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A calm silence fills every corner of the studio, save for the dull hum of the radio playing in the background. The usual bickering between Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang is evidently missing from the scene; the mere absence of their voices turns the studio into a foreign place. What normally feels lively and chaotic now exhibits an empty feeling, like life has been sucked out of it and all the things inside merely exist with no purpose. Aside from the radio, there is the clock that hangs in the room, ticking away without a care. It’s deafening in a studio that has no Cheng Xiaoshi.
The rooms begin to darken along with the clouds that start to gather outside— a clear indication that rain was soon to occur. Lu Guang turns one of the lights on and takes a seat on the couch, picking up a book that has been lying on the table for a few days now— no time to put it away. He looks out of the window to watch the clouds as they prepare for their downpour— looking angrier and darker by the second. It could happen any moment now and he wants to see the first drop to taint their window.
The studio is closed for the day; they needed to restock on a few items and take a break from their normal routine of taking special requests from customers. It was a small rule they added for themselves not too long ago, when Lu Guang grumbled about his eyes beginning to hurt from sifting through pictures non-stop. Cheng Xiaoshi was the one that was adamant about taking a break from their requests at least once a week, claiming that a tired Lu Guang was no help if he’s unable to focus, and Lu Guang couldn’t help but agree. Sure, he hates the idea of pushing back work when they could be completing another request for a client, but if Lu Guang is too tired to the point where he’s unable to look into pictures for more than 10 minutes, then it would only be counterproductive. Since then, they’ve taken it upon themselves to relax whenever they find a chance to sit down and take a breather.
Today was meant to be one of those days. With the studio closing up earlier than usual, Cheng Xiaoshi decided to step out quickly to grab them something to eat. His stomach sounded louder than thunder, one would think he hadn’t eaten all day, but with a bashful smile, Cheng Xiaoshi made a comment about how he was still a growing boy and he needed to eat whenever he could. Lu Guang didn’t get a chance to respond, Cheng Xiaoshi let the door slam behind him— jacket in one hand and his phone in the other, shouting about coming back soon. But as Lu Guang watches the clouds darken with every minute that passes, and the lack of text from Cheng Xiaoshi, he wonders if he’ll manage to avoid the rain that’s inevitably about to come.
The clock ticks away in the silence— the radio no longer playing as Lu Guang turns it off in favour of the book he wants to read, yet there’s no sight of Cheng Xiaoshi. The sound of finger scraping across the paper is heard every few minutes; he flips through the book absentmindedly— mind barely processing the letters that swim in front of him on each page as more pressing concerns take over his thoughts instead. The words merge with the rest of his background, now secondary to more pressing matters that take priority. His eyes glance towards the door every now and then in hopes of seeing Cheng Xiaoshi, but the door remains unmoved.
It hasn’t been long since he last checked his phone; he keeps tapping on the screen in hopes of seeing a familiar name pop up. It’s not as though Cheng Xiaoshi can’t be responsible and won’t be able to figure out whether or not to wait out the rain. It’s just that Lu Guang knows he doesn’t necessarily enjoy this weather— at least, getting stuck in it with no proper shelter to seek. Despite being an overly optimistic person, Cheng Xiaoshi still has things he doesn’t like, and rain happens to be one of the top things on that list, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Cheng Xiaoshi was rushing his way back just to avoid the downpour.
Just as he’s about to send another text, he receives one that’s short and straight to the point, leaving no room for questions.
Back in 5. It read, and Lu Guang instantly understood that Cheng Xiaoshi would be back soon. With his stamina and long limbs, combined with the impending arrival of the weather he detests, Lu Guang is sure he’ll be here in much less than 5 minutes. The moment his text came through, the weather turned for the worst as if mocking Cheng Xiaoshi for being unable to reach home in time. Laughing in his face for still being so ill prepared. Rain starts thumping against the window as if someone was throwing pebbles. There’s no opportunity to find the first droplet of rain— not when the window is immediately covered, the sight of the streets distorted by the now rain-covered window. The weather forecast mentioned nothing about heavy rain, probably one of those things that catches everyone off guard, and because of that Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t think to take an umbrella with him. What was meant to be a quick run to the store to buy food turned out to be an obstacle course to find the best route to take to avoid being swarmed by the rain.
Lu Guang sighs and presses his thumb and middle finger against his temples— a headache already brewing. He can already sense the type of mood Cheng Xiaoshi will be in once he gets home; he already hears the whining and pouting in his head. The sulking and moping around like he’s an abandoned puppy that had been left in the rain. He imagines overdramatic sighs and eyes so full of emotion that Lu Guang just wouldn’t be able to say no if he were to ask him for anything. Cheng Xiaoshi has a way with his facial expressions that has Lu Guang weak to him, but he’d never tell him that.
The rain becomes heavier with every second passing— the sound of raindrops beat mercilessly against the window, and the once silent studio fills with only the sound of rain pelting down without any indication of stopping anytime soon. He glances out once more and watches people running across the street with anything in their hand to hide themselves from the rain. Some are holding their jackets over their heads while others use their bags. He notices children giggling and squealing as they hold their face up to the sky; tongues out in an attempt to catch a raindrop. A complete contrast to the adults who seem miserable to be outside right now. He can sympathise with them though; he’s nice and warm— dry from the rain while he watches from inside, while they are yet to find shelter.
He sets his book down on the table— he’ll have to return to it again; he barely remembers what the last few chapters were about, and stands up to make his way to their shared bathroom. A warm bath right after being attacked by the downpour will do wonders for Cheng Xiaoshi’s mood. Just as he is quick to upset, it is also easy to find ways to help raise his spirits as well.
Lu Guang has lived with Cheng Xiaoshi long enough to understand him like the back of his hand. A single glance is all he needs to gauge the kind of mood Cheng Xiaoshi is in on that specific day. Sure, Cheng Xiaoshi isn’t scared of being expressive and wears his heart upon his sleeve, but it’s the smaller things that go under the radar for other people that Lu Guang is able to pick up on.
The slight flare of his nose when he’s angry, the biting of his lips when he’s nervous or stressed, the fiddling of his fingers when he wants to do something he shouldn’t. Lu Guang notices the excessive blinking when he’s out of it— a way to try and anchor himself back to reality, and how he gets touchier than usual when he’s in a bad mood. There’s nothing about Cheng Xiaoshi that Lu Guang doesn’t love. Except maybe when he acts first and thinks later, but he knows he never does it with ill intention.
The sound of water running fills the whole bathroom as Lu Guang starts preparing a warm bath for Cheng Xiaoshi to come back to. He mixes cold and hot water, making sure it’s to the right temperature and nods to himself when it’s just about right. It’s best to act on Cheng Xiaoshi’s possible bad mood immediately than to let it fester, and Lu Guang knows a warm bath always helps ease the tension that sneaks into every nook and cranny of Cheng Xiaoshi’s bones.
It doesn’t take too long to fill up, and the timing proves to be perfect as the telltale signs of Cheng Xiaoshi finally entering the studio can be heard from across the hallway. He grabs a towel to dry off Cheng Xiaoshi before he has the chance to create a trail of water all through the studio, and leaves the bathroom with the door shut behind him.
Cheng Xiaoshi is certainly a sight to behold. With his clothes turning into a darker shade because of the rain, and his jacket heavy on his body— tightly hugging his figure in the most uncomfortable way. The food that he initially went out to buy is now sitting in a soaking wet bag that hangs sadly from the tips of his fingers. His posture remains slightly slouched; his shoulders slumped and his arms hang as if he has no energy left in him. Cheng Xiaoshi has a look of defeat painted across his face— eyes holding like a baby who had his favourite toy stolen from him, and a pout so prominent it makes Lu Guang feel guilty for something he didn’t even do. And lastly Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair. Still evidently wet at the top but the tips of his hair that twists around his neck are already beginning to curl— his natural hair pattern slowly making itself known, and Lu Guang can’t help the small smile on his face when he notices it.
These days, Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t often let his natural curls show, claiming that straightening it would just be more convenient while going about his daily life. So he would always spend the first hour of his morning making sure every strand of hair was as straight as a line. Initially, this was something he would do right after taking a shower at night— drying it with their hairdryer before sitting down crosslegged on the floor with the straightener next to him, ready to get rid of any signs of his hair pattern. It took some time, but after long term effort from Qiao Ling and Lu Guang trying to persuade him to let his hair breathe at night, this became a thing for the mornings.
When they first met, Lu Guang had no idea Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair was anything but straight, although he could argue that his hair pattern was the least of his concerns. It wasn’t until Lu Guang finally moved into the studio and on that very night, Cheng Xiaoshi plopped onto the sofa, towel slung around his shoulders as he let the little droplets of water be soaked up by it against the nape of his neck. He was casual in the way he leaned into Lu Guang to see what he was reading, and it was only when his hair began drying that Lu Guang noticed the soft curls that were beginning to form.
Much to his dismay, they were gone before he could appreciate them properly; by the time Lu Guang had come out of the shower, Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair was already being straightened. Any signs of a wave pattern completely gone with no trace left behind. As time went on, Lu Guang occasionally caught glimpses of the head full of curls but he quickly realised they never lasted too long.
Now, with a bit of reluctance at the beginning, there are some days when Cheng Xiaoshi will leave his hair alone instead of assaulting it with heat from his hair dryer as well as the straightener. Those are the days Lu Guang looks forward to every time, even if he doesn’t say it out loud. He likes the way it sits on his head, no hair tie to hold his hair back, instead it frames around his face and bounces and falls in all sorts of directions with how much energy Cheng Xiaoshi has to release.
However, old habits die hard and Cheng Xiaoshi still prefers to straighten his hair whenever he has the chance.
“Lu Guang.” Cheng Xiaoshi whines the moment he sees Lu Guang appear through the doorway— his bottom lip juts out even more as if to make a point, “it wasn’t meant to rain today.”
Lu Guang feels his heart skip a beat at the sight of Cheng Xiaoshi, and another when he pouts directly at him. He steps forward and watches with amusement as the pout on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face seems to grow bigger. He pries the dripping bag out of his grasp and sets it down on the counter, making a mental note to wipe it later before the rainwater leaves an ugly dry stain on the surface. Then, just as Cheng Xiaoshi is about to launch himself into Lu Guang’s arms, he throws the towel at his face.
“You are wet,” Lu Guang states, rolling his eyes when he hears an offhanded ‘that was you last night.’ comment that Cheng Xiaoshi makes, more to himself than for Lu Guang to hear, “dry yourself. Or take a bath, I’ve already prepared it for you.”
At the mention of a warm bath already prepared for him, Cheng Xiaoshi lights up immediately and pulls Lu Guang into his arms while conveniently ignoring Lu Guang’s protests. He grimaces when Cheng Xiaoshi makes skin to skin contact because of how cold he is and has a mind to push him away and urge him to get in the bathtub.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever, I’m glad you’re mine.” He breathes out, nuzzling his face into Lu Guang’s neck. When the words come pouring out of his mouth, Lu Guang feels his face heat up, effectively combating how cold Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair feels against his cheek. He feels his heartbeat pick up like the sound of horses galloping and he prays only he can feel how fast it’s going.
It’s been months since they started dating. Lu Guang would argue it came out of nowhere, especially since it was on a random day whilst they were working on a request for a client. Cheng Xiaoshi, drunk on his heavy emotions after a particular dive, confessed to Lu Guang as soon as he left the picture. It had been so sudden that Lu Guang almost rejected him— flustered by the confession and the way Cheng Xiaoshi seemed to stare deep into his soul. It’s not often that Lu Guang is caught off-guard, yet Cheng Xiaosh managed to do just that. His heart thumped wildly against his ribcage, begging to be let out and say the words the Lu Guang had difficulty saying. With one last push from himself, he confessed to Cheng Xiaoshi in his own thought out way, and by the end of it his heart felt as though it had been lodged in his throat. The next morning, despite laying naked beside each other with their bare skin touching ever so slightly, they sat together after they washed up and confirmed the previous night had really happened and wasn’t just a wishful dream.
Cheng Xiaoshi was quick to flaunt their relationship, calling him boyfriend whenever he had the chance, especially in front of their close friends. Their friends seemed used to it despite all and only Lu Guang seemed surprised the first time he suddenly called him that in front of everyone. Chaos ensued only hours later once Xu Shanshan realised it wasn’t another one of Cheng Xiaoshi's pranks and they were in fact being serious.
On the other hand, Lu Guang was a lot more reserved compared to him, and it wasn’t often that he outright addressed their relationship— he has his ways of showing his affection for Cheng Xiaoshi and the latter has never complained about his methods.
Still, despite the numerous times Cheng Xiaoshi has called him his boyfriend, Lu Guang never gets used to the label or the butterflies that cause havoc to his stomach, just like the first day Lu Guang heard Cheng Xiaoshi call him that.
“You’re getting my clothes wet,” Lu Guang mutters while making no attempt to push him away, instead he brings his arms up and begins to take his jacket off for him, “the water’s going to become cold by the time you get in.” His fingers fiddle with the strands of hair that are beginning to expose the true pattern of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair.
Cheng Xiaoshi hums and makes no effort to move. He wraps his arms around Lu Guang, drawing him closer as he wedges his face deeper into the crook of Lu Guang’s neck — if going any further is even possible, and peppers light kisses on his neck.
“Can you warm me up first? It’s really pouring out there.” He brings his face out from where it’s hidden and instead leans his forehead against Lu Guang’s. From this proximity, Lu Guang can see every little detail on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face and the way his eyes crease the moment they make eye contact. The close proximity suddenly flusters Lu Guang and he lightly pushes Cheng Xiaoshi away, ignoring the way he whines at the loss of warmth.
“If you’re cold, go take a bath.” He mutters while looking away, willing the blush on his face to calm down. He brings a hand up to his cheek to soothe the heat that bubbles under the surface.
For a moment it’s silent and he wonders if he unintentionally upset Cheng Xiaoshi especially since his mood has already been soured from the weather he was caught up in. But the moment he turns to look at him, Lu Guang realises that’s not the case at all. Instead, Cheng Xiaoshi is looking at him with adoration filling his eyes and a smile so faint it’s easy to miss. He blinks rapidly and looks down at his hands; Cheng Xiaoshi is slowly slithering his fingers around Lu Guang’s until they’re both firmly interlocked.
“Can you keep me company?” He asks in a quiet tone, so unlike Cheng Xiaoshi yet it’s just like him simultaneously.
Lu Guang knows there are times when Cheng Xiaoshi wants nothing other than his presence to accompany him while he does his own thing. On most occasions, Cheng Xiaoshi is a loud and bubbly person, always up for an adventure or always looking to socialise with other people. But then there are moments like this where he appreciates the quiet for what it is and only seeks the comfort of Lu Guang’s presence, even if neither of them are talking.
“Mhm.” With the jacket now neatly placed on their coat rack by the door, Lu Guang leads Cheng Xiaoshi to the bathroom. Without many words exchanged between each other, Cheng Xiaoshi strips out of his wet clothes with much trouble and immediately gets into the bathtub, sighing in contentment when the warm water embraces him up to his chin. He leans back, flinching when his skin comes in contact with the tub but that’s quickly brushed aside for the comfort he gets from the water. His eyes are closed for a moment as he relishes the way his muscles begin to lose their tension and he’s left feeling like jelly.
Lu Guang pulls the stool they leave aside in the bathroom for moments like this but he doesn’t get the chance to sit down before Cheng Xiaoshi is pulling his arm out of the water and grabbing onto Lu Guang’s hand with a bit of tenderness. His face holds a sort of emotion that Lu Guang only sees when he’s being vulnerable; it’s like the warmth of the water has wiped away any sort of facade that he may have been putting up, now only showing what he truly feels.
“Join me, won’t you?”
It’s not hard to give in to Cheng Xiaoshi’s whims, especially when he looks up at him with eyes that shine so brightly under the light, brows slightly upturned and his head slightly tilted to the side. It’s become a subconscious habit for him whenever he wants something from Lu Guang, and without fail, it always works. Although, some would argue that even without him trying, Cheng Xiaoshi could get Lu Guang to give into his small, childish wishes.
“Hm?” Cheng Xiaoshi prompts once more, gently tugging on Lu Guang’s hand and leaving a tender kiss on his fingertips.
He sighs as if it causes him great inconvenience, yet agrees without much further prompting. He discards the clothes he’s wearing and sets them aside, raising a brow when Cheng Xiaoshi leans forward— making space for him behind himself and smiling up at Lu Guang.
“You want me to sit behind you?” He asks despite knowing the answer and a smile threatens to make itself known when Cheng Xiaoshi only answers with a quick yep, making sure to put emphasis on the last letter.
It’s a tight squeeze in the bathtub with two grown men sitting inside. The water sloshes in all directions as they both try and find the most comfortable way to position themselves, eventually opting for Lu Guang to sit with his knees bent and apart while Cheng Xiaoshi slides down a little until it’s enough for Lu Guang to rest his chin on his shoulder. They’ve done this plenty of times before, and in the same exact position, but the problem of finding the most comfortable way for them both to fit always remains a struggle.
When they’re both finally content with the arrangement, Cheng Xiaoshi leans back with his head resting on Lu Guang’s shoulder and closes his eyes once again— enjoying the feeling of Lu Guang’s chest plastered firmly against his back.
A silence engulfs the room as they both simply bask in each other’s presence. The sound of rain that was initially muted by the couple now seems louder than before. Rain hits the bathroom window without mercy, like it’s desperate to be let in, the sound thick and heavy with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Every now and then there’s the loud rumbles of thunder that succeeds in breaking the silence that takes over the studio. Every corner of the bathroom brightens with the lightening that arrives, and within a millisecond it’s gone in a blink. Minutes pass like this, each enjoying the quiet breathing from the other until Cheng Xiaoshi decides to speak up— a hushed voice that doesn’t dare to disturb the tranquil bubble they find themselves in.
“You know I never liked the rain before,” he begins, hands starting to slide onto Lu Guang’s where they lay on his abdomen, “as a child I was always envious of kids in my class whose parents would come pick them up with umbrellas. They always looked so happy seeing their parents waiting for them in the cold, miserable rain.” He chuckles dryly in an attempt to lighten the mood but it falls flat.
He turns his head to look at Lu Guang and kisses the sliver of skin that his lips are able to reach. Lu Guang doesn’t speak— it’s best to let Cheng Xiaoshi speak his mind and express his thoughts without interruption. Instead he squeezes Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand and intertwines their fingers. A sign of support even if he isn’t vocal about what he’s thinking.
“I always shrugged the bitter feeling off by justifying it, saying what’s the point of having someone else waiting for me in this kind of weather when it just means they’ll get wet in the process too. I don’t want to be such a burden to someone else to have them wait in the rain when they could just wait at home.” He pauses for a second as he tries to figure out the words he wants to say. “But my house was always empty too. It was dark and cold and there was no one to welcome me or fuss over how I'd gotten wet from head to toe.”
The water around them begins to slosh around them once again when Cheng Xiaoshi starts to turn around in the tight squeeze of their bathtub. He sits in front of Lu Guang— a smile etched on his face with no signs of the sombre mood he was in just a second ago. Like the weather today, Cheng Xiaoshi’s mood changes with a click of a finger. Once he’s settled in his new position, he pushes back the stray strands of hair that fall in front of his eyes and looks at Lu Guang like he recently discovered something— eyes bright and wide, and his smile slowly growing big as he leans forward until their faces are inches apart. Lu Guang wonders if the corners of his lips ever begin to hurt, with how often he’s seen with a carefree smile and a light expression.
“Of course, I had Qiao Ling, and she helped me whenever she could, but I couldn’t always rely on her; she has her own problems to worry about.” Cheng Xiaoshi brings a hand up to Lu Guang’s cheek and rests it against his skin, water drips down his arm until it reaches his elbow. “Today felt really nice though, and I understand why kids back then used to look so happy to see their family come to school to pick them up. I still don’t like the rain, but it was nice to come home to the lights turned on and you waiting for me with a towel.”
Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t give Lu Guang a moment to process his words as he closes the gap between them. His lips feel cold from being caught in the rain and his nose, touching Lu Guang’s cheek ever so slightly, is freezing, but Lu Guang ignores the sensation to kiss Cheng Xiaoshi back with the same amount of gentleness. His heart hammers against his chest and wonders if Cheng Xiaoshi can feel it, but it doesn’t bother him this time. With a quick peek at Cheng Xiaoshi’s ears, he notices the way they brighten into a red that’s only seen when he’s flustered. His free hand grips the edge of the bathtub so tightly his knuckles become white, but Lu Guang slowly slithers his fingers into his grasp, uncurling his fingers and intertwining their hands together. He notices the way all the remaining tension that was left in Cheng Xiaoshi disintegrates into thin air, leaving behind a body that has turned into mush, falling perfectly into Lu Guang as if his body is meant to be there.
After a moment, their lips barely move against each other, more so enjoying the close proximity of each other’s bodies as Lu Guang places a tentative hand on his waist. It’s not their first time kissing but somehow they feel shy all the same. Lu Guang waits patiently for Cheng Xiaoshi to set the pace— let him choose whether they go further or they stop at kissing.
With one more kiss, and a slight tug of his bottom lip with his teeth, Cheng Xiaoshi pulls away and begins to pepper kisses all over Lu Guang’s face. Forehead, nose, eyelids, cheeks, and jaw. Cheng Xiaoshi makes sure to capture every part of Lu Guang and the latter can’t help but stay still as his boyfriend does his thing. Another sound of the things Lu Guang can hear around the studio, but this one brings him a warmth that none of the others did.
“Hey Lu Guang,” he starts, leaning back but his hand remains on his jaw, “you know I appreciate you so much and I’m so glad you’re my best friend and my boyfriend, you’re basically family you know? You’re my home.” Cheng Xiaoshi whispers the last part as if it’s only for Lu Guang’s ears to hear.
Words get lodged deep in his throat as he stares at Cheng Xiaoshi. His mouth opens to talk, but the words don’t come out— heavy on his tongue but he doesn’t have the strength to spit it out. He feels his eyes widen at the confession— of what his words imply, and they echo in his mind.
Home.
Cheng Xiaoshi is home as well. He’s everything he could ever ask for and more, and sometimes he feels greedy. He doesn’t deserve someone like Cheng Xiaoshi. Cheng Xiaoshi is kind hearted, empathetic, always trying to help others, selfless, optimistic, and positive. He’s selfless to a fault but it’s what makes him human— it’s what makes Lu Guang fall in love with him over and over again, because he knows the kind of person he is and how he spends every day trying to become a better version of himself. Lu Guang feels greedy but he feels a sense of relief that Cheng Xiaoshi picked him over anyone else. So while he does have his moments of doubt, never once will Lu Guang let Cheng Xiaoshi go for as long as he lives.
He bites his lip in thought as he considers what to say, almost missing the admiration that fills Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression as he watches Lu Guang battle the words he wants to say. Lu Guang has always preferred speaking through his actions— preferring to do something for his close ones rather than using words of affirmation. Lu Guang has always done what he felt would be for the best— taking his time to think through his actions and weighing the pros and cons before he does something.
In that sense, Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang are on two opposite sides of the spectrum, but that’s what makes this work out for them. Where Lu Guang is lacking, Cheng Xiaoshi fills it out with his own attributes, and Lu Guang helps where Cheng Xiaoshi falls short. When Cheng Xiaoshi is impulsive on the job, Lu Guang makes sure to bring them back on track no matter how far they derail, and when there are times when Lu Guang is stressed and overthinking too much, Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t hesitate in taking over for him.
Just like the times when Cheng Xiaoshi came back from a particularly difficult dive, heart heavy with emotions and his mind jumbled with all kinds of thoughts and questions. Lu Guang would sit beside him, a book in his hand as he waits for Cheng Xiaoshi to collect himself— until he’s ready to say what’s on his mind. Or when he can’t fall asleep late at night, and he climbs into Lu Guang’s bed, expecting to be told to go back to his bed, but instead Lu Guang turns around and moves closer to the wall, making enough space for Cheng Xiaoshi to squeeze in.
Then there are times when Lu Guang, though responsible most of the time, takes on more requests than he’s able to handle. And Cheng Xiaoshi for obvious reasons can’t help him in that aspect but he tries to do his best to help him in other ways— helping out regular customers at the counter while Lu Guang is busy with requests, making him coffee or buying his favourite milk tea, giving him a massage every few minutes and dimming the lights so he can take a quick nap before carrying on.
“Me too.” Lu Guang starts, pulling Cheng Xiaoshi out of his thoughts. Lu Guang’s face turns red when attention is on him once more but he tries to seem unaffected. It’s not everyday that he’s so open and verbal with his feelings and Cheng Xiaoshi wants to make sure he doesn’t miss even a second of it. “I’m glad you’re here with me too. Even if you’re naive and gullible and too empathetic for your own good, I love those parts of you too.”
Cheng Xiaoshi pouts and hits Lu Guang playfully, “you could’ve left that part out.” He sighs and turns back around, “wash my hair and I’ll wash yours.”
“On rainy days, I’ll wait for you.” He mumbles quietly, smiling when he hears a sharp inhale from his partner, “even when it’s not raining I will wait for you right here, in our home. So you don’t need to ever worry about coming back to a dark studio anymore. I’ll make sure the lights are always turned on for you.”
Without another word, Lu Guang grabs his shampoo bottle, squeezing the right amount into his hand. They’re both quiet as they let the words process. Words of promises gone untold but the implications are there and it’s enough for both of them. With hearts feeling warmer than what the bathtub could provide, they continue their routine before it’s time to get out.
Even if he has never mentioned anything about it, Cheng Xiaoshi knows about Lu Guang’s enjoyment for washing his hair, though he’s never quite questioned it before. Lu Guang has an odd side to him too, but if Cheng Xiaoshi were to tell anyone else about it, they’d simply deny it and say it’s just Cheng Xiaoshi projecting. But he knows about this odd side of him; the weird side that he normally keeps hidden from anyone, and it’s a shame that he makes Cheng Xiaoshi look like a liar, but part of him fills with glee at the thought of Lu Guang only showing him this side. HIs eyes close as soon as he feels Lu Guang’s fingers in his hair, gently getting all the spots in his scalp and administering small circles with the tips of his fingers until the shampoo begins to foam. A sigh escapes his lips when Lu Guang presses on a particular spot in his neck and he leans forward to give him more space to work with.
Lu Guang stops for a second to wrap a strand of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair around his finger.
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to cut your hair?” He asks, half distracted by the curls forming in Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair.
“Cut it for me.” He responds curtly, eyes still closed as he enjoys the feeling of Lu Guang’s fingers.
“You’ve gotten really comfortable with telling me what to do today.” There’s no bite in Lu Guang’s words, and it’s obvious Cheng Xiaoshi is aware of that too, if the hearty laughter that fills the bathroom is anything to go by.
“I’m your boyfriend and I’m older than you. Don’t you know you should always listen to your elders?”
The water that’s poured on Cheng Xiaoshi’s head brings a gasp out of him but he closes his mouth immediately and pushes his hair back so it’s out of his face. Lu Guang combs his fingers through Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair, making sure there’s no more shampoo left anywhere. Once his hair has been cleaned of any soapy residuals, Cheng Xiaoshi turns, and gets Lu Guang to turn around too so he’s now sat in front of him.
There’s a clear difference in Cheng Xiaoshi’s mood compared to when he first walked into the studio. He continues to chatter on about his day prior to the downpour that forced him to come home sooner than he expected
★
Once they’re out and dry—fully clothed and warm, Cheng Xiaoshi pulls out the stool from the corner and sets it in front of the mirror while Lu Guang takes out the tools necessary to give him a haircut. They’ve done this plenty of times before; with enough tutorials watched online, Lu Guang is confident he can follow what they did to give his partner a decent haircut. The first time he cut his hair, there were a few pieces that looked longer than the rest; it looked awkwardly cut and there were more jagged hair strands than he expected. Lu Guang was certain Cheng Xiaoshi would stick to going to the barber from there on, however less than a month later, Cheng Xiaoshi was standing in front of him— a large grin on his face and a pair of scissors in his hands, ready to ask Lu Guang for another haircut. After that they went online to search for scissors that were more suitable for hair rather than using the rusty old pair that they had in the back of their cabinet and over time Lu Guang gained the skills to cut Cheng Xiaoshi's hair.
He grabs the old cloth they keep aside for times like this and wraps it around Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders, making sure to pin it at the front so it doesn’t budge and then turns the bathroom light on for extra brightness before he stands behind Cheng Xiaoshi. A comfortable silence falls over them as Lu Guang examines the hair length to see how much he should cut off. He doesn’t want to get rid of too much; he knows how much his partner likes to tie his hair up while he works, and cutting it short would mean having to fix his hair more often because of how often it falls out of his hair tie. When working with curly hair he realised early on that it would be best to trim without pulling on the strands too much— a lesson learnt the hard way he’d say, so he gently pulls a section between his fingers and measures how long it’s grown.
“I won’t cut much.” He comments, taking the strands between his fingers and combing through it to get rid of any tangles.
“I trust you, I know you won’t mess up my hair.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s words, although meant to be reassuring, only serve to put more pressure on Lu Guang, but he doesn’t say it out loud. He takes a deep breath and continues combing out the rest of his hair.
From the reflection in the mirror, Lu Guang notices Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes are already on him, watching his every move like a hawk. He tries to ignore him but his gaze pierces through and puts him in the spotlight, now suddenly fully conscious of everything that he’s doing. He secures how much he’ll cut off— a baseline for the rest of his hair, and with one final exhale he begins trimming.
The scissors sound light as it goes through the hair. A single snip and the first strand falls to the ground, a lone curl amongst the white tiles. Soon enough more trimmed pieces join the first strand, a collection of hair now surrounding their feet. All whilst this happens, Cheng Xiaoshi grows more antsy in his seat by the second— never quite the person to be sat in one position for too long. It’s obvious in the way he straightens his back suddenly, a clear indication that he’s trying to make himself more alert, and how his eyes begin to dart around trying to find something entertaining to stare at.
“I’m almost done.” He informs Cheng Xiaoshi, lightly tapping his shoulder to stop him from fidgeting so much. “We’re going to work on your curls when we get out as well.”
Cheng Xiaoshi lets out an aggrieved moan and looks at Lu Guang through the mirror once more.
“Do we need to do that tonight? I’m tired.”
His fingers work diligently to comb through his hair to make sure he didn’t miss out on any outgrown strands. After placing the scissors down by the sink, Lu Guang uses both hands to comb back the top half of Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair to see if the length is enough— much like how he’d normally do it when he wants to tie his hair up.
“It won’t take long. You can rest on my leg if it becomes too much. We should try to get your hair used to its curl pattern again.” He tries to reason with Cheng Xiaoshi all whilst grabbing the scissors once more to do the final touches before he can comb his hair through and begin point-cutting to get rid of the blunt edge. Cheng Xiaoshi sighs and makes it look like he’s about to lean back on Lu Guang, laughing when his boyfriend cries out in surprise because of the sudden movement.
“Cheng Xiaoshi! That is dangerous, you’re going to get yourself hurt if you do things like that while I’ve got scissors pointed towards your head.” Lu Guang scolds, exasperated by Cheng Xiaoshi’s antics. He’ll have to hurry up before Cheng Xiaoshi takes matters into his own hands and tries to speed up the process himself.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.” Cheng Xiaoshi snickers to himself, enjoying the look of annoyance on Lu Guang’s face, but he straightens up and bites back the smile. “Once we’re done with that you need to take a nap with me.” He tries to bargain, knowing well that naps are a weakness for Lu Guang— one that everyone’s aware of.
It’s easy to find Lu Guang tucked away in the corner, napping with his legs curled into himself, looking comfortable as the sun beams above him. More often than not Lu Guang falls asleep while basking in the sun. A book loosely held in the grips of his hand, merely seconds away from falling to the ground with a thud. More often than not, Cheng Xiaoshi has used his own jacket to cover his boyfriend while he snoozes, completely unaware of the world around him.
Lu Guang hums in contemplation but he never gives his answer, yet the way the corner of his lips lift just the slightest is enough of an answer for Cheng Xiaoshi. He kicks the back of his foot against the stool and hums to himself, pleased to know he has probably already won his side of the bargain.
He feels the comb gently running through his hair and the sensation brings him to close his eyes. A soothing feeling courses through him that instantly makes him feel relaxed. After that, he hears the sound of metal clinking against ceramic followed by the spray bottle spritzing water all over his hair. He flinches when he feels the cold water make contact with his neck but it’s a feeling that disappears just as fast as it appeared.
When the telltale signs of Lu Guang being done with the haircut start to make themselves known, Cheng Xiaoshi perks up— ready to get off the plastic stool. Yet he’s pleasantly caught by surprise when Lu Guang cups his head between his hands and tilts his head back, brushing away the curls that sit messily on his forehead before planting a kiss on the now empty spot.
“What’s that for?” He blurts out, unable to hide the look of surprise on his face because Lu Guang isn’t normally one to initiate physical touch first, much less random kisses out of nowhere.
Usually it’s Cheng Xiaoshi that pulls him in for cuddles, or brings him in for a hug, or pulls him onto his lap while he’s reading, or initiates the kisses when they’re in the mood. Usually it’s Cheng Xiaoshi that kisses him randomly while they go about their day while Lu Guang blushes behind his book, pretending he isn’t affected.
Lu Guang has his own way of showing affection, oftentimes leaning towards cleaning their room when it starts getting messy, or buying them food when Cheng Xiaoshi is stuck in the darkroom for ages because a customer’s order takes longer than usual. Lu Guang does the things that are subtle and sometimes easy to miss. He prefers to love quietly— doing things when he thinks others aren’t watching and acting as though he had no part in it. He listens to people’s requests no matter how impossible it may sound and tries his hardest to give them the best closest solution possible.
Admittedly, Lu Guang has begun initiating these things too. Cheng Xiaoshi would like to think he’s having an effect on him. And although it’s not as often as Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang still does it occasionally, yet each time Cheng Xiaoshi can’t help but stare at him with a slackened jaw. He stares up at his boyfriend, eyes wide in surprise as he patiently waits for Lu Guang to answer (one that he soon finds out he won’t get).
“I’m done cutting your hair.” Lu Guang lets go of Cheng Xiaoshi and turns away. His face feels like it’s been lit ablaze— the tips of his ears turning a bright red and the heights of his cheeks burning like a candle set aflame. Lu Guang holds his face in the palm of his hand and does everything in an attempt to bring the heat down. It’s not like he’s never done this before, but it flusters him all the same; he wonders how Cheng Xiaoshi can do it so carefreely— like being direct in his affection comes as easily as breathing for him.
He exhales out of his nostrils and grabs the hair towel for his partner, handing it over to him without making any eye contact.
“I’ll go grab the broom, you just dry your hair in the meantime.” He mumbles, acting as though nothing happened. As he’s leaving the bathroom, a boisterous laugh booms through the studio. The life that had been sucked out of the studio, finally returning in the shape of Cheng Xiaoshi.
★
The sun has begun setting by the time they’re both seated in their bedroom— Lu Guang on the bed while Cheng Xiaoshi sits in front of him and the dumplings he bought earlier reheated and in a plate right next to him. They would’ve been done much sooner had it not been for Cheng Xiaoshi capturing Lu Guang’s lips and pulling him in for a kiss. Lu Guang, weak to Cheng Xiaoshi’s whims (and being guilty of enjoying the spur of a moment kisses), didn’t do anything to try and stop him. One kiss turned into two. Two turned into four, until Lu Guang was helpless against the tiled wall, head tilted back in ecstasy as Cheng Xiaoshi lapped his tongue against his weakest spots.
Lu Guang brought a hand up to his hair and fisted a handful of curls in an attempt to pull him back, but it only served to spur him on further.
“Cheng Xiaoshi, are you a dog? Quit chewing on my neck like a toy.” There’s no heat in his words but it falls on deaf ears nonetheless. Lu Guang feels him grinning against his skin when he involuntarily lets out a grunt.
“But you’re enjoying it, aren’t you?” Cheng Xiaoshi wedged a leg between Lu Guang’s and sandwiched him between his body and the wall until he was shuddering from the sensation. His hands roamed as freely as his lips almost as if it was his mission to see how fast he could undo Lu Guang.
The studio, which was once filled with the sound of rain and thunder was now filled with the failed attempts of Lu Guang trying to hide behind his hand and bitten lips. As the world resumed once more— occasional chatter being heard outside as people made their way to their destination, Lu Guang pried Cheng Xiaoshi off of his body. A small promise to let him do as he pleased once they were in their room.
Without much hesitation, they stumbled upstairs. Clumsy hands and hushed words as Cheng Xiaoshi took the lead to bring Lu Guang to his bed. There, he took all the time in the world to slowly relish the taste of Lu Guang, watching as he writhed underneath him and gradually fell apart at the mercy of Cheng Xiaoshi.
A second shower was needed right after. Lu Guang grumbled about the marks left all over his body while Cheng Xiaoshi merely grinned— a sheepish expression on his face when he apologised through countless kisses that were placed tenderly against his boyfriend’s shoulder.
What was supposed to be a quick wash just to warm Cheng Xiaoshi up after his run in with the rain ended up taking so long that the studio was now painted in gold streams. The dark clouds still remained, as if another downpour was on its way, but the setting sun still managed to peek through the small gaps, a golden bubble now taking over the once desaturated streets. Light bounces off the bedroom walls and fills it with warmth that makes Cheng Xiaoshi lean back against Lu Guang’s knees as he gently brushes through his curls.
“I came across this forum online about treating damaged curly hair. They say hair masks are a good place to start.” Lu Guang sections his hair and works on them slowly, smiling a little when he notices his strands trying to cling onto what little curl pattern he still has left after years of applying heat to it.
Cheng Xiaoshi has his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Lu Guang working through his hair. “Should I try that? All I do right now is use a detangle brush and some conditioner.”
“You won’t have to use the mask often, I’ll shower with you on days that you need to use it so I can help you wash it out.”
“I see you’re bribing me with a good time. You know I’ll never say no to showering with you.”
Lu Guang rolls his eyes and tugs the handful of hair he’s brushing through, earning a low whine from Cheng Xiaoshi from the pain that jolts through his scalp. When his hair is brushed through, Lu Guang attempts the finger coiling method he saw online, tentatively working through each section with immense focus, he nearly misses the dumpling that Cheng Xiaoshi tries feeding him.
It’s a long process but Lu Guang does as much as he can with the little product and resources that they have. He makes a mental note to try and buy some of the curling products he read about so he can help his boyfriend restore the healthy curls he once saw in his pictures.
“GuangGuang.” Cheng Xiaoshi prods his lips with another half eaten dumpling, clearly chewing on the other half. Lu Guang accepts it and chews slowly, his need to create the perfect curls overpowering the ache in his back from sitting slouched over Cheng Xiaoshi for so long.
“Hey Lu Guang, why do you insist on helping me with my curls so much?”
Was the answer not obvious? Of course Cheng Xiaoshi looks good with his hair straightened— it’s what Lu Guang has seen him with since the beginning. He likes watching Cheng Xiaoshi tie it up with ease, pushing back the strands back when they get in the way while he works. He likes mindlessly threading his fingers through his hair after a shower while Cheng Xiaoshi rests his head in Lu Guang’s lap, each in their own bubble while they do their own thing. Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair, without a doubt, looks a little longer when it’s straightened and it’s interesting to see the different hairstyles he’ll rock depending on his mood, although most of the time he plays it safe with his half updo.
But there was a night when Cheng Xiaoshi brought out the photo album, sharing the different memories he’s curated throughout his childhood. What caught Lu Guang’s eyes almost immediately was the rich curls that sat neatly on Cheng Xiaoshi’s head. A head full of healthy, shiny curls that seemed as lively as the person they were stuck to.
There was one particular picture.
Cheng Xiaoshi grinning widely with no worries behind his shining eyes, his hair looked almost messed up with how much he was playing, and plasters stuck to his arm— a clear sign that he had been playing rough before he was called to take a picture. It was a sight to behold, and he wondered how Cheng Xiaoshi would look now with the same curls as what he had when he was a kid.
No doubt about it, Lu Guang knows he’ll look good with his hair in its natural glory. Even better now that his hair has grown out much more compared to when he was a child. He wants to play with his curly hair too, wrapping it around his finger and pulling on it, then letting it go to watch it revert back to its original pattern. He wants to see Cheng Xiaoshi in the mornings with his curls running wild from tossing and turning throughout the night. He wants to see him tie it up— the half updo creating the illusion of a pompom stuck to the back of his head. Cheng Xiaoshi looks handsome with his hair straightened, but he thinks he would look even more handsome with his hair left in its natural state. Though ultimately, he knows the decision lies with Cheng Xiaoshi and he can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want (he will, however, gently get Cheng Xiaoshi to consider the option).
“Isn’t it obvious? Your hair will fall out before you’re old with how much heat you apply.” Lu Guang mutters as a matter of factly as he finishes with the final coil and huffs a breath of relief. Now the final step, though he’s not too sure how to do it properly— scrunching. He gently coaxed his hair into his palm section by section and scrunched close to his scalp before letting it fall naturally against his shoulder. The slightest bit of curl can be seen as a result; it’s a given that Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair won’t hold curls as they used to after all the years of applying heat but the fact that there’s even the smallest of curl pattern shows that they’re heading in the right direction. “Too much heat is never good for your hair, no matter how much heat protectant you use. Your hair is not getting the break it needs from all the electrical devices and it’s causing your hair to become frayed at the ends. Your hair becomes more frizzy because it’s not getting the nourishment it needs.”
Cheng Xiaoshi lets out a laugh and tilts his head back to look at Lu Guang, ignoring his string of complaints. “I’m gonna straighten it in the morning.” He teases, eyes crinkling in delight when he notices the pout on his boyfriend’s lips and the way he grumbles a few words about Cheng Xiaoshi being stubborn.
“Tell me the real reason then,” he turns around properly, kneeling in front of Lu Guang with his head leaning against his thigh, “I know you’re not one to make me change my routine for no reason.”
A moment of silence passes over them but Cheng Xiaoshi waits patiently for Lu Guang to open up. He takes a moment to appreciate him from this angle. Golden streams of light paint his face a warm yellow. Under the sun of this hour, Lu Guang’s hair looks a lot more fluffy and yellowish, and his features seem to soften. He’s clearly enjoying the warmth radiating straight onto his face.
Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of staring at his face. He loves the different expressions he makes without realising. The slight grimace— prominent when there’s something he especially wants but his pride is too much to give in to his desires. The way his eyes stare off in a daze when he’s lost in thought, or when they shine brighter than the sun when he gets his hands on his favourite drink. The way the corner of his lip twitches when he’s amused but he doesn’t want to show it or the twitch in his brows when he’s agitated. He loves the gentle, barely-there smile when he talks to customers— some would argue it’s his customer service smile, but Cheng Xiaoshi knows better than anyone he enjoys these little interactions more than anyone else.
There are times when Cheng Xiaoshi has to refrain from kissing him square on the lips in front of everyone else; the little quirks Lu Guang sometimes displays only makes Cheng Xiaoshi want to smother him in kisses until he’s a flustered mess. He wants to mess with his hair and watch Lu Guang grumble about how annoying he is or poke his sides until he’s swatting his hands away. Lu Guang is a logical person with his emotions intact, but there’s an underlying childish part of him that shines through sometimes and it only reminds Cheng Xiaoshi that he is, in fact, younger than him (albeit not by much) and it’s enough for him to want to dote on him and annoy him until he’s picking up a book and shooing Cheng Xiaoshi away for being too distracting.
“I think you look good with curls, and I want to experience it too— seeing you with curls in person, I mean.” The tips of Lu Guang’s ears burn red, embarrassed by the revelation, and he waits for Cheng Xiaoshi to tease him for having such a simple thought.
But the teasing never comes. He turns to see what’s got Cheng Xiaoshi so quiet; he never misses the opportunity to pester Lu Guang, but instead he sits there with a gentle expression. He’s seen this expression quite before— Cheng Xiaoshi isn’t shy about showing how he feels. His eyes are filled with adoration and he wears a faint smile, although it’s hard to miss. He gets up so he’s face to face with Lu Guang and plants a kiss on his forehead.
“Do you like it that much?” With sincerity laced in his voice, Lu Guang can’t help but be honest about his thoughts.
He fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt and purses his lips in thought, staring outside of the window to avoid Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes. Whether he knows it or not, Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes have some sort of hypnosis in them that makes Lu Guang spill what he’s thinking. It’s a dangerous trait that he’ll never mention to him.
“I’ve only ever seen you straighten it so I’d like to see it natural for once. But don’t misunderstand, I still think too much heat will do your hair more damage in the long run, you need to let your hair breathe.”
Cheng Xiaoshi sits next to him, bumping their shoulders together to get Lu Guang to look at him. The sun has gone down by now, leaving their room lacking any source of light but Cheng Xiaoshi can still make out the expression Lu Guang is making. A huff of laughter escapes him when Lu Guang remains stubborn, but that doesn’t faze him— not when he’s dealt with his boyfriend’s immature tendencies countless times when it’s just the two of them. He turns Lu Guang around by holding his chin between his thumb and index finger so that they’re eye to eye once more and tilts his head as he kisses Lu Guang’s jutted out lips.
“Do you want to go out tomorrow? We can get the things I’ll need to restore my hair. With the amount of times I’ve straightened my hair, there’s no way this will be an easy fix.” He easily manoeuvres Lu Guang onto his lap, his chin resting on his shoulder and lips close to his ears. “We can research this together and one day you’ll finally get to see my hair as it was when I was a kid. I think that could be a fun journey.
With one swift movement, Cheng Xiaoshi has them both lying side by side on his bed. He buries his face in Lu Guang’s nape and leaves a trail of kisses where he knows his boyfriend likes it best, enjoying the way Lu Guang inhales sharply and shudders under his touch. He continues his administration, inching his hand underneath his t-shirt and feeling the way Lu Guang holds his breath— anticipating what he’ll do next.
“Now then, if we’re done talking about my hair, should we continue what we were doing earlier?”