Chapter Text
In the 1930s, Lobotomies were introduced by a neurologist from Portugal named Antonio Egas Moniz, and were performed around the world for people with mental disabilities or illnesses, mainly women (since basically everyone was out to get them for some reason :/ ) to make them more manageable for mental institution workers instead of them having to deal with any ‘difficulties’ within patients. They fell out of favor in around the 1950’s - 1960’s due to antipsychotic medications, and were recognised for their brutality. I do not in any way mean to discredit anyone who suffered through any lobotomies and I wish for them to rest in peace.
Your husband, Gabriel sat across from you in an armchair with his ankles crossed, with a quizzical expression printed across his handsome features while the butler made you both lunch in the mansions kitchen. It was a few days after he had taken you to get a lobotomy at the local hospital, and lobotomies were a reoccurring phenomenon beginning to get practised around the world.
“My darling, what’s the matter? You haven’t been the same since that doctors visit, you’re very spacey…I just want my sweet, sweet Luc…” He says worriedly, placing a hand on your leg. you were staring into space. “Light of my life, you’ve been very quiet, not at all like when we met.” You always were staring at nothing in particular, constantly looking like a dead fish that had 3 stick bugs in a trench coat controlling nothing but your limbs.
‘Oh, well maybe its because you FUCKING LOBOTOMISED ME’ you thought, but your lips weren't able to move and it was difficult to form thoughts sometimes now. You wondered if that was the aim, to shut you up. Of course it was, but no doctors did it very precisely and sometimes the outcomes were drastically different. stick something in their head and jumble up their brain and hope for the best. You were really messed up now, and you couldn't even gaze at your train collection! Or in the eyes of your love… You weren't sure you even WANTED to, but you weren't in any position or state of mind to fully wrap your head around what happened. (that would become how you always felt.)
Gabriel stared at you, his chin resting on his knuckles as he leaned back in the chair. “I’ve taken a few days off work, to look after you darling. I can’t do this every day now. I hope you’ll get used to this feeling, this was only to quiet you down. You understand it was because i love you, right?” Your husband said, leaning forward and clasping your hands. He seemed to be oblivious to what was fully happening. Like he didn't even know he was saying something practically incorrect.
The butler came, and placed the silver tray of small sandwiches made of only the most expensive and delicious ingredients like.. tomatoes.. and olives. You were able to afford many luxuries due to Gabriel being the son of a rich man, and continuing his empire. He only had to do as much as the average person, and you knew he could probably stop working all together and be fine, you had no one to let inherit the money since sadly mpreg wasn't real. (Yet, trust.)
Gabriel brought the sandwich up to your mouth, but although your eyes were on him it looked like you were staring right past him. “Come on, open up my dear. You must be hungry.” Gabriel begged, and tried opening your mouth by gently pulling your jaw and fitting it in, but it fell down your shirt. The butler sprung forward to wipe it up, glancing in Gabriel’s direction. “I don’t know why this is happening, butler! I just want the best for him.” Gabriel cried, grabbing your wrist.
“Yes, quite peculiar.” The butler mumbled, holding back a tone of sarcasm from his voice. You wanted to roll your eyes, but your brain short circuited. Were you mad at your husband? Well, you decided there was no use since he was the only one who could care and take care of you now since YOU yourself were out of the picture. You made excuses in your mind for him, thinking about how it was his mothers suggestion for the surgery, and that he usually followed her coattails, helping her after his father passed. You’d always love him, because you knew how much he loved you even though some of his actions were… strange to say the least.
“Get my husband a purée this instant if that lets him indulge!” Gabriel told the butler with a flick of his hand. As the butler rushed off, Gabriel brushed off his shirt and searched for a thought in your eyes. you blinked, then he sighed. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea…” He murmured, leaning back and rubbing his face.
‘MAYBE?! MAYBE?’ You wanted to yell, but you were trapped in an emotionless looking state. You found you were able to sigh, and when you did Gabriel opened his eyes and then they softened.
“It’s nice that you can still hear me, and hopefully, think as well.” Gabriel murmured, raising a hand to rub your cheek tenderly. You wished you could softly smile. Gabriel was beginning to regret the lobotomy, you could tell.
The butler came back with the purée, you could tell by the sound of his shoes on the polished wood floor. He came beside Gabriel, giving him a glass of what looked to be a thick drink that consisted of various fruits. Your husband brought it to your lips, gently tipping your head back and letting it drip down your throat. “There we go…” He murmured, and after a while of slow feeding, you had drunk it all.
As the day progressed, you noticed Gabriel had cleared all his meetings and was mainly spending time with you. That was more than what usually happened to MAIDENS, but you weren’t his wife, you were his husband. He loved you enough to stray from tradition, and put up with your hyperactive rants. One change was that you thought less, which was calming, in a way.
When it was close to sleeping time, you realised you were able to move your legs in ways that weren't walking, like tapping it, or kicking. Gabriel noticed, and was gleeful to notice you not being a total zombie. He sparked an idea. “Oh, you can move your legs! Oh dear! I have a proposition.” He started, and didn't wait for you to answer, obviously. “If i want to ask a question, you can tap your leg twice for yes, and kick me for no. I’d say thats fair… for what i’ve done to you. Is that okay?” He asked, and you tapped your foot twice. He grinned.
When it was time, he helped you get in to your sleepwear. In bed you both settled down, well you always seemed settled down. Gabriel pulled the blankets up over both of you and picked up a book, and tilted it in your direction so you might’ve been able to read it, but the words blurred and looked like hieroglyphics, so you shut your eyes. You were just now fully experiencing how trapped you felt, and knew you needed to embrace it.