Chapter Text
Pope let himself into the house. It was nighttime and Lena was already asleep. He didn’t like that she was there, but he didn't have much of a choice.
He found Catherine in the living room. She didn't look surprised to see him, or, if she were, she was doing a good job of hiding it.
“Baz around?” He asked.
“No, I thought he was with you.”
Pope shook his head. “Probably out drinking.” He noticed the eyeroll his answer elicited in Cath.
“I can't even say I'm surprised.”
Pope shrugged. He didn't really hold Baz in his heart, but it felt like none of his business.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
Cath froze, hesitating. “Packing.”
“Packing?”
“Just in case I need to make a hot exit with Lena. You never know. It's better to be ready.”
Pope could hardly disagree. Especially considering his reasons for being there tonight.
“You would tell me if I needed to bolt?” Cath was suddenly much closer, encroaching on his personal space, so close she was almost touching him.
It made Pope distracted. He swallowed with difficulty.
“Maybe.” That was all he could give her. Because in other circumstances, if it had been different, he might have told her. But things weren't different, and Pope had a job to do. The dirty work, as always. It was what he had been trained for. What he was made for.
But Cath didn't relent. “Just maybe?” She had a hand on his collarbone now.
Pope shrugged. “I don't know. It depends.” On what exactly, though, he didn't know. He struggled to see how her situation in that instant could change.
She hooked a hand in his shirt and started stirring him towards her, leading him to her bedroom.
He didn't fully understand what was happening, but he figured it would be easier to do it in the bedroom. Quieter. Cleaner.
Cath brought them to the bed and started unbuttoning his shirt. He kissed her to make sure she couldn't see what he was doing and laid a hand on the pillow next to them.
“Mom, I had a bad dream.” Lena whined.
Cath jumped out from under Pope.
“Baby! What are you doing awake?”
“I had a bad dream.” Lena repeated, nervously holding the bottom of her pajama top.
“Oh baby, that's ok.” Cath said, going to her daughter and taking her hand in hers. “Let's get you back to bed.”
Pope stared at the vacant spot where Lena had stood in instants before. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill Cath. He couldn’t kill Lena's mom.
Sure, he wouldn’t really have been sad if anyone had killed his mom. But Cath loved Lena. And Lena loved Cath… He saw Julia at the underpass. What would she have thought of him? First he abandoned her, then he let her die... And now what? Her brother was going to kill his niece's mom?
He was sitting on the edge of the bed when Cath came back from Lena's room.
“You need to disappear.” He declared huskily.
She froze. “You don't have to do this.”
“I'm not gonna do anything.” He told her. “You were packing your bags, now is the time you leave with them.”
She turned around, heading back towards Lena's bedroom. Pope ran after her.
“Without Lena.” He intercepted her.
“I can't leave my daughter behind!” She whispered forcefully.
“You don't understand. You need to be dead. If you're dead, you leave Lena behind. If you're alive, you take her with you.”
Cath stood speechless, the reality of her situation dawning on her.
“I- I can't leave my daughter!”
Pope shrugged awkwardly because he wasn’t sure there was something helpful to say. “You're going to be dead either way. If not by me, someone else. When Smurf wants something, she gets it. She always does. At least this gives you a chance.”
“And what about Lena? She's just a kid.”
“I'll- I'll take care of Lena.” He promised, not fully knowing if it was what he should be doing but saying it anyway and knowing he would follow through.
“Better than Baz?” Cath scoffed.
Pope shot her a look that could have murdered someone on sight. “Who do you take me for?”
“His brother.” At least she was being honest.
“He was adopted.” He retorted.
“Really not the argument you think it is.”
“You've got a better one?”
“If I can disappear on my own, I can disappear with my daughter.”
“Smurf will make sure you'll be hunted down if you do that. And you might get Lena killed on top of it.”
“She… She would kill her son's daughter?” She asked him, bewildered.
Pope shrugged again, but this time because he had no explanation to provide about his mother’s behavior. “Look at what she did to Julia. And she had already gotten rid of one of us before her. She would definitely do it again if it served her.” That he was certain of, there was no doubt in his mind.
“You… you're all insane! I should never have gotten involved! Fuck!”
Pope looked down. “It's too late for that.”
She slapped his chest. He didn't even flinch.
“What doesn't tell me that Lena won't be… killed even if I go away?”
“That's not part of the plan. Baz probably won't let it happen. And I certainly won't. For now she is definitely safer staying here than leaving.”
“For now.” She stressed. “What happens if that changes?”
“I'll protect her.”
“Great. Just great. Her homicidal uncle will protect her.” Cath said, her voice dripping with irony.
This time Pope did flinch. “I… If I have any doubt that something might happen to her, I'll give her to CPS and make sure she gets into a nice family.”
“As if this was something you could decide. This is just… hot air! empty words!”
“It's not.” Well, he hoped it wasn't. But he did have something. He had a secret. Something no one knew about. Something that could save Lena if it ever came to it.
“Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that?”
“I can't tell you. If you don't know you can't talk.”
“You know I never talked? Right? The police tried to make me snitch, but I didn't. I refused.”
This was news to Pope, but he didn't show it. However he was fucking glad he hadn't followed through with the plan. And his hatred for Smurf only grew.
“I still can't risk it. It's already bad enough that I'm telling you I have a plan.”
Cath was stuck in an impossible position. There was no right answer, no right solution. Only terrible choices and she still had to pick one. Affronting Smurf wasn't even an option. Nor was talking to the police because she knew they wouldn't do shit for her. And by the time they would come to their senses it would be too late. And she didn't want to die.
“Fuck!” She was on the verge of tears. “You better protect her. You better do everything you can. Or I'll personally come to kill you, you understand?”
Pope nodded. “You have my word.”
She hit him again, with more force this time. Pope took it.
“I hate you. I hate all of you!” Tears were running down her face as she went back to the leaving room to gather her bags and vanish into the night. She knew if she even stopped by her daughter's room she would never do it. And then what would happen? Could she leave with the death of her daughter on her conscience? With her blood on her hands? No, she couldn't. So she abandoned her baby behind, promising to whoever was willing to listen that she would find a way to get her back.
Pope waited until everything grew completely silent again, and then he waited some more before going to check on Lena. She was sound asleep. He left before Baz came home.
Baz moved heaven and earth to find out what had happened to his wife, even going as far as torturing Pope's old cellmate, Vin. But he found no answer. And he increasingly turned his back on his daughter.
Lena kept asking where her mom had gone. She even asked Pope if something had happened to her, but Pope told her she didn't have to worry about that. It didn’t really make a difference. She did worry. But she also kept living, and she clung to her uncle Pope as hard as she could.
Pope tried to make himself worthy of it, and he honored his promise to Cath. He did everything he could to give Lena stability, to give her what she needed, to help her go through her life. He even temporarily moved in with her because Baz kept ditching her and a seven year old kid shouldn't be left alone for hours on end in an empty house.
So no, Pope couldn't be faulted for not trying.
It was a few months after Cath's disappearance and Pope was headed for the Cody compound, striding through the garden when Smurf emerged from behind the pool house and painfully seized his bicep, digging her pointy fingers into the muscle there.
“Someone saw Catherine.” She whispered into his ear. “Looking pretty alive for a dead woman.”
His blood curdled. He had a million questions he couldn’t ask.
“W-where?”
“Oh don't you worry that tiny head of yours.” She mocked. “She got taken care of. Properly this time.”
“I- I thought-”
“You thought what? You thought that you could hide it from me? Oh you sweet naïve boy.” Smurf cooed before her voice turned cold and dangerous although still barely above a whisper. “This is the last time, you understand? I'm only giving you a pass because there was someone to fix your mistake. But don't forget that you're the last one left and that it can change very rapidly.”
Pope gulped down. The threat was clear. Very clear. He felt the deep urge to rock back and forth but he stayed still. He contracted his muscles and stayed very still.
He nodded. “I understand.”
“Good.” She released his bicep. “Now be a good boy and go play.” She gave him a tap on his bottom.
He hated the condescension and how it made him feel. He was still a child in Smurf's eyes and he would never be anything else.
“Oh,” Smurf called out after him, as if having had an afterthought, but Pope knew better, “don't think I haven't noticed how much you're enjoying playing house.”
This was another threat, just as clear as the other. Lena wasn't off limits. If Pope fucked up, Lena would pay the price of it.
“I'm not playing.” He simply said.
“Keep telling yourself that. But we both know the truth. One day you'll mess up, you always do. And when that day comes, don't come to me to pick up the pieces.”
He rolled his eyes. As if she ever had. He didn't bother gratifying her with an answer and he strode off.
That night, back at Lena's house, after having put her to bed, he found himself facing their situation and knowing he had a choice to make. Well, it wasn't quite true. He had already made the choice. What he needed to do was to devise a plan. A plan to keep Lena safe.
He sat down at the kitchen island, staring at a drawing Lena had made and which hung on the fridge, and he went through their last few months together, starting from the night of his promises to Cath, until he heard Smurf's most recent words again. He knew this was the best for Lena.
By the end of the night, he had a plan. If he played his cards right, he could pull it off. And he had to. The stakes were too important for him to mess it up.
Pope lost no time and started enacting his plan, meticulously placing all the dominoes one by one on the map.
Convincing the judge that Baz was unfit to parent hadn't been hard. Cath had always been the one to take care of Lena and since her disappearance, Baz had completely neglected his daughter, frequently forgetting about her, leaving her to her own devices, sometimes not even knowing where she was. Of course, Pope had stepped up, he had promised. And CPS and Smurf were being led to believe that the goal of all this was to transfer custody to Lena's uncle, to him. So that she could have a permanent guardian able to take care of her. After all, he had told Smurf he wasn't playing, hadn't he?
But if everything went according to plan, this wouldn't happen. Because Lena would never be safe so long as she stayed around the Cody family. Even if they protected her, she would just turn into one of them. And Pope didn't want that. And if it turned out Lena didn't want that either, the fate that awaited her could be way worse. It could be Julia's. And Pope wouldn't have that. No.
So he was going to play the only ace up his sleeve that he had and pray that it would work. Otherwise, all he could do was spin the Russian roulette that was the foster care system, and that could turn out to be worse than Lena staying with the family. And Pope didn't like the odds of that. So his plan better work or he didn't know what he would do.
One fateful morning, Pope dropped Lena off to school. He gave her a pep talk about the kids bullying her but he knew she wasn't like him or any of the Codys. It was a good thing, really, but she was still suffering. And he needed to protect her.
He watched her drag her bag to the school gates with a pinch in his heart and he drove off once she was safely inside.
He headed towards the sea front where he parked somewhere quiet and out of the way, somewhere he knew he wouldn't be disturbed.
He grabbed his wallet and took Julia's picture out of it. Then he rummaged around in the glove box for a second before getting a toy flashlight out. He clicked the button and violet light flashed in front of his eyes. He directed it at the back of Julia's picture which revealed a phone number. It was Jack's. His only secret.
He had seen him by accident some years ago. He had been scouting for a job in San Diego and he had seen him outside a big hotel. There had been a big sign advertising a medical conference.
He hadn't been able to help himself. He had gone in, discreetly. He had looked at the list of speakers and there had only been one Jack. Jack Abbot. Representing the Pittsburgh Trauma and Medical Center. There to talk about how field techniques could have their place in a hospital setting in the context of emergency medicine and extraordinary situations.
He remembered thinking maybe it wasn't him. Maybe it was another Jack. There hadn't been a picture next to his name. Andrew had had to check for himself to make sure.
It was stupid and dangerous but he hadn't been able to make himself leave. He had stayed, trying to make himself unseen. He had garnered odd looks here and there, but he hadn't been disruptive or anything of the sort, so people had left him alone. And he had been able to attend Jack Abbot's talk.
He had hung around the back, in the shadows, where the lights were dim enough that he hadn't worried too much about being spotted.
He hadn't been able to listen to a single word. He had stared at his twin. He had wondered if it had been how people had felt after seeing Christ again, after he had resuscitated.
Jack had been there. Just in front of him.
Andreeeeeew!
“Standard of care is important, but in certain situations…”
Noooooo! Nooooooo!
“And here we can see that…”
Andreeeeew! Noooooo!
“But if we address…”
Noooooooooo!
“I sincerely believe…”
Noooooooooo!
Andrew had left. He had exited the conference center and he had thrown up in a back alley.
It had taken him a moment to pull himself together and finish the scouting job he had been there for in the first place. But he had seen him again, right before leaving San Diego to go back to Oceanside.
Jack had been exiting a restaurant relatively late at night. Except this time he hadn't been alone. He had been with this tall, gangly man, with soft brown hair and equally soft brown eyes that sparkled in the low glow of the streetlights.
Andrew had watched as the tall man had bent down, kissing Jack with a smile.
Jack had laughed into it.
“You know we're not teenagers anymore, right?”
“It certainly feels like it sometimes.” The man had said, gently swaying Jack on his feet.
“Robby…” Jack had shaken his head, but his eyes were fond.
“Come on, let us enjoy this. I mean, we just got engaged, isn't that prime time to be allowed to act like teenagers?”
“Yeah, right, as if we had any idea on when we'll be able to actually get married for real, hm?”
“I don't know, but it will happen. And in the meantime, it won't prevent me from loving you.”
Jack had huffed, but he had gone on his tiptoes to kiss his fiancé, Robby. “You know I love you too.”
Robby's face had illuminated with a smile and Andrew had thought he looked nice. He looked like the kind of guy you would want your child to be married to. Like the kind of guy who would be delighted to have 1.9 kids, a golden retriever and maybe a cat and who would send tasteful holiday cards to his extended family.
Andrew had left without making himself known. At least Jack seemed to have been able to find a good life. It was all he could have wished for despite the permanent ache caused by his absence.
Pope had decided to leave it alone. Jack didn't need the mess that was his biological family, and Pope had no right to ruin his happiness. But he hadn't been able to refrain from digging a little more.
He had found his fiancé's name. Michael Robinavitch or ‘Robby’. He had seen a press video of him after Katrina, in New Orleans. He was a doctor too. And they both seemed to be working in Pittsburgh now. There was an article talking about Jack's involvement with the street team there and another one about Robby backing up a nurses’ strike. It confirmed the info Pope had found at the medical conference.
After that, it hadn't been too hard to find Jack's number, just in case. At first he had memorized it. And then he had worried about forgetting it. He couldn’t fathom forgetting it. So he had bought that stupid spy toy kit and he had inscribed the number in a safe place with invisible ink. And he had stopped there. He hadn't tried to call, hadn't tried to reach out. It was enough to have his number, to have this secret.
He had never told anyone about having seen him. If Julia had still been alive he would have told her by now. But she wasn't. So he had kept it buried within him.
But now he had to use it. It wasn't for him. It was for Lena, to give her a chance. This was the only piece of his plan that he wasn’t too sure of. The only one that truly risked backfiring in his face. If that failed, then he only had two options left. The first one was to disappear with Lena after the adoption went through. But this wasn’t his favorite option. It meant instability, fear, running… Not a good environment to raise a child in. The second one was to surrender Lena to CPS and hope they would find a good family for her. But here again, it wasn’t without risks. He had done a stint in foster care, and while it hadn’t been as bad as staying with Smurf, it really hadn’t been good either.
He took a few deep breaths, emptying his mind. This wasn’t about him. He had to stay focused on his goal: Lena. Only Lena mattered. Everything else was irrelevant. He dialed the number and hit call.
It rang several times until a tired voice picked up.
“Jack Abbot. Who am I talking to?”
His heart was beating hard in his chest.
“It's… It's Andrew.”
“Andrew…?”
“Andrew Cody.”
Pope heard a distinctive disgruntled noise on the other end of the line and he panicked.
“Please don't hang up, it's not about me!”
“How did you get my number? No, forget that, I don't even wanna know. Why are you calling me if it’s not about you?”
“The mother of my seven year-old niece died, she needs a home.”
“There is such a thing as Child Protective Services, if memory serves.” Jack grunted.
“I don’t want her to end up in the system.”
“Then keep her.”
“I can’t. It’s not safe.”
Jack scoffed. “You don’t say.”
Pope ignored the barb. It wasn’t about him.
“Listen, I saw you once. Medical conference in San Diego. I… You were with that guy, tall, gangly, he… he looked nice. He looked like a guy who would have kids. Not… not like me.”
Jack huffed. “You don't know him. You don't even know me.”
Hearing it hurt him more than he wanted to admit.
“It's about Lena. It's not about us.” Pope reiterated. “She’s just a kid. She deserves a chance. She needs a family.”
Jack sighed heavily. “And what’s your big plan? Because I don’t know her from Adam or Eve.”
“But you’re still technically family. And they won’t really have any doubt about it once they see you. I mean, it’s just… physically.”
“Yeah, because let me tell you that we have nothing in common, you and me.”
Pope swallowed with difficulty. His eyes were starting to prick. He ignored it.
“Her father's parental rights have been terminated. He wasn’t taking proper care of her and he wasn’t willing to. So I'm going to petition to adopt her. You'll wait a bit, until legal notice has been given, and then counter-petition. I'll give you all the documents you need. And everyone will believe you did that because you learned through the legal notice that I was set to adopt my niece and you disagreed. The judge will rule in your favor. Your situation is better than mine and I'll… I'll sabotage myself.” He let out painfully.
“You do understand that if I am to do this, this is the end of the road for you? No contact, nothing, not even after she turns eighteen. It's not because I would be going with your plan that I'll owe you anything. Are we clear on this?”
It hurt Pope to say it, but he did. “Yes. I understand. I won't try to reach out. I'll disappear from her life, I… I promise.”
Jack sighed on the other end of the line. “Ok. Fine. Send me the documents, I'll start the process and talk to my husband.”
“Not until-”
“Yeah, yeah, legal notice. I got it. Keep me informed. I’ll text you a PO box address. But I don't want to hear about anything else from you, understood?”
“Yes. It will just be about Lena. I promise.”
“Good.”
The call abruptly disconnected. Andrew exhaled shakily. He laid his head on the wheel and compulsively scratched his arms. His brother hated his guts. That much was clear. And he probably deserved it. But it made his skin itch and it made him want to hit his head, but he didn’t. He kept scratching until the urge passed and until his skin bled. He would have to wear long sleeves for some time, but at least he hadn’t bashed his head. And Jack had said yes. He was going to take Lena in. Pope couldn’t imagine his husband saying no. His eyes had been too soft, too filled with love.
He turned the key into the ignition and drove off. He needed to discreetly mail the necessary documents to Jack.
Jack let his head fall back onto his pillow. He didn't understand what had prompted him to agree to it. He didn't even understand why he hadn't hung up immediately and blocked the number. If there was anyone he never wanted to hear from again it was the Codys. And especially his brother. He hadn’t even known that he was still alive.
He slapped his forearm when he realized he had been scratching it mindlessly. The old scars always itched him when his past was brought up. It was like some sort of psychological reaction. He hated it.
He got up and hopped to the bathroom to splash some cold water on it. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he wondered what he was going to tell Robby.
“Hey, so I probably agreed to adopt the niece of my violent and probably insane twin brother.” He closed his eyes and groaned. Fuck him. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He would be lucky if Robby didn’t threaten to divorce him.
Maybe he could call it off. But she was his niece too, he supposed. He groaned again. She was only a kid. A seven year-old kid. What would happen to her if she stayed with this hellish family? Nothing good.
And fuck, Andrew was right. He hated it but he was. Robby loved kids. He wanted kids. He had always said that it was fine if Jack didn’t. And it wasn’t that Jack did not want kids. It was just that… he was disabled and more easily tired, and they had bonker hours, and… and his childhood had sucked. And he was so scared to be like them deep down. To hurt a kid of his own.
But he knew what Robby would tell him. Robby would tell him it didn’t work like that. He would remind him of his father, who had abandoned him to his maternal grandmother when he had remarried after his mother’s death because his new stepmother did not want to bother with a child from his previous marriage. He would point in John’s direction. John, who was always amazing with kids despite having been neglected and abused as a child. John had literally been conceived to act as medicine for his older brother who had been sick with leukemia, and then had been discarded with barely any concern after his terminally ill brother had died. John, whose parents hadn’t even bothered to come back from fucking Tokyo when he had been brutally stabbed by a patient and lost a kidney to it. John, who had called his brother in tears from a rehab in Atlanta, because he didn’t know who else to call and he was so scared of relapsing if he went back to Chicago alone and where his family lived with all their expectations and messed up views of him. And Robby, who hadn’t hesitated. Robby, who had immediately flown with Jack to see him. Robby, who had stayed behind to make sure John would be ok until it was time for him to come to Pittsburgh.
Because they had taken him in. Of course they had. John was family. John needed help. He needed an out. He needed to be kept safe and away from his fucked up parents. Jack had understood that all too much and he had welcomed him in. And John had never left. Not that Robby or Jack would have wanted him to.
Lena needed all those things too. And now there were three of them. They would manage. They would find a way. They would make it work.
A few days later, when they were all at home together, Jack called a family meeting around the dining table and he told John and Robby what had happened.
“He just called you out of the blue, no warning?” John was bewildered.
“None.” Jack confirmed. “I had just laid in bed after my shift and my phone rang. It was him.”
“How long has it been since you've been in touch?” John asked, he didn't know much about Jack's past, it was a touchy subject and he had been told very little.
“Since they took me away when I was seven. That's the last time I was in contact with him.” He had given his hand to Robby, it was grounding him and helping him ignore the burning sensation in his scarred upper limb.
Robby frowned. “How did he find you? It's not like you kept the same name.”
Jack shrugged. “Apparently he saw us when we went to that medical conference in San Diego. The one I was a speaker at. That's probably how he found out. But I didn't ask. I didn't want to know.”
Robby remembered. It had been very close to Oceanside and although Robby hadn’t been a speaker, he had insisted on coming because it was stressing Jack out to be so close to his birth family.
“And so what's the situation again?” Robby asked.
“The mother of his niece died, her father was declared unfit to parent. Andrew is going to petition to adopt her but he doesn't want that to go through. He wants me to get her.”
“What happens if we don't?” John asked.
Jack shrugged. “I don't know. She either lives with her uncle or goes into the system, I guess.”
John made a face. He wasn’t a fan of the sound of that.
“What do you want?” Robby asked Jack, softly.
Jack didn't answer right away, he let his fingers drum on the wood of the table top. “She is only a kid, barely older than I was when I left. She deserves a chance, you know? But I'm not keeping in touch with them. If we take her in, it's no contact, I was clear about that.”
“But you want to take her in?” Robby checked in.
Jack sighed again. “I'm scared of fucking up. But I'm more scared of what could happen to her if we don't do anything. I think it only depends on what you guys would be ok with.”
Robby squeezed his hand. “You know I've always wanted kids. If you say we adopt her, I'm right behind you.”
John smiled. “Yeah, and we have more than enough room. Besides, I would be a hypocrite if I voted no on that, considering you took me in, no questions asked, and I was already a grown adult.”
“Yeah but we're not going to force you to agree to that if you don't want to. And this isn't a ‘say yes or we kick you out’ situation. We're all in, or we're not going through with it.” Jack made it abundantly clear.
John shook his hands. “No, no, I'm all in. You know I love kids. And I would get to become an uncle? Sign me up. I mean it.” He had a genuine smile on his face. He was not ready to be a father, and maybe he never would, but he was always delighted when he was able to be part of a kid's life and help them.
Jack stilled his hand. “Then I think we should do it. He's going to send me the papers we need soon. I'll get in touch with a lawyer.”
“You should ask Lena.” Robby advised. “Dana told me she found a good lawyer when they had to adopt her wife's cousin's kids that no one but their abusive relatives wanted.”
John concurred with Robby. “She was really pleased with their lawyer. And it's going to be a similar case to yours. Except now gay marriage is legal, so you're going to be holding even more weight.”
Jack had a nervous laugh. Robby and John frowned at him in a perfectly identical manner which did not help Jack and his laughter.
“Sorry.” He calmed himself down. “It's just, her name is Lena. The kid. She is called Lena.”
“It's a sign.” John doubled down. “And if she is anything like our Lena, she'll be a tough cookie.”
“And we absolutely need to tell our Lena, it's going to make her day.” Robby added.
The tension around the table slowly broke and Jack felt better about the whole thing. He had his family behind him.
They received the papers only a couple days later. Jack got in touch with the lawyer Lena had contracted and they waited until the legal notice had gone through to kickstart the process. Their lawyer had agreed to this as it was in the interest of the child's safety, but after that, they followed protocol.
There was paperwork to send to the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, home studies to be done, interviews with social workers, and at last a court hearing.
Technically, even if Jack had been adopted as a child, he was still a relative of Lena, and it was hard to deny it when he looked nearly identical to Andrew except for very small details.
From the get go, it was obvious the judge was favoring Jack and Robby. They were tenured doctors in good standing with society, respectably married, with a solid income. On top of it, they had proven their attachment to family values by welcoming into their home Robby's brother who was also a doctor and who had amply convinced the social worker of his ability to help care for a child. Their house was big enough to accommodate everyone and the three of them had all worked on arranging a suitable bedroom for Lena.
But if all of this hadn't been enough, the Codys’ reputation - although mostly considered hearsay - spoke for themselves. And then, there had been Andrew's behavior in court.
He had come alone and unrepresented, which had been a relief to Jack. Seeing one of them was bad enough, but having to face the rest of the family would have been hell. He wanted nothing to do with those people. And the hearing confirmed it.
Andrew completely lost control of himself at the first sign of the eventuality of Lena going to live with Jack and Robby. Jack knew he had said he would sabotage himself, but this seemed awfully real, and in keeping with what he had been told all his life.
He screamed, insisted Lena's place was with him, not with strangers she didn't know, paced like an animal until he insulted the judge and had to be removed from the courtroom.
It was a close and done case after that. Jack and Robby's petition to adopt Lena was granted and Andrew's was denied. Lena Blackwell would become Lena Abbot and would move to Pittsburgh as soon as the ICPC signed on it.
Pope had perhaps done one of the hardest things of his life that afternoon. He had given reign to his feelings and he had played the part of the unstable individual everybody thought he was. And perhaps that was the truth, he thought. Perhaps he was unstable. It hadn't been a hard part to play after all. But it had been to give Lena a fighting chance, to ensure her safety first and foremost. And it had worked.
Everyone believed Pope had fucked it all on his known. They all made jokes about his complete inability to act normal and no one suspected a thing. Besides, it wasn't hard for him to act crushed. He was. Even if he knew this was for the best, he was hurting.
The worst was Smurf. She had boasted a very satisfied smile when she had learned about the verdict. Pope had done his best to ignore it, to ignore how, to her, this was just another problem sorting itself out. But it all kindled his hatred of her even more. Just as it showed him this had been the right choice. Maybe he had lost Lena forever, but at least she would be safe and get the childhood she deserved.
CPS would be coming to fetch her before handing her over to her new family and Pope needed to talk to her. He needed to try and explain to her why this was necessary. He wanted to be the one telling her. He wanted to be able to say goodbye.
He had brought her to the seafront after school. She had sensed something was wrong and she hadn't uttered a single word during the drive.
Pope parked the car and they walked to a nearby bench. Lena wasn't looking at him. She knew this wasn't going to be a happy talk.
“You're going to have to leave, Lena, to live with a good family. Good people who will take care of you better than we ever could.”
“I can't leave,” she retorted, “I need to stay until mom comes back!”
“She won't come back, I'm sorry.”
“How do you know?”
“She's dead.” He would sooner have told her anything but that, but he needed to protect her. He had promised he would take care of her. And this was for her own good. She needed to understand that she had to leave.
“You're lying! Why are you lying to me?”
Pope didn't answer. And Lena understood it was true.
“Why didn't you do something?” She had started crying.
Pope tried to reach out but she rebuked him.
“I tried. I told her to leave. I told her to disappear so that she could stay alive. It didn’t work.” He bit his lip. “They got to her anyway.”
Lena was sobbing. “I hate you!”
Pope swallowed the lump in his throat. “That's ok, but if you love your mom, you need to leave. I promised her I would make sure to keep you safe. And this is it. This will keep you safe.”
“But I don't want to leave.” Lena cried. “I want to stay with you.”
Pope shook his head, his heart resolutely crushed. “That's not possible. The judge made his decision, and he found it would be better for you to live with Jack and his husband. And he is right. They'll take good care of you. They're doctors. They live in a nice house, and they're good people.”
“I don't care!” She screamed. “I don't know them! And they're not you!” She had gotten up to face him.
Pope didn't know what to say or what to do. He didn't know how to get her to understand this was what was best for her.
“I love you, Lena. I'll always love you. I promise. But this is what has to happen. This is what's going to happen. And I need you to be strong, and do your best. And I promise it will be ok.”
But Lena wasn't ok, and she was still crying, but this time she didn't rebuke him when he reached out to offer comfort.
“Will you come with me?” She asked, sniffling.
“I can't, I'm sorry.” He shook his head. “A social worker will come fetch you. But I'll be there when the time comes.” He would. Even Smurf wouldn't be able to prevent him. She could try, but he would send her to hell. This time he was ready. He hadn't been for Julia, but he was for Lena. “And I'll help you pack everything you want to take with you.”
“I want to take you with me.” She whimpered.
Pope bit his lip. “I know. But I have to stay here. But we could get you a friend?” He offered. “We could find you a new stuffed animal. And you could take it with you.”
“It won't be the same.”
“No, but it will be a reminder of your life here. That way you won't forget, and you'll know we won't forget about you either.”
“You promise you won't forget me?”
“I could never forget you.”
Lena still had her lips trembling but she shot herself at Pope, hugging his waist. Pope put his hand on her back and gave her a squeeze. He would miss her with all his might.
They went to the store on their way home. Lena took her time inspecting all the plushies they had and finally, after having toured the aisles three times, she stopped in front of a display with gray elephants.
“That's the one you want?” Pope asked her.
Lena nodded. “It's like in the documentary we watched together. They're kind, big, strong, they care about all the members of their herd, they protect them and they never forget anything.”
“Yeah, and they know where to go to get help. You remember the one who got injured?”
“Yeah, he went back to the person who had helped him the last time.”
“Yeah. They're very intelligent animals. It's a good choice.” He had even read somewhere that even years after their death, they remembered other elephants who had passed. There was a researcher who had played recordings for them, and they had gathered around it, mourning their lost ones.
“And it will remind me of you.” Lena told him.
Pope choked up and let her pick one of the elephants and bring it herself to the checkout. He paid and they left. She hugged it tight the entire way home.
It was nighttime, a social worker would come in the morning. Lena was sitting on her bed, Pope the Elephant was next to her and they had readied what she was going to bring with her to her new home.
“Do you know them?” She asked him.
“Your new family?”
She nodded.
Pope took some time to think. “I don't really know Robby, Jack's husband. But he looks kind, and his job is to take care of people, to heal them. And I knew Jack, a long long time ago.”
“How long ago?”
Pope shrugged. “Thirty years or something.”
“How did you know him?”
“He was my twin.” Was. Past tense. That seemed fitting with how much Jack seemed to hate him now.
Lena opened her mouth in shock but nothing came out of it. “But…”
“He left a long time ago. When we were kids. I don't really know him anymore. But he is a doctor too. And he cared a lot about others when we were kids. You'll be nice with him, yeah? And with his husband?”
“Only if they're nice to me.” She pouted.
Pope chuckled. “I'll miss you, kiddo.” He dropped a kiss on her head. “Sleep tight.”
“Stay with me!” She had her tiny hand on his wrist. “Please.”
Pope hesitated. It was her last night. After that he would never see her again. He had promised. It was the price to pay for her safety.
“Ok.”
He tucked her in and lay down by her side on top of the covers, her stuffed elephant between them. He told her more stories about elephants, about other animals, facts he had accumulated over the years while watching nature documentaries, until she finally fell asleep.
He watched her, her face at peace, clutching her stuffie in her arms, her head resting against his chest. He committed all of this to memory.
This separation happened without any noise at all. The Blackwell house was deserted except for the two of them when a lady from CPS came early the next morning. Lena's bags were ready and put away in the car in no time at all. She was keeping her elephant with her, holding onto it.
Pope went with her to the car, buckled her in, held his forehead against hers one last time and told her to travel safely. She kept a brave face on and nodded without a word, but her hands were grasping her elephant tight and her eyes were filled with unshed tears.
He closed the door, tapped the car and watched as it left the driveway. He was losing another piece of his soul and he wasn’t sure how many more he had left. If he had any left at all.