Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Stanley Nubstein (Stubbs to his patrons and Stan or Stanny-boy to his few friends still above ground) groaned when his cheap alarm clock blared at 4 AM. 

“Grrh, piece of junk I set you for six.”

‘Stubbs’ rolled over and blindly slapped last night’s dinner. He’d been aiming for the snooze button of course but, well, 4 AM. 

“Son of a…” Stubbs swallowed, he didn’t use the b-word.

Shaking the pizza grease off his hand didn’t do much good. All of him wanted to just say fuck it and tuck himself back in. But the last thing he needed was an orange handprint on his only sheet. 

A roll out off his futon got him on the floor. The rough and matted carpet woke him up an inch more. Climbing upright with another tired groan, Stubbs made the trek to his apartment’s only bathroom.

He had to poke his head out into his ‘office’ to make sure nobody’d come in. Sure he’d locked the door but you never could tell these days. Not since lockpicking went viral as the cool and hip new hobby. 

No dice, no bereaved dame in need of confirming what she already knew. Perfect. 

Stubbs trekked across the apartment’s converted living room. He’d moved the TV to his bedroom and pushed the sofa against the wall to make room for his desk. A book case full of paperbacks hid the kitchen. Compared to the dingy back Stubbs’ office was downright clean. As long as you didn’t look too close you couldn’t even tell he lived here. 

“Tell the whole world I’m comin’ home. Someone’s gonna need a grave.” Stubbs caught himself before he moved on to the next verse. That was all he ever remembered of Urban Country. 

He shaved but not too close, carefully sculpting his stubble to ensure it looked appropriately scruffy. People didn’t trust clean-shaved detectives, one look and the first thing they always thought was ‘too green’. When people looked for a man to burn shoe leather on a problem they wanted one full of grit and old world wisdom. Of course just having that wasn’t enough; these days you had to look the part.

Brushing his teeth helped to keep the music in his head. And before he knew it he was showering too. He’d long since washed his hand and he’d done the rest through momentum. Hell, he was definitely up now. 

Breakfast was the last of last night’s pizza, and once that was done Stubbs eyed the heavy lock box next to his bed. Smartphone or no smartphone? Either way he didn’t trust the damn things. 

“…Nah, the phone stays in the box today.” 

Stubbs dressed and returned to his office, sitting behind his desk with an old paperback he’d read a dozen times. Between that and doomscrolling on the brainrot box, well, that sure was an easy decision.

He’d gotten to his favorite the part, where The Shadow turned Baron Von Crimson’s hypnosis scheme right back on the old communist hardliner, when he heard someone fuss around the door. Some low cursing followed by a jangle of the lock. Stubbs went back to his book, but still opened the top drawer of his desk. Where his revolver hid. 

Several minutes passed without his guest popping the lock, and Stubbs calmed down. An amateur, pros would have opened his front door within a minute. Stubbs went back to his book.

A woman’s voice punctured his solitude bubble. Ritzy, valley girl to the bone but trying to sound ghetto. 

“This where that Stubbs cat hangs?”

Cat? Oh yeah, definitely trying too hard. Both of Stubbs’ bushy eyebrows arched when he set his book down. Yep, one of the beautiful people all right. A black woman with botox in her face and a whole lot of filler in her lips. Between the rhinestone talon-manicure and the shine on her chrome purse chain; she practically gleamed in the lines of light creeping through the windows behind Stubbs. 

“You picked my lock. Could’ve knocked.” Stubbs turned a page.

“Nah, pickin’s what’s in today.” She flicked the spring-loaded blade of her lockpick closed. “You got a good lock. I was, like, jangling that shit for ten minutes.”

“Heh, sure do. Come on in.”

The over-modded woman very carefully closed the door behind her. Her steps were clumsy, wobbly even, her wide and fleshy hips sloshed around in the confines of her fitted violet dress. Each stiff step sent chaotic flesh ripples through her pelvic area. 

She must have just had a tune up. 

“Shit.” She stumbled into the chair in front of Stubbs’ desk. Those mirrored visor shades were definitely not rated for indoor use. 

“You could take those off.”

“Naw, people’d get the wrong idea.” She affected a heavy emphasis on the negative. 

Stubbs waited for her to fully seat herself before he set his book down. The chair was too narrow for her, that wide dumptruck of hers got wedged and she had to bounce herself a little to get that fat cake flush against the cushion. 

“You’d better not have any cameras on me. I charge for that.” She said. “That shit.” She added on, a tremor in her voice.

Yep, she was under duress all right. 

“I bet.” Stubbs said. “You got a name?”

“Name’s Megan. Call me Meg.” 

“Like the rapper?”

“Like the rapper, Nicky’s my sister. Ma liked diva rap.”

“Hm, no accounting for taste. I’d introduce myself but my name’s on the door.”

She didn’t even smirk at that. A little more serious than a missing purse dog then. Cheating husband? No, cheating boyfriend. He bet himself twenty dollars.

 “What’s making you mingle with us poor people?”

“I got someone who needs to be found.” She caught herself. “Needs findin’.”

“Trouble with the kayfabe?”

“It’s my sister, Mister Stubbs.” She snipped back, an edge on her voice. Those overfull two-toned lips of hers frowned. “You’d have trouble with yours too.”

“Hmm, got me there.” Stubbs leaned in, lacing his fingers on his unused blotter. Apparently he owed himself twenty tens. “So your sister’s missing?”

“That’s right.” Meg nodded, the motion bobbed her long and silver-blonde hair. Ironed flat and dyed no doubt. “Haven’t heard from her in a week. News bots’re going rabid. Sayin’ it’s, like, her ex husband come back for revenge or some shit.”

“Anyone called the police?”

Megan shook her head. “Cops can’t touch who’s got her.”

Stubbs stiffened. “The cops can touch a lot of people these days. Old man Diddy got put away for what’s left of his life.”

“These people’re worse, Mister Stubbs.”

Megan rummaged around in her large pink purse. He could tell the brand it was imitating from the stitching on the leather and the aggressively modern sleekness of the body. Well, that and the great big badge reading ‘Baalenciaga’ on the front. The real brand had gone extinct years ago. ‘Baal’ was the imitation brand everyone had flocked to after the loss. She must have dropped a big chunk of change to get a genuine imitation Balenciaga and not an imitation of the imitation. 

Long and shimmering manicure claws extracted their prize from the nice purse. The way she handled it, she looked like whatever it was was going to hit her hand off. Stubbs half expected to see a ransom note or a black spot. 

No, what she placed on his big old desk was neither of those things. 

“You’re kidding me.” Stubbs chuckled. 

“I ain’t.”

“A travel brochure?”

“Tropical, Mister Stubbs. Some people still vacation.”

“How do they afford it?”

“They can’t. Read it, please?”

She leaned in when she said ‘please’. Enough to make those big chocolate tits hang some in that thin dress. They barely changed shape, yep, definitely augmented. Stubbs guessed at least 2000ccs in each breast. A chunky silver crucifix hung too low between them, tiny Jesus’s crucified feet hung level with the tops of those augmented mountains. Plastic in the front and the back then.

Nasty but not a bad view. 

Stubbs opened the brochure. Bracing for a haymaker punch across the eyeballs. But the pictures inside were surprisingly…tasteful. No too-young spring break sluts in bikinis. No almost nipple slips. No shots of unrealistically muscular men power chugging kegs. The most risqué thing he found was an image of a middle-aged couple walking hand-in-hand on a pink beach through turquoise shallows. 

“Kauai Lagoon. An ethical vacation spot free of temptation.” He read the tagline. “She got herself kidnapped by a retirement home?”

“Don’t let that bullshit fool ya, Mister Stubbs. That swill hole makes Sodom and Gomorra look like a  montessori preschool.”

Stubbs snickered into the brochure. “Been holding on to that one, have you?”

“Practicing since Monday, can’t model without my twin sister. Ain’t had nothing to do but stew and practice talking shit.”

“No other family?”

“A useless daddy and an evil stepmother. I don’t know what crypt he opened to dig her plastic ass out of. Mother Gothel lookin’ ass bitch. I can’t prove she’s the one who lured Nicky to that island, but I bet you could.”

“What’ll I find when I get there?”

“No idea, they’re real private and there’s, like, a mountain of money behind ‘em.”

“Can’t go in with my fedora and trenchcoat, then.”

“Naw, if they knew who you were nobody’d ever see you again. You’re the third private dick I’ve sent.”

“Don’t worry about me, beautiful. I’m pretty tough. Still gonna have to ask you for the scratch you didn’t pay them.”

Megan laughed. “If you get Nicky home I’ll let you write your own paycheck.”

Now that perked the detective up. His own paycheck? If he survived this he might be able to afford an actual house!

“I’ll—ahem, I’ll need a description of the missing person of course.” Stubbs said. 

Megan leaned back, spreading her arms and arching her back, those big tits bulged over the triangular cups of that sinful dress. Dark caramel flesh spilled slightly out the laced-up sides. Stubbs felt his dick move, he wasn’t completely jaded to the fairer sex yet. 

“How’s this~?” Megan purred. 

Stubbs smirked. “Not bad, but unless you want to hang off my arm all the way there and back. I’m gonna need something more portable.”

Megan shrugged and returned to her big pink genuine imitation purse. This time she retrieved a picture. High fidelity of two sumptuously thick black women bursting out of matching white bikinis. Eyeless behind those trademark silver shades. Juvederm-bloated lips parted in unison so they could stick out and curl up their tongues. Stubbs let out a low whistle. 

“That her on the left?” He asked. 

“Naw that’s me, she’s on the right.”

“You’re identical twins then?”

“Nope, fraternal. We just look the same ‘cause we’ve had all the same work done.”

“Bet you hear all the time that you and her look just like the Clermont Twins, don’tcha ?”

“Every photoshoot. See that little birth mark just above her boobs?”

Stubbs brought the picture close to his nose. “Yep, I see it.”

When he set the picture down he jumped. Megan’s perfect caramel milk cannons were hanging in his face. She was standing over his desk and was bent at the waist. One palm on the blotter while the other lifted the crucifix. 

“See? She got that birthmark but I don’t.”

Before Stubbs’ cock had simply moved. Now it outright THROBBED. Invasive, vivid thoughts
of dragging this plastic bitch over his desk and hiking up that expansive dress and driving his turgid meat between those meaty thighs saturated his brain! Spreading them wide she she would whine when he stabbed two fingers into her moistened core until it wept and he spread it wide for his beefy prick. Then the lotion, the clumsy, brutish stabbing of male inside female. The barely there friction of perfect, easy, clingy penetration. Leg-shaking hot-tub heat from her clenching, surgically tightened depths. Augmented, trained with kegels and jade egg weight lifting to make it the perfect semen extractor~~<3<3

Stubbs swallowed. “Uh, yes I definitely see.”

Megan smiled, looking genuinely thankful, she wouldn’t have been so happy with him if she’d known what his meat was making him want to do to those skanky silicone balloons she called breasts. Stubbs felt for a pen in his desk drawer, circling Nicki’s face several times.

“We’ll cover your travel expenses, Mister Stubbs.” Megan said, replacing the cross. “Try not to get distracted.”

==0==

It was, in fact, very hard to get distracted; on the plane at least. Megan’s sugar daddy must have been a real cheapskate, because instead of one of those first class jets the rich and beautiful people rode inside, Stubbs had been packed into the very back seat of a pre-internet prop plane. To get puttered at snails speeds over the bermuda triangle. 

ETA? Six hours instead of six minutes.

The straw hat had been a compromise, Stubbs always felt naked without something on his head. For the moment his prized fedora was taking up a support role in his duffel bag. As for the cargo shorts and bowling shirt; well they’d been tactical decisions. The cargo shorts were more than baggy enough to hide his thigh holster. A bright shirt would draw the eye away from his face, so ‘they’ would have a harder time recognizing or remembering him.

With no idea who ‘they’ were supposed to be (Megan had looked scared to say in hindsight) Stubbs had packed his quiet revolver. Because he had a gut feeling, one that made him think back to that bload-soaked December 23rd, who these ‘people’ were. Lucky for him, revolvers had a nice habit of keeping monsters away. This specific revolver’s captive-piston ammo cost an arm a leg and a hand. But that made the snub-nosed firearm as quiet as a movie silencer. He’d been in the shit too many times to hope he wouldn’t have to use it. He would, the question was on who.

If god was with him, it’d be the lowlife who’d packed his big brother into an early grave. But he hadn’t crossed paths with the bastard in thirty years. Why would that change now?

He knew he’d been just a kid back then, but Arthur’d barely been the age of a grown man. Why couldn’t he have just listened when little Stanley begged him not to take that job on that billionaire’s mega yacht? As a boy Stubbs hadn’t been able to express why it was dangerous. Now he could, big bro Arthur Nubstein had been in the shit. Neck deep until it smothered the light in his eyes and wiped the smile off his face. And that was all before he learned The Thing that’d gotten him a knife wound in every major organ.

Poor Arty’d seen something out there, on international waters where there was no law and the new aristocracy could turn their boats into little Gomorrahs. Learned something that made him need to blow the whistle harder than Snowden. He’d been careful to cover his own ass, but not careful enough.

Still, it’d been a sloppy killing. If every mouthbreathing pig in the local precinct hadn’t been cut a nice chunky check with more zeroes than they could count (four was a big number), Arthur’s death wouldn’t have been ruled a suicide.

Any cop with balls in their sack and grey between their ears could see that was a steaming load. So, what, his big brother, the most level headed man Stubbs had ever known, just tied himself to a chair and stabbed himself fifteen times? That was what the twenty grand christmas bonuses had said, and they’d all been inclined to agree.

“Suicide my hairy ass.” Stubbs grumbled under his breath.

“Hmm? You say something?” The younger man sitting next to him glanced over his book.

Stubbs grunted and leaned back his seat, putting his hat over his face.

Not on anyone taking this flight with him, he hoped. The five of them seemed like decent folks; if ornery. But smartphones had made everyone ornery so, eh. 

“I’m telling you this is gonna be brilliant.” The brit in the seat in front of Stubbs reassured his friend, shrub-like mass of red hair bobbing excitedly. “Three words, target rich environment, it’s gonna be bored housewife snatch wall to fuckin wall.”

“I still don’t know about this, Ron. Nobody’s going to be single on that whole island.” His black haired introvert of a friend watched the turquoise waves race past far below.

“I didn’t say single, I said bored, Fred. Twenty plus years hopping on the same bloke? Those milfs are gonna be gagging for it.”

“Will you two shut up!” The woman in the row in front of them snapped. “God, have you losers thought about treating women like people instead of objects?”

Fred winced at the accusation.

“Oi! We’re perfect gentlemen–” Ron began, but the third friend cut him off.

“Yes ma’am we did. That’s why we’re all still virgins.” Stubbs’ seat-mate said, looking over the top of his book.

The brunette on row one twitched. “Well maybe if you weren’t such–!”

Stubbs pinched his forehead and grunted, kids. Can’t live with can’t live without, all that mess. He was about to cut this argument off at the bud, but the woman’s boyfriend beat her to it.

“Amber, honey, come on, it’s not worth it.” Her boyfriend said, rubbing her arms. 

She shook him off. “Stay out of this!”

“Yeah Amber. Listen to your man.” Fred said.

“Do not say my name like it’s a four letter word you incel!” She shot back.

“Oh I’m an incel now am I!? Well isn’t that convenient, next you’re gonna say I voted for that orange bastard!”

“Oh I bet you fucking did! Nazi!”

And then they both began to argue. Fred sank down deeper in his seat and the boyfriend got very interested in his phone. Stubbs tried to ignore the bullshit, but after several minutes the random epithets flying around really got under his skin. ‘Nazi’ was met with ‘Ran Through’ which earned a crisp ‘Chud’ snapped right back, and that of course got the classic ‘Bitch!’ lobbed all over her.

God dammit.

Stubbs took the hat off his face, so much for his brooding time. He’d better bring out the drill sergeant voice before someone pulled a knife.

“All you kuckleheads clamp your yaps! Does this look like fucking Twitter!? You’re giving me a damn migraine! You!” He stabbed a finger at the woman. “Keep your mouth shut about shit you don’t understand! And you!” This time he aimed at Ron. “There’s a lady on this plane! Be a gentleman!”

Pin. Drop. Yep he still had it, the trick was as always shouting from the diaphragm.

Ron rolled his eyes but agreed, the woman loudly huffed but collapsed back into her seat. Their black friend shrugged and went back to his book. With that over with, Stubbs leaned his seat back and replaced his hat.

“Nice job, you practiced that?” His seat mate said. 

Stubbs lifted his hat. “You’re talkin to me?”

“Not sitting next to anyone else am I?”

“I’m not someone you want to talk to, son.”

“You just shouted down a whole bloody plane. I’ve only seen that in movies.” He held out his hand. “I’m Ibram, by the way.”

“What’s that?” Stubbs lifted his hat again.

“That’s what you were gonna ask, right? People talk on planes.” Ibram said. 

Stubbs eyed the man up and down, he didn’t look like he was hiding anything. But then the types to hide stuff hardly ever did. Tentatively he shook Ibram’s hand.

“Actually, I was gonna ask about the book if anything.” Stubbs said.

Ibram noted the cover. “The World As Will And Representation, just a bit of light reading.”

“Since when’s Schopenhauer light reading?”

“It is for me.”

Stubbs laughed. “Ah, the gifted kid’s all grown up.”

Ibram snorted, but smirked. “Fat lotta good it’ll do me! Got bored and fucked up one year, busted me down to the bottom track. That was college up in smoke. Lucky if I get delivery driver with my grades.”

“Well least reality bit you in the ass early, yeah?”

“Maybe, wouldn’t have minded enjoying life a little first.”

Stubbs inclined his chin toward the two in front of them. “They’re your friends?”

“Why you wanna know?” Ibram furroughed his brow. “You some kinda detective?”

“Just making conversation.”

Ibram marked his place. “Well, if that’s all we’re doing. Don’t let that tear he went on fool ya. Ron ain’t sharp but he’s got his heart in the right place. Fred’s the quiet and sensitive type, ex girlfriend fucked him up pretty bad though. Five years they were together, told him she was asexual, but I don’t know any asexuals that go out to night clubs. Never even took her top off for him. Dunno how much Freddie spent on her, he’s too embarrassed to say.”

“Christ.”

“Aye.”

“How about those two up front?”

“Dunno ‘em.” Ibram said. “Just got on the plane same as us. Girlfriend’s got a temper though.”

“Probably best to give her a break.” Stubbs said.

“Maybe, but I can smell the ego on her.” Ibram now eyed him fully, the bowling shirt did not distract him from Stubbs’ face. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Stanley, just Stanley.”

“Well, Stanley, you’re glow’s showin’. All these questions.”

Stubbs narrowed his eyes. “You’d better keep quiet kid.”

“I’m not saying anything.” Ibram put up his hands. “I don’t talk to random chaps on planes.”

He went back to Schopenhauer.

==0==

Color punched Stubbs in the eyes almost as soon as they landed. He’d seen his share of resorts on this job, none of them had looked like the brochure but this one? Mother of god, it was like the big man had saved all his paint from the rest of the world. Just to make this one little island really pop. 

Pink beaches, just like in the brochure, backed up to rows of touristy buildings all white and rustic and glitzing with neon. Opening the plane door rushed in a front of hot, salty air with a hint of…was that booze?

The girlfriend covered her mouth and nose. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t think it is.” The boyfriend said. 

Ron took a long sniff of the air. “Ah! You smell that gents? Fresh pussy aged juuuuust right!”

He aimed a smirk at Amber when he said that last part. She gave him the finger.

Fred said what Stubbs was thinking. “Something’s up, if this’ supposed to be all low key, why’s it smell like a dirty bar?”

“Someone could’ve spilled their cocktail on the dock.” Ibram said. 

“Whatever, let’s get out there already!”

But before Ron could hop onto the sands, Stubbs stopped him. “Hang on there, let me go first.”

“What?” Ron scoffed. “You trying to protect us?”

“I’d listen to him, Ron.” Ibram said. 

“Humor me would you, son?” Stubbs insisted. 

Stubbs ended up climbing out first. A military duffel bag in one hand and the other jammed into his right pocket. The one with the ripped out bottom that gave a clear path to the grip of his gun. Even at this range he could see people moving around the shops, women specifically, very scantily clad women. Much less clothed than on the brochure. The boys were gonna be in a candy store.

It was halfway up the beach that the scent really hit him. Perfume, heat, cloying and clinging to his head. Somehow the figures on the shores grew more blurry instead of less the further he stumbled. Was he stumbling? It felt like he was, his sandals suddenly were made of concrete and... 

Fuuuuuck was he hard? ...yeah...yeah he was...when was the last time he’d just gotten an erection? It’d been years. Stubbs looked down at himself and realized he was tenting his light cargo shorts something fierce~<3 Well worn prick just jutting out straight like a teenage girl’s pilfered dildo. A fat tube a hair too big and too rough for them to really take—gah! No! Stop that! Focus!

It was too late, face burning in a way distinctly out of character. Stubbs hurriedly fiddled with his hard-on until he got it to point up into his waistband. Much less incriminating. But the moment he took his hand off his gun; a HUGE pair of bikini-clad tits materialized right in front of him.

“Hello sweetie~ You must be a new arrival, correct? Here, let me take your bag.” The woman attached to those big fat baby feeders hummed, her voice was low and throaty with a russian accent.

A bony hand closed around the strap of the bag. Stubbs felt the points of lacquered blue nails scratch the back of his hand. On reflex he stepped back from the blue-eyed blonde.

“I, can carry my own bag, thanks.”

The woman smiled, and it was clear that her face was never meant to arrange itself like that. Framed by that razor-sharp bob cut, the entire upper half of her old money visage refused to budge an inch despite the curling of her mouth. Too-full blue lips stretched into an unnatural shape.

She eyed him over chunky sunglasses. “Oh? An old fashioned male, are you? My my, we do not get many of those.”

The gorgeous woman lunged. Suddenly all over Stubbs, those massive flesh spheres squished against his broad chest and her thick dick sucking lips smothered his mouth~ It was a deep, affectionate kiss, too much tongue to be friendly. Stubbs felt tumescent nipples press through two layers of clothes, hers and his.

Those lips were stiff, they didn’t yield against his mouth they stayed rigid and suctioned themselves to his face like a lampray. Cool and unwarm as if the fillers inside them had not yet fully absorbed his heat. Her tits felt the same, lukewarm. Full of stuff God never intended to go in a woman’s body.

This woman was unnatural, not an inch of her had been left untouched by scalpels. Her smile was fake, her lips were full of juvederm and her boobs had to be worth at least ten grand a piece. Stubbs tasted a vodka martini on her tongue, a sting so intense its paint-thinner fumes drifted up his nose the back way. 

Jesus! She must drink like a fish! Stubbs thought. 

But despite all her flaws Stubbs’ tired erection PULSED against her trashy thong-clad crotch. 

“Mm-mmm-mm…” Stubbs felt a hand full of pointed slut claws grope his ass. “Mwah~! 

And when her face pulled back; Stubbs spotted the reason why; crow’s feet. They were subtle, dusting around the corners of her artificially narrowed eyes. Cheekbones jutting out too round from too much botox. She was old, scandalously old. 

She was at the age where she would have been cradling her first grandson, but Stubbs couldn’t imagine putting a baby anywhere near this skank’s monstrous face slappers. They were so huge she could have fit the newborn between them!

Stubbs shuddered to imagine what she was hiding in her bikini bottoms, pressed so hard against the front of his shorts, she HAD to be able to feel his erection. 

“You, do that for everyone? Or am I just special?” Stubbs fought to get his composure back. 

“Oh don’t read too much into little old me, dearie. Ask any of the girls on this island, they will tell you I’m a very affectionate woman.” She affected a laugh, resting a hand atop a shelf of tit. 

Over his head, Stubbs heard the plane chug away. It was official, there was no leaving the island until seven days were up. The rest of Stubbs’ travel mates crunched up the sand. None of them were neutral to the sights before them.”

“Oh yeah! Look at that one, Fred!”

Fred blushed. “Holy crap. Are you sure this is the right island?”

“Who cares?” Ron threw an arm around the shoulders of his friends. “Gentlemen, we are in heaven.”

Ibram, though, his eyes refused to un-narrow. “Do these women look…odd to you guys?”

They did indeed look “odd”, as they climbed the beach to the damp road at the crest of the pink sand; only became more obvious just how “odd” they were. 

The island was crawling with women, all bursting out of the tiniest technicolor bikinis any of the men had ever seen. The kind of barely-there bathing suits instagram models stuffed themselves into. A parade of hard bodies strutted past them, smooth tanned skin glistening over taut womanly muscle. Some were apparently so obsessed with fitness they even had honest to god six packs~<3

“Odd nothing, Ibbie my friend. That right there is what sex goddesses look like.”

The couple echoed similar sentiments when they caught up to the pack. Stubbs expected Amber to start huffing and puffing about how all these gorgeous bimbos were ‘objectifying’ themselves. Which, well, yeah that was the point. But she didn’t, the minute Amber clapped eyes on Maggie she began snickering into her hand. Like something about her was just so damn funny that she was about to explode.

“Jesus. Talk about the crypt keeper, Tom.” The girlfriend whispered. 

“What? The blonde?” The boyfriend (now named Tom) asked. Looking at Maggie, and did not see anything his girlfriend did.

“What? You don’t see it?”

“...no? She’s an extremely attractive woman.”

“Suuuuuure she is.” Amber coughed the word ‘hag’ into her fist.

“What is with you all of a sudden?” Tom asked.

“Well! You are certainly an opinionated bunch.” The greeter said. Still insistent on touching Stubbs. A small fortune’s worth of rings glittered on her long and hard fingers. “I suppose we shall have to exceptionally hospitable for the likes of all of you. Now, why don’t we find you handsome people some rooms for the night?”

The road beyond the beach slanted skywards on the gentlest of gentle inclines. ‘Maggie’ of course took the lead. Tottering along the artistically rough pavers on six inch stiletto heels. A standout amongst the tatty sandals and old sneakers following her wake. She strutted like a model on a runway, glittery nails clamped on swaying shoulder-width hips, one foot placed in front of the other with balletic precision. Heels clicking in time with a completely necessary twist of the shoulders.

Every shoulder twist swung her massive spheroid rack. If they’d been natural and soft those man-made cock pillows would have clapped like a stripper’s asscheeks. But they still jiggled, up and down in short waves, slightly de-synced from the rhythm of her runway strut. Grape sized top-stretcher nipples trading off which of them pointed straight ahead. The sheer weight of them fought the half-cut tube top of her obscene bikini. Slivers of areola peeked over the top seam, blurred and blended from excessive streeeeeeetching. If it wasn’t for the inverted Y-straps suspending it (whose branched fingers had of course been tailored to stretch tight the sides of her epic knockers), her top would have slid clean off her rack within a handful of steps…

But that was nothing compared to her ASS. Stubbs knew these bitches were all going to be caked up like a wedding, but the doubled up mountain slabs of twerkmeat exploding off Maggie’s otherwise sleek body were fucking obscene. Each cheek protruded a full foot out from her lower back, creating an insane shelf of butt that could have easily balanced beer steins on their wobbling shelf. Bloated to an insane magnitude, like a crazed gooner artist had sculpted it as a symbol of every last one of the beauty industry’s worst impulses~~

Creeping a handful of inches up her fit back and down her toned thighs, it was just too much flesh for one pelvis to carry. Each ass cheek was roughly the size of a globe you'd find in a classroom, perfectly round and impossibly firm. Right up until a sharp step from its hostess kicked off a cacophony of up-down jiggles and left-right sways. Stubbs didn’t know what kind of crazy experimental fillers Maggie had gotten pumped into them, but it couldn’t have just been a simple fat transfer. That much mass would’ve caused heartbreaking levels of sag.

That ass was so huge it actually scared him a little, though he’d never admit it. It was just too much meat, too much flesh for a normal man to conquer. He doubted any normal man could ever get his cock near Maggie’s clenching holes~~ Even if you pushed down with all your strength to part those buttcheeks, there still had to be a good three inches of springy flesh between your tip and Maggie’s bleached asshole. A normal cock of five point five inches would’ve lost more than half of its length. Two point five was micropenis inches. She had to be a size queen just out of necessity~~<3<3

And even if you fled from that awe-inspiring bubble butt, flipped the woman over and penetrated her in missionary, you’d still get the penetration of a gorilla at best. Because those cheeks were so fat they seemed to have crept down Maggie’s thick thighs. Visible when she spread them, a protective cushion below her sleek, muscular snatch. Gelatinous castle walls that would rob a man a cruelly from the front as they would from behind~~

‘Oh, dear. How disappointing. But don’t be ashamed, not every man can be a stud.’ Stubbs’ mental projection of Maggie chuckled.

Oh yes it was fear all right, fear of a blow to his badly bruised masculinity. That he just wasn’t man enough to impale that ass~~

No part of her body beyond that insane thong-snapping booty better embodied the lengths this cock-thirsty rich bitch would go to beat the ravages of age. Cleft up the middle by a reinforced thong that probably HAD to be hung from her shoulders to not just slip down her thick and muscular stud-choking thighs.

And as they passed ticky tacky shops and fashionable restaurants; Stubbs observed (purely professionally!) that every last woman here was built exactly like Maggie. No matter their race, in fact the strutting gangs of stud-ogling cougars fit every color on the diversity rainbow. Except they had ALL been nipped and tucked into the same cookie-cutter vision of beauty. Globe-sized knockers that looked hard until they were grabbed and squeezed~<3 Squishing just like how natural boobs were supposed to~~<3<3 Only possible to sling around because of the wobble-prone counterweights erupting off their hips.

And the gang of men could feel the combined heat of their hungry eyes. Amber clung Tom close to her, protecting her territory. Road became the central vein of a long market, bimbos trickled from every store, you could practically hear them whispering “Ooh, fresh meat~<3”

“Look at that one, he’s adorable~”

“Forget that, what about the big one? Mm! I’d like to snap off a piece of him.”

“Not a chance, you see that blue lipstick? Maggie’s got him marked.” Stubbs tried to rub off the smooch mark on his collar. It smudged.

“Mind picking up the pace, miss?” He asked.

“Call me Maggie, dear.”

Not a chance in hell, he thought. Out loud he gave her a noncommital grunt.

“It’s the locals isn’t it?” She raised her voice. “None of you need to worry! We are in fact very friendly once you get to know us!”

“Oh I bet.” Ron rubbed his hands together, a greedy gleam in his eye.

The further they tromped the tighter the crowd became. Until a veritable buffet of bimbo tit coagulated around the procession of men. Amber swatted a pair of identical blonde twins off her man. Stubbs’ lipstick smear seemed to repel them, strutting in close only to curse and scramble out of range fast once they saw it. Freezing under Maggie’s icy stare.

Tom, Fred, and Ibram weren’t so lucky; or arguably they were more lucky. Depending on how you looked at it. Out of the turgid mass of groping ‘Hiiii~’ slurring bimbos, three such examples clawed up the closest.

“Hey, wanna catch yellow fever~?” One purred very slow, voice thick with smoke and a chinese accent. Before Ibram could even process what he’d just been asked; a hentai-stacked MILF had stuffed a glittering jade-ringed hand down the front of his pants. Onyx black hair bound up tight to her scalp, pinned with chopsticks into a pair of tight buns. Plucked-round eyebrows waggled as she palmed his junk~~

Her bikini was a pornified parody of a qipao. With so many cut-outs she was one sneeze away from a nipple slip and a bush flash. Finger-width straps of shiny green inlaid with intricate silver filigreen to approximate floral patterns. The triangles on the front were so small they barely covered her nipples, and an elaborate web of silken cords arrayed out from there to bind around her massive baby feeders.

“Hey! The fuck--!”

A flagrantly bolted on bubble butt ground against his hip. She grabbed his wrist and guided him to grope a tit.

“Black boy like big butt, yes~?” She rasped, licking behind his ear. Ibram shuddered, he hadn’t cleaned back there! “Miss Shen got big big butt.”

“That’s a stereotype—”

“Then why hard?”

“Y-you’re grabbing it!”

“Virgin, yes?”

“Uh, yeah?”

The now named Miss Shen buried her nose in his hair and sniffed. “Mmmmmmhhhhh~~~ Smell of virgin, fresh like fruit. Virgins are best. Make cute noises~~” Ibram gasped, Shen had just pressed her finger against the tip of his penis. HARD~<3 “Fuck ‘til little hole on tip of penis gape like loose pussy~~<3<3”

Amber was snickering up a storm, she snapped a picture of Miss Shen molesting Ibram for future blackmail.

Ron got an attacker of his own, a puffy mop of curly red hair with black roots. Half-lidded green eyes stopped him cold. All the little hanging charms on the hippie’s tan bikini jingled. Glass beads, little crystals, oriental and esoteric little talismans dripped off her assets like a river of cultural appropriation. At first he thought she was rocking the belly top and baggy being pants look; until he looked closer and realized it was just the legs, and they were hanging from a garter belt made of all those exotic knickknacks. And the bottoms of her thong bikini was cameltoe-ing HARD into her fat waxed-smooth pussy. To all intents and purposes; she was wearing assless chaps with navajo style tassels down the side.

“Heeeeeey there brother, you’ve got great vibes~~” She slurred, the drawl of a woman who’d fried her brain on every mind altering substance known to man.

Stubbs wrinkled his nose, christ, he could smell the weed and patchouli from where he was standing! He couldn’t imagine how thick the musk had to be where Fred was standing. Thick enough to start coughing and mumbling at least.

“Hang on hang on what about your handsy friend—Mmph!”

She kissed him, Ron was a big guy, and she had to crane up to capture his lips. But that didn’t stop her at all. Bangle lined arms slunk around his neck. Fred’s eyes fluttered, he swayed in place.

“Mmmmmwahhhh~~<3” When she ended the kiss they both panted for breath, and the full length of her long tongue slid out from his mouth. “Don’t worry about Shen, the bad english makes her sound meaner than she really is. She’s not really gonna destroy his dick.”

“Oh...heh heh, well that’s good.” Ron breathed, red-faced, captivated by this undersized hedonist.

“Unless, you know, he wants her to~” She pushed on before he could cut in. “I’m Ruby, by the way. You’re Fred, riiiiight~?”

“Y-yeah?”

She grabbed his crotch, over his shorts this time thank god. “Wanna pop your cherry with me?”

Ron blurted out an ‘Oh fuck yes!’, higher brain functions switched off in favor of reinforcing the size and sturdiness of his erection. Stubbs pinched his forehead and groaned.

Amber got a picture of that too.

By this point the third member of their trio, Fred, looked like a rabbit caught in a trap, and sure enough a whirlwind of lace and ruffled crashed into him. A TALL one with platinum hair piled high on her head like a french lady headed for the guillotine.

“Oh non non non zis vill not do. Do not be scared little man, here come to my bosoms~~~”

Fred got pulled face-first into mammary HEAVEN, those massive tit-globes squished around his face. Lukewarm until his lizard brain turned FERAL from the sheer volume of tit smothering him. Expensive floral perfume filled his nose, mingling with a pleasant note of sweat.

“Hold me, little one.”

Fred didn’t need any further instruction, hugging the big frenchwoman’s narrow waist. Eyed dampening as a plug of swallowed hurt came loose in his heart.

“Shush shush shush, zere is a good boy. Let it all out, maman Marie in here~<3”

A powdered white face frowned into a rictus of pity, Marie’s massive pussy-like lips made her pained look of tenderness look wrong; fake. She was an actress and a damn good one, but that body gave away her true nature. Between the body and the mannerisms. Marie looked to Stubbs like the type to wash down a full pint of bull semen with a flute of $35,000 wine. And she was going to destroy poor little Fred~~<3

“Shall we make love, baby?”

Fred nodded into her epic rack.

One more shot for Amber’s personal cringe compilation.

All three friends melted into the throng of wine-aged bimbos. Leaving Stubbs alone with the couple and Maggie. Amber picked her jaw up off the floor while Tom worked to unstick his eyes from a bulging stare. Stubbs cleared his throat.

“What the hell was that?” Amber broke the silence. Thoroughly confused by what she’s just seen. She felt for Tom’s hand and found it.

“Tom, baby, why didn’t they notice?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Tom shrugged noncommittally, not sure what she was talking about.

“You see it though, right?”

“Sure do, babe.” He said. He didn’t.

Amber tapped Maggie on the shoulder. “You seriously think your fooling anyone with this shit, Mags?”

Maggie brushed off Amber’s tough like it was a spider. “Maggie Eiskonigin to you, young lady. And to answer your question, we have nothing to hide, beyond what you want to see. The only ulterior motive is turning those boys into—“

“Okay okay I get it! Don’t finish that sentence!” Amber covered her ears.

“—men. They will be perfectly fine by tomorrow. If rather heavily dehydrated.”

“...ew! Did not need that mental image.” Amber said.

“Still, all the same, that is what we do on this island. We’ve gotten rather bored with our current stock of men.”

Stubbs looked at Amber like she was crazy, he’d seen jealous spouses before. This was something else. But no matter how Stubbs studied the crowd all he saw was those tight shiny bodies and succulent lips and wide, wide hips. Was she some kind of savant? What was she seeing that a trained detective didn’t?

Maggie led them on, Amber miming gagging herself while Tom sheepishly kept up with her. Stubbs began to trail behind, casting his gaze around the lurid tourist trap. Maggie had mentioned studs, implying men. But he’d seen none, at all. A whole street of nothing but cougars was weird, where the hell was the other half of the island’s population?

“Do try to keep up.” Maggie’s voice drifted to him. “We wouldn’t want you to be...caught out alone~~”

The top of the hill was where the motel squatted. A rustic strip of rooms in a long and flat pink building. With green doors all spaced weirdly far apart. The whole structure was backed up to a wall of verdant postcard jungle and;

“What’s with the electric fence?” Tom asked.

“Oh that, we have something of a predator problem.”

“Feral cougars.” Amber whispered to Tom, they both snickered.

“More accurate than you would assume, young lady.” Maggie said, an edge in her voice. “In any case, the fence is there for your safety, do not cross it under any circumstances. You will find nothing there save for an extremely painful death.”

==0==

Before he finally let his hair down, Stubbs took careful stock of his assigned room. It looked cute and rustic. Yellow walls, an aesthetically rough wooden floor. A kitschy lamp in one corner and a painting of a thick-assed asian bimbo squatting over the crystal clear stream of some tributary that fed into the beach’s white surf. Okay that broke the décor. Jeez, she looked like she’d accidentally sat on a bike pump; or maybe a fire hose.

Stubbs was extra careful to check the painting for bugs. But he found none. He also found nothing behind the TV or in the drawers beneath it. Stubbs tried to check behind the book book case, but he couldn’t budge the heavy oak thing no matter how hard he tried, it must have been built into the wall. So no bugs apparently. Of course that might just mean they were someplace he couldn’t reach them.

Still, just to be careful up every lock on the door to his room. Then jammed one of the nice bamboo chairs under the handle. Stood back, thought about it for a second, then stuffed a towel into the latch. Wouldn’t stop any marauding bimbos from busting through his window. But at least the cleaning lady couldn’t shank him with a knife.

“Wait, I have to undo all this to get out.” Stubbs sighed, looking to that graven image of the korean bimbo with the overpumped clap cannon. “Right, can’t exactly stay inside all day, can I? The plastics’d get suspicious.”

Undoing his safety precautions, Stubbs opened the door. “Wish me luck, toots?”

The painting, of course, said nothing.

“Heh, I’ve had worse send offs.”

==0==

Sure enough, the outside was crawling with sexually aggressive cougars. Changing his shirt had broken the repulsive spell cast by Maggie’s lipstick. An avalanche of tanned, oiled tit damn near bowled him over the second he stepped outside.

He caught his breath against the side of a cabana. ISLAND CHARMS, the sign over the open front read. Inside was full of every cheap wooden tchotchke imaginable and all carved with tiki faces. He saw Ron get dragged by the old hippie chick into the shack built into the back. The kid was already fumbling with his zipper. 

They sure didn’t waste any time here. 

“Man, this place’s the shit.”

Ibram had found the same place he had. Haggard like him but also grinning, there were dark red lipstick marks all over his face and a hickey on the left side of his neck.

“Heh, sure is, if you’re gotta lose it fast, Ibram.”

“Lose what?”

Stubbs blinked. “You know, your cherry.”

“Pft! I lost that years ago, mate.”

A little yellow light marked ‘Suspicion Alarm’ began to flash in Stubbs’ head. He straightened a little.

“So, what, you were just here to support Ron and Fred?”

A flicker of blank incomprehension crossed Ibram’s face. “Oh, yeah! Yeah! I just came along to be wing man. Show them around the island. It was nice to get together with Miss Shen again, too.”

“Oh yeah? So you know her? Sure didn’t look like you knew each other on that hill.” Folding his arms, Stubbs faced his suspect, still leaning on Ruby’s cabana.

Ibram waved him off. “Ah that’s just how auntie is. She’s real nice once you get to know her.”

Stubbs’d heard that one before. From battered wives. Wait, did he say auntie?

“Not like blood related!” Ibram raised his hands. “But ya know, she’s an old friend of my family.”

“Really? Who’s she know in your family?”

Another blank look, Ibram rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re glow’s showing you know. All these questions.”

“You said that before.”

“Did I? I think I’d remember that.”

Stubbs’ Suspicion Alarm pulled the Something Ain’t Right Alarm as hard as it could. Klaxons clanged in his brain, what the hell was going on here? This LOOKED like Ibram from the plane, the resemblance was uncanny. Stubbs looked closer; yeah, the resemblance was uncanny because this was Ibram. But there was this blankness in his eyes, they rested just a little too wide. Creepy.

“One more question, then I’ll leave you alone. Do you recognize me?”

The man who was slowly ceasing to be Ibram shook his head. “Never seen you before in my life.”

Jesus, what kind of drugs had that Asian bitch doped him with?

“Well, I’m Bob.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Bob.”

“I’m gonna take a walk.” Stubbs dusted the loose straw off his bowling shirt. “Say, you saw where that young couple went?”

“The fresh meat ya mean?”

Stubbs made a note of that choice of words. “Yeah, yeah the fresh meat. You seen ‘em?”

“Sure did, Miss Shen and I passed em…” He trailed off. “Shit where was that again? Down by the… No, not there… Around…” Ibram scratched his head. “Man, I should know this shit!”

“It’s all right, don’t hurt yourself. Just been in the sun too long probably.” Stubbs tipped his straw hat to the lost man. “I’ll track them down. You stay in the shade, get lots of fluids in yourself. And no booze, that’ll dry you out all over again.”

“Thanks, pops.”

==0==

“Something stinks around here.” Stubbs said to Amber.

“Oh please.”

“I’m serious, Amber.” He joined her on the unrolled blanket.

Amber snorted, opening a fresh water bottle to take a long drink. Sleek throat working to chug it down.

On any other island a beach like this would’ve been packed shoulder to sweaty shoulder. But not here. Here the beach-goers had room to spread out. Afforded just enough privacy from the sheer distance to be obscene~~ Salt and sex and tanning oil stenches clung thick to the inside of his nose. Several yards of pink fluffy sand spread out wide and dry between each little island of technicolor. Not even the gentle hiss of the turquoise waves could calm their shared sour mood.

A short finger of a wooden dock sprouted from the beach’s edge, lined with little berths where eleven jet skis bobbed on the gentle surf. The twelfth berth was empty; someone was out on the water.

Far out on the warm surf, a tiny pair of mites were jet-skiing around. Semen-like arc of oceanic spume spraying behind them as the little machine whipped them in circles around the little rock-enclosed lagoon. The pale passenger clung tight to their pilot’s heavily tanned back.

“What? Did one of those british creeps end up some old skank’s sex slave?” Amber sneered.

Stubbs held her in a stare until she dropped her water bottle. The plastic bounced off her toned thighs, spilling its contents all over her dark blue one piece. She burt out laughing again.

“Oh, my, god. You didn’t see it either?”

“See what, Amber?” This girl was getting on his nerves.

“This whole island’s one big hag colony.” Amber said slowly, like he was stupid.

Flipping to the image app on her phone, she held the screen up to Stubbs’s face and began to flip through the shots she’d taken of the crowd. Without the ambient pall of...whatever the hell was contaminating the air. Stubbs saw what he hadn’t before.

Crow’s feet, very fine lines around the eyes that no amount of botox could fully remove. Hollow cheeks that weren’t just the product of very aristocratic features, no, they were a sign of age. How the sun shone through their meticulously styled hair just a little too strongly. Shiny spots on their skin showed themselves too thick and viscous to just be oil. It looked more like lotion, the moisturizing kind older...women...used. Stubbs snatched the phone away and scrolled through all the shots twice, three times. Dear god, how the hell had he not seen that before!?

Amber was not, in fact, some kind of clue finding savant. He’d just been blinder than a methanol chugging redneck.

“Hey! Gimme my phone you old fart!” Amber took the phone back. “My fans need a content update.” She held her phone up over her face. Carefully schooling her features to find the perfect selfie.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

Amber gave him this kind of snotty look. “Out on the jetski. Why’s that matter?”

“With who? Where?”

She pointed at the two dots bouncing over the turquoise waves.

“Some hag with a braid. But there’s no way Tommy’d fall for a little botox and a facelift. Men don’t like old ladies, that’s just a fact.”

Wondering where this girl young enough to be his daughter got to be so damn sure of herself, Stubbs got up and began to stomp his way toward the jetty. One of them had to be concerned about Tom at least!

==0==

[Thirty Minutes Ago]

Tom needed to get away from Amber. Not for any big reason, nothing melodramatic or anything silly like that just…well he needed to get his head in order. Amber was great, really just, she could be a lot. And sometimes he needed to come up for air. 

This plan of hers, where they’d live, what kind of house they’d buy, how many kids they’d have, heck even what they were gonna name those kids. Tom didn’t hate any of it but now he could see the full arc of what his life would be if he married Amber. Of course it all sounded like a great plan now but what about in ten years? Twenty? What about thirty? What if something went wrong? Could they deviate from The Plan if they needed to? 

Idly he heard the jetty’s planks creak beneath his sandals. The slosh of the waves eased his nerves. Boy did he need this, and when Tom saw the small fleet of jet skis bobbing in the gentle waves. Well, why not go for a whirl in one?

Nobody was around, there didn’t seem to be any locks or anything. No marks of ownership other than a standing signs sunken into a bucket full of concrete that said EAST BEACH WATER TOURS $20 PER HOUR. And an arrow pointing down to a tin can bolted to the stalk of the sign. So…could just put the money in the tin and take one? That was an awful lot of trust for a resort. 

Well, he wasn’t about to be the fox in the chicken coop. Pulling out his money clip, Tom slipped two crisp twenties into the can. He’d never ridden a jet ski before, and he wanted to savor this moment.

The Jet ski swayed under his foot, was his leg shaking? He steadied it, high school introvert nerves coming back in force. Awkwardly he shuffled his way on to the vehicle. White knuckling the handlebars until his heart stopped pounding. 

Aaaaand then something else made it pound all over again for different reasons. 

“Hang on a sec!”

The woman that burst out of the water would have raised a Buddhist’s blood pressure. Glistening seawater drops clung to skin so dark and smooth it looked to be lifted straight off an ebony fetishist’s dream woman~<3 That flawless shade was painted over the same dick-inflating and bikini-stretching beach bod all the other women of the island sported. But none of them had had the tightly cut set of six pack abdominals this woman sported. The kind you just wanted to lick the sweat off of—

Whoa! Down boy! Tom reminded himself he was already engaged. 

But just because he couldn’t buy anything didn’t mean he couldn’t window shop. And damn was there a lot to shop for with this woman. All the sinuous grace of a predatory cat, she seems to flow into the jetty. Pulling herself up by tastefully muscular arms. Those standard issue titanic balloon boobs rubbed up the side of the wood. Almost catching, almost pulling down the long and stretched tube top fighting to not explode off their atomic mammary payload.

Lips so gravid with fillers they parted in the middle pursed in a hard line. Tom saw the muscles in the tall, tall woman’s aquiline jaw work to force those lips together. She’d shaved her hair short on the sides.  A long braid of black hair fell down her left shoulder like a brush-headed snake. Streaks of silver accented the curve and shape of the elaborate triple-weave braid. That was an interesting choice of dye job. Usually women avoided silver and white colors like leprosy. Citing the fact it made them look old. Apparently this one didn’t give a damn. 

Pulling down a set of chunky white sunglasses, the jet ski instructor (at least he assumed she was) looked down her nose at him. 

“You know how to handle one of those things?”

“Ah, um, ah gah.” He felt himself getting woozy again, absent minded. What was with him today? “Uh yeah, fine fine. Just a little nervous that’s all.”

“Just fine? Just a little nervous?” The jet ski instructor arched a plucked eyebrow. One of her manicured nails prodded her fleshy hip, rap-tap-tapping. Picking as the Barbie pink stretch of dental floss arcing high over her hip bone. “I’ve seen those jitters before, those are newbie shakes.”

Tom blushed. “I-I’ll be fine! I know how these things work I’ve watched people ride them for years—“

“Easy, easy babe.” The jet ski instructor said in a softer tone. “There ain’t nothing wrong with being green. I sure wouldn’t judge a cutie like you.” She winked.

“I’m engaged.” He said

“With a body like that? I bet you are.”

She sat on the edge of the dock, bare feet dipped in the water. Tom’s eyes widened in amazement at just how much sitting down made her massive ass spread out. Dear god did a single chair have arms on this island?

“C’mon, scooch back. Let me on that.”

“Are you serious?”

“Sure am, you gotta be a passenger at least once, that’s the rules.”

Tom was about to protest, Amber was right there. If she saw him clinging to the back of this ebony goddess…well he slept next to her, with extra pillows, and she always stayed up later than him.

 ‘Nuff said.

Still and yet somehow Tom found himself sidling his hips backwards on the long, padded seat without protest. Raising the handlebars ever so slightly up.

“A little further, babe.” She gestured for him to move back another few inches. “Just a bit more, I take up a lot of space.”

Oh she definitely did all right! Once Tom was practically falling off the back of the jetski; his new partner climbed aboard. Stretching one Widowmaker long and Chun-li thick leg over the narrow seat. Planting her bare foot on the opposite side before smoothly sliding herself  onto the tiny seat. 

“Ffuh~!” Tom gasped. 

Gallons of premium chocolate assmeat spilled against Tom’s crotch. Suddenly his board shorts were feeling very, very thin. The singular fattest ass he’d ever beheld in person pressed against his hips. Not hard, but just enough to further erode his confidence in the solidity of his perch on that tiny sliver of seat. 

“Comfy back there, handsome?”

“Ye-yuh.” Tom swallowed. “Yeah I’m fine but, could you give me a little more space!”

“Sorry, that’s all I got, I’m a big lady.”

“I noticed.”

“Hah! I bet you did. You boys always do.”

She plugged her key into the ignition, stretching the elastic cheetah-print lanyard that bound it to her wrist. 

“What’s your name, by the way!” She called over the growl of the engine. 

“Tom!” 

“Tanya! Welcome to the island!” She revved. “Hang on tight, Tom! I live fast!”

Water sprayed from the back of the jetski, Tom felt the inertia slap him in the stomach and he clenched the seat with his knees for dear life. They took off at full speed, seawater foaming over the dock, a wave of hissing snakes. Out onto the water. Fast, fast just like in the movies. Speedometer creeping its needle into the red zone. 

Wind whipped through Tom’s hair. Tanya’s braid smacked him in the mouth. Already belting across the middle of the little bay. She let out an adrenalized whoop as they belted sideways through the first turn. G-forces bent Tom hard the opposite direction, his knees clenched so hard they numbed. His flailing hand scooped into the stinging cold water but somehow he stayed on the jetski.

“Yeeeeaaaahhhh! How do you like that!?” Tanya shouted over the noise. 

Disoriented, Tom tried to figure out which way the shore was. Where Amber might be watching. But the little dot that was his wife looked like she had her nose in her phone.

He doubted she heard the breathless ‘Holy Shit!’ he let out. Another bend, Tanya traced a large circle of white on the water, connecting end to end. Wake radiating out from the ring and inward to crash against itself. The crystal-clear water began to chop up white with heavy foam. 

Tom realized what that was for, how the hell was he going to keep his balance over that? He wasn’t, that was what his inner fatalist told him. And when Tanya cut the steering hard to the left to slashed them clean through the middle of the white water; his fatalist was proven right. 

Tanya let out another overjoyed holler. Jetski flying off the water while Tom flew off the jetski. Suddenly the world was just him and the blue ocean the the bluer sky wheeling around him. Reflex took over and he tried to grab something, but there was nothing to catch onto seven feet in the air. 

Splash! 

Tom plunged into a bathtub. Disoriented he flailed around until he found which way was up. Dog paddling toward the light, following his own bubble trail while the ocean roared in his ears. Up to the light, where there was air. Up to the light, where the triangular white bottom of the jetski glided into position. Sharklike over to the ring of bubbles marking where he’d splashed down. Tom came up coughing saltwater. 

“You okay!” Tanya asked over the engine, leaning on the handlebars, gigantic tits spilling over the gauges. 

“I’m fine! Just a little wet!” Tom coughed.

“You’ve gotta grab on to me, mister gentleman!”

“What would my fiance think!”

“Forget her! She’s not gonna see what we’re doing this far out!”

Tanya offered him her hand. When he took it she gripped with surprising strength. Tom was embarrassed to say she did most of the work hauling him back onto the jetski. Jeez she was even stronger than she looked.

“Aright, now grab me! C’mon do it tight!” Tanya practically shoved her thong-clad bubble butt against his crotch. 

Tom gulped, it hit him all at once that Tanya’s ass was soft. Mushed up the middle by that narrow seat they shared, glistering like two massive black pearls dredged from Poseidon’s hoard. For some reason he thought they’d be hard. What with them being so perfectly shiny and round and smooth~<3 

Now he could see the subtle imperfections, the faintest of faint cellulite dustings on the forward poles of each globe. Subtle arcs of scar tissue on her lower back,
 where the implants had been inserted. But(t) those tiny flaws made his thick penis pulsate all the same. 

Even worse was the back side of Tanya’s buttcrack-devoured thong. He could see an inch or so of it sticking up over the top of her buttcheeks, forming the bottom leg of her thong’s torturously stretched whale tail~~ A string of round metal beads that looked cold despite the no doubt hot-tub heat of this fertile bitch’s ass. 

Tom knew he had no choice, he could have said no right then, could have said this was too much. He had no RIGHT to do something so intimate with another woman. But he didn’t and he couldn’t, the refusal just would not leave his lips no matter how hard he tried. 

She was warm against him, solid, muscular, dense. But not in the places that counted. Those squishy gravity defying twerk-balls engulfed the tent in his pants just like a loose pussy. The beads were indeed cold, cold as ice-cubes pressed against the tip of his aching penis. When he hugged her from behind it was everything he could do not to grab Tanya’s mighty rack. But pressing his palms against her shiny wet abs felt just as lewd. 

“Ready?” Tanya asked. Now they were so close she no longer needed to shout. 

“Mhm, y-yeah.” He muttered, his head practically rested on her shoulder.

“Hang on tight.”

Oh did he ever, and oh did he ever wish he had a better excuse. Now when the jet ski carried them away, Tom got the scent and feel of this incredible woman all over him. Some kind perfume hung around her neck, a scent he couldn’t quite place, Tom had too much blood rushing to his dick to wonder what kind of perfume could survive being dunked in water.

“Aaaaand bank left~~” Tanya purred. 

They tilted toward the open mouth of the bay. That heavy ass sloshed with them and pressed hard against his cock. The rumble of the engine and the bouncing of the choppy waves vibrated the whole warm pudding-thick mass against his crotch. He felt cold, the water evaporating off his skin seemed to suck the heat off his body. That was the excuse he would make for himself later; why he hugged Tanya as tight as he could. 

“Ooh, you sure you ain’t engaged, sugar~?”

Tanya’s massive ass squished against his hips, when they turned it threw him forward and pressed his swollen clothed pecker HARDER into Tanya’s asscrack! She banked them out deeper into the bay, where the waves lived. Suddenly they didn’t need to make their own turbulence; the ocean did that for them. 

Every BOUNCE slapped those heavy wobble cakes against his crotch! Plap-plap so hard it made Tom gasp and tense against Tanya’s muscular back. Which only pushed his suffering penis harder against the source of its torment. Each cheek had to weight like 30 pounds! Fuuuhhhk no wonder why she was so muscular, it was from carrying all that ass around. Twerking must’ve burned more calories than weighted calisthenics~~ It felt like she was giving him CBT! 

Plap-plap! 

Fuck, this was torture~!

Plap-plap! 

Or was this therapy? 

Plap-plap! 

 CBT, what’d that stand for? Cock and Ball Torture or Crushing Butt Therapy? Either way something hot and sticky was inching its sludgy way through his penis—oh shit! Clench! CLENCH! Clench the PC muscle! 

Barely, barely Tom kept the tide inside his body. But it sat in there heavily somewhere molten lead and steaming cement~<3 

The waves grew higher, whitening around the caps. Tanya weaved them around the largest whelms. Streaking them out of the splash zone seconds before the biggest of the brutes slapped them clean off the jetski. Rapid left and right S-curves flowing into each other and scything over the smaller swells. All that shaking just kept pounding Tanya’s ball-busting bubblebutt against poor Tom’s dick~!

The foam on the ocean rose, just like the foam filling his balls—gah! No! Bad thoughts! They streaked over a white reef where thousands of little swimmers coalesced, all thoroughly convinced they could impregnate Tanya’s ass—stop! Bubbling bubbling higher and higher like the hot sticky ocean behind him—fuuuuuuck!

“Jeez! Keep it down you’re shouing in my ear—“ Tanya’s eyes widened, she felt something hot spatter between her buttcheeks. Streaking a long narrow that tried its damn best to fill the muscle-sided channel running up her back.

It was chemical, unnatural, a forced push of spunk out of his wang. So strong it felt like it actually stretched his cumslit~~<3<3 Pumped in distinctive ropes with so much force it actually soaked through his board shorts. The sput of seed that shot up Tanya’s back was nothing compared to the shameful mire of steaming semen filling Tom’s pants. Dripping slowly out of the legs…

“Holy shit! Oh daddy, you’re even weaker to the pheromones than I thought~” Tanya nibbled her fat, bolted on lower lip. “God that’s so fucking hot~~<3”

Tom was too blissed-out to hear her talk, spasming and ‘ngh’-ing his way through the hottest bout of slime shooting to ever wrack his hips~<3 The jetting dragged on for a full twelve seconds. The world record for longest orgasm had been eleven, and that’d been a woman. Legs achingly empty and numb with honeyed-joy, Tom collapsed against a shocked and smirking Tanya’s back. 

He came to on calmer waters, felt the sticky crust of his own jizz on his stomach. Tanya was looking at him over her shoulder, sliming with perfect pearly whites, glasses pulled down so she could look him in the eye. Something predatory flashed in those eyes, in her toothy grin. Something that made Tom fear for the sanctity of his balls. 

“I’m sorry! Jesus christ I don’t know what happened…” Tom began to climb off the jetski. “I’ll just go I am so sorry please don’t tell Amber about this—“

“Oh no you don’t!” Tanya dragged him back hard against her. “You stay right here.”

She hugged him against her with one arm. He kept babbling. “God that was so disrespectful but you’re just so beautiful and—“

She kissed him, hard, it was another of those thought-softening kisses. The same breed that’d disarmed Stubbs on the beach. Fireworks made of maple syrup and spice exploded in Tom’s head. They parted, and Tanya’s thick mouth-smothering lips came up sucking on her prey’s tongue. 

“There, you gonna shut up now, babe?”

Tom came up glazed over, tongue still close to lolling out. “Y-yeah…shutting up.”

“Good boy.” She scritched the back of his head with her sharp bedazzled nails. “There’s a lagoon just past the rocks next to the beach. We can clean up in there.”

“Right…right…” Tom agreed without thinking, still woozy. 

Tanya jetted them to the lagoon, more than pleased with herself. She had this tasty side of beef now. Stuck on the spit and begging be roasted~

It was set into the rocks, walled in on three sides by smooth stone, with a shallow and narrow shore of glass-like gravel on the far end of the entrance. A ring of coral tall enough to almost exit the water. It was idyllic, perfect, something straight out of a postcard. Tanya brought them along next to the reef and carefully stepped over the barrier. Tom was able to get over on his own, despite his shaking legs.

Inside, the water was almost hip deep. Just tall enough to make Tanya’s asscheeks float. Against all logic the sight of it made Tom’s abused penis twitch again. Even though he’d already pumped out enough hot, thick semen to fill a beer can. 

Tanya began to splash water on her back, peeling apart those semen-greased shake globes to get the water to flow in there and clean out his spunk. Tom turned around to pull down the front of his bathing suit. He should’ve guessed she’d object to him turning away. Those lean dark arms draped around his neck, she’d come up from behind.

“Mind if I take a look~?” She licked him behind his ear.

“That’s not appropriate.”

“Baby, you just painted my fucking back white. We’re way past appropriate now.” 

She trailed her soft palms down his sides. Touching him in ways that made him feel like he’d never been touched before~~ Sharp nails sliced through the knot holding up his semen-logged swimsuit. The whole thing splashed into the water. And the giant spunk glob exploded on the surface of the idyllic lagoon.  

“Oh wow, you like me that much, stud~?”

“I don’t get it, we can’t shoot that much nut. I should be dead.”

“You’ve never been with me before, though, have ya?” She nuzzled his cheek. “Nice to know I still got it~<3”

One of those leanly powerful hands closed around Tom’s prick. He felt calluses on the base of the fingers from years of handling…well something pole shaped at least. They ever so nicely scraped the underside of his thick penis while the rest of her hand squished and squelched up and down it. Slowly, gently, with plenty of that warm cleansing water. 

“Someone’s gonna think those’re jellyfish you know~ All that clear white stuff bobbing around. We don’t get many waves in here. You’re nut’s gonna be in here for a while honey.” 

Tom began to breathe heavily, that woozy feeling came back. The perfume that no amount of swimming would wash away. 

“Probably just as well…” Tanya scooped up a bobbing glob and, in an image that would sear itself onto Tom’s soul for the rest of his life; slurped it down like an oyster on the half shell~~<3<3 “MmmmmMM! Fresh from the tap, my favorite~<3 What was I saying? Oh yeah, you know the water’s exactly ninety eight point six in here?”

She slurped another, bigger, glob down. 

“Your swimmers are gonna be swimming around in here for a while, honey. Any girl that swims in here’ll get knocked up bad~<3”

Tanya took her hand away, Tom’s reddened, stroked stiff cock jutted proudly from his hips now. Curved up and bulbous behind a fat tip. Tanya licked her lips. 

“Aw yeah that’s a nice cock~~~ Feed it a lot of porn when you were a kid?”

Tom knew he shouldn’t answer that, it would only deepen the depths to which had claws had penetrated him~ But the words still slipped out. 

“A lot, a whole lot.”

“You like big butts~?”

“I like everything.”

“Ooohhh, a conneisseur? How about if I told you to lick the sweat off my abs~<3?” She purred the question in his ear, slowly batting her eyes, just like a big cat. 

Tom moaned, his cock twitched, smearing a line of precum on her palm. 

“Wow~ You weren’t lying~ How, about, this…”

Tanya led him to the shallow gravel beach, keeping him close, face practically buried in her titties~~<3 She bent over and pressed her breathtaking quake factory against his crotch yet again. This time, his pale cock nestled naked between her dark asscheeks~~ Tom gasped and his now leak-prone penis dribbled precum all over the string of beads buried between her fat-pumped cheeks. The contrast in skin tone alone made his tired nuts lurch against her clothed pussy. 

“Today’s a dangerous day for me, stud. So if we’re gonna get rid of that stubborn hard-on.” She pulled down one string of her illegally obscene thong. “You’re gonna have to go in the back~<3”

Tom gulped. 

“Go on, get the other strong down.” Tanya tantalized him with a hip wiggle. One that kicked off a loud mess of meaty claps~<3 “Don’t worry, I haven’t eaten anything but white claw all day, I’m fucking squeaky clean in there.”

The bikini bottoms hit the surf. Splash. Ever conscientious, Tom tossed it onto a nearby rock. The dark and puffy asshole hidden just under those cheeks winked, squeezing, suggestive of the clench she was capable of~~<3<3

Of course she had anal lube. Stashed in a little bottle she’d been hiding in her cleavage all this time. The cinnamon-mint combo chilled Tom’s meat when she upended the bottle onto his plump dick. 

More excited even than when he’d lost his virginity, Tom slathered the cold stuff onto his meat ‘til is squelched with the pearlescent red/mint-swirl gel. Tanya got a handprint of it slapped on her right asscheek when her grabbed her. To get leverage to push his cock into that amazing ass. 

Hot CRUSHING rough heat squished his glans. Tom gasped at the tightness of her, stopping short. 

“Aw, what’s the matter? Too muuuuuch~?” Tanya let out a cackle so sharp it made him jump. “Wanna just do it with the tiiiiiip~~??”

Oh she did not. 

Tom seized both cheeks, braced his legs on the rocks, and pushed with EVERYTHING. Tanya let out an overjoyed squeal when two more inches JAMMED into her tight, puffy pucker~<3

The churning crush of her was going wild! Tom felt a flash of being a king, of feeling like a man. He pushed more, and got pushed back out. Tanya had flexed that maddeningly phat ass of hers. Hardening up those soft spheres to push him back out until just the tip was inside. 

“Gotta do better than that~<3” Tanya stuck out her tongue, unfurling it down past her chin. Jesus, she’d give Gene Simmons a run for his money!

Tom grunted and did something he’d NEVER dare do to Amber, he slapped Tanya square on her phat fake arse! The sleek woman squealed in joy, long back arching as she tilted those hips up. Offering, begging, cheeks softening to invite him inside. 

A bitch in heat.

Something so misogynistic to think would have sickened him on any other day. Now Tom didn’t give a shit. The lion roared inside him, he dragged those epic hip-bruisers apart and drove his pulsating meat inside!

“Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh~! Give it to me white boy! Give me that good white pipe!”

Left, right, left, right, left right left right left right leftrightleftrightleftright! Alternating one cheek and another, Tanya’s muscle isolation was flawless. Jiggle one then jiggle the other. Then relaxed and shimmying as the full length of him squelched into her overlubed rectum. She was twerking on it, holy shit she was twerking on his dick! Just like one of those rap videos! The lion inside him roared!

PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!

PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP! 

PLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP!

It was feral, artless, sweaty water-washed and pawing her hanging fake udders that stretched her tube top far far down and threatened to snap it~<3!

“Harder… Harder you little bitch…Harder!” She hissed through clenched teeth. 

Every slam of his hips scattered ripples through her suddenly soft assmeat. Rebounding like the ripples on the ocean they had left behind. Those heavy tits slapped back and forth against his burning, tired arms. Threatening to overspill and slip his grip…

“Yeeah yeeeaaaaahhhh you like my fat black ass you little shit? I bet you jerked off to it every night! I bet you told your mama ‘n daddy you had alllll these hot dates. But then you’d just sneak up to your room, light some candles around a gif of me shakin’ this thing. And bricked your fuckin’ monitor by nutting all over it~<3!”

Her tits slipped his grip. They dropped to full extension and her shoulders flexed from the insane weight of them. Tom worked them as if they were cow udders until her nipples throbbed like coffee bullets~<3 

PLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP!

He grabbed her fat weeping cunt and jammed two fingers into it. Remembering all the pointers Amber had given about fingering women (Amber? Who was…Amber?), he crushed Tanya’s clit under his thumb and spread her pink un-melonated insides wide with the other two. His knuckle stabbed her g-spot and the tip of his middle finger burrowed deep to hit a spot sexologists didn’t even have a name for. 

“Whoa! Shiiiiit you know how to tickle a peach, you learn this shit on YouTube…?” Tanya’s taunt cut off into a happy squeal when he pinched and twisted her clit. 

PLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP!

Tom went caveman on her! Crushing the bigger woman in a bear hug and pulling her upright so her mar a lago’d face lolled to the perfect sky and he could drill up into her grotesquely oversized black bubble butt! 

“Oooohhh yeaaahhh! Harder bitch boy! Harder! What are you, a loser! A dork! You got more spice’n this weak shit! Gimme that pipe! CRACK MY FUCKIN’ PELVIS~~<3!”

He didn’t have more, this was all he had, all the muscle, all the strength all the aggression he could muster. And she just absorbed it. Took it like a warrior and demanded more like a spoiled princess! Even though her head kept lolling around and her arms hung slack. 

Tanya breathed in to belt out another round of nasty taunts. Thoroughly sick of them (even if his cock wasn’t) Tom wrapped her braid around her neck and pulled it tight with his teeth. Until she wheezed long and empty, flopping like a dying bird. It made the walls of her ass flutter like nothing else~<3

Then the eruption hit, another hydraulic, bestial pumping of male sludge, but closer this time. Closer to where his baby gruel belonged. In! Her! Bitch! Pussy! 

Thirteen seconds, that was how long he fired into the bigger woman. Every shot came with a strangled gasp and a shudder of that bodybuilder six-pack. 

Then they both collapsed, Tom thought she would
Splash down into the water like the broken bitch she was. But he was about to learn he’d just barely slaked her appetite, and it ran deeper, darker than he could ever imagine. 

“Whoo! WHOO daddy! That sure put a shine on me!” Tanya slapped the rocks, grunting like an amped-up soldier. 

When Tom pulled out of Tanya, aching and deliciously empty, he had only a few seconds of true peace before reality dropped a bucket of ice on his head. He’d just cheated on Amber! A-and it was the best sex he’d ever had! Oh god, The Plan was dead. Whole thing thrown out the window, Amber was gonna hate him for this. 

What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been he’d…had something forced him to not think? This wasn’t his first ride on the temptation carousel but he’d always fended off the single sluts. Something was different, something was wrong, what had Tanya done to him?

Legs shaking, he tried to get his legs under himself but they refused to straighten. Quivering as if he’d just sprinted a mile. His aching cock still stuck out, greasy with precum and anal lube. A slow dribble of white stuff oozed into the water, wisping out into long clouds under the crystal surf. 

“Mmmm, oh honey~ I haven’t gotten piped that good by an outsider in…fuck since ever~~<3” Pressed against the rocky shore, steel-striped braid still hanging from the corner of her mouth. Bikini bottoms dumped on the rock next to her man-made mountain of an ass without ceremony. She looked like an african war goddess, one of those ancient ones who embodied war and desire. Tom saw his semen ooze thickly from her caramel pucker, down the backs of her thighs, more wisps for the water. He backed away. 

“I-I need to go.” 

“Oh no you don’t~!”

Tom fell into the surf and Tanya dove after him. Panther sleek through the clear water. His hearing collapsed into muffled watery noises, water rushed into his mouth! Bubbles trailed to the rippling circle of sun high up above. Suddenly he was being pulled af first he thought it was a riptide; God’s punishment for his infidelity. But this riptide didn’t drag him out to sea, it dragged him back to the shore. It took the form of a pair of dark chocolate hands clamped on his ankles with a grip of steel. Hands with distinct bars of bone ruing their backs, with subtle tracks of veins. 

Tom burst from the water and fell onto the shore again, coughing up salty spume. His head hit a rock; ow. Suddenly Tanya was ON him, crotch-to-naked-crotch. Fat pussylips mushed and spread warm around his thick prick. Drooling that off-white lubricative syrup as surely as his rapidly re-stiffening wang dribbled onto his captor’s meticulously trimmed bush~~

“Gotcha handsome~”

“Let me go!” Tom struggled in the bigger woman’s iron grip. Strong enough to press bracelets of blue-black bruises into his wrists. 

“Not a fuckin chance. You’re fucking fresh aren’t ya?” Tanya’s wide, wide hips rocked against his cock. Slathering his already slick dick in even MORE LUBRICATION~~<3! “Ohhhhhhh yeah you are, this big ‘ol dick of yours is all meat, I can feel it. None of the juice is inside this shaft at all~<3 Fuck me with a chainsaw you’re gonna be a monster once it gets a hold of ya.”

Tom gasped, screwing his eyes shut as if that could shut out the sinfully delicious feel of this aged out rapper bimbo grinding on his cock~<3! 

“Wh-what serum? What’s it meam? Aaahhh stop it I just caaaame~~” He gasped for air, too hoarse to shout.

“Oh yeah, I bet it’s all kinds of sensitive right now isn’t it? All touchy-feely and burning~~~” Another belly-dancer-esque swirl of her hips. Lifting up his shaft, snail-trailing a thick dripping line of that strange vaginal slick. 

Against his conscience, against his fear and his shame his dick stood up HARD. Even though he’d just shot a volcano’s worth of spunk~~ Even though the age gap between them was just massive. 

Tanya’s bikini top strained beneath the weight of her massive breasts. Hanging over his mouth he could actually see her nipples stick through it. Tom told himself his throat felt dry because she’d taken so much of his fluids, because he was scared, not because he was thirsty. And the slosh of silicone or saline or whatever exotic fillers she’d injected into her awesome rack sounded creamy like rich, rich milk…

“Let me go…” Tom rasped. “Let me go Tanya, please… I’m engaged…”

“Not til you get that meat up in me right white boy~~”

“Wait… you said today was dangerous…”

“That’s right, I don’t have many eggs left. And I wanna pop out at least one brat before my ovaries shrivel up.”

Tom squelched inside her, the full length of his beefy dick engulfed in one thrust of those sinuous hips. Heat even smoother and silkier than Tanya’s asshole kegeled on his stinging meat. Pink sparks mixed into the rising red whelm of itchy, exhausted pain. 

White boy…that phrase stuck out to him. Not what she said but how she said it. He’d heard it said in that exact candor before, years ago. Not from anyone he really knew but… no wait it’d been a song. A song by a rapper Tom had had a massive crush on as a strapping young lad, not yet yoked and broken in. 

A female rapper, sarcastically described as fifty percent ass by his mother. The butt that’d broken his mind when she’d released the music video for Chocolate Pound Cake to screamingly manufactured controversy. A single released inside a case faced with an image of a triple-decked chocolate cake with lit birthday candles reading 55. But that hadn’t been her age back then; it’d been her hip measurement~~

And she was even more massive now! Tom struggled to comprehend such comical extremes of ASS~~<3<3 Tom’s recovered gooner brain obsessively crunched the numbers, she was just as endowed as Maggie, that had to put each cheek as 12” across. Do some addition, estimations, carry the one and; oh Jesus on a unicycle. Tanya’s hip measurement had to be 75 inches! At least! It was like she’d gained an inch of juicy dark meat for every year she’d been out of the game.

That rapper hadn’t made a man out of him, she’d made him a gooner. A year and a half of college down the drain because he couldn’t keep the image of her twerking, thong-clad posterior out of his head. How much cum had he shot in tribute to that amazing ass? Buckets and buckets, so much it was the reason his shaft had grown so thick and rugged; from the constant sweet abuse of the onahole and the slippery palm. More than he’d ever shot after he’d locked in, more than he’d ever given Amber. 

“Missy…” He rasped. 

The predatory bimbo cocked her head. “Hmm?”

“Missy…Quake…oh my god, you’re Missy Quake!”

Tanya stared down at him with those deep amber eyes, until he saw the original’s face behind the Botox and stubborn crow’s feet. 

“Ho-lee shit. You do know who I am.” She threw back her head, laughing like a hyena. “Nobody’s called me that in years.”

“Oh my god…” Tom repeated, overwhelmed. “I…I listened to all your music when I was a—NGH~<3!”

She’d kegeled on him again. Squeezed his masochistic prick so hard he saw her ruthlessly cut six pack clench~<3

“All my music?” He thought for some reason she’d be impressed. “Man, you must have shit taste.”

“Wh-wh-I mean you weren’t high brow but aaahhhhhhggkl…”

Another squeeze, she smeared a circle of lady cream around his crotch, with his dick still inside her. 

“I wasn’t even good, dummy. It was all show. Why’d you think all my songs came with a music video?” She began to bounce on him, subtle squishes from her clingy molten-silk core mingled with fleshy slaps. Massive twerk-meteors slamming his thighs until they stung. “So I could slink around like a bitch in heat, white boy~~ Stick this ass up in the air and shake it so losers’d give me money~<3 Heh heh heh, and judging by how your twitchin’ inside me I must’ve got real deep under your skin.”

Tanya—no, Missy Quake arched her back. A she leopard who’d bitten down on her prey’s most sensitive appendage~~<3 And just like a leopard; Missy Quake never let go. She’d releases a whole song about how that pussy clung on the dick…

WHAP WHAP WHAP!

How the dick went up with her hips. 

WHAP WHAP WHAP!

How she’d get her man-bitches cryin’

WHAP WHAP WHAP!

How boys’d nut in sixty seconds and she’d charge ‘em for the hour.

The bikini top came off. Missy Quake glistened nude on top of Tom. The sight made his balls LURCH~<3! Like they were full of MAGMA~<3! Stretched areolas showed themselves to him, at last after years of fantasizing Tom got to see what his idol’s nipples looked like. 

All that plastic had ruined them~<3 pulled into ovals tilted at ever so slightly odd angles to each other. Fat nipples the size of ripe cherries throbbed at Tom. Engorged at the thought of finally having prey to feed. 

Tanya dropped them on his face—

“No!”

Tom grabbed those heavy bra-busters and pushed with all his remaining strength. Missy Quake let out a surprisingly girlish yelp and she tumbled to his left; and dragged him with her. The clench of her pussy felt fucking HYDRAULIC~<3

He face-planted into that epic, synthetic rack. Nose slotted into the silicone valley between Tanya’s baby feeders. He pulled up gasping for air before the hag pheromones tricked his brain into playing hookey again. 

“You listen…” He gasped for breath. Plap plap plap… “Right now! I am not that guy anymore, Tanya.”

Plap plap plap…

“I don’t know what you think this is or what the he’ll you doped me with. But it stops now.” His tone became low, dangerous, a pride lion’s growl. 

Plap plap plap…

“Now let me go right now. And I might not call whatever passes for the police on this island, and report you for sexual assault. Is that clear?”

Plap plap plap…

Missy Quake’s eyes bulged, again her cunt shifted around him, seems to drool just a little more. As if she liked being ordered around by an aggressive man. Then she let out that obnoxious hyena cackle again. 

Plap plap plap…

“What’s so fucking funny?”

“I ain’t holding you for shit, Tommy babe.” Missy Quake winked at him. “Take a look down tough guy. See what you’re doing to me~<3”

Tommy did as she suggested, and he saw that he was still pumping in and out of her. Plap plap plap… Plap plap plap… Plap plap plap… It was pure instinct, his lizard brain didn’t know or care that this woman was fake from head to toe. It didn’t know and especially didn’t care that she was rotten to the core. All it knew was WOMAN~! BIG BOOB~! BIG BUTT~! FLAT TUMMY~! MAKE TUMMY BIG WITH BABY~!

Tom braced his palms against the stone on either side of her grinning face and pushed with all her strength. Their joined crotches let out a visceral suction-ing noise like a boot sunken deep into mud. He came loose with a pop and a deep ache that made him swear he pulled a muscle in his hip. 

This time, Tanya did not fight the escape. Did not rise to pursue. Because she had already claimed her prize, a second thick load of white stuff pouring all slow and sticky from her dark caramel cunt folds, like honey. 

Tom fled the scene, over the rocks he’d thought were impassable. Back to the sandy beach, back to Amber. While Missy Quake sunned herself on the hot stones. Naked without a glimmer of shame, bikini slowly washing away alongside the abandoned jet ski. 

“He’ll be back.” She said to herself, rolling an engagement ring between her long and tapered fingers. It was a nice piece of jewelery, nowhere near the diamonds she liked, but that tasteful loop of gold had something they did not. A capital T-O-M engraved on the outside. Followed by a heart and an abbreviated AMR, for Amber.

“And when he does…ooh he’s gonna dick-punch my womb clean out my mouth~<3”

==0==

[Present]

Stubbs was waiting for Tom on the other side of the rocks. Pacing back and forth, looking pensive. 

“Never pegged you a rock climber.” He said. 

Tom swayed when he landed. “I’m full of surprises.”

“Well maybe not so full now.” Stubbs eyed the rocks. “Thought you went jet skiing.”

“I did, got bored with it, thought I’d climb on the rocks.” Tom walked past Stubbs, trying not to look like he was trying to escape. 

Stubbs still followed. 

“Funny you say that, there’s only eleven left and I count twelve ports.” Stubbs angled back his straw hat. “Now I’d say if someone’d left one behind, specially if the lady he was riding with still hasn’t come back.”

“What’s it to you, huh!” Tom rounded on Stubbs. “What are you, a cop?”

“I’m just asking questions." 

“Well knock it off.”

Stubbs looked out over the water, the jet ski was back, but this time the rider was alone. She’d dropped someone off. 

“No laws against having some on the side but, I doubt your fiance’d like it.”

Tom smoothed back his hair. “That’s not me.”

“Still did it though.”

“But it’s not me. That wasn’t me back there it was…I don’t know.”

Stubbs stepped close to Tom, making sure nobody was listening in. “She roofie you?”

“No, nothing like that just. I don’t know, the second she got close I started…I couldn’t control myself.”

“Sounds like something a lot of adulterers say.” Stubbs said, Tom winced. He looked too miserable to fit the normal profile of a cheater. 

“I know, that’s why I know Amber’d never believe me.” 

“Makes a sick kind of sense, nobody believes a victim that looks like a bastard. It’s the perfect weapon.”

Stubbs looked Amber’s way, she’d just noticed Tom was back. She was coming. Stubbs filled Tom in on what he’d seen with Ibram. Some kind of mind-altering substance with an unknown delivery system. It’d hold up in a court of law, they figured, but not the court of wifely judgement. 

“Let’s say, for her sake, you fought the bitch off when she got handsy.” Stubbs suggested, surprised how easily the b-word slipped out. It fit. 

“Good idea, makes me sound heroic.”

==0==

Among Ron, Fred, and Ibram; none of them came back that night. Stubbs very precisely instructed the couple on how to secure their room. Neither Tom nor Amber were curious how he knew so much about security. Stubbs told them that after tonight they would all have to leave their luggage in the rooms to make them look lived in. But after tonight, they’d have to some someplace secure to bed down.

Stubbs stashed his revolver under his pillow, and crashed on his overfluffed bed. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamt he was getting the best blowjob of his life. Not just Megan but Nicky too were lapping all over his meat~~ A double-barrel blowjob from two platinum grade diva-skanks. All fresh and young and taut. Smoother and hotter than the balloon breasted hags who’d been jumping all over his cock this morning.

Speaking of cocks; his looked fucking MASSIVE~~ The kind of beefy thrust-slab that teenage boys dreamed of bulging out the front of their pants and teenage girls feared to unleash from a pair of pants. But the twins showed not one ounce of fear for the fist-sized mushroom head erupting between their firm, interlocking brown breasts. 

“You think he likes it, sis~?” Megan (or was that Nicky) asked.

“‘Course he does. What guy doesn’t like some big big boobies rubbing all over his meat~?” Nicky (or was that Megan) said back, shimmying her shoulders to bash her left breast against Stubbs’ pulsating meat, while the other audibly slapped her sister’s naked breast. 

The wet dream had pumped up their cup sizes into something fucking absurd~~ Ultra-firm and ultra-high-profile balls of flesh so contracted around the silicone inside them that they practically took on the shape of the implants themselves! Implants so huge that the sisters couldn’t even kiss. Those massively identical back achers just didn’t squish enough to let their sucking bolted-on lips touch.

So the sluts had come up with an oh so very innovative idea~<3 Slotting their massive racks together like teeth on a gear. One breast stuffed into the cleavage of the other. Each swollen mound of flesh barely deforming despite the heavy pressure~~<3

“Thanks for savin’ me sugar~ Those mean old bitches we’re gonna take my implants out and reverse by BBL. You saved my hot fucking bimbo body. So it’s only fair you get to fuck it however you like~~<3<3”

“Aw hell no! I hired this stud, he’s pounding my holes first! If he gets up your puss you’ll drain him so bad he won’t get a boner for a week!”

Gggrrrhhh~~<3! His own bloated pecker was stuffed into the epicenter of mess of augmented tit~! Crushed on all sides to the point where he could feel the silicone subtly slosh inside their perfect breasts. 

His improved cock was so long that its tip actually poked out from their combined cleavage~~ Level with their lips and leaking precum clouded with the salty white good stuff~<3 

Two long and tapered tongues slurped out to turbo-lick his tip. Fast and light laps like full body grinds from oiled-up fairy strippers~~ Then suddenly deep hot and wet suction when one of the twins dove her mouth onto his meat~~!!

“Aaaahhhgggkklllmulp…mulp…mulp…” Went Nicky (Or was that Megan?). 

“Hey! Quit hogging the dick I wanna taste!” Megan (Or was that Nicky?) whined.

It became a fight for sexual dominance, sister against sister! Tit to cum-slicked tit and tongue to lashing tongue, bouncing off each other and bulging up their massive tits until their stretched skin shined from the strain~~ 

“He’s my stud!”

“No he’s mine!”

Then it got weird. Every thrust and SQUISH seemed to pump filler from an unseen source into their mouths. Into their LIPS, into their TONGUES~<3 Before his very eyes he saw them gurgle and bubble and swell to impossible, inhuman sizes~! Lips bulging so big they reached their chins and pressed up their noses, mouths spreading to the corners of their faces. Swelling into stretched-smooth bulges of flesh as thick as pool noodles~~!! He felt a bubbling sensation deep inside them, as if the insides were water being brought to a slow simmer...

“What the fuck…” Dream Stubbs mumbled. “Holy shit what the fuck!”

Stubbs’s cock began to itch, the fullness of his shaft suddenly tightened, the whole oversized apparatus lurched and plump and tiny bit. But for his it felt like someone’d stuffed his cock on the rack and turned the wheels. The itch burrowed deeper down into places fingers couldn’t reach, even though Nicky and Megan’s new tongues were doing their damn best to slither down into his urethra and scratch it for him~~<3<3 But he wasn’t big enough for that, not just yet, but as the ache grew unbearable and stretch marks tigerstriped themselves along the root of his swelling meat, Stubbs knew in his bones they wouldn’t be stymied for long.

He felt like a water balloon, his tip was its nozzle, and their tongues were the hoses pumping in more hot bubbling itchy water. God, were they trying to pop his dick?

He tried to escape but the transforming black bimbos pinned him to his deck chair with inhuman strength! 

“Fuckin hell, you bi—” He caught himself. “Ladies must be hitting the tren.”

“Ssssthay, hoooooman.” The left bimbo mutant hissed. Clumsily, slowly, too large tongue fighting to form the vowels and consonants around those monstrous lips. 

“Give uth your theed~<3”

“Sorry, heh.” Cold sweat poured down his face. “Did that once and I got a kid that hates my guts.”

Stubbs thrashed in their grip but he may as well have been wrestling a pair of thirsty she-bears~~~ Those massive maws crashed around his bloated prick with a gut-churning, ball-boiling SLURP~~<3! 

Finally the devil sisters could make out, their lips totally enveloped his exposed prick. A mess of undulating suckling lip flesh and the wrinkles hard textures of a mouth. They FED, suction from deep inside inhuman lungs. Pleasure beyond imagining attacked Dream Stubbs’ bloated cock. He came hard and fast, jetting impossible volumes of jizz into their combined mouths. 

It didn’t stop, it became the lubrication for a demonic make-out session~<3 Succubus-like suction caused their tits to expand and contract while they drank SHOT after SHOT of nut from Stubbs’ aching balls with guttural vampress-like hunger. Balls which suddenly found themselves licked and lifted and cradled by a pair of tongues. Long tongues, tapered tongues as wide as a man’s palm and as thick as a deck of playing cards. Textured with onahole bumps as they slithered down into the mess of tit and spit and precum between their devilish maws. Past that morass of boner-stretching flesh to give Stubbs’ pumping nuts the same turbo-licking treatment~~<3<3!

Stubbs let out a scream, not a manly bellow or a howl of pain but a scream of true, actual fear. Even while he experienced the hardest cumshot of his entire life~!

His eyes snapped open and he was back in the rented room; the wall was open. And a long, thick, slick and shiny THING had emerged from the tunnel of concrete beyond. Stubbs’ bulging eyes raced up the full length of the serpentine body. 

No, not serpentine; plant. A massive vine stretched all the way across the room and latched onto his crotch!

Soft orchid-like petals engulfed Stubbs’ entire hip area. Sticky with sap to latch him in place while lattices of more tongue-like petals massaged his prick. 

It was in fact the best blowjob Stubbs had ever gotten. And he did not want it. 

“Holy shit! What the hell! Get off me!”

Stubbs kicked the overgrown vine in its rubberized body. But the muscular tube of plant matter just bent around the kick. Stubbs felt the hot, sap-drenched petals shift around his meet, and the corners of the venus-flytrap-like aperture streeeeetched around his cock curl to the left on its top and bottom.

“The fuck—Rrgh~<3 Kinda sideways smile is that?”

Seizing the thing by its vine body Stubbs pulled with all his strength. All that did was tighten the petals around his aching prick. The flower paused, for a second Stubbs thought he’d somehow stunned it. But then the thing began to shake like some kind of twisted muppet going ‘Mmmmmm!’ like he’d somehow insulted it. The plant bit back by closing all its petals around his meat and feeding him three rapid sucks in succession.

Schluhk schluhk schluhk~~<3<3!

It swayed back and forth, then up and down and then circling with sinuous grace. Really rubbing his abused meat around the inside of its sap-soaked suction chamber. It was teasing him. And every suck just seemed to suck more pleasure out of his meat.

Another unwanted jet of seed spattered into the orchid-thing’s suck-maw~~ An eruption so violent it stretched out for multiple seconds as surely as the sheer volume seemed to stretch out Stubbs’ burning urethra. Too much spunk through a too-narrow straw. Stubbs bit down another grunt, his mouth went dry as a cold sweat covered his bare chest in goosebumps. He hadn’t even shot this much stuff as a teenager~~ Suddenly this rustic motel room felt very small and very cold.

Stubbs forced himself off the high bed, he hit the hard wooden floor with a grunt. Blunt impact shooting through his hip and bum shoulder. The vine went with him, still latched on like a squirming eel, still SUCKING~~

“Jeeeezus, fuck~~” Stubbs bit down another groan. “The hell’re you putting all that throat in for I ain’t paying for this blowjob!”

Not even he bought his own bravado.

Numbness began to creep up Stubbs’ legs old soldier’s instincts told him what that meant; he was going to pass out soon. Adrenaline forced his vision into focus and drove the aged PI to his feet. Staggering as he dragged the heavy, semen siphoning plant with him by his manly part.

Another cock-stretching eruption shot pins and needles through his hips. Crashing down his legs to collide with the rising numbness. He collapsed against the chest of drawers, banging his head on the cheap motel flatscreen. Drawers were torn out of their slots, contents dumped on the ground as Stubbs searched for his gun.

Where was it? A fourth drawer stacked up on the pile. Also empty. Where was his gun? Stubbs racked his misfiring neurons but all he found in place of memories were the sleek, gyrating shapes of the plastic stuffed hags infesting this damn island. P-shaped legs spread and bolted-on balloon tits shoved in his face. Surgically re-tightened muscle pussies barely hidden behind sinfully narrow bikini thongs~~~ Mar a lago faces paralyzed by botox fighting to stretch rubber-stuffed lips into some warped parody of a friendly smile.

You never know, Mister Nubstein, one night here may very well...mm, change your opinion. That Emma Frost looking cunt’s last words pounded in his head.

Stubbs found a box of bullets before he found the gun that shot them. Blearily he slammed them on top of the dresser.

“Watch your damn self Eisko—whatever the fuck your name is. Those six’re going through your perfect tits.”

...wait, perfect tits? Where had that come from? From the plant, not him, and when Stubbs felt something sharp prick his cumslit; he realized he was about to get more from the plant~~<3

They were thorns, thin and hollow like hypodermic needles~~ But warm, feverishly warm as one plunged into each side of his throbbing meat~~ Khlook... He’d been stabbed before but never down there. Stubbs bit down on a grunt of deep, burning pain, as a third thorn penetrated the underside of his meat. Now it was latched, he couldn’t pull it off without shredding something precious.

“What the fuck are you?” Stubbs grunted and pounded his fist on the table.

The answer he got was the feel of something slithering into his shaft~~ THREE somethings all live and writhing, hot and half-molten GUMMY WORMS squirming within his cock. They couldn’t have been much thicker than a human hair, but they were being stuffed someplace nothing was ever meant to go. They felt HUGE~<3 Burning! Lashing! Masturbating it from the inside! As if the monstrous blowjob wasn’t bad enough! Yet another unwanted cum explosion shriveled his balls up like empty, aching raisins…<3

Why wasn’t anyone coming? Of all the times to not get a noise averse neighbor...wait, that was why the doors into the rooms had been so far apart! The damn walls were stuffed to the gills with soundproofing! He could have raised hell with a bullhorn and dynamite and nobody else in the complex would have so much as stirred. The others were probably getting attacked too.

One drawer left, bottom row on the right. Stubbs had to squat and dive for it but the vine pulled his prick hard. Burning pink fire shot through the grizzled detective’s abdomen, it made his vision blur and melt like he’d downed a bottle of mystery pills~~<3 Stubbs felt his legs collapse, the floor rushed up to smash the side of his head harder than a monday morning hangover.

Then he felt the trio of squirming worms disconnect from their mother. A soft snapping feeling and then a triple-barreled tug as all three anchored DEEP into his erectile tissue. The thorns retracted and Stubbs breathed easier. But he barely had time to get his fingers around the drawer’s handle before the filaments began to secrete their expansive VENOM~~<3<3

Oozing, trickling, his mouth got even dryer as the filaments robbed his body of moisture. Dragging the liquid into themselves and secreting it out again as a cold, sticky serum~~ Thick...SLOSHING inside his shaft~~~ Suddenly the erection he’d gotten on the beach felt like kid’s stuff~<3 Stubbs felt his skin stretch, this tight pulling sensation, radial in all directions all over every inch of his cock…

Stubbs felt himself hyperventilate, he heard a noise emit from himself, a half silent gasp of weakening air. His meat began to tingle. Electric inside his tightening urethra~~<3<3 Warm and prickly, he thrashed against the vine’s sweetly evil kiss, and he felt the thick syrupy fluid slosh inside his shaft.

Oh god.

Then he GAINED an INCH~~<3<3

Deep vacuum suction made Stubbs hallucinate a giant succubus riding him. Red She-Hulk with wings and horns and a tail slapping his busted balls~~<3<3 Crimson thighs as thick as treetrunks clamping his hips while her cunt of endless rippling sap-soaked petals. His shaft began to burn in pink flames again~~<3<3 Ruined nerves adapting to love the pain… Overwhelmed and obese in the dick, Stubbs felt his meat fatten at the sight of hypersexual evil hellbitch bouncing on top of him.

This time when he came, nothing came out. The succubus laughed and Stubbs felt shame grip his balls.

“Aw, what is it, mortal scum? Am I not to your tastes?” Black lips were licked by a forked purple tongue. “What if I looked like this~<3?”

She changed before his eyes, Stubbs expected her boobs to bulge bigger or her lower body to thicken; no, something worse happened. She got older~~ Crow’s feet crept around her eyes, subtle wrinkles in the face as if he was watching an aging montage. She shriveled on top of him, sagged and sallowed like wasome invisible vampire was sucking all the fullness, all the plumpness roundness and beauty was gone. The she-devil sagged in sheafs of wrinkles atop him.

“Christ!”

Stubbs’ gut churned he tried to wrestle the ugly hag off his crotch but his body just...wouldn’t...move! Trapped beneath the last woman in the world he’d want to be inside, Stubbs saw the augmentations begins before his very eyes.

Those sagging tubes of wrinkled tit lifted up taut and roung again. Then they grew, they grew FAKE~<3 Sagging in sudden lurches only to balloon with saline into unnatural spheroid cannons born not of man but an operating table~~<3

Another inch was gained~<3 Another dry orgasm wracked Stubbs. The hallucinatory succubus cackled as her cunt tightened.

“Now that’s more like it~!” The old succubus cackled, No longer a youthful muscle mommy but an aging out pornstar~~ One who desperately worshipped the knife and the implant to stay relevant. To keep the penises of men young enough to be her GRANDSONS steel-hard. Happily dispensing money as their jaded GILF idol replaced her fading beauty with the factory-extruded hotness of a mass produced old fuckdoll~~<3<3

That revelation alone made Stubbs gain three more inches~~~ A growing sense of tightness, of constriction lovingly crushed his agonized, masochistic shaft~~ Stretched from the inside by the ever increasing volume of that syrupy cold serum and crushed from the outside by that unnaturally snug cunt. Every nerve in his shaft crushed between a pussy and a hard place.

Then the nasty bitch became perfect. Those signs of age fading out under ever thicker layers of botox, ruthless applications of moisturizing cream. A facelift and then a tummy lift and then skin bleaching and then countless other procedures. That old pornstar had replaced the red skinned succubus; it was Maggie Eiskönigin again. A fantasy of her that was ten feet tall. Cackling behind a diamond-encrusted hand as Stubbs let out another pathetic little poot of precum, another failed orgasm.

That old succubus who’d been so ancient she looked like she was falling off her own bones; that had been Maggie’s soul.

“Good boy, you belong to me now~<3” The icy cunt pursed her blue lips. “But I do rather like my men to hose down my sterile womb~~”

She leaned over, plastic bowling ball tits hanging over his face. Massive bony hands pinned his arms over head. He felt the prick of two more thorns; on his scrotum.

“No… You bitch let me go…” He no longer had the strength to yell.

“Cry for me, sweet young thing~~”

Stubbs did not give his hallucination of the island’s mistress the satisfaction. Clenching his jaw, remembering his rage and the gun so close at hand. Even as his balls swelled with unnatural girth and the filaments squirmed inside his testicles~~ Detached anchored and swelled; Within moments they were pressing against the insides of his thighs. Sloshing full with thick, THICK seed~~<3<3!

“Oh yessssss~~” The hallucination of Magdalene Eiskönigin hissed, cunt undulating around him. Alternately the overtrained tunnel of dick-breaking muscle and the squirming lattice of slick orchid petals. Her voice cut in and out.

“You are almost…”

Suck~<3

“One of our livestock…”

Suck~<3

“Just a few more inches on your cock…”

Suck~<3

“And you will be our slave…”

Suck~<3

Stubbs crawled across the bedroom, fighting off the hallucinations while the vine kept right on doing its best to suck his balls out through his urethra~~ Feeling like a damn fool; Stubbs remembered his gun was still under his pillow. After half a minute of crawling and a good three inches of girth on his scrotum, Stubbs felt the familiar curve of his revolver against his palm. It was loaded. The hallucination kept monologing.

“Twelve inches long...oooohhhh that is barely the minimum for women of our caliber…”

Suck~<3

“When we are done with you, those poor little young cunts from the outside world will scream at the sight of you—”

Pop-fshhhh…

A silent gunshot. Bright green blood spread from a ragged hole in the devil vine’s body. It thrashed and detached from Stubbs’ groin with an earsplitting shriek. Stubbs felt his bloated penis slap sorely onto the wooden floor. The thing slithered backwards. Away from him. Back to the open door.

Stubbs rasped out a string of cobalt blue curses and emptied his gun at the monster. The lamp next to the open book case exploded in a shower of porcelain. A pillow on the bed spat out a fountain of feathers. A book on the open bookshelf did the same with printed confetti. The wall above the door got a glory hole; specially for those men with .45 caliber dicks. Even the concrete in the tunnel beyond got a white scuff mark on the ceiling.

But they were all misses. Stubbs hauled himself to his feet and tried to chase the monster down. Already fumbling with a stripper clip. But the sore, blazing delicious CLUB of flesh between his legs weighed him down. Slapped his thighs opposite the swings of his now orange sized balls.

He couldn’t run straight.

By the time he reached the secret door, the devil vine had already body-checked some kind of pressure plate on the wall. It hissed closed with hydraulic speed.

“You limp dicked faggot son of a bitch…” Stubbs rasped, still too parched to raise his voice. “Get back here…”

But he knew the thing was never coming back. Stubbs tore every book off the shelf, trying to find the one with the secret lever to open the damn thing. No dice, even when he felt around the molding and along the top of the heavy oak box. The secret door only opened from one side.

Stubbs sank down before the bookcase, weakly thumping his fist on it. Feeling violated in ways he couldn’t even describe. Even while his abused cock throbbed molten HOT, tingled with unnatural, chemical joy. Sloshing like one of those long waterballoons, but overfilled and rigid. Full of spiced molasses instead of boring old water.

He was thirsty, more thirsty than he’d been in years. Stumbling drunken and already battered bright red on the insides of his thighs the haggard private dick made for his bathroom. Gun flashing at every nook and cranny. Imagining secret doors behind the painting over the bed and in the back of the closet.

Into the bathroom, he tore the faucet open and gulped sweet water down by the handful until the scream for moisture abated. His cock lay long and thick and sap-slathered on the crotch-height marble sink top. Ruined and MASSIVE, a full foot long and as thick as a bodybuilder’s forearm~~ Pocked with tiger stripes of stretch marks, a thick vein ran along its top now, to match the hot-dog sized cum channel running along the underside.

It was not dark or ruddy, the erection didn’t come from his own blood; it came from that weird, cold alien fluid. Swollen and distorted, bent to the right even while the massive glans lay twisted a few degrees out of perfectly straight up and down. Pale and shiny like the marble it slowly lub-dubbed upon.

Skin that felt like stretched latex when Stubbs grabbed it~~<3<3! Peeling back a foreskin as thick as a layer of onion to expose a grotesquely asymmetrical glans the size of an eight ball~<3

Plastic to the touch, unyielding no matter HOW hard he squeezed~~ Every touch boiled the depraved molasses filling his shaft. The constant aching pressure forced him to keep changing his grip to find a comfortable way to wank the beast~~ There wasn’t one. Every technique fell short of hefting the leaden weight of such an obscene flesh pipe. Several times it slipped out of his hands and whacked painfully on the edge on the sink.

This only made it leak MORE~~~<3

Stubbs felt like he was polishing the hard, unyielding, smooth post of a bed. Except it was intimately attached to him, and he felt EVERYTHING… He didn’t know how long he wrestled his new monster for. Sleep never found him for the rest of the night. Even the brush of those rich sheets on his shaft was enough to make the mutated prick ooze precum. Every half hour he had to get out to empty his balls again, bleary from intense wet dreams of hard-bodied MILF and GILF bimbos.

Come the next morning; Detective Stanley Nubstein (Stubbs to his patrons and Stan or Stanny-boy to his few friends still above ground) realized his cock would never be soft ever again~~<3