Chapter Text
There was a light tap as oak met soil. No one else could hear it, but Clark could. The unassuming sound would remain in his memory forever. The oak coffin that carried his father had completed its final descent. His stomach bubbled hollowly. Slowly mourners stepped forward and began dropping roses into the six foot hole. There were murmurs in his ear, people speaking to him, Clark couldn’t hear them. Gentle hands would press on his shoulder expressing condolences, Clark didn’t feel them. The turnout had been impressive for the late Jonathan Kent. Clark wasn’t concerned with the crowds, he wasn’t even paying attention to who had shown up. All of his senses were solely focused on his father during the entire service. The only one there he thought of other than Jonathan was Martha. He had not left her side, both of their hands intertwined like it was the only thing holding their world together.
Eventually the crowds began to disperse. The only sound was now the whistling of the wind, which made the golden wheat fields that surrounded them look as if they were rolling underneath the cloudless blue sky. There was one more guest who still lingered. He did not have to look to know who it was. Clark knew her presence and her scent, she wore a rosy perfume, it was one of his favorites. Lana Lang waited behind the grieving couple for a moment. She considered saying something, or waiting long enough to get Clark’s attention. She decided to leave without a word. Now it was just the two of them.
It didn’t seem right. He was staring at the grave of his father, but it didn’t seem real. Or maybe he was in front of another Jonathan Kent. He desperately wished that was the case but it wasn’t. Clark finally tore his eyes from the grave and looked over the fields. This is wrong, he thought to himself. He felt Martha’s hand shift slightly and she looked up at him. “Clark?” she lightly asked. It was the first word either of them had said to one another all day. Her voice tore right through him. Emotion rose from his chest and began to close up around his throat. He clenched his teeth to keep it down. His nose began to burn and his vision blurred. It wasn’t fair, how could he continue to exist in a world without him. Clark shook and he managed to finally choke out “Of all…the things I can do.” At that his mother pulled him into a hug with a force that nearly caused Clark to fall. They swayed and he felt her fingers press into his back as if she could shield him from all the adversity of the world. She moved her hands to hold her son's face and nearly had to stand on her toes to press her forehead into his. Clark opened his eyes and tears relentlessly streamed down his face. He met his mother’s eyes, to his surprise they were focused and resolute. “Look at me son.” She said firmly. “This wasn’t you. There was nothing you could have done.” She paused for a moment, Clark waited. “It was…just Jonathan’s time.” She managed to say before falling into his arms sobbing. Ma was always strong for him, he needed to be strong for her.
They had finally begun the long descent down the hill of the Smallville cemetery. Every step he would almost instinctively pause as if he had forgotten something, when he knew he hadn’t. Clark opened the door of their truck for his mother, then assumed the driver's seat. He started the engine and pulled out of the parking space. It was haunting driving Jonathan’s truck Clark thought, as he was suppressing memories of when Pa first taught him to drive. The flatness of Kansas and the endless wheat fields paired with the long unchanging roads left Clark too much time to think. It felt as if he were burning alive now. The drive seemed to be taking eternity. He could be home now if he pleased, but Ma needed him. They did not speak for the whole drive and to Clark’s relief finally made it back to the farm. The Kent’s did not have a large home, some land for cows and crops, but it was comfortable. Clark walked his mother to the living room and sat her down in her favorite chair. She soon fell asleep.
Martha awoke with a jolt. It took her a moment to gather where she was. She nearly called for Jonathan before her eyes met his empty armchair and reality set in. She took a deep breath and slowly rose from her chair. She shuffled out of the living room, slower than she used to Martha thought to herself. “Clark?” Martha called down the hall. There was no response. “Clark?” She called again, opening the door to his room. Once she entered she took a sharp exhale and rubbed her eyes, exhausted from grief. The room was empty.
Wind whipped across Clark’s face and he panted heavily. He had passed the Nebraska state line a little more than a minute ago. It was the fastest he had made it out of the state just by sprinting. With a small hop he planted his feet into the ground causing friction with a force that pulled the ground up, but it slowed him to a stop. Clark was sweating and placed his hands on his head to assist his breathing. The run didn’t make things better. He was still feeling it all, “I need you dad.” Clark whispered to himself. He looked down and saw his bare feet, his shoes had worn away completely not long after making it out of Smallville. He started to dig his toes into the upturned soil beneath him. He closed his eyes and began to hum lightly.
Clark faded into a memory from his youth. He was hiding in their wheat field, covering his ears. There was so much noise, wind against the trees, dogs barking car alarms all from miles around. His vision would go from seeing farther than anyone should, to seeing directly through objects. This was not the first time he had one of these spasms. “What are ya doin here son? Ma was calling you know better than to ignore…” the familiar voice stopped. He had noticed Clark curled on the floor holding his head with a wide eyed and confused expression. “Hey, Hey.” the voice said, adopting a softer tone. “Is it loud again?” he asked. Clark could only manage to look in the voice’s general direction and nod. “Pa?” Clark finally asked as his senses were coming back to him. “Welcome back Kiddo!” Jonathan said with a smile. Clark looked up and saw his father seated next to him. He was waiting for his spasm to be done. “I hate those.” Clark grumbled rubbing his head. Jonathan studied him scratching his chin. “Can I show you something?” Jonathan asked. “Yes.” Clark responded, wondering what his dad was up to. Jonathan stood up and held up his right leg and took off his boot. He did the same with the left. Clark watched curiously. “I like to do this to relax sometimes. I just bury my toes in the soil, and wriggle them. Like you are grabbing handfuls of dirt with your feet.” Jonathan chuckled. Clark stood and started following his dad’s example. He took off his shoes and dug his feet into the soil. “Ew” Clark giggled as he felt the soil moving beneath his toes. “Yeah it will feel a little strange, but trust me it works.” Jonathan said. He tilted his head back and took a deep breath of the air, closed his eyes and began to hum. Clark mimicked his dad’s gestures. “I don’t really get it.” Clark said after a moment of humming with his dad. “Well it's like…” Jonathan started. “I mean really…” He began again but stopped. He let out a light sigh of frustration, “Sorry Clark, I’m not great with my words y’know.” He was right, Clark thought his dad was very knowledgeable on many aspects of life even though he couldn’t help him with his homework anymore after 3rd grade. “The Earth just feels good sometimes.” Jonathan added.
“Earth feels good.” Clark said, with a smile breaking across his face for the first time in awhile. Opening his eyes to an empty field with trees in the distance. He looked around and Jonathan was not there. His smile faded and the raw emotion of the day swelled in his chest again. Clark clinched his fist and something more than sadness was taking hold of him now, anger. He gritted his teeth and his breaths were getting heavy. His gaze focused on the sky and something that had been bubbling in his stomach for the whole day was unleashed in the form of a yell. As Clark screamed he made a powerful leap and as fast as a speeding bullet his body launched toward the sky. Clark’s throat scratched from how loud he was screaming, however his yell was merely a whisper to the sound of the wind in his ears. His speed gained and he climbed higher and higher. He flexed his body and focused, he had never gotten this high before. Keep climbing, keep climbing, he repeated to himself. He shut his eyes as he entered the clouds and broke through the other side completely drenched. The wind cut like knives against his now wet body, it didn’t bother him though. Clark opened his eyes and they immediately widened, “Woah.” he muttered as he was met with the sublime view of the world above clouds. The sun shined brightly, casting rays that Clark basked in. He couldn't resist another smile. It was the greatest he had ever felt in his life. Strange considering the day he has had. Clark was so enamoured with the view he had not realized he began descending. “Woah.” He said again, a little more concerned. Now his descent speed had hastened and he was nearing a full free fall “Woah!” Clark yelled now very concerned.
Clark's body was hurling through the air chaotically. He had no control over his velocity and was far from finding it. His vision was earth, sky, earth, sky as he twirled through the air screaming. The ground was getting closer and Clark braced himself. He smashed into the ground creating a crater, his speed was great though he kept bouncing off the ground. Creating one man sized crater after the next. Clark’s body had finally stopped but his head was still spinning. His black suit he was wearing was now completely ruined. He ached in places he didn’t even know you could ache. “Oof.” Clark groaned.