Chapter Text
Frowning, Rowan sat in the dim light of cabin magpie moth, examining his face in the mirror. It was hard to see in the cabin, with all the windows covered by heavy blackout drapes, but gods forbid he uncovered the windows so that She could see him. Rowan was having a hard enough time perceiving himself without the added pressure of Her staring, judging all of his small imperfections.
Speaking of imperfections. He stared into the mirror in the cabin's shared bathroom, twisting his face to try to find some hint of recognition in the face he saw before him. He didn't know when the last time he had stared into the mirror and recognized what stared back. He was just being stupid. It wasn't like anything OTHER than him would be staring back. He just needed to get to sleep.
He dragged himself out of the bathroom and shuffled down the hallway leading to the bunks, passing the corkboard covered in pictures of the campers and counselors, his gaze catching on one particular photo, back from when he and Juniper were still campers. He loved that photo. His face was soft, free from the hard lines that came with being a counselor at this godforsaken camp and free from the hard lines of jawbone that came with going through puberty. Rowan snatched the photo from the corkboard and lay down on his and Juniper’s bunk, pulling his heavy weighted duvet on top of his whole body.
He dug his short, bitten nails into his palms. Goddamn it. This was ridiculous, even for him, Mr can-barely-go-outside-because-he’s-afraid-of-the-sky. He pulled the blanket further over him, wishing there was someone behind him to provide the warmth and pressure he so desperately lacked, and settled down to- well not sleep, but as close to sleep as he ever got.