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Hollow footsteps echoed across the cavernous corridor as Tenna stepped out of his temporary room, the door clicking behind him.
It seemed the castle was silent at this time of night. Well, aside from the muffled sound of his neighbor's mixtape and her uproarious laughter. Regardless, what Tenna really needed was to be alone.
Since waking up from his repairs, Tenna had spent the entirety of his time speaking with all his empl—former employees. And, he was grateful for their kindness and willingness to forgive him, he really was! He wouldn't even be here if they hadn't…
Tenna walked down the steps of the prince's castle, approaching the front gate, thankful to see no living souls around him. Though, that man-shaped navy blue lamp standing in the foyer was awfully suspicious…
He shrunk down to a more average height, giving the conveniently-shaped lamp one last passing glance as he stepped through and out into Castle Town. Tenna hated the feeling of sneaking around; he was meant for the big screen! But, even he needed moments to himself.
When he was in TV World, he'd walk to the Couch Cliffs when he needed a moment to pace and think. His darkners knew his habits, and would let him brood in peace. But here, darkners didn't know him, didn't respect him, and he really didn't want to deal with another interaction.
Especially after encountering those addisons earlier today. They just wouldn't leave him alone! And their stupid too-familiar faces… he was hoping they would forget about his half-baked promise of giving them an advertising slot, but they probably wouldn't.
He sighed. That was a problem for another day.
Most of the darkners Tenna saw were from Card Kingdom, having no need for night and day when they had no lightners to engage with in the first place. They paid him no mind, and Tenna pretended he wasn't thinking about how close he was to ending up in the same position.
Finally, he reached the outskirts of Castle Town. It wasn't quite the same as it was in his home dark world, but it was close enough. Tenna breathed deeply, trying to quell his nerves as he returned to his normal size and started up the faint path.
Cold air swarmed around the jutting peaks of violet cliffs, thin yet oppressing enough to shroud the dark atmosphere in silence. The crunch of broken rock under once-polished shoes cut through the isolated environment, the white glow of his warm screen producing the only source of life.
Tenna paced slowly across the uneven ground, watching the uncertain path ahead of him. His stature made the desolate outskirts of Castle Town marginally easier to navigate, but it still wasn't easy in the empty darkness around him.
A quiet static hiss escaped him as pain shot up from his arm once again, electrical tape digging uncomfortably into the inside of his joints.
Right, that. He was… he was…
Tenna didn't remember much from the closure of his Dark World, but that was perhaps a blessing.
An agonizing burn as he was harshly cleaved, sensation leaving his arms as he felt, or rather heard, something slump against the deafening snow. His legs collapsed, his broken body rolling and sliding down the cold slopes, left to be buried by the encroaching storm.
His screen must've cracked at some point, and Tenna had never been more appreciative of the fact that his body worked differently from his Light World counterpart, and that he hadn't violently shot glass shrapnel at Toriel and the kids.
He reached under his collar and felt at his reattached shoulders, a new habit he'd gained since recovering. Realistically, his darkners, Susie, and now the folk from Castle Town had done all they could for him. This was as good as it would get.
As good as he would get.
He was painfully aware of how he looked in the Light World. His left antenna was permanently bent, and he hadn't been able to get as clear of a signal from it as he used to. The faint outline of the games Kris and Asriel loved to play were burned into his screen. His case was covered in dust and the white, ripped remains of the stickers the kids put on him, and the parents tried to remove. He couldn't produce quite the correct colors anymore.
Yet, they didn't leave him to rot in the snow. His employees—the ones he yelled at and exploited with the contracts—forgave him. They fixed him. They were happy to see him today, and they'd even built a little TV building in town despite no longer being legally bound to him.
Tenna had walked around town all day, speaking to former employees and new darkners alike. He was simply looking for closure. Because he shouldn't be here much longer. Because he was going to get a new home. Susie promised. He wasn't scrap! She said someone wanted him! Even if it's already been 24 hours and he was still here—
Tenna absentmindedly kicked a rock off the cliff. He listened for the sound of it hitting the ground, but it never came. The light of his screen flickered. In the suffocating darkness, even the slightest whistling of wind sounded like a voice following him.
Someone would want him. Right? Right? He still turned on, even if his components were damaged with age. He was a perfectly functional TV! Who doesn't love TV???
He wasn't broken! He wasn't past fixing! He wasn't beyond repair!
Tenna brushed off his suit jacket, grateful that he owned several identical copies of it and wasn’t stuck wearing the one the Knight had ruined. Outside of his concerns about the future, there was a certain question that had plagued his mind ever since he woke up and discovered that Queen was his new roommate.
Castle Town was positively swarming with Cyber World darkners. Swatch and their fellow servants, the ones that Ramb looked like, every single one of those irritating addisons…
So, where was he?
That little traitor had his stupid face plastered onto more merchandise than he himself did, and that was saying something. Tenna could only imagine what state Cyber City was in, plastered with headache-inducing commercials and overrun with low quality products as that freak’s networth climbed higher and higher.
Meanwhile, Tenna’s studio was left to rot. Viewership decreasing, budget drying up, equipment aging. He’d been unplugged, abandoned, all while that little grifter with his definitely-shorter-nose was no doubting laughing over what he did.
Tenna couldn't help but scream in frustration, gripping the sides of his head. His own voice echoed around him, a mocking, apathetic audience.
What did Tenna do to deserve this? Why had he been abandoned? Didn't they love him? Why couldn't things go back to the way they were?
He froze as something heavy scraped against the stone behind him, as though it was being painfully dragged across the ground. Tenna spun on his heel to face the sound. If someone heard him, that was going to be really annoying to explain to the censors—
Tenna looked up, then further up. Two circular stage lights, one pink, one yellow, shone brightly upon the opposite side of the path Tenna had taken. The light bounced off the purple stone, illuminating one side in nauseating magenta and the other in sickly gray.
The lights lurched forward, accompanied by the sound of metal loudly screeching against itself. On the other side of town, the dark fountain pulsed infinitely into the sky, illuminating a sliver of the massive, amorphous form in front of him. Awful radio interference came from somewhere, shifting in volume as though the thing was breathing.
“Ah, why, hello, dear viewer! Are you perchance lost?” Tenna asked politely, tenting his hands while subtly shuffling away. He did not want to deal with people right now, let alone whatever… this was. Was Prince Ralsei aware of this thing?
It simply inched closer, a sharp, pointed spike coming into view underneath the spotlights, almost like a nose.
“HAHA! Well, I'm afraid I'm not signing autographs right now, so you can head on back to town!” Tenna smiled with too many teeth, waving his hand in dismissal. What was this thing’s deal? Couldn't a guy contemplate his existence in peace around here?
“[[TRA$H H3AP]]!!!” Awful, garbled noise bubbled out of the hulking figure as it attempted to speak in a raspy, metallic voice, its frame finally coming into the range of Tenna's screen.
Before him stood a mangled mix of flesh and steel. Jagged metal devoid of luster cut into patches of tangled black fur, a broad, armored chest creaking as the thing fought to breathe. Its disproportionately long arms hung limply, nearly dragging across the ground due to its heavily-hunched posture. It clumsily dragged its feet across the ground as it slowly shuffled forward.
A long, skeletal face came into view, the gums and inside of its mouth fully visible as though the skin was simply peeled off. Sharp cheekbones formed an unnaturally wide smile, filled with elongated, yellowed teeth that resembled shards of rotten glass. Greasy black hair spilled out of its skull and down its unnaturally long neck, tangled and matted.
“WOAH! How the WHAT the mama What the HECK Hey the what the mia Woah how What MAMA MIA That's WOAH the what THE—” Tenna paused for a breath. “—What the heck is THAT!? Some kind of BEAST? Some kind of CREATURE?” Tenna stammered, taking much wider steps in the opposite direction while pointing at it dramatically. His antenna scrunched backwards in disgust as it only got closer. This nasty thing would certainly never be allowed to air on television!
The machine began to laugh, a broken, gurgling sound that repeated and overlapped with itself, rising in volume as it tilted its strange head at Tenna.
“EHAhHAa! HaHAHAEA!! ISN'T TH1S [Power] JUST [[H E A V E N L Y]]!?!??” The hum of building magic filled the air as its triangular chest began to glow, hindered by the dirt caked into the glass. Several lights came to life across its disproportionate body, lines of acid green threaded through the gaps between its joints.
“[2X the fire power], [3X the water power]!” the robotic beast continued before Tenna could get a word in, voice completely shifting in tone and pitch as though it was switching between different channels in order to speak. “AND [[Best of All]] IT’S NOW [Wireless internet]!!!”
The thing's spindly clawed hand started to convulse before it fully retracted into the bulky, misshapen forearm. The parts around it started to shift, stuttering as they twisted into a larger shape. A nozzle replaced its hand, gradually glowing white as it—
Tenna quickly jumped out of the way as it aimed the barrel of its new arm cannon point-blank at his face. A massive ball of white hot energy shot out, bursting against the ground in a violent explosion.
The burning light fully illuminated the mechanical monstrosity for the first time, showing the disorienting mix of bright colors that covered its body, as well as the two massive wings sprouting from its back. Dozens of bent, broken feathers, sharp as knives, mantled around its hunched form, sending the pulverized dust from the explosion directly at Tenna's face with a single flap of its wings.
Tenna coughed, grateful he didn't have eyes to get rock particles into. Plumes of steam leaked from the nightmarish beast as it snarled angrily, almost completely obscured by the cloud of dust around it.
“HAVENN’NT Y> OU [[Done]] EN0UGH TO ME ALR3ADY!?!” it screeched, voice corrupted enough for it to sound painful. “[Stay still] SO I CAN [[Killed]] YOU!!!” Clawed hands reached through the fog, blindly grasping in Tenna's direction.
“Woah, get in line, pal! We definitely can't air that on TV!” Tenna quipped, waiting for Mike to play the laugh track.
But there was no response.
His smile wavered. There was no audience, not anymore. No film sets, no cue cards telling him what to do, no security team. It was just Tenna and the giant deranged robot trying to kill him.
“YOU [Tratoirus] [[CATHODE]]!!!” Tenna continued backing away as the thing tripped on its own feet, which was announced by a massive, metallic thud. It made more computerized noises as it got back up, wobbling wings directing another round of air pollutants into Tenna's screen.
What the hell was this darkner supposed to be in the Light World, anyways? Surely no self respecting Lightner would recruit something as ugly as this thing.
Tenna couldn't quite bite down a yelp as a massive, white phone receiver shot past him, missing his shoulder by a nose's width. The absurdly-long cord cut through the darkness, attached to the now hand-less arm of the beast.
“Haha, YIKES, folks! I think I'm going to have to take points off for that o—” A second phone shot out of the darkness, hitting Tenna in the abdomen.
He grunted, too slow to react as the first phone's cord wrapped around his leg and started slowly dragging him across the floor.
“Hey, can't we talk about this? What did I do to you!?” Tenna dug his claws into the rock, struggling to get a proper grip.
“YOU [Ruined] E VERYTHING!!! Y0U [[Took everything in the]] FROM ME!!!!!” The cord was dragged even closer.
Actually, what the hell am I doing? This thing was trying to murder him! That's a reasonable justification for self defense!
Tenna clapped with all his focus, performing a SMASH CUT that sliced directly through the phone cord. With a glitchy screech, both phones disintegrated into magic, then nothing, and the creature’s hands returned.
Ha! Still got it!
Tenna stood up, brushing gravel off his suit and moving a good distance away. Should he keep attacking it? Maybe it could tire itself out? He'd prefer to just run away, but, considering the thing could potentially fly, he wouldn't get very far.
“Well, I think I'd remember doing that,” Tenna said, wondering if he should just make a break for it. What was it even talking about? Was this thing insane? Probably.
“I KNOW [[You know]],” it growled, steam leaking from its mouth. “YOU HAVEN'T [Signs of aging] SINCE [[New Year 1997]]!”
It lurched forwards, snapping its teeth, and missed again. The beast put a hand against the ground as its knee buckled, then shakily got back up, wings flapping erratically. It seemed awfully clumsy, like it never knew what to do with its limbs.
“Look, I really don't know what you're talking about! You've got the wrong CRT!” Tenna said, nearly tripping on the rocky ground himself. It was still pitch black out here, with really only the light of Tenna's own screen to guide himself.
The robot's eyes flickered to a medium shade of blue, the whining hum of energy emitting from its throat.
“WHAT? DON'T RECOGN1ZE ME NOW THAT I’M [[GOD]]???” A white fireball shot from between the thing's unhinged jaws, decorated with a weirdly familiar smiling, pointy-nosed face.
Then, another, and another. Tenna could feel his age catching up as he veered out of the way. He wasn't opposed to joining in on a Physical Challenge every now and then, but his shows didn't usually involve actual danger. How much longer could he keep this up? He hadn’t even fully recovered from the last time someone tried to kill him!
Tenna took another step back, then froze as his hand brushed against the cold stone, the sensation sinking straight through his glove and down his spine. He was at the base of a cliff. Cornered.
Tenna summoned a flurry of stars, trying to keep the beast back as it stalked closer, giddy laughter leaking from its throat. The projectiles bounced off the metal of its body. It didn't even react.
This thing had to have a weak point, right? Right? He just has to find it, right? Tenna scrambled to the side as curved claws reached towards his screen.
He wasn't fast enough.
Steam that reeked of decay blew across Tenna's face as he was harshly pinned against the ground, jagged rocks tearing into his red suit.
A single clawed hand held Tenna in place, the weight of the beast threatening to bend his metal ribs. Thrashing his limbs did nothing.
The other hand curled around his face, leaving painful scratches in Tenna's freshly repaired screen.
“Look! I'm gonna be leaving town soon, anyways! You don't have to worry about murdering me, alright?” Tenna pleaded, still struggling. He literally just got a second chance, and this was how it ended?
If he lived, would anyone bother giving him a third chance?
The machine laughed and laughed, an endless stream of mockery as its grip only grew tighter.
Tenna's shaking hand reached towards his pocket, pulling a pressurized canister out of his inventory.
As slowly as he dared, Tenna carefully positioned the nozzle, and slammed his finger on the trigger.
White foam sprayed directly into the creature's mouth, and it recoiled instantly, producing awful computerized noise in reaction. It stumbled around blindly as its entire head was soon covered, nearly crushing Tenna's foot in the process. He quickly booked it out of there, hearing a car honk coming from the thing's direction.
…Specifically the same honk the Cungaderos used.
Tenna gasped as he sprinted, his physical fitness far from where it used to be in his prime. Should he look for help in town? What if this thing tried to hurt more people?
The robot was at least easy to keep track of as it screamed in rage, violently shaking its head back and forth and leaving dizzying streaks of pink and yellow across Tenna's vision. Melted foam splattered against the rock.
Now was his chance. Tenna took a sharp turn, veering behind a pile of rubble. He made an attempt to steady his breath, and flicked his screen off.
As quick as the speed of light, Tenna was engulfed in the static darkness. An eerily stillness compared to the cantankerous thing hunting him.
It fell to its knees, breathing heavily as it slowly ran a hand across its spiky black hair in a strangely... familiar way. Steam still poured from the vents across its body, covering its figure in a somber fog.
“1'VE [[Waited, waited…]] SO LONG FOR THIS!” Its head jerked toward the sky, as if it was looking at a camera just out of view.
There was no camera. There was no audience.
“EVERY [[Deal]], EVERY [Wild Prize] ,, EVERY, [[Hot single]], EV3RY [[Hyperlink blocked]]!!!” Tenna kept deathly still as it glared across the rocks, the light of its eyes thankfully not reaching far enough.
“AND IT STILL WASN “T EN0UGH! IT'S ST1LL SO [Dark! I can't see! Please!]!” The metal armor across its bony body shifted as it stood on all fours. Then, it began to shakily walk, curved claws scraping against the rock.
Why did that last voice sound so familiar…? Almost like… him?
“[YoU] DON'T GET [Second chance]! YOU DON'T DESERVE [[Happily ever after]]!!” it snarled, deep voice reverberating endlessly across the suffocating darkness. The creature's head continued to twist back and forth on its long neck, moving unevenly like a rusty hinge.
“YOU. DON; Tt., GET TOo0_ o0 [[CLEAVE]]. YOUR! [[Silly strings!]]” it screamed into the void. No matter how much anger it spoke with, its gaunt, pale face wasn't capable of any emotion. Just a gaping, empty smile.
The strange machine crouched downward, jaws opening wider as it started to gag. Tenna's mouth curled in disgust as the thing choked out a massive pile of black slime.
Then, the sludge started to move. Tiny chunks broke off and writhed, forming more and more shapes, until hundreds of pinpricks of pink and yellow light blinked into existence.
And, within seconds, the swarm spread across the ground, quickly disappearing into the darkness aside from their tiny eyes, all the while their creator watched keenly.
Okay, never mind.
Tenna stood back up, shooting an arc of white electricity with a swipe of his hand towards the largest cluster he could spot. He allowed his screen to flick back on as the group disintegrated into puffs of code upon contact with his attack, and every pair of pink and yellow eyes was trained onto him at once.
“FOUND YOU.”
The hoard of tiny little… if he was in his right mind Tenna could come up with a perfectly marketable name for those gremlins, but for now he took a step back as several jumped multiple feet into the air.
His lips twitched open, forming a toothy, strained smile as Tenna readied his stance.
“What the HELL is your deal!?” Tenna demanded, sending a storm of smiling stars to meet the other darkner’s swarm with a twirl. He winced as a twinge of pain shot through his right shoulder, gritting his teeth tighter.
“And, what the hell do you know about that little mailman?” Tenna continued with his onslaught of stars, but he couldn’t exactly aim them, and several of the tiny rats launched themselves at Tenna’s screen.
“I’ll have you know I have nothing to do with him! We cut ties years ago,” Tenna added bitterly, grimacing in disgust as a little black and white tick landed on his shoulder. Its screech cut off as it was rocketed out of hearing range after Tenna flicked it off with a single finger.
Then, he felt more and more pin pricks of pain as the awful little things reached their target. It was like they knew exactly where to bite, digging into his vulnerable joints and silicone.
Tenna writhed, desperately trying to shake the tiny creatures off of him. Their strange chittering melted into a collective cacophony of garbage noise, save for very few distinct phrases.
“—K k [KILL]!T [[YOUR]]! T 1 TTT tttT [[KILL]]VvvV [TV] [TV] [TV] K K k K K> KKK!!!K KKK K [[SCREENS]]LLL! [CATH0D3]HAaA@AA44A _*! AAA4AAA A [[BREAK]] BrE! BRak TV [KILL] V7T [[BATTERING RAM]]! KLLtKLLv [YOUR] [CATHODE SCREENS] [[SL1ME]] TTTT T t I LLLl >>>K1LL [[NOW]]! Y 0UR T V; [SMASH]! ! !! [[KILLED] EHAHAH___D [DESTROY] TvvvTTTvTvvT [CATHODE SCREAMS] TV KILL [[TV]] YOUR TVk ILL [YOUR] TV KILL YOURTV KILL Y0UR T V KILL YOUR TV KILL YOUR TV KILL YOUR TV—”
And, above all the vicious noise was a repetitive chuckle, quickly devolving into maniac cackling. The strange machine jutted upwards, head rapidly flicking between positions as it continued to laugh.
“DON'T RECOGNIZE ME, [Ray tube]???” Hissing steam accompanied its words. Tenna felt his canines start to show as he ripped another oversized flea off his jacket.
It thrashed with as much anger as its tiny body could muster, gnashing its blocky teeth and swallowing the chunk of red fabric it had ripped off Tenna's lapel. With its far-less visceral detail and rosy blush, it looked like a significantly more marketable version of its creator.
Or, at least, it would if its body wasn't that of a little doll dressed in a business suit, completely lacking the armor and wings. Tenna flung the tiny creature into the rock, not pausing to watch it die.
“No, I don't!” Tenna reiterated. He shook his head, feeling the several stowaways trying to bite his antennas in half get vaulted off of him. How were there so many of these things? Where did they keep coming from?
“REALLY? [[Number 3 might shock you]]?? Y0U CERTAINLY [Remeber me?] WHEN YOU WERE [[Defiling graves]] MY NAME IN FRONT OF KRIS [& CO.]!!!’
Kris? “HEY! You touch a single hair on their head and I'll—I'll!”
Are you any better? The Doom Board… Oh god, the pipes…
…Hadn't Kris been wearing a pink and yellow set of circular glasses?
“AFTER EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU!?” The darkner continued, ignoring him. It continued to step closer on uneven feet. “ALL MY [Amazing deals]!! ALL MY [Great prices]!!!” Finally, finally, Tenna managed to kill the last little doll latched onto him, breathing heavily.
His body ached with wounds both new and old. When he'd woken up after his… fall, Tenna had been told to take it easy, let his injuries rest. Currently, he didn't have much choice in the matter.
“AFTER ALL MY [Genorosity]!!” it hissed as its cannon arm reformed, glowing with energy. It recoiled back at the force of the blue projectile that shot out.
Tenna slid behind the rock pile he had initially hidden behind, feeling the ground shake as something violently exploded on the other side.
“COME ON, [[General Household Appliances]]! SAY IT! SS SAY 1T!!!” Another plume of pale steam escaped the robot's gaping jaws, trailing endlessly into the black sky.
“I don't KNOW YOU!” Tenna yelled over the noise of the whining cannon as the machine charged another shot. He heaved, feeling every breath in his frayed wires as he watched the cannon.
He didn't have good defensive magic. Normally, if a show ever got too rowdy, Tenna would use his Zappers’ channel switching abilities to teleport out of the way, but now he was on his own. If just one of those shots hit him…
Antennae flat against his head, Tenna braced himself as the robot aimed… upwards instead of directly at him.
“I THINK YOU DO, [[Scrap pile]]! [You're] OLD [[Business Partner]]...” An electronic snarl came out of its throat as another blue object shot out of the cannon.
It traveled in an arc, slowing at the apex, revealing its round, almost egg-like shape. It almost looked like a…
For the briefest moment, Tenna looked at its white, long-nosed face, warped beyond anything recognizable. As its gaze locked with his own, its mouth didn't move—it had no skin to stretch—but that crooked smile somehow felt as if it grew wider.
“SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!” the misshapen machine crowed, mechanisms clicking in tandem with its raspy, guttural voice, filtered as though it was coming out of an unseen receiver.
Tenna shielded his screen with his arm as the pipis(?) smashed against the ground, blue shrapnel cutting into his arm, as well as a nagging pain in his thigh. He looked down, realizing that one of those little puppet-shaped leeches was currently gnawing his leg, and several more were sprinting towards him, all radiating from where the pipis had exploded.
Great. More of them! Just what I wanted!
Tenna ripped the gnat off his pants, and it took a scrap of black fabric with it. He chucked it hard at the others, and several fell over like a stack of bowling pins.
Teeth grit, Tenna pulled the canister out of his pocket once more and slammed the trigger. Pressurized foam burst out, eviscerating the closest little rats. Several screeched and skittered in the opposite direction, disappearing into the darkness.
“Spamton?” Tenna questioned now that he had a moment to process. He looked at the nightmarish robot before him, face scrunched in confusion, then anger.
“Just because I don't have eyes doesn't mean I'm BLIND!” Another pipis-like object exploded, and multiple of its spawn scampered off immediately as Tenna pointed the foam canister at them.
“I think I'd be able to recognize my old ‘business partner’ just FINE!” Tenna made air quotes with his free hand for extra emphasis. “You look NOTHING like that little mailman!”
In fact, Tenna himself looked more like an addison than this thing, and that was saying something.
“EHAHAHAHA!!!” it screamed again, the sound grating to his ears and entirely unlike the endearing laughter of the man it was somehow trying to impersonate.
“I'VE HAD A FEW [Major Performance Upgrades] SINCE YOU LAST [[#$&%ED]] ME OVER [At the good part]!!!” It made an attempt to spread its massive wings, far too big to be encapsulated by the light of Tenna's screen, and nearly fell over in the process, metal screeching against metal as it just barely corrected its balance.
“You? Fucked over? That little FREAK ripped me off!” Tenna snapped, clenching his fists. “I gave him EVERYTHING! I put his commercials on MY channels! I let him on MY show!”
The robot let out a garbled hiss, another white ball of fire erupting from its throat. Tenna hit it with his own arc of electricity, causing the attacks to burst in the air and illuminate its terrifying silhouette in pale light.
“All he had to do was tell me his little secret,” Tenna continued, his toothy smile bordering on manic. “His secret to being a ‘BIG SHOT.'”
“And that little bastard left me!” All for that stupid phone!”
His mind briefly flickered to the night he was abandoned, the mailman's face going even paler than it already was. clawing at his jaw, incoherent screams fading as he bolted down the hall, never to be seen again, leaving nothing but a hanging receiver.
He'd never seen Spamton look so scared. It felt wrong to see such an expression when mere moments before he had been signing the contract with a pleasant smile, joking with Tenna about their shared future. All until it started ringing.
“I was left to clean after the mess that HE made! All the while that spammy mailman is prob—definitely basking in his success, lounging at the top of the world, all while MY studio was left to be UNPLUGGED!” Tenna shouted.
He continued to summon arcs of electricity, hoping to get a single meaningful hit on this thing.
If something was wrong, he would've told me, wouldn't he? We were partners! He wouldn't have left me unless that was his plan all along! If he cared, he would've… he would've said something. Anything!
“I hope that man crashes and burns,” Tenna said in a low voice. “ He's the one who deserves to get scrapped.”
The robot's head slowly tilted, the movement uneven like a rusty hinge that hadn't been oiled in decades. Pink and yellow eyes shone a spotlight onto Tenna as the creature's wrist spasmed and reformed a segmented hand.
A mess of screeching metal and harsh electronic noise erupted out of its mouth in a sound that could only be described as a roar. And, sharp talons reaching out, it began to move.
Its metallic body creaked and groaned under its own weight as it hounded after Tenna, gnashing its smiling teeth. He turned tail, bolting away.
Pink and yellow bounced around him in disorienting strobe lights as the beast snarled in its pursuit, each massive footstep echoing against the hard ground and beating into his metaphorical ears.
Why was this thing so angry? On Spamton's behalf? Did he pay for this thing to torment me specifically!?
Tiny specks of light grew from the darkness as every single one of the cowardly dolls that had fled returned, a writhing mass of black and white locusts attacking from every side.
Breathing heavily, Tenna pulled the foam out again. This time, it seemed to make the small creatures only angrier. He pressed the trigger, and…
Nothing came out. How… How much did I use? That was a full can! I'm firing whoever—never mind.
Tenna nearly rolled his ankle as he took a sharp turn, his dress shoes and general attire entirely unequipped for mountain traversal. He could feel his coattails get dragged down as several unwanted stowaways latched on.
In between breaths, he clapped his hands, summoning several Rim Shots. At this point, Tenna would rather get hit by his own projectiles than deal with these things again.
The smiling stars bounced off the rock, tails trailing behind as they hunted down the dolls one by one. Several of their pointed projectiles dug into Tenna's synthetic skin, but he barely felt it at that point.
He did feel the loud sound of something heavy and metallic crashing against the purple rock.
He could barely see the massive creature in the darkness, all the way on the other side of the rocky plateau. He realized with bewilderment that it had somehow completely fallen over.
It screeched like a disgruntled bird, awkwardly rolling onto its stomach and presumably getting back up. Those circular eyes locked with Tenna's screen, and he remembered that his glow was fully visible.
Its footsteps were uneven, but suddenly much faster, unnatural growls pouring out of its throat. As its metal body reflected what little light was available, Tenna realized the thing had resorted to sprinting on all fours.
Tenna picked up as much speed as he could, his old, abused joints screaming in protest. The singular tiny puppet clamped onto his ankle squealed as it was flung off, joining its brethren in the afterlife.
His desolate surroundings turned into a blur as Tenna continued to run, each step hurting more and more.
He couldn't defeat this thing. His attacks were meant for light punishments when getting a quiz answer wrong, not a fight to the death. Without the magic of his employees, without the equipment of his studio…
Tenna needed to get help. It seemed this thing was dead-set on killing him only, so maybe if he made it to town…
Susie, no, everyone, gave him his second chance, and he wasn't going to lose another opportunity to that STUPID SALESMAN!
He realized, far too late, that the path he had taken ended with a sheer cliff.
A heavy body slammed into Tenna, knocking him to the ground. The force was enough to cause him to roll and slide, jagged rocks tearing into his back.
His head breached the cliff, revealing the dizzying upside-down visage of Castle Town, illuminated by starry blue lights, the ever-present dark fountain reaching into infinity.
Then, his head banged against the rock as unforgiving claws dug into his right leg, dragging him back up onto the cold stone. Maniac laughter bubbled out of the thing as it sunk its claws into Tenna's chest, pinning him to the ground once more.
“YOU RUINED EV3RYTHING! MY [award winning smile] MY [Sales-pitch] MY [[#$%#%#]] L1FE!!!” Tenna dug into the green wires lining its wrist joint, causing it to snarl and slam his head into the ground with its other hand.
“BUT [Wait! There's more!]!! [[Beg for forgiveness]] AND [[Die now]] TO RECEIVE [Buy One Get One Free]!!! [That's the BIG SHOT Guarantee]!!!” The glass of his screen started to creak.
Teeth clenched, joints locked, Tenna carefully reeled his arm back and punched it right in its triangular chest piece with all of the strength he had left.
The pink glass cracked upon impact, its light flickering out immediately. Garbled electronic noise assaulted him as the thing screamed, glasses flashing a variety of sickening colors like a television that lost its signal.
The panel receded, and something immediately shot out as though it had been attached to a coiled spring, a sharp object immediately digging deep into Tenna's shoulder.
“Get off of me!” He yelled between gasps of pain, blindly grasping at the taut chain of a heavily cracked heart, the same color of oxidized copper. There was something square lodged into it that Tenna couldn't identify.
The machine lurched, as though it was being pulled by the leash of its own heart. The hand pinning him down slipped, and Tenna kicked and thrashed out from under it.
At least, he did until his hand missed solid ground, and both his upper body and the broken heart slid over the edge again.
Dazed, he stared at the bottomless black abyss, dotted with jagged spires, until he was forcefully dragged back up again, talons slicing even deeper into his chest paneling.
There was nowhere to go. There was no escape.
There was no audience.
“GO ON! GO ON!! [[Cry for help]] INTO THE [[Receiver]]!! NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU!!!” a voice snarled from above, Tenna barely coherent enough to comprehend the words.
Breathing unevenly, Tenna dug his good hand into the exposed chest cavity, clawing and tearing with the intent to cause as much damage as possible.
“SCREAM INTO THE [Bottom] OF THE [[Recycling bin]]!! CALL FOR [Please! Anyone! Help me!]!!! [[Beg for forgiveness]]!!!!” Another heart, smaller than the first, forced its way out and sunk needle-like teeth into Tenna's hand.
“NO ONE'S [[Coming…]]! NO ONE REMEMBERS [You won’t believe these deals]!!!” Tenna bashed the heart into the ground, the cracks in its surface deepening as it retreated.
“NO ONE WILL [[Important Notice:]] WHEN. YOU. [[Died]]!!!” A third heart appeared, and Tenna grabbed it by the neck of the chain, yanking it hard. Its jagged teeth gnashed in a silent scream.
“YOU [[Blew it]]! YOU'RE ONLY [LastChance]!!” Saliva spat across his screen, mixing with his own tears, blurring his vision. His joints creaked under the weight of the force trapping him against the unforgiving ground.
“[You] DID [[All this]] TO YOURSELF!!” Tenna reached forward, digging past the rattling chains. Deep inside, he could make out a mess of glowing green wires and circuit boards interwoven with flesh.
“IT’5 @LL Y0U> rR F4ULTtt!” Tenna hooked his fingers around what he could, then yanked out the creature's innards as hard as he could.
The machine shrieked a broken and corrupted scream as its limbs jerked and seized unnaturally. The heart lodged in Tenna's shoulder finally pulled away as the thing cradled its exposed chest cavity, blood dripping between its fingers. He finally remembered what the objected wedged in its heart reminded him of: one of those computerized disks.
Finally, Tenna was able to drag himself to the side and out from under the now folded wings, shakily returning to a stand.
“Y0U LITTL3 [[5 Signs Your Partner is Cheating]]!1!!!!! I'M GONNA !!!” It cut itself off with a meaningless assortment of noise, eyes rapidly flashing in vomit-inducing colors as it kneeled against the ground.
Tenna clutched his left shoulder, feeling blood seep through his gloves. Staring down at the mangled, gory mess, he tried to move his fingers, hissing at the painful jolt it sent through his arm.
Okay. His wires were still intact. Somewhat. It was… fixable. Probably. Tenna moved to wipe the disgusting slobber left on his face, then stopped as a smear of black blood was spread across. He looked for a cleaner part of his sleeve and tried again.
The robot across from him let out another puff of steam, seemingly out of frustration. It tried to stand back up, but seemed to be struggling even more than it normally did. At least, that was until it got onto all fours again and started prowling towards him.
Antennae dangling weakly, Tenna stepped further away, clutching his arm. “What the HELL do you want from me? I didn't do anything to that man! He's the one who left me!”
“It’$ ALLL YOU RFaULT!” the machine repeated, moving its uncoordinated limbs slowly. It breathed heavily between words, wires dangling out of its chest. Its eyes were still glitching, head jerking in random directions in-between locking directly at Tenna's screen.
“Why won't you explain anything!?” Tenna could keep pace moving away from the thing, but he didn't know where to go. He had been too busy running in the first place to have any idea how to get back to town.
“[[ERR_LOW_CHARGE]]!!!” it spat out instead of answering, coughing up black phlegm. Tenna flinched, thinking it would turn into more of those tiny little demented dolls, but he realized it was just blood mixed with saliva.
“Ss5T00oP IT!” it snarled, clawing at its skull and shaking its head violently. Tenna wasn't even sure if the thing was talking to him at this point. He realized that the green wires threaded throughout its joints had lost their radioactive glow, and were now dim enough he could barely see them.
“WH Yy W0N;;;T YOU JU57T [Error_Handling_MSG]!! [[#&7#]]! JUST_[[WARNING]] ALL R3aADY!!!” The creature's voice sounded worse and worse the longer it spoke, bordering on intelligible.
It let out a massive wheeze, then paused, unfolding its wings slightly, and lunged.
It had taken so long to prepare its attack that Tenna had already moved out of the way by the time it jumped, and it hadn't even noticed until it crashed into the rock, groaning with pain as its wings went limp across the ground.
Was it dying? He had no idea what he had exactly damaged—all he knew was that it was probably something important. And, considering how the wires traveled through its entire body, having them yanked out of place probably wasn't helping.
He shouldn't care what happens to it, but… this was still the closest to an answer about what happened to his business partner he's ever gotten, as insane and violent as the creature was. And it still wouldn't tell him anything.
“ST4Yy STtt [[Power_Redirect_Successful]] LL!” The unidentifiable beast managed to get back up, but its wings were now dragging behind it, completely limp. It didn't seem to care as it continued stalking Tenna.
“L3T M3>> [[Killed]]y Y0OuU!!7!!!!” its throat lit up for a moment, charging up another energy shot, but it sputtered out into a pile of smoke as the robot coughed and fell to its knees.
The thing tried to stand back up, but it just… couldn't. Its legs twitched feebly before giving out completely. It still didn't care, dragging its body forward with its arms.
The awful sound of its metal plating scraping against the rugged stone rang out in a discordant song of agony, singing a haunting message that this will be you. Scrapped, broken, unwanted.
“!L^E t/T M _ ee#__<#—” it continued to make attempts at speech, garbled beyond recognition. A mix between broken, rotting speakers and shredded vocal chords, forming an incoherent, sputtering stream of nonsense that melted into the screeching of its body scraping against the ground.
It came from everywhere at once, and nowhere at all. Loud enough to be painful, so overwhelming it replaced everything else.
And then, it stopped.
The corrupted noise ceased, and the machine started to emit a quiet, constant static, as though it had finally lost signal.
Yet, it still kept dragging itself, inching forward ever so slowly. Its eyes flickered between white snow, the colors they normally were, and completely devoid of light.
Each pull of its arms made less and less progress, the sounds of its labored breathing growing louder.
And, through all of it, a nearly silent voice broke through, entirely unlike anything else that came out of the machine's ruined speakers, playing endless reruns of the exact same words.
“It's not my fault it's not my fault it's not my fault it's not my fault its—”
As soon as it appeared, that hauntingly familiar voice was cut off by a simple, eerie dial tone. And the machine's head thanked against the ground, its entire body going limp, all of its lights flickering out.
Tenna didn't move as he watched it, his own screen unable to maintain a steady glow.
He knew that voice. A voice he first learned of when the kids brought that laptop home. A voice soon narrating over the commercial breaks. A voice he trusted to sign the contract and become his cohost. A voice he never heard again.
Tenna moved a step closer, staring down at the crumpled form of the machine, beast, robot, creature, thing that had tried to kill him. It was so entirely unlike him with its massive winged form and deep metallic voice.
It didn't make any sense. What would Spamton be blaming Tenna for? He's the one who left! Tenna was the one who was abandoned! He didn't owe that little scammer anything.
And, what had Tenna supposedly “ruined?” Spamton was fine. That guy could sell water to a fish. Tenna was the one losing his relevancy. Tenna was the one who got unplugged. Tenna was the one who nearly lost everything.
But, why was this thing here? Spamton had left without a word. He clearly didn't care what happened to Tenna afterwards. And, he wasn't even here in Castle Town, either. It made no sense for this darkner to have any connection to him. Yet, here it was.
Tenna took another step closer, expecting the thing to pop up at any moment and bite his arm off, but nothing happened. It remained completely limp as Tenna approached.
This was the closest look Tenna had ever got at it. The smiling face was a stark white, highlighted by sharp cheekbones and a long, thin nose. Its black hair vaguely resembled a mullet, short in the front and long in the back, trailing down its neck and across the parts of its body not covered by metal plating. He realized the glowing eyes had been a circular pair of glasses, perched on the creature's face.
Everything about it was wrong. A disfigured caricature of the name it stole. It had no skin or muscle, just an exoskeleton of plastic and metal. No soft white fur, just pitch-black growth. Its face had been warped and elongated into a new, smiling shape, stretched far beyond the limits of anything natural.
It didn't make any sense. There was no conceivable way that something that looked like this… How could such a thing even happen? The idea of such a complete and horrifying metamorphosis into… this?
Tenna could feel himself gradually shrinking in height the longer he thought about it.
It felt like generation loss. An analog tape copied over and over, losing more and more detail each time, until it degraded into something unrecognizable. The only reason Tenna could guess what it was supposed to be was because he had seen the original. After one or two more transfers, it would be nothing but meaninglessly static, completely lost to time.
It didn't make any sense.
Tenna leaned down, gritting his teeth as he strained his injury, and scooped a loose feather off the ground. At one point, it must've been a vibrant magenta. Now, it was stained with grime, a tangled mess. Neglected.
How could something so beautiful be left to rot like this? How long had it been left like this? How long had it been decaying?
Could he have done something before it was too late? If he pushed a little harder? He never could've imagined things ending up as horribly as they had.
The discarded feather floated to the ground, stolen by the slight chill of the wind. Gone, just like that. Forgotten.
The darkner before him looked deeply uncomfortable splayed across the ground, a puddle of drool growing under its mouth. It was still breathing, metal sternum rattling with each struggling intake of air.
The rest of it was just as tarnished as its feathers. Obviously it was roughed up by the fighting, but what must've been years worth of grime was caked into its joints and seams. Deep scratches were embedded into its face like scars. Its hair was a matted mess, sticking out in every direction. And, in-between the wings were dozens of short severed wires, frayed and twisted, growing out of its back like artificial weeds.
Tenna pulled out a pointer stick, courtesy of the Weather Duo, from of his inventory and carefully prodded the creature's face with the plastic pointing hand. It didn't react.
Then, he carefully used the stick to nudge the glasses out of the way, revealing one of its eyes.
At first, Tenna thought it had empty black sockets, flinching the moment he saw it. But, as the light of his screen moved, he realized that they were just dark eyelids, sunken into the darkner's ghastly face. He couldn't tell if it even had eyelashes anymore.
Then, they opened, and a single pale eye focused on Tenna, the pupil thinning in response to the light. Unchanged by the years despite the inorganic prison that had grown around it.
After what might've been a computer start-up sound, The darkner growled, jerking their head away. The glasses slid back into place, but they couldn't take the memory of what Tenna saw behind them. The darkner's teeth snapped around the pointer stick, swallowing its splintered halves whole.
Tenna backed away in horror, staring at those empty pink and yellow lenses. It was nonsensical. Illogical. There had to be some other answer he forgot to consider, it couldn't be—
“...Spamton?” he called hesitantly, and the darkner's gaze immediately locked onto his screen. Tenna felt sick.
“WHAT [[Takes]] YOU SO LONG, [Dust Collection System]!?!?” The darkner, Spamton, tilted his head, slowly sitting up. The damaged glass panel had slid back over the exposed chest cavity, a segmented hand held protectively over it.
“What—what happened to you?” Tenna asked, his face twisting in despair as Spamton started to laugh in that unfamiliar, maniac way that was entirely unlike his little mailman.
“JUST A LITTLE [Side effects may include] ON MY [Health] FROM BECOMING A [[BIG SHOT]]! YOU WANT TO BE A [[BIG SHOT]] TOO DON'T YOU? [Don't you]??? DON'T YOU WANT TO LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR [Ol’ Pal] [[SP4MT0N G.,,SP@mToN]]!?!?!” He hobbled forward on his hands and knees, trying to get closer to Tenna.
“What? You're still not making any sense!” Tenna accused as he strayed further away from the unstable remains of his business partner. “Where did you go? Why didn't you come back? Where were you? Why did you leave me?”
“B3CAUSE YOU [[Ruined]] IT! EVERYTHING!” Spamton hissed through his sharpened teeth. “ALL MY SALES DOWN THE [Drain, drain]!!! MY [Deals] MY [[Home owner's insurance]] MY [You're not you when you're hungry] MY LIFE!!!” Spamton slammed his fist against the ground, glasses flickering dangerously.
“I didn't do anything! You disappeared without a word! How the HELL is any of this my fault!?” Tenna yelled, wishing he could gesture with his hands without aggravating his wound. He settled for tapping his foot angrily, his antennae twitching.
“YOUR [#$%#] [[Terms and Conditions may apply]]!!! AS SOON AS I [[Cosigned]] THAT [Worthless piece of]], THE RINGING THE RINGING THE RINGING THE RINGING THE RINGING—” Spamton continued to repeat himself, locked in place, glasses glitching again.
The image of that phone forced its way into Tenna's mind, its black glossy surface devoid of scratches or even fingerprints despite its frequent use. The receiver dangling off the hook, swaying like a pendulum, never losing its momentum, a hypnotic call. Picking it up with feverish desire, desperate to hear its call, and finding nothing but his own shaking breaths.
“[[Amazed]] AT THIS [Stunning Transformation]?” That metallic, broken voice cut straight through Tenna's thoughts, still commanding his attention no matter how different it sounded. “YOU TOO CAN BE MADE INTO A [Living puppet] FOR [The low low price] OF !”
“[Sign up today] AND BECOME A [[BIIIG SHOT]!!!! EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER [Dreamed] OF!!! ALL I NEED IS YOUR [I can't feel my]!” Spamton gestured like he used to on set, the movement entirely unnatural in his new body.
“How? I don't understand.” He couldn't put the pieces together, and especially not with the commercial breaks interrupting Spamton's already incoherent speech every other word.
“BUT I FORMED A NEW [MLM Scheme]!! WITHOUT [CRTs]! WITHOUT [Easels]! A HEAVENLY [[Workout-ready body]]!!!” Spamton continued, his voice reverent. He spread his wings slowly, the movement hesitant like he didn't know how to move the muscles.
As the feathers spread out, he managed to nearly fall over despite not even standing up in the first place, as if the sheer scale of them weighed him down. Tenna's screen wasn't nearly wide enough to illuminate the entire wingspan of mismatched feathers, rustling in the quiet wind.
“AND NOW IT’S [[All mine]]! ALL MY [[Strings]] ARE [Sliced and diced]!!! MY DAYS AS A [Long-nosed doll] ARE OVER!” Spamton cackled, his wings starting to droop like they weren't used to being open. They gradually folded behind his back as Spamton made another attempt to crawl forward, claws outstretched. Was he seriously still trying to…?
“What do you mean? How long have you… looked like this?” Tenna questioned, easily outpacing the robot that could barely move. Spamton was still stumbling around like a newborn animal, clearly not used to this new form of his.
Transformation. Living puppet. Long-nosed doll. The little miniatures that had attacked him, wearing suits exactly like what Spamton would've worn.
“SINCE YOU [[#&%&#$]] ME OVER! NOW THAT I HAVE MY [New body, new you] I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO—”
So, something happened in between the addison he knew and this… new version. But, what caused it in the first place? How was something like this even possible?
“How is any of this my fault? You didn't tell me anything! You still aren't!” Tenna exclaimed, his height rising back to its normal state, antennae bent back angrily. “You were fine without me! You didn't need me.” He choked on the last word.
Spamton was supposed to be the successful one. He was a shining star, full of future potential while Tenna was watching his own views gradually drop. He was self-sufficient, unnaturally perfect in everything he did. He represented a new age of technology, everything Tenna could never hope to achieve.
“YOU DON'T G3T IT, [Scrap bin]! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A [[Goddamn]] EMAIL IS!” Spamton finally managed to get to his feet again, hunching over so heavily his spine must've resembled a horseshoe. Weak puffs of steam escaped, as if he was, quite literally, running out of steam.
“Then tell me!” Tenna retorted. “I want to understand! You never tell me anything!” His screen burned brightly with frustration as he clenched his uninjured hand. It had been an entire decade of silence. An entire decade spent waiting for answers, and now he still wasn't getting any.
Spamton glared down at him, growling with each intake of breath. He flexed his long fingers, considering.
“[You] WERE CREATED TO BE [[Loved by all]],” Spamton started, and Tenna could've imagined a snarl on his face if it was capable of forming any expression other than a forced smile. “[[Cherished]]!!! [Pass my savings onto you] GENERATION TO [Genoraysin]!”
“YOU WANT TO KN0W WHAT [[Spam clogging your inbox?]] IS? IT'5 JUNK MAIL. [Unwanted Soliciting]!! [Quantity over Quality]! NO ONE [Craves that delicious flavor] IT!! NO ONE [Read and review] IT!!! IT GOES STRAIGHT TO THE [Items that have been in Spam for more than 30 days are automatically deleted]!” His wings flared again, seemingly on instinct.
“What...? That doesn't make any sense! You were perfect on set!” Spamton was the best at what he did—that was why Tenna wanted him on the show in the first place. For Spamton to teach him the new era of technology.
“AREN’T YOU LISTENING? I [Told] YOU!!!” Spamton stepped closer, his hands shaking. I WAS [Strung up]!!!”
Strung up. A living puppet. For who? For… what?
Spamton shook his head violently, as if physically expelling some unwanted thought. “YOU…! YOU! YOU DON'T DESERVE [Second chances]!” he screeched, trying to walk, and achieving more of a shuffle than anything.
“YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE AT THE [[Bottom]] of a GODDAMN [Garbage can]!”
“Is that what… happened to you?” those lenses flickered.
“STOP IT! JU5T [Keel over and die] ALR3ADY!!!” Spamton tried to lunge, but the movement was sluggish and predictable. Tenna easily moved out of range, and Spamton stumbled as he leaned forward, unable to balance.
He fell over with a dull thud, snarling with each heavy breath as he continued trying to push his body past its limits, desperate to kill Tenna for some unfathomable reason. What the hell had pushed him to this point?
“Why didn't you say anything? I would've helped you!” Tenna exclaimed. He said his sales had gone down the drain after… he left. After that damn phone rang for the last time.
Was that it? It had been there for their entire partnership, presumably long before it, but not… after. Spamton dropped everything whenever the phone rang, no matter how important anything else was supposed to be.
He said he was junk mail. Meant to be discarded. But, he had been so successful, so good at his job. Supernaturally so, in fact. That nervous wreck behind the curtains turned into a boisterous star as soon as the cameras were on.
Mike had said something bad would happen if Spamton signed the contract. But, Tenna had dismissed it, even as Mike insisted. What would he have to worry about as the most powerful darkner in his realm? There wasn't supposed to be anything he couldn't handle.
A living puppet. What do you mean by that?
“I COULDN'T,” Spamton said vaguely. “YOU COULDN'T [Preventative measures] ANYWAYS!” He got up from his fall, entering a kneeling position.
“Anything's better than this!” Tenna said, gesturing vaguely at the entirety of Spamton. In his anger, he stepped closer.
“YOU CAN'T EVEN [[Facial Recognition]] ME!” Spamton snapped, straightening his posture to meet Tenna at eye level. “ALL YOU WANTED ME FOR WAS MY [Fame & Riches]! TO USE ME! JUST LIKE [Evry] OTHER [#&%#]!!”
“Is that seriously what you think? Ha, haha! Wow.” Tenna's teeth started to show, displaying an unpleasant grin the cameras would never get to film .
“I kept her, you know. The pipis,” Tenna added, looking away for dramatic effect.
“W wWHAT? YOU—?” The metal covering Spamton's body rustled as he moved, genuinely taken aback.
“She's safe, far away from you. Look, fine! I'll admit it. I thought we were a team. That what we had was special. I missed it,” Tenna said. The golden days, the lost times he hadn't spent nearly enough time appreciating when he could. So excited for the future he couldn't see the conman standing next to him.
I loved you.
Spamton shuffled closer, and, despite all of Tenna's bravado he took a step back, holding his injured shoulder protectively. He was so tired. Wasn't this what he wanted? To find Spamton? Confront him? Learn the truth? Was it worth it, in the end?
“NO!” Spamton jolted, slamming his palms against the hard ground, static snow completely enveloping the light of his lenses, dancing across Tenna's screen. “YOU RUINED IT!!!”
His fingers curled against the stone, producing an awful scraping sound. “YOU DID THIS! YOU RUINED ME! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!”
His wings trembled. “IT'S N0T M Y F0ULtT T 1T;$ N^0T M/ .; ^, _ ;;i d1Dn7 ru1n it 1 D_idn't c4rE e I>D/dN't r>In iT a41ll f0 r 57u/ P1d #$% <_ &i#%^g L0v3 I DIDn^ t 1t W@5n't m#e i7 w4sN7 #e iT wa$n't me—#_—”
Tenna could hardly understand a word of Spamton's garbled speech. His wings draped across the ground as he curled in on himself, shaking.
This wasn't what Spamton was supposed to look like. Not his changed appearance, but the way he was acting. Utterly defeated, fueled with enough spite and hatred to attempt to kill Tenna. Afraid of something Tenna couldn't hope to fully understand.
Slowly, he reached his right hand out, touching the surface of Spamton's cheek. Despite its artificial form, it was warm, full of life from the blood that flowed underneath. Tenna stroked his thumb across the sharp edges. Spamton froze in response, still trembling in place.
It was so different compared to the soft, fuzzy skin he was used to. But, it was there. It was real. It was Spamton.
Tenna carefully tilted Spamton's head up until those lenses were parallel with his screen, feeling black fur tickle his fingers through the holes in his gloves. White light reflected across the scratched, smudged surface of his glasses, revealing the faint outline of exhausted eyes.
Then, they returned to that glassy opaque glow as Spamton pulled his head away. For what felt like the first time, he took in Tenna's form, pausing at the sight of his still-bleeding shoulder. Spamton jolted back, folding his wings tightly. His knee moved as he began an attempt to stand up but decided against it.
“Spamt—”
“[Yikes]! EHAHA EAHA HHAHOW'D THAT GET THERE??!?!!??????” Spamton interrupted, fidgeting with his fingers in that way he always did, though it looked far less graceful with his new spindly fingers. His plastic face couldn't form any emotion, but Tenna recognized that sheepish tone even through his bitcrushed voice.
“Wh—you were trying to murder me!” Spamton conveniently avoided his gaze.
“OKAY OKAY! I MIGHT’VE TRIED TO [Eject from driver's seat]!! EHAHA… HA… I DID! [[But, wait! There's more]]!!” Spamton clasped his hands together in an entirely failed attempt to look charitable. “FOR THE [Discount price] OF [Forgiveness] I CAN [[Full party heal]]!!!”
“You have healing magic?” Tenna questioned, metaphorically squinting at Spamton. He definitely didn't have it back when they were working together.
“YEAH? WHAT KIND OF [Scam artist] DO YA TAKE ME FOR!??? I'VE LEARNED A THING OR [[ERR_INTEGER_OVERFLOW]] FROM [[Purgatory]] ON [The city streets]!”
“The streets?” Is that where you've been? Is that why you didn't call? ...Is that what would've happened to me?
“YOU WANT IT OR NOT? [[Press F1 for help]]!” Spamton insisted, eager to move on.
“Yes,” Tenna replied, carefully sitting down on the rock without jostling his shoulder too much. He could tell from the way Spamton clenched his hands that he didn't want to talk about it. And, right now… there were more urgent matters.
In hindsight, he could see more and more of the Spamton he knew in this form, no matter how different he looked and sounded. His old mannerisms didn't define his new self, but there were still lingering remnants despite everything. Including Spamton's reluctance to tell Tenna anything.
“SAY IT ALREADY!”
“Say what?” Tenna asked, exasperated.
“[[Press F1 for help]]!!” Spamton repeated, gritting his teeth in irritation.
“‘Press F1…? For help?” Tenna copied hesitantly. Was this some gimmick he wasn't aware of? What kind of healing magic required a—
He watched with immediate concern as Spamton made a choking noise, body tensing as something crawled out of his throat and through his teeth. Tenna's face dropped in immediate dread as he saw a white nose framed by a tiny pair of pink and yellow glasses.
Then, to his horror, it opened a pair of feathery white wings, staring directly into his soul with a wide grin. Tenna cowered, letting out a high-pitched squeak as it shot towards him.
“Hey! No! Get it off! Get it off! GET IT OFF!” Tenna screamed, desperately swatting at the little cockroach headed directly at his injured shoulder. The persistent little bugger kept coming back—
“SIT STILL!!!” Spamton roared, and Tenna gasped as he was shoved to the ground, a heavy weight pinning him down. Spamton's claws held him in place, tight enough to restrain but not enough to break skin. He glared directly into Tenna's screen, two twin white rectangles reflected in the glass as he loomed over him, their noses mere inches apart, massive wings mantled around them.
Tenna couldn't look away from him as something probed at his shoulder, and the warm tingling sensation of healing magic began to spread all the way through, the blurry image of white feathers present in the corner of his vision.
Oh.
The magic seeped all the way through his shoulder and into the rest of his body, patching up the dozens of little scratches and dents left by sharp stone and little puppet teeth. He even felt it seal up a crack in the corner of his screen he hadn't even noticed in the panic.
Frozen in place, Spamton's glowing lenses drilled holes into Tenna's screen, and Tenna's face felt warmer than usual long after the healing magic faded.
Spamton shook his head, muttering something unintelligible as he quickly let go, shuffling an additional distance away. The scruff of fur around his neck puffed up, and he desperately tried to pat it down as another little puppet Tenna must've missed flew towards his damaged chest panel.
Slightly dazed, Tenna took a moment to sit back up. He flexed his fingers and stretched his arm, stunned to find that the aches that had plagued him since he first woke up in Castle Town were just gone. His clothes were still ruined, but that was nothing a trip back to his room couldn't fit.
He glanced off to the side, where the little doll was standing on the rock. It looked away, hesitantly wringing its tiny hands. Tenna realized it had a white halo floating above its head.
He held his hands out like he was coaxing a small animal, and watched with wonder as the Spamton-shaped angel eventually flapped its wings and landed in his palm. A goofy smile spread across Tenna's face as he rubbed its head with his thumb, watching it curl up like a cat.
“THE [[@&#$]] ARE YOU DOING, [Tissue Box]!??” Spamton asked, glaring at him. The angel that had been healing his chest panel was keeping a wide berth from its creator.
“They're so cute! Do they have names?” Tenna replied, holding the angel nestled in his palm closer to his screen. He was sure they could come up with a marketable moniker. Think about how much money plushies of these things could make!
“THEY ArEN'T ALIVE!” Spamton said, violently crushing the angel to death by curling his fingers into a fist around it. A puff of pixels spread out, disappearing into nothing just like its wingless brethren. “IT'S JUST [[Magic tricks]]!” The little angel in Tenna's hand cowered away, tiny white wings trembling.
Spamton practically growled at it, snapping his fingers. It took him several attempts, as though he didn't quite know how to move his elongated digits. Tenna shrunk a few inches as the angel in his hands immediately burst into pixels, his antennae drooping.
“REMEMBER YOU’RE PART OF THE [HealDeal]!” Spamton said, pointing an accusatory finger at Tenna. Then, he pressed a hand against the ground, preparing to stand back up.
Oh! “HealDeal?” That's a great name for ‘em! Rolls right off the tongue!
Spamton slowly rose, his legs bending at odd angles as he attempted to stand. He tried to straighten his spine, nearly fell over in the process, and resorted to hunching over, the wings upon his back seeming unbearably heavy.
He wheezed with the effort, arms dangling limply like he didn't know what exactly to do with them. Then, he took his first careful step, turning around, and started to walk away from Tenna.
“Where are you going?” Tenna questioned, quickly standing back up himself. Spamton paused, twisted his new, weirdly long neck to look at him.
“WHERE DO YOU THINK I'M GOING???” Spamton replied. “I'M [[getting out to dodge]] AFTER THAT [[Jackass Stunt]]!!” Spamton looked away, taking another wobbly step.
“NO!” Tenna shouted, shooting up to his full size in an instant. “You are NOT leaving,” Tenna insisted, stomping after Spamton. “I just got you back!”
“YOU DON'T KNOW ME!” Spamton retorted, whipping around. He stretched his wings, making his silhouette look even larger. “IT'S BEEN YEARS! HAVE YOU SEEN ME???” he vaguely gestured at the entirety of his body, fur, metal, segments, and all.
“WHATEVER [Alpha version] OF ME YOU WANT DOESN'T [Exist] AND IT [[Never Ever]] WILL AGAIN!” Spamton clenched his fists, a full burst of steam escaping his jaws as he loomed over Tenna.
Tenna knew that. He knew that the moment Spamton's name first came out of the darkner in front of him. He knew that when it took an entire labyrinthine maze worth of thought to even determine that this was Spamton in the first place.
But, it was still Spamton. He still had his memories. He was still here, twisted into an unrecognizable form, but present. And that mattered so much more than anything else.
This wasn't the answer he wanted. This wasn't the answer Tenna imagined he would get acting out this very confrontation during sleepless nights, replaying scenarios in his head over and over. But, it was the only answer he was going to get.
“Fine! Then let me get to know the new you,” Tenna insisted, folding his arms. “Just—c'mon, Spamton! Give me a chance here!”
A second chance. Did Spamton ever get one?
“Look, I don't care that you're different!” Tenna continued, gesturing animatedly. The light of his bouncing screen reflected off Spamton, the shadows of his form dancing across. “Do you know how long I've spent wondering where the hell you went? Just—god damn it, Spamton! You're seriously trying to leave me again!?” Tenna stomped his foot, frustrated.
“You are not going anywhere,” Tenna said, jabbing his finger lightly into Spamton's chest in an attempt to look assertive.
Spamton looked down, slowly grabbing Tenna's wrist and dragging it away with poorly controlled strength. He let go, looking back up, silent aside from humming internal mechanisms.
“…FINE,” Spamton said finally, letting out a deep, needlessly dramatic sigh. He jabbed Tenna with his own finger, using his knuckle to avoid impaling him with its sharp claw. “DON'T COME [Crying wolf] TO ME WHEN YOU [[Block this user?]] ME AGAIN!”
Tenna gripped Spamton's hand, repositioning it until he held it in a handshake. He felt the segmented, bony surface of Spamton's new “skin,” tightening his grip.
“Do we have a deal?”
Spamton huffed, then took a step back just so he could shake Tenna's hand, entire arm, and body as hard as possible.
“DEAL.” Spamton finally let go of him, miming fixing his lapels despite the fact that he wasn't even wearing clothes. Wait, I never thought about that. Can he even fit a suit over those sharp metal edges? He looks like a walking OSHA violation! …Not that I need to worry about those anymore.
“SO WHAT'S NEXT ON THE [TV Time Schedule], [[Scrap Y4rd]]!??” Spamton asked dryly.
“Well! Uh… Say, any chance you know how to get back to town?” Tenna asked with a nervous smile, tightening the remains of his yellow tie.
“SURE I DO! [Name your price], [[Cathode]]!!!” Spamton replied, immediately sinking into that salesman voice Tenna remembered. And loathed.
“Wh—seriously? You tried to murder me! The least you can do is give me some directions!” Tenna exclaimed in disbelief.
“HEY! YOU ALREADY AGREED TO THE [Terms and conditions] OF [[Forgiveness]]!!! YOU [Ask and you shall receive] FOR THE SPAMTON [[Full package]]!!”
“Why should I even believe you know the way back?” Tenna questioned, pinching the space above his nose in annoyance.
“I KNOW THESE [Cliffhanger] LIKE THE BACK OF MY !” Spamton claimed. “THOSE [littol slimes]] DON'T REALLY LIKE [The smooth taste of] [[Screams of terror]] SO I GO HERE TO [[Practice my craft]] WITHOUT GETTING [[Gawked at]]! IT'S A BETTER [Gig] THaN THE [Dumpster]!”
“The dumpst—? Look, I'm sure Ralsei wouldn't mind providing you a room in the castle! It's big enough for even me—I'm sure you'd fit, even with those wings,“ Tenna suggested, already imagining the possibilities. Spamton didn't reciprocate his enthusiasm.
“EHAHAHA!!!! [10 Stories That Will Make You Burst Out Laughing], I WAS ALREADY [[You've been formally invited]]!!!” Spamton said, trying to tug at the collar of a dress shirt that didn't exist. He resorted to smoothing down his messy hair, instead. “THERE MIGHT'VE B33N [D$9,999,999,999 Property Damage Estimate] BUT YOU CAN'T [[Prove anything]]!!!”
Admittedly, Tenna had caused his own fair share of damage around the studio when he got angry and swelled to full size, but he knew his limits. And, he could always shrink back down. Spamton was stuck at easily four (five?) times the height he used to be, in a body with far more strength, completely new limbs, and altered proportions. He was still struggling to even walk.
“LOOK, [Forget about it]! WE CAN WORK OUT [[Select payment type]] LATER!” Spamton said, fingers clacking together as he tried to keep his hands busy.
“I could help you,” Tenna offered. “ I certainly didn't come out of the box knowing how to control my size!”
“I DON'T NEED YOUR [Online tutorials]!!” Spamton screeched. “I'M JUST [A little tipsy] FROM [[Low battery]], OKAY!?!? IT'LL [[Double it and give it to the next person]]—IT'LL [pass]!” His fur puffed up in frustration, and Tenna had nearly forgotten how ridiculous it looked when he did that.
Tenna could actually believe it, considering how Spamton's body had completely shut down before rebooting earlier. Still, he hadn't been the definition of grace before then, either.
“Then, how about we just rest for a moment?” Tenna suggested, placing his hand on Spamton's shoulder plate. Spamton looked away with a huff, but didn't shove him away. “Just stay here a little longer. With me.”
“DON'T HAVE ANYWH3RE ELSE TO BE,” Spamton sighed, slouching even further and looking like he was prepared to fall asleep standing up.
Tenna walked towards the edge of the plateau they were on, reassured by the sound of heavy, uneven footsteps behind him. He approached the cliff face, sitting down close to the edge.
Spamton slowly bent his legs, lowering himself to the ground. Tenna held out a hand as Spamton’s foot slipped, but he didn't end up needing it. He awkwardly huddled next to the cliff, head between his lanky knees, avoiding eye contact with Tenna.
He took off his ruined gloves and suit jacket, neatly folding them beside himself despite the fact that they would undeniably be going in the trash the moment Tenna got back to town. The blood from his wounds and especially his shoulder hadn't disappeared with the healing magic, staining the red fabric an ugly black. His white dress shirt wasn't in much better condition, but it was the thought that counted.
If anything, it was a reminder of everything that had transpired tonight. That Spamton had wholeheartedly set out with the intent to kill Tenna. That something had driven him to that state in the first place.
At least Spamton completely healing him meant that it was a net positive? Yeah, sure, he'll go with that.
Tenna looked down at the twinkling town before them, more and more lights blinking on as evidence of just how much time had passed. His screen resolution wasn't high enough to see any darkners down there, but he could still picture the active streets, full of a diverse assortment of folks. And, in the center of it all, the dark fountain pulsing towards the heavens.
Spamton leaned forward to look, then quickly backed away, making no second attempt.
“Are you still afraid of heights?” Tenna questioned.
“NO!” Spamton made no attempt to look back over the cliff edge.
“You sprouted a pair of wings and you're seriously still afraid of falling?” he asked incredulously.
“I HAVE [Priorities], OKAY? BESIDES, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN—IF I COULD—IF I IF I IF I—” His glasses started to flicker with different colors.
“Sure you can! What would all these feathers be for if you couldn't fly?” Tenna interrupted. The Dreemurrs had never been super interested in nature documentaries, but he was pretty sure Spamton's feathers looked like the ones meant for flight from his limited knowledge. Probably.
Spamton tilted his head to look at the wing furthest from Tenna, fanned the feathers out. He inspected the assortment of purples and greens, many of the quills knocked out of place and misaligned. Despite the state it was in, Tenna could help but think it still looked beautiful. Spamton folded it back up, curling in on himself.
“IF I CAN’T I’M GOING TO [Ctrl+Alt+Delete] THAT [[Best Free Art Programs]],” Spamton muttered under his breath. He sighed, finally looking back at the town spread out far below them.
Tenna shuffled a little closer to him. Ever since Spamton disappeared, all he'd wanted was to go back to the golden days. When everything felt okay. When they had a future to look forward to despite the crumbling family above him.
But, it was always a worthless pursuit. Despite his efforts to hold onto the past, Tenna had still changed through the years—his employees had become afraid of him. Spamton never came back, not the version he knew.
They'd both changed so much in the decade since that fatal phone call. Yet, here they were, finally reunited despite all odds.
Tenna leaned over, touching Spamton's arm, reassuring himself that this was real. Spamton turned to look at him, but didn't pull away.
His fingers ran across cold metal and sunk into warm fur as he wrapped his arm around Spamton, fully embracing him. It was awkward crawling over his legs, but, at the moment, Tenna couldn't care less.
He rested his head in the crook of Spamton's neck, black fur fluttering with each one of his hitched breaths, antennae drooping over the front of his screen.
He felt himself shrink as something threatened to drip down his screen, holding Spamton tighter. “Why didn't you say anything? I… I would've helped you,” he repeated for the second time, and this time his question was actually answered.
“...THERE W4S NOTHING Y0U [Could've] DONE,” Spamton said after an agonizing moment of silence, sounding resigned.
“HA… I WAS ALREADY [[A Dead Man]] BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP,” he admitted, voice heavy with an entire lifetime of resentment and spite.
Spamton's breath trailed across Tenna's vents as he sighed deeply, relaxing from his tense position. Tenna gently carded his fingers through that unruly, overgrown mane of black hair, and, eventually, a pair of robotic arms carefully wrapped around him.
A simple closed-mouth smile spread across Tenna's screen as Spamton curled his long neck around his head, his long nose brushing against Tenna's shoulder.
Gradually, multicolored wings rose, delicately curling around the two darkners as they basked in each other's warmth, cocooning them in the comforting light of a white screen and mismatched lenses.
There was a lot Tenna had no control over. His declining studio, the drifting families of his lightners, his fate at the hands of the Knight. But, this? This was his decision to make.
There was no audience. Just the two of them, sheltered from the world, held in each other's arms. Fundamentally different, but still present. Neither of them would ever be able to go back. So, they'd just have to move forward.
Because, despite everything, it's still you.