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The rest of the night spiraled into nothingness. Even by the next day, it all felt like a blur, and Vienna barely remembered how she got from one moment to the next. All she knew was that at some point she had gotten out of the shower. She had dressed, using the clothes she had sworn to herself she'd never wear. She had collapsed back into bed, the bloodstained sheet pulled to the floor. And she had somehow fallen asleep, body curled tight, wrapped in a thin blanket she'd found in the dresser.
Vienna's exhaustion was so profound that her sleep had been deep, mercifully dreamless. She awoke suddenly the next morning, and for one wonderful, fleeting moment she didn't remember. Then, the piercing, unfamiliar pain between her legs brought everything back. Without meaning to, she let out a miserable whine and pressed her thighs together, even though it hurt. She closed her eyes again, clenching them tightly shut in the hope that she could just fall back asleep. The brief respite of being unconscious, of being blissfully unaware of her hellish situation, was so enticing.
But now that she was awake it was no use: it seemed like each second of the previous evening was playing rapidly through her mind, a supercut of terror: the feeling of the restraints tight around her limbs, the knife cutting through her clothes, his hands, his skin, his breath… she wished with everything in her that it had been a nightmare, that she would wake up safely in her own bed, but the soreness all over her body reminded her it was all too real.
Vienna reluctantly opened her eyes and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was 8:32 in the morning. If she were home right now....what day was it now, even? Saturday?
A lump formed in her throat. It was supposed to be the first day of her summer vacation. She and her cousin Daniela had been looking forward to it for weeks, finally reunited after months apart at school. Zander's hometown was close enough that last year they'd been able to meet up at least a couple times a week and they'd been planning that again, looking up festivals and breakfast spots and hiking trails to meet at. And her parents. As much as she loved Lakewood, she'd been so looking forward to being home with them, falling into their familiar, happy routine.
What had felt so simple just a few days ago now seemed like a beautiful, impossibly far away dream. Could that ever be her life again, after this? She closed her eyes again, not to sleep, but to focus her imagination on the faces and voices of all of her loved ones: her family, her friends, her professors, her classmates....Vienna ran them through her mind over and over, each time giving a prayer she would see them again soon. But every so often, a terrible image of Alec intercut her mental slideshow - sneering above her, laughing at her, hands all over her, his body rocking in rhythm against hers....what was today going to bring?
As if summoned by the thought, a door slammed above her. Vienna shot up immediately - she knew that sound by now. He was coming back down to the basement, back down to her.
Her heart fluttered so rapidly she thought she might be having a heart attack. Footsteps were approaching the door now. She didn't know what to do. Her brain screamed at her to get ready to fight, to hide, to run, but her body didn't seem to get the message. All she could do before Alec entered the room was wrap the thin blanket around her body, covering every inch of herself but her head as she cowered on the bed.
When Alec walked in, just seeing him again made Vienna feel as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She felt unbelievably small and helpless in his presence as he looked her over with a smug grin.
"Well....good morning."
Vienna said nothing, her chest rising and falling heavily as Alec closed the door behind him.
"How did you sleep? Mm? I gotta tell you, I slept like a baby."
He was so casual it sent a chill down her spine. How could he be acting like this after last night? After he'd torn a piece out of her soul and crushed it?
“Then I woke up, remembered you down here waiting for me, and man, it was like Christmas morning. You don’t look as excited to see me, though. Do you?”
Again, Vienna did not answer. He was crazy, this man. He was a psychopath. The more scared she was, the more pleased he seemed to be.
"You know, you're going to have to talk to me eventually."
Alec grabbed a chair from the small table behind the bed and pulled it out, straddling the back so he was facing Vienna. She was forcibly reminded of how he'd straddled her while she was bound to the chair yesterday, and her stomach twisted.
"I wanted to talk this morning, and you'll probably want to as well, because as soon as we're done, we're going to get started."
Get started? What did that mean? Was he going to....not again. Or did he mean...
"Are you going to kill me?" Vienna blurted it out almost without meaning to, clutching the blanket around herself so tightly her nails were digging into her palms. Alec did not reply at first, but a grin started to twist on his face.
"Because if you're going to kill me, just - just do it now and get it over with!" Vienna meant for her voice to be fierce, but it came out shrill and anxious instead. She flushed as Alec fully smiled, seemingly amused.
"I already told you, I have no interest in killing you. What, you don't believe me?"
"Why should I believe anything you say?!"
He watched her with the same amused expression, as if every word was entertainment.
"I haven't lied to you once since you've gotten here, Vienna."
She cringed at the sound of her name coming out of his mouth. He'd said it before, but it felt different today, crude and predatory and wrong.
"Yes, you have! You said you didn't want to hurt me!"
Alec cocked his head like a curious child. "Did I? When did I say that?"
"You -" Her voice died in her throat. She had been so sure that he'd promised it…but when she tried to conjure up the memory, she came up blank.
"Am I supposed to have said that when I told you I was holding you for ransom, too?" Alec sneered. "No - that was all your invention. Desperation is a crazy thing, huh?"
Shame rose hot and fast in Vienna's face. Because she realized - he wasn't wrong. Her fear had been so strong that she'd allowed herself to believe what was clearly not reality. Alec didn't even have to say the words for them to immediately ricochet around her head - foolish, naive, stupid. And now, she was paying for it.
Alec was still talking. "It was nice to have you believe all that, though. It wouldn't have been so fun last night if you really knew what was coming."
Fun. As if it had been a game, light recreation, not the most devastating moment of her life.
"So, I haven't lied. I'm not going to kill you." Alec finished simply.
"Then...then what are you going to do?" Vienna asked in a small voice, hoping against hope that now that he'd have his way with her, he would let her go.
Nothing could have hit worse than the words he spoke next. His tone, smug and satisfied, only made it worse.
"I'm going go keep you."
For a moment, everything disappeared. All that existed was her aching body, his terrifying closeness, and those words floating between them. The walls pressed in as if forcing them all closer together, claustrophobia and nausea rising in Vienna's throat like acid. No. No no no.
A part of her, twisted and guilty, had clung to the hope that maybe once he got what he wanted — money, revenge, something — he’d be done with her. Maybe he’d kill her afterward, and that thought had been terrifying, but at least it had an end.
Now she understood there wasn’t an end. Not unless he decided one.
She was glad to be alive. And horrified that she was still breathing the basement air. Because that meant he was going to keep doing this. Over and over. Until there was nothing left of her.
"And before you ask, I'm going to keep you for a nice long while," Alec was continuing cheerfully. "You're the exact type I wanted - sweet, innocent, healthy. Built to last.”
"You can't!" Vienna burst out, her body shaking all over. She knew she should feel more relieved that he wasn't going to kill her, but in this moment, it seemed like a fate worse than death.
Alec laughed. "Who's stopping me? Hmm? You see anybody breaking this door down to save you?"
Vienna swallowed thickly, her eyes darting to the door, thick and impenetrable as ever. Let someone come... she thought desperately. Anyone....
"No one is coming," Alec said, and she was disturbed by how he seemed to read her mind again. "No one is going to stop this, or stop me from raping you again. And again. Nobody can."
His frank words sent a terrible chill down her spine. Vienna forced her eyes back to him. This couldn't be the way it was going to go. Maybe.…maybe she could talk him out of it.
"Please - my parents. I'm their only child. They need me back. This will kill them!"
Her eyes filled with tears as she acknowledged the reality of what she was saying. She had known, always, that she was her parents' world, that they loved her more than anything. What would happen to them if she really never came home?
"Maybe," Alec said lightly. "That's their problem."
"They'll do anything if you let me go," Vienna pled. "I - we could make it work. I wouldn't tell anyone about last night. I can say that you - that you were nice to me. And they'll give you however much money you want."
"I don't care about money," Alec said with a taunting smirk. "I think you know what I want."
"I..." Vienna groped desperately in her mind for something that would get through to him. "I told you last night. I've only really done that a handful of times. I won't...I won't be good at it. You-you could find someone who w-wants to do it with you."
Alec's grin widened. "Maybe you're still not understanding. Let me make myself clear. Your struggling, screaming, begging last night? That's what I'm interested in."
A full body shiver overtook Vienna at his words. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to suffer. She had never felt so vulnerable or defenseless in her life. She didn't know what to do, and couldn't help but continue to beg.
“Please, you don’t have to do this…”
“I know I don’t have to - I want to do this. I get to do this.”
Vienna didn't know what else to say. She had never heard anyone speak like this before. It seemed like nothing was going to change his mind. She began to breathe heavily, unable to stop the panic overtaking her. Alec seemed to enjoy this, and continued, "I get to keep you. I get to touch you everywhere. I get to tie you up and fuck you however I want. I get to hurt you."
The words hit her like spears of ice. She finally broke down in tears, heaving, full-body sobs.
"I - I ca - I can't!" She wailed. There was no way she could survive this.
"Maybe not. But I can. And I'm going to make you." Alec said pleasantly. She simply wept harder, and he continued, "You know, it took a lot of self control to not to touch you these last few days. I can't tell you how many times I thought about just tearing off your clothes and going at it. We're going to make up for lost time today. And I don't work today, so we have all day to catch up."
Alec smirked in satisfaction as Vienna continued to cry, now rocking on the spot in an effort to soothe herself. He let her go on for a minute, and then said, “Alright, that’s enough. I need you to calm down so you can listen to me.”
Vienna gave no indication that she heard him, his crude words taking up too much space in her brain for anything else. For the first time he began to sound irritated.
“Hey - calm down. Or I’m going to start getting angry, and you aren’t gonna like that. Deep breath.”
Vienna looked up at him fearfully and obeyed, sucking in air and clasping her hands to her mouth.
"Another one. In and out."
Vienna took a shaky breath, forcing herself to swallow her tears. He was right - if he was like this in a good mood, she definitely didn't want to see him get angry. He nodded approvingly.
"Like I said...I didn't lie to you. And all my rules remain the same. You are going to stay clean, well-groomed, and fit for me. You'll have access to food just like the last couple days. I'll be giving you more clothes and bedding, too. You'll have some things to pass the time - the TV, doing my laundry. Maybe if you're good, you can have some books or games or something. But mainly," he smiled, unbearably smug, "you'll be waiting down here for me. Whatever I want. Every day."
Vienna bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying again. Every day felt beyond her comprehension.
"You're going to be good for me. If you want to cry, or beg, or struggle a little - fine. In fact, I'll like that. What you're not going to do, is try to escape, or try to really hurt me. If that happens - well, you know I don't want to kill you, but I’ll have to punish you. And I’ll make sure it hurts. Bad - worse than anything you’ve felt before, believe me."
He let the threat hang in the air a moment, her imagination already running wild. "I'll remind you: you're in the basement of my house, which is soundproof, with multiple locks, with no neighbors around for at least a mile. Trying to escape would just be stupid. Do you understand me?"
A strange buzzing filled Vienna's ears. All her strategizing, calibrating, furious calculating - for nothing. It didn't matter. He didn't care. She wasn't getting out of here unscathed. She forced herself to nod stiffly.
"Use your words."
Alec's voice was dripping with condescension, but there was also an edge of threat to it. Vienna whimpered, "I understand."
"Good. Now…take that blanket off yourself. I want to see you."
Vienna's stomach plummeted. "Wait, I - I have a question." She needed to keep him talking. Anything to prevent what was coming next.
"Alright, make it quick."
"I - um -" Vienna's mind scrambled anxiously. "Wh-where are we?"
"I just told you. My house." Alec arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but - what town?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Do you - do you own the house?"
"Yeah?" Alec said, bemused. She knew he was seeing straight through her.
"Okay...um...how long have you owned it for?"
"Alright, now you're just stalling," Alec sneered. "No more questions. Take the blanket off."
"Please, don't make me," Vienna whimpered, clutching the fabric tighter around herself.
"Would you rather I come and rip it off you?"
Vienna shook her head frantically.
"Then go on."
Desperately wishing that something, someone, would somehow stop this, Vienna pulled the blanket off herself and let it fall to the floor next to the bed. Alec grinned. "That's right....now the shirt."
A despondent mewl escaped Vienna's throat. She wrapped her arms around herself. There was no way....
"Okay then, I"ll do it."
Alec rose and pushed the chair back to the table.
"NO!" Vienna cried "No - I'll do it."
She couldn't believe she was doing it, but Vienna began to lift her shirt over her head. Alec hadn't left a bra for her after cutting through her other one, so her torso was completely bare under the t-shirt. She clutched the fabric to her chest, shaking.
"Drop it. On the floor, with the blanket."
She obeyed, gulping audibly. She could feel Alec's eyes on her and it felt like a violation in itself. There was a pause as he drank in the image of her topless before continuing.
"Very nice. Do you know what's next?"
His eyes glittered with excitement. Vienna was positively trembling now, and shook her head as a sob built in her throat.
"Mmm, I think you do know, baby."
"Please," Vienna's voice was small and strangled sounding as she looked pleadingly up at Alec.
"Yeah, you know. Take your pants off, now."
"I can't," Vienna whined, shrinking under his hungry gaze.
"Alright, fine."
Alec started towards her and Vienna screamed in terror, scrambling away on the mattress. She was afraid that she had made him mad, but as he climbed onto the bed towards her, he didn't look angry - if anything, he looked excited, an eager smile on his face as he reached for her. He grabbed her by the hips and yanked her towards him with an unsettling ease.
Alec took hold of the waistband of her sweatpants and began to tug them down. Vienna wailed in protest and shoved at his hands, trying to pull the pants back up over her exposed skin. They tussled like this for several moments before Alec decided he needed to try another tactic - he straddled her to pin her to the bed and forced each of her wrists into the restraints.
"No, no, stop!"
But he was too strong, too unrepentant, and before she knew it Vienna's wrists and ankles were locked into the restraints again, the sweatpants discarded to the floor.
"That’s it..."
Alec slid atop Vienna's desperately writhing body, panting with exertion.
"Well...here we are again."
Alec looked so excited and eager, greedy and hungry, and it terrified her. A broad smile was on his face as he settled above her, straddling her hips and effectively pinning her down. "This is exactly as I always imagined you. I can't believe I finally get to have you."
Vienna flushed red as he slowly ran his eyes down her body, taking in every inch of her exposed skin. She felt frozen in dread, scrutinized like a bug under a microscope.
Alec continued, “You know, yesterday was great. Don’t get me wrong. I do feel like I rushed it a bit, though. But that’s alright….I’ve got you right where I want you and we have hours. Today, I’m going to take my time.”
Vienna’s look of horror made him smile. “Mmhmm….by the time we’re done today, there’s not going to be an inch of you I haven’t touched. Inside and out.”
Vienna heart was racing so hard she couldn't believe Alec couldn't see it slamming against her chest. Every nerve in her body felt alight in fear and trepidation, knowing that soon he would be touching her again and she had no way to stop him.
Still smiling down at her, Alec said, "Tell me what you're thinking."
"I - I'm scared. I don't want to do this," Vienna whimpered.
"Perfect."
Alec cupped her cheeks in his hands and leaned down to kiss her. Vienna cried out in disgust and turned her face away to avoid his lips, desperately twisting her bound limbs. Alec laughed at her and licked a stripe up the side of her face, causing her to burst into tears.
"Don't touch me!"
"My tongue's gonna be a lot more places than that, Vienna. Remember, I can do anything I want to you."
The thought seemed to give him power, his chest swelling as he dragged his mouth lower.
“Anything I want…” Alec hummed as he kissed all over her neck and chest. Vienna squirmed and squealed as he trailed kisses down her body. “I get - to - do - any - thing - I want - to you.”
He punctuated each word with a disgusting kiss down her torso, approaching the apex of her hips.
“STOP!” Vienna screamed, absolutely panic thrumming through her body. Each place his lips had touch felt burned, skin crawling unbearably.
"Alright, alright....we'll start nice and slow." Alec settled kneeling between her spread thighs so they were face to face again. He reached up and lightly touched her bound hands and wrists. "That's not so bad, is it?"
Vienna’s stomach twisted and she said nothing, still breathing hard from the panic of Alec kissing her.
“Well, if it is, we can just get right to it -" His hand drifted lower.
“No!” Vienna cried, jerking in the restraints. “No, it’s - it’s n-not so bad.”
“Very good.” Alec smiled, tracing his fingers along Vienna’s, making good on his promise of touching each and every part of her. “You wanna be good for me, Vienna, don’t you? You don’t want me to have to hurt you.”
“I’ll be good,” Vienna said quietly.
“Yeah, you will. Tell me you’ll be a good girl.”
“I…I’ll be a good girl,” Vienna practically whispered, her face flushed in humiliation.
“I bet you will,” Alec purred, running his fingers across every nook and cranny of her hands. “Mmm…can you guess what I’m imagining these wrapped around?”
He laughed softly as Vienna grimaced, her hands unconsciously clenching into fists.
“Let me tell you what’s going to happen next. I’m going to ask you some questions. Some I don’t know the answer to already, but some I do - so you’re not going to lie to me. If you do, I will know, and I’ll need to punish you. Understand?”
Vienna nodded meekly, and he continued, “Good. I’ll start with an easy one - tell me your full name.”
“Vienna DeNova.”
“Good. And how old are you, Vienna?”
“I…I’m only twenty,” Vienna whimpered, and Alec smiled wickedly. His light touch moved further down her arms and her entire body shuddered.
“And when did you turn twenty?"
“M-May 1st.”
“Ah, just missed it. Well, next year we'll be able to celebrate it together."
Alec chuckled at the look in Vienna’s eyes. Relief and terror tangled in her chest - relief that he planned to let her live that long, terror that she might still be here in a year.
Time stretched into something unknowable. Vienna tried to answer his endless questions - about her family, her life at college, her friends, every last detail about her sexual history - while his hands slowly roamed her body. When she hesitated — like when he asked for her parent's address — he would press harder, move his touch threateningly closer to the places she least wanted him near.
By the time he seemed to run out of questions, there was only one place on her body he hadn't skimmed his hands over. Vienna trembled from head to toe, but the sensitive valley between her legs seemed to scream with awareness as he settled his gaze there.
"I noticed you bleeding last night." His voice was casual, as if they were discussing the weather. "You look okay now, though."
"I'm not." Her voice wobbled like jelly. "I'm not, please, I can't again."
"Don't tell me you're worn out after one go at it?" Alec smirked, letting one finger trail down where she feared most. She let out a staggering gasp. "Don't worry. I'll get you ready."
As he went further, fingers pressing and flicking and stroking, Vienna found herself wishing for the pain instead. Every nerve was was alight, firing not in agreement but in pure reflex. It felt as if her entire lower body belonged to someone else, hips jerking and twisting, a stranger's hand invading.
He lingered so long she wondered if that was all he had planned, savoring her breathless gasps and cries. But then he stopped. Pulled back, fingers slick. Turned her onto her stomach.
"Wait." Her mouth was dry as he dragged her hips up. "Wait - please."
"Why should I?" His voice was a purr. "I've waited long enough already, Vienna. I've been waiting ever since I saw you in your little volleyball outfit down at Freestone State."
Her heart stuttered. That game had been over a month ago, at least. Had he really been lurking in the shadows of her life that long without her noticing?
“Then I saw it all. College girl. Dorm room. Boyfriend. Coffee dates.” Something like venom began to lace his words. “You were living in a fucking commercial.”
His hands were on her hips. "But not anymore."
"Please. Please don't do this,” Vienna begged as she felt him moving behind her. She couldn't decide if had been worse last night when she had to watch him, or right now when she couldn't tell what was coming next. Her mind whirred, throat closing. “Please, I - I’m just a little girl, I just want to go home and see my mom and dad and -“
Alec cut her off with a sharp laugh and smacked her hip.
“You’re just a little girl, huh? I think I like that. You ready to get raped again, little girl?”
“No!” Vienna said shrilly. “No, please - PLEASE!”
She wailed in pain and terror as she felt Alec began to enter her again. He hummed in satisfaction as she felt an unbearable stretch in her already sore muscles. Vienna's cry turned into an outright scream - she couldn't believe that it hurt even more today, like needles stabbing from the inside.
"STOP, STOP - YOU CAN'T!"
"Mmm, seems like I can."
Vienna broke into frantic, pained sobs as he continued, slower than yesterday but no less agonizing. She begged, she bargained, she prayed, she struggled - and was only met a mixture of moans and laughter.
It was then that she realized her miscalculation: she was trying to appeal to him as if he were human. Like there was some shred of decency buried deep enough to appeal to, some thread of empathy she could tug on if she just said the right thing.
Now she understood - there was nothing in him to reach.
Every plea only seemed to spur him further, like her pain was oxygen feeding the fire. But she still couldn't stop herself, words tripping over each other, begging please and no and stop until they lost meaning.
And the shame of that seared deeper than anything he could have done with his hands.
Because the trap she was in was deeper than the locked door or the restraints. He fed off this. Off her tears, her panic, the way she shrank from his touch. Her fear wasn’t just incidental - it was the point.
Vienna clung to one desperate thought, even as her chest squeezed tight and her tears blurred her vision: If I can just stay alive. Just one more minute. One more hour. Someone will find me. I just have to survive him.
And that thought felt both like a lifeline and like a life sentence.
When he was done, his weight crushed her against the mattress. She weakly flexed her fingers, her toes, the only parts of her she could still move. Proof that she was still there. Surviving.
But his next words made her wish she wasn't.
"All day," Alec breathed against her ear. "That was the first of many. I could do this to you forever."
Against her will, a strangled sound left Vienna's throat. She had been focused on enduring minute to minute. The stretch of the entire day ahead of her felt like eternity.
"Let's get up." His voice was soft. "Clean up a bit. Then I have something to show you."
"Cleaning up" meant Alec wiping her down with a wet wash cloth, purposefully lingering on the places that made her tremble. When he handed the towel to Vienna, telling her with a wolfish grin to clean him, she could have vomited.
She should have known better than to hope for her clothes back. Alec marched Vienna back to the door from the bedroom to the rest of the basement, unlocked it, and began to push her through the doorway.
"No -" A tremor of pure fear ran through her entire body, and she turned, trying to shove against him to get back into the bedroom. Because the larger room in front of her was worse than anything her mind could have conjured up.
In one corner, a huge bed decked out with every manner of restraints.
In the other, a wardrobe, one door open as if on display. There were whips, cuffs, sex toys she couldn't even name.
Attached by a chain to the wall close to them was a collar. A collar. Like a dog would wear.
In the center of the room, a pair of handcuffs hung from the ceiling.
And beyond all of it lay the staircase. A couple of minuscule windows on either side of it, placed strategically so if anyone peered in all they would see were stairs and concrete walls. A sliver of sunlight glittered near the foot of the stairs, practically cruel in its golden light.
Around the room there were rugs carefully strewn about, softening the hard floor. But it didn't make a difference. She knew what this was.
It was a torture chamber.
Alec held her steady, one hand tightly clutching her arm while the other grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at the space.
"It's really something, isn't it? And it's all for you."
Vienna's knees buckled. He chuckled softly, starting to drag her across the room.
"I think we'll start here."
She couldn't move. Couldn't fight. Her veins had turned to ice, her entire body frozen. Alec pulled her arms up, cuffing her wrists above her head so her entire body was stretched out, even more defenseless than before. He moved behind her then, pressed up against her back, skin on skin.
“God, you’re so tiny,” he marveled, cupping his large hands around her waist. “Must be pretty scary to be locked up here with a big guy like me. Especially now that you know I’m big in lots of ways.”
He pressed his crotch up against her, snickering as she let out a fearful whine. She was going to vomit. She was going to pass out.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful not to break you…not too bad, anyway. I didn’t go to all that work just to have you last a short time. I think we have years of fun ahead, little girl, if you keep being this good.”
He let his hands roam her body, enjoying the way she flinched and twitched and whimpered. Her shoulders. Her chest. Her ribs. Her hips. Then….
Vienna's entire body jolted as if she'd been electrocuted, and he laughed.
“Are you going to get this upset every time I touch you here?”
Her mind tried to float up and away, tried to detach the way it had last night - but every cell in her body screamed danger, and if anything she was more alert and hypersensitive than ever. And Alec wouldn't stop. She tried everything - crying, fighting, begging, screaming, cursing, going limp, going silent. It didn't matter. Every hint of desperation or resistance seemed to goad him on.
Hands skimmed back over her ribs, up to her breasts. He whispered crude words into her ear that made her want to burst out of her own skin.
Hands wandered back down, rubbing and pressing while he called her names that seemed to make the air harder to breathe.
And on and on, and back and forth, and in between, as if tormenting her was a compulsion. When he finally stepped back, she should have known better than to be relieved. He'd said they had all day.
The second time he raped her, Alec simply bent Vienna over at the waist where they stood, her shoulders aching as her wrists stayed cuffed on the chain to the ceiling. He alternately slapped her hips and rubbed between her legs, as if experimenting with all the ways her body could tremble and jerk.
The third time he raped her, Alec had Vienna pinned in the middle of the huge bed that occupied the left hand corner of the basement. His whole body pressed to hers and he forced her into painfully intimate direct eye contact as he took his time. “You are mine…mine…mine….” he grunted repeatedly in her face. He seemed to relish studying the microexpressions of pain, humiliation, terror, misery, and helplessness as she had no choice but to look him in the eye as she was assaulted.
The fourth time he raped her, Vienna felt like she had completely lost her mind from the endless abuse. She fought him wildly, screeching and kicking and writhing when he made it evident he intended to rape her once again. Alec only enjoyed the struggle, chasing her all over the bed and forcing her into various positions as she unsuccessfully resisted him, rutting in and out of her with a gleeful violence.
The fifth time he raped her, Vienna felt completely broken, mind, body, and soul. She finally lay limply as Alec leisurely thrust into her from behind, at last losing energy from all his exertion over the last several hours. Vienna cried uselessly into the mattress, her entire body aching and bruised. She began to wonder if he would ever stop raping her, or if she had entered some kind of hellish purgatory of 24/7 abuse with this man who had to be some kind of demon.
But then, almost inexplicably, he did stop. He wasn't on her anymore. In fact, she was on her back again. At some point, she realized her mind must have clouded over, accepting her body's helplessness and protecting it the best way it knew how. Flashes of memory came back to her — too many, more than she wanted — but much of the day was a blur.
Alec was by the bed, pulling his clothes back on. She had become so accustomed to the pain and horror of the day that her mind barely registered the relief at first. He smirked as he saw her eyes tracking him.
"There you are. You went away for a little while, you know."
His shadow seemed to swallow her as he leaned back over her, tugging her legs apart again.
"God, no!" Vienna's voice was an exhausted, strangled scream.
"Shhh....we're almost done. You can go to your room in a minute. Let me just take a look."
Given how exhausted and sore as she was, it didn't take too much mental fortitude not to move, but her body quivered all the same. The feeling between her legs was somewhere between raw agony and utter numbness, and if she let herself focus on it too much panic spiked. Her blood speckled on the sheets.
"That looks painful," he chuckled. "Does it hurt?"
"Y-yes," Vienna replied tremulously. "Please, I can't anymore..."
"I know. We're done today, little girl."
Tears spilled down her cheeks, this time of utter relief. She had survived the day. Despite the hundreds of times she thought she wouldn't.
"Mmm. Have you had enough? Would you like a little break, just a couple of days?"
"Yes, please," she blubbered, not caring how pathetic she sounded.
"I think that's probably a good idea. I want to use you for a long time, can't wear you out too soon," Alec said casually. "I'll leave you alone tomorrow, and then we'll see after that. But listen carefully. Look at me."
Vienna forced herself to look up Alec's face. Something about his eyes was so disturbing - like he was barely human, barely there at all.
"You need to remember my rules. You're going to clean yourself up tonight, and I expect you to keep yourself clean and shaved and your room clean. Otherwise you might not get a room anymore. Is that understood?"
Vienna nodded mutely. Please let me go back in. Please leave me alone.
"Alright then, I'm gonna lock you in. Get up."
Vienna immediately complied, more than ready for him to leave. Her legs almost crumpled beneath her, pain searing, but she forced herself forward back towards the bedroom. Alec noticed. Of course.
"I'm surprised you can even walk after all that. I think you'll hold up just fine." She didn't have to look at him to know he was sneering.
When the door locked behind him and his steps faded away, Vienna thought she had never heard a sweeter sound. The bathroom door was only steps away, but the distance stretched like a mile. She dragged her feet forward. The rote, mechanical part of her brain told her this was the next step. Survive this minute. This hour.
The bathroom light was too bright. Vienna leaned against the counter, staring at her reflection but unable to hold her own gaze for long. Her face was blotchy, her hands shaking. Everything ached in ways she didn’t have words for.
She shifted her weight and winced. The pain shot sharp, unfamiliar, and her breath caught.
Oh God. Something’s wrong. What if I can’t fix it? What if he broke something inside me?
She slid down to sit on the cold tile, hugging her knees despite how it made her sore thighs protest. Panic rose in her chest, hot and choking. She wanted her mom. She wanted a doctor. She wanted anyone to tell her this was survivable.
But somehow, there was no one.
Sparks bloomed in Vienna's vision as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes.
What if they were here?
She hadn't thought about any of them all day. She couldn't. It had seemed too painful, the idea of the world of her loved ones existing alongside this one. But now, for just a moment, she allowed herself to pretend that she could be comforted. That she was home. That she was just sick, or in an accident, not…..this.
Like the time she had a nasty cold on New Year's and had to stay home. Her dad had made her endless cups of her favorite lemon tea, the steam swirling around as cozily as the blanket he wrapped her in, whistling Christmas carols.
She thought about the fierce protectiveness of her mom - while her father comforted her, she was sure her mother would be dragging Alec to the police station herself by the ear, letting Vienna know no one would ever hurt her again.
Her cousin Daniela would be there, too. Mixing together her signature snack of M&Ms and popcorn, turning on their favorite childhood musical. Her heart ached at the thought, the simple innocence of it.
And Zander. She remembered how she'd been so sore from volleyball last year, barely able to lift her arms after a day of serving drills. He'd offered to give her a massage, all earnest confidence until his first attempt made her yelp.
"Oh, okay - ow! You're not kneading dough here!" she'd gasped between giggles.
The next week, he'd tried again, gentler this time, focused, quiet. She'd turned her head back to thank him and stopped short - he had one headphone dangling from his ear, his phone showing a YouTube video titled "How to Give a Back Massage (For Beginners)."
He'd caught her noticing, and for one moment his cheeks flushed pink - until they both broke into laughter, almost falling off the narrow dorm bed in hysterics.
The corners of her lips twitched up, almost reflexively, at the memory. She screwed her eyes shut again, trying to let the warm light of it glow inside her as long as possible. She was cared for. She was loved. No matter how far away it felt.
The mantra rang out once more: Just survive this night. This hour. This minute.
And she knew - this was how.