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gold cage, hostage to my feelings

Summary:

my version of jay's pov for drs3 - BEWARE OF SPOILERS

title from 'so it goes...' by taylor swift

Chapter 1: some rando mercenary

Chapter Text

He had a crush. 

A stupid, infuriating, humiliating crush. On a stupid, infuriating, humiliating girl. Just because she happened to save his life. 

It started as soon as a ball of water was hurled into the back of the Dragonian closing in. If he squeezed his eyes shut while propped up on the couch in the monastery he had been dragged back to, Jay could see the exact moment where a flicker of feeling sparkled in his heart. Stupid feelings. Useless feelings. He had been on his back in the sand, knowing that the end was near. There was no way for him to escape, his suit was crushed, his gadgets out of reach, his opponent looming over him. 

Then, her

Bright blue water sprinkled down at him as his opponent was blasted away. Jay had been covering his eyes, so he didn’t see her until the Dragonian was out of his way. Then, he turned and saw her, his eyes widening behind his glowing goggles. Her face was wrapped up in a mask, her suit different than when he had left her behind - consumed by his humiliation and anger - at the tournament. But there was no one else in any of the realms that could channel water like that. It was her. Nya

“On your feet if you want to survive!” she shouted, glancing sideways at Jay and then swinging the sword she had scooped off the sand. Jay paused for a moment, blinking as he watched her bolt back into battle, then grabbed a discarded sword and ran in after her, jumping forward and kicking anybody he could come in contact with, his weapon slashing through the air with a satisfying whistle. Then, he landed by her side, both of them breathing heavily as they looked around, planning out their next moves. Behind the mask, Jay saw her dark eyes scan over him, studying him like a piece of machinery she wanted to better understand. She tilted her head. “Not bad, for some rando mercenary,” she said, glancing at him one last time before running off. Unlike at the tournament, she had no idea who he was. She didn’t beg him to come with them, she didn’t lie and claim she loved him. But still, she saved him. 

Like a goddamn fool

Jay ran in the opposite direction, only to circle back to her as the fight continued, their movements acting like a dance as they battled their opponents - rather than each other, this time - swords flashing in the dim light of the storm. 

His stupid, useless feelings nearly got him killed during that first fight. 

He had been watching her fight off a Dragonian, bewitched as he watched her move. The way her muscles flexed beneath the armor of her suit, the quickness she had on her feet as she dodged Dragonian swipes left and right, fighting back with both water and steel. Jay didn’t know what came over him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her until she turned, looking across the battlefield. Her dark eyes widened. 

“Look out!”

Jay turned just in time to see a blade zooming toward his face. He tried to deflect it, raising his own weapon to push the Dragonian away, the force of it knocking him back. He rolled across the sand, groaning. The sound came out garbled by his voice changer, a key part of his disguise. The last part of his anonymity, as he had no choice but to fight back with everything he had. He knew it would expose him, but he wanted to live more than he wanted to run away.

He rolled over onto his side, then onto his hands and knees, punching a fist into the sand, a crackle of light stemming from his gloved fingertips, rushing up his arm and under his tattered sleeve, across the scars he didn’t know the origin of. He gritted his teeth as a clap of thunder shot through the sound of the storm, pushing himself up as lightning wrapped around his fingertips, buzzing across his skin. He grinned at the feeling, at the chance to show these Dragonian clowns what true power is. 

He revved up, his hands glowing, an electrical current running up and down his spine. It was like he stuck his finger in a light socket, the power of it fueling him instead of frying him. Then, he looked across the battle field, choosing a single target - the Dragonian who had Nya cornered, her attention drawn toward Jay rather than the fight at hand - and throwing lightning at them, blasting them away from the Master of Water. The ninja he hated so much. She stared at him, her shocked expression hidden by her mask, but her posture showing how amazed she was.

Jay grinned under his own face covering. “Thought I’d lightning up the mood,” he said, shrugging, before he ran off into battle, leaving his sword behind as a thirst for electrical violence ran through him.  

Later, once the sky had cleared and the sun came out, Jay found himself pinned helplessly under a rock. Stupidly stuck, like a bug. Stupid!

He prepared himself to die there, alone in the middle of the desert that somehow felt familiar, when the sound of approaching footsteps barreled toward him, labored breathing following as the rock was shifted off of his leg. He shifted slightly, trying to raise his head, but he couldn’t see his mysterious savior from under the brim of his hat. Maybe someone had come to put him out of his misery.

Then, she grabbed him by the shoulders, tugging him into a sitting position, then shifted her grip to rest on his breast and his back, wrapping around him as he was pulled onto his feet. He tried to push away and stand for himself, not wanting to seem weak in the face of a possible opponent, but he couldn’t put any weight on his crushed foot. He fell back onto his hands and knees, where she kneeled by his side. 

“We need to get a splint on that leg,” she murmured, her hand making its way back to his back, resting right between his shoulderblades. “Let’s get you back to the monastery.” 

You can’t trust her, Jay. She’s trying to get into your head, humiliate you. Hurt you.

Jay shoved her hand away as she reached for his face coverings, rounding his back like a startled cat so that her hand would be pushed away. “Why are you gonna help me?”

He turned to look at her, studying her uncovered face for the first time since the tournament. Her hair was slightly longer, most of it falling from her ponytail in chunks, like a dark waterfall cascading around her cheeks. Her expression shifted rapidly from confusion to shock, then a grin toyed with her lips and she shoved his shoulder playfully.

“I know who you are, you big dummy!” 

Jay shook his head. He knew that lightning would be the thing to expose him. “Tsk, yeah, a secret man of mystery, whose identity will never-” 

“Elemental lightning, really?” she said with a grin as she crouched beside him, cocking her head. 

Shit. He paused for a second, trying his best not to sputter. “Yeah… lots of people probably have elemental lightning.”

“Nope.” 

Jay groaned, the sound mechanic through his mask. He paused for a moment, eyeing the rest of her brightly-colored team as they approached, and then pulled off his mask. He knew he didn’t really have a choice. Once his freckled cheeks were uncovered, the rest of the team’s eyes widened with recognition and they cried out like they knew him, but Jay could only focus on her. On the way her smile widened, her eyes scanned his face and twinkled. 

Unlike their encounter at the tournament, Jay wasn’t blinded by hatred. He could fully take in her beauty as she looked down at his monstrous, broken form with nothing but admiration. It made his heart race, and he knew he was in trouble.