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"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?"
If the Drifter could have kicked in the door to the backroom, they would have.
Ardent was in a fantastic mood. It had been a long, hard day that was evident in the amount of blood and techrot guts she was covered in. Despite this, he was bursting with energy. They felt light, positively dancing as they brought Gauss Prime smoothly through the portal.
"I must confess, I still believe," Ardent sang. It was loud, off-pitch, and unabashedly terrible, and they felt like one hundred höllars. “I still believe—can you believe there's actual music out there that's not On-Lyne?”
Gauss didn't reply and she didn't expect him to. Gauss was always—well, quiet wasn't the right word. He was plenty loud, in his own ways. Nonverbal. That was it. Not a pipe or peep out of him, not even when Ardent skipped past the arsenal and instead took the stairs to the loft two at a time.
Home was a gold embellished, bedazzled, glittering nightmare. Gold, gold, gold. Entrati loved gold. Someday, she'd get off her ass and trash all of Entrati's leftovers and replace it with something easier to look at. Maybe they'd even get an actual bedframe.
“When I'm not with you, I lose my mind,” Ardent crooned unsteadily.
They backed Gauss up to one of the horrific burgundy couches, then tipped him into free fall before transferencing out. Gauss hit the cushions with an audible wheeze of deflating pillows and the creak of wood as the couch struggled with the weight of an entire warframe.
Ardent grimaced as various fluids began to drip from Gauss's armor and seep into the fabric beneath him. His head was tilted in such a fashion that he appeared to be staring up at them incredulously.
”Hm! Maybe I should have done this downstairs.” Ardent said, as Gauss's leg began to rapidly bounce. “Sit tight, Daddy will get you all cleaned up.”
Ardent bounced off to fetch the cleaning supplies from the Helminth room. They ignored its crooning for more sacrifices—it just got fed yesterday, relax—before returning to her expectant warframe.
They started to roll up their sleeves, but he was almost as sweat soaked and scummy as Gauss. She pulled the whole top off and flung it into the laundry corner.
Goosebumps broke out across their skin. They felt watched. He was being watched. Gauss had no conventional optics, but she knew when he was looking. Ardent paused, fingering the buttons of their trousers. She pushed them down. Two could play that game.
Ardent admired Gauss shamelessly, even covered in gore. It was one of the only things they shared in common with the Operator—they both had favorites among their frames. While the kid took a shine to Valkyr, Ardent had adored Gauss from the moment they took control of him. There was something about the raw energy just begging to be released inside of him, the need to prove himself.
They liked how he never stood still. They liked that he wore her colors so beautifully, resplendent in green and blue.
They liked how he tasted on her tongue.
Clothes were left forgotten on the floor in favor of closing the distance between them. A shiver worked its way up her spine as she slid inelegantly into Gauss's lap, but not from a chill—Gauss ran hot. With skin to "skin" contact, they could feel the infestation that wove itself through Gauss's body, its thrumming song a welcome melody.
“Don't throw me off again.” Ardent said, firmly, before picking up one of the disinfectant towels.
Gauss had to be the most difficult warframe to service. From mod-work to day to day maintenance, the frame never once stopped fidgeting. Even with Ardent's not inconsiderate weight pinning him down it was a challenge to maintain their balance. Also, he made the most pathetic clicking noises, like he was dying and it was all Ardent's fault.
Ardent didn't fall for it—anymore.
“Hold still.” Ardent muttered. “You're worse then Amir.”
Gauss's antennae flattened like a disgruntled kavat, animating his otherwise expressionless face. It made Ardent huff an ugly snort of laughter through her nose.
“Yeah, I know you can't help it.”
Muddy brown and red wiped away to reveal glimmering teal shot through with vivid yellow. Ardent would strap Gauss to a table later and take a fine minuscule brush to his joints, emission vents, and optics to ensure no gunk had a chance to build up and slow him down. They harbored an irrational worry that the techrot strain might try to wreak havoc with the future's infestation that kept Gauss running. It hadn't caused any untoward mutations… so far.
He added giving Gauss a hose down with an antibacterial spray to the list, just to be safe.
“Maybe I should open you up, too…” Ardent said, thinking aloud as they toyed with the seam of Gauss's chassis. “Been awhile since we optimized your build.”
Ardent upgraded all the warframes. The kid didn't like how… visceral it was. Ardent did. It was fascinating to see how indomitable sword-steel could be peeled back. How it could be pulled wide and gaping to reveal the writhing wet mass of unnatural, infested organs that still remained, glittering under the light like jewels.
He would get his hands into the tangled, wiggling mass, arm wet to the elbow in fluids, feeling around blindly for modification ports. For frames like Gauss, they had to be quick. He churned out an internal temperature hotter then any other frame. The steam that came off his organs was hot enough to scald their cheeks as they worked over him.
Ardent groaned. Their hand had stilled mid wipe, towel scrunched between her fingers. Distracted, he hadn't noticed that her hips had begun to shift back and forth against the unyielding armored thigh.
A glance up at Gauss revealed the same unblinking face. No acknowledgement at all. Ardent didn't stop. It had been so long since they'd indulged like this—since before the Hex. They missed it.
“Remember the last time we did this?” Ardent asked, “I had your chassis in pieces and I could touch your Orokin reactor with my bare hands.”
She was hard now, working a wet spot into their pants. He fumbled for the waistbands, pulling it just low enough to get her cock free.
“Couldn't use my hands for weeks after that,” Ardent laughed, breathlessly. “The kid got so mad at me. Then you were so mad at me, but I just wished the scars had stuck around afterwards.”
Ardent scooched further up Gauss's thigh, trying to find the perfect spot to rut against the infested chitin. Gauss was still bouncing his leg, inadvertently giving her a rhythm to thrust to.
"Fuck yes." Ardent muttered.
They brought their mouth to the top of Gauss's chassis, breath fogging up the sleek finish. He mouthed along until his tongue dipped into the indentation of an emission port. The yellowish light within burned hot against their tongue and tasted acidic. Vitriolic. Her moan was muffled as they lapped at it like a starving animal. Maybe later they could peel back all Gauss's layers and taste it from its source.
Something suddenly encircled their thighs, making them jump before she recognized the calloused sword-steel. Hands that could have clamped down with only the barest amount of pressure and shattered both their femurs only traveled gently up, towards the apex of their groin—and gripped the band of their pants and yanked.
“Gauss!” Ardent admonished, grinning wildly as the warframe shredded their underwear like they were made of paper. “I happened to like that pair.”
The warframe angled his head down, then tilted from one direction to the next, like an inquisitive krubie. Ardent pursed their lips, dick twitching under the scrutiny.
Gauss reached out, as if to touch, but diverted at the last second to grab at both their thighs again, using his grip to haul her right up against his codpiece—which was hot to the touch.
“O-oh,” Ardent said. “Did I get you wound up too? Does Squiggles want to play? Does that mean you're done moping?”
The warframe stared back impassively, but Ardent had spent the better part of a decade with this Gauss and she knew that he was pouting.
“You're such a baby,” Ardent informed him, while rubbing her cock against his pelvis. “You know why I went to Quincy. And you know what? He wasn't anything like you! So it was good data on variables to expect in the future.”
Gauss gave a jittery little hip buck with almost enough force to send Ardent straight to the floor.
"Alright, alright, noted. Still touchy about that, then." Ardent snorted. He reached out and patted the warframe's cheek and cooed, “Don't worry, you're still my favorite. My favoritest. My Gaussy Wuassy, always making sure I don't get splattered into paste out there.”
Gauss made a sound and leaned into their hand. It wasn't a purr or even a sigh. There weren't any organs left to make such sounds, Ardent had checked. This was inorganic, like the earsplitting whistle he emitted when he took off during mach rush.
It was dangerous, and ironically paradoxical, to form an emotional bond with a warframe.
Sure, you could care for them. Ardent cared for all of them. To an extent. They were machines, and machines needed to be cared for. They were also people, and people wanted to be loved. Therein lay the issue.
During transference, the concept of self was utterly obliterated. They were of one body. One mind. The line between warframe and tenno was nonexistent, blurred centuries ago.
But, if during transference Ardent took on the mannerisms and behavior of Gauss, what stopped the reverse from occurring, and, how could they distinguish his wants, thoughts, feelings from their own? How long did they persist after the connection had been severed—was it even possible to separate completely?
It was an insidious feedback loop, doomed to play into whatever they wanted, whatever feelings they harbored. So, when Gauss trilled against his palm and bucked needily into their body, she buried any hint of guilt deep, deep down.
It was easier not to think about it.
“C'mon, baby boy.” Ardent coaxed, rubbing the nearly invisible seam between Gauss's legs. “Are you gonna let me see you?”
They dug their thumbnail in and Gauss shook. The sword-steel parted.
Ardent's thumb sunk in to the knuckle, briefly feeling the interior cavity. It was hot and wet and felt not unlike an opening in the human body. Then something pushed against her thumb, wiggling.
Another thing Ardent adored about Gauss was his cock.
It delicately unfurled from the slit in the sword-steel, sleek and long and vividly blue. It sported subtle ridges all along the base that grew more pronounced closer to the dramatically tapered tip. It moved independently, almost like the techrot tendrils he sometimes saw deep within the Höllvanian subway systems.
“There you are.”
The first time Gauss had shown her this, he'd been quite shy about it. As if it has been something to be ashamed of.
At least it had been fun working that negative association out of his system.
The tentacle-esque appendage curled wetly around their fingers, looping all the way up to his wrist. Ardent rubbed it gently between thumb and forefinger, mindful of just how sensitive it was, and let Gauss's staticky gurgles guide their hand.
“Does that feel good?” Ardent crooned, as if she didn't know. Gauss produced so much slick when he was aroused. One day, he would strap Gauss to a table and take proper samples. “D'you want my mouth, baby?”
Gauss jerked up into her, which they took as an enthusiastic affirmation, but the hands gripping their thighs held tight and didn't let them slide to the floor as he intended.
Gauss's cock unfurled from their hand, and meandered a wet path across their knee, slicking down the wispy hairs. It traveled up her inner thigh with a single minded focus, but Ardent still jumped in surprise when it wrapped around her balls and entwined with her own cock.
It was a familiar position. It didn't stroke, but it moved constantly. Touching, pressing, searching, feeling with all the curiosity of a Gauss. The delicate tip looped around the metal of their piercing and tugged, and Ardent fucked into it—at first tentatively, but then gained speed.
“That's it.” Ardent said with a hum. “See, I'm not the only one taking notes from Quincy.”
It was perhaps unwise to further rile up a Gauss, but it wasn't like they didn't notice how Gauss had perfectly imitated her night with Quincy, right down the way he was holding her. He was hot to the touch, and at their words, his emission vents flared to release a high pitched bout of steam. His cock recoiled, flicking in the air.
Ardent leaned in to pepper open-mouthed kisses to his face. “Aw, baby, don't get jealous.”
She had barely finished saying the word jealous before he was abruptly yanked forward.
Their soft, human body was squished against uncompromising sword-steel, every little node and divot dug into his skin. Ardent wiggled experimentally, but there was no give to Gauss's hold on them.
“You sourpuss.” Ardent bemoaned. There wasn't even any room to rut against the frame. “What are you doing?”
Their squirming went abruptly still. Something hot and wet brushed against her balls, but it didn't grasp her cock again. It was moving towards-
“Gauss?”
An electric whine, like metal on metal. The warframe rubbed insistently against their rim, spreading slick fluid that dripped down their cheeks. The tip prodded at the ring of muscle, testing.
"O-oh-" Ardent mumbled. "Okay. Easy, bud-"
Ardent cut himself off with a groan as the tip pressed inside. It was only just the tip, which was thin and tapered to maybe the width of a pinkie finger. It didn't move like a finger. It undulated as if impatient to push deeper. The sensation was strange and wet, and their hips tried to buck with no avail.
“Gimme-” Ardent panted. “Gimme a sec—hhnh, oh fuck.”
Gauss jerked up into them and suddenly they were stuffed full.
Ardent's fingers scrambled at his armor, trying to find purchase as if it would help. It was a lot. The stretch burned despite the copious amount of fluid Gauss secreted. Her drool dripped between Gauss's chitinous joints as her mouth gaped wide in a soundless keen.
There was no reprieve. Gauss's hips stuttered in small circles like he was trying to hold back from jack-hammering away, but all it did was tease them with the occasional jolt of pleasure. She had lost control of his voice completely, letting whatever raw noises slip free without a second thought. Thank the stars Entrati had sound-proofed the backroom to hell and back.
Gauss's emission vents hissed and whistled. He was providing enough slick now that it was dripping down their thighs and creating a wet spot beneath them. Every time he fucked into her it made a wet squelching sound that would have made even Ardent embarrassed if they weren't currently getting every thought fucked out of their head. The slick reduced the friction to nothing and every thrust brought Gauss deeper and deeper, until, breathlessly, he was brought flush to Gauss's pelvis.
“F-Fuck, Squiggles.” Ardent's voice hiccuped out of them. “D-Didn't know you h-had this in you.”
Gauss let out a short, earsplitting whistle. The couch creaked, protesting as Gauss sped up. Ardent swore the air around them was heating up. Sweat was dripping down their bare back and down the length of her throat. Her legs burned from kneeling and his arms were shaking and their cock ached, caught between harsh sword-steel and her own stomach.
It was all so distracting that she didn't notice the subtle drop in temperature until something cold brushed against their thigh.
“Ugh?!” Ardent tried to jerk away, but went nowhere. She glanced down and froze.
There was just enough wiggle room to stare down the length of their body. They could see where Gauss was pistoning himself inside them, his cock glowing an electric blue so vivid they could see the faintest impression of its color through their stomach. This distracted her for only a moment, before the cold, wet touch returned and their gaze snapped to the source—Gauss's slit, where a second cock had emerged.
“Oh w-wha-” Ardent said. “What the fuck-”
It was a perfect mirror image of the cock fucking them open, right down to the color. But while the first was hot to the touch, this one was shockingly cold.
“Two? You had two this whol-?!”
Ardent was caught off by a yelp. The newly revealed cock had touched the crown of her own dick. It made all the wires in their brain go haywire. It was too much, too cold. But they couldn't escape it and it paid her struggling no mind as it wrapped the overheated length of her cock in an icy cold embrace.
Overwhelmed and overstimulated, caught between the forces of hot and cold, Ardent came with a bitten off cry.
They pressed back into Gauss's thrusts, wringing out as much of their own pleasure as she could. Gauss was all too happy to truly give it to him now, one cock fucking up into him while the other squeezed and curled and milked their orgasm from them drop by drop.
The tension shivered out of Ardent and they collapsed fully into the warframe—then whined forlornly when it became apparent that Gauss had no intention to stop.
"Ga-Gauss…"
Gauss chittered and his hands pet over their shaking flanks sweetly, but Ardent just shook her head.
“I real-ly can't go again-!” The cool tip of Gauss's cock pressed against their slit, almost pressing inside. “Gauss!”
Gauss whined. The pressure around her spent cock abated and she let out a shuddering breath of relief.
“T-Thaaaahhnks!"
Satisfied, Gauss planted his feet on the floor, the couch screeching ominously. He pulled them into a crushing embrace, almost a grapple, their chests flush together. It popped several spots along Ardent's spine and they couldn't help but moan in confusion, and then appreciation as their brain decided it felt very, very good.
And then Gauss proceeded to give to them as best he could.
Ardent lay limp, sticky with their own cum, taking it with only a few weak moans as he listened to the wet slap of skin and sword-steel meeting. They would have bruises along the backs of her thighs for days, if they were lucky.
Gauss snapped his hips into them, hard enough to shock the breath from her lungs, and went abruptly still.
Ardent felt a flood of warmth bloom inside of them. It was a strange feeling, but not unpleasant. Then there was a pulse—a rippling, undulating sensation, and the warmth filling them grew heavier, fuller.
“Oh, shit.” Ardent's head dropped to Gauss's chassis. They stared down at Gauss's crotch. The second cock was shuddering, pushing out a stream of small pearlescent orbs that dripped with slick fluid and spilled over Ardent's thigh onto the fabric below. From what little they could make out of the first cock, it was doing precisely the same thing inside of their body.
Ardent wiggled a weak hand between their bodies and pressed it down on her stomach, and felt as small spherical objects—as eggs shifted beneath her flesh.
Swiftly, his hand moved down to pump their spent cock as a Gauss continued to pump them full of eggs, and the orgasm that smashed into them was immediate and so intense that Ardent blacked out.
The world shifted back into focus slowly. She was still on the couch, though they were distinctly more horizontal then before. There was a pillow jammed behind their head and under his knees, and everything from the waist down felt very wet.
The first attempt at sitting up made them flop back down with a groan. Everything ached. Their thighs, knees, arms—stomach. She almost felt bloated, heavy and drunk. He dragged a limp hand over their stomach and swallowed hard upon feeling the bulge below their navel. Pressing the heel of her palm down upon the taut skin made them gasp, both in discomfort and strange pleasure, as something—somethings—shifted under their skin.
“Guess I could go again.” Her voice was a scratch, raw. Wouldn't that be fun to explain to the Hex over dinner. Ardent raised their head again, blinking blearily in the low light of the loft. "Squiggles?"
A water bottle smacked into the side of the couch, startling them.
Gauss had moved, standing like an oversized guard dog at the entrance of the loft. He was bouncing at an almost nervous frequency. When they did nothing but stare stupidly at him, he picked up another bottle from the side table next to him and threw it. It exploded against the leg of the couch.
The tension broke. Ardent snorted.
“Gee, thanks. I don't have enough to clean up as it is.” Ardent flailed around for the still intact bottle and chugged it, then threw the empty plastic at the warframe's head.
It dinked right off one of his antennae and rolled under a cabinet.
“I can't believe you,” Ardent said, stabbing a finger in the warframe's direction. “You had a whole second dick and didn't tell me? How could you!”
Gauss shrugged.
"Unbelievable." Ardent said, grumpily. "Will you quit hovering and get over here?"
Gauss zipped to their side, moving more like a Volt then a Gauss—he didn't even shift the couch half a foot upon collision. He was still hovering, and he didn't touch them, but he leaned in when Ardent reached up to scratch him beneath the chin.
“There's my boy.” Ardent said, with something like a smile upon their lips.
Her fingers found a familiar indentation and pressed down. There was a pressurized hiss, then Gauss's face peeled back.
He chittered nervously, then appreciatively when Ardent drew herself up—clumsily, and with very little dignity—and put her lips to ruined skin.
They pulled back and the sword-steel curled back into place. Ardent put their hand on the glossy surface and stroked their thumb across it adoringly.
“You know, you can't infect me.” Ardent said, “Or get me pregnant, for that matter.”
Gauss's antennae flipped, one after the other.
“Yes, I'm sure.”
The antennae drooped.
“No, I'm not sorry.” Ardent snorted, flicking the warframe with their finger. He staggered back as if taking a grave wound. “Hey, get back here, mister! You're not off the hook for cleaning up the mess you made!”