Chapter Text
Sirius Black had the uncanny ability of looking as if he was seated on the most comfortable and elegant of thrones, even when he was in fact squeezed into a small car seat of a Volkswagen Polo. Having pushed the chair back as far as it could go, forcing Remus to take the seat behind James, his legs were stretched out, his head lolling casually against the headrest as he studied the dark forest surrounding them. From the reflection of the window, James could tell that Sirius looked just as bored as a king might be too, after a long day of nothingness.
'Y'know, I'd much rather you focused on the road, James,' remarked Remus, not looking up from his book.
'Are you worried I might like what I see otherwise?'
'Yeah, that's his concern,' snorted Sirius. 'Not the fact that our lives depend on you keeping the car on the road.'
'Ah come on, lads, I've done a stellar job so far,' grinned James.
For good measure, he wrestled the steering wheel so that the car jerked violently left and right. 'Whoops... Twitchy, this car.'
'What an absolute sack of balls you are.'
This from Sirius. Though it pleased James to see that his best friend seemed far more entertained than he had appeared a few minutes ago.
Remus bent down to pick up his beloved and battered copy of The Return of the King. A book which he was reading for the umpteenth time.
'Have you ever considered branching out?' asked Sirius, without turning around.
'Have you? There's been some interesting development in literature over the last 400 years,' challenged Remus. Not entirely without reason, James supposed.
'We know what we are, but not what we may be,' observed Sirius airily.
'You speak an infinite deal of nothing,' was Remus' reply to this.
James had to suppress a smile. He had once given Remus this line, which seemed to James like the Swiss Army knife of quotes against Sirius. Remus had taken it gladly and used it frequently.
'Do I now?'
'Action, my friend,' James agreed with Remus, and sending a smug look Sirius' way, 'speaks louder than words.'
'We will believe it when we see it,' confirmed Remus.
Sirius turned to James, raising his eyebrows: 'Et tu Brute?'
'Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.'
They held each other's gaze for a moment—hazel meeting stormy grey—before James turned his focus back on the road.
'Hopeless,' muttered Sirius, shaking his head.
'I thought it rather fitting,' grinned James. 'Rome; Remus.'
'I got it the first time, Jim.'
'Then why are you not laughing?'
'I've yet to hear anything that merits laughter.'
'My genius is rebuked.'
'You, a genius,' scoffed Sirius. 'This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard.'
'Quotation is a serviceable subsitute for wit,' muttered Remus, so quietly James couldn't decide whether he'd really meant for them to hear it.
'Notice how your boyfriend can quote more than one author,' observed James lightly, arching his brows at Sirius.
'Anyone can quote Wilde,' dismissed Sirius. 'You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.'
James rolled his eyes. "Anyone" might be able to quote Wilde, but Sirius was never going to go for one of his top three quotes, was he?
'Anyone can quote Shakespeare,' retorted Remus calmly, having buried his head in the book again. 'To be or not to be, that is the question.'
James and Sirius exchanged another look. If there was one quote that best summarised Remus "lets pause to overthink this first" Lupin, it was that line. Even if Remus had no doubt chosen it because it was the only other line from Shakespeare he knew.
They burst out laughing.
'What?' asked Remus, looking up from his book, seemingly bemused.
'Nothing.'
'It's just very you,' James offered as way of explanation.
'Why am I your friend again?'
'Friend, Sirius, you're being downgraded.'
'Downgraded, upgraded, who can tell,' shrugged Sirius.
Glancing at the small SatNav screen, he furrowed his eyebrows: 'I thought Evans said this was meant to be a shortcut.'
'And I remember telling you both that it certainly would not be so,' came Remus' voice.
'She also said it would be scenic, and you have to agree it is.'
'She's not here to hear you defend her, Jim. Drop the act, will you?' snapped Sirius.
James knew why this was getting to Sirius. Truth be told, it bothered him a great deal too. It didn't make it easier that it had been Lily's idea.
'I told you I am fine,' sighed Remus, 'or I wouldn't be reading.'
It was always that bit more challenging, travelling with Remus, who struggled with chronic fatigue, a weak immune system and chronic migraines. Usually, they were able to accomodate it with relative ease, because usually, it was only the three of them travelling. But when it turned out Lily and Mary were planning to do a similar road trip across Europe, and Fabian, Gideon and Alice had been talking about doing a road trip "for ages", they'd agreed to team up.
Mary had been forced to bail at the last minute, meaning Lily was fourth-wheeling two trios. James wanted to feel sorry for her, but he couldn't quite get rid of an image of himself and Lily, walking behind the rest in a park or maybe staying for one extra cocktail—or beer—at a bar or nightclub or shady Inn. Lily without Mary presented so many opportunities for James to spend time with her... Or at least fantasise about it. Four years of university together, and five more years of whatever they now were had proven utterly fruitless. Lily's opinion of him seemed to vary from indifferent to disgusted, and James had never quite worked out why she, of all people, disliked him so. Although he knew Severus Snape hadn't helped matters.
'We won't get there before midnight,' muttered Sirius, half an hour later.
James checked his mirrors and saw that Remus had fallen asleep.
'I know, alright,' replied James quietly. 'What do you want me to do?'
'Fuck knows. Fancy leaving the rest behind?'
James glanced in the mirrors again, this time checking the other car, still following just behind them. Knowing he was adding yet another mark to the list Lily no doubt kept of his many flaws, he sighed and put his foot down on the accelerator.
The car surged forward, the engine whining as the speed climbed. Wind buffeted the sides. James watched as the other car shrank and disappeared from view.
'JIM!' Sirius shouted a little later, his voice urgent.
James had seen it too. A man, appearing as if from thin air, in the middle of the dark road. He jerked the wheel and slammed the brakes. The tyres screamed in protest. The car fishtailed, swerving wildly. Trees rushed past in a blur.
A sudden jolt. The world snapped sideways. Metal groaned. Glass shattered.
A blindingly sharp pain travelled up James' right leg. A groan escaped him. He felt dizzy. Then, he saw Sirius, slumped forward and unmoving. The sight drove every other thought clean out of his mind.
'Are you two okay?' came Remus' question just as James croaked: 'Sirius!'
‘What are those two idiots doing?’ groaned Lily as she saw the car ahead pick up speed.
‘Last time I checked, there were three people in that car,’ said Gideon, pretending not to understand her.
Unfortunately, her less-than-good opinion about Black and Potter was well known amongst her university friends and their siblings.
‘That’s right,’ Lily agreed lightly.
‘I’d love to know how many idiots you think are sitting in this car,’ asked Fabian, his voice a few degrees colder than Gideon’s.
Fabian and Potter had rowed together since their first year, and Lily knew better than to be too vocal about Potter around the younger Prewett brother. Or anyone except Mary, really...
‘Just one,’ sighed Lily, deciding to defuse the situation. ‘I can’t believe I thought Mary would actually get away from work.’
‘Hey now,’ said Alice consolingly, putting an arm around her, ‘we’re going to have lots of fun, and send her so many photos she won’t ever dare to miss out again.’
Just then, Gideon swore and slammed the brakes so hard Lily and Alice were jolted forward in their seats.
‘Gid, what -’ Alice started as the car came to a jarring halt.
She didn’t need to finish the question.
Smoke was rising from a familiar, blue Volkswagen Polo, crumpled around the base of a tree. Memories flooded Lily's brain. Petunia's voice through the phone, sounding numb: 'A car accident.' Two coffins. One final goodbye. No warning.
Lily was already fumbling with her seatbelt. They’ve got to be okay. Please let them be okay.
She scrambled out, heart in her throat. There was Potter, stumbling out of the driver’s seat. Behind him, Lupin was already opening his door. Relief hit her in a rush, sharp and dizzying, but it vanished the second Potter tore around the car to the other side. He was shouting Black’s name before his hands were even on the door handle.
‘Gideon!’ Lupin called as soon as he saw the rest of them.
‘Are any of you hurt?’ Gideon asked, voice stuck somewhere between Dr Prewett and that of a concerned friend.
‘Sirius,’ came Lupin’s reply, echoed a beat later by Potter.
Lily caught Potter’s face in the glow of the headlights. Jaw clenched, eyes far too wide. His whole body was tense. He backed away from the passenger side as he gave Gideon his place and crossed over to them.
‘How is he?’ asked Alice, looking anxious.
‘He’s conscious now, at least,’ muttered Potter, the words automatic. His eyes were fixed on the wrecked car again. Lily noted that his pupils were very dilated indeed.
‘What happened?’ asked Fabian.
‘I…’
Potter trailed off. Then suddenly, he whirled and stumbled back into the road.
‘He was right there!’
‘James, are you sure you’re alright?’ Fabian asked cautiously, brows drawn.
Lily wondered whether Potter might be high. Yes, he had been driving, and it would have been playing with their lives. That was the problem. It was exactly the sort of thoughtless, dangerous thing Black and Potter would do.
Potter didn’t answer Fabian’s question. Instead, he turned to Gideon, who had helped Black out. Lily, too, watched as Lupin took over, helping Black over to the other car.
'How is he?' asked Potter.
‘Likely a concussion,’ Gideon replied, looking grim. ‘A few days of rest, I reckon, but I’d rather get him checked at a hospital to be safe.’
Potter nodded.
'James...'
Gideon's voice was careful as he, like Lily, watched Potter move gingerly back to the group, his right leg dragging a little.
'I am fine. Leg's a bit sore, that's all.'
'Still...'
'Listen, someone's got to stay behind. I crashed the car, so it'd better be me. Just get Sirius checked out, alright? And...'
Potter turned to Alice.
‘Al, I hate to ask, but Remus should go too. He’ll want to be there. And... he needs rest....'
There wasn’t enough space in the other car. Someone else would have to stay. Gideon was a doctor, which would greatly benefit Sirius both until they got to a hospital and certainly once they were there. Fabian spoke Hungarian and German, which, while not Romanian, were still useful in these parts. If anyone should stay behind, it’d better be either Lily or Alice.
‘I’ll stay,’ Lily offered before Potter could even finish the ask.
What was the point of fourth-wheeling if not to be the easily replaceable one?
‘No, Lily, it’s fine,’ said Alice quickly. ‘I don’t mind waiting.’
‘Neither do I,’ lied Lily.
Potter wasn’t really listening. His gaze was fixed on Black, now safely seated in the back of the other car, and Lupin, crouched next to him, talking quietly. Gideon and Fabian were busy transferring the luggage to the only car they had left. Luckily, the boys had packed lightly, and it all fit in the trunk, but for one rucksack, which Fabian put in the front passenger seat.
'Remus is going to want to be useful,’ muttered Potter. ‘Don’t let him. Please.’
‘Don’t worry, James. We’ll look after them,’ said Fabian, who was making his way back to the group. ‘So who’s staying?’
‘Me,’ insisted Lily before Alice had a chance to argue.
‘What are you guys going to do?’ asked Alice. ‘There’s no reception.’
Lily checked her phone. No bars. Alice was right.
‘Hope a poor soul shows us mercy,’ shrugged Potter. ‘Someone’s got to pass. Eventually.'
‘If you drive past a gas station or something, maybe send someone this way,’ suggested Lily as she followed Alice to the car to pick up her small yellow handbag.
Alice nodded: ‘Will do.’
‘Alright,’ sighed Lily, ‘see you guys later.’
‘Take care, you two.’
‘Don’t kill each other,’ was Fabian’s parting shot.
As soon as the car disappeared around the bend, James slumped down, back against the Polo, exhaling hard as he closed his eyes.
‘So now we wait?’ asked Lily as she walked over to him.
‘Now we wait,’ muttered James.
She looked around. The forest was pressing in, dark and foreign.
‘How are you expecting to see a car with your eyes closed?’
‘I’m not,’ he replied. ‘I’m expecting to hear it.’
Fair enough.
She caught the way he carefully stretched out his right leg, wincing.
‘You okay there?’ she asked.
‘Yeah.’
Was she imagining it, or had he gone a shade paler?
No, he was fine. They were fine. Right?
Maybe it was the silence. Or the darkness. Or the wrecked car cooling behind them. Whatever it was, Lily suddenly felt her confidence drain away. They were two tourists in a foreign country, marooned on a country road, with no signal and no ability to call for help.
Doing something felt better than nothing.
Lily started to wander a little way down the road, arms wrapped around herself to protect against the autumn wind, the gravel crunching beneath her trainers. Every so often, she glanced behind her. The car was still there. She didn’t like the idea of losing sight of it, even on a single road with nowhere to go.
When she had moved as far as she dared, no longer able to see Potter, but just about able to see the outline of the Polo in the moonlight, she pulled out her phone again. Still no bars. It was hardly surprising.
A flicker of movement caught the corner of her eye. She turned toward the forest.
Nothing.
She looked back at the car again. Potter was there too, Lily reminded herself, even if she could not see him. Her gaze wandered towards the trees once more.
And stilled.
A shadowy figure stood between two trunks. Watching her.
Lily blinked hard, trying to convince herself it was a gnarled branch; a jagged rock; a shadow on a shadow. Her heart hammered painfully against her chest as her view of the figure's outlines solidified, instead of melting away. Throat constricting, she glanced behind her once more.
Lily could scream. But would Potter hear her? The person certainly would.
Not daring to take her eyes off the dark silhouette for long, her eyes darted back to the spot between the trees. Gone.
Or maybe she had imagined it after all?
Lily turned and half-ran back to the car. The gravel sounded far too loud in her ears now.
‘Potter!’ she shouted, not bothering to hide her fear.
There had been a person. But there couldn't have been.
By the time she reached the car, Potter was on his feet. If she had been less worried, she might have noticed how Potter had used the car for support as he stood up.
‘Evans - hey!’
Lily didn’t mean to, but before she could stop herself, she ran straight to him and flung her arms around his chest.
Potter staggered, and a pained cry escaped his lips. His legs gave way, and his hand shot out, catching her shoulder for support.
Lily’s heart skipped a beat as she instinctively tried to hold him up. His weight was too much for her, however, and he sank down in the gravel next to the car, eyes screwed shut.
'James?' asked Lily carefully as she crouched down next to him.
He swallowed hard. His face had drained of colour.
'I’m fine,' he muttered.
'Sure,' said Lily dryly.
‘Just the leg.'
‘How bad?’
'Nothing life-threatening.'
She'd figured that much herself.
‘Why didn’t you say something earlier?’
Potter should have gone with the others. Alice or Fabian could have stayed behind. Lupin, even, if he had to.
‘Why do you think?’
He opened his eyes. Despite the obvious pain, there was something annoyingly arrogant about the way he looked at her, as if she had asked a really stupid question.
'I haven't the foggiest, Potter,' she snapped.
He hesitated. She waited. But no reply was forthcoming.
Potter shifted, a little, his face contracting in pain. After a moment, he exhaled, cursed and leaned his head back against the car. His forehead glistened in the pale light; his eyes foggy with pain behind his glasses.
This wasn't the time for arguing.
Lily noticed how his jeans pressed tightly against his swollen leg, the fabric stretching over what she now worried might even be a fracture. Not that she knew the first thing about broken bones.
‘Alright,’ Lily sighed, pulling off her jacket. ‘I need to lift your leg.’
Potter looked at her almost fearfully. Then, a tight nod.
‘Okay. One… two…three.’
Lily slid her arms under his calf and knee as gently as she could, lifting it just enough to wedge the jacket beneath. Even so, Potter let out a sharp breath, his fingers digging into the gravel beside him.
‘Sorry.'
He shook his head: ‘Just... a sec.’
Lily wished she knew anything at all about broken bones. She suspected there was more she ought to do than elevate the leg, but Potter's obvious pain made her reluctant to approach this challenge with trial and error. What she wouldn't do for phone reception, even if it was just to Google how to help.
They sat in silence for a bit. Then Potter spoke: 'I didn't feel it much. After the crash. That's why I didn't say anything.'
'Adrenaline can do that,' said Lily, understanding why he thought her question had been rather silly.
She had seen him then, and she was seeing him now. There was no way he had experienced the same level of pain earlier.
'What happened, Evans? When you came running?'
Lily had almost forgotten. The figure. Or a figment of her imagination.
'Nothing,' she said.
It didn't matter.
'It didn't seem like nothing.'
His voice betrayed an earnest concern that made her chest warm. She hated it. She hated how his voice often made her feel safe; how there were moments when she longed to have his arms wrapped around her; how her heart could take a tumble when he laughed at her jokes.
Lily had sworn never to forgive him. Without him, Severus would have stayed at university. Without him, Severus would still be alive.
It was a curse that someone so cruel could also appear to be so good.
'It really was nothing.'
Lily looked away. Still, she sensed how his gaze lingered. He didn't argue.
‘Do you think someone will come?’ she asked finally.
‘They have to. Eventually.’
'Eventually,' she agreed.
As the darkness pressed in deeper, as her thoughts travelled from James' injured leg to the figure she saw—or thought she saw—Lily felt that “eventually” might just be a little too long.
