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"Good morning, Sunshine," Buck says as he peels back Eddie's comforter and nudges him gently. It's no longer morning, but he politely doesn't mention that part.
"I know you miss Chris, but you can't stay in bed all day. We need to feed and water you at least," Buck grins, trying to keep his tone light.
It's only been a week since Christopher left, and all Eddie seems interested in doing when they're not working is hiding out from the world.
Luckily, that doesn't include Buck.
Eddie never shuts him out, not since… well, not in a long time, is the point. He deals with his feelings and anger a lot better these days, but nothing could have prepared him for Chris wanting to live with his grandparents in El Paso for a while.
Buck is just as heartbroken about it, but he's been trying to be strong for Eddie. They can't both fall apart, or they won't have anyone to hold them together.
Despite his own sadness, Buck has remained in good spirits and hasn't left Eddie's side all week. Well, other than to go home and pack a bag of extra clothes, which he then shoved into Eddie's room without any explanation.
Eddie didn't even ask; he just cleared out some space in his drawers and then pulled Buck into a hug that seemed to calm him for the first time since Chris left.
"Thank you," he had whispered against Buck's neck, and that's as far as the discussion went.
"I'm not a plant," Eddie smirks as he squints up at Buck. "Besides, we're off today, so I don't have to leave this bed if I don't want to."
"You're stubborn," Buck sighs, but he can't keep the fondness out of his voice. Even though he also misses Chris, Buck is really happy that he can be there for Eddie.
This past week has brought them even closer together, especially after Buck's long-overdue breakup with Tommy.
That's a whole separate issue, but Buck honestly couldn't care less about it. Tommy turned out to be a complete asshole, and Buck is more than ready to move on.
The breakup itself wasn't all that shocking, but Buck hadn't expected things to escalate over what he thought was a nice gesture on his part.
His favorite food truck often parks near the fire station, and (in Buck's opinion) they have the best tacos in all of Los Angeles. He's even gotten Eddie hooked on them, so they've become a staple at the Diaz house when no one feels like cooking.
A few nights ago, Buck decided to surprise Tommy with dinner and a bottle of wine. Tommy's shift had just ended, so Buck thought he might appreciate some food and company.
That was not the case, unfortunately, and all Tommy did was complain.
First, about the fact that Buck showed up unexpectedly, which okay… slightly fair point. He was trying to do something nice, though, so he didn't think it would be an issue. Then, Tommy had the nerve to be disrespectful about the food itself.
"Food trucks are disgusting, Evan. I don't know how you can eat that garbage," he had said while Buck stood in his doorway holding the bag of tacos and the bottle of wine. Buck barely got a greeting out of him before he was slapped in the face with condescension and judgment.
He broke up with Tommy on the spot, even though he really should have done it weeks ago. That was the final nail in the coffin of their non-relationship, and now Buck has more free time to spend with the people who matter.
As he headed back to his Jeep that night, all he could think about was how excited Eddie would have been if Buck had surprised him instead. So that's what he did, and Eddie was thrilled when Buck showed up at his house ten minutes later.
They shared the wine, which made them warm and giggly, and they ate the entire bag of tacos together. Buck eventually mentioned the breakup, but he kept the details a bit vague for the time being.
Because the thing is, the taco disaster actually got him thinking about Eddie, and how perfect he and Buck would be together. No one has ever loved or supported Buck as unconditionally as Eddie does.
No matter what scatterbrained ideas Buck comes up with, Eddie always goes along with them, no questions asked.
(Okay, sometimes there are questions, but he's never judgmental about it.)
Eddie was the one who suggested their costume ideas for Chim's bachelor party, and he fully committed to it.
Eddie always smiles at Buck like he hung the stars in the sky, even currently, when he's having one of the worst weeks of his life.
Eddie is the one person on the planet who seems to find Buck's clipboard antics endearing, while everyone else either cowers in fear (Ravi) or avoids him out of annoyance (Hen and Chim).
Whenever they're spending rare time apart, Eddie initiates at least half of their conversations. It's never one-sided, and Buck always has a bunch of texts or funny videos waiting for him whenever he checks his phone.
Eddie always wants him around, even when it's a spontaneous decision on Buck's part to show up unannounced. That's never been a problem, and Eddie welcomes him with open arms and a cold beer every single time.
Within a week of becoming friends, Eddie made it a point to memorize things like Buck's coffee order or his favorite kind of pizza, and Buck is pretty sure that Tommy never bothered to learn either of those things to begin with.
It had always been swirling in the back of Buck's mind just how much he loves Eddie, but the breakup with Tommy had given him all the clarity he needed.
There's only one person who owns Buck's entire heart, and it's the man currently staring up at him with wide, trusting eyes.
"Do you want to be the pot or the kettle?" Eddie teases, which means he's in a decent mood at least. The healing process isn't linear, but Buck is fully prepared to support Eddie through all of his emotions.
"Excuse you," Buck huffs as he playfully shoves Eddie over and sits down so they're facing each other. "I'm not the one who's still in bed."
Eddie just shrugs and rests his head on Buck's thigh. "You could be. There's plenty of room, and we could watch something on my laptop."
Buck ignores the way his heart races as he reaches down to run his fingers through Eddie's hair. It's a bit longer than usual, but Buck loves how soft and fluffy it is.
"Or," Buck slides his hand down to Eddie's shoulder and kneads it gently, "we could go to the beach today. The weather is beautiful."
"Nah," Eddie shakes his head and looks up at Buck, "maybe some other time, though."
"Okay, I'll leave you to it then," Buck relents, because the last thing he wants is for Eddie to feel pressured. He pats Eddie's arm as he stands and says, "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
"Wait," Eddie pleads as he grabs Buck's hand. "Will you stay with me?"
Buck isn't sure what prompts his action, but he brings their joined hands up to his lips and presses them against Eddie's knuckles. "Of course."
Eddie blushes at that and says, "Thank you, I always feel better when you're around."
Before Buck can respond, Eddie drops his hand and dips his fingers underneath the hem of Buck's hoodie. They're warm against his skin, grazing lightly across Buck's stomach.
Now it's Buck's turn to blush as he grips Eddie's wrists and carefully tugs his hands away. It's not uncommon for them to be so tactile with each other (especially lately, Buck has noticed), but Eddie has never touched him quite like that before.
It probably doesn't mean anything, but the moment still feels a lot more intimate than usual.
"Do you want me to lay here with you?" Buck asks while curling his fingers around Eddie's and squeezing them.
"Please," Eddie insists as he shuffles around to make room for Buck.
Once Buck gets settled, Eddie hesitates for a moment, but then moves towards him.
"Hi," he says, as the tip of his nose brushes against Buck's.
"Hi," Buck echoes as he pulls back slightly. They're way too close now, so he has to create some distance before he does something completely reckless.
"What are you thinking about?" Eddie asks as he reaches out and traces Buck's birthmark.
"You," Buck admits, cheeks flushing hotly. He's not sure what's happening right now, but something has definitely shifted between them.
"What about me?" Eddie drawls while lifting his hand to caress Buck's face. The pads of his fingers move so carefully against Buck's skin, like a whisper.
Buck leans into his touch and says, "I'm really proud of how you're handling things with Chris. I know it hasn't been easy, but I think the time apart will be good for you both. Sometimes we just need to clear our heads, you know?"
"Thank you," Eddie murmurs as he sweeps his thumb against Buck's cheek. "I know you're right, but it still hurts. I just miss him, and I hate how much I fucked everything up."
"Eddie," Buck frowns. "You're human and you made a mistake. You weren't intentionally trying to hurt anyone, and that's what matters the most."
"I know," Eddie concedes. "I really shouldn't have gone back, but I had to see Kim again. Even just for a minute, just to make sure I wasn't seeing things."
He drops his hand then, but Buck quickly reaches for it.
"I get it," Buck says, lacing their fingers together.
"I know you do," Eddie smiles sadly. "I just wish I knew how to explain it to Chris. Or to myself, really. I know it sounds crazy, but it almost felt like - "
"Divine intervention?" Buck guesses, which earns him a genuine smile from Eddie this time.
"Exactly," Eddie nods. "I know it sounds completely fucking insane, but it felt like a lot more than just a random coincidence. I mean, what were the odds?"
"I wish I had the answers," Buck says as he tightens his hold on Eddie's hand, "but what I know for sure is that Chris is a resilient kid, and he just needs a little time, that's all."
"I hope you're right," Eddie sighs.
"You're not doubting my wisdom, are you?" Buck teases as he invades Eddie's space and pulls him into a hug. His angle is a bit off, but Eddie easily fits into his arms and tucks his face against Buck's neck.
"Never," Eddie mumbles against Buck's skin.
They stay like that for a few moments, just comfortably wrapped up in each other, when Eddie breaks the silence.
"Hey, Buck?" he asks, lifting his head to make eye contact. "I've been meaning to ask you about something, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I know it's none of my business, but - "
Buck moves back slightly and props himself up with one elbow. "You know you can ask me anything," he says, as he rests his other hand on the curve of Eddie's waist.
"Okay," Eddie says while reaching out to trace the lines of script tattooed on Buck's arm.
"What really happened between you and Tommy?"
Buck freezes at that, but Eddie continues. "I know you already told me about it, but I got the feeling that there was more to the story."
"There was," Buck admits, "but you've got a lot on your mind right now, so this probably isn't the best time to discuss it." Part of him wants Eddie to know, but he also doesn't want to make things awkward if his feelings aren't reciprocated.
Eddie has never expressed any interest in men before, but neither had Buck until Tommy kissed him. So it's at least somewhat plausible that Eddie might not be entirely straight either.
Eddie rubs Buck's arm and says, "You know I would never pressure you, but there's nothing you can't tell me, Buck. I just want to be here for you, the way you've always been for me."
If Buck wasn't already hopelessly in love, that might have made him fall even harder. Eddie has always been so patient and understanding with him, and that's what gives Buck the courage he needs to finally get this out.
Maybe it's not the right time, but Eddie is looking at him so earnestly, with such kindness and concern, that suddenly Buck wants him to know everything.
"It was the tacos," Buck blurts out because that seems like the easiest place to start.
"Tacos?" Eddie repeats. "Like the ones you brought over the night you broke up?"
Buck sits up then, wincing slightly as he looks down at Eddie. "I swear it's not as dumb as it sounds. You already know what a dickhead he was being in general, but the tacos were kind of my breaking point."
"It doesn't sound dumb so far," Eddie assures him. "Do you want to move to the living room, and you can tell me all about it? I'll even let you feed and water me," he teases.
"Come on, my pretty little houseplant," Buck laughs as he climbs out of the bed and offers Eddie a hand.
The tips of Eddie's ears redden at the nickname, but he links their arms together as Buck hauls him up. "Beers and pizza?" he suggests.
Buck gives him a hopeful smile and says, "That sounds perfect."
*
Two beers and several slices of pizza later, Buck has caught Eddie up on most of the details he left out the first time around, but he's just not sure how much more he should admit.
"What a fucking asshole," Eddie hisses while staring at Buck in utter disbelief.
"At least you weren't the one who dated him," Buck snorts. "What the hell was I thinking?"
Eddie lays a warm hand on Buck's knee and says, "You just got caught up in the moment, that's all. Sometimes it's easy to miss the red flags when we're blinded by attraction."
Buck finishes off his beer and shakes his head. "No, I was a fucking idiot. Tommy was a walking red flag, and I still didn't notice."
"Hey," Eddie reaches over and tilts Buck's face up. "You're not an idiot, and don't you dare blame yourself for his inexcusable behavior. I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner, but I hated his attitude at the bachelor party. I knew you were already stressed out, though, so I didn't want to make things worse."
"Yeah," Buck nods, "I wasn't thrilled about that either, but I knew it might be hard for him to hide certain things from people. So I ended up feeling bad about the whole thing, if you can imagine. God, I'm so - "
"Watch it," Eddie playfully warns. "You didn't do anything wrong, Buck. He was the one who was being incredibly dismissive, so that was entirely his fault. You were just trying to see the good in him, like you do with everyone," he adds softly.
"I guess," Buck shrugs. "I know he was on call, so I get why he didn't want to dress up, but I was really hoping he would. It didn't need to be elaborate; I would have appreciated it regardless."
"And that's a perfectly reasonable expectation," Eddie observes. "I know you weren't together very long, but a good partner would have at least made an effort to support you."
"You mean, like coming up with the perfect costume idea, and fully committing to the theme?" Buck asks, which earns him the most beautiful blush from Eddie as he realizes the implications of Buck's words.
"Something like that," Eddie says while shifting his attention to a loose thread on his sweatpants. He picks at it for a moment until Buck reaches out to squeeze his hand.
"I never did thank you for that, by the way," Buck remarks. "And I'm sorry that I snapped at you for being late. I meant to apologize sooner, but that night is still a little hazy," he laughs.
"Oh God," Eddie shudders. "That was definitely not my finest moment."
"Mine either," Buck agrees, "but at least we had fun. We always have fun together, which is what got me thinking about you that night at Tommy's. After the taco disaster," he clarifies. "I knew you would have appreciated the gesture, and you would have been happy to see me. Not bitching about the fact that I didn't call first."
"I'm always happy to see you, Buck. Why do you think I gave you a key? You belong here," Eddie says, while nudging Buck's thigh.
The 'with me' goes unspoken, but Buck hears it anyway.
"Thank you," Buck whispers as he lifts Eddie's chin and kisses his cheek.
"You're welcome," Eddie replies as he ducks his head and blushes again. "What for, though?"
"Honestly?" Buck says as he shoves away all of his remaining doubt and slides right onto Eddie's lap. "For everything. For being my best friend, for always believing in me, and for never giving up on me, even when I make stupid mistakes."
Eddie rests his hands on Buck's hips and rubs them gently. "Well, I know a thing or two about stupid mistakes, and I'm glad you haven't given up on me either. You could have, and I wouldn't have blamed you, but - "
Buck shakes his head and says, "You've got my back, and I've got yours, remember?"
"Always," Eddie smiles.
Buck takes a steadying breath before he continues.
"Even if I wasn't in love with you, Tommy and I were never going to work, regardless. It just took me a little longer to figure that out. And in the process," Buck continues, wrapping his arms around Eddie's neck, "I realized that the perfect partner has literally been right by my side all along. I think I've always known that, but I just didn't allow myself to accept it because I was afraid you might not feel the same way. But you do, right?" Buck leans forward and presses his forehead against Eddie's. "I'm not imagining it, am I?"
"No, you're not," Eddie murmurs. "I've known it for a while now, but then you started dating Tommy, so I thought I lost my chance, and - "
The rest of his sentence gets cut off by Buck's lips as he cups Eddie's face and kisses him deeply. There's nothing tentative about it, but it's everything that he always hoped their first kiss would be.
Eddie whimpers in surprise, but he easily opens up for Buck and drags him forward. He pauses between kisses to slide his hands under Buck's hoodie, branding him with his frenetic touch.
Buck has always enjoyed kissing, even when it didn't lead to anything further. It's always been fun, although he never quite understood the fireworks comparison that people sometimes made.
He gets it now, though. He can feel the sparks shimmering behind his eyelids as Eddie kisses him harder. The hands that were previously wandering under his hoodie have now moved up to his face instead.
They're softer than Buck expected, fingers gently grazing his jaw as Buck slides his hands up into Eddie's hair. He gives it an experimental tug, and he's rewarded by the sweet sound of his name spilling from Eddie's lips.
"Buck," Eddie whines as he pulls back and attempts to catch his breath. "Jesus Christ, I'm not dreaming, am I?"
Buck shakes his head and kisses Eddie's forehead. "I promise this is real."
"Oh, thank God," Eddie exhales, visibly relieved.
"Do you dream about me often?" Buck teases while tilting Eddie's chin up for another kiss. It's just a gentle press of their lips this time, but equally amazing.
"Sometimes," Eddie blushes, "and it's always disappointing when I wake up and remember that you're not mine."
Buck rubs Eddie's cheek and says, "I think I've always been yours, Eddie."
Eddie just stares at him, which means Buck is already screwing this up.
Dial it back, Buckley, he mentally scolds himself. He knows he's not the best at expressing his feelings, but he really doesn't want to scare Eddie off before they've even gotten together officially.
"Sorry, I know that's kind of cheesy," Buck rushes to add, but Eddie quickly cuts him off with a kiss.
"No, I think you're right," Eddie agrees. "I don't know how to explain it, but I've always felt like we belonged to each other. Whenever you were dating someone, I was completely miserable, even if I couldn't pinpoint why. Now I realize that I was jealous, because I didn't want them to have what's mine."
Buck laughs at that and says, "I just thought you really hated Taylor."
"Oh, I did," Eddie confirms. "I hated her so much that I'm actually shocked that I wasn't able to make her explode with my mind."
"Oh my God," Buck sputters. "I know she wasn't the best girlfriend, but did you guys have some kind of argument that I'm not aware of?"
"No," Eddie shakes his head, "but I think she knew how I felt about you, so it was like this unspoken rivalry between us."
Buck slides his arms around Eddie's neck and says, "Oh, and how do you feel about me?"
"Buck," Eddie starts, "I've been in love with you since the tsunami. Do you remember that night after it was all over, and we came home together?"
"I remember," Buck nods, because that whole ordeal had been one of the worst experiences of his entire life. In some ways, it was even worse than watching Eddie get shot or buried under forty feet of mud.
He lost Christopher, Eddie's heart and soul, and he was sure that the unthinkable had happened. He couldn't even bring himself to say the words to Eddie, but then suddenly they were blessed with a miracle.
Chris was alive and had only suffered some minor scratches, thankfully.
Buck was sure that neither of them would ever want to speak to him again after that, but then Chris insisted that Buck come home with them. After they all got cleaned up, Eddie made them a quick dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches, and then they all piled into Eddie's bed to eat together.
Buck tried to move back to the couch when it was time to go to sleep, but he was met with twin Diaz glares.
"You're sleeping with us," Eddie had announced as he stood up and dragged Buck back into bed. He shifted towards the middle and made a space for Chris and Buck to curl up on either side of him.
"Where you belong," Chris had added, smiling at Buck over Eddie's chest where both of their heads were resting.
"I fell asleep listening to your heartbeat," Buck says as he leans forward and brushes his lips against Eddie's.
"And I fell in love with you," Eddie counters with a fond smile. "Well," he amends, "I should say that's when I realized it, because I'm sure I fell way before that."
Buck gasps softly and says, "For me, it was when we took Chris to see Santa. I never mentioned this part, but after that elf brought him back to us, she told me that we have an adorable son. I know I should have corrected her, but I guess I got kind of lost in the idea of us being an actual family."
"We are," Eddie tells him. "Jesus, Buck, I know we never really talked about it after, but you put your own life in danger to save Chris during the tsunami, and he could have… you could have…" Eddie trails off as he recalls the events.
"But we didn't, baby," Buck says as he cups Eddie's face and kisses him. "It's going to take a lot more than a fucking tsunami to keep this family apart," he concludes while pulling Eddie against his chest and rubbing his back.
Eddie lifts his head and says, "You mean like hurting Marisol because I emotionally cheated on her with a woman who looks exactly like Shannon? And then upsetting Christopher so much that he actually chose to go live with my parents in another state?"
"No," Buck disagrees. "You didn't hurt Marisol intentionally, and Chris is still too young to fully understand how adult relationships work. He also didn't give you a chance to explain yourself, but he will. He still needs time, but he loves you, and he won't be gone forever, I promise."
"I really hope you're right," Eddie says shakily.
"I am," Buck smiles as he kisses the top of Eddie's head.
"Thank you," Eddie whispers as he angles Buck's face for a proper kiss. "I know it's going to be tough, but I'm willing to give him the space he needs right now. He's been ignoring all of my texts, so I think it's best if I - "
He's suddenly interrupted by his phone buzzing on the coffee table as it lights up with a notification from Chris.
"Holy shit," Eddie breathes out as he quickly reaches for it and opens up the thread. There aren't any new messages, but Chris has added a heart reaction to Eddie's most recent text.
"He still hasn't replied," Eddie says, as he turns the phone towards Buck, "but this is the first response of any kind that I've gotten from him since he left."
Buck kisses Eddie's shoulder and says, "Baby steps."
"Yeah," Eddie sniffs as his eyes start welling up. "Do you really think he'll forgive me?"
"I'm sure he already has," Buck says, while taking hold of Eddie's face and rubbing his cheek. "He's a teenager, and a Diaz," he playfully adds," so of course he's going to be a little dramatic about it."
"God, I love you," Eddie murmurs as he leans forward and kisses Buck again.
"I love you too," Buck grins, "and I promise we'll get through this together."
"Do you still want to go to the beach?" Eddie asks as he presses a kiss against Buck's neck, right over his pulse.
"Nah," Buck shakes his head, "I was thinking we could go cuddle in bed and binge some trash TV on your laptop."
"Even better," Eddie says as he gets up and effortlessly lifts Buck along with him.
"Eddie!" Buck yelps as Eddie throws him over his shoulder in a literal fireman's carry. "As much as I love checking out your ass - which I definitely do, by the way - I'm fully capable of walking, you know."
"Yeah," Eddie laughs, while dropping Buck onto the bed, "but this is so much more fun."
"Okay, not gonna lie, that was fucking hot," Buck breathlessly admits.
"Perks of having a firefighter boyfriend," Eddie winks, as he climbs into bed and right into Buck's waiting arms.
~*~
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
- Pink (Just Give Me a Reason)