Chapter Text
When Baltiel had shown up on the Aegean's doorstep six weeks ago, panicked and in shock, he and Senkovi had stayed up for almost two days straight furiously throwing up every security and defense precaution they could think of. With the shuttle gone from Nod, there was no way the thing that had taken their crewmates could get off the planet. But Baltiel had nightmares of the ghosts of Lante and the others somehow hijacking the Aegean, crashing it into Nod, consuming their corpses. He was ridiculously lucky to have gotten out of there himself — or gotten out of there still being himself.
Even when he had finally allowed himself to risk sleep, Baltiel still had the two of them take shifts for a couple days, watching the comms like a hawk. He had slept in the bunk room near Overall Command when he got off shift, completely exhausted. Baltiel couldn't stand the thought of being alone just then, and anyway, he had cleared out his own room in the crew quarters back when he and the others first split off from the mother ship. To Baltiel's surprise, Senkovi made up his own berth in the bunk room for those nights. Maybe he felt the same panic at first.
After a week, Senkovi mostly moved back to his primary abode — somewhere over by the swim tank, apparently. But he maintained a berth in both places, and would sometimes reappear in the bunk room unannounced. Senkovi did seem unsettled, in his own way. Not nearly as much as after the deaths of Han and the others, in which he had been personally involved — Baltiel vividly remembered Senkovi collapsing into his arms, sobbing. But still. Maybe even Senkovi feels the need to be close to someone at a time like this, Baltiel thought.
Baltiel mixed himself a potent mixture of medications to keep from thinking about any of it too hard. Once he had pursued the security project to the limits of its ability to distract him, he focused on reanalyzing everything they thought they had known about life on Nod. The world looked entirely different now, he thought grimly. How had that thing, that parasite, ever evolved? How did life on Nod live side-by-side with such an organism? He thought of the tortoises keeping it cordoned off inside their shells. Baltiel kept his mindset relentlessly scientific to avoid thinking too much about what he himself had seen. This naturalist pursuit was probably meaningless, he knew, but it was something to keep him busy. Certainly he wasn't capable of feeling anything close to Senkovi's level of enthusiasm for the octopodes.
Because that was the thing. When it had been the five of them — the four of them, really, on Nod — he had been able to convince himself it was still a mission. But now that it was just the two of them — and his sole companion was Senkovi — he couldn't maintain that fiction anymore. Senkovi was living in his own world — creating his own world — and Baltiel was living in his. Damascus was a mad project for the benefit of one man, uplifting another species but doing nothing for their own. Baltiel wanted to blame Senkovi, but could he, really? Because perhaps — perhaps for humanity, there was nothing left to do.
Baltiel never got around to moving back into his private quarters, and he knew that had more than a little to do with the occasional nights Senkovi spent in the bunk room when he was over in that part of the ship. Of course, that was completely reasonable, Baltiel thought — it was just the two of them, after all, even if Senkovi did prefer the company of octopi. Baltiel felt a certain sense of relief to be back on the Aegean, close enough to at least attempt to keep Senkovi in check. In the part of him that still felt like Overall Command, Baltiel reasoned it was his duty to keep Senkovi from isolating himself entirely. So Baltiel didn't know why he felt a sense of uncertainty about the whole thing, almost like he should move back into his own quarters. Who the hell was to say what he should do anymore, least of all about something so... benign?
"Alright, boss — how did the octopus go into battle?"
Baltiel jumped and looked up from his bunk to find Senkovi standing in the doorway. Damn, how did he just appear out of nowhere? Baltiel was reminded again how long his hair had gotten while the others had been away from the Aegean.
"Uhh... what?" Baltiel asked.
"Well-armed!" Senkovi broke into a fit of laughter and sat down on his berth across from Baltiel.
Baltiel pursed his lips. "Hilarious, Disra."
"I thought so," Senkovi said with a pout. He abruptly got into bed — apparently he was sleeping here tonight — and turned away from Baltiel.
Then the lights went out. Baltiel blinked in the sudden darkness — okay, Senkovi had turned off the lights with his implant. Baltiel rolled his eyes and went into the system to turn them back on, even just as a matter of principle, only to find that Senkovi had locked him out of that particular control. He gritted his teeth and ran a hand through his dark hair. Whatever. Even if he managed to get around the blockade, that was certainly all the conversation he was going to get out of Senkovi tonight anyway.
Baltiel looked over at him in the darkened room. How many times had Senkovi been here now? Damn, it had already been six weeks since he himself had arrived back on the Aegean. Six weeks since he had... well. Baltiel shuddered. Now that the lights were off, it would be best if he just slept. He turned over and tried to think of something pleasant. And after a few minutes, he did feel himself relaxing. It really was better just having Senkovi here, damn it. He could probably fall asleep now, except... ugh.
Baltiel shifted around and frowned. He hadn't even been thinking that type of pleasant thoughts. A few weeks back, he had almost been surprised when he felt like pleasuring himself again. It just seemed like such an insignificant thing given the circumstances. But it helped manage the tide of negative emotions, and anyway, he desperately needed the distraction these days. It also felt... it sounded crazy, but it felt like it almost had some significance, now? A reminder, despite it all, that he was lucky to be alive, to be feeling things for himself? And it was a hell of a lot easier now, too. It had been hard to get privacy in the habitat — that's why he had found out about the others immediately, although of course he had dutifully feigned ignorance. But here on the Aegean — well, he could never see Senkovi if he wanted to.
Except, of course, that he had made the genius decision not to move back into his own quarters, and now he was suddenly hard for no apparent reason and distinctly did not have the room to himself. Great. Okay, whatever, he thought — he could just hold off, or else... it wasn't as if it would be difficult to find somewhere private. Except... he really didn't want to move, and he also really didn't want to hold this back. Baltiel's frown deepened. Why did he feel so strongly about this? Of course he could jerk off here, hell knows he had done a similar thing back in the habitat... but here it would be stupid, he'd have to keep it down to keep from waking Senkovi—
Baltiel felt a little shudder go through his body, and felt himself get harder. What the hell? He glanced anxiously at Senkovi's bunk. He could make out his form in the faint glow of the comms lights from under the door. Well, it looked like he was sleeping quite soundly... but best to watch him for a bit just to make sure. The loud hum of the equipment would muffle any sound, he reasoned. Baltiel quietly pulled off his shirt. He had taken to sleeping in a comfortable shirt and pants — that's what Senkovi always wore when he came around, and it just felt a little more decent given the other man's penchant for showing up at random.
Baltiel stared at Senkovi for a good half a minute before deciding the coast was clear. But shit, though — why was it that hard to keep from touching himself for those thirty seconds? He had to muffle his groan as he eagerly shoved his dick into his hand.
Fuck, okay, that felt good. Like, really good... like he was actually way closer already than he should be. Oh — shit shit shiiiiittt. With great effort he forced himself to stop and just breathe for a few seconds. After he was confident he wasn't going to come already — what the hell? — he started again slowly. Except, holy shit, why did going slowly feel so hot now? Usually he just kind of got this over with — he enjoyed a good edge of course, but mostly he just wanted to feel the release and move on with things. Good to keep things efficient. Except right now every stroke felt like heaven and he wanted to keep it going and going so he could—
Wait. Ummm. Why was he literally staring at Senkovi?
A whole mess of thoughts and emotions dumped themselves into Baltiel's head all at once. He rolled over onto his back and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, his hand frozen on his dick.
Okay. Okay. Alright, he thought... yeah, sure, he'd felt that way about Senkovi every once in awhile before — but it was all just a fleeting sensation, a momentary pang — just on a physical level of course, because it was Senkovi. And anyway, Baltiel had always preferred to just take care of himself. Of course the occasional thought of something more was to be expected, just since he was out here with practically no one else—
Well, literally no one else, now. Baltiel furrowed his brow. He typically had other, more reasonable, feelings about Senkovi — most prominently a constant low-level sense of dread about whatever he might be cooking up next. So of course this was nothing. Baltiel squeezed his dick nervously and tried to breathe. He hadn't even fully thought about this in awhile — like, shit, what would those thoughts have been, even? Just about how Senkovi... he had a nicer body than you might think at first... well-defined features, and that long light brown hair of his — damn, it had gotten so long now. And he was thin, in contrast to Baltiel's stocky build, and a little shorter than Baltiel, and really that sort of made Baltiel want to just pick him up and— oh—
Baltiel realized he was coming a second too late. Shit, he hadn't even been moving his hand. He jolted partway to his senses — he knew it was too late to stop it — and attacked his dick so desperately in those last few seconds that he really should have been worried about Senkovi hearing. Except he wasn't worrying about that at all, because at that moment his mind was completely overwhelmed with images of Senkovi's long unkempt hair, and his lips forming into a grin, and his naked body and—
Baltiel maintained just enough presence of mind to stay quiet as he came. He used all the pent-up energy he couldn't let out in a moan to roll over on his side and rock back and forth, before turning onto his front and pressing his dick into the bed as hard as he could.
"Mmmmmmph!" he screamed silently into his pillow. Holy fuck...
Okay. Okay. Okay. Baltiel's body relaxed slowly, he let go of his dick — oh shit, he had definitely gotten his cum all over the sheets by rolling over like that — he glanced over at Senkovi to make sure he was still asleep—
Senkovi was lying there completely still. Okay then, all good, thought Baltiel, with a sigh of relief.
Except... not all good, he thought a second later, because... because what the actual fuck was that?