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Dan was the first to break the warmth of their shared silence.
Barely audible, he murmured, “You look a bit like the moon.”
Phil smirked, raising an eyebrow.
“How’s that?”
Dan let out a hum as he gazed up at the great Northern sky above them, religiously studying each star as if it was worth worshipping.
Phil sat quietly next to him, admiring the way Dan’s side profile reflected pure light against his shoddy window. He traced the gleam of the moon from the tips of his boyfriend’s fringe down to the sharp curve of his chin.
He inched closer, so as to overlap their crossed legs on the bunk bed mattress. He felt his breath merge into Dan’s, as his chest heaved with a tingling vibration. Something like butterflies.
Phil cleared his throat, whispering, “I reckon you look a bit like the moon, too.”
At this, Dan finally turned his head. His brows crinkled down and his face settled into that oft confused expression. A smile slowly tugged at his lips before he cocked his head to the side. A silent inquiry, tell me more.
It didn’t take long for Phil to learn that Dan loved to communicate this way, in gestures and indiscernible twitches that could tell a much deeper story than that of his words. Dan could talk for hours, too, about anything under the sun, but when it came to the more vulnerable subjects, his mouth dried up. Things like how he felt about himself. His fears, his hopes, his dreams. His Phil.
One day, he would vocalize all of his feelings in great detail. Until then, Phil could decipher all of Dan’s secrets through their own language, consisting by and large of head tilts and eyebrow raises.
“It’s your spots. Your freckles. They used to make me think of constellations, ‘cause I’d trace them from your cheeks to your stomach, ‘n see what lines they made.”
Dan let out a short exhale, gazing deep into blue eyes.
“So…why the moon?”
Phil brushed a strand of Dan’s straightened hair behind his ear, so as to uncover a gold
mine of freckles smattered beneath the younger boy’s eyes. Phil had memorized their location by now. Gently, he dotted each one with his finger, slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth over the softer edges of Dan’s cheekbones.
“Y’know how… when you look at the moon, in the light, when the stars go onto it and it starts to glow, you can see all its spots.”
“Sure, yeah. The craters.” Dan whispered. Or faults, he thought to himself.
Somehow, Phil picked up on this.
“Right, so, the craters, the moon spots, remind me a lot of your spots, because I get to see them on you when you’re happy. They show up when you’re smiling, when we’re in the sun. Like when the light hits the moon, and suddenly, you get to see this whole new beautiful side to it that you can’t really look at unless it’s shining. And when you’re shining, Dan, I get to see all the most beautiful parts of you. I hope I get to see your spots forever.”
Shit, Phil thought, in the deafening silence that followed. He definitely said too much, and maybe he shouldn’t have taken up talking anyway. He didn’t quite plan out what he was saying, ever. For better or for worse, he would just blurt out what his heart said.
His mouth had glued itself shut, tongue tied as he waited for a reply.
But Dan was only staring at him, seemingly staring into him, deep down into Phil’s soul.
At least, that’s how it felt to Phil. Dan denied all of that, saying souls weren’t real, but sometimes, when Phil looked at Dan and felt Dan really looking back at him, he could guarantee they were seeing a thousand layers deep into each other.
Dan’s chocolate eyes began to gleam, with a twinge of sadness and a pang of exhilaration, and suddenly, they were all Phil could think about. Phil thought he could stay looking into Dan’s soul and speaking their silent language forever.
As Dan finally spoke, his voice cracked and shook like the thunder outside.
“Fuck, warn a guy when you’re gonna go all sentimental. I was just gonna say you looked like the moon ‘cause you’re bloody pale.”
At this, Phil broke into a toothy smile, tongue sticking out of his mouth. He knew when Dan said that, he meant something entirely different. Of course he did. But Phil was glad for Dan’s sarcasm, too, his relentless ability to keep them both laughing.
When they bared their emotions in this way, a little part of Phil worried that if they got any more sincere, Dan would see something about Phil he wouldn’t like.
But that thought disappeared as quickly as it came. In an instant, a humongous flash had lit up the insides of Dan’s eyes, and slowly, the whole room turned the same luminous shade. Before Phil could register what had happened, Dan had turned away from him, and was now shaking his shoulder with vigor.
“Phil! Look outside!”
The boys gasped simultaneously, as a gleaming ball of lightning appeared to soar over the valley of houses outside Phil’s window. It lit up every street corner, window, and crack on the pavement. Phil turned to Dan in amazement, only to witness all of Dan’s perfect markings ablaze under the same glowing light.
Dan was already turned towards him, mouth agape.
“You just saw that, right?”
Phil nodded, eyes wide.
“I’m not hallucinating?”
The older boy smiled again, bigger this time, and shook his head. He peered outside again, at the rain pattering down against the plexiglass that was here when he first saw Dan, first heard him, first touched him.
Naturally, he and Dan would witness pure magic together. It just made sense.
“I…,” Phil started, lost for words again.
He kissed Dan instead, big and warm and electrifying, like a ball of lightning between them.