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Damian at age 10 had a lot of strong opinions about the way things should have been. A lot of those ideas surrounded the idea that he should not have had any siblings and anyone claiming to be Batman's son was clearly an imposter who must be removed from the situation immediately.
When he arrived two thirds of the obstacles ahead of him had already removed themselves (even if Richard insisted on regularly visiting he was no threat to the Batman mantle so he could stay. For now.) Which left the last issue. Robin.
Damian had tried everything to remove Drake from the situation but he unfortunately was very good at staying alive. In the end it did not matter. Father died and Richard gave him Robin.
He had gotten what he wanted.
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Damian at age 16 wishes he could go back and shake his younger self until all of Grandfather's training fell out of his bones. Maybe then his big brother wouldn’t hate being around him.
While Drake had been saving father from the time stream( something Damian constantly wishes Richard would have let him help with) Damian had been learning. Not about how to be Robin but how to be part of a family.
“Dames trying to test my reflexes by throwing a knife at me during breakfast isn’t really nice.”
“I am making sure you know how to stay alive.” and he was. He was trying to make sure he knew how to protect his blind spots. If he didn't, Damian would have to teach him.
Richard cocked his head to the side.
“You're being completely serious huh.”
“Why would I not be?” he scowled.
Richard broke out into a huge grin. “Alright baby bat it’s time for some socialization lessons.”
He then spent the six months father was gone taking Damian to meet various heroes, none around his age because Batman seems to be the only one who takes sidekicks under 13, helping him learn how to speak to others. He took him to meet Jonathan Kent who has not yet started his hero journey.
He learned what it was like to care about people without keeping them at arms length. He managed to apologize to everyone he’d interacted with in his first few months.
Everyone but Drake.
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Damian had tried of course. Right after they got father on an IV drip he walked up to him and said
“Drake, I must speak with you.”
“Damian I just spent six months trying to bring your dad back from the time stream so whatever half-assed murder attempt this is can wait until I’ve had at least 14 hours of sleep.”
Damian opened his mouth to argue that none of his murder attempts were ever half-assed and then realized that Drake did indeed look very tired so he said
“Very well. Tomorrow then.”
“Sure kid.”
Except tomorrow never came because Drake found out that his friends were alive and rushed to San Francisco to see them.
It was fine. There would be other opportunities.
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“You're moving?”
Drake rolled his eyes. “I’m not going far B. You know where the nest is.”
Father grunted.
“B everything is fine, I’m not going off the deep end I just need a little space.”
“There are well over 30 rooms in the manor Drake just pick one.”
Damian saw his left eye twitch.
“That’s not exactly what I mean.”
What? What else could he-
Oh
oh.
“I see.” Father says. His voice sounds strange. Oddly enough Damian thinks he gets it for once. The irrational urge to cry.
Damian does not stick around for the rest of the conversion.
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“Red Robin, can you go retrieve Robin? I kinda got my hands full.”
“I’ll send Hood, he’s closer.”
“Cool thanks Red.”
Damian didn’t even complain when Jason made fun of him for being caught.
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Two years have gone by and Drake has done everything possible to not be alone in a room with Damian. Damian doesn't make it hard for him. He knows when he isn’t wanted.
When they patrol together it’s silent unless they have to coordinate attacks. Red Robin takes the lead. Robin doesn't complain. They almost always finish early.
Todd had asked once.
“Dude you and Red were completely silent on comms tonight did something happen?”
I tried to kill him.
I stole his family from him.
I took Robin by force and ruined any chance I had at him loving me the way he loves the rest of you.
“Baby bat?”
“I simply did not feel the need to engage in needless conversion the way you and the others do” Damian had spent 20 minutes last week talking about the different constellations.
“Uh sure kid. You okay?”
No
“I am fine Todd, if you’ll excuse me I must shower.”
If I try hard enough I can scrub the feeling away.
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Sometimes Damian really wanted to kill Poison Ivy. Not because she’s a villain, which she really isn’t these days, but because she’s way to damn smart and keeps creating toxins that fuck with your inhibitions that then fall into worse hands.
Scarecrow (always fucking Crane-) had just gotten his hands on Ivy's truth serum. Damian has no idea how and frankly? He doesn't care. It's been a very long night of his brother hating his existence so he’d very much just like to go home.
Red Robin is battling Scarecrow outside while Damian sets explosions around the warehouse. He’s just setting the last one when Crane goes flying through the wall of the warehouse and straight into Damian.
“Shit, Robin you good.”
“Well going on patrol with you is always a pain in the ass because you refuse to speak to me so no.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
“God fucking Dammit he knocked you into the serum?”
“It would appear so.” Damian says through gritted teeth.
“Okay, is Crane still conscious?”
Damian turns his head to the side from his spot on the floor.
“No.”
“Alright I’m coming in and grabbing him. We’ll drop him off at Arkham and get you to the cave. Can you move?”
“Yes I can.”
“Good.”
Damian is going to fucking scream.
______________________________________________________________
Tim has to get a vial of the serum to analyze but Damian otherwise takes great pleasure in blowing up the rest of them.
Normally Damian would be choking on the silence but for once he actually appreciates it. Seeing as he has to speak truthfully for the foreseeable future.
Damian is sitting on a cot in the bat cave.
“Alright, I need a full physical injury report.”
“ Six scrapes on my back, four on my leg, dizziness, and a shallow knife wound on my left arm.” That one had been from a trigger happy mugger.
Tim nodded his head.
“I’m gonna call Alfred down here to patch you up and then I’m gonna see what I can do about an antidote cool?”
Damian nods.
Tim turned away.
Same old song and dance.
_____________________________________________________________
Alfred had come in 15 minutes ago and was cleaning the knife wound when Damian heard Richard and Todd come down stairs. He groaned internally.
“Dames! Tim said you got knocked into a 300 pound crate? Are you okay??”
“I am physically well Dick.” Damian knows how to get out of revealing embarrassing secrets. He can not, however, stop his stupid mouth from calling them by their nicknames apparently.
He had called Pennyworth “Alfie”. He almost died from humiliation.
“Oh my god I think that’s the first time you called me that instead of Richard since you’ve been here.”
“So you really can only tell the truth right now?” Damian senses danger.
“Jason whatever you are about to ask me-”
“What were you and little mini supes up too when I walked in the other day? You were awwwwwfully close and turned bright red when I walked in.”
Damian can feel his face heating as he compulsively answers
“I believe Jon was about to kiss me before you walked in and ruined everything. I had been planning on that for almost a month and now he won’t even hold my hand during movie night any more.”
Dick is grinning and Jason is howling with laughter. Damian does not look at Tim.
“Awwww Dami don’t worry I’m sure he’s just shy. Are you guys dating?”
“Yes.” Damian physically bites his tongue to not go on a tangent about how long. He can see Jason getting ready to ask anyway when Tim finally chimes in
“Guys stop asking him questions when he doesn't have the ability to choose what to share.”
“Oh come on Timbers! They’re harmless questions, it's not like we're asking him what his biggest regret is.” Jason replied with a roll of his eyes.
“Trying to kill Tim.”
The room stills.
“What”
Damian closes his eyes and resigns himself to his fate.
“My biggest regret is trying to kill Tim because now he won’t love me. He moved out because he couldn’t stand being near me and he hates going on patrol with me. I know because when he's with you all I can actually hear him smiling, but when he's with me I feel like one wrong word is gonna set him off. He won’t stay in a room alone with me and he always makes sure to avoid being close to me when we're having “Family Bonding” as Dick calls it. He won’t touch me, talk to me, he won’t even look at me. He hates me and it’s my fault because I was too dumb to see what a great brother I could have had if I had just…….tried I suppose .”
Damian has managed to scoot back against the wall on the cot and pull his legs up to hide his face. He can vaguely feel tears on his face but nothing can drown out the deep and sudden panic he feels.
The room is silent for just a moment.
“Dick, Jason, get out.”
“What-”
“Tim-”
“Get Out. I told you to stop asking him questions and you kept going anyway. Accident or not, harmless or not, it isn’t fair to Damian to pull his secrets from him like that so get out. And let everyone know that if anybody but Alfred comes down here I’ll put a birdarang through their eye. Bruce included. ”
Damian hears them leave.
.
.
.
.
.
“Dames, will you look at me?”
Tim sounds closer now. Like he's next to the cot. Damian shakes his head.
“Dami sweetheart I’m not gonna ask any questions okay? I’ve got the antidote going, it should be ready in about 10 minutes but I need you to look me in the eye when I say this next part so please?”
Damian, with monumental effort, picks his head up to look at his brother.
He looks guilty. Why? Damian is the one who should feel guilty.
“Damian Wayne I do not, and have not ever, hated you.”
Damian's eyes widened.
“What?” he says softly.
“Dames when you and I met there was….. A lot going on. I was having a really hard time handling some things and I was already thinking about moving out. I was always going to give you Robin. I was just upset because Dick didn’t talk to me first. I should have explained that to you and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
He’s dreaming. He has to be. What?
“You were gonna give me Robin?”
Tim smiles softly.
“Yeah Dames I was, Dick just beat me to it.”
“I tried to kill you.”
“So did Jason.”
“I always insult you.”
“Again, so does Jason. And you haven’t insulted me in years baby bat. I know why now.”
Damian is crying again.
“So.. do-do you love me then? Am I your brother?”
“Oh Dami. Of course you are. I love you and nothing will ever change that okay? Yes I was upset about some things but I should have talked to you instead of icing you out. You tried talking to me didn’t you? When I first came home?”
Damian nods
“I was going to apologize. But you needed rest. And then the clone-”
“Kon” Tim corrects with a watery laugh
“And the speedster came back. And then you moved out and wouldn’t speak to me.”
“Oh akhi alsaghir, I’m so so sorry. Tomorrow, after we run through your blood work and make sure the toxins are all gone, we’ll talk okay? We’ll fix it.”
And this time. This time Damian thinks tomorrow might actually come.