Chapter Text
Okay. So maybe he cared more than he’d like to [admit it~] when it came to his ex-partner (WORK PARTNER! THAT WAS ALL THEY HAD BEEN! ANYONE SAYING ANYTHING ELSE WAS A LIAR). But, well, [ FUCK OFF ], he was [deals]ing with it! In… some sense of the word.
So what if he was currently dragging [ DEAD ] weight in the [fuck]ing snow so the [Damn] [cathode] didn’t get more damaged than he was!? What you gonna do bout it? Sue him!? EHEHEAAHHAHAHAHAAAA— LIKE HE HAD ANYTHING TO [don’t lose these bargains]!
So he grit his teeth and [ kept on grooving~! ] until he had to take a [ad break]. He groaned, rubbing at his back a moment before turning his attention back to that [bitch]. For [Heaven]’s sake, ONE DAY. That’s [all day every day!] he wanted right [MAKE IT BIG NOW! NOW! NOW! ] Stupid knight. Stupid prophecy. Stupid TV—
…Jeez. The guy certainly was living up to [trash heap] right now, wasn’t he?
He stared. Not [find hot singles in your area!] bit of motion from the TV host. He tilted his head to the side as he walked back over to warily nudge one of [cathode]’s legs.
Limp. The limb was limp. Everything about the other was limp. Might as well have been [down in the dumps]. With all the other trash. Heh.
USELESS. UNWANTED. [NOTHING].
A chuckle clawed its way from his tightening throat. It tasted like [ITBURNNNSSITBURNNNSITBUR]. He swallowed thickly.
In the heaps! The loads! The cracked china and busted pots! A real pair they’d make!
His smile strained, a [Give An Old Pal A Hand!] moving to tug at his [HA][HA]—[HA]ir as more laughter pried itself from between his gritted, bared teeth.
[[Surprise your loved one today with this neat trick!]]
A right hoot!
HOW PATHETIC!
[YOU] [DID] [ THIS ]!
He didn’t deserve this. He deserved it. This was preventable. He couldn’t do anything to stop it. The aftermath. The knowing. He shoulda been there—
“WELL!1!11! WELL!!!1! WELL!!!” He crowed sharply, trying to force his mind anywhere else. He shakily fell to his knees, eyes darting about for even a hint of the other being [LIVE BROADCAST!]
There. Was. Nothing.
He snapped his fingers sharply, “GETTTT—GET YOuR OWN S-S—SpOT [Buddy ole pal, oh chum!] AND [Just Beat It]!”
Bite back. Say something. Show me sparks. Show me hate. Something!
No one else should be like this. No one was supposed to want this [[1 out of 10 doctor’s recommend]] [ Reservation Spot ]! He was already [ruined everything you touched]. Now the TV wanted a share of the misery, huh?
“[Trash heap] C0ME ON—NNN! YOU [ignore]ing Me?”
No response. His eyes burned. His hands were buried into the snow now. His chest heaving sharply. His trembling fingers wrapped against that stupid suit, his voice pitching. “[ #*?!ING 8@$£@&} ]!!!111!! I AM [Speak Up!] TO YOu!”
Little too late to care now, isn’t it?
You know how the story should go.
How it would go.
How it went.
How it—
“PATHETIC!!!1!! STUUUUPI!!D! [Televised for your connivence~!] WAK£ UP.” So what if [Ant]’s screen was a bit cracked!? What if he was [a bit off the top]! IT WAS FI NE! THE TV WOULD BE FINE!
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE STUBBORN! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ANSWERS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A— AAAA — [partner].
He took a sharp breath in before crawling onto the other’s [keep it close to your chest], he didn’t doubt his expression right [NOW! N0W! NOW!] bordered hysteria. He dug his fingers into both sides of that blank, darkened screen. He could see his [OWN YOUR VERY OWN—] reflection glaring back.
He could still feel that static-y sensation, the teasing of warmth. Had to be something he could— [DUI TRICKS]? Maybe!? [SHIT]… cmon, cmon…
He tried smacking that screen a few times, wincing in silent [Apologies]. It didn’t do a damn thing. Okay— okay, okay, what worked for— AHA. Maybe… he slammed a fist against the other’s frame, cringing and [hopes and prayers] that it would wo—
A sound. He tensed, eyes darting about. Had that… that actually worked!? HA! YES.
“…[HELLO]?”
There was a click, and even if that screen was a mess of pixels and colors, he couldn’t help but feel the tension cut slack.
Thank [Heaven], he’s alive.
Wait. That’s not how things are supposed to— DOES IT FUCKING MATTER!?
Like a [[WINNER! WINNER! CHICKEN DINNER!]] without the comb and crow, the [so sad, too bad] struggled to look up at him. He tilted his head to the side in turn, a spark of [ ] making an eye twitch.
“ …sssszzzst…h? ”
“WHAT’S IT T0 YOUu [Wise Guy]?” He scrambled back to his feet, still [standing on top of the world!]
“W…wwhzzt… h—llo…?” That busted screen flickered with one [light of my life~!] glow, the sheer relief making his tensed grimace relax some.
Can you even see me? Do you recognize me? My voice? My face? I can’t be that different… can I?
“[HELLLOOOOO!]” He leaned down with his hands clasped behind his back, smile stretching until it ached.
A wheeze forced the other’s chest to fall sharply, nearly making the smaller lose his balance. “H—hey what— g-ggget— oooz!”
He imagined if Tenna had his arms still, he woulda been smacked off like a [BUG]. Seeing as [cathode] was a bit… [disarmed], he didn’t really have much to worry about in regards to that or possibly being grabbed either. He readjusted himself with a tsk, eyeing the sparks that scattered from those ruined wires.
“YEESH!!! [[Big deals in your area!]] C’MON, [smell the roses], IMMA A-aaaa—AS-K YOU TO [tie the knot], [pal]!” He glared down at [That Damn TV], moving to adjust his collar.
The big fella still seemed [ GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT ] of it but well, that made things [easy-peasy] for him! “YOU G—gO0–[gloopy!]!!1!— GOT [[ONE HELL OF A BARGIN!]] GOlN’ FOR YOU [my good b!tch]! WHILE YOU SEEMnnM [down in the dumps], I TH1NK [help is on the way, dear!]”
[ BIG SHOT ] stared at him with what could best be described as a grimace, all gritted teeth and a bound of [YOU SURE YOUR DOG DON’T BIT€?] He tilted his head, folding his hands [how polite!] behind his back again.
“WELL! [Cat got your tongue] [M ik e ]?”
That screen darkened before sputtering back into an array of jumbled, shifting colors, [Teen]a shuddering before speaking again. “…w..whasssszt… are you t—t-talkin’ about…? Whatzzz— hhssst… going on?”
He tsked, wagging a finger [to and fro] before chirping back in response, “[All good things to those that wait!] YOU APPEAR A BIT [ OUT ON A LIMB ] AT THE MMMO[mint]!”
“…o…okay?”
He rolled his head with a sharp huff, “[ A farewell to arms ], [STRIKE THREE!!!! ], [whoa there tiger!]” He didn’t expect it was [hardly a challenge!] for the other to realize something was off soon enough— or well, if the way the other’s body was [shudder]ing with the effort of wanting to move but being unable to. It was all the [doom and gloom] of a [ I’m… sorry ].
“…like the book?” [Washed out] mumbled, trying to tilt his screen to look at his shoulders with a furrowed brow.
“[#*?!] [what a nerd!], yOU’VEee READ TH^T!?”
“I th…think so…?”
“[[ SAVE BIG!!! ]] YOUR BR€ATH! [A true case of madness.] NOW THAT’S WHAT I [ don’t pick up the phone ] A [[SPECIAL PRIZE— CLICK HERE!]]”
A long stare and a silence undisturbed by nothing but the hiss of wind and the sparking of electricity… hm. Now that he thought bout it, was that [FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!] still going on or—?
Whatever! Whatever, the [little sponge] and their posse would be fine— right…? YEAH. Yeah, yeah, right! They were fine!
The [fraud] tapped a foot sharply a few times. “…[Now look here pal] YOU [[Been In An Accident? Call—]] [G0T IT?”
“…head hurrrtzz…”
“WELL, THAT IS K¡NDA [these things happen!] WHEN [YOU] GET [struck by good deals!] D0WnnN [ BUY BUY BUY!!! ] AA [double-edged sword]!”
“Whuh?” It seemed good ole [Say. My. Name.] was talking a quicker sort now. More aware of himself and their [less than ideal] surroundings. “Wh…where even am I?” That screen shifted, and Spamton snapped his fingers sharply to get [Ant]enna’s attention back on him.
“DOESN’T MATTER, [cathode]!”
“…where’d, where’d you hear that?”
He tilted his head, “THE [#*?!] AR€ Y0U TALK¡NG aaa-ABOuT!”
That screen slumped back to stare up at the sky, “Nothing.”
Yeesh, what now, the idiot have a [screw loose] too? He clacked his jaws together and moved to clamber off the show host’s chest, almost face-planting into the snow as he did so. He popped right on back— [CAN’T HOLD ME DOWN~!]— and went about to figure his [up next!] course of [AAAAAAND, ACTION! ]
“HMMMMM,” he ground his teeth, rubbing his [jazz hands!] against one another in thought. Maybe… hm. Maaybe if he got [cathode] to his [feat]—ttthey could walk—
But [WHERE WHERE WHE—] to…? Oh. He. He hadn’t thought that far actually, a twitch crossing his strained [SMILE AND BARE IT].
Somewhere the [night night] couldn’t follow— wait.
HA. That was [Right 0n The Mon£y~!], Castletown! Castletown… where [ALL YOU CAN BUYY] hated [#1 Salesman 1997!]
He dragged his fingers through his hair before rubbing at his jaw, fuuuuuuck. You know what!? Fine. FINE [EVERYTHING IS JUST WONDERFUL]!!!
Now to get the dumb[@$$] [TV] to his feet.
~
“STAY.” He snapped, grunting as he worked his way to push [cathode] into a sitting position from behind.
“SSS—orey! I-I’m jussskk—“
“[STOP STOP STOP] sssSQ[worm]ing!”
The damn idiot kept trying to [Get Up!] and it was [you are pissing me off here, pal]! He dug his feet into the snow as he worked, just thankful that, despite his looks, the TV was much lighter than you’d think. Still, was a [BIT] of a challenge, but [Heaven above!] he managed!
Once [Teen]a was upright, he took a breather to adjust his suit. “NOW… [yeesh]— nNOw… T0 Ghhh—GET THIS [show] ON ThhE ROAD EHEHEHEA!”
“I, uh, I zzt—can barely feel, feel… hhalf my screen—“
“IT’S FFFINEEEEEE!” He waved the concern away, snapping his fingers sharply, “NOW C’MON [cathode]!”
“…I don’ttt— know why I’m truzzting you.”
“EHEHEEHEAAHA! YOU DON’T HAV£ A CHOICE [hot stuff]!”
“Mmmm.” Despite what remained of the TV’s face being fixed into a grimace, he swore there was something almost like— eh, trick of the [Light] probably.
~
Tenna was, as quietly as he could,
~♥ 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓾𝓽 ♥~
You know. Normal stuff, eheheeh… heh…
Yeah. This! This whole “situation” was some of the worst material he’d had the great ole displeasure of acting out~!
And he’d seen some real cheap shows in his time, wouldn’t you know it! But oh boy, he, heh, he really missed, uh, you know… *hands*!
Or wrists. Or forearms. Or just… arms in general. Everything below the shoulder really.
Just… uh. Not ideal! Yeah. And oh, what else? Aha— his screen? Cracked~! His head? Absolutely killing him~! Not to mention the rat running around his legs barking orders and nudging him this and that-a-way. Where was his studio? Where were the kids…? Where was, where was he?
“Ssst—closeer?” His voice was strained, the TV host turning his screen to try and catch a glance of the lil fella darting about his feet, “Y-You— zzzhere?”
Wouldn’t, uhm, wouldn’t be good if he was left all alone out here! In the, the middle of, uhm, good ole NOWHERE~! Heh, w-would it? Oh, oh please tell him the other hadn’t ditched him the first chance he got— was the other even real—?
“[KEEP WALKING].”
Despite the spook the garbled speech gave him, it was an instant relief. He did not want to be alone right now. Tenna bit down a wary chuckle, trying not to topple over as snowflakes drifted by his screen. Would have been a nice night to stargaze if it weren’t for the utter hell of today’s broadcasting.
Probably the worst performance of his career, hell— his whole life, in fact! Just… today wasn’t his day :(
“KeeEP [get a move on]!”
Didn’t help that this lil guy was so bossy… ugh, he hated how familiar that voice was. A cheap mockery. An irritating buzz flickered through his head, Tenna managing to catch himself when he nearly stumbled.
“…h—y,” he went to try and adjust his tie, shivering a bit at the unnerving sensation of moving his arm without there being any arm to move. He cleared his throat instead, “Hey?”
“WHaT.”
“I, ah, I ap—reciate, I— hank ouuy, I—“ He stopped walking, trying to clear his throat again, one antenna twitching sharply. Goodness! Did his voice box get busted? Can’t have a host without a voice to boast! That just wouldn’t do!
They’ll toss you away now that you’re broken~!
He swallowed thickly, opening his mouth to try again when a small fist smacked him in the leg, Tenna just about tripping over himself to back away. He wobbled dangerously before stiffly swaying to a stand still. There was a heavy pause before the other spoke slowly.
“[Save BI—] [SAVE] yo—YOUR [breathe].”
“E-sssy— eezzt-ttz—“ He gave a strangled laugh, more of a choked string of static, “I—I-I—“
“[STOP IT] [boobtube]!”
His vision cut out a moment before he snapped back to the moment. He really wanted to cry all of a sudden.
“[Keep Calm and Keep On]!”
He sniffled softly. Just had to— just, well! The show must go on! He grit his jaw and gave a little nod before cautiously starting to walk again as a hand tugged at his pant leg.
Just… just had to keep his chin up! Yeah! Heh, he… h-he’d be fine, he’d be just peachy.
He tried to ignore as his vision darkened with each step, screen slowly angling downwards. Tenna just, he just felt oh-so gloppy right now, head practically pounding as each motion jostled him about, steam practically pouring from his vents as the heat came to a boil, legs feeling stiffer and stiffer.
He was just— without warning, Tenna was plunged into darkness. Audio cut out, visuals gone.
When the TV host hit the ground, he barely felt it.