Chapter Text
The air wobbled from the heat of the sun, few things managed to survive in the harsh, desolate deserts of New Mexico, so it came to the surprise of the circling vultures when one was struck from the sky.
"Damn birds." A heavily accented voice hissed under her breath, sweeping her tail across the sandy ground and adjusting her hat to sheild her eye from the unforgiving rays of the sun. The golden tip of the barrel of Rifles gun glinted as she lowered it to her side, watching the vultures limp body land with a thud a few feet from an unconscious Medkit.
He hadn't woken up yet, but he was breathing. While Rifle didn't want to disturb the doctors beauty sleep, she also knew that Blackrockians didn't do well in the sun for too long. Their thick coats tended to hold in heat, which wasn't optimal for such hot weather.
"So..." A voice called from behind her. She turned her head to glance at Skateboard, who's arms and legs were bound by a rope that Rifle usually kept on her belt. "Are you actually gonna kill Banhammer?"
The lady rolled her eye, scoffing and pulling off her hat. She tossed it behind her, where it landed over Medkit's face. "Of course not, he's got information I need." Skateboard looked uncomfortable, not seeming too fond of a phight where nobody could respawn. "That and I doubt Sword would let me, somethin' bout those 'deities', as he calls them."
"I'm sure he knows what they're capable of better than anyone." A more familiar voice stated, as the doctor walked up from behind Rifle, placing her hat back on her head. "Doc! How long have ya been awake for?" She raised an eyebrow.
Medkit approached Skateboard, looking at his restraints with curiosity. "I've been awake since I had a hat tossed in my face." He remarked, kneeling down next to Skate, flicking his ear with a hint of amusement. "What'd you do to get yourself in this mess?"
"Didn't watch his mouth." Rifle answered for him, and for the first time, Skateboard was actually silent, clearly nervous. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face as he nodded, giving an uncertain smile.
An apologetic Slingshot approached Skate, comfortingly patting him on the back. "Don't worry, she won't kill ya." He reassured him, though the sharp-toothed grin of the woman looming over them said otherwise. "Right Katana?"
Rifles smile wavered as Slingshot called the masked man over. She'd already had a discussion with him, considering they were the first two to wake up. They both agreed that for the sake of everyone around them, they'd hold off on murdering eachother. Katana, who stood a few metres away, didn't say anything, or approach at all for that matter, simply glancing at Sling and nodding.
"While Scythe never agreed not to kill Skateboard, I'd suggest we avoid murder for the time being." The muffled voice of Hyperlaser chimed in. While the mercenary wasn't one to eavesdrop, he didn't exactly have anything else to do in this barren wasteland besides sitting on the back of an unconscious Subspace, who he'd taken the initiative to knock out the moment he layed his eye on the previously sleeping Medkit, the scientist had been out cold since.
Judging by the position of the sun, it had been about three hours, and yet some where still unconscious. A small group, consisting of Sword, Coil, Shuriken and Vinestaff had gone searching for civilisation two hours ago and hadn't been seen since. Every time Rocket got nervous, Katana and Hyperlaser had to reassure him that they certainly weren't dead.
Or at least Sword wasn't, considering that the only Inphernals really fit for the blistering heat where those from The Lost Temple. But Rifle insisted that if there was trouble, Sword would come back for help. She knew it'd be Sword... not like anyone else could survive alone in this temperature.
So then why was the figure rushing over the sandy horizon not Sword, but a small blur of green? "HELP!" It called, and Rifle recognised the unmistakable, whiney voice of Shuriken, scrambling towards the group with a frantic look in his eyes. He was alone.
Slingshot narrowed his eyes, seeming just as surprised as Rifle to see the little pest. "Shuri? Where's—" "THEY TOOK THE OTHERS!!!" He snapped, stopping so suddenly he kicked up sand and covered himself in it. After spitting out what had landed in his mouth, he turned on his heel to face back the way he came, reaching into his belt and grabbing a handful of throwing stars.
"Who... who is they?" Slingshot murmured, slowly reaching for his weapon. Yet when his fingertips brushed the handle of his slingshot, his arm fell to his side, then he collapsed. A loud bang rung out into the open air, and Skateboard, still bound by rope, lept in surprise and tumbled on his side, getting a face full of sand. He sputtered and squirmed around but eventually got enough sand out of his eyes to notice the blood pooling around Slingshots head.
Before the stranger could shoot again, Rifle had drawn her gun and opened fire in the direction of the shot. The area was littered with dust and bullets as she held down the trigger until she heard the clicking that indicated an empty magazine. Upon this she pulled another from her belt, reloading at lightning speed and preparing to fire again.
Yet before she could pull the trigger, Medkit stepped forward and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Rifle, I think that's enough." He snapped, seeming more irritated by her wasting bullets then he was the idea of her murdering people.
Instinctively she whipped around, smacking her ally's face with the scalding hot barrel of her rifle. The doctor stumbled back, hissing in pain and raising a hand to the bright red mark on his cheek. "Oh— shit! Sorry Meds." Rifle turned her gaze back to the clearing dust, where a group of silhouettes stood.
"It's fine." Medkit murmured, despite noticing that his coworker wasn't paying attention. He glanced back at the others, Katana and Hyperlaser had their weapons at the ready, and Shuriken had started cutting Skateboard free from his restraints with one of his ninja-stars.
"HEY!"
Now that was a voice none of them recognised. It was rough, and had an unidentifiable accent, yet it sounded similar to Blackrock. A tall, large man emerged from the dust, hoisting up a machine gun, aiming it at the group and scowling. "You shot little baby man." He growled, eyes darting to another stranger, who was significantly smaller and thinner than the other, holding a metal bat in one hand, and using the other to clutch a bleeding wound on his thigh.
"YOU SHOT OUR FRIEND TOO???" Skateboard remarked, gesturing with a shaking hand at the lifeless body of Slingshot. "Eh... friend is a... generous term." Scythe murmured, earning a sour glare from Shuriken.
"Doktor will handle that." The large man said casually, as he picked a bullet shell out of a hole in his vest, examining it, then tossing it to the side. He seemed amused by how small the bullet really was. "HE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD???" Skateboard snapped once again, absolutely bewildered by the ignorance of this man. The stranger ignored him, turning his gaze to Rifle, who didn't lower her gun. "You all wear stupid costume, why the horns?"
"Costume?" She raised her brow, grimacing at the idea that her clothes were considered a costume. "I'll have ya know these prosthetics are very real." She hissed, approaching the giant of a man with an almost arrogant amount of confidence.
"Wait, S— er... Rifle." Medkit called, causing her to pause and sigh dramatically. "What?" She snarled, clearly tired of her colleagues interruptions.
"Look at them, they don't have horns!"
Rocket, who'd been silent up till that point, practically shrieked in surprise, leaping a good few feet in the air. When he landed, his feet slipped out from under him and he went toppling to the ground. Hyperlaser turned to look at him, then back at the strangers, sighing. "They're also pink, and lack fur." He pointed out.
"Yeah— yeah wait they are pink?" Shuriken narrowed his eyes, frowning. "Hey don't be rude! They could be burn victims!" A surprisingly loud voice called from behind, making Shuriken practically jump out of his skin as he whipped around to see Boombox. "Wh- wha— when did YOU wake up?!"
"When that lady was shooting at these new guys!" He explained, gesturing to Rifle with an absent minded smile that quickly faded when he noticed Slingshots corpse on the ground. "Oh-"
"Hey wait a minute, I killed you!" The smaller stranger pointed at Shuriken with his bat, who tilted his head to one side in confusion. Upon the lack of response, he clarified. "Like- ten minutes ago??? When we kidnapped your other weirdo friends???"
"It was twenty." The larger one corrected. "Err, actually thirty." A third unfamiliar voice called, stepping out from behind the man. This one wore a white coat with a Red Cross on the sleeve, there was obvious faded blood stains all over it.
"Wha— how FUCKIN long have you been here— I thought you ran off when they opened fire??? Ya couldn't've healed me???" The smaller one said to the other, presumably a doctor. "Scout, I left ze Medi-Gun back at ze base." He spoke in a strange accent, folding his arms. "You said none of zhem had guns."
"Yeah, I didn't know that there was like- twenty more of those freaks?!" He said exasperatedly, gesturing to the Inphernals. "Eleven." The larger corrected once again. "Yeah yeah whatever fatass."
Suddenly, Rifle stepped forward again, poking the doctor with the end of her gun. "Shut the hell up. YOU. The big guy said ya could fix Slings head injury, do it." She demanded with a growl, the tip of her tail quivering to produce a loud rattling sound.
Before the man in the white coat could speak, a large hand gripped the barrel of Rifles gun, tugging it to the left with an unexpected amount of force, unbothered by the fact the barrel was still hot. She glared at the man who dared to touch her gun, and he glared right back. "Do not point tiny gun at doktor." He stated calmly.
"Fine then." Rifle stepped back, raising her gun and spinning it in her claw-like hand. The three strangers were taken by surprise when the back of the odd firearm began to flicker, and an arch of electricity formed in the shape of a scythe. She came closer once again, holding the sparking "blade" to the medics throat, lips forming a grin.
"I'm not askin' ya to fix Sling cause I like him." She began, clearly not caring about the sparks that hit the doctors neck, causing him to wince as they sizzled against his skin. "I'm askin' ya to fix him so Skateboard won't be cryin' fer the next sev'ral hours."
The man had an awkward, difficult to look at smile on his face that crept up his cheeks much further than what would be considered "normal", he held his hands up in surrender, not exactly wishing to have his throat slit at that very moment. "Vell, I can fix him..." He began, gesturing to the body.
"But I must take him back to base, I don't simply carry zha tools necessary fer a complex brain surgery on me at all times." The skinner one rolled his eyes again, muttering something about needles. This caused the doctor to turn his head sharply, narrowly avoiding the blade of Rifles scythe. "Oh? Did you mention mein needle gun, Scout?"
"Wuh- no." The one that Rifle had gathered was called "Scout" spoke defensively, taking a step behind his larger colleague. "Oh I think you did! Does Scout vant some medicine?" He reached into his belt, pulling out a machine that made Medkits face contort into a disturbed frown. A gun that'd been modified to launch needles...
"No! Fuck off freak!" Scout snapped, and the others couldn't help but agree, watching the crazed man back away from the weapon at his throat and rapidly approach his colleague, needle-gun in hand. "I... I wasn't done threatenin' him..." Rifle muttered, bewildered.
The larger man, who seemed to also be the most normal out of the three, turned back to Rifle, completely unphased by the fact the doctor had caught up to Scout and was now holding him down while he squirmed frantically in an attempt to avoid the needle. "We take small fuzzy man to base?" He offered, taking a step towards the body.
"Uh- don't worry! I'll carry him!!!" Boombox offered out of the blue, darting forward and scooping the smaller Inphernal up with surprising ease, seeming to not fully trust the giant of a man before him. "He weighs about the same as my equipment anyway— so it's not a big deal!"
Skateboard had gotten up, wiping the sand and tears from his eyes. Rifle hadn't even noticed he'd started crying. "Yeah, uh— Boombox can carry him to your base..."
He glanced back at Shuriken, who now stood with Katana, who had a hand comfortingly on his back.
"Should I wake large man in armour?" Rifle tensed up, snapping her attention back to the stranger. "Absolutely not! Good lord no!!! He'll have me n 'Kit flattened!" She hissed, glaring at the sleeping demigod with disdain.
The large stranger seemed almost impressed, he'd never met someone taller and larger than him... especially by the amount Banhammer was.
"Is he light sleeper?"
Before Rifle could answer with an exasperated "I don't know", the large man had already thrown Banhammer over his shoulder, taking a moment to regain his balance. "Nevermind that, someone else carry large hammer, I cannot do both."
Rifle glanced at Medkit and Boombox, who looked at eachother. Boombox shook his head, while trying to avoid getting blood in his fur.
Medkit sighed, taking a few steps towards the giant purple hammer on the ground and wrapping both hands around the handle, but his fingers didn't even go all the way around...
"Nope, I can't... I think it weighs more than me." He hissed, not hearing the footsteps approaching behind him. "Move." A voice spoke, and startled by the Blackrock accent, Medkit whipped around, being greeted by a helmeted figure. It was just Hyperlaser.
Still, Medkit couldn't help but glance back where Subspace lay unconscious, noticing that Katana and Shuriken where standing next to him... thankfully.
With little to no struggle, Hyperlaser lifted the hammer, which was almost a foot taller than him. He turned to Medkit, as if he noticed that the healer looked tense. "My gun weighs just a bit less than The Wardens hammer." He explained monotonously, before turning back to the stranger, who seemed surprised that someone that was, to him, so small, could lift something that large.
"Lead the way." He requested, to which the large man nodded, turning and calling for The Medic to leave Scout alone. The Medic seemed disappointed, yet got up anyway, returning his gun to his belt. Scout got up soon after, shaking the sand off of himself and sighing in relief. "Thank god."