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Her stomach. It hurt. It hurt so- so- so- so- so- L -why did. . . he didn’t do anything, why- E -my friends, I needed to- O -but killing him, he didn’t- N -it hurts -
He could feel every hit. He could feel bones breaking, flesh impacting. A rib broke. Then another. How long? How long would he have to-
He felt almost nothing. Almost. There was a split second where he could f e e l his skull crack, his flesh tear, his blood drip-
He was hurting, bad. It was too fast- too too too too fast, make it stop make it stop MAKE IT STOP-
He felt something hit his head. He wondered who would hit him, and why. . . hey. something was. dripping? what. . . is it? lift hand up to touch- pink? is it . . . . blood? why. . . blood? who. . . would. . . ? it hurts. it really hurts. he wishes it would stop. he falls face first, and tries not to think about the pain. thinking hurts, too.
pain. it hurt for so long. so, so long. he. . . could see them. there was a grassy field. they were all . . . happy? they wanted him to. . . come to them. he took a step and- plop. wet? on his face? what- he blinked open his eyes, and the field was gone. but the pain remained.
smile. smile. SMILE. you can’t break now. YOU CAN’T BREAK NOW. they’ll remember you forever. that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? you scream in pain through your painted-on smile. you’ve forgotten who you were trying to convince; you suppose it doesn’t matter now. you get run over, and your smile wavers.
oh god, it hurts. you have to be strong. you always have to be strong, but. . . you had a reason this time- asahina. can’t. . . let her know. she’s gone, but not for long. you have to do it now. you drink the poison, and smile. your last thought is that you’re glad you met them, even if it had to end this way.
You laugh, and you laugh, and you laugh. This despair! It’s marvelous! It’s terrible! It’s the most you’ve felt in a long, long time, and even as your bones crunch and your skull splatters, you still laugh.