Chapter Text
Roadhog was a one man apocalypse. You could not appeal to the better nature of an apocalypse.
It didn’t have one.
It was an apocalypse.
That did not keep the scrawny idiot before him from trying. “I don’t know who you’re going on about, I swear,” said the scrawny idiot. “Let me go, yeah? I’ve got a family waiting for me. Mom, dad, aunts, a nephew, two cousins, poor sick nan.” He squirmed at the end of Roadhog’s chain like a worm on a hook… or a rat, rather. This one was a rat.
“Junkrat,” said Roadhog, and his prey went very still. “Jamison Fawkes.”
Junkrat’s brow creased. His gaze dropped. Roadhog could see the wheels in there spinning. He didn’t wait for more lies. He didn’t wait for the inevitable stretch of bargaining wherein the doomed swore to countless promises they couldn’t keep. Roadhog hoisted the kid up beneath one arm and headed for his bike.
“Oi!” Junkrat squirmed. He was fantastic at squirming. Rats generally were. Fortunately, Roadhog was strong, and the chain was still wrapped tight. There was no escaping. The kid knew that. He couldn’t not. “Who are you taking me to, huh? Who is it? They’ll double cross ya.”
They wouldn’t. Roadhog was an enforcer - and the people he enforced for, well, they knew better than to double cross him. He would be paid like he was always paid. Promptly.
“I can do ya one better. Let me go and-” Here he was cut off as his breath left him with a pained, “Oof.” Roadhog had tossed him onto his motorcycle, between the seat and the throttle. “I’ll pay you!” Junkrat continued.
There it was. The bargaining. The kid didn’t have any money. He had nothing of worth - not on him anyway. What worth he had, Roadhog was about to cash in on. Roadhog threw a leg over the bike. It sank on its tires a bit with his weight.
“I don’t have any money on me exactly,” Junkrat continued after the briefest of pauses. “But I could pay you later. I’ve got… Well, you seem to know what I’ve got. That’s a tidy sum roight there, eh? Whad’ya say? You hold off on- whatever it is you’re about to do here, and we-”
The roar of the engine drowned out further elaboration from Junkrat. Not that he didn’t try shouting over it. At least the engine made him easier to tune out. Roadhog gave the kickstand a nudge and set off towards his employer’s camp up West. He set off… without Junkrat.
Christ almighty, that little fucker was squirmy! He was still chained. Roadhog cut the engine before he could drag him far. No one was going to thank him for bringing in a dead rat. He heaved a sigh, propped up the bike and followed his chain to Junkrat. The idiot was face down in the dirt. Roadhog gave the chain a sharp tug, flipping him on to his back. Junkrat coughed a bit in the dust that stirred.
“So- So! I was thinking. I think…” Junkrat talked faster than he thought. Roadhog could see those wheels turning again. At least the kid seemed durable. A little scuffed up maybe, but no worse for wear. He gave the chain another pull and kept on pulling, heading back to his bike. If he had to chain Junkrat to the chassis, he would. It was a lot of trouble, but the kid was a big payday. “We should work together!” Junkrat shouted suddenly. “You’re a… You’re a… big strapping lad. You could be the brawn, and I’d be the brains.”
Roadhog snorted at that. He reached down and lifted Junkrat up again. He took more precautions this time. He made sure he had him secured.
“Okay, not the brains.” Junkrat kept talking, because of course he did. “I’ll be the- what do you call it? The ambition! You’re being wasted here, mate. You come with me. You be my bodyguard, and we’ll really stick it to em’. All those omnic lovin’ drongos out there- We’ll show ‘em. We’ll have fun.”
Roadhog wrapped the chain one last time. He paused afterward, long enough to take a look at the desperate, manic smile on Junkrat’s face.
“Fifty-fifty,” Junkrat said, eyes widening when he saw he had Roadhog’s attention.
That got a pause from Roadhog, too. Even in dire situations, people tended to try and haggle, to low ball him. Either that or they would offer him anything, more than anyone would ever hold up their end of when it came down to it. Fifty-fifty was a good number. It cut out the bullshit, and it didn’t insult him either. That wasn’t what made him pause, though. What gave him pause was knowing what the kid had, what he’d stumbled into in the omnium. Did Roadhog want that in the hands of the men he was working for? Not really. Memories of the ALF never strayed far from the back of Roadhog’s mind. They weren’t pushed quite as far back as memories of Mako, of life before… all of this.
Turning Junkrat loose wasn’t an option. Someone else would catch him, and Roadhog wouldn’t get paid for it. So, fifty-fifty and fun? For a bodyguard gig that was sure to be- Roadhog took another long look at Junkrat. Were the ends of his hair on fire?
Challenging. It was going to be challenging. This wasn’t worth it.
“There’s a bomb on your motorcycle,” Junkrat said plainly. He cringed after he said it. “You were hesitating, so I thought I should mention that.”
Roadhog snapped to attention, scanned the kid and noticed a homemade detonator clutched in one of those sneaky little rat hands of his. He must have freed it when he fell. Roadhog would like to say he was confident Junkrat didn’t have any explosives handy for such a stunt. But, if he hadn’t caught the detonator when disarming him earlier… Where was he keeping the explosives? …Never mind. He didn’t want to think about that. “Okay,” said Roadhog.
Junkrat’s eyes lit up. They had an inner fire about them, a certain spark that reached them when he smiled. “Okay?” he repeated. “Partners? Fifty-fifty?”
“Fifty-fifty,” said Roadhog. He didn’t like it, but between the voice in the back of his head nagging him and not being entirely certain he could get Junkrat where they were going without losing his bike or a limb… Roadhog began to remove the chain.
“Smart man!” Before the chains were completely off of him, the kid had wriggled through the last couple of loops and off the bike. He crouched low. For a moment, Roadhog thought he might try to run. Instead, he just put the front of the bike between them. “I already know where we should go first.” He spoke warily at first, gaining confidence the more words he got out of his mouth without Roadhog recapturing him. “I’ve got all sorts of plans. Some places are just two man jobs, ya know? What do ya say we-” Junkrat stopped talking. He looked at the hand Roadhog had extended, palm up. Junkrat looked at the detanator he still held. His smile faltered as he looked from it to Roadhog. “Sure thing, mate.” He forced another smile and handed it over.
The device was small in Roadhog’s great hand. He looked down at it and wondered if it had been a bluff. The way Junkrat held himself now, muscles tensed, ready to run or brace for violence - bluff or not, he was desperate. Roadhog extended his hand again and brought it down on Junkrat’s head. The kid cringed, but Roadhog moved slowly. He let his hand lay heavy against Junkrat’s patchy, matted hair, extinguishing the vestiges of embers still smoldering there. Junkrat eyed him warily but stayed put. Roadhog handed the detonator back and got back onto his bike. “Where to?” he asked,disliking the words even as he spoke them.
If Junkrat had been apprehensive before, that had dissolved now. He clambered up the bike. Using the back of Roadhog’s seat as a momentary foothold, he slung one arm around his new bodyguard’s shoulders and flung the other forward, pointing. “That way.”
Roadhog considered shoving him off but resolved to make a sidecar in the near future instead. He started the bike.
“Wait! Wait! It’s left! We need to go left!” Junkrat shouted over the din of the engine. He paused a moment then tittered with laughter. “You know what, mate? I’m all turned around. Just start driving! I’ll tell you when I see some landmarks!”
This was a mistake. All the same, Roadhog drove.