Chapter Text
Prologue
Dazai was laying on his couch, headphones on, kicking his feet while he read an old book, his phone securely locked away in his bedside table along with his tablet. He had left his laptop in his spare room, out of power, and he had even turned off his TV. His windows were shut, blinds drawn, his front door locked. He had even warned his friends not to try to reach him. He could not think of any more he could've done to block out the entire world. Kunikida had looked at him like he was completely mad when he had told him his plan, but Dazai knew better: one could never be to careful when soulbonds were involved.
He absent-mindedly massaged the zero on his chest.
As it always happened, the numbers had appeared right over his heart when he had been born, counting down towards the day he was going to meet the person with Dazai's own name written in perfect calligraphy on their chest.
He had dreaded that day all of his life, and now it had inexorably arrived.
How he had wished, growing up, that he had been a fluke of the soulbond magic, one of the very few people in the world that didn't get anything on them. Being one of the lucky bastards that were born without their destined one would've single-handedly solved a lot of Dazai's problems.
He still remembered staring at those little, ever changing digits engraved in black on his skin so many times growing up, cursing them until he was hoarse, scratching uselessly at them until he bled. The countdown had never stopped, no sign had married the inky look of the numbers, only the skin around them. So he had hidden them away under a layer of bandages around his torso and pretended they weren't even there, had lived his life and ignored the deadline looming over his head for as long as he could. When the day had gotten too close to ignore, the numbers by then down to double digits, he had started planning.
Dazai was a clever man, and he did what he did best: he researched cases, news articles, statistics. He knew after meeting that person he'd be inexplicably drawn to them, the force surrounding the soulbond making it impossible for him to stay away. He had seen enough of his friends going through it, the way they stuck to their soulmates everywhere they went, hands clasped together, eyes never stopping searching for them when they got separated, the smiles coming up right away every time they found them, gravitating around them like they were their own personal, human suns.
If Dazai met them, he'd never be able to discard them. So he had read and read and learned, focusing on the possible limits of the bond, studying the stories the people that had met their soulmates in weird, statistically unlikely ways.
Leaving the Country for some time was not feasible: his soulmate might be a foreigner, or they might decide on a trip wherever he was going at the last minute. There were no rules, no bounds: if the Universe – or whatever controlled this thing – could find a way to push you together, it did.
So, since he could not outsmart it, he could at least try to isolate himself has much as he could: he wouldn't meet new people, nor would he meet up with somebody he already knew – too many variables he'd have to take care of. No electronics – he had gotten Katai to deactivate all of his accounts and numbers. He would re-activate them over the following days, could get a new SIM card later on if he had to, but no one would be able to contact him, not even by accident. He had even disconnected his doorbell, just in case, had gotten snacks and food in the pantry and books to occupy his time.
Maybe having the countdown had been a blessing in disguise: it was easier to plan when you knew when it was going to happen. It would've been much more taxing on his mind to be constantly anxious every time he had met a new person in his life, a never ending dread that he wouldn't wish on anybody – let alone himself.
But now time was dragging. Twenty-four hours were incredibly long when you were trying to avoid the world.
He had almost done it, though, he thought, checking the time on his – analogical – wall clock. He took off his headphones: only another fifteen minutes until midnight, until freedom.
Dazai twisted until he upside down, legs dangling from the back of the couch, and listlessly gazed at the wall for an indefinite time. Maybe a shower would help him not think for a bit.
He got up and went to start the water, waiting until it was hot and fuming, and turned on the music before getting in.
Ah. That was good. He could already feel the knots in his back loosing and his muscles relaxing under the hot jet.
He had just gotten out and wrapped his bandages and robe around himself, when he noticed an odd smell around. Like somebody was having a barbecue. At night.
Oh-oh.
He slowly dragged his feet out of the bathroom, but his apartment was alright. No fire anywhere he could see. That was good.
There were noises outside, people running and shouting, smoke making his way from under his entrance. That was not good.
Heavy knocks, like the person on the other side was trying to destroy his door. That was definitely not good.
“Open up!” A man called. Oh no. Dazai instinctively took a step forward, but didn't reply. He couldn't see the clock from the entrance, but he couldn't be too long before midnight, right?
Please, he thought. Whoever this is, just go away. Maybe he still had a chance.
“Open up!”
“I'm naked!” He bit his tongue right away. He shouldn't have confirmed somebody was inside.
“I don't give a shit! This is the Fire Department! There's a fucking fire in the building!”
“I'm okay!” He tried. “I'll come out shortly! You go ahead!”
“What the hell?!”
“I promise!”
“I can't believe it!” He heard noises outside, the same person cursing loudly. “Tachihara! The axe!”
What the fuck?!
He stopped himself from stepping forward again. Instead, he ran to the living room while his front door was quickly demolished by the fireman. With an axe.
He was tempted to just dive into his bedroom and lock himself in, but that madman would probably just break that one as well.
Right when the wood gave out completely and he heard somebody barge in, he glanced at the clock. He stopped on his tracks. Twelve twenty-four.
He had made it.
“Oi! Fucking idiot! What the hell are you doing?!”
The man grabbed Dazai's elbow and yanked him around. He had his protective gear on, his eyes covered by googles. He pulled down the mask covering his mouth and almost growled at him, but stopped. They stared at each other for a long moment, time almost slowing down, the guy just gaping at him. Dazai dazedly wondered what was happening. But he had probably inhaled a good amount of smoke by now, right? And maybe the man was shocked for the blinding smile he knew he was sporting?
The fireman shook his head and tightened his hold.
“There's a fucking active fire in the building!” He shouted again. “What the hell?!”
“You're right,” he calmly replied. He patted the hand keeping him in place and nodded toward the exit, coughing a bit. “We should definitely go. Right now.”
“... What?!”
“Hop! Hop!”
“Why didn't you just get out when I called you?!”
“I can be a bit shy. Let's go, com'on!”
He made towards the door, stopped, checked the guy out.
“I thought fireman had a minimum height. You sure this is real?”
“YES!”
“Just checking.”
He was definitely in a great mood, at the moment. Positively glowing. The world was a great, marvellous place.
Later he was sitting on a paramedics' ambulance, a blanket around his shoulders. The fire had been put out, and the entirety of his neighbours was waiting patiently to know what was going to happen.
The world was still a marvellous place.
The short fireman was marching away from the building, soot stains all over his gear. By the way he took off his helmet and googles he was clearly furious, and was beelining towards Dazai, the fire now burning inside his eyes. He was breathtaking.
Dazai swallowed and his stomach tensed in anticipation when he stopped right in front of him.
“What the actual fuck?!”
“Well, hello again~”
“Are you fucking nuts?! You could've died!”
“Eh, shit happens.”
“Other people could've died trying to save you! What the hell?!”
“I'm sorry...?” He tried. “I was just-”
“I don't give a shit what you were doing! Didn't you hear the fucking smoke alarm?!”
“... Did it go off?”
“Yes!”
“... In my defence, I was under the shower with music on.”
“Are you shitting me?!”
“No. I promise I had no warning whatsoever.”
“I WAS OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR! I IDENTIFIED MYSELF!”
“Maybe you were a scammer? How was I supposed to know?”
“What?!”
The disbelief was clear as day in the man's eyes. They were very blue, he noticed, a bit blood-shot, but that just made them pop even more. Dazai smiled up at him and the man gaped even more, speechless.
“Chuuya!” Another fireman approached them. “The police needs to talk to you!”
“... Am I in trouble?” Dazai asked. Chuuya glared daggers at him.
“You should!”
“But I'm not?”
“Sadly, no. But you might need to give a statement, so stay around.”
“Not moving.”
“Tachihara, keep an eye on this idiot. He's trouble.”
“... That's a bit much, isn't it?”
“No!”
“Cruel.”
“Don't let him out of your sight. I wouldn't put it past him to try sneak in again before we confirm it's safe. And you!” He glared at him. “You'll also need to get some medical attention, so. Stay. Put.”
“Aye aye!” He paused. “How will I know when I can go back in?”
“You wait for us to let you know.”
“I'd like to remind you I'm naked and without means to communicate with anyone in my life. My phone is still in my house.”
Chuuya rolled his eyes.
“I'll have someone notify you as soon as possible, mr...”
“Dazai.”
Chuuya blinked down at him, his silence a bit unnerving.
“Dazai Osamu.” He specified, mostly to break the tension.
Chuuya was clearly about to say something else, but somebody called him again. He cursed.
“Shit. Okay, I have to go now. You– Just... Don't die!”
“I can't promise that, but I'll try~”
Not really convinced by his words, Chuuya turned around and run to whoever had called him.
Dazai watched him go, smile still in place.
He had won. He had not met his soulmate. And he had been saved by a very hot, very intense fireman.
Life was, indeed, very, very good.