Chapter Text
It really was a nice bit of forest. The grass looks soft; the trees were old but there were still wide patches of sun in places. Will swung the picnic basket a little, giving the impression of being truly care-free.
Trixie took his hand. “Let’s have our picnic here!” she chirped as they reached a sunny spot next to a gnarled old tree.
“Anything you want, babe,” Will said as Trixie laid out the blanket on the grass.
Will looked into the basket. “What would you like to eat first?”
“I think the first thing I want to taste is your cock.”
Keeley hit pause and cast her phone screen onto the big TV. The resolution wasn’t great, but she was 99% sure that the guy about to get his dick sucked by Trixie Tenner was, in fact, Will the kitman at Richmond.
She hit play.
Trixie got on her knees and for a bit there wasn’t really any way to know if it was Will, that was to say she’d never seen more than Will’s face. And come to think of it, she’d never seen Will dressed in any way that wasn’t complete coverage. When the camera pulled back, Will had taken his shirt off and…
‘Okay. Wow.’ If that was Will, he was covering at least one sleeve of intricate tattoos.
He had Trixie on her back now and looked like he was doing a pretty good job when a bunch of cut-price Tolkien elves appeared from the trees to arrest them for desecrating their sacred grove.
“Holy shit.”
Keeley hit pause again so she could go make popcorn.
~
Will was folding towels when the door opened. He didn’t even bother looking up from his work, just wondered who was about to have a fight or a breakdown. People really didn’t appreciate that this was basically his office.
“Will?”
Will looked up. “Hi, Keeley. If you’re looking for Roy, I haven’t seen him. I think he’s hiding from Ms Welton.”
“Um, no, actually looking for you.”
“Okay?” Keeley was shifting oddly, and Will was suddenly worried that maybe his arrangement with the team had gotten into the hands of the press or the internet or something and he was about to have his very nice and happy life blown up. “Is everything alright?”
“Oh, um, yes, I think, look I’m the last one to judge here, really but um… by any chance have you ever been involved in… adult cinema?” Keeley’s voice hit an interesting pitch at the end.
Will relaxed. “Oh, yeah, a few years back. Between jobs, needed money, knew some people.”
Keeley relaxed as well. “Okay, I was worried I was going to have to tell you you had a doppelgänger who was getting sucked off by Trixie Tenner and putting it on the net.”
Will laughed. “Nope. It’s just expensive to live in London.”
“You’re talking to a girl who jumped topless out of an aeroplane while eating a burger. I know the gig.” Keeley seemed to think for a moment. “So, all those tats?”
“Yeah, all mine.”
“Wicked! Can I see?”
Will shrugged. If she’d seen his movies, then she’d seen way more than his ink. “Sure.” He took off his jacket and pulled his shirts over his head. That was the moment he remembered that he was going out with Richard right after work and had put in the barbells he’d been gifted by the Frenchman. That and Paul’s full body rope work a few nights earlier had left some interesting patterns on his skin. Well, Keeley had dated footballers and was a page six girl. Like she said, she knew the gig.
“Woah. That is serious work. Did you design them?”
“I wish I had that kind of talent. I know a guy. You can hand him stick figures and scribbles and he hands you back a real design. I’m saving up to get matching ones down the outside of each thigh, but I’ll also need a stretch of time to just heal.”
He was just turning to show Keeley the back of his shoulders when the door banged open and Roy stomped in. Whatever Roy was going to say or do or ask was stopped short as he froze.
“Hey, babe. Will was showing me his tattoos.” Keeley said quickly. “Don’t know why he keeps them covered up all the time, this is some seriously good work.”
“Is there something you need coach?” Will asked, trying to get Roy’s brain back onto whatever track it had been on.
“Umm… I was just looking for-” Roy trailed off again as Will started to pull his T-shirt back on. “Hold up a second.”
“What?” Will put on his best innocent face.
Roy stepped up a bit closer to him and squinted. “That's bruising. A lot of it.”
Will had a hard time believing Roy was that vanilla. If he thought that counted as a lot of bruising it was a good thing Will still had his pants on. “Shibari. Japanese rope bondage. Half the point is to leave pretty patterns.” Roy opened his mouth. “Safe, sane, and very consensual,” Will said quickly, wanting to derail whatever Roy was about to say. “I do enjoy things beyond folding towels, you know.”
“That’s right you do!” Keeley said and offered him a high five which he took.
“Right, okay, just-”
The door slammed open again. Will sighed.
“Kent!” Ms Welton shouted. “Get your-” she stopped “What is going on in here?”
“Will’s showing me his tattoos while Roy interrogates him about his sex life.” Keeley answered before anyone else could.
“Is there anything going on here I need to bring human resources in on, Will?” Ms Welton asked quickly, and he did appreciate that. He’d heard stories about things under the previous management.
“No,” Will said quickly and started putting on t-shirt again.
“Hold on,” Ms Welton said.
He sighed. “Why do I bother to get dressed?”
“‘Cause you’d spend all day distracting the girls.” Keeley said. “You're not half fit ya know.”
He grinned at Keeley. “I do know.” She gave him another high five.
Ms Welton stepped up to him. Will moved to stand at what would be attention, if he was still in service.
She held her pinkie finger just a hair away from one of the gems on his chest. “Those are real.”
“I’ve been told they’re lab grown and the gold is from recycled electronics. About as ethical as you can get.”
Ms Welton made a little click with her tongue as Roy muttered oh God.
“And in Richmond colours. Should I ask which player you’re involved with, or will I just be stepping into drama?”
Will kept his face completely neutral. Then Keeley took a deep breath in, her eyes going wide.
“Ohmygoditsallofthem!” She blurted out. “Or a whole bunch at least.”
“What!?” Roy and Ms Welton snapped in unison.
Will gave up and dropped his face to his hand. He should be impressed that they’d made it over a year without the bosses working it out.
“Technically, that was just once,” he said. “I have a… queer platonic relationship with the majority of them now and a more physically intimate relationship with the rest. I also babysit for Paul sometimes. His wife actually offered me a job as a full-time nanny if I want to leave here.”
“When did- I mean- If this gets out!” Ms Welton started.
“I bent over for the whole team when they beat Real Madrid. My idea. And that was well over a year ago. Coach Beard checks in with me once a week and everyone agrees that he gets to push the big red button if he smells anything fishy. And since no one wants to be the one who ruins it for everyone else everyone plays by the rules.”
“Then how did Keeley work it out!?”
Will was curious as well and turned to Keeley. “When I was 19, I was dating three different blokes all on the same side. When their coach asked me about it, I did that same blank face. And that wouldn’t have been a giveaway except when I have to get the guys to do promotions or press on certain days every so often they’ll mutter somethin’ about checking with the schedule, or move something on their schedule." She turned back to Will. "Hello Schedule.”
Will finally pulled his shirt back on.
“Queer Platonic?” Roy said suddenly, obviously still trying to catch up with the conversation.
Will shrugged. “Sex, love, and deep emotional connections are not always connected or gender defined. Some of them want company when they go to film festivals from their home country and none of the rest of the team are interested. Sam says I have a good pallet, so on his days we go check out possible suppliers for the restaurant. Some guys want someone who will make them a pot roast and yorkshire pud, then fall asleep on the couch with them while watching K-dramas on Netflix. And some of the guys like to fuck.”
Roy stared at the ceiling, Ms Welton put her face in her hands. Will looked at Keeley again.
“Let me just say as someone who spent a lot of time as a football sugar baby, get yourself whatever the bloke version of a diamond tennis bracelet is. You want something you can break down and sell off one rock at a time if everything goes pear shaped.”
And this was why Keeley was the best.
“Got a string of alternating pearls and black opals for my birthday.” That had been just one birthday gift.
“Nice.”
“Okay, I think I legally need out of this conversation,” Ms Welton said. “You too, Kent.”
“Hold on,” said Roy as he turned to Keeley. “You said he was showing you his tattoos. How’d you know he had tattoos. He always dresses like it’s the middle of winter, even in summer.
Will caught Keeley’s hesitation. “She found the porn I did a few years back when I was between jobs. She wanted to make sure it was actually me and that I knew it was still on the net. Then she asked to see the tattoos. Actually, I think I only had half a sleeve done at the time.”
Ms Welton waved her hands. “Hold on. When you say you did porn are we talking a page six sort of thing or…?”
“The one I found was feature length.” Keeley said. “Props, costumes, sort of script. I actually paid to get past the first fuck.”
“Was it the one with elves or aliens?” Will asked.
Keeley’s eyes went wide. “There’s one with aliens!?” her voice squeaked.
“Yeah, basically live action hentai. Agreeing to the oviposition scene paid six months of London rent.”
“I am so fucking curious.” Keeley said.
Will shrugged like it was nothing. “I’ll loan you my Blu-ray.”
Ms Welton neatly folded her hands. “I will absolutely be leaving this conversation, and so will Roy,” she said politely. “Now Kent!” she snapped before turning to the door.
Will and Keeley watched them leave, then Keeley turned back to him. “I want to know everything about your film career.”
“Only if you help me fold towels.”