Archive of Our Own

Saudade - A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant,

or that has been loved and then lost; the love that remains.

Stiles lay in bed, the only light in his room coming from his phone and the partially opened window curtain. He wiped at his face and sighed, trying to fight the feeling at the pit of his stomach that was threatening to rise up and swallow him whole. Last year had been too much and it finally felt like everything was starting to crash down now that he’d had a chance to breathe. He glanced at his phone and the text messages he’d been exchanging with Derek every so often since he left to help find the Desert Wolf. Stiles sniffled and tried to keep the panic from bubbling up. He couldn't do this anymore. With a shaky finger, he punched Derek’s name and pressed the phone to his ear, praying that Derek would pick up.

Only two rings passed before Derek’s voice came through the speaker. “Stiles? What’s going on?”

Stiles took a deep breath, letting Derek’s voice offer some hope of relief. “Come get me,” he whispered over the line. He wasn't even sure if Derek would come, but Stiles didn't have anyone else to turn to. He just needed to leave. To be anywhere other than Beacon Hills.

“What are you talking about? What happened?” Derek’s voice was laced with concern.

“I just need to leave. I need to get out of here. Please, come get me. I don't care where you take me, just take me away from here.”

“Stiles, you need to slow down,” Derek said. “You’re telling me you want to run away?”

Stiles sighed and ran a hand over his face, trying not to break down. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I didn't know who else to call. I’m sorry… I just – I’ll let you go.”

“No, Stiles, don’t hang up,” Derek said quickly. “I’m two states over. I can be there tomorrow. Are you in immediate danger or can you wait for me to get there?”

“I can wait,” Stiles said, letting out a shaky breath. “I just need to get out. You can just drop me off somewhere if you don't want me to tag along. I’d go myself, but my Jeep isn't working right now.”

“Just… hold on. I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay. I’ll be ready. See you tomorrow.” Stiles listened to the sound of Derek’s breathing as he laid there, a knot forming in his throat before he disconnected the phone. He tossed it aside and got up to pack his bag.

***

The sun was high overhead as Derek passed the sign welcoming him to Beacon Hills. He’d had a steady squirm of anxiety in his stomach since Stiles had gotten off the phone with him last night. Even over the phone he could hear the pain in Stiles’ voice, which was unusual. Not sure who to ask, he’d texted Chris Argent as to whether anything was wrong in Beacon Hills. Argent had sent back a slightly confused response that things had been quiet for once. Feeling confused himself, Derek packed up the dive hotel room he’d been staying in and left money on the bed before driving through the night.

Derek pulled up to the curb and parked, killing the engine. Keeping his senses alert, he made his way to the front door and knocked.

The door opened a few seconds later and Stiles stood there, staring at Derek. “You came.”

Derek shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You sounded like you needed me, so yeah.” Casting his eyes over Stiles, there weren’t many noticeable differences from the last time they’d seen each other. What was new were the lines at the corners of Stiles’ mouth and the dark circles under his eyes. It looked a little too similar to the way he’d looked during the Nogitsune incident. But Stiles still smelled like himself, just… sad. Tired.

Stiles stood there with a stunned look then licked his lips. “Thanks… for coming.” He grabbed his bag beside the door and stepped out onto the porch, closing the front door behind him. Stiles glanced over Derek’s shoulder then back to Derek. “You’re alone?”

“Yeah,” Derek said, drawing the word out. “For awhile now.” He gestured to the bag. “You weren’t kidding. You really want to just walk out of here, right now?” Derek wondered what pushed Stiles to this. It seemed like everything had settled down and he wasn’t sure why Stiles had this sudden wanderlust… or desire for escape?

Stiles’ knuckles went white as he gripped the handles of his bag and he suddenly looked sick, like he might throw up. “Can you just drop me off somewhere? You don't have to take me with you if you don't want to. I just… need to leave.”

Derek shook his head. “I’m not leaving you anywhere. If you’re serious about this, you need someone to watch after you.” He shuffled from foot to foot, still feeling awkward. “What are you telling your dad?”

“I didn't tell him anything. I just left a note telling him that I was fine and not to look for me.” Stiles rubbed the back of his neck. He looked as if he might shake right out of skin. “Can we go?”

“Jesus, Stiles.” Derek scrubbed a hand over his face, then reached out and put it on Stiles’ shoulder. “It’ll be alright. We’ll go.” Stiles was really starting to worry him now… Especially since he was wiling to leave his father without telling him. Something had to be very wrong and Derek resolved to find out what it was. He beckoned Stiles to follow him to the car, opening the back door for Stiles to throw his bag in.

Stiles tossed his bag into the back and let himself into the passenger side. He didn't say anything when Derek climbed into the car with him. Stiles rested his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

Derek furrowed his brow as he watched Stiles sit there motionless. Stiles’ face immediately looked more relaxed however and Derek couldn’t do anything but start the car and head out of town. What was he getting himself into?

***

Stiles opened the door to the hotel room, looking around the small space. It was decent and there were two queen beds. Stiles took the bed furthest away from the door and tossed his bag down on top of it. He sighed and sat down, placing his face in his hands. His head ached less with the distance from Beacon Hills and he didn't feel like vibrating out of his skin.

When he heard Derek shuffle, he turned his face to look up at him. “I'm sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Derek said simply. “Unless your father sends out an APB on me for kidnapping his son.” The corner of Derek’s lips twitched upwards a bit.

Stiles managed a small smile and snorted. “Well he doesn't know you came to get me, so.”

“That’s something, I guess,” Derek said. He toed off his shoes at the door and flopped onto the other bed, heaving out a sigh. “I want you to know, I understand the urge to run. To just leave everything that hurt you behind.” He looked at Stiles seriously. “I’ll be here, when you’re ready to tell me why you needed to do this.”

Stiles nodded, watching Derek quietly. He wasn't sure he could tell Derek; not yet at least. There was so much inside of him that he couldn't even process it yet. Stiles knew he was running from himself as much as he was running from Beacon Hills, but right now, here with Derek, he felt somewhat safer. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Derek took off his jacket and tossed it at the chair under the window, then dropped himself flat on his back. “So. Did you have a destination in mind, or were you just thinking along the lines of getting the hell out of Dodge?”

Stiles threw himself back onto the bed and grabbed the pillow, pushing it under his head. He tried to think of anywhere he wanted to go, but there wasn't a single place that he could think of. Everything he had was in Beacon Hills and Stiles knew he couldn't go back there. At least not right now. “I just needed to get out. I didn't really have anywhere in mind… What were you doing before I called you?”

“Umm. Actually… I was in Yellowstone.” Derek sounded a bit embarrassed by this admission.

“You mean, the park?” Stiles asked and turned his head to look at Derek, a tiny smile threatening to cross his lips. “I’ve never been there.”

“Laura took me there, on our way to New York… after.” Derek’s voice was soft. “I decided to stop hiding from my memories of my family, try to remember the way things felt when we were together.”

“I try to do things like that when I think about my mom,” Stiles said, turning on his side to face Derek and pushed the pillow under his head again. “I’m sorry that I took you away from that.”

“It's okay.” Derek said. After a pause, he went on. “I still consider you pack. All of you. I'll always come to help.”

Stiles felt warmth start to fill him instead of the dread that had plagued him earlier. He couldn't explain it, but every time he thought of Derek considering him as pack it left him with the same feeling. A feeling of safety and home. Stiles wasn't sure if anyone else felt that way, but he knew it had always been that way for him. “I’m glad you came.”

“It’s good to see you again Stiles,” Derek said quietly. “Even if the circumstances aren’t ideal.”

“Yeah…” Stiles breathed deeply and studied Derek’s face. He couldn't help but ask, “What happened to Braeden?”

Derek’s eyebrows drew down a bit. “Work,” he said flatly. “She got a job that she couldn’t refuse. And having a werewolf with her was a liability, so.” Derek sighed a bit. “She has her own life and honestly, I’m not sure how well I ever fit into it.”

“Oh…” Stiles wasn't really sure how he was supposed to respond or what that even meant. He chewed on his lip and tucked his hand against his chest. “Is she coming back? I mean, when she’s done?”

Derek shrugged his shoulder. “I don’t know. Probably not if she gets more jobs.”

“Okay… I guess I’m just trying to figure out how long I have before I need to be gone. I’m not exactly a third wheel fan.”

Derek snorted a bit. “I’m sure after Scott and Alli…” Derek’s face crumpled a bit and he trailed off. “Anyway… pack is the most important thing, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Well… she’s your girlfriend and I mean, isn’t that kinda pack? Malia - I mean, Kira’s pack too now, you know. I figured it all kinda runs together.” Stiles sighed and turned his face into his pillow, fighting off the ache in his chest that suddenly swelled.

Derek studied Stiles’ face silently for a moment. “I never really considered Braeden my girlfriend. We had fun together, but I think we just wanted different things out of life.” He propped his head up on his hand, brow still furrowed. “And in my family it took a little more than a casual relationship to be considered pack, especially with humans.”

Stiles looked back at Derek, sure that his face was mirroring the look on Derek’s as he rubbed his own chest. Stiles wasn't sure what was urging him on, but he couldn't help as the words, “Malia left,” tumbled out of his mouth.

“...Is that why you needed to leave?” Derek asked.

Stiles shook his head. “No. I mean, I don't think that it helped feeling like I had no one, but it’s not the reason I left. She… uh, she went to find her mom. It’s just something that she has to do.” Stiles shrugged one shoulder at that and sighed. “She didn't say if she was coming back or not. She just left.”

“I’m sorry,” Derek said. “I know how it feels to be alone.”

“Yeah,” Stiles said quietly, eyes still lingering on Derek. He kicked his shoes off then and shifted so he could pull the covers over himself. “How long are we staying here?”

“I only paid for the one night,” Derek replied. “We can figure out where you’d like to go next in the morning, if that’s alright?”

“That’s fine.” After a few moments, Stiles reached out to turn the lamp off on the nightstand. “Goodnight…”

“Sleep well, Stiles,” came Derek’s voice in the darkness.

Stiles stared into the darkness where he knew Derek was sleeping until his eyes felt heavy and he drifted off into a restless sleep.

***

Derek was in the middle of a fairly pleasant dream for once, when the sound of a blood-curdling scream had him rocketing out of the cheap hotel bed and landing beta-shifted on the floor in a matter of seconds.

Stiles was flailing on his bed, tangled in the covers and screaming to the ceiling. His eyes were open, but absolutely blank to what they were seeing. Hurrying to his side, Derek grabbed a hold of Stiles’ wrists. “Stiles, Stiles!” he yelled.

Stiles didn't stop screaming or struggling against Derek’s restraining grip. He fought against Derek, even as his eyes started to slowly clear. “Derek?” Stiles sobbed out, looking terrified and confused.

“You’re safe, Stiles, you’re safe,” Derek kept repeating. Stiles’ heart rate was rabbiting, his body soaked with sweat. Derek kept his arms tight around Stiles, shushing him and waiting for him to gain a measure of control.

Stiles turned into Derek’s chest and started sobbing, gripping at Derek’s shirt as if he could find safety in him. Stiles didn't say anything as Derek’s arms tightened around him and he cried.

Derek was stunned. He had never seen Stiles like this. He’d heard stories about the way Stiles had been during the Nogitsune, but he’d thought that was all in the past. Feeling helpless, he rubbed Stiles’ back and murmured to him as he cried, his own heart breaking. It took several minutes for Stiles to calm down into hiccups instead of full out sobs. He didn't move out of Derek’s arms and kept his face buried against Derek’s chest as they sat there. Eventually Stiles mumbled a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Derek said. He could feel that the front of his shirt was wet from Stiles’ tears. “Although I hope no one calls the police for this. It sounded like you were being murdered.”

Stiles sighed and drew away, wiping at his face. “I guess if they do I’ll talk to them.”

“Don’t worry,” Derek said, the awkwardness of the situation finally hitting him. He kept one of his hands on Stiles’ back, still rubbing in small circles. “I can figure something out. And if we have to take off, that’s what we’ll do.” He cleared his throat a bit. “So, how often has this been happening?”

Stiles sniffled and glanced at Derek, as if he were unsure what to exactly say. He seemed to relax the longer Derek rubbed his back, like the contact was giving him comfort. “It never stopped…”

“But… it’s been a year.” The implications washed over Derek, leaving him horrified. Stiles had been struggling with this for that long, without getting help?

Stiles shook his head. “It’s been happening ever since the ritual we did with the Nemeton. It’s just been progressively getting worse.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Then… you know, everything happened. There just hasn’t been time.”

“Time to what? Take care of yourself?” Derek thought he might have issues with self-flagellation, but apparently he had a contender for the crown.

“There’s always something happening in Beacon Hills,” Stiles said, finally looking up at Derek again. “I haven't really even had time to breathe until recently…”

“And then everything just crashed down on you.” Derek was familiar with that feeling. There was a time once when he’d actually hoped for more shitstorms. Anything to keep him from sitting alone and being choked by his guilt.

Stiles just looked down at his hands and licked his lips as he touched each of his fingers. “Yeah,” he finally said softly. “I just needed to get out.”

“I can understand that,” Derek murmured. “I would feel better about this if you talked to your father though. Did you bring your phone with you?”

Stiles looked uneasy as he shifted away from Derek then. “No. I wiped it and left it. I didn't really want him finding me. He'd track it.” At the look on Derek's face, Stiles added, “I was going to email him. At a public library or something.”

“Okay,” Derek said after a pause. He still wasn't sure if the sheriff would send out a missing person report, but it was something. “So… will you be able to go back to sleep?”

“Maybe,” Stiles said and stretched his neck. “I usually fall back asleep because I'm exhausted, but most of the time I wake up again.”

Derek nodded. “Do you want to try to sleep? Or did you want to just hit the road?” Derek could feel that the sweat on Stiles’ body had started to cool, leaving his hair plastered to his forehead. The dark circles under Stiles’ eyes were even more prominent and his face was swollen from crying.

Stiles rested his head in his hands for a few moments. “We should probably go… If my dad put out an APB it will include surrounding cities. The further away we are the better.”

Derek gave Stiles’ shoulder a squeeze. “Okay, then. Let’s pack up.” He got off Stiles’ bed and sat down in the chair by the window to pull on his boots. “Do you have a preference for where we go?”

“Maybe we can go to Yellowstone?” Stiles asked, glancing at Derek and pushing his feet into his shoes.

Derek smiled a bit to himself. “I didn’t get to see much of it before you called me. So I think that’s a great idea. Exploring it together.” He finished tying his shoes and looked up. Stiles was still propped on his bed. “Hey,” Derek called softly. “Things will get better. They will.”

Stiles didn't look so sure as he stood up and grabbed his bag then headed over to stand next to Derek. “I’ll believe it when it happens.”

Not liking the hopeless tone in Stiles’ voice, but helpless to change it for the moment, Derek nodded and stood, throwing his own bag over his shoulder. “Onward to Yellowstone, then.” He opened the door and followed Stiles, leaving the dingy hotel room behind.

*** 

Stiles breathed deeply and stretched, then turned to look towards the driver’s side when he felt eyes on him. “Hey,” he said quietly. “How long was I out?” Stiles felt like he’d slept for a year as he rested his head back against the headrest. It felt like finally some of the exhaustion he’d been feeling for so long had started to ease.

“About four hours,” Derek replied. The sunlight was just setting over the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant display of reds and oranges. “We should get to the park in less than an hour.”

Stiles rolled his shoulders and looked out the window. “Wow… never seen a sunset like that before.” It was something brilliant and pure and something he didn't quite feel he deserved to see.

“Even in Beacon Hills, there’s pollution. Out here, you can really see the sky for what it’s supposed to be.” Derek was hushed himself, just taking in the view.

Stiles stared out over the horizon at the burst of colors painted across the sky, eyes glancing every so often in Derek’s direction. He didn't really say much for the rest of the drive to Yellowstone, the silence comfortable around them. There was a comfort and warmth inside of Stiles that he couldn't quite place, but he took solace in it all the same.

Derek parked the car near the campsite he reserved before he’d come to get Stiles. He’d told Stiles he’d reserved it for several days with the intention of spending some time outdoors. Together they pulled the tent Derek had, along with a large duffel bag and started the hike to the site.

Stiles tossed his bag down on the ground and looked around the campsite. “It’s getting pretty dark, pretty fast,” he said as he went to help Derek with the tent. “Do you know how to make a fire or did you bring a lighter?”

Derek pulled a trigger operated lighter from his bag and twirled it around his finger. “Voila,” he said, smirking. “I should have a few fire starters too.”

Stiles couldn't help the snort-laugh that escaped him and the small smile tugging at his lips. His eyes drifted over Derek in the dim light of the moon and Stiles remembered this Derek from that summer they spent together. There was a sudden, dull ache in his chest at the memory. “You are such a dork. Give me that,” he said, reaching out for the lighter.

Derek laughed and passed the lighter over. “You know, you’re the only one I think that’s ever called me a dork. At least since I was a teenager.”

“Probably because I'm the only one that's seen your dorky self,” Stiles said as he walked around and gathered stray branches, piling them into the man made fire pit. He glanced at Derek every so often, the smile tugging at the corner of his lips growing slightly. Stiles piled more wood into the man made fire pit and gathered some leaves for tinder. He hadn't started many fires in his life, but he knew the general idea of starting one. Stiles clicked the lighter a few times until the flame ignited and lit some of the leaves to get it going. “You need some help with the tent?”

“Nah, it’s pretty simple.” Derek had the tent erected in a few short minutes, then tossed the sleeping bags inside. The fire had turned into a steady blaze as Stiles fed it with small branches. “You hungry, Stiles?”

“I could eat,” Stiles said and shrugged. “What do you have?”

Derek rummaged in his pack for a moment and withdrew a plastic bag. “Just the finest wieners money could buy,” he said, holding up a package of hot dogs.

Stiles looked up at Derek with his brows raised, feeling his cheeks flush. He smiled and cleared his throat, chuckling. He hoped that Derek didn't get a whiff of whatever hormones were wafting off of him from a comment Stiles was taking wildly out of context. “You want me to get some sticks for them, then?”

Derek looked pleased at Stiles’ amusement, answering with a chuckle of his own. “Sticks’ll work,” he said, pulling out a package of buns and small bottles of condiments. “I grabbed a couple of sodas too.”

“When did you have time to get all of this and where was I?” Stiles asked, grabbing some sticks that were thick enough to cook the hot dogs over the fire. He handed them to Derek so Derek could strip them and grabbed the package of hot dogs.

“Umm.” Derek looked a bit shifty. “I may have left you sleeping in a grocery store parking lot...”

“You left me sleeping… in a grocery store parking lot?” Stiles knew he did not look amused as he took his stick back and speared a hot dog on it. “Unbelievable.”

Derek sighed a bit. “We needed food and to be honest, I didn't have the heart to wake you. You were in a deep, relaxed sleep and you needed it.” Spearing his own hot dog, Derek went on. “If it makes a difference, I listened for your heart beat the whole time. If it even went up a little bit, I would have been hauling ass back to the car.”

Stiles sat on the ground in front of the fire and moved his stick out above it. He was quiet as he watched the flame and sighed, the fight leaving his body. “It’s fine. It’s not like I’m your responsibility. Not like that, anyway.” He wasn't sure why he’d flustered over the thought that Derek had left him alone in the car. It wasn't as if his friends hadn't done the same to him before.

“Maybe not, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable. If it bothers you, next time I'll wake you.” Derek's face was serious in the flickering light of the fire.

Stiles shook his head. “I can only imagine what someone would think if I’d woken up screaming like a crazy person in the car…”

“Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's a way to prevent that from happening eventually.” Derek's tone was troubled. “If it's every night you have these nightmares, that is.”

“I know.” Stiles sighed, turning his stick and cooking the other side of the hot dog. “I’m not sure they’ll ever stop, but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.” Stiles removed his stick from over the fire. “Hand me a bun?”

“Nothing lasts forever,” Derek said, handing a bun over. “You'll get through this, Stiles. I know it.” He assembled his own hot dog and took a large bite.

Stiles put ketchup on his hot dog and took a bite himself. He was quiet as he ate, glancing up at Derek every few moments. “And what if I don't?”

Derek swallowed his mouthful and paused, watching Stiles with what seemed like pain in his eyes. “You will. What you went through… it changed you. But you're strong and you will rise above this."

Stiles stopped eating and sat there, staring down at his hot dog and the ketchup on it. It suddenly made his stomach roll. He ran a hand over his face then said quietly, “I killed people, Derek.”

“So did I,” Derek pointed out. “It wasn't your fault.” He spoke this with a kind of breathless conviction.

“It is, though. I let it take control of me. Some part of me let it in.”

“You mean the same way I let her in?” Derek asked. “It’s taken me a long time to admit it, but she was the one at fault for my family’s death. The same way the Nogitsune is at fault for what happened to you.”

Stiles was quiet as he stared down at his hot dog and then glanced up at Derek. He couldn't remember how many times he had told Derek that Kate was at fault and not him, how many times Derek had pushed him away after that. And hearing Derek say that now had Stiles looking at Derek as if he were seeing a new part of him for the first time. “It might take me forever to get there.”

Derek shrugged. “I’ve got time.” He gave Stiles a small smile, his eyes crinkled at the corners.

Stiles couldn't help but feel slightly relieved when Derek smiled. One thing he’d been afraid of was people pushing him away after the Nogitsune, yet Derek was here and he wasn't pushing him away. He returned Derek's smile and continued to eat. “I think I want another hot dog.”

“So your appetite is still bigger than the average werewolf’s, huh?” Derek huffed in amusement, before passing Stiles the package of hot dogs. “Maybe I should buy a cooler for the back of the Toyota.”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” Stiles said as he took the package and then put another hot dog on his stick. “This is only hot dog number two. I’m sure you have plenty more where this package came from,” he said as he placed it over the fire.

Derek laughed louder. “You know me too well.” The rest of the meal passed in companionable silence, the fire crackling and popping the only noise. Before long complete darkness surrounded them, the sky overhead now an explosion of stars.

Stiles was laying on the ground by the fire, looking up at the stars. “It’s so clear out here,” he said quietly, glancing over at Derek in the dim light.

“The miracle of no light pollution,” Derek murmured, stretched out near Stiles. His hands were threaded behind his head, his eyes glinting in the light of the moon and stars.

“I wish we could see stuff like this more often,” Stiles said, his leg brushing up against Derek’s as he stretched. He didn't pull it away and sighed, relaxing at the closeness and warmth he could feel through their clothes. “I think it’s why I like going out to the preserve so much. It’s a little taste of something like this.”

“There’s a lot more places like this around the country.” Derek turned his head to look at Stiles. “Maybe we should make a list.”

“I’m up for that.” Stiles smiled softly at Derek. “Maybe we can see a lot of them. I don't exactly have a plan of where I’m going, but I’ll go with you. Wherever you want to go. As long as it’s not back to Beacon Hills.”

“As long as you need to, you can stay,” Derek said. “We’ve got almost three months until school starts again.”

Stiles looked back up at the sky and didn't say anything. If he was being honest with himself he hadn't even thought about school starting up again. He wasn't even sure he was going back, even if it was just to finish school. He knew that he wouldn't be able to tag along with Derek forever, but Stiles was eighteen and he didn't have to go back if he didn't want to. He’d figure it out somehow when the time came. For now, he just said, “Okay,” and stared up at the night sky.

***

After supper, Derek and Stiles sat outside for several more hours, not talking much and just taking solace in the presence of each other. When Stiles started to drift off, Derek hustled him into the tent, following him after he’d broken down the fire to embers.

He lay motionless watching the canvas ceiling rippling in the breeze and listening to the measured sound of Stiles’ breathing, his mind too full at the moment for sleep.

Derek was scared and a bit guilty about being complicit in what was essentially a runaway case. Stiles was legally an adult, but Derek knew how close he was with his father and Scott. The Sheriff was probably going crazy with worry. Sighing to himself, Derek turned onto his side and watched Stiles’ face, relaxed with sleep.

This was the longest uninterrupted time they’d spent together since the summer before the Alpha pack and it was rousing feelings that Derek thought he’d securely locked away. His eyes traced over Stiles’ features and he felt the familiar stirrings of attraction, but there was something else there too. Something deeper. He’d never acknowledged it and had tamped it down. Then things all went to hell when Deucalion and the others had swept in, leaving no room for any other concerns. With one shitstorm after the next, Derek had almost forgotten how close he and Stiles had gotten.

Stiles’ brow creased in distress, small whimpers falling from his lips and Derek berated himself for even thinking of these things when Stiles was in so much pain. This wasn’t the time or place for it. Without hesitation, Derek reached his hand out and laid it on Stiles’ shoulder. Stiles’ face relaxed a bit, but he was still whimpering and Derek’s heart broke when he saw the glint of a tear rolling down Stiles’ cheek. Damning the consequences, Derek tugged Stiles closer and onto his side, letting himself curl up behind him, breathing into the soft hairs at the nape of Stiles’ neck.

Almost immediately, Stiles’ whimpering faded away, his heartbeat slowed and his body relaxed. Derek kept himself awake for a while longer, but Stiles didn’t wake again and slowly he allowed himself to drift off, Stiles a warm weight against his front.

***

There was the sound of tweeting at the edge of Stiles’ consciousness and the high-pitched sounds slowly drew him from sleep. It was quiet and chilly, the breeze causing the tent to flap as Stiles laid there. Despite the chill, he realized that he was quite warm and he instinctively snuggled back against it. Stiles drew in a deep breath, a familiar scent clinging at the edges of his consciousness. Stiles blinked awake and opened his eyes, looking down to see arms wrapped around him. And they weren't the familiar female arms of his ex-girlfriend. They were very strong, very manly arms. And they belonged to Derek. Stiles didn't move or pull away as he tried to remember what exactly happened last night, but beyond Derek ushering him into the tent, he couldn't remember anything specific.

He didn't remember waking up or having a nightmare. He didn't remember Derek snuggling up behind him and falling asleep. Stiles closed his eyes at the feeling of Derek’s warm breath playing at the back of his neck, teasing the hairs at the base there. He sighed, willing his hormones to keep themselves under control. There was no way he could deny that he found Derek attractive. Anyone that had eyeballs found Derek attractive, just like anyone that had eyeballs found Lydia attractive. Stiles shifted slightly, and then he felt it. Derek’s cock was pressing up against his ass and it was all of his wet dreams come to life.

Stiles bit a groan into his fisted hand, his own cock hardening in a rush.

Derek grunted a bit into Stiles’ neck, his hips shifting. Then he abruptly froze, the arm around Stiles’ middle tightening. “Stiles?” Derek whispered. “Are you awake?”

“I’m awake,” Stiles said quietly, but didn't pull away or move. He was sure that Derek wouldn't be able to miss his scent of arousal clinging to the air.

Derek cleared his throat. “You started to have a nightmare last night. When I touched you, you calmed down… I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable.”

Stiles swallowed against the knot in his throat. “It’s okay. I, uh, should probably get up. I need to pee,” he lied then started to pull away so he could escape the situation.

Derek loosened his arms and rolled onto his stomach, grunting into his pillow. “When you’re done, I can get up and start breakfast.”

“Yeah, okay.” Stiles crawled out of the tent and shoved his feet into his shoes. It was chilly out without Derek cuddled around him and he shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. Stiles headed off towards one of the trails, not even sure if there was a restroom near by. With how far they’d had to hike to their spot, he doubted it, but he busied himself with looking for one so his erection would have time to go down. It didn't take that long with the fact that Derek wasn't interested in him looming in his thoughts. Stiles found a tree to go about his perfunctory morning bladder relieving routine and eventually made his way back to the campsite. He didn't say anything as he crawled back into the tent and started digging through his bag to look for a sweater.

Derek reached a hand out and gently circled Stiles’ wrist. “Are you okay?”

Stiles stopped digging in his bag and glanced over at Derek. “Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?” Stiles wasn't sure what else he could say without making things awkward. It wasn't as if he could hide his obvious attraction with Derek’s werewolf senses. He was just thankful enough that Derek wasn't making a big deal out of it and ignoring it all together. At least then Stiles didn't have to be embarrassed over the whole thing. He couldn't go through another Lydia-level rejection in his lifetime.

“You smell… sad.” Derek looked concerned, his brow furrowed under his bed head, hair sticking up in all directions. His voice was rough with sleep, but still gentle.

“I figure that’s been my overall scent for a while now,” Stiles said as he started digging through his bag again and pulled out a hoodie. He drew away from Derek’s touch so he could pull his sweater over his head and sighed, shrugging it on.

“It was just… more.” When Stiles started to crawl out of the tent, Derek called after him. “Stiles, wait. Please. Was it something I did?” Derek’s voice was starting to sound more upset.

Stiles paused and twisted to look at Derek. His brows were still furrowed and raised, a look of worry on his face. Stiles tried to keep his scent from changing, but he wasn't exactly sure how to do that with how rampant his emotions had been lately. He shook his head and fought against the faint swell and tugging at his heart. “No. You didn't do anything,” Stiles assured him as best he could. “It’s just me. Things that I have to deal with and accept...”

Derek watched him silently for a few seconds then nodded. “I want you to feel like you can talk to me, Stiles. I want to help you.”

“I do… it’s just… it’s not about the Nogitsune or you know, murdering people. Which given is by far the worst of my problems right now.” Stiles sighed and ran a hand over his face and through his hair. “It wasn't something you did,” Stiles repeated. He couldn't exactly tell Derek it had to do with his own feelings towards him without making everything ten times more awkward.

“Okay,” Derek said, sighing. He scrubbed a hand over his face too then dug around in his pack, pulling out a razor. “I think I’ll go shave.”

“You’re going to go shave in the wilderness?” Stiles asked, raising his brows and looking back over at Derek as he perched in the tent opening. At the look Derek was giving him, Stiles blurted, “I mean, we’re camping and-your-beard-always-looked-nicer-when-it-was-fuller,” he added, the last part mumbled quickly.

“Really?” Derek said, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “Maybe I’ll leave it for now, then.” Derek held Stiles’ gaze for a long moment, before crawling out of the tent to do his own business against a nearby tree.

Stiles could feel his cheeks heat and knew that they had to be a splotchy red. He buried his face into his hands, giving a grumble at himself. He was the biggest idiot ever. When he heard Derek zip up his pants, Stiles crawled the rest of the way out of the tent and went to look at the fire, piling twigs onto it to get it going again.

“Canned fruit and oatmeal okay with you?” Derek asked after Stiles was finished, brandishing the packet at him.

“Sounds good. I’ll put my fruit in my oatmeal,” Stiles said and sat down next to the fire, tossing more sticks in until it was up to a steady burn again. He tried not to look at Derek, well aware that his skin was still red and blotchy.

“So, would you like to explore the park today? I have the campsite reserved for another night.” Derek sliced open his can with one carefully extended claw then did the same for Stiles’.

“Yeah. Sure. What did you have in mind?” he asked, taking the can when Derek handed it to him. Stiles opened the metal carefully and drank the fruit juice from it without looking over at Derek.

“See the geysers, maybe soak in the hot springs. Do some hiking, maybe kayaking.” Derek drank the juice out of his own can, licking his lips to catch drops at the corners. “Something I wanted to try was checking out some of the paleontological sites in the park. I used to be nuts about dinosaurs when I was a kid.”

Stiles couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at that little bit of information. “I think most kids were, but that’s adorable,” he said as he slurped at more of his fruit juice. “I think that sounds like a great idea. All of it.” He took the packet of oatmeal Derek offered and busied himself with making it.

“I think a hike sounds good first thing. Work off some of what we ate,” Derek said, shoveling a spoonful of his own oatmeal into his mouth.

Stiles dumped his fruit into his oatmeal bowl and mixed it up, eating quietly and stealing glances at Derek. “I didn't exactly bring a bathing suit,” he commented, shoveling more food into his mouth. “You know, for the soaking in the hot springs.”

Derek coughed a bit on his mouthful. “Well… neither did I, exactly.” The tips of Derek’s ears turned red. “Maybe we should just forget that.”

Stiles could feel his cheeks burning again and the heat spread down his neck. “I guess… or, you know, we could just go in with our underwear.” Stiles ate some more oatmeal and looked down into his bowl. “Or nothing.”

Eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline, Derek just looked at Stiles, his mouth hanging open slightly. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with. I know most humans aren’t as casual as shifters about nudity.”

Stiles shrugged, trying to be as casual as he could about the whole thing. “Well… my ex-girlfriend is a werecoyote. There are a lot of things I had to get used to.” Stiles stared into his bowl still, not looking up at Derek as he finished his oatmeal.

Derek said nothing either, the silence heavy as they finished their meal and packed up their things.

Stiles tried his best not to have an internal freak-out at the thought of being naked in front of Derek and at the same time, trying to keep his dick in check so he wouldn't pop an inappropriate boner at the thought of seeing Derek naked. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at himself, doing his best to push it to the back of his mind as they started on their hike.

***

After a long day of physical activity, even Derek's werewolf muscles were aching. He could only imagine what Stiles’ felt like.

He'd only ever been to a hot spring once before, but he remembered clearly how relaxing they could be. It was later in the evening and there weren't many people to be found as he and Stiles made their way to the closest spring to their campsite.

Derek made it over the last ridge and looked down into a pristine pool of gently steaming water. “Here we are,” he panted, letting his pack fall down his arms to the ground, grimacing as his shirt was tugged down his sweat soaked back.

Stiles was panting and whining as he tossed his pack to the ground again. “Remind me never to go hiking with a werewolf again,” he grumbled as he kicked off his shoes, looking down into the water. “Right about now this soak sounds good.”

“We didn't hike the whole day,” Derek pointed out, only to be met with a death glare. He held up his hands and chuckled. “Never mind.”

“Ha. Ha. Make fun of the human.” Stiles started to strip out of his shirt and threw it down onto his pack.

Derek froze for a moment, eyes drawn to Stiles’ now revealed skin. Intellectually, he knew Stiles wasn't a scrawny sixteen year old anymore, but he still hadn't expected this; broad shoulders with trim muscles and was that hair on his chest? Realizing he was staring, Derek hurriedly turned around and stripped off his own shirt. “I won't look when you get in,” he said, unbuttoning his pants.

The sounds of Stiles moving behind Derek paused. “Um, okay,” Stiles said and shuffled again. The sound of cloth hit the ground behind Derek then there was another pause, followed by more cloth. There were sloshing sounds behind Derek. “I’m in…”

Shedding his own clothes, Derek turned and climbed down into the pool, groaning as the wet heat enveloped his body. “Holy shit, that feels amazing.”

Stiles cleared his throat. “Yeah. It’s pretty awesome.” Stiles dipped into the water until it covered his shoulders, eyes trained on Derek, cheeks flushed red.

“Relax, Stiles,” Derek said softly. “This is no different than locker room showers when you think about it.” Stiles just seemed to flush even redder.

“I don't take showers at school,” Stiles said and shrugged a little. “Uh, Malia’s the only one that’s seen me without clothes on. Well… until now, anyway.”

Derek felt the blood rush to his own face at about mach one. “Oh.” For the life of him, he couldn't think of a real response to that and just let himself sink further into the water. By now, the sun has started to disappear beyond the horizon, the sky turning shades of purple and orange.

“Sorry,” Stiles said with a sigh, looking away from Derek as he dipped down to his chin, his hands moving awkwardly to cover himself. “Maybe this was a bad idea…”

“Stiles, it's okay. We're both adults here and you have nothing to be ashamed of.” Derek couldn't help but add, “Believe me.”

Stiles huffed a laugh and shook his head. “I might under different circumstances, but you don't need to reassure me. I’m well aware of how unattractive I am. I’m still surprised that Malia even wanted me, but you know, she grew up in the wild without humans for most of her life, so her perspective is a little different. It’s based strictly on pheromones and she apparently liked mine.” Stiles shifted from his full frontal position, turning his side towards Derek and curling in on himself as he settled more in the water. He closed his eyes as if he was letting the heat wash over him. “Should probably get back before it’s pitch black out. Don't want to fall on my face on our way back to camp.”

“Wait a minute,” Derek said. “You think you’re unattractive?” Derek could feel the consternation on his own face, but he couldn’t help it. What on earth had made Stiles think that way?

“Please don't make fun of me,” Stiles said, giving Derek a warning glare.

“I’m not,” Derek said, flabbergasted. “Why don’t you think you’re attractive?”

“Because I'm not. No one has ever been attracted to me other than Malia and she isn't exactly the poster child for normal.”

Derek found himself grasping for words. There was so much hurt in Stiles’ eyes, he wanted to do something to ease it. “I know that’s not true,” he said.

“No you don't,” Stiles said. “I mean there's like one other person that was going to use me to lose her virginity, but you know, she got sacrificed that one time.”

Derek groaned and buried his face in his hand. “Stiles… can you listen to what I’m telling you for once? I know other people find you attractive, because… I’m one of them.” Derek’s stomach dropped to his feet as he waited for Stiles’ reaction.

Stiles’ mouth was open, stopping before he was going to start his sentence. He turned and looked at Derek, eyes narrowed as if he were trying to figure out if Derek was playing a cruel joke on him. When neither of them said anything, Stiles’ face softened. Finally he asked, “Are you attracted to men or just me? I mean, are you like, bi?”

“I’ve always been attracted to people, rather than their gender. I suppose that makes me pansexual.” Derek stared at Stiles for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything. “You’re not arguing with me anymore.”

“I guess I'm just shocked.” Stiles’ eyes never left Derek as he watched him closely. He took a shuddering breath. “I mean, that you'd be attracted to me… And I trust you, so.” Stiles swallowed. “I've, uh, I've had a crush on you since that summer.”

“Really?” Derek asked, surprised. He’d known Stiles found him attractive, he could smell that on him. But he’d always figured it was superficial. He found himself smiling softly down at his hands, swirling through the water and sending ripples across the spring’s surface.

“Well, I mean, I'm sure it happened before then but that's when I became aware of it,” Stiles confessed. He looked down and away from Derek as he rested back against the spring wall again. “I know finding someone attractive and liking someone are two totally completely different things. So I'm not expecting you to reciprocate or anything. It's okay.”

Frowning, Derek took in Stiles’ hunched over posture, full of so much self-loathing and sadness. He carefully slid along the rocks until he was sitting close enough to Stiles to touch, reaching his hand out to gently nudge Stiles’ chin until he was looking back at Derek. “You’re an incredible person, Stiles.”

Stiles just started into Derek's eyes as if he were confused by his words and proximity. Stiles opened and closed his mouth several times, seeming at loss for words for once. Finally he settled on, “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Derek whispered, his thumb rubbing along the line of Stiles’ jaw, feeling the scrape of just grown stubble. He found his eyes flicking down to Stiles’ lips, plump and parted, before he cleared his throat and let his hand fall.

Stiles’ hand moved to catch Derek's, his eyes licking over Derek's features in question. His fingers cupped and stroked Derek's hand beneath the warm water as Stiles shifted closer still, his lips a breath away from Derek's, eyes searching.

Hearing Stiles’ heart pounding in tandem with his own, Derek let himself drift forward and brush his lips over Stiles’, whisper soft. “Was that okay?” he asked, Stiles’ eyes shiny and unfocused from proximity.

Stiles’ cheeks, neck and chest were flushed a blotchy red. “Yeah,” Stiles breathed, not drawing away. Then, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Derek's again, longer this time. Stiles’ free hand drifted out of the water and onto the back of Derek's neck, drawing him in closer.

Derek let his eyes flutter shut as Stiles kissed him, sparks of sensation zinging through him where those long fingers were dragging through the hair at the base of his neck. He drew Stiles’ lower lip into his mouth and sucked it, before biting down gently, groaning in the back of his throat.

Stiles’ groan echoed Derek's and he opened his mouth, licking across Derek's lips for entrance. Stiles pressed in, almost flush to Derek, guiding Derek's hand to the small of his back, shifting to where his front was facing Derek fully.

Derek’s skin felt feverish where it was pressed against Stiles’ and without thinking, he tugged the him closer to him. Gasping, he pulled back from the kiss and immediately dove for Stiles’ neck, letting himself taste the skin he had often thought about. He drew his tongue down the long line of Stiles’ neck, before latching on, sucking and worrying at the flesh, wanting to leave a mark.

Stiles moaned, fingers carding through Derek's hair as his head tilted to the side in submission. He arched against Derek's body, breath coming in quick pants as he clutched Derek close. “Derek,” Stiles whimpered, the word falling from his lips like a parched man getting his first drink of water.

Just as suddenly as it started, Derek pulled back a fraction, breathing hard. “Shit…” he muttered. “Stiles, we’re in public. And you… I don’t want to take advantage of anything. Take advantage of you. You’re sure this is what you want?”

“I'm sure,” Stiles panted, drawing Derek back in for a kiss. “We don't have to do everything right away. I just - I want to kiss you.” Stiles pressed another kiss to Derek's lips. “Is this what you want?”

“I want you, any way that I can have you,” Derek whispered. He let his arms circle Stiles’ waist and dove back in, kissing him deeply. He felt like he could spend hours kissing Stiles, learning the contours of his mouth and the taste of his lips.

Stiles groaned against Derek's mouth, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck. Stiles pressed Derek back against the spring wall, moving to slide into his lap to straddle him. “Think it'll be okay if we stay out here? It's getting dark fast.”

Wondering vaguely what in the hell he’d gotten himself into, Derek let his hands settle on the curve of Stiles’ hips, feeling the smoothness of his skin under the steaming water. He was well on his way to fully hard and he could feel Stiles pressed up against his abs. Abruptly, Derek felt lightheaded with emotions and he buried his face in Stiles’ neck, just breathing in the scent he’d gotten so used to. For the first time since Derek had picked Stiles up, he didn’t smell sad at all.

Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek and placed gentle kisses on his shoulder. “You okay?” Stiles asked quietly as he held Derek. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” Derek said. “Just feeling a bit… overwhelmed. Two days ago, I’d never expected this.” He rubbed his cheek against Stiles’ neck, rumbling in his chest.

“Me neither,” Stiles said softly. He stroked a hand down the back of Derek's neck and gave him a squeeze. “Come on. Let's get out of here and get back to the camp site.”

“Okay,” Derek murmured, lifting Stiles off of his lap, then grabbing his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. They both climbed out of the spring, grimacing as they put their sweaty clothes back on. “I don’t think we thought this through completely,” Derek said. “What do you say to finding a hotel tomorrow?”

Stiles laughed softly, grabbing his pack once they were dressed. “Needing a shower already?”

“Not a fan of putting dirty clothes on a wet body,” Derek grumped, but he found himself smiling nonetheless. He couldn’t wait to see what the rest of the summer would bring.

*** 

Stiles drummed his fingers on his knees, his feet propped up on the dashboard. He looked out over the rolling landscape as they drove then glanced over at Derek as he lolled his head back on the head rest. “This isn’t going to be weird now, is it?” It had been a couple of days since they'd kissed and they hadn't really been intimate since. Stiles was worried that he'd made a mistake. “I mean… We haven't talked about it and haven't done anything since.”

“I don’t want it to be weird,” Derek said, looking to Stiles. “I don’t regret what happened, not at all.” Derek paused a moment, his hands clenching the steering wheel a bit. “Do you?”

“No, I don't,” Stiles said. “But you haven't touched me… like that, so I guess I thought you might. Or that it was a one time make out thing and you'd changed your mind.”

“No, Stiles. No,” Derek said quickly, reaching his hand out to rest on Stiles’ knee. “I just want to do things right. If we do this.” Tentatively, he laid his hand on top of Stiles’ so their fingers were barely intertwining. “This isn’t some random, casual thing for me.”

Stiles turned his hand over to hold Derek’s back, a nervousness clenching in his chest as he tried to breathe normally. “It’s not random or casual for me, either,” Stiles assured Derek, giving his hand a squeeze. Stiles knew that he’d had feelings for Derek for a while now, but he never dreamed that Derek would reciprocate them. That Derek might have feelings too. Hell, that Derek would even be attracted to him at all. Stiles let out a slow breath, looking back up at Derek. “I want to do this. I’m not sure how to do it right, though. I’ve only had one relationship in my entire life so far.”

“Like my relationships have been much better?” Derek pointed out. “We’re in this together. We’ll figure it out together.”

Stiles couldn't help but snort a small laugh. “Well… I guess you don't have to worry about me being evil. I already got that out of my system and over with. I’m just working on dealing with the aftermath.”

“I guess we’ll just have to work on that together too,” Derek said, linking their fingers together and smiling at Stiles.

Stiles gave Derek a small smile in return and squeezed his hand again. “Yeah…” He couldn't even begin to thank Derek for coming to get him. “I think just… being away from the Nemeton and everything has helped some.”

“That’s good,” Derek said. “Now… we are almost to our destination. I guarantee this will be the most amazing thing you’ll see on this little junket around the country.” He gestured to a large sign on the side of the highway advertising a roadside attraction.

Stiles raised his brows and looked over at the billboard. “Does that say Carhenge?” Stiles looked back over at Derek and at another billboard, before laughing. “What on earth are you taking me to? Is this supposed to be like Stonehenge but for cars?”

“....Maybe.” Derek had a huge grin on his face, his eyes crinkled at the corners. He looked far too pleased with himself.

“I can't wait to see this,” Stiles said with a chuckle and pulled his feet off the dash. He moved to sit up and looked out the window expectantly. He knew that he was getting a little too excited for something so simple, but with how crazy his life had been during the last few years, he could use a little simple right now.

After a few minutes, they exited the highway and pulled into the driveway of the attraction. There were a few cars scattered in the lot, but not many. “Come on,” Derek said, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

Stiles followed Derek out of the car and reached out to take Derek’s hand nervously, lacing their fingers together. “Is this okay?” he asked, tugging at Derek’s hand.

Derek looked down at their hands. “It’s okay,” he said, giving Stiles’ fingers a squeeze. They walked up the path, the enormous structure of precarious cars standing out against the vastness of the landscape.

Stiles looked up as they entered the circle of the cars and stared at them in awe. “Wow. They’re so big,” he said, looking at one and then the next. He chuckled and glanced back at Derek. “If I knew I wouldn't hurt myself I’d totally try to get up there into one.” He moved to stand next to a rather large car that said, “Here lie three bones of foreign cars. They served our purpose while Detroit slept. Now Detroit is awake and America's great!” Stiles chuckled and looked over at Derek. “So it’s a car graveyard huh?”

“I guess so,” Derek laughed. “And please don’t climb it. I’m sure that’s not allowed. I may have the money to bail you out of jail, but I’d prefer not to.” Derek looked up, shading his eyes with his free hand. “Gotta love America.”

“And cars,” Stiles said, reaching out to touch one. “Right about now the Jeep should probably be in a car graveyard.” Stiles sighed. “My mom would be so disappointed that her baby is broken.” Stiles turned and looked around them as they stood in the Carhenge. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome,” Derek said, bringing their linked hands up and laying a kiss across Stiles’ knuckles.

“We should take some pictures.” Stiles grinned at Derek then leaned in to brush his nose against Derek’s before kissing him soft and chaste.

Derek pulled his phone out of his back pocket and waggled it at Stiles. “Does that mean you want to take a selfie?”

“If you’re brave enough to have photo evidence of our new found romance in your phone, sure,” Stiles said with a chuckle, pressing in close to Derek. “Whattya say?”

Derek shook his head and snorted, before he held the phone out. “Say cheese!”

“I’m not saying cheese,” Stiles said with a chuckle and turned his face to kiss Derek on the cheek as the shutter went off. “Muah!”

Derek turned the phone back around and pulled up the picture. His face was scrunched up in amusement, Stiles’ lips puckered. “Well?” he asked.

Stiles looked at the photo and grinned, then laughed. “I think it’s a good first of many,” he said. Warmth spread in Stiles’ chest as he looked at the photo. He hadn't seen one of himself in a long time where he didn't look miserable. “When I get a new phone you’ll have to send it to me.”

“You got it,” Derek said, before he leaned close and kissed Stiles on the lips.

Stiles grinned against Derek’s lips, moving a hand to cup around the back of Derek’s neck as he deepened it. “Mmm… I don't think I’m ever going to be able to get enough of those lips.”

Derek’s strong arms circled Stiles’ waist, holding him close. “Good thing we have time, then,” he murmured against Stiles’ cheek.

“We’ll have plenty of time,” Stiles said. “Especially if I don't go back for school…”

Derek sighed a bit and pulled back. “You need to finish school, Stiles. At least high school. Take it from me, it’s more important than you might think.” He rubbed one of his hands up and down Stiles’ back. “I won’t leave you… I can come back to Beacon Hills.”

“Will you, though? Come back with me if I go back?” Stiles asked. He tried not to sound hopeful, that Derek would come back with him like he was saying he would, but Stiles wasn't sure if he even wanted to go back yet. “I can always do my schooling online. We don't have to go back.”

“I'll come with you. I will.” Derek's voice was firm with conviction. “For now, let's just take it one day at a time.”

Stiles was quiet, but he nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I can do that. It's pretty much what I've been doing for a while now.”

“Good.” Derek nudged Stiles’ cheek again with his nose. “So… next step on this little road trip. How about Omaha?”

“What’s in Omaha?” Stiles asked with a growing smile. Stiles wasn't sure if he ever wanted to go back to Beacon Hills, but he was sure about one thing and that was that he wanted to be right here, with Derek.

*** 

Derek tapped his fingers idly on the steering wheel, some random classic rock song playing quietly on the radio. Stiles had been inside the library for a few minutes, sending emails before they left the city to find a hotel. His feet ached from walking around, having spent the day exploring both the zoo and aquarium in Omaha.

Derek was fairly sure Stiles' favorite part was when a small child decided to throw a tantrum along with her ice cream and it landed right on Derek's pants.

Smiling to himself, Derek saw the large glass door swing open and Stiles come out, hands jammed into the pockets of his hoodie. Derek's smile faded at the look on Stiles' face.

Stiles hurried down the steps and went around to the passenger side of the suv and climbed in. “Okay. Done. We can go.” Stiles buckled himself in and looked over at Derek. “You okay?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Derek said. “Has your dad emailed you back since the first time? Or anybody else in the pack?” He knew they must be worried about Stiles. The low-level guilt still lingered in Derek’s stomach, but that was pretty much a permanent state of affairs in his life anyway.

“They pretty much say all the same thing… where am I at, why did I leave, am I okay,” Stiles shrugged. “Stuff like that. I tell them I’m fine and not to look for me.”

Derek nodded, feeling uncomfortable. He reached across the center console and squeezed Stiles’ hand. “It’ll be okay,” he said again. Maybe if he believed it hard enough it would eventually be true. He couldn’t give up hope.

Stiles turned his hand over to hold Derek’s back and returned the brief squeeze. “Eventually,” Stiles agreed. “It’s already better.”

“That’s good.” Derek put the car in drive. “Now, what do you say we blow this pop stand?” He turned the radio up and started head banging, flashing metal horns with his other hand.

Stiles burst out laughing. “Who are you and who says those kinds of things?” Stiles said over the music, eyes trained on Derek. “Oh my god, just drive before you give me whiplash by watching you.”

“I think you bring it out in me,” Derek said, before he waggled his tongue at Stiles and snorted with laughter.” They pulled out from the parking spot and headed east, out of Omaha.

After driving for a few hours, they came to a motel near a truck stop flashing the vacancy sign. Stiles had drifted off again and Derek gently shook his shoulder to wake him.

Stiles gave a grunt of disapproval before opening his eyes and yawning. “Sorry I fell asleep,” he mumbled and sat up. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere near Des Moines,” Derek answered. “We can grab some food and crash at this motel for the night.” He gestured to the various fast food restaurants surrounding the truck stop.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you want. Do you want me to grab food while you check us in at the front?”

“If you’d like,” Derek said. “What are you in the mood for?” Derek steered the car into a parking spot near the motel office.

Stiles looked around and then pointed. “That little burger joint is in walking distance. Or we could always get something later. Settle in first.”

“Either way’s fine with me,” Derek said, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. He made his way to the office and knocked on the door, before it swung open on rusty hinges. Raising his eyebrows at Stiles, they walked in together.

An ancient looking man sat behind the counter smoking a cigarette, the ashes at least an inch long and hanging precariously. Derek cleared his throat and the man raised his eyebrows. “We’re looking for a room for the night,” Derek said.

“We got two rooms left,” the man said, talking around his cigarette and somehow still managing to not knock the ashes loose. “Both single beds. Kings.” He flicked his eyes between Derek and Stiles.

Stiles looked from the man to Derek and licked his lips before nodding. “Um, that’s fine.” Stiles shifted from one foot to the other, looking slightly nervous.

Derek forked over some cash and the man slid a single key across the counter, his eyes narrowing a bit as he took the both of them in. He counted the money and waved them off. Derek pocketed the key and guided Stiles back out the door, hand on the small of his back.

“Friendly sort,” Derek said, rolling his eyes. 

“Have to remember not everywhere is as progressive as back home,” Stiles said as he went back to the car to grab his bag out of the back. He handed Derek his. “I think I can wait to eat.”

“You sure?” Derek asked, taking his bag.

“Yeah. That beef jerking held me over earlier.” Stiles raised his shoulder then started off towards their room.

Derek’s nostrils flared a bit as a now familiar scent started wafting off Stiles. He had a good idea why Stiles was so keen on skipping dinner for now and he smiled a bit to himself. They got to their room and Derek unlocked the door, flipping the light switch on to reveal a horrendous color scheme in blues and greens. The bed looked clean enough though and the room smelled all right, which was better than he was expecting. Dropping his bag, Derek crept up behind Stiles where he was standing beside the bed and placed a soft kiss at the back of his neck.

Stiles gave a small chuckle. “At least we can say we’ve seen a lot of different motel rooms,” he said, tilting his head to the side in offering. Stiles breathed deeply and reached for Derek’s hands to pull them around him.

“And I’m guessing we’ll see more of them,” Derek huffed, scraping his beard down the side of Stiles’ neck. He let one of his hands sneak under the hem of Stiles’ t-shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin as he palmed Stiles’ belly, before dragging his hand upwards.

Stiles sighed, resting his head back against Derek’s shoulder, hand reaching up to cup Derek’s face. “I love the way your beard feels on my skin,” he breathed, pressing back against Derek’s body. “Thank you for not shaving it off.”

“Hmmm, is that so?” Derek asked, plan already formulating in his mind. He spun Stiles’ around by the waist and gently pushed him so he fell backwards, bouncing on the bedspread. Rucking Stiles’ shirt up under his armpits, Derek started rubbing his beard on the sensitive skin of Stiles’ stomach and sides, rumbling deep in his throat. His wolf loved it, getting his scent all over Stiles.

Stiles was pliable in Derek’s hands, arching up against him and groaning softly as he buried his fingers into Derek’s hair. He gave a shaky breath, pressing Derek further down his abdomen towards his happy trail and the hard bulge in his jeans. “Derek,” Stiles whined, almost begging.

“Patience,” Derek murmured against Stiles’ tummy. He pressed a finger to Stiles’ nipple, tweaking it a bit, until it hardened into a peak. Kissing Stiles’ stomach softly, he then pushed them further up the bed so he could climb on and settle comfortably between Stiles’ legs.

Stiles was flushed as he looked up at Derek, skin pinking all over from Derek’s beard and his own arousal. Stiles licked his lips and reached for the hem of Derek’s shirt, pressing his fingers underneath to touch warm skin. “I want to see you naked again,” Stiles said quietly. “Whatever you’ll let me have.”

Derek shuddered a bit at Stiles’ words, then sat up and stripped his shirt over his head, letting it drop to the floor. He grabbed one of Stiles’ hands and pressed it to his stomach, then guided it up his abdomen, his hand catching slightly on the hairs.

Stiles’ breath was coming quicker as his fingers trailed up Derek’s tanned skin and he moved to sit up, thumb brushing over Derek’s nipple. “God, you’re beautiful.” Stiles leaned in, rubbing his cheek over the hair on Derek’s chest as if he were trying to paint Derek with his own scent.

“I want to see you too,” Derek said, sliding his hand around the back of Stiles’ neck and pulling him up into a deep kiss. “Take this off.” He plucked at the hem of Stiles’ shirt.

Stiles obliged and quickly removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor with Derek’s. “How’s that?”

Derek let his gaze rake over Stiles’ torso. “Beautiful,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss Stiles again, his hands cradling Stiles’ head. Carefully, he guided them back down until he was draped over Stiles completely, the skin of their chests pressed together.

Stiles’ legs fell open to cradle Derek's body, arms moving to wrap around Derek as he kissed him back. Stiles licked into Derek's mouth to kiss him deeply, giving pleased little sounds as he rocked up against Derek's hips.

Derek ground back against Stiles, his dick rapidly hardening in his pants. He could feel Stiles’ own erection against his hip and that spurred him on more, increasing the motion of his hips. “I want to feel all of you,” he breathed. “See you come undone.” Trailing his lips across Stiles’ jaw, he latched onto one of his earlobes and sucked on it, flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin.

Stiles moaned, digging blunt nails into Derek’s shoulder. “Whatever you want,” he panted against Derek’s skin, licking and sucking kisses into the toned flesh. Stiles buried his face against Derek’s neck, breathing deeply, licking and trying to suck dark marks into his skin. “I-I want you, inside of me, whenever you’re ready to move onto that. Even if it’s not tonight.”

“We’ll get there,” Derek said, keeping his voice soothing. “Just let me take care of you for now.” He kissed Stiles briefly, then slithered his way down Stiles’ body, kissing and nipping at the skin, marking it up beautifully. He got to Stiles’ waistband and looked up for a moment before unbuttoning the jeans and dragging down the zipper. “Lift up,” he said, tapping Stiles’ hips.

Stiles didn't hesitate, lifting his hips for Derek, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. “Take yours off too…”

Derek pulled Stiles’ jeans and underwear off, in one motion, taking off his shoes and socks with them. Smirking a little, he stood and toed off his own boots and socks, then unzipped his jeans and pressed them down past his thighs. His cock was fully hard and leaking at the tip and his mouth watered when he saw Stiles’ was in a similar state. “Can I taste you?” he asked, reaching out to run his hands up Stiles’ inner thighs.

Stiles whined high in the back of his throat, eyes roving over Derek and stopping on his cock. He licked his lips and sighed out his arousal, nodding with another desperate sound. “Please. God, please.”

Derek climbed back onto the bed between Stiles’ legs, his mouth watering. Bending down, he licked a long stripe up the underside of Stiles’ dick, groaning at the taste flooding his mouth. It had been a long time since he’d had the weight of another man’s cock in his mouth and the fact that it was Stiles made it all the more amazing. Derek carefully took the head between his lips and sucked, swallowing the salty burst of precome. He used his other hand to loosely circle the base of Stiles’ dick, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Stiles breathed out shakily, moving his hand to Derek's hair with a quiet moan. He arched off the bed, bending his leg at the knee, toes curling. “Oh, fuck.”

Derek groaned around Stiles’ cock, the sounds of Stiles’ pleasure shooting straight to his own dick, throbbing between his legs. He bobbed his head, taking in as much of Stiles as he could, letting his throat relax and swallow around Stiles’ length.

Stiles whimpered, fingers twisting tighter into Derek's hair. He raised his hips, pressing his cock a little deeper into Derek's throat. “Oh my god. Your throat. I'm going to come down it if you keep doing that.”

Derek’s response was to suck harder. He wanted that, wanted to taste Stiles so badly. With a free hand Derek lifted his fingers to Stiles’ mouth, rubbing them against his lips and hoping he’d take the hint.

Stiles opened his mouth greedily, drawing Derek's fingers in and sucking them like Derek was sucking his cock. Stiles groaned around them, laving his tongue over Derek's digits, hips gently rolling to fuck into Derek's mouth. Suddenly Stiles moaned loudly, shuddering and spasming as he came hard.

Derek swallowed instinctively, shocked but pleased that he’d gotten Stiles that worked up. When Stiles’ cock finished spurting, he swallowed a final time before gently letting it slip from his mouth. Breathing hard, he rested his head on Stiles’ thigh. “Was that good for you?” he asked, panting.

Stiles laughed softly and reached down for Derek, dragging him up for an open, wet and needy kiss. “Mmm, so good.” Stiles kissed Derek again, drawing him closer. “I want to suck you now.”

Derek’s cock gave a hearty twitch at Stiles’ words. “Okay,” he breathed. “How do you want me?”

Stiles licked and nibbled against Derek's lips, looking like he was intoxicated on him, pupils blown wide. “Get up here,” Stiles said, pulling Derek up more. “Fuck my face.”

“Fuck,” Derek breathed. “Here,” he said, helping maneuver Stiles until his head was propped up slightly on the pillows. Then he crawled up his body, gripping the wooden headboard and sliding his legs over Stiles’ shoulders. His cock was a dark red color by now, freely dripping precome from the exposed head. “Are you comfortable?” he asked, wanting to make sure before they started.

“Yeah,” Stiles panted, leaning up just a bit to open his mouth and take the head of Derek’s cock into his mouth. He groaned softly around him, his hands moving to Derek’s ass and squeezing, pressing him forward and more in.

Derek groaned in his throat as he watched his cock disappear inch by inch into Stiles’ mouth, those plump lips stretched wide around it. He clutched desperately to the headboard, not wanting to thrust to deep and choke Stiles, who was looking up at him with bright eyes. “You’re amazing,” he whined, his hips twitching minutely.

Stiles groaned again, sucking Derek down and breathing deep before he relaxed his jaw and gave Derek’s ass another squeeze, eyes trained on Derek’s.

Derek brain was hazy with pleasure, but he thought he understood Stiles’ unspoken words. “Just… pinch my thigh if it gets to be too much,” he said and Stiles nodded. Derek carefully started thrusting his hips, moaning aloud at the slick warmth of Stiles’ mouth.

The muscles in his thighs started burning with a pleasant ache as he pumped his hips fluidly, the pleasure getting more intense as Stiles swallowed and moaned around him. Before long he could feel his orgasm bearing down on him and unusual tightening at the base of his dick. He looked down and felt his eyes almost bug out of his head at the swelling slowly appearing as his cock slid in and out of Stiles’ mouth. “Oh fuck, Stiles, I’m gonna, I’m gonna…” he moaned tremulously. Derek guided his cock out of Stiles’ mouth, the base rapidly getting too big to fit. “My knot… I’m knotting.”

“You’re what?” Stiles asked, looking confused. Stiles’ eyes dropped to Derek’s cock and instantly filled with lust. “That’s an actual thing? Fuck. That’s hot.” Stiles groaned, lapping at Derek’s cock and moved one hand around to grip the base of Derek’s dick, squeezing. He sucked the head back into his mouth hungrily.

“Oh shit.” Derek honest to god whimpered as Stiles worked at his knot. “I’m coming,” he nearly yelled, the headboard cracking as he squeezed it convulsively. His orgasm felt like it went on for hours, wave after wave of mind-numbing pleasure ripping through him, his come spilling down Stiles’ throat.

When Derek’s hips stopped thrusting, Stiles slowly pulled his mouth off Derek’s cock, hand still wrapped tight around Derek’s knot. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed, voice hoarse. Stiles rubbed his face along Derek’s length, dipping down to mouth at his knot. “God I want your knot inside of me. So hot.”

“Oh God,” Derek groaned, his dick spurting more come as another, smaller orgasm hit him. The thought of his knot, his knot, being buried deep inside Stiles and tying them together… It all appealed to the very basest parts of him and he felt like his brain was going to combust or melt out his ears.

“You okay?” Stiles asked softly, gently releasing Derek’s knot from his grip and placing kisses along it.

“It’s just… intense,” Derek panted, still feeling short of breath. He scooted his body back and threw himself to the side, chest heaving with exertion. Derek’s head was pillowed next to Stiles, who looked ravished, his lips swollen and face flushed. Leaning forward, Derek let their lips meet, his tongue swiping out to catch some of his own flavor mixed with Stiles’.

Stiles smiled and turned onto his side to face Derek, tilting his neck for Derek. “So you have a knot, huh?”

“Apparently, so,” Derek said, unable to stop himself from rutting a bit against Stiles’ leg, feeling a strong urge to spread his scent all over. He laid a kiss over Stiles’ pulse point and sucked, tasting his sweat and come.

Stiles grinned, moving to throw his thigh over Derek’s hip, giving a pleased sound. “I can get totally used to all this.” Stiles’ fingers traced over Derek’s back, drifting over his tattoo.

“Me too,” Derek said, shivering with pleasure at Stiles’ light and teasing touch. They lay quietly for a few minutes before Stiles’ stomach growled loudly. Snorting, Derek rubbed Stiles’ tummy. “I think we might need to get that food now. How about ordering in?” Now that the urgency of the moment was past, Derek could feel how ravenous he was as well.

“You think this small town has Chinese? Every place has to have Chinese food.” Stiles carded his fingers through Derek’s hair, face soft and content despite his stomach’s protest.

“I guess we’ll find out,” Derek said, rolling himself on top of Stiles and kissing him again. His cheeks hurt from smiling as he looked down into Stiles’ equally pleased face. “Eventually.”

*** 

A few days later, they found themselves driving through almost endless amounts of farmland, the fields just barely starting to grow. Derek had mentioned taking Stiles somewhere he’d been as a child, but he wouldn’t give Stiles any clues. He’d just said it was somewhere that had to be seen and experience first hand.

They passed a sign saying, Spring Green 5 miles, and Derek nudged Stiles’ arm. “We’re almost there.”

“Where?” Stiles asked as he looked up and barely saw the sign. He’d been mostly distracted by the farmland and the fact that Derek was so close. After the night they’d spent exploring each others bodies, Stiles felt like he was hypersensitive to Derek and he was loving every second of it. He reached across for Derek’s hand and placed his over Derek’s.

Threading their fingers together, Derek gave Stiles’ hand a squeeze. “In a few minutes.” As they drove the last few miles, the farmland started to disappear into trees, the road getting hillier. “There,” Derek said, pointing with their linked hands. “The House on the Rock road,” he added, as they turned onto it. The trees opened up into a small parking lot, with an elaborate garden surrounding it.

“What’s The House on the Rock?” Stiles asked, looking over the garden. Every one of their stops on this road trip had been a surprise and this was no different. Stiles was excited to see what this place was, just like he had been about all the other places. “Don't tell me it’s just literally a house on a rock and that’s it…”

Derek chuckled. “Well, part of it is a house on a rock.” Derek opened his door and stepped out of the car. “We visited this place when we were here in Wisconsin for awhile. I was much younger, but I’ve never forgotten it.” Stiles met him around the back of the car and Derek caught his hand again. “The man who commissioned the house spent the rest of his life creating a huge collection of eclectic things, and turned this place into a kind of museum crossed with an old attic. It’s really unusual.” He gestured around the large gardens. “I’ve actually never seen this part before, it’s a recent addition.”

Stiles felt warmth begin radiating in his chest and he smiled, looking over at Derek, giving his hand a squeeze. “Thank you. For sharing all these things with me. Things you spent doing with your family. Someday I’ll have to show you where my mom and I used to go when I was a kid. I mean, it’s nothing like this, but it’s still special.”

Derek stopped at once and tugged Stiles to face him. “If it’s special to you, then it’ll be special to me. No matter what it is.”

Stiles smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on Derek’s lips. “When we go back, I’ll show you.”

“It’s a date,” Derek replied with a grin. He pulled Stiles in the direction of an atrium, where there was a kiosk to buy tickets for the tour. Derek paid for the full tour for the both of them and they were directed into the house itself. The architecture was unusual and the house cramped. Derek seemed eager to get Stiles into the rest of the attraction and once they exited the gatehouse they came to an insanely long corridor under an archway that read “The Infinity Room”.

“Just a heads up,” Derek said with a smirk. “You may get a little woozy looking down once we get to the end.”

Stiles stopped as soon as they stepped onto the walkway. He tried not to look down and his heart began racing, his breath coming shorter. “How high up are we?” he asked, holding Derek’s hand and keeping them stopped like a rock against the water.

“I’m not sure exactly. Enough that you can see the tops of those pines,” Derek said, gesturing at the windowed sides.

Stiles took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I don’t think I can go out there.” He released Derek’s hand and stepped back, trying his best to keep himself from having an attack. “What if I fall off? With my luck I will!”

“There’s nothing to fall off of, Stiles,” Derek said gently. “It’s just a room. But if you don’t want to go down it, we won’t.” They walked back through the archway. “As long as you don’t make fun of me for wanting to skip the Heritage of the Sea room.”

Stiles gave Derek an unamused look. “What is so bad about a sea room? It’s not hanging over some pines for people to get skewered on.”

“Just… you’ll see.” Derek’s face flushed a bit. “I can still hear Laura laughing at me.”

“No promises,” Stiles said and chuckled. “But I won't make you go in it because you didn't make me go out there.”

“That’s good to know.” They walked hand in hand down into a darker area and Derek explained, “These are the Streets of Yesterday.” Even though they were indoors, it looked like they had been transported back in time, under a night sky, cobblestone roads lined with old shops and houses, lamp posts casting a yellow glow over them. There were even trees.

Stiles’ eyes were large with wonder as they walked through and he peeked into the shops. “I can't believe that this place collected all of these things. There’s so much stuff. Wow.”

“I’ve always loved history,” Derek said. “This was always my favorite part, because it feels like you’re inside it.”

“You know, there are those fairs where you can dress up as knights and things,” Stiles said as he tugged Derek along. “We should go to one of those sometime.”

“There’s actually one near the border in Illinois,” Derek said, nudging Stiles with his elbow. “Do you think you’d dress up for it?” When Stiles looked at him, Derek’s eyes were full of mischief.

Stiles raised his brows and he chuckled. “Oh. I totally would. Are you going to be my knight, stealing my virtue before marriage?” Stiles asked with a grin.

Derek threw back his head and laughed. “You know, if I remember correctly, one of the displays around here has suits of armor. Maybe I should snag one?”

“If you steal one of their armor displays they are going to arrest you and I definitely don't have enough money to bail you out of jail,” Stiles said with a laugh of his own. He glanced around before leaning in to kiss Derek.

Derek slid his arms around Stiles’ waist and kissed him back, sweetly but thoroughly. He pulled back and smiled at Stiles, eyes soft with feeling. “Come on,” he said. “The next room is where you get to see me chicken out.”

Stiles laughed, amused and followed Derek. “Show me the way!”

As they moved down a hallway, the strains of the song “Octopus’s Garden” floated out of a doorway. Just inside the door was an automated band made up of creatures from under the sea. At Stiles’ look, Derek shook his head and laughed. “This is not what freaked me out. Just… look to the left.” As they reached the entrance, Stiles could see that the room was huge and high ceilinged, dominated by a massive sculpture of a sea monster and an octopus engaged in battle. Derek was carefully looking anywhere but at the creatures, laughing a bit to himself. “Yep. Still not okay.”

“Holy shit!” Stiles said loudly and several people turned to look at him. He looked around and then back at the huge octopus and stuck his head into the door of the room. “Oh my god. So you’re not going in here?” he asked as he looked back over at Derek, who wasn't looking at him.”

Derek gestured to the walkways that wound around the room, right up to the ceiling. “Well… those go right past that thing’s open mouth. There’s lots of interesting things on the walls, but…” He looked at Stiles. “Do you want to go through it?”

Stiles looked back at the monsters and then at Derek. “Not if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. I told you that I wouldn't make you go in.”

Derek stole a glance at the massive whale, then back at Stiles. “I can hear Laura cackling,” he muttered again before tugging them out past the automated band and into another passage.

Stiles kept from chuckling and followed Derek.

They passed the suits of armor, watched the world's largest carousel take a spin, and picked up lunch at a cafe. There was so much to see they could probably have stayed the entire day, but eventually they had to call it quits before their feet started to ache.

*** 

After all the walking they did at the House on the Rock, Derek convinced Stiles to get a hotel room in Madison before heading down to Bristol, Illinois and the Renaissance Faire. They picked one near the Interstate, and it was nicer than the previous they’d taken. They even had an indoor pool.

Since the first night it happened, they kept getting rooms with a single king bed, neither one of them willing to sleep apart anymore. Stiles’ nightmares had almost fully dissipated with Derek just holding him close every night.

After a long dinner at a fondue joint that Derek found, they came back to the room and crashed onto the bed, Derek rubbing at his stomach. “That was some quality food,” he muttered, letting his body relax into the pillows.

“Yeah,” Stiles said with a sigh. “I think if I eat anymore I’m going to explode. Good thing that we left before that disaster happened.”

Derek snorted with laughter, scooting over to let Stiles get further onto the bed. “So,” he asked, “did you want to do anything tonight?”

“Like what?” Stiles asked, turning over onto his side to face Derek, smiling.

Derek rolled himself until they were pressed together front to front. “I don’t know,” he hedged, but he was smiling himself. “But I’m sure we could think of something.” He dragged his nose along Stiles’ jaw then pressed their lips together in a kiss.

Stiles grinned into the kiss and moved his fingers into Derek’s hair. He was loose and warmly pressed flush to Derek, sliding his thigh over Derek’s hip. “Mmm, I’m sure we could.”

Derek kept them on their sides so to not crush their still full stomachs, kissing Stiles’ lazily but thoroughly. He wasn’t sure he could ever remember feeling this relaxed and happy before.

“I don't think I'm gonna be able to do anything until I digest some,” Stiles said with a chuckle. “But I have some ideas.”

“I like your ideas,” Derek said, sighing in contentment. Stiles’ eyes were out of focus from proximity, their lips nearly touching. Derek reached a hand up and traced his fingers along Stiles’ face and jaw, then ran his fingers through Stiles’ hair. “I love touching you,” he mused.

Stiles eyes were soft as he smiled, smoothing his fingers through Derek's hair too. “I love when you touch me. And when I touch you too…” Stiles pressed a light kiss to Derek's lips. “I never want this feeling to end.”

“We’re here,” Derek whispered. “Together. Just be with me, right now, at this moment.” His hand traveled down Stiles’ side to rest on the curve of his waist, the tips of his fingers slipping into the waistband of Stiles’ jeans. Stiles’ skin was hot and soft to the touch and Derek couldn’t help but rub his fingers back and forth slowly, drinking it in.

Stiles studied Derek quietly then leaned in and kissed him soft and thorough, moving in closer against Derek. His hand drifted down to the hem of Derek's shirt, pressing warm fingers under it to trace against Derek's skin.

Derek rumbled with pleasure, feeling those clever fingers dancing against him. He tugged Stiles a bit closer and rolled them, allowing Stiles to settle between his thighs. Derek tipped his neck back in clear invitation, relishing the weight of Stiles above him.

Stiles didn't hesitate to take the invitation, dipping down to lick and suck against Derek’s neck, leaving gentle teeth marks against his skin. Stiles breathed him in, rubbing his face against the side of Derek’s neck before sucking a dark mark into his skin, only for it to disappear just as quickly. He rocked his hips against Derek, groaning softly.

Derek could feel himself hardening quickly as a result of Stiles’ mouth and the sinuous movement of his body. He let both of his hands come to rest on the swell of Stiles’ ass, squeezing and rubbing it through his jeans. Breathing heavily, he let one of his hands snake back inside Stiles’ waistband, his fingers stroking gently at the cleft of his ass. “Is this okay?” Derek asked.

Stiles gave a soft sound against Derek's neck. “Yeah. More than okay,” he whispered against Derek's skin. He nosed along Derek's jaw line and gently set his teeth against him and bit teasingly. “I want you.”

Stomach clenching with need, Derek let his fingers venture further down Stiles’ backside, allowing them to ghost over his hole. “I want to be inside you, Stiles. More than anything.” He whispered this into Stiles’ ear, the atmosphere in the room hushed and expectant.

Stiles groaned softly against Derek's neck and turned up to kiss him. “I want to feel you inside of me too.” Stiles licked his lips and moved his hand to stroke over Derek's cheek, staring into his eyes. “I've never… with a guy. You'll be my first.”

Derek’s heart clenched at the naked trust in Stiles’ face. “I hope I won’t disappoint you,” he said. He wanted this to be right, to go well. He needed it to.

“I don't think you can,” Stiles said softly, a small smile on his lips. “I'm too far gone on you for this to be anything but amazing.”

“Noted,” Derek said, his free hand coming up to cup Stiles’ neck and draw him into a deeper, more passionate kiss. Rolling them so he was on top, Derek sat up on his heels and stripped off his shirt before tugging on Stiles to do the same to him. “Take your pants off,” he said, giving the bulge in the front of Stiles’ jeans a gentle squeeze.

Stiles chuckled. “So romantic,” he teased and pulled his shirt off. He quickly undid his pants and stripped them off along with his underwear, leaving him in nothing but his socks. Stiles laid back on the bed and grinned up at Derek, letting his legs fall open for Derek’s viewing pleasure.

Derek rolled his eyes, but felt himself grinning in response. “So sexy,” he cooed, running his hand up the inside of Stiles’ thighs, then back down again. Standing back up, he pulled off his own clothes and climbed back onto the bed between Stiles’ spread legs. Derek loosely tugged on Stiles’ cock, feeling it pulse in his hand. “I’m going to blow you now, okay?”

“You never have to ask about blowing me,” Stiles said, reaching out to touch Derek’s hand on his cock. “You can blow me anytime you want, as long as I can suck you anytime I want, too.”

“Fair’s fair,” Derek agreed, before leaning down to lap at the head of Stiles’ cock. Dragging his tongue down its length, he stopped to lave at Stiles’ balls, sucking first one then the other into his mouth. He used his hands to press Stiles’ legs apart, leaving him completely open to Derek’s questing mouth.

Stiles’ hands moved to Derek's head, his fingers digging into Derek's hair on a soft moan. “Oh, fuck,” he panted, whining in the back of his throat. Stiles raised his hips as if he could get Derek to touch him more.

Derek buried his face behind Stiles’ balls, lapping at the tight muscles of Stiles’ hole. After a few seconds, he drew back, gasping. “Can you turn over for me?” he asked, his voice already wrecked, his lips feeling swollen and tingly.

“Hmm?” Stiles asked, looking up at Derek with a dazed look. After a moment the words seemed to register. “Oh. Okay. Yeah.” Stiles pulled his hands away from Derek and drew back, turning over onto his stomach.

Groaning to himself at the sight before him, Derek let his hands come to rest on the soft rounds of Stiles’ ass. He squeezed Stiles’ ass cheeks briefly before spreading them and licking his lips at the sight of Stiles’ hole. Slapping one cheek lightly, Derek tugged Stiles’ hips so they were tilted upwards then slid a pillow underneath to support him. “There we go,” Derek murmured, stroking his hand up the middle of Stiles’ back.

Stiles arched into Derek's touch, causing his spine to dip and his ass to raise more in presentation. “Just don't stop touching me,” Stiles breathed, dropping his forehead onto his arm. “Can't get enough of you touching me.”

“I won’t,” Derek promised. “I’m not even close to being done with you.” His hands went back to Stiles’ ass and he spread his cheeks again, bending down to drag his tongue from Stiles’ balls all the way to his tailbone. “Has anyone done this to you before?” he asked, voice husky. He placed a soft bite on the swell of Stiles’ butt, pleased at the small, red marks that showed up on that pale skin.

Stiles gave a needy sound as he shook his head. “You're my first.” Stiles twisted to look over his shoulder at Derek. “My experience is kind of limited.”

Derek’s dick gave a hard twitch at the reminder, a bead of precome pulsing out of the slit and running down the exposed head. “Better make this memorable then,” he said and grinned. Bending over, he buried his face in Stiles’ backside again, lashing his tongue across his hole, getting it dripping wet with saliva. As it twitched and loosened, he worked the tip of his tongue inside, feeling Stiles clench around it.

Stiles groaned into his arm, pressing back against Derek's face. “We are doing this way more often now,” he mumbled between a whimper, his hand dipping down to grip his cock and squeeze.

Derek moaned in response, letting one of his hands go to Stiles’ mouth, resting his fingers against Stiles’ lips. He rubbed the scruff of his beard against Stiles’ ass, delighting in the shudder it earned him.

Stiles’ mouth opened to take Derek's fingers into it, sucking and laving against his digits with another moan. His hole squeezed around Derek's tongue and he teethed Derek's fingers.

Withdrawing his slick fingers, he brought them back to Stiles’ ass and let his index finger slide into Stiles’ hole, replacing his tongue. He gently tugged on Stiles’ rim, letting him adjust to the new intrusion. “You still doing okay?” he rasped, licking his lips again, the taste of Stiles coating his tongue.

“Yeah, yeah.” Stiles sighed out as he relaxed, rocking his hips back and fucking himself onto Derek’s finger slowly. He gently tugged his cock as he lazily rolled his hips back against Derek’s hand again. “God, can't wait to feel your cock inside of me.”

Derek groaned, watching his finger getting swallowed by Stiles’ ass, working it in and out against the rolling of Stiles’ hips. “Tell me we have lube somewhere close,” he said, pressing a kiss to Stiles’ tailbone.

“Front pocket of my backpack,” Stiles panted, his hole fluttering around Derek's finger as he stroked his cock a bit faster.

Derek cast his gaze around the room and groaned a little at how far away the backpack was. “Don’t go anywhere,” he murmured, regretfully pulling his fingers free of Stiles’ body and climbing off the bed. Searching the pockets, he pulled out the tube of lube and quickly rejoined Stiles. He squeezed some of the liquid onto his slick fingers and rubbed them together before bringing them back to Stiles’ hole and sinking first one, then two fingers inside.

Stiles moaned and clenched against Derek's fingers. “I can take more,” Stiles panted, taking Derek’s fingers down to the hilt. “Need to get me nice and stretched for you.” Stiles squeezed his cock and reached back to rub his balls and then over Derek’s fingers at his entrance. “Want you to knot me tonight.”

“Jesus,” Derek breathed, his free hand going to the base of his cock and squeezing hard. “The mouth on you, I swear.” Giving Stiles what he wanted, he let a third finger slip into his hole and steadily pumped and twisted them, stretching Stiles wide.

Stiles’ forehead dropped to his arm, pleased little sounds falling from his lips as he worked his hips. Stiles reached back, fumbling until he felt Derek’s cock and gripped him, stroking him in time with his thrusts.

“Fuck,” Derek bit out, his hips thrusting forward into Stiles’ fist. “God, I need to get inside you before I explode.” He drizzled lube over his own cock, hissing at the coolness then moaning as Stiles’ hand slid over it, coating his dick.

“I’m ready,” Stiles panted, squeezing tight around Derek’s fingers again. “I want you inside of me. Please, Derek.” Stiles gripped Derek’s cock firmly, guiding it to his entrance. “Need you.”

Letting his fingers slip free, Derek immediately replaced them with head of his cock, trembling as Stiles’ body just opened for him. As he slid past the ring of muscle he felt like his spine might melt, already a mind-numbing pleasure rushing over him. Moving slowly, he pressed in until his pelvis bumped the upturned curve of Stiles’ ass. He held there, shaking and panting and trying to hold off from popping his knot that second.

Stiles moaned softly into the bed, fingers twisting into the sheets. He trembled there under Derek, breath coming quicker with his eyes squeezed shut. Stiles shifted his hips slightly and then he was groaning loudly and shuddering under Derek as he came, hips jerking and hole squeezing impossibly tight around Derek’s cock.

Derek’s eyes rolled back in his head as the scent of Stiles’ climax washed over him, assaulting his senses. He barely held off his own orgasm as Stiles clenched over and over, holding him like a vise. “God, Stiles,” he whined. “How are you real?” Holding onto Stiles’ hips, he slowly drew out and plunged back in, Stiles’ hole still fluttering around him as he jerked and moaned. “Going to get you hard again,” Derek panted. “You’re going to come on my knot, milk me as we’re tied together.” He ran one hand up Stiles’ back, scratching his nails along his spine, leaving faint lines of heat, before letting his hand come to rest on the back of Stiles’ neck, cupping it possessively.

Stiles whined, small sounds of pleasure leaving his parted lips as he trembled under Derek, breath slowly evening out. “Please. God, I want that. Want you to do all of that. Fuck. Want your knot so bad.” Stiles shifted more onto his knees, raising his ass and pressing flush to Derek’s hips, taking him in balls deep. “Kiss me,” Stiles begged softly, twisting just enough to reach back for Derek.

Derek curled his hand tighter around Stiles’ neck, holding him where he wanted him and pressing a deep kiss to his mouth. His other arm he looped around Stiles’ waist, helping to support him further up in the air and allowing him to thrust in at a perfect angle. Derek could feel the speed of his thrusts going up as he started chasing his own pleasure. The two of them panted and groaned into each other’s mouths, the air between them growing humid with desire. “You’re perfect,” Derek groaned, meaning it more than anything.

Stiles couldn't say anything and just breathed against Derek’s mouth, moaning softly and reaching a hand up to grip Derek’s hair and pull him into another deep kiss. When he let go, Stiles dropped his chest down onto the bed, panting as Derek’s hips punched desperate sounds out of him. “Oh, fuck. Fuckfuckfuck,” he breathed, cock already half-hard again.

Curling himself over Stiles’ back, Derek let himself breathe into the nape of Stiles’ neck where his scent was strongest. Growling low in his throat, Derek felt his fangs drop and claws lengthen, moving into his beta shift. He’d never lost control during sex before, but he couldn’t stop himself, his inner wolf howling at the beautiful way Stiles was writhing below him; it was the heat of his body and the potency of his scent. “Stiles,” he whined again, letting his teeth gently graze the skin of Stiles’ neck.

Stiles whimpered, moving a hand back to Derek’s head and carding his fingers through Derek’s hair. Stiles tilted his neck in offering, drawing Derek down. Stiles shifted and curled his feet around the back of Derek’s thighs. “Do it,” Stiles breathed. “I want you to.”

Derek wasn’t sure he was going to live through this. Stiles was going to kill him with lust. Feeling every bit of their bodies connecting, Derek let himself seal his mouth over Stiles’ neck and bite down, feeling the skin break and a hot rush of blood flow over his tongue. At the first taste of Stiles, Derek felt his orgasm bearing down on him like a runaway train and he ground his hips as close to Stiles as possible, his knot starting to swell.

Stiles groaned underneath Derek, fingers twisting into Derek’s hair and holding him firmly. Stiles’ ass moved with Derek’s hips, grinding back against him until neither of them could move and all Stiles could do was whimper, whine and groan underneath Derek. “God, I’m going to come again. Oh, fuck. Your knot, Derek.”

Derek moaned around his mouthful of Stiles, his cock pulsing and emptying into Stiles as his knot reached full size, locking him inside. Pulling his mouth free, Derek lapped at the bloody mark on Stiles’ neck. “Come for me,” he whispered. “Let me feel you squeezing my knot.”

It didn't take more than Derek’s voice in Stiles’ ear and Derek’s knot grinding into him to get Stiles to come. He groaned and tensed under Derek, his ass squeezing tight around Derek’s knot before spasming and pulsing as he dirtied the bed. “Fuckfuckfuck! Oh, fuck! Derek – oh, God. DerekDerek.”

Derek slid his hand up around Stiles’ torso, feeling his heart beating like a caged animal. His own heart pounded along in the same rhythm as they both came down. Carefully, he rolled them to their sides, keeping Stiles pressed against his front. His cock was still spasming every few seconds and he found himself grinding forward every time it did. Nuzzling the back of Stiles’ neck, Derek murmured, “I hope you enjoyed that as much as it seemed like you did.”

“I’m still enjoying it,” Stiles panted, reaching back to grip Derek’s ass and squeezed. “Feel so full with your knot in me. God, it feels amazing.” Stiles whimpered and pressed back as Derek’s hips ground against him again. “How long does this last?”

“Umm, I don’t actually know for sure. The only other time I’ve knotted was that time with you a few days ago,” Derek admitted. He had a feeling being locked inside Stiles was going to make the knot last a bit longer than before. Not that he was complaining.

Stiles craned his neck to look at Derek, a small smile forming on his lips. His eyes drifted over Derek’s features as he leaned in to give Derek an open, wet kiss, his hand drifting up to cup Derek’s head and gently drag blunt nails against Derek’s scalp.

Rumbling with contentment, Derek kissed back lazily, careful not to nick Stiles with his fangs. He couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt, exposing all of himself to Stiles in this way. But he felt no desire to hide and no shame in what he was.

When they parted from the kiss, Stiles rested his head, fingers still lightly stroking through Derek’s hair. “Thank you for sharing this with me,” Stiles said softly.

“I’m glad I did,” Derek replied, pressing his head into Stiles’ hand, relishing the gentle touch.

Stiles sighed in contentment. “You know, I’m glad it was you. I mean, I’ve wanted it to be you for a while now, but I’m glad it was you now.” Stiles fingers continued to stroke through Derek’s hair and he turned to smile at Derek practically purring and rubbing against his hand.

“You did?” Derek asked, feeling languid and relaxed. All his muscles felt like they were turning to jelly. He rolled his hips again and shuddered when Stiles squeezed around his still swollen knot.

“Yeah,” Stiles said quietly. “I mean I’ve always been attracted to you, but I think I really fell during that summer.” Stiles gave a soft laugh. “Thought I might’ve had a chance but then you ended up with my English teacher.”

Derek tensed a bit at the mention of Jennifer, the way he’d let another person in just to use him. He reminded himself that that would never happen with Stiles and buried his face at the base of Stiles’ neck again. “Maybe we just weren’t ready until now,” he whispered.

“Maybe,” Stiles said, mirroring Derek’s whisper. “I guess I’m just afraid of losing you now that I’ve finally found you.”

Derek could feel his beta shift retreating. He reached up with his now claw-free hand and gently grasped Stiles by the chin, turning his face. Propped up on his elbow, Derek looked down into Stiles’ eyes. “Don’t think about that,” he said. “Right now, we’re together. Just be here with me.”

Stiles was quiet as he watched Derek and finally nodded, even though he looked as if he had so many things to say, something haunted hiding behind his eyes. Stiles reached up a hand and cupped Derek’s face, running a thumb across Derek’s beard. “I’ll be here with you as long as I can.”

Derek turned his face minutely, just enough to press a kiss to the pad of Stiles’ thumb. “Good,” he whispered. Tugging Stiles’ body closer, Derek lay back down, pressing them together. He hoped this was a beginning. A real chance for them to chase away their demons once and for all.

***

Stiles opened his eyes and smiled at the sight in front of him. Derek was still asleep next to him in bed, snuggled under the blankets. Stiles didn't remember Derek’s knot sliding out of him, so he must have fallen asleep still tied to Derek and they’d come apart during the night. Stiles was sore and he ached in places he didn't know he could ache. But it was a good kind of ache, one that made him want to stretch and slide closer to Derek to nose him awake and beg him for his knot again. Warmth rested in Stiles’ belly and he knew he’d never be able to get rid of his need for Derek. Now or ever. Stiles’ eyes were soft as he reached over and lightly ran his fingers along the back of Derek’s hand, needing to touch him. He could still feel Derek’s come leaking out of his ass, his thighs a combination of being sticky with come and having it dried to his skin. He was filthy, but Stiles found that he liked it because he knew that he would smell like Derek everywhere, especially in all his sensitive, private places. It made him feel claimed, along with the gentle throb along his neck where Derek’s mark had already started to heal.

Stiles couldn't say it aloud, that he loved Derek and had for some time, because he was afraid that Derek didn't feel the same about him. He did, though. Love Derek. He was afraid that he’d lose Derek, too. That Braeden or someone else would swoop in and steal him away. Stiles wasn't sure he would be able to survive that after everything else. He felt like he was just starting to heal and a large part of that was due to Derek. Stiles shifted closer to Derek and carefully pressed himself against Derek’s warmth as he leaned in and nosed along Derek’s cheek.

The corner of Derek’s mouth turned up a bit in sleep, his head tilting and exposing the line of his neck. He snuffled a little and shifted closer to Stiles, his body radiating heat like a furnace.

Stiles grinned and nosed down Derek’s neck, placing kisses in the wake of his lips. Stiles moved to slide his thigh over Derek’s hip, getting as close as he could. There was a need inside of Stiles to be close to Derek, both physically and emotionally; that needed him more than he’d needed anyone before. Stiles let that feeling settle inside of himself, accepting it as he turned his nose up to tease against Derek’s ear.

Derek squirmed against Stiles, huffing a small laugh. One of his eyes cracked open and his smile widened a fraction. “Good morning,” he said, voice rough with sleep.

“Morning,” Stiles replied and turned his face to press a kiss against Derek’s lips. “Sleep well?”

“Very,” Derek replied, rubbing his nose along Stiles’ cheekbone. “How about you?”

“That’s the best I’ve slept in forever,” Stiles said with a small chuckle. He trailed his fingers along Derek’s arm and over the back of his shoulder, still pressed flush against him. Stiles tilted his head and offered his neck.

Not wasting any time, Derek buried his face in Stiles’ neck, scenting him, breathing in deeply. His tongue darted out and licked a stripe up Stiles’ skin before pressed a sucking kiss underneath Stiles’ ear.

Stiles gave a sound of approval and cupped the back of Derek’s head. “Have I ever told you I’m completely okay with all your wolfy tendencies?”

“No,” Derek mumbled against Stiles’ neck. “But I kind of got that impression last night.” He nipped at the skin of Stiles’ neck, then resumed his licking and sucking, apparently determined to leave another mark.

Stiles laughed softly, enjoying the feeling of Derek’s attention against his neck. It turned into a quiet groan as he felt the sting against his skin, of blood being drawn to the surface to leave dark marks there. “We’re going to be late to the fair, but I’m totally okay with that.” Stiles tugged on Derek’s hair to draw him up for a needy kiss.

“It’s open late,” Derek assured him before kissing back just as fiercely, sucking at Stiles’ bottom lip.

Stiles moaned into Derek’s mouth, then pressed against Derek’s chest to guide him back onto the bed. Stiles followed, sliding over Derek and settling on top of him. “Is this okay?” he breathed against Derek’s lips, spreading his thighs and rocking his hips to slide their dicks together.

“Yes,” Derek hissed, sucking his lip between his teeth and biting at it. His hands went to Stiles’ hips and he gripped them tightly, rolling his hips in response to Stiles.

Stiles groaned softly and gripped Derek's hair, tilting Derek's head to the side. Stiles buried his face against Derek's neck, licking and sucking against his pulse point. He rocked his hips and set his teeth against Derek's neck, biting firmly yet gently.

Derek groaned loudly at the bite, his hands squeezing tight on Stiles’ hips, his own jerking upwards. His dick was fully hard and leaking already, making the glide between them slick and hot.

Stiles sucked a dark mark into Derek’s skin, even as it quickly faded and he placed blunt teeth on Derek’s jaw line, giving him another bite. “You know, I could slide right onto your cock and ride you,” he breathed against Derek’s skin. “I’m still wet and open from when you knotted me last night.”

“Shit,” Derek breathed, his hips jerking again, dick pulsing. “What are you doing to me?” He guided Stiles’ lips to his own and kissed him fiercely, grinding their bodies together.

Stiles kissed Derek with a need he’d never had for anyone before as he reached between them to grip Derek’s cock and guided the head to his wet hole. Stiles groaned into the kiss as he rubbed the head of Derek’s cock against his entrance, feeling it catch against the rim before he pressed back and opened up easily to take Derek into himself. Stiles felt full as he seated himself on Derek’s hips, Derek buried deep inside of him. “God, you feel so fucking good inside of me,” he breathed against Derek’s lips, the soreness in his body receding until all Stiles could feel was pleasure.

One of Derek’s hands moved to Stiles’ hole, his fingers ghosting around the stretched rim. “God, Stiles...you… this…” He shook his head and kissed Stiles again, the muscles of his body hard and trembling.

Stiles whimpered into the kiss and breathed in Derek’s scent as he began to move, drawing his hips up and pressing down again to take Derek down to the hilt. His pace was slow and steady, every slide of Derek’s cock into his body pushing him closer to the edge. Stiles panted, resting his forehead against Derek’s, eyes squeezed shut as he focused on the shocks of pleasure coursing through him with every brush against his prostate. “Fuck me,” he begged softly, gripping Derek’s shoulders and digging blunt fingernails into his muscles. “Want you to knot me again.”

Derek groaned, his head slamming back into the pillow. Palming Stiles’ ass in both hands, he pulled his cheeks apart and started thrusting upwards. “Like this?” he panted. “Just holding you, giving you what you need?” Planting his feet on the mattress for more leverage, he rolled his hips up harder, the sweat-slick skin on their bodies slapping together.

Stiles gave a loud, whorish moan as he clutched onto Derek’s shoulders, slamming himself down onto Derek’s cock with each of Derek’s thrusts into him. The pleasure became so overwhelming that Stiles couldn't move anymore and buried his face against Derek’s neck, taking the pounding that Derek was giving him with desperate little sounds falling from his lips. “Oh, fuck, fuck. I’m gonna come,” Stiles breathed on a whimper.

“Do it,” Derek grunted, “I want to feel you, Stiles. Feel you squeezing around my knot.” He fucked into Stiles harder and faster, the headboard thumping rhythmically against the wall, their bodies heaving and sweating.

Stiles was helpless to the pleasure coursing through him with each thrust into his body and he was a whimpering, whining mess above Derek as he clung to him. It only took a handful of thrusts and Derek pounding against his prostate for Stiles to tense above him, groaning loudly and then shuddering as he clenched against Derek’s cock tightly, spasming out his orgasm. Stiles buried his face against Derek’s neck, gripping him tightly as he tried to ground himself. Without thinking, Stiles set his teeth against Derek’s neck and bit down, hard. A rush of warmth filled Stiles’ mouth and he moaned around Derek’s flesh, faintly hearing Derek groan under him. There was a heat gushing up into him and he bit harder as he felt Derek’s knot swell rapidly and lock inside of him. Stiles held Derek in his jaw until he started to come down from his orgasm and turned up to give him a filthy kiss.

Derek whined into Stiles’ mouth, his tongue sweeping across Stiles’ lower lip. His hands continued to knead and squeeze at Stiles’ ass, hips twitching and making little aborted thrusts. “You’re going to kill me,” Derek murmured into Stiles’ mouth, his breath puffing wetly against Stiles’ lips.

“It’ll be a good death,” Stiles replied, a smile forming on his lips as he kissed Derek back. He moaned softly into Derek’s mouth as he felt Derek’s knot pulse inside of him, filling him with more come. Stiles squeezed around Derek, grinding down onto his hips to milk him. “Oh my god,” he panted, nuzzling into Derek’s neck and licking over the already healing wound. Stiles sucked against the mark, wishing he could make it permanent on Derek’s skin.

Derek hummed in agreement, tilting his head. His cock was steadily pulsing inside Stiles, still filling him with come. One of his hands trailed up Stiles’ sweaty back, coming to rest on the back of his neck, where Derek gave a gentle squeeze.

Stiles pressed into Derek’s touch. He nosed along Derek’s jaw line and cheek, smiling at him and watching him quietly when he leaned up enough to look at him. Stiles moved a hand to brush Derek’s hair from his face, letting his fingers trail through it. There were so many things Stiles wanted to say to Derek, so many things he wanted to confess, but he was afraid his feelings wouldn't be reciprocated at that depth. He leaned in and kissed Derek instead, trying to say with his body what he couldn't stay with words for once.

Derek kissed back sweetly, both arms moving to circle Stiles’ waist and hold him close. “This feels nice,” he murmured, practically purring.

“More than nice,” Stiles whispered, running a finger along Derek’s brows and down his nose, then tracing over his lips. A feeling of contentment settled in Stiles’ chest, knowing he had to be looking at Derek with a love in his eyes that he couldn't quite express. “Tell me we never have to give this up…”

Derek smiled softly. “Not if you don’t want to,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Stiles’ mouth. “Not ever.”

“I don't want to ever give this up,” Stiles replied quietly. “Not ever.” There was a tightness in Stiles’ chest as he said the words, voice hopeful. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss against Derek’s lips, breathing in his scent and letting it wash over and comfort him.

***

The two of them had dozed for a short while and when they woke, they quickly realized they were in dire need of a shower. Not to mention the hotel’s bed linens were in dire need of a wash. Derek hoped like hell that the cleaners didn’t think someone had been murdered in here with the blood on the sheets. He made a mental note to rinse them out in the bathroom before housekeeping got in the room.

Tugging a sleepy protesting Stiles into the shower, Derek let the water run warm and moaned with bliss as they stepped in under the spray. He tilted his head under the pounding water and felt it flatten his hair against his scalp, running down his neck. Derek reached his hand up to gently scrub at his skin, the water turning pink as the dried blood sloughed away. One of his fingers brushed over where Stiles had bit him and he startled as a short flash of pain made him hiss. He trailed his fingers over his neck again, his brow wrinkling in confusion at the bumps and welts he felt.

“Stiles,” Derek murmured. “Look at this.”

“Hmm?” Stiles mumbled sleepily, yawning and turning around to look at Derek. “Look at what?” he asked, blinking and rubbing the water from his face.

“Is it just me, or is there a bite mark still on my neck?” Derek asked, incredulous. He couldn’t stop running his fingers over it, despite the slight pain it caused.

Stiles frowned and squinted, leaning in closer to look at Derek’s neck. “What the -” Stiles reached his hand up to run his fingers over the spot Derek was touching. “It looks like it's scarring…”

“I don’t understand,” Derek murmured, tilting his head to let Stiles get a good look.

Stiles ran his fingers over the jagged looking mark, pink and angry with new flesh. “It doesn't look like it’s healing any more. I mean, it’s not bleeding but… it’s definitely scarring.”

“I didn’t think this was possible,” Derek said, his mind whirling. “It’s like you’ve given me a mating bite.”

Stiles’ hand stopped where he was tracing the mark and looked back up to Derek. Stiles looked shocked, but intrigued. “I - um, so what does that mean? That we’re werewolf married?”

“Not exactly,” Derek said. “I mean, you can get actually married along with being mated, or even married without being mated. I just… I didn’t know it was possible for a human to give one to a werewolf.” Derek reached out tentatively and stroked his fingers over the matching mark, freshly healed on Stiles’ neck.

Stiles’ hand moved to cover Derek’s and stroked over his own mark. “Does this happen if you bite anyone that you’re sleeping with or.... um - I mean, you would think it would be something special. If it’s a mate thing.”

“It’s never happened before,” Derek said. He hesitated then went on, “I’ve never bit someone before.” He felt his cheeks flushing with the admission, but he kept meeting Stiles’ eyes, wanting him to see the seriousness in his face.

Stiles’ lips pulled up into a smile and he seemed to relax under Derek’s touch now. “So that’s two things you’ve done with me that you haven't with anyone else. Marking me and knotting me.” Stiles drew his bottom lip between his teeth then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against Derek’s lips. “Do you want a mate?” he asked quietly, almost hesitantly.

“I never thought I’d find one… after everything that happened to me. I never thought I’d get a happy ending.” Derek chest felt tight with emotion. “But yes, I want a mate.” He brought his hand up to cup Stiles’ cheek. “I want you.” Even though he was terrified and this was all happening so fast, in addition to Stiles was still in high school, Derek knew he couldn’t look him in the eyes and lie. His wolf knew it; he knew it. Stiles was what he wanted, what he needed.

Stiles’ smile widened and warmth filled his eyes as he nuzzled against Derek's hand and then reached forward to pull Derek into a gentle kiss. “I don't know the first thing about being a mate, but I'll do the best that I can to be yours. I want you too, Derek.”

Derek clutched Stiles close, the warm wetness of their skin sliding together. “I won’t let you go,” he promised, dragging his hands down Stiles’ back. “We’re in this together.”

Stiles grinned, rubbing his nose against Derek’s and moving a hand to cup the back of Derek’s neck to give it a squeeze. “Together.”

*** 

Derek pulled his car into the parking lot of the Perils of the Lost Jungle mini golf course, taking one of the last spots. Stiles had been bragging about his mini golf skills for the last hundred miles and Derek was fully planning on making him show off.

“You ready to put your money where your mouth is?” Derek asked, grinning. He put the car in park and turned to face Stiles, poking him in the shoulder.

Stiles laughed and opened his eyes, swatting at Derek's hand. “I don't have any money to bet, but I can put other things in my mouth.”

“Oh good lord,” Derek snorted, rolling his eyes. “Let’s not say that in front of the families, ok? I’d prefer not to have your father have to bail us out for public indecency charges.”

“I could be talking about a hot dog for all they know.” Stiles chuckled. “But I'll keep my comments to myself.”

Derek grasped Stiles’ chin in his hand and pulled him in for a kiss. “Let’s go.” They climbed out of the car and bought a full game. Derek rolled his eyes and smiled at the bright pink ball Stiles insisted on picking for himself, before giving Derek a purple one.

Stiles tossed his pink ball in his hand as they walked onto the course. “Hopefully with how bright this is, I won’t lose it this time,” he said as they walked up to the first hole. “I tend to be notoriously bad at losing golf balls.”

“I thought you were the most amazing mini golfer ever?” Derek teased, nudging Stiles’ side. He set down his own ball and teed off, narrowly missing a water hazard and getting to within a few inches of the hole.

Stiles’ eyes narrowed at Derek’s golf ball. “Maybe I am, but that doesn't mean I’m not nervous when I play around other people. And we’ve never played mini golf before. Only Scott knows how awesome I am.”

“I’m sure plenty of people know how awesome you are Stiles. In every way.” Derek watched as Stiles’ face flushed a pretty red and his own chest puffed a bit that he could have that effect on him.

“You’re just trying to win,” Stiles said as he set his ball down and then gently putted it down the green.

“If you ask me, I already have,” Derek murmured into Stiles’ ear, before flicking the lobe gently with his tongue, smirking to himself at Stiles’ squawk. He walked to his ball and putted it in easily.

Stiles was red up to his hairline, splotches across his cheeks and down his neck. “Remember there are children around, Derek.” Stiles tried to putt his ball into the hole and missed. He narrowed his eyes at the ball and tried again, getting it in.

“Hmmm and I thought you were going to be the problem,” Derek said. He waggled his eyebrows at Stiles and moved onto the next hole. They worked through the course fairly quickly, enjoying the unique design and ribbing each other over their technique.

By the time they got to the ziggurat, Stiles was flustered and hadn't gotten a single ball in a hole unless he’d thrown it in there by hand. Stiles seemed worked up and jittery, but it wasn't helping that Derek had been a tease the entire time during the course. Stiles placed his ball down and then wacked it, only for it to go flying up onto the ziggurat and bounced all around until it popped off onto the nearby course and continued to bounce its way into oblivion. Stiles winced and cursed with each pinging sound and bang until it stopped. “Shit. You don't think anyone saw that, do you?” he asked Derek quietly.

Derek felt his lips tugging upwards in a smile and he couldn’t help the snort that fell from his lips. “God, I love you,” he said, the words feeling as natural as breathing. As soon as he said them, he froze, heart pounding.

Stiles’ eyes were still staring off in the distance where his ball had disappeared, but then he looked at Derek and just stared. The flush on his neck became redder and Stiles’ breath and heart quickened. “What?” he asked, voice a whisper.

Derek’s mouth opened and closed. Knowing in his heart what he’d said was true, he cleared his throat and said again, “I love you, Stiles.” As he said it, his stomach squirmed pleasantly, despite the fear and excitement that raced through him.

Stiles turned his body to face Derek and seemed stuck in place as if he couldn't believe what Derek was saying. After a few moments Stiles moved slowly towards Derek, heart pounding in Derek’s ears. “I love you too, Derek,” Stiles breathed.

Unable to stop himself, Derek pulled Stiles close and kissed him deeply, all the feelings passing between them as they touched. After a moment there came a loud whistle behind them. Derek pulled away and saw a group of teenage girls watching them and giggling loudly. Feeling his face heat, Derek grinned sheepishly and tugged Stiles off the course.

Stiles followed Derek through the rest of the course and out to the car, laughing the whole way. When they reached it, Stiles pressed Derek up against it and kissed him again. “Say it again,” he breathed between kisses. “I still can't believe you said it.”

Derek cupped his hands on either side of Stiles’ face, looking into his eyes. “I love you,” he said, before kissing Stiles again. “I really love you.” He had never felt more terrified and exhilarated at the same time, riding the wave of emotions.

Stiles smiled into their kisses, gripping at Derek and holding him close. When they parted again, Stiles was grinning and resting his forehead against Derek’s. “I wasn't sure if I was ever going to hear you say that,” he admitted quietly. “But I’m really glad you did, because I wanted to tell you too.”

“I’m glad I said it too,” Derek said. “No matter what comes next… I needed you to know.” He slid his arms tighter around Stiles’ waist, resting his chin on Stiles’ shoulder and tucking his face into Stiles’ neck.

Stiles’ fingers moved to brush over the mark on Derek’s neck and smiled, placing a kiss on it. “Well, we’re mates, right? I think you’re stuck with me buddy.” Stiles chuckled at that and rubbed his face against Derek’s shoulder with a sigh. “Let’s find some food and a place to crash for the night…”

“Sounds good to me,” Derek whispered, shivering as Stiles’ stubble scraped over his sensitive skin. Lacing their fingers together, he brought their hands up to his mouth and laid a gentle kiss across Stiles’ knuckles. “Let’s go.”

***

Stiles smiled, breathing deeply and nuzzling against the heat at his side. When he blinked awake, he saw Derek there, sleeping quietly. Warmth spread deep in his chest as the memories of the day before and last night came back to him. Derek had told him that he loved him and Stiles just couldn't believe it. He still hadn't been sure he was dreaming or not by the time they’d gotten back to the hotel and his whole body was alight with the fact that Derek loved him. Even when Stiles whispered his love to Derek as they shared each other’s bodies last night, he still thought he was dreaming. But lying here with Derek and holding him close come morning, it was finally starting to sink in. Derek loved him and Stiles loved Derek just as much. If he was being honest with himself, he knew he’d loved Derek long before now, but he never thought he would be able to have him. Stiles smiled and turned his face against Derek’s chest, placing a kiss there, then nuzzled him and closed his eyes.

The firmness of Derek’s body kept him grounded to the moment and Stiles managed not to drift back off to sleep. He smoothed a hand up Derek’s chest and up to his face, cupping his cheek in his hand. The softness of Derek’s beard still surprised him sometimes, but he scratched his fingers through it gently and leaned up to place a kiss on Derek’s lips. “Wake up,” he whispered, rubbing his nose against Derek’s and kissing him again.

Derek huffed a bit against Stiles’ lips then went into a full body stretch and moaned before his eyes opened. He blinked at Stiles sleepily. “Good morning,” he murmured, voice rough.

Stiles couldn't help but snort a small laugh. “Good morning sleepy head.” Stiles loved the way Derek’s voice sounded when he woke and he knew he could quite happily spend the rest of his days hearing it every morning. He pressed a kiss to Derek’s lips and then tucked himself against Derek and yawned.

Derek lifted his head up and eyed the clock. “Looks like I'm not the only sleepy head. Unless you’ve been lying here watching me sleep.” His head dropped back to the pillow and he stroked his hand up and down Stiles’ spine idly.

“I might have been a little bit,” Stiles admitted. “You’re kinda beautiful when you sleep, you know that?” Stiles was feeling a little mushy and he couldn't help it, because Derek-freaking-Hale loved him and they were mates.

Derek’s cheeks pinked, his lips curling up into a sweet smile. “Beautiful?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Stiles turned his face to look at Derek, grinning. “Yeah. Beautiful.” He leaned up to press a kiss against Derek’s lips.

“I’ll take it,” Derek said, his eyes drifting closed again, leaving his face looking peaceful.

Stiles’ face was soft as he watched Derek lay there, moving his hand up to gently trace a finger along Derek’s features before tucking himself back against him. He didn't say anything, just enjoying Derek’s warmth against him and the contentment and peace that settled into his soul. “Summer is ending,” Stiles said quietly.

Derek’s hand came to a stop on Stiles’ back, before coming up to his shoulder and squeezing it. “I know,” he said, softly. “What are you going to do?”

Stiles’ fingers traced against Derek’s chest. “I think I’m ready to go back, if you’re coming with me.”

Derek turned his head on the pillow, his eyes searching Stiles’ face. “Of course I’d be coming with you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Stiles’ lips and the tightness in his chest eased. “Then I’m ready to go back when you are. Together.”

“Together,” Derek echoed. He brought his hand to the back of Stiles’ neck and drew him in for a kiss. “I love you,” he murmured against Stiles’ lips.

“I love you,” Stiles replied with wonder in his voice. He brushed his lips against Derek’s again, drawing him into a tender kiss. Stiles never thought he’d be handed a galaxy when he’d never even expected a planet, but whatever thought he deserved such a love like this, he sent silent thanks to them and pressed himself closer to Derek.