Chapter Text
It feels like a tear in my heart,
Like a part of me missing
And I just can't feel it, I've tried and I've tried
And I've tried
Karen Page was curled into a ball in her bed, her covers curled around her, providing a warm that she was lacking. Her pillow was stained with tears, tears left from her general distrust with men, namely lying ones like Matt Murdock and hurtful ones like Frank Castle. She couldn’t stop the tears that were nearly choking her, shaking her whole frame.
Tears on my face I can't take it
If lonely is a taste then it's all that I'm tasting
Do you hear my cry?
I cry, oh
She knew what she craved. It wasn’t Matt, despite the advice she had recently been given, they were not compatible. The catholic and the killer.
No, what she really craved was the touch of Frank Castle, his strange, yet soothing arms around her.
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
She knew that it was dangerous. To care about The Punisher. To give herself to him.
When her mother told her to be careful in New York, she had thought it wouldn’t be too hard, yet she had been in more shit in Hells Kitchen than she had been in her whole time in Vermont. Well... almost. She knew that her gun was safely stashed in her draw, loaded and ready to kill anyone who came near here.
The difference between Karen Page and Matt Murdock was that Karen was ready and willing to pull the trigger, like Frank. That made her more similar to him than she thought.
She knew she was attracted to him, in some inexplicable way. She also knew that there was nothing she could do about it. He was worlds apart, and in his own words, was generally considered out of his skull.
Just wrap me in your arms, in your arms
I don't wanna be nowhere else
Karen felt lost. She had no choice but to leave Hells Kitchen, there was too much pain. Too much suffering by the hands of men that just kept coming back, different names, same agendas. And some people just not willing to do what is necessary to keep them down for good.
Take me from the dark, from the dark
I ain't gonna make it myself
Put your arms around me
Let your love surround me
I am lost
I am lost
A knock on the door made Karen’s sobs fade into the background. She heaved herself out of her bed, pushing the blankets off her, wrapping her thin silky dressing gown around her body as she went to answer the door, not bothering to look through the peephole as she opened the door. She had got to the point where nothing could surprise her, not even a gun to her head. Luckily, no one had a gun to her head, but she was still shocked to see Frank Castle standing at her door. “Frank. What do you want?” Karen asked, folding her arms to keep them from shaking, trying to hide the thrill of terror and pleasure that ran through her in seeing him again. “I’m not sure anymore.” Frank said, his voice filled with defeat and anger. Karen’s face softened, and she left the door open, slowly moving her limbs towards her bed, ignoring her thumping heartbeat and she slid her dressing gown off her shoulders and crawled back into bed.
If I ain't got you here
If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all
She wrapped the covers around her, closing her eyes. She heard shoes coming off, and the door to her apartment shutting. She heard Frank moving towards her, but she didn’t move an inch. She knew what she wanted, the desire swirling around her body, but she pushed it away. He was a murderer. But so was she. She didn’t recognise the girl who worked for Union Allied Construction.
She felt her bed dip, and opened her eyes a tiny way, seeing Frank facing away from her sitting on the edge of her bed. “Frank.” She whispered, revealing the pain in her voice. He turned his head, their expressions mirrored. Terror. Anger. Pain. “I can’t.” Frank said gruffly, looking away. Karen got out of bed and sat next to Frank, her chest thumping with a vengeance. She tentatively put her hand on his shoulder, letting him take reassurance from her. He stilled at her touch, before he moved and put his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes.
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
Karen woke up, and found herself wrapped around Frank Castle, her memories of last night fuzzy and hazy. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep. Frank most have tucked her in. The thought made her heart soar. His arms were tucked around her waist, and his head was snuggled into her chest. She could easily stay here, forget everything that had happened, and move on. But she couldn’t.
If I ain't got you here
If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all
She got up as quietly as she could, aware that Frank was awake as soon as she twitched but pretended to be asleep as she got dressed. She left her apartment, without looking back and without saying another word. She couldn’t undo the damage that had been done. To her heart, her apartment... It was time to go.
Feels like I don't even know me
I don't even know me