Work Text:
“I’m back!” Iida called, pushing open the front door to Heights Alliance with his shoulder. Carefully, he shucked off his raincoat, then untied the textbooks he’d strapped to his well-loved Sonic hoodie underneath. “Sorry it took longer than anticipated.”
Ochako rounded the corner with a warm greeting, helpfully utilizing her quirk to lift the textbooks from his grasp while Iida dragged his muddy boots across the welcome mat and stowed them away in his cubby. Jirou and Yaomomo were next to appear, standing behind Ochako and nudging the floating books towards the common room.
“Hey, Iida. Didn’t Tsu go with you?” Ochako asked.
“Hm?” Iida replied, glancing upward, “yes, she- please don’t play volleyball with the textbooks, those are school property!”
“Sorry, Iida,” Jirou laughed.
“Apologies,” Yaomomo murmured, a shade more embarrassed than Jirou yet not nearly as recalcitrant as Iida would have liked, considering she was the class’s vice representative.
“Tsu?” Ochako prompted.
“Oh, yes she was right behind me a moment ago,” Iida said, turning towards the otherwise empty entranceway, “she should be…”
Iida sighed and opened the door to Heights Alliance, quickly spotting the textbooks Tsu had been carrying nicely stacked beneath the awning and Tsu herself lying in a puddle on the grass.
“Asui.”
Muffling her laughter in her shirt sleeve, Ochako began floating in Tsu’s abandoned pile of books one-by-one.
“Five more minutes,” Tsu replied, spreading her arms wide as she was pelted repeatedly with heavy rain.
“No more minutes,” Iida insisted, “you’re going to make yourself sick!”
“Literally part amphibian,” she reminded him, eyes closed.
Iida frowned, crossing his arms imperiously. “Literally against the rules to-”
“There’s hot cocoa inside, Tsu!” Ochako interrupted.
Iida sighed as Tsu gingerly hopped up from the ground, shaking out her hair as she made her way inside to discard her muddy outer layers.
“You should have said that from the beginning, kero.”
Frowning, Iida closed the door behind them and primly adjusted his glasses. “I don’t see how the knowledge of a warm beverage is any more convincing than personal health and UA…policy,” he trailed off, watching Tsu dart towards the kitchen without heeding his admonishment.
“Know your audience,” Ochako laughed, offering Iida a peace sign before she, too, departed towards the kitchen.
Iida moved towards the common room instead to begin organizing the borrowed textbooks by subject and then condition, finding Bakugou splayed out ungainly over one of the couches.
Iida debated telling him to get his bare feet off the cushions before remembering that UA’s gyms had been closed for days due to intense flooding and he wisely decided against it. Better to have feet on the couch than an explosion in his face.
“When the fuck is this rain gonna stop, huh?” Bakugou complained, allowing his head to droop onto the couch’s arm to make eye contact with Midoriya, who was approaching the table with three cups of cocoa balanced in his hands. Midoriya paused when he reached the side of the couch, peering down with affection at Bakugou’s unsmiling face.
“The weatherman said probably not until tomorrow.”
“The weatherman can eat my ass.”
Iida wrinkled his nose.
Midoriya remained unfazed.
“Next time, I’ll learn how to control the weather, Kacchan. For now,” Midoirya said, carefully balancing one of the cups atop Bakugou’s forehead, “this will have to do.”
Bakugou stilled completely, though his frown remained in place.
“Hot cocoa is shit, Deku.”
Midoriya continued to smile, handing one of the cups to Iida, who murmured his thanks. Midoriya kept the last for himself as he settled onto the second common room couch, positioned to maintain eye contact with Bakugou.
“Good thing it’s not hot cocoa.”
Curious, Iida glanced between the pair. His mug held hot cocoa, and it seemed everyone else’s had, too, but it was unlike Midoriya to lie.
Mindful of the mug on his face, Bakugou furrowed his eyebrows slowly. “Eggnog?”
Midoriya bit back a grin as he shook his head. “Try again.”
Then Bakugou’s nose twitched like he was attempting to catch a whiff of whatever Midoriya had prepared for him. “Tea,” he declared confidently.
“What kind?” Midoriya prompted, bringing his own mug to his lips.
“What do I get if I win?”
“Well, you already guessed wrong the first time, so nothing, probably.”
“Bastard,” Bakugou hissed quietly. “I could beat you up for that. Chai.”
“More specific.”
Bakugou slowly released the tension from his face, the mug shifting on his forehead. Out of Bakugou’s line of sight, a tendril of blackwhip awaited cautiously nearby, unneeded as Bakugou grinned victoriously.
“Vanilla chai,” he declared, grabbing the mug from its perch and taking a long sip before waiting for Midoriya’s confirmation.
Midoriya grinned widely. “Ding, ding, ding,” he quietly cheered, “Kacchan’s prize is…a cup of vanilla chai!”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, trying and failing to hide a smirk behind the rim of his mug. “You’re such a fucking dumbass.”
Curiosity sated, Iida checked the time and frowned. “Auxiliary Group Study for Academic Improvement started two minutes ago. Where is everybody?”
Midoriya glanced around the otherwise empty room before turning back to Iida and silently raising his hand.
“Everybody who needs to be here,” Iida corrected, reaching for his phone again when he heard it ping.
minasworld @alienqueeeeen
@thisisiida tragikully a villain ate my homework so I won’t be able to come to your studying for dummies session today 😔
“I’ve said it a million times,” Iida huffed. “It’s not called studying for dummies.”
Bakugou snorted. “Sure it ain’t, prez.”
Iida had halfway typed out his reply when he was struck with an idea. Backspacing quickly, he said, “Bakugou, you’ve been rather restless without access to the gym, yes?”
Bakugou set his mug- noticeable empty- on the table with a hollow clank, leaning towards Iida with newfound interest.
“I’m so fucking bored I could just about murder Deku the next time he blinks.”
“What?” Midoriya asked.
“Perfect,” Iida said. “How would you like a job? The only stipulation is that there can be no serious physical damage to persons or property.”
“Just no serious damage?” Midoriya squeaked.
Bakugou and Iida ignored him.
“I’d need you to retrieve Ashido and some others for the study session. Do we have a deal?”
Bakugou grinned. “Hell fucking yeah we do.”
Satisfied, Iida clicked on the reply button.
“Wonderful. Please begin.”
->iida @thisisiida
womp womp
->iida @thisisiida
I already sent bakugou to retrieve you, by force if necessary
->minasworld @alienqueeeeen
WOAH HEY WHAT???
->iida @thisisiida
academia is important, ashido
An explosion rang out from upstairs, followed by a scream of terror.
“Oh boy,” Midoriya murmured. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Iida?”
Iida carefully rearranged the textbooks in front of him once more.
“I’m raising our class average by at least five percent.”
Denki snorted as he read through Mina’s latest thread, quickly wiping chip dust off on his jacket to type out a reply.
denkss @chargemybolt
->>“academia is important, ashido”
yeah even I know how to spell tragicully 🙄
Denki had known the whole studying for dummies thing would flop as soon as Iida had proposed it, the ridiculously long name causing everyone who needed to go to zone out immediately. Plus, it was raining. Who did schoolwork while it was raining?
Denki hummed to himself as he turned on his computer, ready for an afternoon full of gaming and snacking, when he heard Mina scream.
“The hell?” he said, sitting up straighter in his bed.
Mina’s room was completely across the dorm from Denki’s, wasn’t it?
Bzzt.
Denki warily looked towards his phone.
Bzzt.
“Shit,” he said, hastily unlocking it. “Please tell me I didn’t just fuck up.”
->iida @thisisiida replying to @chargemybolt
@iamthebest
->dynamightrules @iamthebest
on it
“Oh god,” Denki wailed, quickly typing out a reply. “Why did I have to make a joke?”
Maybe they would have left him in peace if he hadn’t opened his stupid mouth!
Or, stupid thumbs, in this case.
Heavy footsteps that could only belong to Bakugou began to approach his bedroom.
->denkss @chargemybolt
WAIT NO GIVE ME 3 CHANCES AT LEAST
Midoriya liked Kaminari’s final tweet, confident that the muffled bang from upstairs was the sound of Kacchan successfully tackling him to the floor. Ashido sat in front of an open textbook on the carpet where Kacchan had deposited her, waving around her left hand to dry the nail polish she’d only halfway completed.
“This is cruel and unusual punishment,” she declared.
Midoriya took a sip of his cocoa.
“This is Auxiliary Group Study for Academic Improvement,” Iida corrected. “Now all we have to do is wait for the rest of the group to…”
“Be captured?” Ashido prompted. “Kidnapped? Murdered?”
In the space between question and answer, ominous thumping rang out from the stairwell.
Iida adjusted his pen.
“Arrive,” he corrected primly.
Ochako was idly tapping her drawing pencil against her lip, a half-empty mug of cocoa on her desk, when her bedroom door was aggressively flung open.
Ochako jumped at the sound, accidentally activating her quirk.
“What are you-?”
“Spell tragically!” Bakugou shouted, aiming an accusing, smoldering finger at her.
Ochako’s pencil floated towards the ceiling.
“What?”
“Now!” he demanded, palm blazing.
Wide-eyed, Ochako recited the spelling, wondering when the hell she’d signed up to be part of a surprise spelling bee and who the hell had allowed Bakugou to run it.
He narrowed his eyes at her while she spoke, then huffed and tore out of her room without another word, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Ochako glanced between the floating pencil and her now-closed door before reaching for her phone.
ocha @uravitysgains
bakugou just barged into my room, demanded that I spell the word tragically, and then stormed back out like an angry spelling bee tornado
->ocha @uravitysgains
I think I would’ve felt less stress if I was being held at gunpoint
Muffled shouting started up through the wall to Ochako's left, just loud enough for her to know that Jirou was being forced to spell mosquito nextdoor and that she was pissed at Bakugou for thinking she needed to join the studying for dummies group. Which…explained Bakugou’s behavior pretty well, honestly. Of course Iida would turn to their resident, caged-up tiger when nobody showed up to his study session.
->dynamightrules @iamthebest replying to @uravitysgains
you’d feel less stress if u washed that mountain of dirty clothes on your floor
The shouting next door grew louder.
->ocha @uravitysgains
I can literally hear you interrogating Jirou how are you replying??
->dynamightrules @iamthebest
skill issue
Ochako rolled her eyes and deactivated her quirk, catching her pencil before it could hit the ground. Nextdoor, Jirou spelled mosquito correctly and Bakugou stomped away, likely to find a new target.
Ochako plugged in her headphones and decided to remain uninvolved.
Shoji looked away from his phone in dismay. Iida’s presentation on what he wanted to cover in his studying for dummies session had been…extensive, to say the least, and Shoji had been certain his B+ average had placed him in the clear.
But no.
Now Bakugou was leading a spelling bee witch hunt.
Shoji would probably be fine, right? He wasn’t stupid.
Then again, he did always rely on autocorrect for certain words…
The bang of the stairwell door echoed like a gunshot, quickly followed by the sound of Bakugou shouting from down the hall.
Shoji quickly crawled out of his nice warm bed and dug out the dusty dictionary he’d shoved beneath it the first week they moved into the dorms. Iida might’ve been the one to give it to him, too, because Shoji certainly didn’t remember packing it himself.
Bakugou’s stomps grew louder before stopping at someone else's door. Shoji felt himself sweatdrop.
But before he cracked open the book, he reached for his phone.
shojiii @justice4gotham
*silently pulls out dictionary* yes this is a regular Tuesday, no foreboding footsteps growing ever closer
Ojiro hadn’t been looking at twitter. He’d been sitting outside on his balcony, enjoying the rain and a warm mug of hot cocoa. The last thing he expected to hear upon walking back into his room was a shriek.
Ojiro quickly abandoned his empty mug on his desk and rushed into the hallway only to stop short outside of Mineta’s room, where Bakugou was physically yanking the small boy out by his ankles.
“No!” Mineta screamed. “Give me another chance!”
“You failed, fucker!” Bakugou shot back, yanking harder.
Mineta gripped the doorframe like a lifeline, clawing away the wood with his fingernails as he cried out for help.
“What kind of fucking dumbass can’t spell pharmaceutical, huh?”
“But-!”
“Go to the fucking study session before I rip your damn head off!” Bakugou shouted, and Ojiro took a fearful step backward, clutching his metaphorical pearls.
“This year’s Sexiest Female Hero Calendar is about to drop! I need this, Bakugou!” Mineta protested, somehow managing to attach a trail of balls to the doorframe just as Bakugou had pried his grip loose.
“You’re struggling this hard for that fucking perv shit?” Bakugou exclaimed incredulously.
“You wouldn’t get it!” Mineta screamed back. “You play for that team!”
“Say that to my fucking face you pathetic, pint-sized-!”
Ojiro firmly closed his bedroom door behind himself, heart pounding wildly in his chest. Then he reached for his phone.
dojiro @bonuslimb
genuinely terrified after watching bakugou drag mineta out of his room like he was being taken to his execution
->dojiro @bonuslimb
@thisisiida why is this ok???
->iida @thisisiida
sanctioned violence for the sake of academic betterment is legal within UA and bakugou was getting restless!
->dojiro @bonuslimb
cool cool cool
Just to be safe, Ojiro twisted the lock on his door handle.
“I heard that, fucker!” Bakugou suddenly shouted, close enough to send Ojiro flailing away from the wood at his back. “As soon as I deliver this deadweight to Glasses, you’re next, Tails. You better study up.”
Ojiro quickly scrolled through his timeline. Ochako had gotten ‘tragically’ but Mineta got ‘pharmaceutical’?
“Shit,” Ojiro hissed.
->dojiro @bonuslimb
@hagaukurerocks do u think my blue light glasses make me look smarter?? time sensitive question 🙏
Sero stared despairingly at his wardrobe- moved strategically to block the door to his room- knowing that it wouldn’t be enough to stop the raging bull that was Bakugou Katsuki on a mission.
Damn that stupid studying for dummies session! Sero should be allowed to remain stupid!
He should…he should make a petition or something! Stick it to the man!
Still, the echo of Mineta’s howling as he was kidnapped three stories down haunted Sero so he went with the next best strategy.
spidersero @stickyboi
@#1AMfan come get ur man he’s scaring the hoes 😭😭
That should work, right? Midoriya was Bakugou’s one and only weakness or something poetic like that. Sero was pretty sure he remembered Ochako talking about it the other day. Something something fated rivals or whatever. As long as it got Sero out of a violent kidnapping, he could care less about the specifics.
->smallmight @#1AMfan
school is important sero! and it’s not heroic to refer to our classmates that way!!
Sero rolled his eyes. Bakugou was literally abducting people against their will right now and that was the hill Midoriya wanted to die on?
The elevator down the hall dinged.
Bakugou took a few steps forward, then the hallway went silent again.
Sero began pacing the length of his room, eyes darting around for anything else he could possibly move in front of the door. His phone buzzed and Sero scrambled to read the message, desperate for the all clear. It was from Midoriya's private account. That was a good sign, right?
->dynamights#1fan @itsahme
but do u really think he could be my man 👀 bc we held pinkies on the train yesterday so I think I might have a shot
Sero cursed under his breath before typing out a rapid reply. Whoever Bakugou had gone to interrogate first must have passed because his stupid ass predator stomps returned to the hallway, louder than before.
->spidersero @stickyboi
BITCH I WAS TALKING ABT MEEE 😭 IM HOES
“Come on, Mido,” he groaned, pulling at his hair. “Help a brother out!”
Sero's doorknob rattled, followed by a heavy
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
“Come out, bastard!” Bakugou shouted.
“Shit,” Sero hissed, rushing toward his balcony window. He was on the fifth floor but he could probably jump for it and then extend a piece of tape back towards the building to-
Sero flinched as an explosion went off at his back, knocking him to his stomach. He coughed at the sudden smoke filling his room.
“Dude,” Sero complained despairingly, turning to find his door handle blown clean off and his wardrobe collapsed sideways on the floor.
Bakugou stalked forward and crouched beside Sero’s prone form to grab hold of his shirt collar, his other hand raised in silent threat.
“Spell promiscuous,” he demanded.
Sero scrabbled against at the grip on his shirt, trying to scoot closer to his balcony to make a desperate run for it.
“Spell what?” Sero gasped.
“Pro-mis-cu-ous,” Bakugou sounded out, smirking meanly. “You should know what that means, you fucking coward.”
“I-“ Sero started, glancing fearfully between the too-distant balcony and the too-close explosive hand. “I don’t-"
“Times up!” Bakugou declared, using his grip on Sero’s collar to begin dragging him towards the hallway.
“Wa-it!” Sero choked. “I know it! It’s P-R-O…um..M- I- S…S-K-“
Bakugou made a buzzer sound.
Sero blanched, making a last ditch effort to cling to his bedroom door.
“Wait, please have mercy!”
Bakugou simply cackled.
dynamightrules @iamthebest replying to @stickyboi
fake ass ho 😒 couldn’t even spell promiscuous
Downstairs, Midoriya chuckled and liked the tweet.
Tokoyami watched the tragedy unveiling on his timeline with groggy eyes, having been woken from his nap by the screaming. He would be lying if he said he wasn't amused by the irony of Ashido and Kaminari's failed spelling but Dark Shadow's anxious hovering over his phone certainly wasn't putting Tokoyami at ease, either.
"You don't know how to spell pharmaceutical," Dark Shadow murmured anxiously.
Tokoyami frowned. "I suspect that word was chosen specially for its target."
Shrugging, he hit New Post.
urworstnightmare @tokoyami&ds
the horrors persist but so do we
An ominous thump echoed from somewhere upstairs, drawing Tokoyami's gaze to the ceiling.
→urworstnightmare @tokoyami&ds
unless bakugou is on ur ass
"Prove yourself," Dark Shadow encouraged. "Then maybe he'll pass us by."
"True," Tokoyami said, already typing out his next tweet around a yawn. "But it can't be something too easy."
"Pick restaurant! Restaurant!"
→urworstnightmare @tokoyami&ds
but it's okay bc i know how to spell restarant
"We're home free!" Dark Shadow cheered.
Tokoyami waited for a reply to come in. Perhaps a congratulations from Iida, even, on passing his heinous test. When nothing came, Tokoyami refreshed his feed, eyes landing on his own latest post.
"Wait," he muttered, rubbing his eyes and sitting up against his pillow.
Did he spell that right?
It looked…off.
The stairwell door one level higher flung open, followed by the telltale sound of a predator's gait descending downward.
"Shit."
"Try again!" Dark Shadow urged. "Try again!"
→urworstnightmare @tokoyami&ds
restaraunt
→urworstnightmare @tokoyami&ds
resturant
Tokoyami's locked doorknob rattled. It was too late to banish the spelling bee demon with sage but Tokoyami reached for it anyway. He could hear Bakugou's keyboard clicking pointedly.
→dynamightrules @iamthebest
perish
Then his bedroom door was blown open.
Kirishima had been pacing in his room for the last ten minutes, listening to doors and bodies being exploded one after the other. He was fifteen items into his 'Hard Words That Bakugou Might Ask For' list when the threat in question poked his head easily into Kirishima's un-barricaded room.
"Shitty Hair-"
Kirishima screamed, flailing his phone in the air.
Bakugou rolled his eyes. Kirishima could see Tokoyami's body on the floor in the hallway, being physically dragged along by the hem of his black snuggie.
"Spell testosterone," Bakugou commanded.
Wide-eyed, Kirishima started poking at his phone keys while maintaining frightened eye contact with Bakugou. Maybe, if he just stayed very still with the exception of his thumbs, Bakugou wouldn't see him.
rockhard @crocsrcool
WAIT NO HELP HOW DO U SPELL TESTOSTIRONE?
Bakugou's phone chimed in his pocket.
"Um," Kirishima said.
Bakugou clicked it open, then started typing. Kirishima waited with bated breath for the reply. Would it be a lifeline? An exemption? A bro's-only loophole?
→dynamightrules @iamthebest
*cocks gun*
Kirishima gulped. He flung out his hand when Bakugou took a menacing step closer. "Wait!"
"You get one more chance Shitty Hair. Go."
Kirishima hopped onto his desk, typing rapidly with one hand. "You can't do this to me, man! Please!"
→rockhard @crocsrcool
LET ME PHONE A FRIEND AT LEAST
"No fucking way. Time's up."
"Um, T! Uh, how did it go again? O?
"E," Tokoyami corrected pitifully from his place on the ground.
→animan @loverboy
we lost another one gang 😔
While Iida was busy shoving Kirishima's head into an English textbook, Ashido slipped her phone out from her pocket under the table. Bakugou had rounded up seven of them so far, Ojiro being the only one who came in willingly, much to Iida's enjoyment and Bakugou's annoyance.
Not that it saved him much. Ojiro was looking at the math book in front of him like he might have actually preferred to be on the receiving end of one of Bakugou's concussive explosions.
Still, Ashido wasn't too concerned with Ojiro at the moment. She was concerned with them.
minasworld @alienqueeeeen
ok but tell me why jirou and mido are perched on the counter with their popcorn watching Blasty round ppl up like a spectator sport 😭😭
Kaminari wrote down his name on one of his seventeen missing assignments and Jirou tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth in reward. Midoriya, on the other hand, fished out his phone and flushed a bright, embarrassed red. He showed the tweet to Jirou, who shot Ashido a wink before opening her own phone.
→soundwave @coolerthanurbf
free entertainment
"What happened to being a girl's girl!" Ashido wailed.
Jirou snorted. "Yeah, that's so not what this is. But I'll throw you popcorn if you're good."
"Keep your pencils moving people!" Iida shouted, circling around the study group like a shark.
Ashido stuck out her tongue at him, but only once his back was turned. She didn't want Iida to come any closer and realize she'd just been drawing squiggles on her assignment page.
She peeked at her phone again when she felt it buzz.
→smallmight @#1AMfan
isn't Kacchan's quirk so cool!! and the way he's able to use it within the dorm to achieve his goals without destroying property is amazing!!!!!
Jirou lightly shoved Midoriya's shoulder where they sat side-by-side on the counter. "Pfft. Nice save, loverboy."
Midoriya sputtered. "Wha-? I-I'm not a…a..."
"Oh?" Jirou pressed. "Not a what, Midoriya?"
Upstairs, another scream rang out, followed by a muffled explosion.
"He's just…very efficient," Midoriya muttered, that absolute simp. "I mean- look at all the people he got to come to the study session! That's- wow, what an achievement! Right?"
Bzzt.
→dojiro @bonuslimb
absolutely wild watching mido have heart eyes while our classmates are screaming bloody murder
Ashido sputtered out a laugh, reaching across the table to high five Ojiro.
"Pencils!" Iida shouted again.
"Alright, alright!" Ashido appeased, slumping onto the table. "Can't believe I'm spending my rainy day like this."
Bakugou dropped a crying Aoyama at Iida's feet and scoffed, settling onto the couch behind her. "It's been raining fucking forever. You've already had your lazy day, and now you're not gonna have a D average. You're fucking welcome."
"C minus," Ashido pouted under her breath.
"See?" Iida interjected brightly. "You're already improving!"
boobitch @hagakurerocks replying to @bonus limb
"absolutely wild watching mido have heart eyes while our classmates are screaming bloody murder"
those psychos rly do deserve each other <3
→dynamightrules @iamthebest
don't think ur getting out of this just bc ur invisible, Casper
"Ooh, someone poked the bear," Ojiro snickered.
Something invisible shoved his shoulder.
"Gotcha," Bakugou said, smiling with all his evil, shiny teeth.
"Run, girl!" Ashido cried. "Save yourself!"
Bakugou shot up from the couch with a bang.
→smallmight @#1AMfan
so thorough!!!
→boobitch @hagakurerocks
FUCK