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The pounding of his head, the blurry static in his vision, it was really too much today. Spencer’s head throbbed and he pinched the bridge of his nose staring at himself in his bathroom mirror. He’d just felt like he’d half come out of a dream, his hands stained with green and dye smatters all over his shoulders. His hair now was a beautiful bright shade of emerald fucking green, still vaguely dripping wet from being rinsed. He really didn't remember dying it, well that's a lie, he remembered but just barely. It definitely wasn't his decision, nor had it been talked about either. There was a soft knock on the door and Nadia’s head poked in, two hot Starbucks coffees in her hands.
“Hey b- Oh! Woah! Your hair!-”
Spencer sighs and shrugs, waving his hand, “Yeah it's- Something, do you know who in my goddamn brain did this?”
Nadia frowns for a second, pushing the door the rest of the way open with the toe of her converse. She carries the coffee carefully over and sets the drinks down on the sink, resting her hands on her hips next, “I’m actually not sure, at least no one communicated to me they were doing it. Why?” Nadia pauses raising an eyebrow in concern, “Do you hate it?”
Spencer glances at himself again, turning his face side to side, almost as if examining it slowly, “I..- No…-?” He trails off slowly staring in the mirror still, “I guess not? I don't know..”
Nadia thinks for a moment then reaches up to run her fingers through Spencer’s wet hair. From her perspective it was gorgeous, handsome even. It looked really good on him, but knowing her husband she knew he definitely wouldn't think the same. She knew how much he valued his looks and how hard he tried to keep up his flawless stage persona.
“I look ridiculous.” It's out of Spencer's mouth just as the opposite thought runs through Nadia’s head.
“No you don't, you look beautiful babe.” Nadia tries though then frowns, watching Spencer's face twist.
“I guess.. I just want to know who did it.” He deflects back shaking his head.
“You know..” Nadia starts, “It could have been your fem?”
Spencer cringes a little at the mention of the feminine part of himself. All of his parts frustrated him actually, but it was more like he’d crammed all his femininity and all the things he hated about himself into a corner of his brain and she had become a person.
“No. I don't think so.. I still don't know or understand this shit very well and it’s frustrating to come back to stuff like *this*-” Spencer huffs out running his hand irritably through his hair.
Nadia only smiles warmly a little at his frustration and grips his waist, her thumbs moving in little circle soothing motions against the waistband of his pants, “I know but-” She pauses momentarily waiting until Spencer gazes back at her, “-it’ll be okay it's just green hair babe.”
“Yeah, I guess so..”
He takes a small breath in. This honestly wasn't the worst thing his alters had done. From ending relationships, to substance issues, self harm, and inconsistency this was nothing. Communication with them was still hard. He’d only been actively diagnosed for a few months, now it was trying to rearrange his life from the dissociative tangled mess it had been.
Despite how chaotic it had been he was glad to have Nadia by his side, honestly she was his stable rock in all this shit. Especially small moments like this where he’d feel like he’d just kind of come to with some random little thing. The rest of INK was a big help too where they could be. He hadn't *exactly* told them all what was going on yet, but explaining there was multiple parts of you split up by amnesia barriers that react in different ways because you were heavily traumatized as a kid, really wasn't a simple 5 minute conversation. He’d honestly left it at- “I have a mental disorder that causes me to forget shit and act weird sometimes, just be patient with me” and they all agreed they’d try their best.
“You.. You really think it looks okay? I don't look like a fucking idiot?”
Nadia hums a little, resting her chin on his shoulder. She gazes at his reflection with an affectionate look on her face, “You always look like an idiot, but you're my hot sexy idiot, especially now with green hair.”
Spencer flushes and scoffs, meeting her eyes in the mirror, “Yeah, if you say so. You're ridiculous sometimes.”
“I do say so. You look absolutely beautiful. The green really suits your eyes. I think the fans and the rest of band will like it too. I know I’m ridiculous too, but your dumbass picked me.”
Spencer chuckles a little then relaxes back into Nadia’s arms. He lets her hold him a little for once in his life, she really did know what to say to him sometimes. Sometimes he forgets that she knows him better than he knows himself sometimes.
“Okay, okay..” He pauses and debates then slowly opens his mouth again, “If I end up hating it that much will you help me dye it back?”
“Absolutely darling. We can also go get it professionally redyed if you want.” Nadia states matter-a-factly, and Spencer lets out a sigh of relief he wasn't even aware he was holding.
“Okay.. That helps a lot.. Maybe it isn't so bad.”
“I think you just overthink and freak out sometimes babe.” Nadia pulls away from his waist, now reaching for her cup of coffee.
“Yeah. That sounds like me.”