Work Text:
Dreams, coincidences and bullheaded idiots Or: how Jensen and Jared fell in love. NC17 (1/2)
Author: 
my_specialhell
Artist: candygramme
Beta: winsangel
Pairing/Characters: Jared/Jensen
Genre: RPS
Rating: NC17
Summary: Despite everything…when it happened, Jared was blindsided by it. One moment they were co-stars, friends…who were having their first argument since they had started working together…and a moment later, they were kissing, Jensen’s hands cold and firm on his face, their bodies a cocoon of heat against the cold night surrounding them
Warnings:None
Word count: 10.613~
Link to Fic: here!
Link to Art: soon here!
AN: thank you so much to winsangel, for the amazing beta, for her support and for being the awesome person and friend she is. Thank you to candygramme for the beautiful art and the suggestions and for her support!:)
I
The first time Jared Padalecki saw Jensen Ackles, it was in a dream.
Wait…it gets better. It happened long before they even met for the first time, long before Jared first saw Jensen in Dark Angel.
Jared couldn’t really forget about that dream, about the exhilaration, the wholeness he had felt.
He didn’t forget about the man he had seen, like through a veil; the man with soulful green eyes who, in that dream, that night, had meant the world to him. He hadn’t forgotten the feeling of happiness, of being loved above and beyond everything else, of loving someone more than anything. He had woken up, the morning after, with his heart beating too fast and tears in his eyes.
Jared, of course, kept living his life. He had gone to school, found out that acting was what he wanted to do, studied hard and played sports, tried to come to terms with the fact that he liked men and that at the end of the day it wasn’t anyone business’s but his own and managed to get away from San Antonio as soon as he could. Ironically enough, he followed another dream.
When he saw Jensen in Dark Angel years later he had dreamt about him. He stopped, frozen in his tracks, the remote forgotten in his hands, sudden goosebumps all over his body as he saw on screen the man…the same one he had once dreamt about. The same bright, kind eyes, the same smile that lit up his face. It had been a surreal experience, one that for some reason he had never tried to rationalize or explain away.
So, even if the green eyed man with an old soul and a world of love for him didn’t just live in his dreams but he actually existed, even if he knew his name now, he kept him in the back of his mind as something unique, unattainable...
After all it had been just a dream, a fantasy.
Until he actually met Jensen.
And well…things got complicated.
The first thing Jensen Ackles thought when he met Jared Padalecki was that he was tall, very tall.
The second thing he thought was that an ass like his should have been considered illegal.
The third?
“This kid’s a world of trouble. Run as fast as you can!”
Before they even read together, while they waited to get into a room filled with network people who would judge them in less than five minutes, while Jared and he made small talk, Jensen could hear alarms going off in his head loud and clear about how potentially dangerous that kid could be.
Jared Padalecki had indeed a nice ass, dimples and a killer smile, but Jensen hadn’t missed how firm his handshake had been when they had introduced themselves…nor had he missed the intensity of the man’s eyes.
It was as if that kid could read right through him and see everything, good and bad…and as much as he hated how corny it sounded to his own thoughts, Jensen felt as if they had always known each other.
And it was scary and weird, because Jared was not the kind of man he would usually like! He was too young, too lanky, and too loud, yet he couldn’t stop looking at him. He couldn’t help smiling at his words and feel that connection getting stronger with every passing minute.
When they got into the room and started to read, something happened. It was something Jensen had heard about, something he had been told about by costars and had seen it in movies and tv shows. That perfect synchrony, that instinct…that magic that sometimes happened between actors, he just had never experienced it first hand and he didn’t know, not really, how amazing it could be.
It was as easy as breathing, intense and funny, and even if Jared and he stumbled upon some lines of dialogue it had felt natural, his instinct had taken over – which one Jensen didn’t want to know – and it had been incredible. For a moment they had become Dean and Sam Winchester. All the preparation, the notes and the ideas for his role had flown out of the window the minute he had started acting with Jared, making the core of Dean Winchester crystal clear to Jensen, allowing him to get his character and play with him…and Jared.
They had just clicked and he had known that as far as acting was concerned, he could trust Jared. He knew he would have his back, he would challenge him and, in turn let him do the same.
Later, when they got out of the room and Jared invited him for a beer, babbling something about him being old enough to have one, his mind screamed, “No fucking way! He’s trouble with a capital T”
The rest of him skipped the memo, though. He smiled his brightest smile, still high on adrenaline, shook his hand again, noticing his long fingers, took his number and said, “Sure, man!”
He was fucked…he just didn’t imagine how much.
~*~
After Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki exited the room where they had read for Supernatural, there was a moment of silence; the executives in the room exchanged knowing glances, then someone started, “Well, that was…”
“Intense…” One woman chimed in.
“Fuck me! That was chemistry!”
“They’ll lap it up with a spoon!”
“Gentlemen!” one of the executives said, interrupting the chorus of voices, “We might have a problem!”
Erik Kripke, who had been silent until that moment, couldn’t hide a smile, he cocked an eyebrow and said, “Gee, you think?”
They had that beer, well actually more than one, and there were moments of silence, at times awkward, others charged with something else…
There were moments filled with innuendo and wonder.
Jared didn’t tell Jensen about that dream he once had. Jensen pretended not to notice how Jared looked at him. He did notice, however, how their bodies seemed to gravitate toward each other, how he could feel the other man’s warmth, how it actually felt good when their thighs pressed together.
He did notice Jared’s smile, how his eyes changed color almost on a whim. He did notice all of that and more, things that his mind was very quick to ignore and pretend they weren’t there and focused on one thing only.
He was right: he was fucked.
~*~
He was pleasantly buzzed. Jensen rested his head against the wall behind him, looking around while waiting for Jared to come back with another round of booze.
They had implicitly agreed not to talk about the pilot or about Dean and Sam Winchester and the gazillon pages of exposition they had to learn. They had gotten to know each other and Jensen was confused – a frame of mind he didn’t like to experience. At the beginning he had also been slightly creeped out by the so many coincidences in their lives, but that feeling had soon been replaced by that confusion he was still feeling. He felt like he was sporting a giant question mark above his head.
Also? He would not, under any circumstance, acknowledge his attraction to Jared. That was just not going to happen! It couldn’t…he would not live the cliché. He wasn’t one of those assholes actors who didn’t like to hang out with their costars but he had a rule, one borne out of experience - he didn’t hang out with costars he wanted to fuck.
Because yes, he wanted very much to fuck Jared – the confusion wasn’t about that – he wanted to wipe that mischievous grin out of his face, suck on his tongue, see if his ass was as firm and rock solid as it looked…he could almost taste him…that was how much he wanted to fuck Jared.
The problems were numerous. Number one: he wasn’t exactly single – and he could be a jaded son of a bitch sometimes but he wasn’t that man. Number two…he didn’t want to play some chick’s boyfriend who turned out to be either a jerk or a psycho or a combination of the two for the rest of his career! Playing Dean Winchester could help him not to be type cast as that guy.
All solid, valid arguments, but now his dick and Jared needed to get on with the program!
Oh, and if he wanted to be honest with himself – yes, sometimes it happened - there was another reason as well, one that was making him apparently oblivious to Jared’s constant innuendos; he liked the kid, he genuinely did. He liked Jared’s sense of humor, how sharp his mind was. Jared Padalecki wore his heart on his sleeve and it had been a long time since he had met someone so genuine and not made of hot air in Hollywood.
It was refreshing and scary…it made him want to protect the kid, warn him that he needed to watch his back and grow a thicker skin, because he had once been like him…and it hadn’t been pretty. It infuriated him how much he wanted to protect someone – a giant someone – he had just met because well, it was not him. It was not how he had chosen to live his life. Jared seemed to overthrow all his carefully thought plans, whether related to a character or borne out of experience effortlessly.
Hence; he was trouble. Hence; Jared scared him.
Almost as if his mind had conjured him up Jared came back, smiling brightly and handed him another beer.
Jensen smiled at the younger man and for once he didn’t even pretend to ignore when Jared’s smile grew wider, or how nice his neck looked, fuck all those thoughts! He was on the way to be past buzzed into really drunk, so he couldn’t afford not to be honest to himself…plus there was no harm in watching and enjoying what he was seeing, right?
Besides Jared was drunk, so if push came to shove, he could always pretend he hadn’t spent most of the evening eye fucking his future costar.
~*~
Jared wasn’t that drunk. He knew himself, he knew what happened when he had too much to drink, that he blurted out the most random and embarrassing stuff. He was also a horny drunk, usually, so getting drunk that night had been right on top of his list of things not to do.
He had to admit that in that moment, while Jensen was doing his best impression of an ostrich – and he had to hide a giggle at the idea of a drunken ostrich so, maybe, he was a bit drunker than he thought – the fact that he wasn’t smashed was a blessing.
Nevertheless he knew that his version of subtle flirting pretty much sucked…but there was something about Jensen Ackles that made him irrational, and it wasn’t the fact that he had dreamt him years before he had watched him on TV.
It wasn’t even the fact that acting with him, even during their reading had been exciting and challenging…he had felt goose bumps covering his skin, and tasted adrenaline in the back of his throat, after.
No, it was something else…the subtle looks the older man kept throwing his way, how their thighs had been pressed together for hours that night, and how neither of them had moved. And yet Jensen hadn’t really talked about himself, he had been reserved, self deprecating and sarcastic…but he had listened to him. He had really listened to his words even when he had rambled, listened and been interested in what he had to say.
He wasn’t really disappointed or mad when later at the end of the evening, Jensen gently shot him down. Jensen didn’t say much, but Jared was good at reading between the lines.
Besides he had time…they both did.
II
Later, much later, Jensen would think back at his first days of shooting the pilot of Supernatural and realize that he might have fallen in love with Jared before the end of the first day.
He would think back about that sunny day, about how natural it had been to rely on Jared, to trust him implicitly from the moment David said, “And…action!” and they had begun their first scene together.
He would think back at how easy and natural it was working with a man he barely knew and how at the end of that first day, after hours upon hours spent with him, he had had to ignore that part of him – the one he had no clue about that had needed more…the part that looked forward to the next day.
He was usually very good at denial but his subconscious had very different ideas…
~ Whatever had happened on that bridge, it hadn’t happened to him and he was aware of that. Yet he was the one dreaming about it, just like it was him who, while awake, had been there.
Jensen looked around him; the bridge seemed endless. Spots of amber lights breaking the darkness surrounded him and he could hear his steps, could feel the coolness of the night against his skin, the noise of the water under him.
Someone was there on that bridge. He couldn’t see who it was; he just knew he had to keep walking, even if it was dark…even if he was alone.
Except that he wasn’t really alone and it only took a few steps to realize someone was walking toward him, shrouded by the night. A shadow that prompted Jensen to walk toward it, feeling that he needed to see…to touch. He stopped when the figure in front of him did the same, just outside of reach, still shrouded by the night and waited, waited to see who it was…he felt like he had been waiting for a long time, and it didn’t make sense.
The figure slowly came forward and Jensen wasn’t surprised when he realized it was Jared. He was dressed like Sam, and now he could feel the thin bracelet around his wrist and when he looked down, he realized he was dressed like Dean.
Jared was smiling, his eyes bright and he was close, too close. When and how had it happened?
If it was a dream and Jensen was pretty damn sure it was, why could he feel the warmth coming from Jared’s body? Why was he noticing how his eyes had specks of green and blue and the man’s thighs were rock solid against his?
The questions melted and he let himself go with the flow…it was easier that way.
He had fistfuls of Jared’s jacket in his hands and the man’s lips were the only thing he could focus on.
He knew what was supposed to happen now; he had lived that moment, he remembered it. They had rehearsed the scene, shot it over and over, drunk coffee together between takes, the air between them filled with the anticipation. The people around them and the noises faded until it had been just the two of them, playing Dean and Sam.
They were indeed alone on that bridge in that moment and if words were spoken, they weren’t lines of dialogue.
“…what you want” Jared was saying…or at least that was the only thing Jensen caught of his words.
He must have said something as well, even though he wasn’t even aware he had spoken…or maybe he hadn’t? If that was a dream – then why did it feel so real? Jared might have heard his thoughts.
“and when you stop pretending or hiding, it’ll still be there, you know that” Jared said, his words cutting, even if his face and voice were gentle as he said them.
“Shut up!” Jensen hissed, pressing Jared against the pillar, feeling the hardness of the younger man pressing against his hip.
Close. Too close. And then they moved, as one, and Jared’s lips on his felt real. A shock of excitement that went straight to his cock, Jared’s hands cradling his face, his nails scraping his scalp, his teeth nibbling at his lower lip, were breathtaking.
Their bodies moved on that bridge under a faint spotlight and Jensen could see everything from the outside. He saw how their bodies fit perfectly, how they both moved their hips, seeking friction. He heard the moans coming from his own mouth and the soft pants coming from Jared’s.
He saw more than he wanted to. He felt pleasure coiling at his spine and almost heard the texture of his dream tearing as his orgasm was building, intense and toe curling. He also saw how he looked at Jared, saw the soft smile on Jared’s lips before he rested his forehead against his, how they both closed their eyes at the same time. He saw himself still holding fistfuls of Jared’s jacket in his fists…not to let him go, to keep him closer.
He saw himself happy ...and that? That was the scariest thing. ~
He didn’t even open his eyes in the dark. Jensen took a deep breath, willing the beating of his heart to slow down. He had no idea what time it was but it was dark in his bedroom and he was alone, having used the excuse that he needed some time alone to rehearse his lines. Part of him regretted that decision, even though he still had Jared’s name on his lips…as if the cooling stickiness in his briefs wasn’t enough evidence of his dream.
He stayed in the dark with his eyes closed for what it seemed like hours, images from his dream coming back in flashes as his breath evened out. Eventually he opened his eyes, turned his head and saw that it was almost time to get up. There was another day of filming ahead of him, another day of trying to get under Dean’s skin, to make him tridimensional and likeable, another day of trying to not allow Jared to get under his skin…and when you stop pretending or hiding, it’ll still be there, he knows that.
He snorted and realized he would have to do better than that, a lot better.
Jared was not subtle, Unless one counted a surprise visit to Vancouver while Jensen was still shooting Smallville, being subtle.
Jensen was confused among other things. Also? If Jensen had asked his friends, they’d have told him if he’d only been willing to listen that he sucked at being subtle as well.
~*~
The last thing Jensen expected at the end of a long day of shooting Smallville was to see Jared Padalecki in the parking lot of the studio in a long coat, black scarf and a beanie to protect him from the cold, but also wearing a blinding smile.
“Surprise!” Jared said, resting a hip against the door of Jensen’s car. Jensen slowed his pace, too surprised to do or say anything. After they had wrapped the pilot Jared and he had kept in touch mostly by texts. Jensen had been sure to avoid him whenever he had been in Los Angeles because they soon found out they had friends and acquaintances in common.
“What?” Jensen trailed, shaking his head.
Jared grinned and said, “I’ll explain on the way to the restaurant…let’s get out of here, my ass is freezing!”
Huh? Restaurant? Jensen thought he was supposed to say something but the truth was he was too surprised, and God help him, too happy to see Jared to do anything except smile like an idiot and let the younger man manhandle him into sitting in the passenger seat, once he opened the door.
Hold on the damn phone a moment!
Jensen shook his head. Did he just let Jared manhandle him? Did he just let him drive his car? What the hell?!
“What are you doing here?” Jensen asked, and he didn’t know whether to smile, roll his eyes or cuff Jared behind the head when he smiled. Throwing him an appeasing glance, Jared said, “I was in the neighborhood and decided to drop by…”
Jensen closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t help it so he smiled and was suddenly very much aware of Jared’s eyes on him; he had soon learned to recognize that feeling. He opened his eyes, tilted his head toward Jared and said, “Cool…but don’t expect me to pay for your food, Jared…I’ve seen you eat!”
Jared let out a laugh but didn’t say anything. It was hours later after they had eaten one of the best steaks he’d ever had in Vancouver when Jared asked him whether he could crash on his couch “or something,” swearing he had the purest of intentions.
“Oh, really?” Jensen asked cocking an eyebrow.
Who knew that dimples could be used to seduce? Jared knew how to use his smile and Jensen thought he should have shut up but apparently Jared knew how to push his buttons. Not only that, but apparently he also knew how to move, how to touch him, how to use his voice.
Above all, unlike what he had first thought about him, Jared wasn’t really loud. He always knew what to say and when and it was one of the million reasons why there could never be anything between them, not even sex…except that in that moment, if asked, he couldn’t have named one to save his life.
Jared didn’t reply and the moment seemed to go on forever, time frozen around them. The only thing that moved, that felt alive, was the space between them. The moment was broken when the waiter brought another bottle of wine to their table and Jensen realized that it hadn’t even occurred to either of them to talk about their sexual orientation.
It had been something crystal clear between them from the get go. They had tiptoed around other things while they had shot the pilot episode…well, he had tiptoed, but Jared…not so much. Yet, despite having surprised him with his visit, he was playing coy now. The ball was in his court and something told him that Jared expected him to let him crash and keep playing whatever game they were playing.
Jared proposed a toast filled with innuendo and the smile he gave him before sipping his wine was everything but pure.
This son of a bitch is getting a kick out of it!
Jensen couldn’t help smiling when Jared did and laugh throughout the evening. Jared indeed crashed on his couch despite the fact that he was too tall and too big to fit on the damn thing. The younger man accepted the pillow and the comforter he gave him and their hands lingered for longer than it’d have been deemed acceptable for friends.
Jensen saw himself straddling Jared, his fingers burrowing in the man’s hair, Jared’s hands steadying his hips as their mouths crashed together, he saw it so clearly that he could almost taste Jared. It felt so real for a moment then he had to blink more than once to shake those images away and the jeans he was wearing became even tighter when he saw the knowing look in Jared’s eyes.
Damn, was he a telepath or something?
He felt Jared’s eyes on him as he went to his room, he could feel the warmth and had gotten used to it. It was a feeling that didn’t leave him when was soon wrapped warmly in bed and as his hand trailed down his body, fingertips brushing his taut abdomen, scattering a trail of goose bumps on their wake, his fingers finally wrapped around his already hard length, the warmth surrounded him completely.
Part of him didn’t even want to be careful. Part of him wanted to be heard, wanted Jared to know and hear what effect their little game, one whose rules he didn’t even know, was having on him.
He closed his eyes instead, the cool air coming from the open window brushed against his face, and in Jensen’s mind he was already conjuring up images of Jared while his hips jerked up, trying to follow the rhythm of his hand.
He knew he wouldn’t last long, not with the way he was fucking his tightly closed fist and not when, for a moment, it felt like it was Jared’s hand that was bringing him to his climax with short, unforgiving pulls and twists, not when it felt like it was Jared’s fingers that were playing with his nipples.
He felt his heart drumming faster and faster in his chest and had to bit his lip, drawing blood. When the pleasure erupted hot and heavy when he came, tasting his own blood not to cry out, he honestly couldn’t say whether he’d called Jared’s name.
He was still catching his breath and felt too loose limbed to move and properly clean himself up when he heard it. At first he had thought it had been the wind, or his mind still too sexed up, but then he heard it again, Jared trying to muffle a moan and not quite succeeding.
What have I gotten myself into?
He thought to himself, because whatever game they were playing, the rules were fucked up - and the worst of it was…he kinda loved it.
“And then what happened?” Steve asked, and Jensen was pretty sure his friend was trying hard not to laugh over the phone.
“What do you mean?” He asked, cradling the phone between his shoulder and cheek while he cooked dinner.
“He bought you dinner…wait, scratch that, he came all the way to Vancouver to see you, bought you dinner…kid ain’t subtle, so, did you put out?”
“Oh, fuck you!” Jensen scoffed.
“I’m just sayin’…” Steve said and yes, Jensen had no doubts now that he was trying not laugh.
“Since when do you not want to get laid?” Steve had asked, back while Jensen was shooting the pilot episode with Jared.
Jensen hadn’t told him that it was more complicated than getting laid. He had thought it was just easier to ignore Steve – and his friends – comments. Jared’s visit, though, had thrown him for a loop because yes, Jared had flirted with him and there had been innuendo filled moments, but at the end of the day Jared hadn’t made a move, he hadn’t even tried to. When Jensen had started to think that maybe it was all in his mind, that he might have misinterpreted Jared and the chemistry they had, the man would do or say something that was unmistakable.
Jensen had also realized that he had missed Jared, he had actually been happy to see him, happy to wake up and see him still sleepy and with bed hair in his kitchen.
Jensen sighed and said, “It’s…”
“Complicated” Steve said, interrupting him, “Yeah, I got it the first thousand times you said that…some of them unprompted by the way…”
Jensen could hear Steve playing the guitar in the background, “New song?” he asked..
“Yeah, it’s called, ‘The chicken song…’ you’ve been my muse,” Steve laughed.
Despite himself, Jensen couldn’t help laughing at Steve’s words, “I’m hanging up now, asshole!”
“Do us all a favor, bro…fuck the guy!” Steve said.
“I don’t…” Jensen started, but Steve immediately interrupted him saying, “Yes you do, and you suck at pretending you don’t” Steve let out a snort and said, “Lighten up, buddy, it’s sex! It’s not like he wants to drag you to a pride parade or to the city courthouse to make a honest man outta you.”
Steve hung up, bastard loved to have the last word with him.
Maybe he was right, maybe he was making a mountain out of a molehill…maybe it was just sex and he was overreacting. Maybe working together, day in and day out, having to deal with each other would kill the attraction. Maybe he just needed to get over it and man up.
Two hours later he got the official news that the show would be shot in Vancouver.
Five minutes after that he got a text from Jared. He was happy they’d be holed up in Vancouver.
Will you keep me warm? He had texted him.
He was karma’s bitch, it was official.