dead but they don’t know that). Nikki picks up a picture of Sid Chang.]
Nikki: Why? Why?! WHY?!?
Casey: No, it should have been me! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!
[Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Sid finally reaches the window. The girl sighs before she crawls out the window. And yet, the gauze that got stuck to her foot gets stuck on the window frame, causing her to stumble and fall, but not before she’s wrapped up in it. After a moment, she sits up looking like a zombie as lightning flashes and thunder strikes behind her. Her face is covered in white powder and her body is wrapped up in gauze as is her unbroken arm before she gets up and begins limping back to Ronnie Anne’s apartment babbling gibberish.]
[Back at the apartment…]
Ronnie Anne: No, it has to be more y’know, friendly and loyal.
Laird: Like this?
[He does the fistbump again]
Ronnie Anne: Yes! That’s the one! If only Sid was still here…
[Thunder clap]
Casey: What was that?
Nikki: Just some thunder.
[Said thunder causes a blackout]
Laird: Oh dear.
Sergio: Who wants some scary stories!?
Everyone: NO!
Ronnie Anne: I mean, not today. Maybe on Halloween.
Sergio: Ark, you guys are no fun.
[They hear the door open.]
Casey: Is that the Casagrandes back yet?
Ronnie Anne: If the WiFi was working, I’d track them!
Sid: [offscreen] Can I have a light, please?
Nikki: Sure thing, just let me. [switches one on] Wait, what?
[The flash it upon the new person, which is…]
Ronnie Anne’s friend group: SID!?
[“Zombie” Sid growls as she steps forward.]
Ronnie Anne: Sid?
Laird: It's not Sid. At least, not anymore. You heard the doctor, that infection did things to her brain!
[He pulls Nikki, Casey and Ronnie Anne toward him so he was shining the flashlight in between them before they looked back at Sid]
Laird: Horrible things! Horrible, zombie things!
[they all gasp]
Sergio: Sid’s not a zombie. That’s just terrible makeup and effects of numbing cream.
Laird: Yeah, right. And I’m the president of Ukraine.
Ronnie Anne: Sid, it’s us! Your friends!
[Sid continues to growl]
Casey: Is it dangerous?
Laird: Oh, you bet your succulent cerebral cortex, she is now. [He pulls out four blue helmets and plonks them on his, Casey’s, Nikki's, and Ronnie Anne’s heads] Just try to avoid eye contact, wear something to protect the brain area…
[The four tweens nervously begin inching away from Sid as she limps closer to them while they try not to panic]
Laird: …and move slowly towards-
Sid: [tries to leap forward]
Laird: AUGH, IT'S TRYING TO DEVOUR US ALL!
Ronnie Anne: That’s not Sid anymore! Run!
[They all run away, leaving Sid to stare in confusion at what’s gotten into them. Nikki, Casey, Laird and Ronnie Anne run out of the apartment block and towards anywhere that’s safe.]
Nikki: I think we lost her. Let me just slowly poke my head around this blind corner to make sure-
Sid: [gibberish roar]
[The “uninfected” kids scream as their helmets come off before they run. Moments later, they hide under a bench. They look scared as they watch Sid limp past them. Casey whimpers in fear but Ronnie Anne quickly reaches over and covers his mouth. Sid stops limping past them before she turns around and growls discovering where they are. The four tweens scream as they jump out of their hiding place and zip away.]
Ronnie Anne: Okay, based on what I know about zombies the safest place to hide is in a small dark room with creepy lighting.
[Sid is chasing them, speaking gibberish]
Ronnie Anne: EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED IS A LIE!!!!
Nikki: What can we do? There’s no way anyone would take us seriously!
Laird: Police?
Nikki: Could arrest us for false call.
Casey: Military?
Nikki: Small scale and not their deal.
Ronnie Anne: Parents?
Nikki: Don’t even go there!
Ronnie Anne: I don’t want to die by having my brain eaten!
[They look behind to see that Sid is closer than they realise]
Casey: Well, you know what they say, every brain for itself!
[They run into a long building, Sid following after. They reach the top floor (outside) and close the door.]
Ronnie Anne: Is there any way we can help her?
[Sid’s gibberish gets louder]
Laird: Are you daft?! There is no cure for chronic zombieism.
Ronnie Anne: No cure or no known cure?
Laird: ….
Casey: ….
Nikki: ….That’s a good point.
Ronnie Anne: [gasps] That’s it! We’ll find out the cure by capturing Sid! We do this by a grueling series of increasingly painful test to every part of Sid’s body.
Casey: But, isn’t that unethical?
Ronnie Anne: This is a fanfic of a cartoon, not everything has to be taken seriously.
Nikki: Plus, she’s a zombie. It won’t hurt a bit!
[Sid, who’s caught up to them, opens up the door. She groans, looking around, until she sees a broken mirror on the ground. She sees that, sure enough, she looks just like a zombie. The Chang girl finally understands why her friends have been running away. She feels ashamed.]
Nikki: [comes out with a net] Come here, Sid, I promise that this is for your own good.
Sid: [confused, then her eyes widen in realisation] Oh heck no! [she goes to move away]
Nikki: It didn’t work! Plan B!
Ronnie Anne: Well, I hate to sound like Lynn Jr, but DOGPILE!
[Ronnie Anne, Nikki, Casey and Laird all run out and pounce upon Sid in a dogpile and begin to restrain her]
Casey: Remember, she can’t feel a thing!
[Sid panics and breaks free. She manages to make it a few feet before she’s dogpiled again.]
Nikki: No mercy this time!
Sid: N... No. St-St... Stop! STOP!
[Casey, Ronnie Anne, Nikki and Laird stop and get off of her, with shocked faces.]
Laird: It speaks!?
Sid: I'm…not… a zombie…
Ronnie Anne: But… the infection. We heard the doctor say that-
Sid: That was a TV show that I accidentally turned on while trying to escape!
Other kids: ..Oh.
Sid: Guys, friends, my sisters and brothers from another set of misters and mothers, take a good look at me! All I've got is a broken arm, and I'm pretty sure that's not contagious.
Nikki: [confused] Then, why were you chasing us?
Sid: Because it itches like sandpaper underpants. Can one of you scratch maneuvers and have it double-time please?
[The others hesitate. They look to each other and nod. Everyone walks over to Sid.]
Sid: Oh, thank goo-
Ronnie Anne: NOW!!
[The children all tackle Sid, who quickly jumps backward, and the kids jump toward her and grab her. They are hovering over the ground.]
Nikki: Nice try, zombie! [she and the others look down] Uh-oh.
[It clicks for them that they aren't on the roof anymore. By the time they realize this, they all scream as they fall before they all land on the ground with a crash. Cut to a few days later, when the friend group are in hospital together. Sid is now completely bandaged except for her face. Ronnie Anne has a broken left leg and a broken right arm. Laird has shattered glasses, black eyes and a broken leg. Nikki has a concussion. And finally, Casey is in crutches.]
Casey: Okay, Sid, we were wrong about you being a zombie. Oww…
Sid Chang: And I was wrong about my injuries being contagious. I hope we all learned something today.
Nikki: When one of us tells us that they aren’t a monster, we better take their word for it.
Ronnie Anne: Now we’re stuck in casts, our families will be stuck taking care of us when we’re discharged and we’ll stuck at home missing the 12 is Midnight concert tonight. They’ll be other concerts, but still.
Sergio: [offscreen] Awk! I told you all so!
[They all groan, ending the story.]
END
