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Sae blinks once, then twice, his typically composed face twisting into a bout of confusion.
“What's the occasion?” He walks forward, dropping his work bag to the couch before circling his arms around your waist.
Fairy lights are messily strung across the wall, sticking out amongst the minimal decor of your shared apartment. He can vaguely sniff out the smell of vanilla frosting from the background, itching his nose with the unusual sweetness.
You only giggle at his question, which arouses a muffled grumble in your ear. With a tug at his arm, you realize how firm your husband's hold sits around you, unwilling to let go for even a second. “Just for a moment, Sae.” And he only responds with a stubborn grumble once more before he lets you free.
Frowning, he plops down on the couch, eyes fixed at the buzzing fairy lights peering into his vision. Your footsteps return his attention to you, standing from the cushion and turning back to—
“Oh.”
Sae’s eyes first turn to you, of course, his eyebrows softening at the smile plastered widely on your cheeks. He swears it's the most adorable thing to exist in this cruel world, and his heart trembles right against his chest at the sight. But then, his gaze falters downwards, your hands, and a round silhouette has his breath hitched from his throat.
Thump, thump, thump.
“Happy birthday, Sae.” You almost laugh again, if not for the sudden sight that has you aching. You pause for a moment, wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you, perhaps the light reflecting from the candles— but no, and you quickly set the cake aside to palm at your husband's cheek.
Sae’s lips are pressed in a thin line, brows heavily furrowed like he’s pushing down a gate of rushing tides. And perhaps that's what it is exactly, and despite man as stoic as him, the doors unfurl, and he breaks down into your arms. His arms squeeze you almost suffocatingly, as if he's afraid you'd be swept away with the surging waves, and no noise fills the silence of the air aside the sniffling and shaking that comes from your husband.
“Oh, Sae” Your hands furled gently into his hair, “My dear, Sae. It's okay”
His hiccups grow louder at your gentle whispers, and he burrows his face deeper into your neck.
Ah, is this heaven? Perhaps his time had been up a long time ago, in the late summer where the waves had crashed to his feet. He remembers it as clear as day, that afternoon after another boringly perfect routine. The seagulls had pulled his gaze towards the sky, his feet sinking into the damp sand while he jogged. It felt grounding, cold against his skin, and a reminder that he's alive— only to tumble right into a stranger running his way.
Perhaps it was right then and there, where Sae Itoshi had passed and rebirthed, for he had not known what it meant to live just as Sae Itoshi, ‘some stupid mad-man’, and not some kind of prodigy.
If Sae could go back 3 years to tell his younger self what resulted from that encounter, he's sure he would’ve spouted ‘lukewarm’ with disbelief.
Pulling away from your drenched shoulder, Sae’s eyes shift to yours, somewhat abashed by the vulnerability of it all—but it softens after a moment, knowing that he’s home, he’s here with you, and he is loved— and so, he lets his eyelashes flutter a few more times, permitting the remaining tears to scatter down his cheek. A small smile tilts at your lips, and you keep your hand firm against his, like a silent promise, before taking the plate of cake again and holding it before him.
He can recall the days of his childhood, hunched over some candles and silently praying with his hands clenched together. At that age of the once young and innocent Sae, he might’ve wished for roaring crowds and golden trophies, a stadium to call his name. But now, with the lights humming above the dim kitchen, the slight waft of smoke drifting in the air, and the feel of fuzzy carpet under his socks? Despite being a man of silent ambition, Sae realizes there’s nothing more he could wish for, no ‘higher’ to reach, to fight for, not when you’re here and standing right in front of him.
You watch Sae shut his eyes, breathing out his quiet wish into existence, before he blows out the fire with one quick huff.
“So… Are you gonna tell me what you wished for?” You grin at him.
“Don’t be stupid. It won’t come true if I tell you.” He responds gruffly.
And perhaps it would take you a year or two, maybe a dozen, and fifty more to realize— all he could wish for was you, and maybe an eternity or so. And even then, he thinks it wouldn’t be enough, for forever isn’t a long time when it’s with you.